BATHROOM STOP FOILS NICKHEADS BID TO WIN SECOND KK-TdG!
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| Zickman & B-Rod with the famous wood bike! |
RAIN? WHAT RAIN?
RETURN OF THE ZICKMAN!
TOUR DE TAYLOR RIDE IN TWO WEEKS!
Belo News
June 1, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, laid in his warm and cozy bed, he watched the lightening flash across the Cove's bedroom window, lighting up the ceiling just before the rumble of thunder announced the storm. "Oh no!" he thought as he heard the rain falling on the roof of his humble abode. The old Shark was chomping at the bait to get back out after missing the previous edition of his beloved KK-TdG and now the weather was threatening another ride! Oh, the humanity.
Sharkman rolled out of his cozy retreat and padded his way to the Shark Radar after getting the koffee going. As the warm glow of his iPad beamed off his shark shaped koffee kup, he noted that it looked like the rain would eventually pass, but not in time for a 7:00 a.m. launch from the Cove.
No worries as on the previous evening, our hero got an email from Mad Dog stating that he was taking his in-laws golfing in the morning and would not be riding over. That left only Nikeboy and Rainman and surely the rain would hold both of them at bay.
It was still drizzling at 7 a.m., so Sharkman opened the garage door in case Nikeboy showed up as Sharkman had finally decided to drive to the start.
No sooner had the garage door opened then Sharkman received a text from Rainman. "You are one brave Minion. Today goes against everything that Rainman knows to be right. Stay dry!"
Sharkman's only hope was that not everyone was thinking like the Rainman as he responded with "It looks like we have this last wave and then no rain!" Ah, Sharkman, the eternal optimist! Well, that and he hates to miss a ride!
Sharkman loaded up his faithful litespeed in the Sharkmobile and headed over as the rain seemed be slowing abating.
As our hero arrived, he found B-Rod, and none other than that legend of the wooden bike, Zickman! Yes, Zickman was making his season debut, after coming of the Disabled List, sporting a Kellogg Pops Jersey and of course, his now famous wooden bike! In honor of Zickman's return, the old Shark told him he wanted to give him his honorary sprint and said he would personally lead him out! (Of course we all know Sharkman just wanted to get his name in Belo News…..)
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| Tony Jersey Day for Mighty Minion Nation! |
Shortly after, Bissell Boy rode in wearing his Tony the Tiger Jersey followed by Tow Truck. Squeaky had snuck in and needed to be woken up from sleeping on the bench near the school entrance for the group photo.
Also driving in, was Ryan, who has ridden with the Minions intermittently and still has not been given a name, though everyone is now working on it. Welcome back Ryan!
As the Nation started out, four Team Taylor Riders, led by the Iceman himself, caught on. Nickhead, Mo Pink and a one ride Minion, Dave Buick who also does not have a name but the Minions were working on that one as well. Welcome back Dave!
Luann was at her station, as were the early morning koffee group, to wave our hero's on …….and that is when it happened.
Nickhead needed to make a comfort stop and decided to do so at the Klutch unbeknownst to our hero and ride leader, the Sharkman. Sharkman did not learn of the stop until the train was behind the Klutch, heading to 36th St. and thought that they should stop and wait when Nickheads fellow Team Taylor associates stated he'd catch up. Sharkman, knowing Nickhead to be one fast rider, thought that would be O.K. little noting that as Nickhead himself stated later in his sound bite, "navigation is my Kryptonite!"
As the Nation headed north, they were first joined by Ironman and when they saw him without Gazelle Girl, their first thought was that Gazelle Girl had blown off the ride due to the threat of rain AND the earlier start. Au contraire, mon frere! Gazelle Girl rode up to her regular cheer from the Nation after being slighted the previous week.
B-Rod was taking our hero out when the Shark yelled back to Zickman to come on up! Sharkman then led Zickman, mounted on his beautiful wooden bike, to the first sprint to the cheers of thousands of fans lining the course in the threatening weather!
As the Nation stopped at G Ave., they were one short of the thirteen riders Sharkman had counted. It was pretty clear that Nickhead had not found the peloton and after waiting a few minutes, Iceman called him on his cell. Nickhead stated he was somewhere near 40th St.? Whoa, that was about 4 miles east of the Nations present location so he was way off course!
Iceman instructed him to go to the east side of the lake and ride north to meet the Nation on the way down to the Klutch.
The Minions headed out and Zickman, feeling his oats, edged out Squeaky on the sprint in the run up to the col de Twin Lakes.
On the climb up the col de Twin Lakes Bissell Boy, showing massive leg strength, torqued his chain so much it came off the big gear and he had to stop to get it back on! Oh, the humanity!
The speed picked up through the Kountry Klub section where Sharkman went to the front until some of the Team Taylor Riders came forward to relieve him. As they past near the Bissell Boy Estate, they were greeted by Dr. Dave who was in a car driving somewhere! The Nation acknowledge his wave and were on their way! Why wasn't he riding?
Sharkman at the back of the lead group biding his tim before he made his move at the Rt. 43 sprint but Dave came up for a photo finish.
As the Nation crested the col de Norte, there was no sign of Nickhead. Where could he be you ask? Same question the Nation was asking!
The concern continued through the Holy Rollers and at the Frona stop, Iceman, Mo Pink, Ryan, Dave and Bissell Boy took the cut off to make sure Nickhead wasn't heading north from the inlet.
As the Nation came back together at the inlet, still no Nickhead? Iceman tried to call, but his phone was out of range so Mo Pink tried and got Nickheads answering machine.
The Nation crossed the Digital Divide and formed up a very nice pace line and the speed went up to around 22 mph! Actually, it was one of the best pace lines in some time!
As the Minion train bore down on the GGG Spot, all eyes were on the sweetheart of the peloton, Gazelle Girl, to see if she would attempt to repeat her win the previous week.
Unfortunately, Gazelle Girl got boxed in and was unable to respond to a move made by Ryan to take her coveted GGG Spot! Oh, the humanity!
As the Nation headed south to the final sprint, no one seemed to want to get out front for too long, but then Iceman moved forward at the top of the final climb to the finish and told Sharkman to latch on.
Putting the hammer down, Iceman took it up to 30 mph as Sharkman held on for dear life!
As the old Shark looked in his rearview mirror he saw a cast of thousands ready to pounce! Sharkman knew he and Iceman were playing into B-Rods strength, so also knowing that if someone like B-Rod made a move, there would be no staying with him, the old Shark broke earlier than he would have liked. Iceman would later comment at the Press Conference that "he could see the wind hit Sharkman and hold him up!"
Sharkman pedaled his little dorsal off but with a mere 60 yds left, B-Rod, then Ironman and Mo Pink went by shoving Sharkman of the podium and to the fourth spot. Oh, the humanity!
The crowds went wild of the Champs le Galesburg and as our hero's approached the Klutch, there was the wayward Nickhead trying to explain what happened.
Apparently when he got to the inlet, he was sure the Nation had passed already and headed back to the Klutch. Later in the day, Sharkman sent the wayward Nickhead a map of the course for future reference and made a mental not to self that he will leave no Minion behind no matter how fast!
The earlier start gave the Minions more time at the Klutch and the koffee was flowing. Talk of the crazy weather permeated the discussion and Tow Truck tried to convince everyone that he and Bissell Boy rode through lightening, hail, twisters and even saw a cow fly across the sky in front of them. But, none the less, Sharkman also had extra time because he had driven over. As he and B-Rod rode back to their cars they noticed how dirty their bikes were from the wet road ride but smiled about getting their ride in before the next severe storm rolled through. Only Zickman would need to clean his bike quickly to avoid mildew on that wood!
Sharkman hopes to return next Saturday to lead the Nation so you won't want to miss this ride!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
ANOTHER BELO NEWS RETRACTION? OH, THE HUMANITY!
CANNON TAKES SECOND SPRINT!
Belo News
June 1, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - In yet another retraction of a report featured in Belo News, Mad Dog, class act that he is, contacted the editorial staff to report that actually, the Cannon got the second sprint finish and not Mad Dog. We apologize to the Cannon, class act that he is for not complaining and for any inconvience the may have caused the Nation as the staff here knows that the Minions can't wait to see their names in the pages of this legendary fifth estate!
TOUR DE TAYLOR JUNE 15, 2013
B-ROD TO START MINIONS AT 7:30 A.M. - SHARP!
BE THERE!
Belo News
May 25, 2013
Galesburg, Mi. - Last year was the inaugural of the Tour de Taylor ride and several Minions, including Sharkman and Lava Girl took part. This is a fund raiser for Team Taylor and their quest to raise funds for the Make a Wish Foundation and the WAM ride coming up in July. Many of the Nation are also members of Team Taylor and our own Sharkman has ridden with the team on the WAM three times.
Because of the close relationship of the mighty Minion Nation and Team Taylor, there will be no ride on June 15, 2013 so the Nation can take part in this great ride!
Unfortunately, Sharkman cannot ride this year due to a family obligation in Illinois, but he is encouraging the Nation to go to the attached site and sign up today because B-Rod is planning to group the Minions at the start to do the 62 (100K) ride with. Last year many of the Nation rode the 62 mile ride together and reported having a great time followed by an incredible catered lunch. There are also 12 and 31 mile courses.
So B-Rod will be looking for other Minions at the start at 7:30 a.m. so don't wait Bunkie, sign up now!
Tour de Taylor, June 15th! http://www.tourdetaylor.org/
Be there!
MOTOR CITY BIKE RIDE JUNE 22, 2013
Belo News
May 14, 2013
Detroit, Mi. - Detroit, Mi. - Yet another opportunity for the Nation is the Motor City Bike Ride on June 22, 2013 that Belo News has been promoting the past few weeks. A close friend of the Sharkman has asked to post this great charity ride for those who might want to make a trip over to the east side of the State to enjoy some Motor City hospitality! This ride is limited to 150 riders so if you are interested, don't wait. All the information is available at;
Facebook Page - http://www.facebook.com/events/430264013735265/
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