WHERE WERE YOU?

PERFECT WEATHER FOR CUSTER OPENER!

MINIONS WOW KOFFEE KLUTCH KROWD!

Belo News
October 8, 2011

Galesburg, Mi. – Was last Saturday a perfect day or what!

Anyone who is anyone in cycling circles was talking about the Mighty Minion Nation Mountain Bike Opening Day all of last week and Mother Nature delivered for those who made an appearance!

As our intrepid hero blew the dust off of his mountain bike and loaded it in the Sharkmovibe, he was wearing his new Stryker Jersey (see photo) and wondering if he needed arm warmers. As he checked the shark thermometer, and saw the balmy 58 Fahrenheit half way up the dorsal degree mark, he decided he would go sans arm warmers.

As Sharkman entered the Klutch, he did not see any other Minions, but the regulars were there and wanted to know why he and the Mighty Minion Nation weren’t riding! It appears that one of their Saturday morning rituals is to count the Minions as they go by to give Jamie, the famous Barista, a number to have koffee ready for the return!

They then invited the celebrity Shark to sit down and join them for their morning kup.

As Sharkman began to sign autographs and regale the fans with stories of his riding prowess, Brewman walked in, followed by Bissell Boy and Stingray, all ready for a kup and to ride the trails.

After well wishes, hugs and general adulation had been heaped on the four Minions they headed out the door and bumped into Don Chic, as long time reader of the blog, first time rider. Actually, he was a BB Minion (Before Blog) and had ridden with our hero years ago when the ride use to launch from the Cove. However, having twin kids and job changes, this was his first ride back with the Nation in years! Don Chic announced he was going to get a kup and drive to the trail head because his family was going to meet him later and ride as well! A family of mountain bikers!

When the four Minions arrived at the trail head, they were greeted by M.C. Hammer who was working with the Michigan Mountain Bike Association doing trail improvement. Danimal, Cannon, Falcon, Don Chic and Zickman were all ready to ride.

M.C. Hammer graciously agreed to take a photo and then Sharkman announced he was going to lead the B group and Bissell Boy responded that they were getting ready for Iceman and needed miles. Sharkman had not been on the mountain bike since January and was feeling just a bit tentative.

So the entire crew took off on the red trail with Falcon, Danimal and the Cannon taking the lead. When the group got to Eagle Lake, Bissell Boy split off with the B group of Stingray, Zickman, Brewman and Sharkman in tow.

The B Group did the blue loop and added in some of the side trails before heading back to the red and Cardiac Hill. Bissell Boy ascended the out of category climb like a mountain goat, dancing on the pedals as his tires ate up the hill, followed by Brewman, while Sharkman hit a rut and stopped the forward momentum of both Stingray and Zickman.

As the Nation moved around parts of the red and began heading into the sun, Sharkman got a bit too close to Brewmans rear wheel and could not see how close he was as the sun was so low and bright.

First the sound of knobby treads rubbing (sort of a sick sound), followed by quick left turn of Sharkmans handlebars as he hit the deck! OUCH!

No harm, no foul. Sharkman apologized for being so close to Brewman and immediately was back on his bike as if to say, “I meant to do that!”

As the B Group made the turn back to the blue trail, Don Chic caught on after Falcon, Cannon and Danimal had headed out. Don Chic rode back to the Ft. Custer back door with the group before heading back to meet his family for a ride.

Zickman, who had ridden to the trail head, rode back to the Klutch with Bissel Boy, Stingray and Sharkman and convinced them to join him for a kup before he rode his bike home.

There weren’t too many fans in the Klutch, but the boys of summer enjoyed, yet another bottomless kup as they discussed logistics for the Iceman and how great the weather has been.

Total miles from the Klutch and back, 26+. Sharkman reported his legs were burning!

You won’t want to miss next weeks ride even though Sharkman will again be AWOL! NOT AGAIN!

That’s right, Sharkman has a commitment for Saturday morning and will not be able to ride, however the ride (s) will go on! Yes, you heard that right as well….. there are rides in the plural that are scheduled this weekend!

Since Sharkman can’t ride on Saturday, and needs the miles, he is going to ride on Friday afternoon at 2 p.m. to make up for it! Yea for Summer Hours!

So here is the schedule!

Friday, October 14, 2011 – Ft. Custer Trail Head – 2:00 p.m. launch – SHARP!

Saturday, October 15, 2011 – Ft. Custer Trail Head – 8:30 a.m. launch – SHARP!

Be there one or both days! Is this a great country or what!


WHAT IS BLUE AND IS NEVER OPENED?

SHARKWATER!

Belo News
October 8, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – As many of you are aware, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, reached yet another milestone this past week. Yes, the old Shark got even older and had another birthday! He wants to extend his thank you to all those Minions who sent their well wishes!
Meanwhile, Stingray came across a really unique birthday gift that caused quite a stir in the Shark Cove and in this in-depth investigative report, we uncover what took place when our intrepid hero took the beautiful bottle of Sharkwater to the Shark Cove on Saturday morning.

When Sharkman returned to the Cove he could hardly wait to show Lava Girl the beautiful blue bottle of Sharkwater. This tall, thin beauty of a bottle had a very soothing blue color with a Shark on it.

Naturally, Lava Girl loved the beautiful blue bottle and noted that it should be opened later so that the two could see what it tasted like.

Sharkman replied, in somewhat of a panicked voice, "No way! It is too beautiful to open and will reside right next to my autographed (by Bill Samuelson, president of Makers Mark) bottle of bourbon that I personally dipped in the red seal wax that now resides on my Shark Bar that has not been open!” (Lava Girl thinks that is stupid as well).

Lava Girl just apparently does not understand the art of displaying cherished booze. After all, Sharkman happens to be a Makers Mark Ambassador and bourbon connoisseur!

Lava Girl replied with a snide grin, "Oh, contraire, mon ami! Stingray would want you to drink it!"

As Sharkman pondered this predicament, wondering what Stingray would want him to do, the doorbell rang and it was none other than Rainman himself, stopping to say hello after dropping off "stuff" at his new abode in the Cove. Yes, you heard that correctly, Rainman is moving to the Cove! More on that bit of information in a later edition.

Sharkman immediately showed Rainman the beautiful blue bottle of Sharkwater and his immediate response was, "Wow, you're not going to open and drink that are you?"

Of course, Sharkman looked to Lava Girl and immediately said, "See!"

To which Lava Girl immediately said they were both crazy.

Sharkman thought to himself, “How can I drink that bottle? The light on my bar makes the blue bottle really pop out! I will be the envy of all the Shark Minions who come to the Cove for a nip! Even if I put colored water in the bottle after consumption, I may not be able to duplicate the Tahitian Blue that now resides there!?!

Oh, the humanity!”

Belo News reached out to Stingray and learned in a subsequent interview that he too, would not drink the bottle proving that all Minions think alike and that Lava Girl is also clearly correct.

Minions are all crazy……

For those of you interested in Sharkwater (which is 40 proof!) and where you can get it, you will have to ask Stingray. It is distilled and bottled in Temperance, Michigan. Sharkman has no idea what it taste likes but is sure looks cool so assumes it must also taste cool!

WAS THAT AN ANTELOPE?

Belo News
October 11, 2011

Battle Creek, Mi. – The attached video came across the Belo News editorial desk and we felt that in the interest of public safety, we should share it with the Mighty Minion Nation.

An apology to Cloud Girl if this brings on any flashbacks, but in the category of “can that really happen” take a look at this! Thank goodness there are no antelope at Ft. Custer!

We apologize for the short commercial that precedes the actual video.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2011/10/11/safrica-biker-antelope.maxcluer-com

Be safe out there and watch out for that antelope!