Wednesday, June 26, 2013


DON'T WAIT TO ORDER YOUR 'BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY!

PIRATE AND AIRMAN FIGHT TO PHOTO FINISH!

Was it the Sharkies?  Oh, yeah!
SHARKMAN TAKES THIRD!  

WAS IT THE SHARKIES?

GAZELLE GIRL GETS THE GGG SPOT!

SOUTHERN ROUTE THIS WEEKEND!

Belo News
June 22, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - As dawn broke warm over the Shark Cove, the street was bustling with activity as the Sharkman launched to find both Mad Dog and the ever accessorized, Nike Boy riding in to greet him. Mad Dog commented that he thought it was the first morning that they had made the trip over without needing rain jackets or arm warmers.  Yes, it was one of those classic summer mornings with little wind, lot's of sun and a good road filled with Minions ahead.

Nike Boy, styling.......
The riders discussed the great Rapha kit that Nike Boy was wearing and whether or not he was trying to take the "Style Guys" job from him?  Nike Boy was looking good!

As they arrived a bit early to the start, they saw Brewman ride in and shortly after, Hoosier Boy sporting a new helmet and having his ever present Starbucks mounted in his bottle cage.  Though he has been questioned on where he picks up that Starbucks he has yet to acknowledge the location.

A couple of riders that have not been seen in a while started to arrive.  Peugeot Guy, one of the early Minions, was making his season debut to the cheers of his waiting public and Hutch was back after a kids soccer hiatus. Ox pulled in solo, without his usual entourage from the east side of Gull Lake and Zickman rode in with the usual throngs wanting to see his "woody."  To every ones surprise, the Pirate rode in, fresh in from Spain and before heading out to Belgium.  He was again putting on his Bissell Boy imitation for the crowd.

Airman had ridden in from home, followed by Falcon who was sporting his Lumberjack 100 jersey,
The return of Peugeot Guy!
looking like a northern lumberjack and Sasquatch was right behind him.  Stryker guy and Ranger Rick also pulled in and Polar Bear rolled in sporting his new Polar Bear jersey! It seemed that everyone was on time for a SHARP launch and with 1 minute to 8:00 a.m. they decided to launch early!

YES, game on!

As the train headed through town, the Klutch Krowd waved as the Nation rode by and headed north.

Gazelle Girl jumped on to her usual greeting and Ranger Rick took Sharkman out to the first sprint with the Falcon making a weak attempt to become personna non grata, but thinking better of it, he just got dusted by the old Shark.

Sharkman pulled aside to get the count and thought it was 17 as the Nation crossed G Ave.  Belo News hates to forget to mention any riders but when the count gets that high (anything over 15 is considered high), all bet's are off on getting ones name in print. Well, unless you buy Sharkman his koffee or lead him out to his sprint.  

Belo News apologizes for any riders left off this weeks listing…..

As the Nation climbed the col de Twin Lakes, Sharkman and Zickman took an early, but it was a short lived lead as the peloton was not to be caught napping on this gorgeous morning.
Hoosier Boy & his new helmet!

As the riders crossed Rt. 89 and started east towards the col de No Name, a shout of "Mechanical!" was heard from the back of the peloton.  The Nation stopped to learn that Hoosier Boy had a flat tire on his front wheel.  As Airman attempted to help, the Nation was attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes, some wearing leather jackets and carrying switchblade knifes!  One mosquito was reported as having a patch over one eye!  One tough bunch of bugs!

Sharkman took this opportunity to down a couple of Sharkies (see story below) and shared a few with Falcon and Gazelle Girl.

Several riders moved to the other side of the road, away from the woods as Hoosier Boy wasn't breaking any speed records for fixing that tire.  As a matter of fact, it was taking so long that Falcon asked it if was Wolf King doing the repairing!  Sharkman commented that it couldn't be Wolf King as no one had cut their hand yet in the act of fixing the flat tire while taking so long!

After a puff of CO2, the clink of tire irons going back into the took kit and the tire was repaired, the Nation got going again and attacked the Kountry Klub section with a vengeance.  A massive group sprint took place at the Stop Ahead before Rt. 43, so massive, it was difficult to learn who took the sprint!

As the peloton crested the col de Norte, everyone was on and the riders kept going with an informal pace line.  Ox dropped off  to head for home before the Holy Rollers and as the Nation pulled up to Frona's, they did a quick count before heading home.
Zickman showing off his "woody" again....

After the Digital Divide, the Nation formed up nicely into an efficient pace line and as they approached the GGG Spot, Gazelle Girl, surrounded by a number of "henchmen" moved to get her into place for the sprint.  This plan worked well, as she was able to fight off a several of attempts to reach the GGG Spot before she could achieve it, but the victory was hers! Shouts of, "It was a victory for America!" were heard throughout the GGG Spot and the Minion Nation! 

With no Hossman or Tow Truck around, the old Shark was a bit worried about a mass sprint finish, however, Ranger Rick went to the front and threw himself on his sword as he took the Nation out fast.  After a valiant effort, Hoosier Boy took over and then Polar Bear to the front to put the hammer down.

As the Nation got to the summit of the final climb and began the ascent, it was any ones race!  The Nation did a great job holding their lines and maintain sanity in the final stretch!

Hutch returns from Kid Duty!
Airman made his final move to break from the pack, but the Pirate was laying in wait and latched on with Sharkman nipping at their wheels.  Airman and Pirate fought it out hard and in the press conference later, Sharkman commented that he thought he might actually be able to go around them as they battled.  However, the Pirate put on a surge to catch Airman, dropping the old Shark and though Airman claimed Pirate got the sprint (being the class act that he is) the Sharkman verified it was too close to call and both were awarded the victory with Sharkman filling out the podium!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as Gazelle Girl and Sharkman led the peloton past the paparazzi and tofosi lining the boulevard!

Actually, Gazelle Girl and Sharkman won the final sprint to the Koffee Klutch and found it open this week!  A big cheer was heard around Galesburg as the hero's scrambled into the Klutch and Zickman bought Sharkman koffee for the second time this year!

The discussion quickly turned to the 'Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jerseys and the orders started to pour in. 
Falcon & his Lumberjack jersey....
Some questioned the difference between the "European Cut" sizing versus the "Pro Cut" sizing.  Sharkman cleared it up by stating that European Cut meant smaller, while Pro Cut meant normal, American size.  After all, they couldn't say, "European Cut" and "Fat American Cut" could they? Oh, the humanity!

Speaking of those jerseys, time is running out so get yours quickly!

Sharkman felt great on the ride home with Mad Dog and began wondering what was in those Sharkies!  See story below!

This Saturday, June 29, 2013

Due to the Gull Lake Triathlon, the Nation will be doing a leisurely southern route.  So it will be important for riders to be at the start!

The Pirate reporting(& winning) from....Galesburg?
For those of you who haven't been out because you are feeling slow, this is the ride for you!  Come on out and ride yourself back into shape with this easy ride south of Galesburg!  See a waterfall and an old Mill!  

Special Celebrity Rider, Sharkman's Daughter, Nicole will also be riding!

For those Minions doing the Triathlon, make the Nation proud!

Launch time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

NOT MUCH TIME LEFT TO ORDER YOUR BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY, BUNKIE! 

DEADLINE JULY 1 - THIS MONDAY!


GET MOVING!

Belo News
June 26, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Hey Bunkie, better get moving if you want to order your official Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Jersey!  Even if you are not riding the ride, you will want one of these babies, so don't wait.  The deadline is this Monday, July 1, 2013!  Anyone who is anyone will be wearing this baby and there will of course be Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jersey days along with College Game Day, Tony the Tiger, Beer, Bissell, WAM, etc. Jersey Days so don't be left out!

The sizing chart was attached to the Shark Minion Update but if you have any questions, get a hold of Gazelle Girl NOW and order your jersey and if you are riding, make your reservation.

Get a hold of Gazelle Girl now at;

joan.o@comcast.net

These things are going like Doritos from Wolf Kings grubby hand so get your Minion Butt moving now!








WAS IT THE SHARKIES?

Belo News
Sharkman downing Sharkies at the Klutch!
June 22, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - There was a buzz in the peloton last week with the Sharkman's impressive third place finish.  Even more so after he got shot out the back in the Kountry Klub section a couple of weeks ago yet came back to place fourth on that ride.  What could be giving this Shark all the energy?  Well, as previously reported, Sharkman got a stash of "Sharkies" from their PR group and he has been munching on these all natural "sharkies" ever since!  He stated he felt like he was "flying" this past Saturday as he motored home with Mad Dog.

However, this clearly begs the question, "if he is eating Sharkies, doesn't it seem a bit cannabalistic?"  Sharkman's reply to this conundrum was simply, "who cares if I go fast!"

These organic little babies seemed to quickly deliver energy and fuel to meet his demanding shark body!

We aren't sure if they made our hero any faster, but he thinks so!

MMMMmmmm......Sharkies!

We think Sharkies has a new spokesperson! Or should we say "spokessharkperson?"

Big thanks to Julie Atherton from JAM Media Collective and the folks at Sharkies for the samples!

Is this a great country or what?!?








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