Thursday, December 29, 2011
Guess what Sharkman and Bissell Boy got for Christmas
That's right folks, the staff at Belo News received Go Pro cameras for Christmas from their kids. Just when you thought Belo couldn't get any better! Is this a great country or what?
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
SHARKMAN DOES TOUR OF SANTA FE!
HOW ABOUT A NEW YEARS DAY PARTY?
A NEW MINION IN THE PELOTON?!
INJURY UPDATES!
HOW ABOUT A NEW YEARS DAY PARTY?
A NEW MINION IN THE PELOTON?!
INJURY UPDATES!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THE MIGHTY MINION NATION!
Belo News
December 22, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – At Outside Magazine, you get the Buyers Guide, at Sports Illustrated, you get the Swim Suit Edition, Bicycling has the New Bike Guide, so with the entire Minion Nation suffering from major Belo News “withdrawal,” the Editors have decided to put together this Early Winter/Christmas Edition of the Belo News! Oh the humanity!
And have we got news for you, Bunkie!
The Editors at Belo News have been following the exploits and foibles of our intrepid hero and one thing we know about the diminutive dynamo is that he is always on the go! After his conquest and reign at the Iceman Cometh, our hero booked a trip out to Santa Fe to do some more biking with his son in law, the Great Moultini, who scored him a couple of great test bikes (along with some great bike and winter swag!).
And ride they did!
Then it was out to San Francisco to visit with even more Sharklets and to have an early Christmas on the West Coast! Oh, the humanity!
And when he got back, what did our hero do, you ask?
He went out to Ft. Custer for a ride, that’s what he did!
But we digress, ........so let’s get started!
TOUR OF THE WEST!
Belo News
November 23, 2011
Santa Fe, N.M. – Our intrepid hero headed out to Santa Fe for Thanksgiving and an early Christmas celebration where his son in law, the Great Moultini, scored the Sharkman not one, but two test bikes to ride. The Great Moultini delivered on both a carbon fiber road bike, as well as a dual suspension, aluminum 29er! These bikes were AWESOME!
Less than a mile from the Moultini’s lair, there is 20 miles of single track dessert riding through dry river beds and foothills. Riding in and out of the river beds is like a BMX route that is filled with stomach dropping thrills and spills. The entire area slopes up towards the mountains and after climbing the foothills, the rider can be assured of an exhilarating descent down to the finish. Sharkman and Moultini got 4 mountain bike rides in during the visit.
The day that our hero arrived, the Great Moultini wanted to insure that he put his father in law in the “Pain Cave” before he could get acclimated to the 7,000 ft. of elevation so he took him out on a short, but hilly road ride on a bike so light our hero felt like he should be tethering it to his wrist so it wouldn’t float away. That is, until he got to the first climb and then could not get enough air in his lungs to pedal the carbon fiber bike (that now seemed to weigh as much as a Mack Truck) up the incline!
On the Friday after Thanksgiving (Black Friday), the Great Moultini and two other riders from the Magazine took our hero down to a mountain climb near Albuquerque that they would do on road bikes. It was raining pretty hard at the start and the Sharkman attempted to invoke the Shark Minion Credo that a Minion will ride IN the rain, but not START in the rain. However, the Great Moultini made it clear they all were riding this day.
Things got interesting when the paved road they were on turned to gravel and then dirt as they started to climb in search of the “alleged paved road” to the mountain. The now, not so Great Moultini and Alpha Leader told the crew that he was sure they would get to the paved road that goes up the mountain soon as he led the forced march in grit and sand and speeds of 4-5 mph were pounded out by the four riders.
As the rain turned to sleet and then snow, the wet group of riders decided they’d had enough fun and turned around to head back down the mountain to the Tahoe. Their once hot, sweaty bodies, began to cool dramatically as the only exertion on the way down the hill was the working of the brake levers as they maneuvered through the sand and muck at, ….well 4-5 mph.
Belo News
December 22, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – At Outside Magazine, you get the Buyers Guide, at Sports Illustrated, you get the Swim Suit Edition, Bicycling has the New Bike Guide, so with the entire Minion Nation suffering from major Belo News “withdrawal,” the Editors have decided to put together this Early Winter/Christmas Edition of the Belo News! Oh the humanity!
And have we got news for you, Bunkie!
The Editors at Belo News have been following the exploits and foibles of our intrepid hero and one thing we know about the diminutive dynamo is that he is always on the go! After his conquest and reign at the Iceman Cometh, our hero booked a trip out to Santa Fe to do some more biking with his son in law, the Great Moultini, who scored him a couple of great test bikes (along with some great bike and winter swag!).
And ride they did!
Then it was out to San Francisco to visit with even more Sharklets and to have an early Christmas on the West Coast! Oh, the humanity!
And when he got back, what did our hero do, you ask?
He went out to Ft. Custer for a ride, that’s what he did!
But we digress, ........so let’s get started!
TOUR OF THE WEST!
Belo News
November 23, 2011
Santa Fe, N.M. – Our intrepid hero headed out to Santa Fe for Thanksgiving and an early Christmas celebration where his son in law, the Great Moultini, scored the Sharkman not one, but two test bikes to ride. The Great Moultini delivered on both a carbon fiber road bike, as well as a dual suspension, aluminum 29er! These bikes were AWESOME!
Less than a mile from the Moultini’s lair, there is 20 miles of single track dessert riding through dry river beds and foothills. Riding in and out of the river beds is like a BMX route that is filled with stomach dropping thrills and spills. The entire area slopes up towards the mountains and after climbing the foothills, the rider can be assured of an exhilarating descent down to the finish. Sharkman and Moultini got 4 mountain bike rides in during the visit.
The day that our hero arrived, the Great Moultini wanted to insure that he put his father in law in the “Pain Cave” before he could get acclimated to the 7,000 ft. of elevation so he took him out on a short, but hilly road ride on a bike so light our hero felt like he should be tethering it to his wrist so it wouldn’t float away. That is, until he got to the first climb and then could not get enough air in his lungs to pedal the carbon fiber bike (that now seemed to weigh as much as a Mack Truck) up the incline!
On the Friday after Thanksgiving (Black Friday), the Great Moultini and two other riders from the Magazine took our hero down to a mountain climb near Albuquerque that they would do on road bikes. It was raining pretty hard at the start and the Sharkman attempted to invoke the Shark Minion Credo that a Minion will ride IN the rain, but not START in the rain. However, the Great Moultini made it clear they all were riding this day.
Things got interesting when the paved road they were on turned to gravel and then dirt as they started to climb in search of the “alleged paved road” to the mountain. The now, not so Great Moultini and Alpha Leader told the crew that he was sure they would get to the paved road that goes up the mountain soon as he led the forced march in grit and sand and speeds of 4-5 mph were pounded out by the four riders.
As the rain turned to sleet and then snow, the wet group of riders decided they’d had enough fun and turned around to head back down the mountain to the Tahoe. Their once hot, sweaty bodies, began to cool dramatically as the only exertion on the way down the hill was the working of the brake levers as they maneuvered through the sand and muck at, ….well 4-5 mph.
With the sound of squealing brake pads ringing in their ears, the four wet riders descended the mountain like drunken sailors walking home after a night in port.
After a brief, but exciting encounter with a stray dog, and by the time they got back to the pavement and the car, they were so cold their fingers did not work to unbuckle their helmet straps and they had to unbuckle each others! The bikes were filled with sand and grit as they jumped into the car and got the heater going. Sharkman pulled out his iPhone, with his frozen hands, and opened the Starbucks app and learned there was a Starbucks just down the road. As the riders warmed their frozen mitts around the warm cups of coffee and discussions of their exploits, the cold miserable ride became a ride of epic proportions. With each sip of the warm, dark roast, the ride became more fun in their memories and they began talking about the next ride adventure.
Great thing about cycling, eh? “They’re all good rides! As they say, a bad day on the bike is better than a good day in the office….”
Sharkman and Lava Girl had a great time visiting all their sharklet’s out west!
Sharkman and Lava Girl had a great time visiting all their sharklet’s out west!
NEW MINION IN THE PELOTON!
Or should we say “sharklet!”
Belo News
December 15, 2011
Kalamazoo, Mi. – The Editors at Belo News are pleased to announce a new addition to the Mighty Minion Nation!
Born to Luke (Sky Walker and son of the Tow Truck) and Paige Miller on December 15, 2011 at 6:20am EST. and weighing in at 9lbs 2oz. and 21.8 inches we are pleased to announce the introduction of the newest addition to Team Miller!
Eason Charles Miller!
(Nick Name to be determined)
This photo caught him dreaming about riding the Tow Truck’s wheel!
Congratulations to Luke and Paige (and the proud Tow Truck) and the entire Miller Clan! It will be a VERY merry Christmas at the Tow Truck home this year!
We understand Tow Truck is already shopping for bikes for the future Minion Racer!
This photo caught him dreaming about riding the Tow Truck’s wheel!
Congratulations to Luke and Paige (and the proud Tow Truck) and the entire Miller Clan! It will be a VERY merry Christmas at the Tow Truck home this year!
We understand Tow Truck is already shopping for bikes for the future Minion Racer!
INJURY UPDATE!
Belo News
December 19, 2011
Kalamazoo, Mi. – We are pleased to report the legendary Minion, Hawkeye, is doing well in his recovery and is through the major part of his treatment for melanoma. Hawkeye reports that he has lost a good bit of weight, around 30 pounds and is hoping to be lean and mean next summer when he gets back to the peloton! (Scary to think of a lighter, more powerful Hawkeye! Oh, the humanity!)
Hawkeye also reported that a CT scan and MRI taken back in October came back clean!
Hawkeye wants the Minion Nation to know he appreciates everyone’s thoughts and prayers and looks forward to getting back to the peloton next season!
The Minion Nation looks forward to seeing Hawkeye back in the hunt for that finishing sprint this spring!
NEW YEARS DAY FT. CUSTER EXTRAVAGANZA!
Belo News
January 1, 2012
Ft. Custer – M.C. Hammer, long time Minion and wife of the intrepid Minion Chumley, wants to invite the Mighty Minion Nation to her 15th Annual New Years Day ride/hike/ski/snow shoe extravaganza out at Ft. Custer!
What better way to knock the dog that bit you out of your fuzzy little Minion head from all that New Years Eve partying then to put on some ski’s, snow shoes, mountain bike shoes/boots or whatever and come on our to the Ft. for some fun and camaraderie?
Is this a great country or what?
So mark you calendars now!
Monday, January 1, 2012
Ft. Custer Recreation Area Trail Head
– Party Time – 10:00 A.M. until ???
What a way to start 2012!
AND NOW A WORD FROM THE SHARKMAN HISSELF!
Belo News
December 21, 2011
Shark Cove, MI. – To my Mighty Minion Nation, Lava Girl and I want to wish all of you a
VERY BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY, HEALTHY NEW YEAR!
Don’t forget, Opening Day is only 80 days away!
Don’t forget, Opening Day is only 80 days away!
(Yep, 80....count'em yourself)
(Get the Koffee ready Luann!)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
MIGHTY MINION NATION RULES ICEMAN!
SHARKMAN SURVIVES!IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?
TOW TRUCK ON A NEW RIDE?
Belo News
November 5, 2011
Traverse City, Mi. – In what has been described as the best weather conditions in years, the Mighty Minion Nation ruled the trails at the 23rd running of the Iceman Cometh Challenge!
During the post race press conference our intrepid hero, the Sharkman summed it up by saying, “my Minions ruled the day! ….It was a victory for America!”
In the largest one day mountain bike race in the country, rumored to have been in excess of 4,700 riders this year, the Mighty Minion Nation rode for PR’s on the trails, and made a major dent in the supplied barrels of Bell’s finest, breaking all sorts of beer consumption records along the way!
Though not many of the Minion’s reported in (so if your name is not in the blog, don’t blame Belo News!), Belo News and their reporters spread out over the Timber Ridge Camp Ground to gather whatever information they could on the race and the Minions, so here we go!........
Sharkman, Bissell Boy and Zickman had planned out the race like the invasion of Normandy. Bissell Boy’s logistic genius was demonstrated as he scored lodging, VIP Parking, and even some free beer for the three freeloading riders!
But we digress! Let’s get on with race day!
As a sunny dawn broke over the bustling burg of Traverse City, the three Minions headed over to the VIP parking section of the Timber Ridge Campground and Iceman finish area to drop off Bissell Boy’s car and then headed over to Kalkaska in the Zickmobile for Zickman to get registered and to start the race.
It was a cool, crisp morning as the three riders warmed up at the start. Because this was Sharkman’s first time at Iceman and Zickman, though a wily veteran, had not ridden the race last year, neither was seeded and therefore were placed in the 61 and older age group (wave #33). At the start, the announcer congratulated the “older” riders on still riding at that age as Sharkman and Zickman looked at each other and thought that they didn’t really need to hear that kind of message as they pondered the trails ahead.
However, there were riders well into their 70’s riding the Iceman and Sharkman felt prepared and knew that Zickman was!
As wave #33 went off (with 80 riders in each wave), Zickman shot to the front faster than a dog on a meat wagon and was the first rider to dive into the single track hole right after the ride on city streets through Kalkaska. Sharkman never saw the speedy Zickman again until the end of the race! It was like he was shot out of a gun!The first part of the ride went very well and Sharkman was feeling good until he got to the first section of single track and a group of riders got backed up to a complete stop!
Sharkman got caught in that pocket of riders longer than the condom in his high school wallet! It seemed like “forever” before the riders got moving and when they finally did, it was at a snails pace as they winded their way between trees on a single track that did not allow for any passing.
As the trail went back and forth between dual and single track, riders began spreading out, and Sharkman began to pass people who had started in earlier waves.
Half way through the ride, Sharkman started thinking that the Iceman might be easier than originally billed. But he had been warned of what lay ahead and he knew he had to conserve some of that Shark energy for the final hills!
Hoosier Boy, sporting his lime green Apple Jacks jersey, flew by our hero with about 23k to go and never looked back! He seemed to be flying as Sharkman watched him dancing on his pedals, headed up the next hill like a fly on a wall not to be seen again.
Sharkman was feeling good and was handling the hills well and only had to walk two of them when riders in front of him went down and stopped him.
What Sharkman found amazing was the variety of riders taking on the Iceman! Old, young, big, small, men, women,….. one rider who looked to be in his 30’s was overweight AND had his seat so low it looked like his knees would hit him in the chin on every pedal stroke. People dressed like Nanook of the North and riders in short sleeves and shorts!
But on they rode! Tandems riders, seemingly flying up hills! It was simply amazing!
Because of the great weather, the sand did not seem to be posing any special problems and Sharkman was really feeling strong as he approached the half way mark and followed clear lines through the troublesome sand. Our hero was holding back for the dreaded end of the route and the hills and sand that everyone had warned him about.
As the kilometer markers ticked down, Sharkman started to feel like he was going to make the three hour goal he had set for himself. As the riders got closer to the finish, the noise of cow bells, the voice of the finishing announcer and the milling shouts of the crowds began to fill the air along with the occasional curse of a rider fighting to stay on the pedals up the ever increasing number of hills!
In what certainly seemed to be a sadistic twist, the race organizers brought the riders into shoots that took them close to the finish and then back out and down a very technical single track with a hairpin turn that knocked most of the riders down and anyone following them, at least this was Sharkman’s fate! After a brief interlude with hitting the ground, our hero was back up and riding, only to face what he thought was the steepest, but thankfully short, hill of the day!
Though he is not sure he would have made it to the top on his own power, he was thankfully stopped by the rider ahead of him and had to walk the last few feet to the top.
Remounting, he was off and able to pass a few more riders as he headed to the finish line with the sound of screaming spectators and already finished Minions ringing, in his ears!
Bissell Boy, Iceman, Brewman and Mrs. Brewman and a few Team Taylor riders were all waiting in the finishing area, Bell’s brews in hand, to congratulate the very happy to be alive Sharkman! His first reaction was to check his iPhone Bike App for his time and was greatly disappointed to read the time of 3:14, only to realize he had turned it on before the start and the actual ride time was 2:40!
YES, he “CRUSHED” the three hour time he’d set for himself and AND, more importantly, he survived!
It certainly was a victory for America!
After a quick trip to the car to put on some dry cloths and a stop at one of the food tents for Bissell Boy to spring for some totally awesome Mac & Cheese, our hero began to make the rounds to sign autographs and schmooze with his adoring fans and Minions.
In addition to Mr. and Mrs. Brewman, they rounded up Zickman and found Gazelle Girl and her tandem partner, Richard Neumann (who actually built the Sharkman’s Litespeed steed!). Amazingly, they had a time of 2:17! Whoa, is Gazelle Girl a stud or what?!
Cleary, Mr. Nicey, and a number of the Team Taylor riders were not only in attendance and rode hard, but also had a campsite complete with cold beer, burgers and brats! These Team Taylor guys know how to rock!
Danimal, Chumbly and M.C. Hammer were also in attendance and Chumbly was handing out cans of PBR like Halloween candy! Love ya, Chumbly! Haven’t had a PBR in years!
Don Chic was there walking one of his kids mountain bikes as his twin sons had done the Slush Cup while he was doing the Iceman. A family of Minion riders!
Falcon reportedly had a great race (Belo News didn’t see him), and Wrongway reported in that he was doing great on his SINGLE speed and was in the lead group at mile 22 and leading at 23 when he started to hit the wall. Wrongway then said he got light headed and had to pull off the bike for a bit at mile 24. Amazingly, he still finished in 2:08! Though he was disappointed, he made the Nation proud! What a Minion!
(The Mighty Minion Nation should be aware that Belo News offers a program for psychological counseling for those who do this ride on a tandem or a single speed.)
What is the matter with those people?
After all the visiting, drinking and sponging food and beer off of anyone who would give it away, Bissell Boy, Zickman and Sharkman headed over to the Bissell Team tent to watch the Pro’s finish and get a free cow bell. Yep, FREE cow bells! This just keeps getting better!
Bissell had two team riders taking part in the race and one of them, Eric Young, is the current 2011 U.S. Crit Champion, but even more important for Sharkman, Eric is the 2009/2010/2011 Little Five Champion riding for the Cutters at Indiana University! Sharkman’s Daughter Nicole was the 1999 Champ riding for Theta!
As our three riders watched the finish, ringing cow bells and drinking beer, Chumbly, M.C. Hammer and Danimal joined in the fun and Chumbly handed out some more PBR. You gotta love this guy!
As the day wound down (about 5 p.m.), our three minions headed back to the car to drive Zickman back to his car so he could drive back home, while Bissell Boy and Sharkman headed to their downtown Traverse City digs for dinner and later, attended the Iceman Party at the “Loading Dock Bar” along with Team Bissell. Interestingly, when the Bell’s rep found out that Bissell Boy’s company, Employment Group is a co-sponsor for Bissell he started handing out free beer! This is, indeed, a great Country! Can it get any better?
The mountain bike vibe at Timber Ridge, the pre and post race festivities, the entire experience for the Iceman can only be described as “electric.” The flowing Bell’s beer (and PBR), the laughs and hitting all the vendor tents, finding other riders and hearing their race stories, ringing cow bells and cheering riders on, are all a part of this incredible experience!
Sharkman was quoted as saying, “Next Year!”
Everyone needs to experience this incredible race!
For more on the race, watch this video and see if you don’t want to start training for 2012!
http://www.cyclingdirt.org/coverage/240413-ICEMAN-Cometh-Challenge-2011/video/513606-The-Iceman-Experience-2011-Iceman-Cometh-Challenge
TOW TRUCK ON A NEW RIDE?
YES, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT!
Belo News
November 5, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – As many of our readers are aware, the infamous Tow Truck, made infamous for his awesome feats of strength and lengthy pulls at the front the peloton, was taken out of the season prematurely this year, sidelined with a rotor cuff injury and subsequent surgery after a mountain bike crash at Ft. Custer. This perennial “horse” was missed at the end of each ride as he stretched the peloton out with his “pulls” for safer finishes. Minions may remember that the Belo News reported that he had begun working out on a trainer, even with his “broken wing!”
How could this guy get any faster or stronger you ask?
Well, in yet another in-depth, hard hitting investigative report, Belo News has learned that the irascible rider, the Tow Truck, has made a major acquisition and purchased this little beauty you see in the accompanying photo! Yes, Tow Truck is now the owner of this very sweet Trek Madone from Team Active! All we can say here at Belo News is, “there ought to be a law against this guy getting a faster ride!”
Tow Truck will be riding the Minions off his wheel next year!
And to that we here at Belo News say, “Oh, the Humanity!”
CLASSIFIED
A couple of weeks ago, Wrongway asked that we post the attached link, advertising some of his “stuff” that he has up for sale. We apologize for the delay in getting this posted, but we’ve heard some of the stuff and the bikes are still available. So, here you go if you looking for cool stuff and/or BIKES!
“I'm selling a bunch of stuff. You mentioned posting it on the blog. A minion classifieds might be something of interest...not sure though. Here's my post on MMBA if you want to link to it:http://mmba.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=107087
AND FINALLY…….
It has been a great season!
This will be the last Belo News post for a while, though there may be some winter riding/skiing that takes place before Opening Day next March with accompanying story. Belo News wants to thank the Mighty Minion Nation, Luann and Jaime at the Klutch and all those who make Western Michigan the cycling capital of the world as we Minions know it!
Minions Rock!
Have a great holiday season and see you all next year!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
ANOTHER SPECTACULAR MORNING!
ICEMAN COMETH THIS SATURDAY!THE CLOSE OF THE SEASON?
Belo News
October 29, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, pulled back the shark covers on his shark bed and stumbled out to the kitchen, he was beginning to feel an entire season of riding in his legs. The old Shark was finding it difficult to crawl out of that nice warm bed on a cold, dark morning at the Cove.
But up he was, and after checking the weather, and a quick cup of Shark Koffee, he was off for the Klutch in the dark in his Sharkmobilevibe.
As he approached the Klutch, the soft glow of lights in the fogged up windows and the neon “Open” sign called out to him of the end of the season and perhaps his final appearance at his favorite koffee shop, at least until ski season starts.
As our hero walked in the door, a shout of “Sharkman” was heard from the Saturday Morning Regulars and their leader, Mary. Even their numbers seemed to be low on this cold dark morning.
Soon after, Hoosier Boy, Brewman, and new Minion Kevin (name to be determined) arrived as Sharkman regaled his fans on the upcoming Iceman and his fear of the dreaded hills he has heard so much about. Kevin, who Stryker Guy introduced to the Nation, stopped to check in before driving over to the trail head.
After their koffee, and the corresponding pit stops, it was a wave of goodbye to Jaime and the Saturday Morning Regulars as our hero’s saddled up and headed out to Ft. Custer.
To the east and south, the riders saw yet another beautiful sunrise. But as they rode into the park and past Whitford Lake, the dark, ominous clouds to the north were highlighted by one of the largest and longest bolts of lighting they’d ever seen! With a whiff of ozone (or was that Sand Hill Crane droppings?) and the snap of the thunder, the small but mighty Minion Nation wondered if they would be able to avoid the rain.
At the trail head, 11 Minions were ready to rock and roll! Iceman was back with several of the Team Taylor riders including the infamous Mr. Nicey, as well as Bissell Boy and Stingray. As the riders left the trail head, the sun broke through the clouds and another fantastic Saturday at Ft. Custer began to dawn as the rain clouds made an early exit.
The entire group decided to warm up on the Blue loop before taking a shot at the Red. Halfway through the Red, the groups split into two, with some doing the entire red, while the other did another loop of the Blue and back to parts of the Red, with Cardiac Hill thrown in for their hill work.
There were no exciting crashes or mishaps to report, but most of the riders stayed way clear of Sharkman whenever they stopped to determine direction, remembering last weeks episode.
Bissell Boy escorted Brewman and Sharkman out to the Galesburg exit before heading back to the trail head. Total miles for Brewman and Sharkman when they got back to the Klutch totaled 29 miles and our hero could feel it in his legs! Oh, the humanity!
As everyone who is anyone in the world of cycling knows, this Saturday is the Iceman Cometh in Traverse City. We are not exactly sure of the exact Minion count that will be in attendance, but a whole bunch of the Mighty Minion Nation will be there to ride, including our hero the Sharkman who is just hoping to be able to walk when he is done.
In assuring Sharkman that he would be fine for the ride, Gazelle Girl may have said it best when she stated,
“Oh Sharkman - the more the years go by the more Iceman becomes about a weekend away drinking beer w/my bike buddies --- with a bike ride tossed in to burn off the beer!”
Ah, nothing like having our sport put into perspective like only Gazelle Girl can do! Sharkman can’t wait to get up there to ride AND enjoy some of Bell’s finest!
So Belo News will be up at Traverse City to cover the Iceman this weekend to report on how the Mighty Minion Nation performs! Sharkman plans to stay in back so he can report better on the race and his coverage from the beer tent should be outstanding! Well, until he has had his second Bell's.
Remember Minions, you should report your result to Belo News so it can be reported in next week’s season ending blog! And don't forget photos!
Viva Bikes!
END OF SEASON?
Belo News
November 2, 2011
From our hero, The Sharkman!
Galesburg, Mi. – With the Iceman Race this weekend, and impending gun deer season at Ft. Custer, this unofficially marks the end of yet another fantastic season of riding with some of the best Minions any Shark could every have. The Sharkman wants to thank everyone for coming out and making the KK-TdG the highlight of his week (which may be an indication of just how exciting his life is!). Although the Sharkman has had a regular Saturday ride going since 1988, it wasn’t until the Klutch opened and the Belo News started that the ride really caught on. Each of the past 6 seasons has been almost magical with new riders coming on board almost every year and with riders numbering in the mid 20’s almost every week between Memorial and Labor Day. With very few rainouts, the past 6 seasons have been nothing less than incredible.The Mighty Nation Opening Day has always been the second Saturday in March and that will be March 10, 2012. So start planning now and mark your calendars!
We will put out special invitations for occasional Ft. Custer Rides (we actually rode out there until the first week in January last year), as well as possible Cross Country Ski events so stay tuned and check the blog periodically.
Thanks to the Mighty Minion Nation for another fantastic season of cycling!
The Mighty Minion Nation rules!
Viva Bikes!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
20 MINIONS SHOW UP TO RIDE!
SHARKMAN TAKES OUT BISSELL BOY!
CRASH LEAVES OUR HERO BRUISED AND EMBARRASSED!
Belo News
October 22, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Can anything be as beautiful as Western Michigan on a chilly fall morning?
The answer would seem to be a resounding NO!
As the regular Saturday morning group awaited the Sharkman’s arrival at the Klutch, they were all commenting on how cold it was and wondering if our intrepid hero would arrive to sign autographs and regale the regulars on his feats of cycling.
Right on schedule, our hero arrived to a resounding cheer from the group and a greeting from one of his favorite Barista’s, Jamie. Jamie immediately asked if the Minions were riding in the 30 degree weather to which the Sharkman responded, “Of course!”
Arriving shortly after our hero, were Brewman, followed by Hoosier Boy, who recently ran a 3:08 time at the Chicago Marathon! That is fast!
Congratulations Hoosier Boy!
After some koffee and the corresponding pit stop, the threesome took off from the Klutch with the temperature recording at a very chilly 31 degrees as they headed up the Champ le Galesburg towards the Fort.
The sun was just breaking into the sky as the three riders made their way to the trail head. As they passed by Whitford and Lawlor Lakes, the mist was rising from the warm waters in the cold air as swans swam by the trail. This is what fall in Michigan is all about! The colors, the crisp air, the mist and wildlife just made it a drop dead gorgeous morning at Fort Custer, making Sharkman wish he had brought his camera with him.
To our hero’s surprise, the trail head was packed with the Michigan Mountain Bike Association members, led by Chumbly and M.C. Hammer and even Kid Doster, who were out there to work on the trails. Once again the Mighty Minion Nation was humbled by the work being done on the trails, making the rest of the group feel guilty. 19 Minions in all were ready to ride! A new Minion Mountain Bike record!
As Bissell Boy and Stryker guy rode in, a number of the Team Taylor riders were already in attendance, led by Iceman himself, as well as Ironman on a cross bike, and Danimal, chomping at the bit to lead the group out on the trail (he actually was in a hurry because he had to get back for soccer duty).
Bissell Boy once again volunteered to lead a B group doing miles in preparation for the Iceman, while the rest of the riders went out with Danimal and the Team Taylor studs.
Bissell Boy, Stingray, Brewman, Stryker Guy and Sharkman took off for the blue, then did a circuit of the red and yellow, more parts of the red and headed back to the trail head to determine what other adventures were to be pursued.
That is when it occurred…….
As the riders slowed at the entrance to the trail head, Sharkman pulled up along side Bissell Boy as they discussed who wanted to do the green trail. Sharkman, at a complete stop, shifted his weight to his left side, but could not get his foot out of the pedal and did a very embarrassing sideways flop, reminiscent of a Laugh In trike fall, right into Bissell Boy’s bike. Bissell Boy, being the class act that he is, tried to catch our hero as he tipped over like a drunken sailor, only to have his carbon fiber Niner get in the way of the fall. As Sharkman laid on his side feeling somewhat stupid for the miscue, and feeling something sharp in his back, he noticed that his handlebar end was resting on Bissell Boys front derailleur.
Stingray tried in vain to help the Sharkman get up, but Sharkman cautioned everyone that they had to be careful of the handlebar end screwing up Bissell Boy’s derailleur.
Sharkman was eventually able to get his foot loose, but as they lifted the bike, he saw that his handlebar had pushed Bissell Boy’s front derailleur far enough around the seat tube that the chain would not pass through the router without being straightened!
Oh, the humanity,…… not to mention the embarrassment!
Sharkman was able to accomplish this crash while STANDING STILL!
Our hero even was able to contract a major bruise on his back from the fall and has no idea what he hit!
Is this guy amazing or what?!? Oh, the clumsiness!
No harm, no foul. Stingray was able to load up Bissell Boys bike on his Stingraymobiletruck and take him to Custer Cyclery, where they performed the minor, but crucial, repair and Bissell Boy learned that a special tool is needed to perform this repair! Oh, the humanity! He was, however, able to ride home from the shop.
Sharkman, with his doral between his legs, followed Brewman back to the Klutch after briefly looking for Hoosier Boy, who was still out on the trails somewhere.
They did see Don Chic going the other way on the way out of Ft. Custer and though he was not there exactly on time at the start, he get’s credit for showing for a second time!
Total miles, 24.25!
You won’t want to miss this week’s edition! The weather is predicted to be about the same without getting as warm as last Saturday, but dry again!
Same drill.
CRASH LEAVES OUR HERO BRUISED AND EMBARRASSED!
Belo News
October 22, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Can anything be as beautiful as Western Michigan on a chilly fall morning?
The answer would seem to be a resounding NO!
As the regular Saturday morning group awaited the Sharkman’s arrival at the Klutch, they were all commenting on how cold it was and wondering if our intrepid hero would arrive to sign autographs and regale the regulars on his feats of cycling.
Right on schedule, our hero arrived to a resounding cheer from the group and a greeting from one of his favorite Barista’s, Jamie. Jamie immediately asked if the Minions were riding in the 30 degree weather to which the Sharkman responded, “Of course!”
Arriving shortly after our hero, were Brewman, followed by Hoosier Boy, who recently ran a 3:08 time at the Chicago Marathon! That is fast!
Congratulations Hoosier Boy!
After some koffee and the corresponding pit stop, the threesome took off from the Klutch with the temperature recording at a very chilly 31 degrees as they headed up the Champ le Galesburg towards the Fort.
The sun was just breaking into the sky as the three riders made their way to the trail head. As they passed by Whitford and Lawlor Lakes, the mist was rising from the warm waters in the cold air as swans swam by the trail. This is what fall in Michigan is all about! The colors, the crisp air, the mist and wildlife just made it a drop dead gorgeous morning at Fort Custer, making Sharkman wish he had brought his camera with him.
To our hero’s surprise, the trail head was packed with the Michigan Mountain Bike Association members, led by Chumbly and M.C. Hammer and even Kid Doster, who were out there to work on the trails. Once again the Mighty Minion Nation was humbled by the work being done on the trails, making the rest of the group feel guilty. 19 Minions in all were ready to ride! A new Minion Mountain Bike record!
As Bissell Boy and Stryker guy rode in, a number of the Team Taylor riders were already in attendance, led by Iceman himself, as well as Ironman on a cross bike, and Danimal, chomping at the bit to lead the group out on the trail (he actually was in a hurry because he had to get back for soccer duty).
Bissell Boy once again volunteered to lead a B group doing miles in preparation for the Iceman, while the rest of the riders went out with Danimal and the Team Taylor studs.
Bissell Boy, Stingray, Brewman, Stryker Guy and Sharkman took off for the blue, then did a circuit of the red and yellow, more parts of the red and headed back to the trail head to determine what other adventures were to be pursued.
That is when it occurred…….
As the riders slowed at the entrance to the trail head, Sharkman pulled up along side Bissell Boy as they discussed who wanted to do the green trail. Sharkman, at a complete stop, shifted his weight to his left side, but could not get his foot out of the pedal and did a very embarrassing sideways flop, reminiscent of a Laugh In trike fall, right into Bissell Boy’s bike. Bissell Boy, being the class act that he is, tried to catch our hero as he tipped over like a drunken sailor, only to have his carbon fiber Niner get in the way of the fall. As Sharkman laid on his side feeling somewhat stupid for the miscue, and feeling something sharp in his back, he noticed that his handlebar end was resting on Bissell Boys front derailleur.
Stingray tried in vain to help the Sharkman get up, but Sharkman cautioned everyone that they had to be careful of the handlebar end screwing up Bissell Boy’s derailleur.
Sharkman was eventually able to get his foot loose, but as they lifted the bike, he saw that his handlebar had pushed Bissell Boy’s front derailleur far enough around the seat tube that the chain would not pass through the router without being straightened!
Oh, the humanity,…… not to mention the embarrassment!
Sharkman was able to accomplish this crash while STANDING STILL!
Our hero even was able to contract a major bruise on his back from the fall and has no idea what he hit!
Is this guy amazing or what?!? Oh, the clumsiness!
No harm, no foul. Stingray was able to load up Bissell Boys bike on his Stingraymobiletruck and take him to Custer Cyclery, where they performed the minor, but crucial, repair and Bissell Boy learned that a special tool is needed to perform this repair! Oh, the humanity! He was, however, able to ride home from the shop.
Sharkman, with his doral between his legs, followed Brewman back to the Klutch after briefly looking for Hoosier Boy, who was still out on the trails somewhere.
They did see Don Chic going the other way on the way out of Ft. Custer and though he was not there exactly on time at the start, he get’s credit for showing for a second time!
Total miles, 24.25!
You won’t want to miss this week’s edition! The weather is predicted to be about the same without getting as warm as last Saturday, but dry again!
Same drill.
Sharkman gets to the Klutch around 7:20-7:30 a.m., signs autographs, greets the crowds and launches at 8:00 A.M. – SHARP! from the Klutch. He will then ride to the trail head where the riders will meet and break into A, B, C to Z groups for rides around Ft. Custer as the Minions complete their final preparations for the Iceman on November 5.
Don’t miss another beautiful morning out at Ft. Custer! The season is almost over!
Don’t miss another beautiful morning out at Ft. Custer! The season is almost over!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
WHERE WERE YOU?
PERFECT WEATHER FOR CUSTER OPENER!MINIONS WOW KOFFEE KLUTCH KROWD!
Belo News
October 8, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Was last Saturday a perfect day or what!
Anyone who is anyone in cycling circles was talking about the Mighty Minion Nation Mountain Bike Opening Day all of last week and Mother Nature delivered for those who made an appearance!
As our intrepid hero blew the dust off of his mountain bike and loaded it in the Sharkmovibe, he was wearing his new Stryker Jersey (see photo) and wondering if he needed arm warmers. As he checked the shark thermometer, and saw the balmy 58 Fahrenheit half way up the dorsal degree mark, he decided he would go sans arm warmers.
As Sharkman entered the Klutch, he did not see any other Minions, but the regulars were there and wanted to know why he and the Mighty Minion Nation weren’t riding! It appears that one of their Saturday morning rituals is to count the Minions as they go by to give Jamie, the famous Barista, a number to have koffee ready for the return!
They then invited the celebrity Shark to sit down and join them for their morning kup.
October 8, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Was last Saturday a perfect day or what!
Anyone who is anyone in cycling circles was talking about the Mighty Minion Nation Mountain Bike Opening Day all of last week and Mother Nature delivered for those who made an appearance!
As our intrepid hero blew the dust off of his mountain bike and loaded it in the Sharkmovibe, he was wearing his new Stryker Jersey (see photo) and wondering if he needed arm warmers. As he checked the shark thermometer, and saw the balmy 58 Fahrenheit half way up the dorsal degree mark, he decided he would go sans arm warmers.
As Sharkman entered the Klutch, he did not see any other Minions, but the regulars were there and wanted to know why he and the Mighty Minion Nation weren’t riding! It appears that one of their Saturday morning rituals is to count the Minions as they go by to give Jamie, the famous Barista, a number to have koffee ready for the return!
They then invited the celebrity Shark to sit down and join them for their morning kup.
As Sharkman began to sign autographs and regale the fans with stories of his riding prowess, Brewman walked in, followed by Bissell Boy and Stingray, all ready for a kup and to ride the trails.
After well wishes, hugs and general adulation had been heaped on the four Minions they headed out the door and bumped into Don Chic, as long time reader of the blog, first time rider. Actually, he was a BB Minion (Before Blog) and had ridden with our hero years ago when the ride use to launch from the Cove. However, having twin kids and job changes, this was his first ride back with the Nation in years! Don Chic announced he was going to get a kup and drive to the trail head because his family was going to meet him later and ride as well! A family of mountain bikers!
When the four Minions arrived at the trail head, they were greeted by M.C. Hammer who was working with the Michigan Mountain Bike Association doing trail improvement. Danimal, Cannon, Falcon, Don Chic and Zickman were all ready to ride.
M.C. Hammer graciously agreed to take a photo and then Sharkman announced he was going to lead the B group and Bissell Boy responded that they were getting ready for Iceman and needed miles. Sharkman had not been on the mountain bike since January and was feeling just a bit tentative.
So the entire crew took off on the red trail with Falcon, Danimal and the Cannon taking the lead. When the group got to Eagle Lake, Bissell Boy split off with the B group of Stingray, Zickman, Brewman and Sharkman in tow.
The B Group did the blue loop and added in some of the side trails before heading back to the red and Cardiac Hill. Bissell Boy ascended the out of category climb like a mountain goat, dancing on the pedals as his tires ate up the hill, followed by Brewman, while Sharkman hit a rut and stopped the forward momentum of both Stingray and Zickman.
As the Nation moved around parts of the red and began heading into the sun, Sharkman got a bit too close to Brewmans rear wheel and could not see how close he was as the sun was so low and bright.
First the sound of knobby treads rubbing (sort of a sick sound), followed by quick left turn of Sharkmans handlebars as he hit the deck! OUCH!
No harm, no foul. Sharkman apologized for being so close to Brewman and immediately was back on his bike as if to say, “I meant to do that!”
As the B Group made the turn back to the blue trail, Don Chic caught on after Falcon, Cannon and Danimal had headed out. Don Chic rode back to the Ft. Custer back door with the group before heading back to meet his family for a ride.
Zickman, who had ridden to the trail head, rode back to the Klutch with Bissel Boy, Stingray and Sharkman and convinced them to join him for a kup before he rode his bike home.
There weren’t too many fans in the Klutch, but the boys of summer enjoyed, yet another bottomless kup as they discussed logistics for the Iceman and how great the weather has been.
Total miles from the Klutch and back, 26+. Sharkman reported his legs were burning!
You won’t want to miss next weeks ride even though Sharkman will again be AWOL! NOT AGAIN!
That’s right, Sharkman has a commitment for Saturday morning and will not be able to ride, however the ride (s) will go on! Yes, you heard that right as well….. there are rides in the plural that are scheduled this weekend!
Since Sharkman can’t ride on Saturday, and needs the miles, he is going to ride on Friday afternoon at 2 p.m. to make up for it! Yea for Summer Hours!
So here is the schedule!
Friday, October 14, 2011 – Ft. Custer Trail Head – 2:00 p.m. launch – SHARP!
Saturday, October 15, 2011 – Ft. Custer Trail Head – 8:30 a.m. launch – SHARP!
Be there one or both days! Is this a great country or what!
WHAT IS BLUE AND IS NEVER OPENED?
SHARKWATER!
Belo News
October 8, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – As many of you are aware, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, reached yet another milestone this past week. Yes, the old Shark got even older and had another birthday! He wants to extend his thank you to all those Minions who sent their well wishes!
Meanwhile, Stingray came across a really unique birthday gift that caused quite a stir in the Shark Cove and in this in-depth investigative report, we uncover what took place when our intrepid hero took the beautiful bottle of Sharkwater to the Shark Cove on Saturday morning.
When Sharkman returned to the Cove he could hardly wait to show Lava Girl the beautiful blue bottle of Sharkwater. This tall, thin beauty of a bottle had a very soothing blue color with a Shark on it.
Naturally, Lava Girl loved the beautiful blue bottle and noted that it should be opened later so that the two could see what it tasted like.
Sharkman replied, in somewhat of a panicked voice, "No way! It is too beautiful to open and will reside right next to my autographed (by Bill Samuelson, president of Makers Mark) bottle of bourbon that I personally dipped in the red seal wax that now resides on my Shark Bar that has not been open!” (Lava Girl thinks that is stupid as well).
Lava Girl just apparently does not understand the art of displaying cherished booze. After all, Sharkman happens to be a Makers Mark Ambassador and bourbon connoisseur!
Lava Girl replied with a snide grin, "Oh, contraire, mon ami! Stingray would want you to drink it!"
As Sharkman pondered this predicament, wondering what Stingray would want him to do, the doorbell rang and it was none other than Rainman himself, stopping to say hello after dropping off "stuff" at his new abode in the Cove. Yes, you heard that correctly, Rainman is moving to the Cove! More on that bit of information in a later edition.
Sharkman immediately showed Rainman the beautiful blue bottle of Sharkwater and his immediate response was, "Wow, you're not going to open and drink that are you?"
Of course, Sharkman looked to Lava Girl and immediately said, "See!"
To which Lava Girl immediately said they were both crazy.
Sharkman thought to himself, “How can I drink that bottle? The light on my bar makes the blue bottle really pop out! I will be the envy of all the Shark Minions who come to the Cove for a nip! Even if I put colored water in the bottle after consumption, I may not be able to duplicate the Tahitian Blue that now resides there!?!
Oh, the humanity!”
Belo News reached out to Stingray and learned in a subsequent interview that he too, would not drink the bottle proving that all Minions think alike and that Lava Girl is also clearly correct.
Minions are all crazy……
For those of you interested in Sharkwater (which is 40 proof!) and where you can get it, you will have to ask Stingray. It is distilled and bottled in Temperance, Michigan. Sharkman has no idea what it taste likes but is sure looks cool so assumes it must also taste cool!
WAS THAT AN ANTELOPE?
Belo News
October 11, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – The attached video came across the Belo News editorial desk and we felt that in the interest of public safety, we should share it with the Mighty Minion Nation.
An apology to Cloud Girl if this brings on any flashbacks, but in the category of “can that really happen” take a look at this! Thank goodness there are no antelope at Ft. Custer!
We apologize for the short commercial that precedes the actual video.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2011/10/11/safrica-biker-antelope.maxcluer-com
Be safe out there and watch out for that antelope!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO!
WHERE ARE ALL THE MINIONS!
MOUNTAIN BIKE SEASON TO BEGIN THIS WEEKEND!
Belo News
October 1, 2011
By Stryker Guy
Galesburg, Mi. – It was supposed to be the final ride of the season for the Mighty Minions. The weather was crisp. The leaves were turning and there was excitement in the air for the final ride of this great riding season.
A small problem—no one showed.
Well, almost no one.
Stryker Guy and Hossman were there-loud and proud (actually not very loud and kind of cold). Where was the rest of the Minion Nation?
Answer: probably in bed, where Stryker Guy and Hossman should have been.
Stryker guy was hoping for a nice fall color tour, but his biking brother would have none of it as Hossman took off past the Klutch like a man possessed or someone who wanted to get back for “Jimmy Wilson’s Bass Fishing Tips” on ESPN.
The highlights were fast and furious. Hossman dropped Stryker Guy at the first stop sign. We tied at the second sign (I think). I blew him away by at least ¼ of a tire on the third and it was really pretty boring the rest of the way.
Lots of interesting discussion about sports, kids, tattoos, piercings and favorite colors.
No coffee was to be had by either of the warriors. We voted each other Rider of the Year for being dumb enough to actually show up for the final ride.
Respectfully submitted, James N. Heath, aka Stryker Guy, Rider of the Year 2011
MOUNTAIN BIKE SEASON TO BEGIN THIS WEEKEND!
Belo News
October 1, 2011
By Stryker Guy
Galesburg, Mi. – It was supposed to be the final ride of the season for the Mighty Minions. The weather was crisp. The leaves were turning and there was excitement in the air for the final ride of this great riding season.
A small problem—no one showed.
Well, almost no one.
Stryker Guy and Hossman were there-loud and proud (actually not very loud and kind of cold). Where was the rest of the Minion Nation?
Answer: probably in bed, where Stryker Guy and Hossman should have been.
Stryker guy was hoping for a nice fall color tour, but his biking brother would have none of it as Hossman took off past the Klutch like a man possessed or someone who wanted to get back for “Jimmy Wilson’s Bass Fishing Tips” on ESPN.
The highlights were fast and furious. Hossman dropped Stryker Guy at the first stop sign. We tied at the second sign (I think). I blew him away by at least ¼ of a tire on the third and it was really pretty boring the rest of the way.
Lots of interesting discussion about sports, kids, tattoos, piercings and favorite colors.
No coffee was to be had by either of the warriors. We voted each other Rider of the Year for being dumb enough to actually show up for the final ride.
Respectfully submitted, James N. Heath, aka Stryker Guy, Rider of the Year 2011
Editor's Note - A big thanks to Styker Guy for writing the blog this week and to both Styker Guy and Hossman for keeping the Minion streak of consecutive weekends together.
MOUNTAIN BIKING SEASON STARTS THIS SATURDAY!
Belo News
October 5, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Though the forecast for this Saturday seems to be much more conducive to road riding, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman needs some time on the mountain bike in preparation for his assault on the Iceman in just 4 weeks! In a special undercover investigation, the Belo News has learned that the Sharkman had an all time low mileage total for the month of September and his worrying about the Iceman may be well grounded!
Therefore, our intrepid hero moves to the trails of Fort Custer this very weekend and is looking for the Mighty Minion Nation to follow. At least those who ride mountain bikes!
Since the Sharkman also needs a lot of miles, he has decided to launch from the Koffee Klutch at 8:00 A.M. on Saturday, after he has a quick Kup of Koffee with some of the Saturday crowd. He will ride to Ft. Custer through the back door and ride to the trail head arriving around 8:30 A.M. for anyone who doesn’t want to ride from the Klutch.
Considering Sharkman’s September riding mile totals, he has graciously volunteered to lead the B group while any other riders can attack the Red Trail at speed. So if you haven’t ridden the trails in a while, are old and slow like Sharkman, or are a first timer, Sharkman will lead you while riders like Falcon can lead the A group. The Shark is too old to ride fast and it will be a very mellow ride.
MOUNTAIN BIKING SEASON STARTS THIS SATURDAY!
Belo News
October 5, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Though the forecast for this Saturday seems to be much more conducive to road riding, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman needs some time on the mountain bike in preparation for his assault on the Iceman in just 4 weeks! In a special undercover investigation, the Belo News has learned that the Sharkman had an all time low mileage total for the month of September and his worrying about the Iceman may be well grounded!
Therefore, our intrepid hero moves to the trails of Fort Custer this very weekend and is looking for the Mighty Minion Nation to follow. At least those who ride mountain bikes!
Since the Sharkman also needs a lot of miles, he has decided to launch from the Koffee Klutch at 8:00 A.M. on Saturday, after he has a quick Kup of Koffee with some of the Saturday crowd. He will ride to Ft. Custer through the back door and ride to the trail head arriving around 8:30 A.M. for anyone who doesn’t want to ride from the Klutch.
Considering Sharkman’s September riding mile totals, he has graciously volunteered to lead the B group while any other riders can attack the Red Trail at speed. So if you haven’t ridden the trails in a while, are old and slow like Sharkman, or are a first timer, Sharkman will lead you while riders like Falcon can lead the A group. The Shark is too old to ride fast and it will be a very mellow ride.
Ride Details:
Launch Time from the Koffee Klutch: 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Sharkman will be there around 7:20-7:30 A.M. to have a kup and sign autographs. All are welcome to join our hero.
Ride to trail head to meet any other riders.
Sharkman will be riding slow and looking for miles. He will probably be riding around the blue and yellow trails to just get miles and will ride for a couple of hours.
Everyone is welcome and can ride at their own pace.
Be there!
PEAK TO PEAK RACE INFORMATION
For those of you looking to get some more mountain bike racing in before the Iceman, you may want to consider the Peak 2 Peak race up north next week! Here is the link.
http://www.endomanpromotions.com/events/peak2peak.php
And finally, from the Chicago Tribune today and for those of you who’ve been texting while riding a bike (can that be done?) the following;
By John Byrne
Clout Street
12:34 p.m. CDT, October 5, 2011
Bicyclists soon will face the same restrictions against texting while riding in Chicago as motorists do while behind the wheel.The City Council today passed an ordinance prohibiting bicyclists from texting while moving. They also cannot make cell phone calls unless using a hands-free device under an ordinance that passed the council without dissent. The ban will go into effect next month.Fines will start at $20 for a first offense and go up to $100 for a third or subsequent violation. If an accident is involved, the fine could shoot up to $500.Sponsoring Ald. Margaret Laurino, 39th, said the issue is a matter of fairness as well as safety, since motorists already are prohibited from texting and making calls with hand-held devices in Chicago.
Copyright © 2011, Chicago Tribune
Go figure you need to legislate this kind of stuff.......
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
ALL BLACK TAKES IT ALL!
WHERE ARE ALL THE MINIONS!SHARKMAN’S RETURN?
NEW BEER JERSEY’S?
Belo News
September 24, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Stories had been rampant in cycling circles of the recent disappearance of our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, as he had been AWOL for a couple of weeks. However, not to be deterred, the irascible rider returned to the Minion Nation on Saturday only to find the population in the peloton continuing to decline. That time of year, we assume, but the numbers are way down for the KK-TdG Saturday adventure.
Sharkman was out in San Francisco on Sharklet Sitting duty (note photo of him visiting the Palo Alto Bike Shop!) and doing the Brew Ride from Arcadia to the Darkhorse Brewery in Marshal, Mi. (see photo with Lava Girl and Yeti Boy)
As our hero mounted his steed for the ride over to the start, it was a bit foggy and damp, but the sunrise looked promising as the Sharkman made his way to the start.
As he pedaled down from the Eaton Plant, he was a bit surprised as two young men with a striking resemblance to Bevis and Butthead approached on his left on a small motor scooter and scared the bejezus out of him when they shouted, “Do you know the way to Augusta?”
Since it was around 7:40 a.m., the road was abandoned, and one would think anyone on a motor scooter, with no helmets, hoodies and stocking caps on that road would know where Augusta would be, the Sharkman was a bit perplexed in addition to startled.
The two wayward riders slowed and asked the question a second time, to which our hero told them how to get to Augusta. We here at Belo News would like to know the rest of THAT story……
As Sharkman pulled into the start, Stingray was driving in followed by All Black and Stryker Guy on bikes. The Mighty Minion Nation, which was a total of 4 Mighty Minions, waited an extra couple of minutes to see who else might join on, but to no avail.
As the train headed north, the legendary Gazelle Girl jumped on to a roar from the four, “Gazelle Girl!” had joined on!
Sharkman took his place at the front for the first sprint, edging out Gazelle Girl and moved ahead to take his normal count of Minions at the G crossing. Yep, still only 5 Mighty Minions.
All Black, feeling quite “frisky” took the next sprint with Stryker Guy and Stingray on his wheel, as Sharkman shared his motor scooter story with Gazelle Girl at the back.
As the Nation moved up the col de Twin Lakes, the Sharkman could feel the lack of miles in his legs, but the Minions were all waiting for him at the top. There after, the ride became very mellow with each of the riders taking turns at the front and in sprints.
As the morning went on remarkably quick, the sun also started to shine and a glorious dawn broke over the course the Minions call their “field of dreams” known as the KK-TdG. Is there anything more beautiful than a fall, misty morning around Gull Lake? Is this a great country or what?
All that was left was the finish!
After the pace line worked well together coming to the G Spot, the riders lined up for the finale. All Black, still showing signs of “friskiness” went to the front for his impersonation of Tow Truck and/or Hossman. He worked so hard that Stryker Guy started to worry for him and went around him to take a turn at the pull. But All Black was not to be denied!
Gazelle Girl dropped off to get something to mail at the Post Office after checking to see who was stopping for koffee as the Mighty Minion Train bore down on the finish line.
This was one train that would not be derailed, with All Black acting as the locomotive, he chugged his way at the front to take the Nation home! All Black’s pull was so long and powerful, no Minion dared to make a move on him as he took his first win in 4 years!
Is this a great country or what?!?! It was a victory for America!!!
As the sun exploded over the Champs le Galesburg, the riders zipped up their jerseys and waved to the crowds as they went wild over All Blacks stunning victory!
The riders all stopped at the Klutch to help All Black celebrate his win and Gazelle Girl came in after picking up her envelope for the Post Office. All Black signed autographs and gave a press conference while Sharkman regaled the riders with stories of cross country childhood vacations in huge old cars before expressways!
The season seems to be winding down early this year and Sharkman reports that he will be moving to the mountain bike in a couple weeks in preparation for Iceman. Additionally, he will again be AWOL this Saturday as he leaves the Cove for a Golf Weekend with friends down south (yes, you heard that right, Sharkman also plays golf though not very well…..).
So this Saturday, October 1, 2011, will be the last road ride of the year as the peloton moves to Ft. Custer. Watch for more information on Ft. Custer rides in next week’s blog.
This Saturday, October 1, 2011
The weather is looking dry, but a bit chilly, but it is……
The last Minion Road Ride, Sans Sharkman unfortunately….
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
IT’S MOUNTAIN BIKE SEASON! OH, YEAH!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Ft. Custer Ride
Launch time and place TBD….watch the Belo News for more information!
As our hero mounted his steed for the ride over to the start, it was a bit foggy and damp, but the sunrise looked promising as the Sharkman made his way to the start.
As he pedaled down from the Eaton Plant, he was a bit surprised as two young men with a striking resemblance to Bevis and Butthead approached on his left on a small motor scooter and scared the bejezus out of him when they shouted, “Do you know the way to Augusta?”
Since it was around 7:40 a.m., the road was abandoned, and one would think anyone on a motor scooter, with no helmets, hoodies and stocking caps on that road would know where Augusta would be, the Sharkman was a bit perplexed in addition to startled.
The two wayward riders slowed and asked the question a second time, to which our hero told them how to get to Augusta. We here at Belo News would like to know the rest of THAT story……
As Sharkman pulled into the start, Stingray was driving in followed by All Black and Stryker Guy on bikes. The Mighty Minion Nation, which was a total of 4 Mighty Minions, waited an extra couple of minutes to see who else might join on, but to no avail.
As the train headed north, the legendary Gazelle Girl jumped on to a roar from the four, “Gazelle Girl!” had joined on!
Sharkman took his place at the front for the first sprint, edging out Gazelle Girl and moved ahead to take his normal count of Minions at the G crossing. Yep, still only 5 Mighty Minions.
All Black, feeling quite “frisky” took the next sprint with Stryker Guy and Stingray on his wheel, as Sharkman shared his motor scooter story with Gazelle Girl at the back.
As the Nation moved up the col de Twin Lakes, the Sharkman could feel the lack of miles in his legs, but the Minions were all waiting for him at the top. There after, the ride became very mellow with each of the riders taking turns at the front and in sprints.
As the morning went on remarkably quick, the sun also started to shine and a glorious dawn broke over the course the Minions call their “field of dreams” known as the KK-TdG. Is there anything more beautiful than a fall, misty morning around Gull Lake? Is this a great country or what?
All that was left was the finish!
After the pace line worked well together coming to the G Spot, the riders lined up for the finale. All Black, still showing signs of “friskiness” went to the front for his impersonation of Tow Truck and/or Hossman. He worked so hard that Stryker Guy started to worry for him and went around him to take a turn at the pull. But All Black was not to be denied!
Gazelle Girl dropped off to get something to mail at the Post Office after checking to see who was stopping for koffee as the Mighty Minion Train bore down on the finish line.
This was one train that would not be derailed, with All Black acting as the locomotive, he chugged his way at the front to take the Nation home! All Black’s pull was so long and powerful, no Minion dared to make a move on him as he took his first win in 4 years!
Is this a great country or what?!?! It was a victory for America!!!
As the sun exploded over the Champs le Galesburg, the riders zipped up their jerseys and waved to the crowds as they went wild over All Blacks stunning victory!
The riders all stopped at the Klutch to help All Black celebrate his win and Gazelle Girl came in after picking up her envelope for the Post Office. All Black signed autographs and gave a press conference while Sharkman regaled the riders with stories of cross country childhood vacations in huge old cars before expressways!
The season seems to be winding down early this year and Sharkman reports that he will be moving to the mountain bike in a couple weeks in preparation for Iceman. Additionally, he will again be AWOL this Saturday as he leaves the Cove for a Golf Weekend with friends down south (yes, you heard that right, Sharkman also plays golf though not very well…..).
So this Saturday, October 1, 2011, will be the last road ride of the year as the peloton moves to Ft. Custer. Watch for more information on Ft. Custer rides in next week’s blog.
This Saturday, October 1, 2011
The weather is looking dry, but a bit chilly, but it is……
The last Minion Road Ride, Sans Sharkman unfortunately….
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
IT’S MOUNTAIN BIKE SEASON! OH, YEAH!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Ft. Custer Ride
Launch time and place TBD….watch the Belo News for more information!
Come on out and help Sharkman get back into shape!
LOOKING FOR A BEER JERSEY?
Belo News
September 28, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – Our “some times” Minion, Da Yoop, sent us a link to some really cool Beer Bike Jersey’s. For those Minions who are tired of wearing another Oberon Jersey next year, and are looking for some fun and interesting beer jerseys, we’ve got the link for you! Click on the site and wow the Minions on the next Beer Jersey Day!
http://bicycle-gifts.com/jersey.htm
THE MINIONS NEXT ADVENTURE RACE?
Belo News
September 28, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – Speaking of fun….we were speaking of fun, weren’t we? Theses links will take you on a wild ride that we are thinking the Minions might want to go on!
Enjoy!
Trikes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRD8AUg2ApE
Urban Mountain Biking in Chile
http://www.wimp.com/urbanchile/
LOOKING FOR A BEER JERSEY?
Belo News
September 28, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – Our “some times” Minion, Da Yoop, sent us a link to some really cool Beer Bike Jersey’s. For those Minions who are tired of wearing another Oberon Jersey next year, and are looking for some fun and interesting beer jerseys, we’ve got the link for you! Click on the site and wow the Minions on the next Beer Jersey Day!
http://bicycle-gifts.com/jersey.htm
THE MINIONS NEXT ADVENTURE RACE?
Belo News
September 28, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – Speaking of fun….we were speaking of fun, weren’t we? Theses links will take you on a wild ride that we are thinking the Minions might want to go on!
Enjoy!
Trikes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRD8AUg2ApE
Urban Mountain Biking in Chile
http://www.wimp.com/urbanchile/
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
What was 4, then 8 and ended in 6??
Answer: The Minion Ride last Saturday!
Belo News
September 17, 2011
Reporter: Stryker Guy
Galesburg, Mi. - The “lonely” Stryker Guy navigated through the dark woods to the Minion meeting spot only to find Brewman dressed for the cold, circling the parking lot. Toast emerged from behind the school building (must have been checking the architecture). Out of nowhere popped Squeaky in his Mariachis outfit. The band of four looked, hoped, waited for others, but that was it and off we went.
Past the Klutch, the throngs waiting for the peleton were a little surprised to see only four riders ready to attack the course. After discussing how hard (easy) we were going to go, we ran into Gazelle Girl and Falcon with his headlamp. Somehow we knew the pace would pick up.
We were assured of this when Dutch joined the group somewhere before the first sprint.
Squeaky won the sprint by a tire length, but that was to be his last hurrah as the parachute jacket and matching pants outfit started to take its toll on the Squeaker.
The few and proud attacked the Col de Twin Lakes with their usual tenacity and sprinted to the next stop. By this time Squeaky looked like Snoopy at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. We were surprised he was able to stay on his bike and not float over the top of us.
Falcon began a series of kicking everyone’s butt on every sprint as the boys and girl decided he was too tough and we were too hung over.
Danimal joined the crowd at the Country Club claiming something about forgetting what time it started and that he already did most of the ride…we of course made him get out and pull for the next 7 miles as punishment.
Unfortunately Squeaky dropped off because he forgot to put his ankle weights on along with the parachute outfit.
Eventually Danimal dropped at Frona’s to head back to work a bit upset that he had to pull the entire way.
After another Falcon win at the G spot (is that what it’s called?) the group of six headed for the last leg of the course. Stryker guy (I have to put my name in since I am writing this) pulled up the final hill knowing full well that he would get passed like a kidney stone shortly. He was not disappointed as everyone blew by him like he was fixing a tire including an 85 year old grandmother with a basket on the front of her bike.
Not sure who made it to the Klutch—no more than five unless the grandmother showed up.
Editors Note - Thanks Stryker Guy for filling in and well done!
The Sharkman Returns this Saturday!
Yes, the Sharkman returns this Saturday, so you will want to be there to see how much weight he has put on and witness how badly he has fallen out of shape!
Saturday, 24, 2011
Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - Sharp!
Be there!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
RAINED OUT?!
NO WAY!Belo News
September 10, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – The big question in cycling circles this past week has been, “did anyone ride last week?”
Early Saturday morning, our intrepid hero got an email from Falcon asking if he was going to ride. Since Sharkman was in McHenry Illinois, he certainly wasn’t riding (obviously, Falcon is not reading the Belo News! What is that all about?). He also realized that the only times he gets emails like that is when it is raining (or snowing)!
Later that same day, Sharkman sent out a couple of emails asking if anyone had ridden, but everyone said it was raining too hard and they did not go to the start. If he sends out a mass email, he usually gets people telling him untrue stories like they rode and won and yadda, yadda, yadda…….
However, today Brewman sent the attached emails and it was learned that Wolf King, Bison, Brewman, Ridley Cross Guy and Brewman and a fifth rider who Brewman did not know by name, showed up to ride in the rain!
Oh, the Minions are a Mighty Nation! (Mighty crazy!)
Here is the email exchange that took place with Brewman and Belo News as he reported in on the cyclocross season;
Email from Brewman;
The Kisscross season opened Sunday at Plaster Creek Park in Grand Rapids. It was a warm and sunny day, a great start to the season. The course was fast and flowing. Some tight turns, a little sand, some short steep climbs, barricades and a long flight of stairs. Addictively painful event. All worth it with a Founder’s Porter ice cream float at the finish! Remember – Sunday October 2, 2011 – Kisscross at Markin Glen park in Kalamazoo.
Photo: http://www.jhkunnenphoto.com/p880988820/e9bc8b2c
Return email from Belo News;
Thanks! We will post this at the site.
I am assuming last Saturday got rained out. Everyone I've asked said they didn't go, but usually someone does show up. Do you know if anyone rode?
Brewman;
Yes there were 5 hearty Minions! Wolf King, Bison, The Ridley cross bike guy, Brewman and one other ( he has a tattoo on his calf). I am not sure who had podium spots as I peeled off on DE Avenue after we crossed M-89.
Belo News;
Was the tattoo an ironman symbol? That would be.....Ironman. The only other tattoo I'm aware of is Wildman, who also has an Ironman symbol, but a different one....
Was it raining for most of the ride?
Brewman;
It must have been Ironman, it was not Wildman. It rained pretty steady for a little over half the ride. It did stop but was still grey and wet roads. At least it was fairly warm. No one wore any sissy rain jackets.
Sissy Jackets? Do Minions wear “Sissy Jackets?” We don’t think so, but we do know what Brewman is talking about!
So the Mighty Minion Nation did ride….or at least some of them did.
That is all we know and we can thank Brewman for this detailed report!
Where else can you get this type of in-depth cycle reporting?
Sharkman is gone again this weekend but will be back on the 24th!
The season is drawing to a rapid close and you won't want to miss another ride!
The Nation will ride on!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
OBERON WINS AGAIN!
BREWMAN TAKES BEST BEER JERSEY! 
WHERE’S THE KOFFEE!
Belo News
September 3, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – Another fantastic Saturday morning greeted our hero as he launched from the Shark Cove along with his trusty side kick, Nikeboy. Excitement had been building all week about “Beer Jersey Day” and the Sharkman was all decked out in his Oberon Jersey, his Summer Sun Socks and was ready to ride.
About half way to the start, the two riders heard a clicking in the back tire of Nikeboy's ride and the two legends pulled over to investigate. It seemed a “fish hook” had become lodged in Nikeboy’s tire!
A fish hook?
Yes, and not only was getting a fish hook in your tire a bit unusual, considering they were some distance from any large bodies of water, but it was a HUGE fish hook!
Was someone trying to hook our hero, the intrepid Sharkman? Such strange goings on!
Being the expert on all things “fish” that the Sharkman is, he immediately assisted in removing the barbed hook from the tire, only to catch his finger on the barb, causing some bleeding to our hero. Nikeboy, realizing that it might take a while to change the tire and being concerned about future flats with no spare, told our hero to ride on to the start without him. Dripping blood on the road, our hero swam on alone!
When Sharkman arrived at the start, the beer jerseys were already lining up and it was apparent that Oberon would win the day. As a matter of fact, at last count 9 Oberon Jersey’s were in attendance and they represented 2007-2011 (see photo)!
However, the best beer jersey went to the Dogfish Beer worn by the legendary Brewman himself! Come on, who else would win a Beer Jersey contest? Is this a great country or what?
Brewman was immediately named the winner of the best jersey not only because it was a cool jersey, but because the Sharkman liked the way it looked like a shark on the front & back (see photo).
After the press took a number of start photos, the Skipper launched 26 riders through Galesburg, past the Klutch and out, north of town. As the Mighty Minion Nation chugged past the Klutch, the errant Wolf King in his now customary Illini Kit joined on and north of town, Gazelle Girl, taking a weekend off from the party circuit, jumped on the fast moving train.
Sharkman re-secured his opening sprint and did his usual count at the G Ave. crossing and the crowd was now at 29 riders. Kid Doster jumped on later and it is guestimated (guestimate is a word the Sharkman made up because so many riders are jumping on and off the ride, it is hard to get an accurate number of riders) that the peloton was in the 30 range for the vast majority of the ride.
In the Country Club section, Chico again moved out to take the pull and took the speed way up as the peloton splintered up to the Rt. 43 sprint.
As the Mighty Minion Nation rambled through the inlet, Wrong Way followed Elwood past the D Ave. turn, confirming his name, Wrong Way, and had to hustle to catch back on to the Nation.
(Editors Note - Of course, Wrong Way could be forgiven for his behavior as he had spent the previous evening with the Sharkman and wives at a bread and beer soirée and had made an entire tour (actually two tours) of the beer world before retreating for the evening. As all good Minions should know, a Beer World Tour is when there are German Pilsners, Belgium wheat’s, British Stouts, etc. and you try every single one…..twice or more! Sharkman was smart enough to stop the tour in Britain after one trip around the world and a couple “Two and Out Stouts” and retreated to the Cove for the evening…..it has been reported he slept very well…….)
After the Digital Divide, Sharkman launched out to start the pace line and quickly turned it over to the fast moving train of riders.
At the GGG crossing, Sharkman and Hossman went to the front and took turns early in trying to get the Nation to spread out. Chico also came through and took the speed up considerably to the final hill before the descent to the finish.
Some time Minion Joe Pa (until he get’s a better Minion name) took off with the sun shining on his Stryker Team Kit (no, Stryker is not a brewery, Bunkie). Falcon and B-Rod and a cast of thousands trailed to the finish!
Final ride statistics, again in meters, from Wolf King;
Your Performance on the trip started on: Sep 3, 2011 8:05 AM
Trip time: 01:19:41
Trip distance: 44.6 km
Trip calories: 1163 kcal
Average speed: 33.6 km/h
Maximum speed: 166.9 km/h
Climbed altitude: 115 m
The Klutch was again, ROCKING and a record attendance created quite a back up in the Koffee line. Minions had to fight with the paparazzi and tofosi to find a seat as the Koffee ran short and the Minion Nation was kept waiting for their second kups of brew! Even Bissell Boy, who was errant at the start, showed up to score yet another Oberon Jersey in the peloton! Viva Oberon!
The party atmosphere at the Klutch kept things jumping for quite a while as Sharkman shared that he had gotten an email from Bullet Bob reporting that the Catlike Whisper helmet can now be purchased on line in the U.S. and in U.S. DOLLARS!
“What!” Said Zickman, decked out in his Catlike helmet and some obscure Brewery Jersey! Yes, you can now buy the Catlike in U.S. Dollars and you too can look as cool as the Zickman! Just ask Bullet Bob!
The Sharkman also announced that he would be on Grandparent duty the next two weekends and would miss the rides, but the rides will go on!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
In remembrance of 9/11, Minions are asked to wear their Red, White and Blue kit if they have it! Show your love on the good old U.S. of A. land of the free, home of the brave and roads of the Mighty Minion Nation!
Ride safe!
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT
Belo News
September 6, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – By agreement, the Tuesday Night Ride was moved up to 5:45 p.m. to make sure there was enough light. Rainman, Wrong Way, Airman, Pirate, Stingray and Sharkman were all on hand to make an attempt on the record set the previous week. Winds were cool and strong out of the North, Northwest, but it seemed as though it was in the riders face in whatever direction they turned. Final average speed was clocked at 21.3 mph and a bit off the previous week’s record. The Minions all agreed it must have been because the Skipper was not in attendance!
This ride moves to 5:30 p.m. for the remainder of what is left of the season, so it you want to do a great pace line work out, be ready to launch from the Kellogg HQ Visitor Lot at 5:30 p.m. next Tuesday!
NOW FOR SOME BIKE HUMOR…….
Average speed: 33.6 km/h
Maximum speed: 166.9 km/h
Climbed altitude: 115 m
The Klutch was again, ROCKING and a record attendance created quite a back up in the Koffee line. Minions had to fight with the paparazzi and tofosi to find a seat as the Koffee ran short and the Minion Nation was kept waiting for their second kups of brew! Even Bissell Boy, who was errant at the start, showed up to score yet another Oberon Jersey in the peloton! Viva Oberon!
The party atmosphere at the Klutch kept things jumping for quite a while as Sharkman shared that he had gotten an email from Bullet Bob reporting that the Catlike Whisper helmet can now be purchased on line in the U.S. and in U.S. DOLLARS!
“What!” Said Zickman, decked out in his Catlike helmet and some obscure Brewery Jersey! Yes, you can now buy the Catlike in U.S. Dollars and you too can look as cool as the Zickman! Just ask Bullet Bob!
The Sharkman also announced that he would be on Grandparent duty the next two weekends and would miss the rides, but the rides will go on!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
In remembrance of 9/11, Minions are asked to wear their Red, White and Blue kit if they have it! Show your love on the good old U.S. of A. land of the free, home of the brave and roads of the Mighty Minion Nation!
Ride safe!
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT
Belo News
September 6, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – By agreement, the Tuesday Night Ride was moved up to 5:45 p.m. to make sure there was enough light. Rainman, Wrong Way, Airman, Pirate, Stingray and Sharkman were all on hand to make an attempt on the record set the previous week. Winds were cool and strong out of the North, Northwest, but it seemed as though it was in the riders face in whatever direction they turned. Final average speed was clocked at 21.3 mph and a bit off the previous week’s record. The Minions all agreed it must have been because the Skipper was not in attendance!
This ride moves to 5:30 p.m. for the remainder of what is left of the season, so it you want to do a great pace line work out, be ready to launch from the Kellogg HQ Visitor Lot at 5:30 p.m. next Tuesday!
NOW FOR SOME BIKE HUMOR…….
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
JAIME SINGS FOR THE MINIONS!
IRONMAN TAKES THE TAPE! 
ZICKMAN WINS ALL THE STYLE POINTS!
BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
Belo News
August 27, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – As another fantastic dawn broke over the Shark Cove; the Sharkman was surprised at how dark it was in the Shark Cove bedroom as he shook the sleep from his blood shot eyes and pushed back the shark bedspread. Apparently fall is approaching and with it, the retreat of those long daylight hours. Oh, the humanity…….None the less, our intrepid hero padded out to start the Shark Coffee Maker and began his preparation for the ride.
Many Minions have asked what fuels our hero’s epic ability to ride long and fast and be a full time super hero like he is. Is there a secret source to his deeds of wonder you ask? Though the Sharkman tends to keep his training secrets,….. well secret, he was willing to share his pre-race breakfast with us here at Belo News.
The Sharkman starts his pre-race preparation with one strawberry frosted Pop Tart (un-toasted…being the tough shark that he is, our hero eats his Pop Tarts raw.) followed by three prunes and then washes it all down with a cup or two of his special shark blend coffee after grinding the beans and using his beloved Bunn Shark Coffee Maker.
Eating only one Pop Tart demonstrates his Zen like discipline to his nutritional regiment!
MMMMmmmm…. makes the editors of the Belo News mouths water just thinking about it! But we digress…..
Fired up on Pop Tarts and prunes, the old Shark was greeted by none other than Nikeboy as he launched from the Cove. It had been a while since Nikeboy had been on the ride and they had a lot of catching up to do on the ride over.
Once again, a large turn out was waiting at the start, with two new riders, Rod and DeAnn Auton (nick names to be determined) jumped on. They had heard about the ride through Cheddarhead and wanted to see what all the excitement was about. Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Rod and DeAnn, glad to have you aboard!
Another rider who claimed to have ridden before but the Sharkman could not remember, was dubbed Elwood because of his strong resemblance to the famous Blues Brother. After getting the name he promptly stated, “I’m on a mission from God!”
Welcome back to the Nation Elwood! Also joining on was a new rider on a Redline Cyclo Cross bike herein known as Redline Guy. It must have been a cyclo cross day as Brewman, who has been gone the past few weeks, came in on a fine looking Cannondale cyclo cross bike.
But no on could out do the sartorial splendor of the Zickman! Who can forget the fashion statement he made with the white World Champion kit a few weeks back. This week, he was the first on his block to be sporting the Catlike Whisper Plus Helmet! For those who are not IN the know, this helmet has been coveted here in the U.S. as one of the lightest, coolest lids you can buy, but you can only buy in Europe.
Until now!
Europe, schmurope! Zickman waits for no one! He ordered his on line in Euro's and now is the first in the peloton to own one of these beauties! (see photo) Heck, most Minions don't even know what a Euro is!?!
Now Belo News wants to see him wear the Catwhisper with his World Champion kit!
Oh, a Minion living the code!
All together now Minions, “If you can’t be good, look good!” Well our Zickman is both!
One minute before the Shark clock stroked 8:00 A.M. Wolf King pulled into the parking lot. Fortunately for him, Danimal had come in late and the peloton was willing to wait for him, but not for Wolf King. This gave the Wolf a couple extra minutes and additionally, Bling Girl had a flat on the way in to the ride and she and Stryker Guy were working on it just up the road. So the peloton was delayed a few minutes.
With the Skipper gone for the week, the Pirate took over and led the 24 riders out at the start and past the Klutch where the usual crowd was waiting to wave on their hero’s. This all gave time for Wolf King, Bling Girl, Stryker Guy and Sharkman, who had gone back for them, time to catch back on to the peloton.
As the mighty Minion Nation moved north, Gazelle Girl joined on with her Media Representative, Ironman at her side. The now 26 riders moved along with B-Rod leading our hero out for the honorary Sharkman first sprint. The count at the G ave. crossing was a confirmed 26 riders including the B group led by Cheddarhead.
As the group moved on to the col de Twin Lakes, the peloton splintered on the climb only to come back together at the next stop sign.
After the Yorkville Church turn, Chico came to the front and put on a huge pull to the Rt. 43 stop sign. As the riders circled Gull Lake, there were many runners and bikers who were partaking of a club run/bike around the lake. The Minions commented at the post race activity that it was great to see so many people out and about on the roads around Gull Lake. Is this a great country or what? It was just another fantastic day on the roads the Minion Nation knows as the KK-TdG field of dreams!
As the Minions ascended the col de Norte, there was a water/rest stop for the runners. Wolf King attempted to avail himself with whatever they had to offer. However, they did not have any Pop Tarts or Doritos so he just asked for water…..
As the riders sprinted to the inlet stop ahead, B-Rod, who was leading at the finish, suffered a flat tire to his front wheel. In unison, the Minions pulled over to wait as B-Rod did his Indy 500 pit routine and promptly fixed the flat and was ready to go in quick order.
The pace again picked up south of the Digital Divide with Sharkman starting the peloton and Redline Guy taking over to lead out the train. As the Nation bore down on the GGG sprint, Sharkman made a move from the back only to have it covered by Ironman and Zickman, who was still looking good in that Cat Whisper Plus Helmet!
Once again, worried that the large sprint finish might be dangerous, Sharkman took off with Redline Guy right behind him. When he pulled off and looked back, it was just the two of them and he told Redline Guy to keep going. Before long, the gap was closed and the Clydesdale of finishers, the Hossman, pulled through to take the pull to yet another level!
After a humongous pull, the Pirate, Redline and Sharkman again found themselves at the front and it was Sharkman that pulled to the top of the final hill before losing whatever gas he had left in his tank…..(where is a Tow Truck when you need it).
Alas, there was no gap behind our hero and the rambling herd was stampeding to the finish that lay ahead!
As the horde of rabid riders, hungry for the win, bore down on the finish line like Wolf King on a bag of Doritos, the Sharkman could only watch as the riders began to line up.
There were some riders who did not hold their lines (the Commissioner of Miniondom wants to again remind riders how important it is that if you are boxed in at the finish you cannot try to move out across riders behind you.) but the group held together as Ironman out sprinted Wolf King with B-Rod grabbing the final spot on the podium.
From Wolf Kings iPhone App;
Your Performance on the trip started on: Aug 27, 2011 8:03 AM
Trip time: 01:25:55
Trip distance: 46.4 km
Trip calories: 1421 kcal
Average speed: 32.5 km/h
Maximum speed: 104.7 km/h
Climbed altitude: 531 m
The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg and the Klutch was ROCKING as our hero’s entered the hallowed halls of Koffeedom.
It may have been close to a record number of Minions who stopped for their fix of Koffee and in appreciation, the Minions were serenaded by none other than the Barista herself, the famous Jaime!
As you can see by the photo, she entertained the Nation with one of the songs from her upcoming role at the Kalamazoo Civic Theater and she got a rousing round of applause as she belted out the tune! Sharkman was heard to say, “Where else can you get entertainment like this? Eh?” This is a great country!
What will happen this week? Come to ride and find out! There are only a few weeks left of the 2011 season! (Can that be so? Oh, yes, Bunkie!)
It is Labor Day weekend and what do people do on Labor Day? Rest from their labors! And how do Minions rest from their labors? By having a cold adult beverage, that’s how!
As American’s, we like beer on holiday weekends! So this Saturday has been designated as “Beer Jersey Day!” Wear your favorite Beer Jersey for the holiday!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
We are changing a long time Minion Motto! As we all know, the famous Minion motto’s is that “we will leave no Minion behind!”
But from now on, it is “we leave no Minion behind unless they are late for the start!”
Be there! On time!
INSIDE TRAINING INFORMATION REVEALED!
Belo News
August 27, 2011
Richland, Mi. – In a special Belo News investigative report, our reports have learned that the famous Tow Truck, who has had his season shortened by shoulder surgery, was rumored to have purchased an indoor trainer with watt measuring capability. Subsequent investigative efforts by one or our undercover reporters has confirmed this information to be true and everyone can live in fear that the always strong Tow Truck is now getting even stronger during his recovery.
To which Belo News can only say, “Oh, the humanity!”
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT
Average Speed Record Shattered!
Belo News
August 30, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – On a cool and calm night, the Tuesday night Minion Chain Gang took their average speed to new heights! Rainman, Airman, Wrong Way, All Black, the Pirate and Sharkman launched from the Kellogg HQ Visitor lot promptly at 6:00 p.m. The pace line was met by the Skipper on River Road as the rambling train approached Augusta. Reaching speeds of 27 mph in the pace line, the Minions brought it home with a new season record of 21.7 mph! It was a team victory for America!
If you like pace line work at high speeds this is the ride for you! Tuesday nights at 6 p.m. from the Kellogg HQ Headquarters! Strap yourself in for one heck of a ride, Bunkie!
SPEAKING OF POP TARTS……
Belo News
August 30, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – We are all aware of the Sharkman’s passion for his beloved Pop Tarts, but little did we know it was one of the top three things that is purchased in cases of emergencies. Obviously, in addition to its nutritional value, Pop Tarts offer comfort in times of stress. Everyone needs to believe in something, so the Editors of Belo News believe they’ll have another Pop Tart!
Viva Pop Tarts!
http://abcnews.go.com/US/hurricanes/hurricane-irene-pop-tarts-top-list-hurricane-purchases/story?id=14393602
ZICKMAN WINS ALL THE STYLE POINTS!
BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
Belo News
August 27, 2011
Galesburg, Mi. – As another fantastic dawn broke over the Shark Cove; the Sharkman was surprised at how dark it was in the Shark Cove bedroom as he shook the sleep from his blood shot eyes and pushed back the shark bedspread. Apparently fall is approaching and with it, the retreat of those long daylight hours. Oh, the humanity…….None the less, our intrepid hero padded out to start the Shark Coffee Maker and began his preparation for the ride.
Many Minions have asked what fuels our hero’s epic ability to ride long and fast and be a full time super hero like he is. Is there a secret source to his deeds of wonder you ask? Though the Sharkman tends to keep his training secrets,….. well secret, he was willing to share his pre-race breakfast with us here at Belo News.
The Sharkman starts his pre-race preparation with one strawberry frosted Pop Tart (un-toasted…being the tough shark that he is, our hero eats his Pop Tarts raw.) followed by three prunes and then washes it all down with a cup or two of his special shark blend coffee after grinding the beans and using his beloved Bunn Shark Coffee Maker.
Eating only one Pop Tart demonstrates his Zen like discipline to his nutritional regiment!
MMMMmmmm…. makes the editors of the Belo News mouths water just thinking about it! But we digress…..
Fired up on Pop Tarts and prunes, the old Shark was greeted by none other than Nikeboy as he launched from the Cove. It had been a while since Nikeboy had been on the ride and they had a lot of catching up to do on the ride over.
Once again, a large turn out was waiting at the start, with two new riders, Rod and DeAnn Auton (nick names to be determined) jumped on. They had heard about the ride through Cheddarhead and wanted to see what all the excitement was about. Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Rod and DeAnn, glad to have you aboard!
Another rider who claimed to have ridden before but the Sharkman could not remember, was dubbed Elwood because of his strong resemblance to the famous Blues Brother. After getting the name he promptly stated, “I’m on a mission from God!”
Welcome back to the Nation Elwood! Also joining on was a new rider on a Redline Cyclo Cross bike herein known as Redline Guy. It must have been a cyclo cross day as Brewman, who has been gone the past few weeks, came in on a fine looking Cannondale cyclo cross bike.
But no on could out do the sartorial splendor of the Zickman! Who can forget the fashion statement he made with the white World Champion kit a few weeks back. This week, he was the first on his block to be sporting the Catlike Whisper Plus Helmet! For those who are not IN the know, this helmet has been coveted here in the U.S. as one of the lightest, coolest lids you can buy, but you can only buy in Europe.
Until now!
Europe, schmurope! Zickman waits for no one! He ordered his on line in Euro's and now is the first in the peloton to own one of these beauties! (see photo) Heck, most Minions don't even know what a Euro is!?!
Now Belo News wants to see him wear the Catwhisper with his World Champion kit!
Oh, a Minion living the code!
All together now Minions, “If you can’t be good, look good!” Well our Zickman is both!
One minute before the Shark clock stroked 8:00 A.M. Wolf King pulled into the parking lot. Fortunately for him, Danimal had come in late and the peloton was willing to wait for him, but not for Wolf King. This gave the Wolf a couple extra minutes and additionally, Bling Girl had a flat on the way in to the ride and she and Stryker Guy were working on it just up the road. So the peloton was delayed a few minutes.
With the Skipper gone for the week, the Pirate took over and led the 24 riders out at the start and past the Klutch where the usual crowd was waiting to wave on their hero’s. This all gave time for Wolf King, Bling Girl, Stryker Guy and Sharkman, who had gone back for them, time to catch back on to the peloton.
As the mighty Minion Nation moved north, Gazelle Girl joined on with her Media Representative, Ironman at her side. The now 26 riders moved along with B-Rod leading our hero out for the honorary Sharkman first sprint. The count at the G ave. crossing was a confirmed 26 riders including the B group led by Cheddarhead.
As the group moved on to the col de Twin Lakes, the peloton splintered on the climb only to come back together at the next stop sign.
After the Yorkville Church turn, Chico came to the front and put on a huge pull to the Rt. 43 stop sign. As the riders circled Gull Lake, there were many runners and bikers who were partaking of a club run/bike around the lake. The Minions commented at the post race activity that it was great to see so many people out and about on the roads around Gull Lake. Is this a great country or what? It was just another fantastic day on the roads the Minion Nation knows as the KK-TdG field of dreams!
As the Minions ascended the col de Norte, there was a water/rest stop for the runners. Wolf King attempted to avail himself with whatever they had to offer. However, they did not have any Pop Tarts or Doritos so he just asked for water…..
As the riders sprinted to the inlet stop ahead, B-Rod, who was leading at the finish, suffered a flat tire to his front wheel. In unison, the Minions pulled over to wait as B-Rod did his Indy 500 pit routine and promptly fixed the flat and was ready to go in quick order.
The pace again picked up south of the Digital Divide with Sharkman starting the peloton and Redline Guy taking over to lead out the train. As the Nation bore down on the GGG sprint, Sharkman made a move from the back only to have it covered by Ironman and Zickman, who was still looking good in that Cat Whisper Plus Helmet!
Once again, worried that the large sprint finish might be dangerous, Sharkman took off with Redline Guy right behind him. When he pulled off and looked back, it was just the two of them and he told Redline Guy to keep going. Before long, the gap was closed and the Clydesdale of finishers, the Hossman, pulled through to take the pull to yet another level!
After a humongous pull, the Pirate, Redline and Sharkman again found themselves at the front and it was Sharkman that pulled to the top of the final hill before losing whatever gas he had left in his tank…..(where is a Tow Truck when you need it).
Alas, there was no gap behind our hero and the rambling herd was stampeding to the finish that lay ahead!
As the horde of rabid riders, hungry for the win, bore down on the finish line like Wolf King on a bag of Doritos, the Sharkman could only watch as the riders began to line up.
There were some riders who did not hold their lines (the Commissioner of Miniondom wants to again remind riders how important it is that if you are boxed in at the finish you cannot try to move out across riders behind you.) but the group held together as Ironman out sprinted Wolf King with B-Rod grabbing the final spot on the podium.
From Wolf Kings iPhone App;
Your Performance on the trip started on: Aug 27, 2011 8:03 AM
Trip time: 01:25:55
Trip distance: 46.4 km
Trip calories: 1421 kcal
Average speed: 32.5 km/h
Maximum speed: 104.7 km/h
Climbed altitude: 531 m
The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg and the Klutch was ROCKING as our hero’s entered the hallowed halls of Koffeedom.
It may have been close to a record number of Minions who stopped for their fix of Koffee and in appreciation, the Minions were serenaded by none other than the Barista herself, the famous Jaime!
As you can see by the photo, she entertained the Nation with one of the songs from her upcoming role at the Kalamazoo Civic Theater and she got a rousing round of applause as she belted out the tune! Sharkman was heard to say, “Where else can you get entertainment like this? Eh?” This is a great country!
What will happen this week? Come to ride and find out! There are only a few weeks left of the 2011 season! (Can that be so? Oh, yes, Bunkie!)
It is Labor Day weekend and what do people do on Labor Day? Rest from their labors! And how do Minions rest from their labors? By having a cold adult beverage, that’s how!
As American’s, we like beer on holiday weekends! So this Saturday has been designated as “Beer Jersey Day!” Wear your favorite Beer Jersey for the holiday!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
We are changing a long time Minion Motto! As we all know, the famous Minion motto’s is that “we will leave no Minion behind!”
But from now on, it is “we leave no Minion behind unless they are late for the start!”
Be there! On time!
INSIDE TRAINING INFORMATION REVEALED!
Belo News
August 27, 2011
Richland, Mi. – In a special Belo News investigative report, our reports have learned that the famous Tow Truck, who has had his season shortened by shoulder surgery, was rumored to have purchased an indoor trainer with watt measuring capability. Subsequent investigative efforts by one or our undercover reporters has confirmed this information to be true and everyone can live in fear that the always strong Tow Truck is now getting even stronger during his recovery.
To which Belo News can only say, “Oh, the humanity!”
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT
Average Speed Record Shattered!
Belo News
August 30, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – On a cool and calm night, the Tuesday night Minion Chain Gang took their average speed to new heights! Rainman, Airman, Wrong Way, All Black, the Pirate and Sharkman launched from the Kellogg HQ Visitor lot promptly at 6:00 p.m. The pace line was met by the Skipper on River Road as the rambling train approached Augusta. Reaching speeds of 27 mph in the pace line, the Minions brought it home with a new season record of 21.7 mph! It was a team victory for America!
If you like pace line work at high speeds this is the ride for you! Tuesday nights at 6 p.m. from the Kellogg HQ Headquarters! Strap yourself in for one heck of a ride, Bunkie!
SPEAKING OF POP TARTS……
Belo News
August 30, 2011
Battle Creek, Mi. – We are all aware of the Sharkman’s passion for his beloved Pop Tarts, but little did we know it was one of the top three things that is purchased in cases of emergencies. Obviously, in addition to its nutritional value, Pop Tarts offer comfort in times of stress. Everyone needs to believe in something, so the Editors of Belo News believe they’ll have another Pop Tart!
Viva Pop Tarts!
http://abcnews.go.com/US/hurricanes/hurricane-irene-pop-tarts-top-list-hurricane-purchases/story?id=14393602
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