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| The Nation ready to rock! |
“OTHER GUY” TAKES THE TAPE!
GAZELLE GIRL DENIED THE GGG SPOT.....AGAIN!
SHARKLETS RAMPAGE THROUGH THE KLUTCH!
SKUNK MAN?
ATTENDANCE APPEAL DROPPED?!?
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
Belo News
July 12, 2014
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| BN has confirmed that they also come in men's colors! |
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was pulling himself out of bed thinking of the ride ahead. The Sharkman's sharklet's had been at the Cove for the week and our hero was excited to have both his son in laws in Michigan for the visit and planned to have both as Celebrity Riders at the KK-TdG.
Things did not go as planned however........
Bissell Boy had even lent a bike to the Great Moultini to ride (A very nice carbon fiber Kestrel).......but it was not to be........
The Great Moultini (Executive Editor at Outside Magazine and Editor of the Outside Buyers Guide) had to go to New York to do a segment on the “Today Show” on gear. However, he had planned to return on Friday evening to do the ride on Saturday. Outside Magazine had other ideas and “shopped” the “Gear Guy” around to the other media outlet's and the CBS Weekend Show decided to take the Great Moultini. This not only meant that the Great Moultini would not get back to the Shark Cove until Saturday night, but they also wanted him to
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| Sharkman and son in law, MK. Sharkman in his Facebook Jersey courtesy of MK! |
Skunks? When did Sharkman's son in law become an expert on Skunks?
The Great Moultini really was not an expert, but he quickly had to become an expert on the white striped pests who are plaguing the Midwest!
Not only that, but the Great Moultini had to suffer the indignity of the comments he was receiving from the Sharkman, as well as his brother in law, MK, and most of his friends, about now being known as the “Skunk Man!”
So it was Sharkman, along with his other son in law, MK, (riding Tardette's very sweet ride; a carbon fiber Project One Trek – Thank You Tardette!) who launched from the Cove with Rainman joining on as they crossed the road near his driveway. Sharkman was sporting a pretty fine “Facebook” jersey, complements of MK who does public relation for the
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| Sharkman could not look away from those socks as B-Rod leads our hero out! |
MK hammered all the way over which was reminiscent of his “hammering” the old Shark all week on the roads.
Mad Dog was conspicuous by his absence on this fine morning. The previous evening he had texted our hero stating “If I make it, I'll be at the Cove at 7 a.m. – SHARP! But don't plan on me. After tomorrows ride Gazelle Girl can claim she won without any protest from me!”
Appeal dropped! (And it didn't cost anyone any koffee!)
As Sharkman, MK and Rainman got to the start, it was beginning to look like the attendance might be a bit low after the huge turnout the previous week.
(It was later learned that Dr. Dave had driven all the way over to the start only to realize he had left his helmet at home and had to go back only to join on later, before the first sprint.)
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| Sharkman spent the week riding with his daughters Nicole & Colleen! |
B-Rod was unloading his steed and hitching up a pair of neon yellow compression socks that were the talk of the Nation! Stating that he was very secure in his manhood, B-Rod said everyone would be wearing a pair of these baby's once they appeared in the Belo News. After seeing his neon red compression socks the week before, the only question the Editors of Belo News have is “Do they make these sock's in men's colors?” Oh, the humanity!
Sasquatch rode in on his Bianchi moments later, the bike's classic “celeste blue” seeming to “clash”
with B-Rod's trendy socks.....
Moments later, Polar Bear came squealing in, in his Subaru and thankfully, timed his precision turn perfectly so as not to hit the guy in the neon compression socks as well as the other Minions waiting at the start! Maybe there is something to this neon thing?!?
More Mininons began to pour in, albeit a bit slower than normal. Ranger Rick drove in and was unloading his car as was Hossman who was not in the Mustang this week. With just a few minutes before launch, the Gull Lake contingent started to arrive with Bissell Boy, the Skipper, Chico, Zickman and the long lost Tow Truck who was riding his old Lemond. Tow Truck stated he had sent his carbon fiber Trek out to California for repair and was awaiting delivery! Good to have Tow Truck back in the mix.
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| Sharkman also took the sharklets fishing! Is this a great country or what?!? |
The Skipper ordered all to saddle up and with the lovely sound of pedals “clicking in” the Nation was on the road!
The light stopped the Nation in down town Galesburg, which gave the early morning koffee group time to do the count for Andrew.
As the Nation headed north on 36th, the Nation gave Gazelle Girl her shout out,, much to the chagrin of some other guy.....
Sharkman, like most of the Nation, was completely mesmerized by B-Rods fashion statement. He was quoted as saying, “They're so repulsive, yet I can't look away!”
Our hero was glued to B-Rod's wheel, staring at the socks with MK also pulling him to the first sprint.
Later, Boatman and Dr. Dave jumped on and then, as the Nation approached the sprint before the Col de Twin Lakes, where Zickman snuck up to take the sprint, the peloton spotted a familiar rider.......could it be? Could it possibly be? Yes, it was the long lost Falcon who was back and was jumping on!
His attempt to “blend in quietly” was thwarted as Sharkman shouted out a welcome!
There were now 20 riders as the Nation went through the col de Twin Lakes.
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| The Great Moultini doing a solo Minion Ride in Central Park, NY! |
However, at the Rt. 43 Stop Sign, the Nation came back together and proceeded up the col de Norte where everyone was on and the train skipped the station and went on to the Holy Rollers and to the feed station at Frona's.
Some riders had to drop off to head home before the Digital Divide, were the Nation formed up again to but together a very nice pace line, …..well by Minion standards anyway....that reached 27 mph at points.
As the Nation moved towards the GGG Spot, all wondered if Gazelle Girl was planning to have a go at the sprint named after her. As luck would have it MK made it to the front of the fast moving train as it snaked towards the finish with Gazelle Girl in perfect position to make that final and famous thrust to the stop ahead sign! Belo News reached out to Gazelle Girl to tell “the rest of the story....”
"With MK pulling off the front and Gazelle Girl next in line so very close to the GGG Spot, she figured 'Heck Yeah!' I'll just take my turn at the front and lead everyone right up to the Stop Ahead sign with no problem. After all, Gazelle Girl was RIGHT where she needed to be to take her beloved bit of sprint satisfaction, right? Au contraire! Suddenly a half dozen Minions began to overtake the Sweetheart of the Peloton shouting encouraging words of 'Jump on, Gazelle Girl!' 'Grab my wheel, Gazelle Girl!' 'C'mon, Gazelle Girl!' .... many Mighty Minions urging Gazelle Girl to latch on in order to bring her back to the proper position which she was already in prior to all of this jockeying.
Is this a great country or what???
And then... it happened... again. Falcon, who couldn't seem to control himself, spurted ahead to finish before Gazelle Girl could get to the GGG Spot. Oh, the humanity!"
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| Sharlets moving so fast at the Klutch, it was hard to get a photo! |
Again, a collective moan of “NOOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!” could be heard from the Nation as their Sweetheart of the Pelotonton was again denied her coveted finish........
Oh, the humanity!
After the Nation again took a deep breath and finished their cigarettes, they moved on to the final sprint after crossing G Ave.
Hossman, MK and Sharkman went to the front to pull. Hossman took the speed up and was relentless in stretching out the Nation before Tow Truck buzzed by like a Mirage Fighter Jet and splintered the peloton just the way the Sharkman likes to see it happen!
Sharkman was fully wasted and dropped back as the Nation went by our hero, but happy that the Tow Truck ripped the peloton apart.
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| Raindrop, Rainman and Tardette at the Klutch to sign autographs! |
Only a few riders could respond, but Ironman, still seemingly miffed for no greeting at the start of the ride, flew by to take the finish with B-Rod in those blazing socks, and Zickman on his tail to take the top three spots in the peloton!
Tow Truck pulled off and said he had to get home and Sharkman thanked him for the great pull!
The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as their hero's zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and waved at their adoring fans.
B-Rod claimed he had no money, having spent it all on gaily colored compression socks, and just as Sharkman was ready to buy him his Koffee, the Pirate stepped up to buy koffee for both B-Rod and Sharkman, as well as a Coke for MK!
Coke? The younger generation......
The Klutch was abuzz with activity as the Nation settled in for Koffee.
Lava Girl arrived with Sharkman's daughters and sharklet's where they were moving so fast it was hard to get a photo! Showing their “shark instincts,” there was an incident where some bacon was ordered and the little sharklets jumped on it like sharks on a wounded fish!
Tardette also arrived with Raindrop to sign autographs and pose for fan photos with Rainman.
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| Nicole, Lava Girl and Colleen at the Klutch! |
During the festivities, the Great Moultini texted a “Hello” with a photo of him on a “Solo Minion Ride” in Central Park. The Nation responded with a text of hello from the Klutch!
You won't want to miss this week's edition of the KK-TdG when it is......
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| The Nation says "Hi!' to the Great Moultini! |
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
Yes, in anticipation of the big day, this Saturday will be BEU Jersey Day, so get those jersey's out and get ready to ride!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be there!
WHERE WERE EASTY AND WESTY?
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| Easty & Westy in golf kit. Oh, the humanity!!! |
Belo News
July 12, 2014
Kalamazoo, Mi. - Many Minions were wondering where one of the mainstay's of the Nation, Easty, was this past weekend and thanks to some investigative reporting Belo News was able to find out! Subsequent investigation revealed he and son, Westy were playing golf!
Uh, golf? Rather than ride?!? What the hey....?
Thanks to our investigative reporters, Belo News was also able to uncover this never before seen (and hopefully never again) photograph of the two wayward Minions in their, (gasp) golf kit!
Oh, the humanity!
Easty was quoted as stating, “Can't believe these two Minions tried to imitate golfers on Saturday instead of ride their bikes! Amazingly, we did not win (or even contend) in the golf tourney we were in. Back to the peloton as fast as possible!!!!!! No 3 putts there!”
What were they thinking!
See you this Saturday!
HOOSIER BOY AND NIKEBOY AT THE LAKE SWIM!
Belo News
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| Hoosier Boy & Nikeboy at Lake Swim! Love the swim cap, Hoosier Boy! |
July 12, 2014
Battle Creek, Mi. - This past Saturday two Minions actually did have a good reason not to be at the KK-TdG. Hoosier Boy was competing in the annual “Lake Swim” at Goguac Lake. This event has gone on since 1928 and has been a staple of the summer in Battle Creek.
Nikeboy was an official for the event and worked the paddle board while Hoosier Boy did the Nation proud and won in his age group! Go Hoosier Boy!
When interviewed by BN after the event, Hoosier Boy was quoted as stating, “Best news of all, I did not get beat by any nine year old swimmers. Youngest swimmer this year was thirteen!”
Nice job, Minions, nice job!
MINION JERSEY'S STILL AVAILABLE TO ORDER TILL SATURDAY!
Belo News
July 16, 2014
Galesburg, Mi. - For those of you who were not able to meet the deadline for the famous Minion Jersey's, Gazelle Girl is going to send in a second order. So, if you still want to order, get in touch with Gazelle Girl by this Saturday at joan.o@comcast.net.
Gazelle Girl can provide sizing/pricing information to inquiries by email.
Delivery is expected in mid to late August.
No orders after this Saturday until next year so get moving, Bunkie!
And speaking of getting a hold of Gazelle Girl, don't forget.........
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED DATE SET!
August 16, 2014!
Belo News
July 2, 2014,
Gull Lake, Mi. - It is that time of year again! Time for the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred! Oh, the humanity!
Gazelle Girl and Zickman are getting things ready to host the Nation on the Third Annual Bloody 'Ell and you can be a part of this classic event. The ride starts at the Zick Estate with bloody Mary's and then the riders head up to Hastings to have lunch and perhaps a beer or two, at the Waldorf, before heading back to the Zick Estate! It can't get better than this ride!
So mark your calendars and let Gazelle Girl know your coming, Bunkie!
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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