 |
| Gazelle Girl makes the start two weeks in a row! |
MIGHTY
MINION NATION CONTINUES TO GROW!
GAZELLE
GIRL REACHES ECSTASY AT GGG SPOT SPRINT!
MINIONS
DO THE NATION PROUD AT WAM!
UNDERWEAR
IN THE PELOTON! WAIT, WHAT?
“IMPERSONATE
BISSELL BOY DAY” THIS SATURDAY ON SOUTH ROUTE!
Belo
News
July
26, 2014
 |
| Riders in shock as Gazelle Girl makes the start two weeks in a row! |
Shark
Cove, Mi. - It was another wild day in the peloton this past weekend
as another 35 plus riders hit the KK-TdG field of dreams on a picture
perfect morning!
As
dawn broke over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the
Sharkman making his way to the Shark Coffee maker preparing his
morning brew. Sharkman has come to love these cool Saturday mornings
and the great streak of weather the Nation has experienced this past
summer.
As
he mulled over whether to wear arm warmers or not, stepping into the drive, he saw Nikeboy
riding towards him in his usual well coordinated Liquigas Pro Team
Kit. This man always looks good!
 |
| B-Rod sans tube hose....... |
Mad
Dog jumped on shortly after the two hit the road and they headed over to the start.
As
they approached the Eaton Plant that signals their heading down into
Galesburg, they noticed a lone rider in Bissell Kit riding towards
them. It was none other than Bissell Boy, getting a few extra miles
in on his Pinerallo Time Trail bike. It has been learned that in a moment
of weakness, Bissell Boy has agreed to do a triathlon with his
daughter later this year and needs to get those extra miles in!
Riders
started pouring into the start for what looked like another big turn
out for the Nation.
Some
virgin Minions and returning Minions were in attendance, some who've
received a name and others who have not. Virgin Minion Todd had
returned and Sharkman promptly named him Wolfman. Another Minion, who
stated he hadn't ridden in the Nation for a while, was also back
whose name is Joe, but has not been named. Another CMS/Stryker rider
by the name of Ray was back as well as Craig. Welcome Minions one
and all! Hope we didn't miss anyone!
 |
| Hoosier Boy get's ready to rock! |
Virgin
Minion Dave Millar (no, not the pro) also joined on and was quickly
named Catfish by Gazelle Girl for his unique helmet buckles! Welcome
to the mighty Minion Nation Catfish!
The
Gull Lake contingent started rolling in led by Tow Truck on his very
nice “Ritchey” cross bike. Belo News had reported Tow Truck was riding
a new “LeMond” a couple of issues ago and wants to set the record
straight, so a photo of this sweet ride has been included in this
story and of course, Tow Truck gets his photo in Belo News. Very clever Tow Truck.
Is this a great country or what?!?
Is this a great country or what?!?
 |
| Nikeboy "styling" in his Liquigas Kit! |
As the Nation was lining up for photo's and autographs at the start, to every one's surprise, Gazelle Girl came rolling in! Immediately a shout of “Gazelle Girl” went up around the school yard as everyone was excited to see the “Sweetheart of the Peloton” get up early enough to make it to the start. After pulling up and posing for the obligatory photo, Gazelle Girl was quoted as stating she finally had an opportunity to wear her Bissell kit for Pro Jersey Day and wanted to show it off in the start photo!
Getting
stopped by the light in downtown Galesburg, allowed for the Nation to
wave to all their fans in the Klutch as well as Andrew who was
counting the riders.
As
the Nation headed north, Sharkman was moving up behind Bissell Boy
when his rear tire blew like a July 4th fireworks show.
B-Rod and Sharkman were right behind the legendary rider when it blew
and they both ducked as though someone fired a shotgun at them!
The
nation pulled over while B-Rod and Bissell Boy worked on the wheel.
As
the Nation started back up, and B-Rod and then Polar Bear led our
hero, the Sharkman, out to the first sprint, it seemed like more
riders were on.
 |
| Virgin Minion Ray! |
At
the G Ave. crossing, Sharkman counted 34 riders. Where had they all
come from? Skipper was now on and stated he'd lead the B group.
Kristina was back and had a new name due to her ventilated riding
shorts. Mighty Monk quickly named her “Half Moon.” Ranger Rick,
Kid Roster, Luke Skywalker.....more and more riders kept jumping on and the count was
tough to make and Sharkman started worrying about safety again.
As
the Nation headed up the col de Twin Lakes and on past Rt. 89, the
peloton seemed very well behaved and communicative.
Bissell
Boy started losing air in his newly changed tire, so Skipper stated
he would take the cut off and get him home and met the peleton at the
Rt. 43 sprint.
As
is the norm, the speed picked up in the Kountry Klub section and on
to the Rt. 43 sprint where Skipper joined back on for the assault on
the col de Norte.
 |
| Virgin Minion Dave, now Catfish! |
As
the Nation moved to the base of the climb, Sharkman noticed a major
increase in the number of riders in the peloton.
Believing
there were now close to 40 riders in the Nation, it seemed that there
were closer to 50 riders as the Nation spread out on the col de
Norte. At the summit, Sharkman began to yell at some of the rides
who were not waiting only to learn they had come up on another group
of riders, somewhere between 7-10 riders and the wayward cyclists were
not part of the group!
Sharkman
was quoted as stating, “So I get to yell at two different groups of
riders? Is this a great country or what?!?”
As
the Nation headed through the Holy Rollers, the other group of riders
stayed with and spectators when wild as the mass of cycling moved by
like a runaway train! It was estimated that there were 50 riders in
the peloton during this section of the ride that stayed fairly tight
all the way through to the feed zone at Frona's!
As
the additional group of riders went past Frona's, one of them was
heard to stay, “I've
never ridden with so many riders in a group
before!” Sharkman was concerned a Kalamazoo County Sheriff's
Deputy was going to pull him over and ask if he had a parade permit!
 |
| Squeaky was back in the mix! |
As
the Nation closed in on the Inlet Sprint, and Tow Truck and his
wingman, Luke Skywalker (Hey, when did he jump on!) the second flat
of the day took place when Kid Doster shouted out “Mechanica!”
and the Nation gathered up to wait for him to change the tube.
As
the Nation formed up for the controversial GGG Spot Sprint, all
wondered if Gazelle Girl, who was riding in her last KK-TdG for the
next 6 weeks as she is having surgery this week, was going to make
her move on the sprint.
The
Nation formed up into a very nice pace line as they headed towards
Gazelle Girls signature sprint. After all, well known Minion,
Ironman, was quoted as staying, “Most women only have one G Spot.
Gazelle Girl has three of them.....and EVERYBODY knows where they
are!”
 |
| Joe was back in the mix as well! |
As
everyone started imagining the sound of a match being lit, followed
by a long inhale and then an exhale....
Ahhhhhhh,
FINALLY!
As
Gazelle Girl shared at the post ride Press Conference, and we quote,
“They let me take care of myself.....with a little help from THE
ROD for positioning! My experience was definitely heightened by
those hot pink hose pumping up and down. This truly is a great
country!”
With
the entire Nation feeling good that Gazelle Girl had finally been
satisfied, the happy train headed to the final sprint.
Sharkman
quickly went to the front, but was soon overtaken by both Hossman and
Tow Truck. Yes, you read that right! Both Hossman and Tow Truck at
the same time! Oh, the humanity!
The
speed kept increasing and the average pace was already over 20 mph!
Thanks
to Hossman and Tow Truck, the peloton got stretched out and as the
Nation crested the final summit before the finish, it was a free for
all down to the last moment.
 |
| Tow Truck on his "RITCHEY!" |
One
of the CMS/Stryker riders named John edged out B-Rod for the top spot
on the podium.
With
the number of riders, it is getting more difficult to identify the
top three spots on the final sprint!
Finishing
pace, a season high 20.4 mph! And that was with two flat tires! Oh,
the humanity!
The
crowds went wild on the Champ le Galesburg as the riders rode to the
Klutch, where Sharkman fought with Easty to buy Gazelle Girl her
koffee. Sharkman won, but in honor of Gazelle Girls sprint victory
and the fact that she would be out for the next 6 weeks, Easty bought
koffee for EVERYONE! Whoa, what
was Sharkman thinking?!?
 |
| The Nation enjoys koffee on Easty! |
There
were several toasts and salutes to the “Sweetheart of the Peloton”
and the large crowd stuck around for a while and it was good that
they did. It was learned during the Post Ride Press Conference that
Dreamboat had revealed that he was wearing underwear under his riding
shorts!
Wait,
….what?
Yep,
an in depth investigation was conducted that revealed Dreamboat was
unaware that you don't wear underwear under your cycling outerwear!
When asked for comment, he stated that he had not been told this
procedure by his mentor, legendary Minion, the Pirate, and was
blaming the entire incident on him for his lack of direction on this
issue.
 |
| Brewman gives post race interview. |
In
other words, Dreamboat, and any other new riders out there,,,,”there
is nothing between any of us and the world but a thin layer of
Lycra!”
The
Pirate could not be reached for comment but we can all sort of guess
what he'd say.....
Meanwhile,
Half Moon was explaining her new nick name while Dreamboat and Mad
Dog demonstrated the proper drinking technique for expresso or whatever
that stuff is in the little koffee cups while Mighty Monk photo
bombed their photo.
In
other words, the Klutch was rocking!
 |
| Kristina learns her name is Half Moon........ also that Dreamboat has underwear on..... |
So
you won't want to miss this week's edition which will head south due
to the Sherminator this weekend!
It
will also be “Bisssell Boy Impersonator Day!”
That's
right, Bunkie, break out the Bissell Gear and impersonate one of our
legends of the Peloton, Bissell Boy, who get's the Nation all those
great deals on Bissell gear! This is your big chance to wear that
gear AND look like Bissell Boy.
Actually,
other than being short, bald, old, heavier and somewhat funny
looking, have you noticed that Sharkman looks just like Bissell Boy?
 |
| Dreamboat, with underwear...... |
 |
| How to drink expresso.....uh? |
Saturday,
August 2, 2014 (Can it be August already?!)
 |
| Mighty Monk photo bombs Gazelle Girl with Dreamboat and Mad Dog.... |
Launch
Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Southern
Route!
Be
there!
MINONS
DO THE NATION PROUD AT WAM!
Belo
News
July
28, 2014
 |
| Fly Boy, Great Dane & Wildman! |
Speedway,
Mi. - Two teams from the Minion Nation took part in the Make a Wish
Ride this past weekend. Team Taylor and the Eaton Road Warrior Team
both had stellar performances both in riding AND in raising major
funds for this important charity!
Belo
News was there with two Minion Reports, one with The Eaton Road
Warrior Team and one with Team Taylor. BN also has a comment by
Iceman hizzelf!
Their
stories are below in order of when Belo New received them.
Sharkman,
Wildman, your faithful Minion, reporting from this weekend's WAM tour!! No fancy write ups, because this Minion is EXHAUSTED from riding 300 miles for the Eaton Road Warriors! Fellow Minions and Team Eaton riders Flyboy and Great Dane, pictured below with Wildman, endured the cold morning of day one. Wildman met up with none other than B-Rod on day three, as he had just completed the 50-miler, and was waiting on Mrs. B-Rod to come in from the day's 100-mile stage three! Other Minions were spotted, but not captured on camera, such as Cheese, Kia Pet, Iceman, and too many Team Taylor riders to count! Man are they awesome!
 |
| B-Rod shows up to sign autographs! |
Wildman, your faithful Minion, reporting from this weekend's WAM tour!! No fancy write ups, because this Minion is EXHAUSTED from riding 300 miles for the Eaton Road Warriors! Fellow Minions and Team Eaton riders Flyboy and Great Dane, pictured below with Wildman, endured the cold morning of day one. Wildman met up with none other than B-Rod on day three, as he had just completed the 50-miler, and was waiting on Mrs. B-Rod to come in from the day's 100-mile stage three! Other Minions were spotted, but not captured on camera, such as Cheese, Kia Pet, Iceman, and too many Team Taylor riders to count! Man are they awesome!
The
best part: riders and volunteers from across Michigan raised over $2
million to help sick kids and their families endure some tough times
by easing their burdens for a little while. Is this a great country
or what?????!!!!
Wildman
encourages the Minion Nation to join either teams, Eaton or Taylor
for this heartwarming weekend next year.
Have a great week, Sharkman, and I look forward to returning to the nation next weekend!
P.S. I heard you had a wild ride this Saturday??!! (Oh, yes we did Wildman!)
Have a great week, Sharkman, and I look forward to returning to the nation next weekend!
P.S. I heard you had a wild ride this Saturday??!! (Oh, yes we did Wildman!)
 |
| Team Taylor finishers! |
Sharkman,
We
had a great ride at Make-A-Wish WAM2014. Team Taylor rode from
Traverse City to Michigan International Speedway covering just over
300 miles.
Day
1 - Traverse City to Big Rapids 98 miles (I rode an extra 2 to round
it off at an even 100). We had a pretty good pace going this day 19.1
mph even with 3800 ft of climbing. You knew there were going to be
hills when you enter the course and immediately have a climb to start
the day (Oh the Humanity) and you finished the day with one of the
biggest climbs at the 90 mile mark. Oh, there was a Cat 4 climb
somewhere in the middle as well. First beverage handed to me at camp
was a cold IPA - is this a Great Country or What!! Plenty of beers
and burgers in downtown BR to finish the day.
Day
2 - Big Rapids to Dewitt 109 miles. The Team Taylor train started
moving at an easy pace in the morning. We fortunately barely missed
getting rained on, but it made the roads very wet for the first 15-20
miles. My feet were soaked within the first 5 miles. We decided to
pick up the pace and not stop until the lunch break, about mile 48.
After enjoying lunch and letting our shoes and socks dry a little bit
in the sun, we hit the 2nd half pretty hard. We stopped at the 70
mile rest station for some nutrition and a quick relief of fluids.
This is when the pace really increased, at times Iceman was pulling
at 25-26 mph. We slowed down the last 7-8 miles only averaging
18-18.5 mph, when I stopped the Garmin as we rolled into Dewitt High
School our average for the 109 miles was 20.1 mph. Pizza and beer was
delivered shortly after - God Bless America!!!
Day
3 - Dewitt to Michigan International Speedway - 93 miles. This was a
pretty relaxed day of riding, if you can call 93 miles relaxing. I
think everyone rode with different groups all day or at least I did.
I seemed to miss the train in the morning and rode the 12 miles solo,
pushing to catch a group at the first rest stop. The rest of the day
was spent hopping from group to group. Stopped at a lot more of the
rest stops today, just had to make it inside the gates at MIS
by1:30pm so all 90 or so members of Team Taylor could ride onto the
track together.
 |
| The Mighty Team Taylor! |
Finally
after 3 days and 300 miles of riding, it really hit home why we were
putting ourselves through a bit of torture, it was for the KIDS! As
we made our way around turn 4, the crowd cheered. Many friends and
family cheering us on as we crossed the finish line. Many Wish Kids
and their families there to cheer us on. Our Wish Kids - Sam,
Christopher, and Michelle were there to place our medals around our
necks and of course Taylor was there in our hearts.
All
and All a great experience and can't wait until next year.
Saw
another Minion on the ride "Wildman" should have taken a
picture with him.
Pictured
from left to right is Nickhead, Dan G (non minion), Cheese, Iceman,
Kia Pet, Chains.
And
from Iceman hizzelf;
Colby,
great writeup for sharkie. All I would add as commentary is that it is
weird to have lunch at 9:00am each day. But that's when we rolled in
for "lunch". You remember that don't ya sharkman? Here's to
no Board of Directors Meeting next year and you re-joining us for the
amazing Wish a mile 300 next year.
See you in 2 weeks at the KK-TdG!
Iceman
BLOODY
'ELL 'UNDRED, SPOUSES/SIGNIFICANT OTHERS INVITED!
AUGUST
16, 2014!
Belo
News
July
24, 2014,
Gull
Lake, Mi. - It is that time of year again! Time for the Bloody 'Ell
'Undred! Oh, the humanity!
Gazelle
Girl and Zickman are getting things ready to host the Nation on the
Third Annual Bloody 'Ell and you can be a part of this classic event.
The ride starts at the Zick Estate with bloody Mary's and then the
riders head up to Hastings to have lunch and perhaps a beer or two,
at the Waldorf, before heading back to the Zick Estate!
Check
out the attached invitation, as riders can have their spouses or
significant others to join them post ride at the Zick Estate and who
doesn't want to see the Zick Estate!
It
can't get better than this ride!
So
mark your calendars and let Gazelle Girl know your coming, Bunkie!
Gazelle
Girl can be contacted at joan.o@comcast.net
Well,
what are you waiting for?
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider
involved.
No comments:
Post a Comment