Gathering of the Klan!

A GATHERING OF THE KLAN!

MINIONS TURN OUT IN MASS!

WHO WAS THAT MINION IN THE KEVLAR STOLE?

Belo News

November 10, 2012

Augusta, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, padding through the shark kitchen with the smell of fresh coffee wafting in his gills and the excitement of a ride on his little mind.  

Sharkman was excited to be riding with his Minion Nation at Ft. Custer for the last ride before the Deer Hunters take over his beloved mountain bike playground. 

The weather was cooperating and it was shaping up to be another fantastic day for the mighty Minion Nation!

Styker Guy gets ready....

As Sharkman sipped his first cup of coffee, the Shark Phone began to buzz with a text from Zickman inquiring if the Shark was starting from the Trail Head, to which he responded that he was indeed! Well, at least one other Minion besides Yeti Boy would be there!

Yeti Boy pulled into the Cove with his old pick up truck, where Sharkman was waiting with his camel back in one hand and a fresh cup of coffee for Yeti Boy in the other.

He quickly threw his bike on the back of the truck, handed Yeti Boy his coffee and off they went to the start, yapping about the ride and sipping their joe. Is this a great country or what?

As the duo pulled into Ft. Custer they found Stryker Guy on their tail, and when they pulled into the Trail Head, Sharkman was happy to be greeted by a cast of Minions waiting to do the last ride before Deer Season! 

Oh, the humanity!

Da Yoop makes an appearance!

All Black was there with his brand new Giant 9er for his virgin mountain bike ride on the new steed!

A couple of long lost Minions were also in attendance as Da Yoop, long time Minion, occasional rider, was in the peloton along with the longest serving Minion in the Nation, Karl the Kannibal who came all the way from Jackson to join in the fun.

Tow Truck and side kick, Luke Skywalker along with Danimal, Gazelle Girl and of course, Zickman were circling the parking lot ready to ride as Stryker Guy got his bike unloaded and ready.

Tow Truck, who has had major shoulder/rotor cuff surgery on BOTH shoulders debuted what was promptly named by Gazelle Girl as the "Kevlar Stole" shoulder pads! (see photo).  As Tow Truck said, "these shoulders can't take anymore injuries!"  Tow Truck was living the Minion Credo, "If you can't be good, look good!"  However, as Tow Truck demonstrated on the trails, he not only "looks good" he is "good!"

Gazelle Girl, who had broken the rear derailleur on her "sports car of mountain bikes" cross bike while doing a night ride at the Ft. (You heard that right, a night ride.  Sharkman doesn't think he has good enough night vision for riding at the Ft. at night!) was riding a real mountain bike! What a studdette!

longest serving Minion, the Kannibal!

Since this was his virgin ride on the new 9er for All Black, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, announced he would be leading a ride out on the Blue while he asked legendary trail blazer Danimal to lead the rest of the riders out on the Red.

Danimal took the main group out through "the Trenches" as Sharkman, Yeti Boy, Stryker Guy and All Black followed but cut off at the Blue trail after the Camel Humps.

All Black took well to the trails and was buzzing along easily when, unfortunately, his handlebars came loose.  No one had an allen wrench to tighten the bars and the foursome headed back to the Trail Head to see if any of the Red Loop group had returned and had a wrench to tighten down the bar.

Unfortunately, the main group was still out on the trails and All Black decided he would ride back to his car and head home as any further riding would be hazardous to his health and he was not wearing a "Kevlar Stole."

Tow Truck, Luke Skywalker & "the Kevlar Stole!"

Meanwhile, Yeti Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman headed back out on the Red Trail and when they returned, the main group was still not back, or at least most of them were not as their cars were still in the parking lot.  Apparently, they were having a great time out on the trails!

Thus, the 2012 Minion Season draws to a great close!  

It has been a phenomenal year for cycling, but the Nation holds out hope there may be some additional rides after Deer Season closes and if the snow fall is light like last year.

All Black on his new 9er!

So stay tuned for occasional updates and news on the Minion Nation this winter!

Thanks to Nation for a great season!

GUZZLE DOWN FOR THE TOWN!

Join the fun on Monday January 7, 2013!

Belo News

November 15, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - Acradia's Ales is hosting "Guzzle One Down for the Town" event on Monday, January 7, 2012.  

This event is for the Calhoun County Trailway! Proceeds from beer sales that night will go to the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance. 

Please support this fantastic event! 

Special thanks to Arcadia for supporting this great cause!

Here is the link to the event:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/287710781339507/

Drink beer AND help the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance?!?  Is this a great country or what!

Sharkman plans to be there, and he hopes you will be too!   Besides, what else is there to do on a cold winter's Monday night, eh Bunkie?

Iceman Cometh start in Kalkaska

MINIONS AT THE ICEMAN!

LOOK MA, NO SEAT!

FT. CUSTER REDUE THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

November 3, 2012

Traverse City, Mi. - The mighty Minion Nation was out in force for the Iceman Cometh 2012 edition and they came ready to make the Nation proud!

The weather was a bit more unfriendly this year when compared to last, but that didn't stop the Nation from stomping across 30 miles of northern Michigan's mud, sand and hills in spitting snow/sleet/rain! And oh, those hills!

Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman headed up to Traverse City early Friday, thinking about trying to ride the finish of the race to get an idea as to the new configuration.  However, it was raining/snowing when they arrived and they instead decided to get settled into their Condo, courtesy of McKeel Hagerty of Hagerty Insurance fame, and then go out to registration and the Bike Expo.  Sharkman was concerned that he needed to be there to sign autographs for his legions of fans who would be turning out to get a glimpse of the cycling icon.

The Bike Expo was by every description, OUTSTANDING!  

Registration was crowded but moved quickly.  Sharkman was a bit disturbed that no one asked for his autograph and completely confused by the fact that no one seemed to recognize the legend, yet Stryker Guy kept getting stopped to talk to by his adoring fans. 

Apparently the guy is a cycling icon! Who knew?

As Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman circled the Expo they ran into a few of the Minions, like Yeti Boy and Brent Slezak.  Yeti Boy reported he had ridden the finish and reported that it was both hilly and technical.  Brent reported that he had been interviewed on local TV!  Yes, even the press in Traverse City wants to interview the Minions!

Zickman joined the group later that evening at the Condo, after the trio had been out to dinner with their host, McKeel.  A big thanks from the Sharkman and his entourage to McKeel for all of his hospitality!

The four riders spent the evening discussing logistics and the weather conditions for the morning as Zickman and Bissell Boy were in waves that were an hour before Sharkman and Stryker Guy.  The weather, which had been predicted to be around 40 and partly sunny was changing……. and not for the better.

The riders woke up to snow and cold in Traverse City.  As they made their way to the finish area to drop off a car, the snow seemed to be increasing and the temps were around 29 degrees. Oh, the humanity!  The colder weather and the north wind were creating some lake effect snow that looked beautiful, but were going to create some slick conditions.  

Game on!  

This would be a real Iceman!

As they worked their way to the start in Kalkasa, the snow stopped and the sun began to play with the clouds as the wind seemed to calm.  The weather was beginning to look more manageable, at least in Kalkaska.  

Zickman's seatless stead!

As the riders began to unload their bikes, Sharkman jokingly commented to Zickman that it was going to be a tough ride without a seat on his bike.  Sharkman had assumed that Zickman had removed the seat to keep it dry on the ride up to Traverse City and that he would be putting it on in the parking lot.  

Au contraire mon frere!! 

As Sharkman and Zickman warmed up by riding in search of a port-a-jon and to get his registration package, Sharkman mentioned that Zickman had forgotten his seat.  

That is when Zickman stunningly revealed that he would be riding without a seat so he would not sit down and lose time!  

Wait? ......What?  .......Can that be right?  

You heard it here first, Bunkie!  Zickman rode the entire race sans seat!  

What a stud (or a nut)!  

Belo News reports, you decide!

MC Hammer & Chumbly

The buzz at the start is always great and Sharkman ran into Chumbly and M.C. Hammer who cheered him on as he started. He also saw Falcon who was heading out in an early wave. 

Sharkman was joined by Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy in his wave, along with the former Senior National Mountain Bike Champion! Talk about pressure!

At 10:36 A.M. Wave 33 which included Sharkman, Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy, took off with partly cloudy skies and 30 degree temperatures.

As the riders got off the streets and onto the trail, they hit their first sand pit and all the problems with getting through that was pretty interesting as a mass of riders fought to get into the right line.  It is always interesting how a rider (or at least Sharkman) forgets the difficulty of sand.  Last year, it was more dry and cold and the sand was hard packed,……however, that was not the case this year.

Iceman virgin, Yeti Boy turns in stellar performance!

The Iceman had increased the number of entrants for 2012 and it is believed the waves had larger numbers of riders rather than more waves.  The Iceman also changed the course, as they do each year, but this year there seemed to be much more single track.  Between the larger number of riders and with more single tracks, the bottlenecks were a major issue this year and at times riders had to stand in line for minutes at a time to get into the single track from two track sections.

As the riders got closer to Traverse City, the sky's darkened and the lake effect snow began to fall.  As they crossed Williamsburg Road, which is considered the halfway point of the race and where the hills really begin, there was a considerable drop in temperatures.  The single track did not let up and the hills got steeper and steeper as the Nation bore down on the finish area.

One of the wild things about this race is how they bring riders near the finish, where they can hear the shouting and cheering, then take them out again for another kilometer or so.  Weaving around those who had to walk up the hills was a major undertaking and anytime our riders got stopped, they too would have to walk, as there was no restarting on the bike halfway up a sandy/muddy hill.

Sharkman was excited, but gassed, as he approached finished and passed two riders at the top of a hill and as he got close to the tape he saw Hoosier Boy on the sidelines cheering him on.  The announcer was naming riders and Sharkman was pleased that his name was called out along with his advanced age, which brought a cheer from the fans.  

However, none of the Minions who had already finished heard the announcement and it is believed they were already in the Bell's Beer tent! 

Hey, where's the love?

Sharkman can walk!

However, good old Bissell Boy was waiting for our hero, having finished with a great time, and cheered as he and Stryker Guy came into the finish and as Sharkmans legs began to cramp.  

Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy had both had stellar first time Iceman's!

Sharkman was 20 minutes slower than last year, but as he talked to other Minions that seemed to be a common finish story as the course was purported to be a mile longer and the increase in single track and bottlenecks seemed to slow everyone down. 

Stryker Guy, a cycling icon!

An interesting aspect of cycling is that when riders are slower, they don't seem to want to give their time.  As Sharkman asked riders how they did, they would say, "fine" or "good" but not give a time, so he suspected that the course was slower this year which the times revealed later.

After a change of clothes, Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman headed to the Bell's Beer tent, while Zickman, who actually rode the entire race without a seat, headed back to Kalkaska to get his car.

Sharkman ran into Gazelle Girl near the beer tent (where else) and learned that her tandem partner couldn't make the race, so she rode the race on her cross bike!  As she has always said, her cross bike is "the sports car of mountain bikes" and to prove it, she had beaten our hero by over 20 minutes! It is hard to believe that anyone could get through those sand sections on a skinnier tire, but she did and did it fast!  

Whoa Bunkie! What a studdette!

Our hero with his hero, Gazelle Girl!

Oh, the humanity!

Stryker Guy again, had an entourage around him as he moved around the finish area.  This guy may have to start his own blog!

The finish area was rocking as riders talked of their "epic" rides and the thrills and spills of this legendary race.  

Sharkman's entourage host, McKeel Hagerty had an outstanding race considering he had not ridden the event in a number of years.

Other Minions who took part were Falcon and his son, the Unnamed Rider, who both had sensational times, particularly with Falcon coming off his major elbow injury/reconstruction.  

Rainman snapped his chain in the final kilometers and had to run his bike in to the roar of the crowd and still had a fast time! 

Wrongway also had a great performance on his new dual suspension single speed!

Hutch, Brewman, Hoosier Boy, Danimal and Polar Bear all reported in with great performances.

For all the finishing results check out the following website;

http://resultsarchive.active.com/pages/displayNonGru.jsp?rsID=136838

We apologize if we missed any Minions, but these are the only riders Belo News was made aware of.

Stryker Guy, Sharkman & Bissell Boy

Mean while, Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman stood with their Bells beverage in hand, with chunks of snow falling into their beer from the trees and splashing the suds on their jackets.  They could only smile with the satisfaction of knowing they had finished this epic ride and were now enjoying beer enhanced by falling snow.  Pure Michigan, eh Bunkie?

Is this a great State or what?

After some Mac and Cheese (Sharkman loves the Mac and Cheese at the food court of the finish area as he needs comfort food after an "epic" ride!), they decided to head back to the Condo to meet Zickman and to shower their wet and cold bodies.  

However, Sharkman did have to get in and out of the car a few times with foot cramps, however, he did make it on his third try.

Sherpa, Buick Boy, Bissell Boy, Iceman, Nick Head, Cleary & Zickman party!

Some of the Team Taylor riders showed up at the condo to celebrate along with their Super Sherpa who had done the logistics for them. (see photo). Super Sherpa, Iceman, Nick Head, Buick Boy and Cleary all reported solid performances.  The entire group partied as they watched the MSU/Nebraska game and drank a few adult beverages.

It was another great Iceman and everyone was already talking about next year!

Bissell Boy kicks back to watch the Spartans!

If you would like to see some photos from the Iceman you can find them at this link:

http://www.jhkunnenphoto.com/p765165091

And for the Velo News story on the event, check out:

http://velonews.competitor.com/2012/11/news/mountain/iceman-comeths-steve-brown-a-simple-ride-spawns-insane-race_264144

Hopefully even more of the Minions Nation will be able to make it next year!

THIS SATURDAY, FINAL FT. CUSTER RIDE BEFORE DEER SEASON!

Belo News

November 8, 2012

Ft. Custer, Mi. - One of the big questions at Iceman was, "will there be anymore mountain bike rides at the Fort?"

Oh, yes there will be Bunkie! Well, at least one more!

You asked for it and you will get it!

The weather is looking good for this Saturday and Deer Season opens the week after, so get those mountain bikes ready to ride!

This Saturday, November 10, 2012

Meet at the Ft. Custer Trail Head!

9:00 A.M. launch - SHARP!  

We'll let it warm up at bit!

Be there!

GUZZLE DOWN FOR THE TOWN!

Date Correction! - New Date!

Join the fun on Monday January 7, 2013!

Belo News

November 7, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - The date for Acradia's Ales hosting of "Guzzle One Down for the Town" event has changed from  December 3, 2012 to Monday, January 7, 2012.  

This event is for the Calhoun County Trailway! Proceeds from beer sales that night will go to the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance. 

Please support this fantastic event! 

Special thanks to Arcadia for supporting this great cause!

Here is the link to the event:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/287710781339507/

Drink beer AND help the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance?!?  Is this a great country or what!

Sharkman plans to be there, and he hopes you will be too!   Besides, what else is there to do on a cold winter's Monday night, eh Bunkie?

Saturday morning at Ft. Custer!

SHARKMAN RETURNS!

WHERE WERE ALL THE MINIONS?

BIKER CHICKS?

CYCLO-CROSS MINIONS!

Belo News

October 20, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - After being in Ireland for two weeks, and having not been on the bike for close to three, our intrepid hero awoke in the dark with trepidation as he contemplated a long ride at Ft. Custer.

Yeti Boy pulled into the Cove in his old pick up truck and Sharkman loaded up his stead in the back.

The two discussed the fact that they had both been off the bike and with the Iceman two weeks away, they obsessed about lack of training.  

Yeti Boy & Sharkman with their fans!

When the two Minions arrived at the Klutch, they were greeted by the Saturday early morning crew and Mary, Chief Minion Fan, came over to sit with the boys.  As more of the early morning crew came in, two more ladies joined the discussion as Yeti Boy gave a primer on the inconsistency of protein in store bought flour.  Once Sharkman introduced Yeti Boy as a famous baker of bread, the discussion turned to baking, flour and protein.  

Sharkman began to worry, as 8:00 a.m. rolled around, that no other Minions had come in for Koffee and he assumed they would be at the trail head.

At 8:00 a.m. - SHARP - the two riders bid a fond farewell to the biker chicks, and headed to the fort.  It was one of those drop dead gorgeous days that Michigan and the Fort are famous for.  The sun was breaking through the clouds with duck hunters sitting at the edge of lake Whitaker as our two heroes rode to the trail head.

Much to their surprise, the only Minion in the parking lot was Brewman, but he was ready to ride.  The three hearty Minions waited until 8:30 a.m. and when no one arrived, they took off to do the Blue, then the Red trails.

As our hero started the "Trenches" section he got a text message and wondered if someone had arrived late at the Trail Head.  But, as we all know, when Sharkman says, 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! he means SHARP and he kept on riding. He wasn't going to stop and pull his phone out of his Camel Back for a late Minion!

The day got even more beautiful as the three riders circled Whitaker Lake and headed into the Red Trail.  When they approached the Trail Head, Brewman said he was going back out to do the Green, as Yeti Boy and Sharkman headed back to the Klutch.  

As the two riders came out of Ft. Custer, it began to drizzle and Sharkman was glad he had gotten his ride in early.  When they got back to the Klutch, they had ridden 24 miles and were feeling marginally better about their training.  AS they got into the truck, Sharkman checked that Text Message….it was from Rainman.  "Ride this morning?  I looked at the radar and drew the white flag….."

Sharkman responded, "Wussy! Just finished 25 miles and only started raining when we got back to the Klutch." To which Rainman responded, "LOL, I'm packing up to go now!

Rainman found out the hard way and rode in the rain anyway!

Unfortunately, Lava Girl has other plans for our intrepid hero this week, so he will not be able to ride this Saturday and the following Saturday is the Iceman.  He is hoping to see a lot of the Minion Nation up at the Iceman this year!!

Watch for a report on the Iceman in an upcoming issue (if our hero survives...) of your source for all your cycling information, the Belo News!

Dr. Dave shows winning form!

MIGHTY MINION NATION TAKES CYCLO-CROSS BY STORM!

Belo News

October 14, 2012

Caledonia, Mi. - As the mighty Minion Nation is aware, it is cycle-cross season and that means great racing at the Krisscross series of races across Western Michigan.

It also means the mighty Minion Nation is partaking of these events and doing pretty darn well!

Kato & Green Hornet...

Our own Dr. Dave recently won his first C Division Race and will be promoted to the "Big Boys" in the next couple of weeks!

Other riders who did well in the "B" group were the Green Hornet and Kato, Brewman and Ironman!

As Dr. Dave was quoted as saying, "One cyclo-cross race under my belt.  Will ride with the big boys in three weeks. Must do more intervals!  Great anaerobic fun!  Most fun since the North Country Trail Relay.

Liking Mud, Sweat and Cowbells."  

Ironmand & Brewman

We couldn't have said it better, Dr. Dave and thanks for the report!

For more information on these great races, check out the website;

http://www.kisscross.com

GUZZLE DOWN FOR THE TOWN!

Join the fun on December 3, 2012!

Belo News

December 3, 2012 

Battle Creek, Mi. - Minions!  Mark your calendars!

Arcadia Ales will be hosting a "Guzzle One Down for the Town" event on December 3, 2012 for the Calhoun County Trailway! Proceeds from beer sales that night will go to the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance. 

Please support this fantastic event! 

Special thanks to Arcadia for supporting this great cause!

Here is the link to the event:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/287710781339507/

Editors Note - Drink beer AND help the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance?!?  Is this a great country or what!

Sharkman plans to be there, and he hopes you will be too!  

The Mighty Minion Nation's Season Ender!

HUGE TURN OUT FOR THE FINAL KK-TDG

IRONMAN TAKES THE FINALE!

THE KLUTCH ROCKS WITH MINIONS!

LAST ROAD RIDE OF THE SEASON! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

September 29, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Is there anything as beautiful as a fall morning in Western Michigan?  Belo News doesn't think so!

This past Saturday was one of those picture perfect days that come in the fall, with crisp, cool air and brilliant colors that pop out as a rider heads to the start of the final road ride of the KK-TdG season.

Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, rolled out of his Sharkbed in the Cove thinking, "how could the season be over already?" but knowing that all good things must come to an end and with his upcoming two week trip, and everyone needing to move to the mountain bike in preparation for the Iceman, it was just a good time to wind things down.  But, it was hard to think about with the weather so great!

The old Shark had to put on his lights as dawn had not yet broken over the Cove as he headed out to the start.

As he turned on to Watkins Road he noticed a biker on the side of the road in the dark working on his tire.  The beam of Sharkman's bike light revealed the rider to be Mad Dog, who was already complaining that it was the third flat on that wheel since last Saturday's rainy ride.  Mad Dog told Sharkman to go ahead to insure the start and told him he would catch on.

As Sharkman arrived into the parking lot, in drove Yeti Boy, who jumped out of his car in riding shorts and said, "Whew, I didn't realize it was this cold!"  When Sharkman left the cove, the shark thermometer read 44 degrees and it seemed to have gotten colder during the ride over!  Undeterred, Yeti Boy began pulling his bike out and getting ready as he blew on his hands to get a bit of warmth on his ungloved mitts.

Hoosier Boy rode in with a coffee travel mug in his bottle cage (has this guy got class or what?), followed by All Black who had been missing in action the past few weeks.

Bissell Boy, Wildman and Zickman then rode in followed by Mad Dog, who was able to get his tire fixed, Ox, Kid Gallagher, Boatman, Skipper, Pirate, B-Rod, Cannon, Rainman, and Danimal.  Though there was nothing formal, 6 of the riders were wearing Bissell Kit, probably because it is the best warm riding gear they own (see photo).

The Skipper back to lead the Nation!

Skipper took charge and told the Nation to saddle up to head out.  The sound of shoes "clicking in"to pedals resounded around the school parking lot and the Mighty Minion Nation was pulling out of the station for the final ride of the year.

The Minions were stopped by the light in town and the early morning group at the Klutch waved our hero's on as they rode by and picked up Stingray who had parked at the Klutch and had ridden north to warm up.

Other Minions jumped on as the train pulled out of town, with Ironman, Falcon, Stryker Guy (who had started the morning with a flat) and Kid Doster all joining on.  The count was 23 or 24 Minios as the Skipper led the train out of town.

The Pirate and Wildman took over and led our hero out to the honorary sprint where he attempted to get an official count, but as we all know, he has a problem counting over 20.  Suffice it to say there were around 23-24 riders on this beautiful fall morning. We apologize if we missed anyone.....

The Minions were very sociable and the chatter went on through the next sprint and into the climb at the col de Twin Lakes where the sun danced across the water creating a fine, morning mist.

Falcon in his Shark Jersey was looking good!

As the Nation moved past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner (where Bissell Boy had to drop off) and into the Kountry Klub section, "mechanical" rang out in the peloton and the Nation splintered.  There were some who thought it was just a thrown chain and others who said it was a flat, so Sharkman decided to go back to find out. 

Sharkman found Rainman on the side of the road working on his tire, with major supervision from several Minions, including the Skipper, Hoosier Boy, Kid Doster and Falcon who road back  and continued to claim it was the slowest tire change on record.

The Nation came back together at Rt. 43 and stayed together through the Bible Conference Hills, Frona's and then all watched Zickman take the Inlet Sprint hammering that wooden bike like a lumberjack on a tree trunk. You could almost smell wood smoldering as he went by!

Rainman got into a discussion with the Pirate and the Skipper, who both had to jump off at Yorkville, and almost missed the turn on to 37th, which was finally open and paved smoother than a baby's butt.  It was good to be back on 37th Street!

It had been a while since the Nation had lined up for a pace line, so Sharkman went to the front and led it off.  Taking the speed up on the smooth road, the pace line hit speeds of 23-24 mph as the Nation performed a half way decent pace line until they got close to the G Ave. sprint where the nation broke a part.

As the Nation crossed the GGG Spot, Sharkman cautioned everyone to watch their lines as it looked like there would be a bunch finish with no Tow Truck or Hossman to pull the nation apart.

Sharkman jumped to the front with Ox and Stingray on his wheel.  After a minute or so at the front, Sharkman pulled off and Ox took over.  As Sharkman moved back, Stingray, a couple of bike lengths backed, told him to go ahead an move in.  "Move in?"  Where were the Minions?

As Ox and Sharkman threw themselves on their swords, they approached the ascent to the final sprint when Ox asked Sharkman, "are we the only ones pulling?" and "where is everyone?"

Sharkman replied, "Oh, they're there, they are just waiting to make their moves…."

At the top of the hill, Mad Dog broke loose with a huge surge, with Minions all over his butt!

Sharkman feared for the worse as the mighty Minion Nation bore down on the finish like a herd of buffalo with riders all over the road, fighting for position!

Ironman clinches the final!

But the Minions did hold their lines and though there was some minor "bumping,"it was a clean finish and Ironman took the sprint, with B-Rod and Canon on his tail.

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the tofosi turned out to see their heroes for the final time this season and the riders zipped up their jerseys for the sponsores.

The Klutch was crowded and rocking as one of the bigger turn outs of the year seemed to all stop for a a bottomless kup of joe.

There were Minions all over the Klutch and Luann had to reload and brew more koffee as she ran out after the first round.  Falcon, always wanting to get his name in the news, actually bought Sharkman's Bottomless Kup and all was well with the Nation.

Another great year for the Mighty Minion Nation!

However, it is not really over!

Sharkman will be taking a brief two weeks hiatus but hopes to be back to lead the Nation on some Ft. Custer riding on October 20th.  Watch for an email update on Friday October 19 for a Saturday morning ride!

Minions will either meet at the Klutch and ride into the Ft. or can meet at the trailhead.  Times to be determined (based on daylight).  These will be informal rides with several levels of riding ability.  So if you haven't ridden in a while, blow the dust off that mountain bike and get it ready!  

Or, get your cyclocross bike ready! As Gazelle Girl says, "the cyclocross bike is the 'sports car' of mountain biking!"

Thanks to the Mighty Minion Nation for another magical season on the field of dreams we have come to know as the KK-TdG!

Thanks to Luann and our home, the Koffee Klutch, for putting up with the Nation on Saturday mornings and for the best Koffee anywhere!

Wrongway fixes tire while B-Rod takes notes.

MINIONS RULE AT APPLE CIDER CENTURY!

Belo News

September 30, 2012

Three Oaks, Mi. - Rainman led a talented group of Minions at this years Apple Cider Century, the largest one day ride in America!

Riding over in the Team Active Van, Rainman and Wrongway met up with B-Rod for the famous ride.  Airman and Dutch were also suppose to be in the mix, but Airman was sick and Dutch had broken his collar bone, so the Minion threesome headed out and despite a flat tire experienced by Wrongway, had a great ride! B-Rod was quoted as saying it was his longest one day ride!

You did the Nation proud Minions!

Pirate turns 60 but rides like he's 20!

RAINED OUT, OR NOT?

THE PIRATES TAKES VICTORY ON HIS 60TH BIRTHDAY!

B-ROD BUYS!

TUESDAY NIGHT PIZZA!

LAST ROAD RIDE OF THE SEASON THIS SATURDAY! 

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

September 22, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Things looked pretty bleak at the Shark Cove as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, poured over weather charts under the green glow of the Shark Radar.  It was pouring rain when he threw back the Shark Bed Spread and padded to the Shark Weather Room concerned about the sound of rain on the Cove roof.  The radar was not re-assuring…….

The Commissioner of Cycling hates those days when the weather isn't easy to predict.  Cancel the ride and the sun almost always comes out, go ahead with the ride and the Minions get soaked.  

Though it did look like there was a break in the rain, it looked like it would be very short lived.  Sharkman, needing to post a cancellation at least an hour before start time so that the Nation knows, was under the gun to get the cancellation out so at 7:30 a.m. the decision was made to cancel the ride.

Sharkman, at weather central immediately got a response from Bissell Boy stating "good call." 

Yeti Boy also sent a quick note wanting to know if Sharkman was up for a ride later in the morning if the rain stopped.

Sharkman then noticed that the sun was breaking through the eastern clouds, but the radar still showed rain heading in from the west, out over 131 just west of Kalamazoo.  He told Yeti Boy he was heading down to the basement to ride his trainer.

When Sharkman came back upstairs from his workout, it was pouring rain once again and he felt justified in his call. He then checked his email and there was a note from the Green Hornet stating "38F and snow up here in Wisco - we're riding!!! Suck it up Sharkman!" 

Oh, the humanity!

However, it was still pouring rain when the old Shark headed out to the Western Michigan Bronco game and he felt good about the call.

When he got home from the game, there were two emails.  One from Squeaky, the Style Guy, and one from the Pirate!

Yes, four Minions showed up to ride!  The old Shark didn't know whether to congratulate them OR have them committed, but here are their stories;

The Pirate:

Although you canceled, there were four who showed up for this historic ride.  Is this a great country or what?  

As I hauled my sorry butt out of bed, I notice that there was this bright Orb in the eastern sky.  Throwing my bike in the car I made it to the starting line with B-Rod, MadDog and Squeaky biting at the bit for a fast and furious ride.

There was a four way tie at the honorary Sharkman first sprint, so the decision was settled that our beloved HERO took the first sprint!!

The pace began to increase when Squeaky finally got into the top ring with and incredible 21.5 mph (do you believe that??) well we were there so no one can dispute us!!!

MadDog had some bad luck with not one but two flat tires.  The decision was to ride down 37 Street which was the right decision.  Riding on smooth blacktop was like riding on glass.  The final sprint was led by B-Rod with Pirate on his wheel, Squeaky tried to pass, but in the end the Pirate would not be denied on the birthday ride winning by several bike length!!  

Mrs. Pirate surprised him by bringing balloons and signs for him at the Koffee Klutch!  

Thanks B-Rod for the free coffee!

Pirate

Style Guy!

Squeaky, the Style Guy:

You missed it. 

I think I counted at least 25 - would you believe 4 riders, and I think 5 squirrels who joined along the way. 

But not a drop fell until after the ride ended. I was warm with my winter gloves - and so ends another year for me. (Editor's Note - Say it ain't so, Squeaky!)

As far as I remember I was at least 3rd in every sprint! :-) 

I will let another of the great writers fill in some of the other details.

Take care feeding all the little sharklets until next spring.

Squeaky - the Style Guy

(Editors Note - Thanks for the write ups, gentlemen, and nice ride.  But like the NFL, the Commissioner of Cycling is sticking with his call…..of course, he also has no other choice!)

This Saturday, September 29, 2012

Last Road Ride of the Year!

Launch Time 8:30 A.M. - SHARP!

You won't want to miss the last ride of the year!  

Sharkman will be gone for two weeks, but hopes to start up Ft. Custer rides when he returns on October, 20, 2012 in preparation for Iceman!

So watch for future ride announcements later in October.

See you all on Saturday!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

Tardette and Stingray enjoying Arcadia Pizza!

Gala Arcadia Pizza Party!

Baby Sleeper Hold Demo!

Belo News

September 25, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - It was the final night of the Tuesday Night Chain Gang and 5 hearty Minions showed up to ride into yet another SSW wind!  Rainman, Hoosier Boy, Polar Bear, Stingray and Sharkman toed the line for the final summer ride.  Each of the riders rode a bit harder, knowing there was pizza waiting at Arcadia after the ride.  The five "horseman of the peloton" marched through Augusta, up the G Ave. Sprint, stayed together on 37th and returned all taking short, quick stretches and the front and bringing the ride in at 21.4 mph despite the strong SSW winds (it was Tuesday night alright.).

Wrongway and Lava Girl!

After the ride, Lava Girl, Tardette and Raindrop, as well as Yeti Boy and Wrongway joined the riders to celebrate the end of the season at Arcadia with beer and pizza.  Raindrop was a major hit as Yeti Boy demonstrated his "baby sleeper hold" on the young rider.  It was Raindrops first bike party and it completely wore her out.  Tardette reported that Yeti Boys "baby sleeper hold" worked so good that the little rider slept the entire night! Is this a great country or what?  Polar Bear bought the first round of drinks as a good time was had by all! 

Yeti Boy teaching "Baby Sleeper Hold."

The riders regaled each other with their riding prowess over the past season as Lava Girl and Tardette mollified themselves with beer and pizza.

And so another Tuesday Night Chain Gang Season draws to and end.  

But as all the Cubs fans say, "Wait till next year!"

"just get Raindrop positioned..."

"And that is how it is done, Rainman....."

BOFFO RETURNS TO GET THE MINIONS "MOVING!"

Free Breakfast!  What a great country!

IRONMAN TAKES THE DAY!

GRATUITOUS PANDERING?

OBERON JERSEY DAY PLUS RED HOOK?

ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT THIS SEASON! OH, THE HUMANITY!

TUESDAY NIGHT PIZZA! OH, THE HUMANITY AGAIN!

Belo News

September 15, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - This past Saturday's ride had a special surprise twist to it that made the day one to remember!

In addition to some great fall weather, sunshine and a good turn out, the mighty Nation got a free breakfast, courtesy of the First Clown of the peloton, Boffo hizzelf!

Little did our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, know, as he pulled his sorry dorsal out of bed on Saturday morning, that he would be treated to "Breakfast on Boffo" later in the day.

He and Lava Girl had been out dancing the previous evening and somehow, our hero got over served and was feeling a bit "out of sorts" as the shark alarm went off.

Oberon rules!

As our hero cleared his head as he rode over to the start with Mad Dog and Yeti Boy, lights flashing in the dark, wearing jackets, leg warmers and gloves to keep them warm in the 43 degree temps he didn't know what to expect. The three riders talked about the impending fall that seemed to be quickly approaching.

Sharkman commented that it might be difficult to see if anyone had their Oberon/Bells Jersey's on because of the need for warmth on this clear but cool day.

As the riders began arriving, Sharkman noticed a new rider who explained that he had been told about the ride by Ranger Rick.  The rider introduced himself as "Scarl" as he made it apparent that he brought his own nickname.  Had someone said something to him, Sharkman wondered….."  

Virgin Minion Scarl waits for breakfast!

Sharkman welcomed the "Virgin Minion" to the peloton!  Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Scarl!

Of course Ranger Rick pulled in later, along with Zickman, wearing a Red Hook Brewery Jersey claiming he didn't have a Bell's Jersey, along with Stryker Guy and Brewman in their Bell's Jersey's.  The Green Hornet, Bio-waste (who seemed to appear from thin air), Cannon, and Airman also joined on as the Nation pulled out of the parking lot and through town to the waves and cheers of Luann and the Klutch Tofosi.  

Riders jumped on and off throughout the ride, with Ironman and later, Falcon, wearing his Oberon Jersey, and Kid Doster jumping on as the train headed north, but alas, no Gazelle Girl to the pelotons regrets.  

Mad Dog and Cannon lead our hero out to the honorary first sprint and again, made the old Shark work way to hard.  At the post ride Press Conference, the season weary Shark mumbled that next season he is going have to either slow the young Minions down or give up the honor!

Yeti Boy pealed off at the Yorkville Church as he was heading over the the Michigan Game.

What Oberon Jersey?

As is the Nations routine, the peloton picked up speed as they moved through Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and up to the Rt. 43 Stop Ahead Sprint.

The ride was lively and the group pretty much stayed together through the second half of the ride, through the Frona, Inlet and G Ave. Sprint past Sherman Lake.

The Nation played fair on G Ave. and came together for the sprint, though a number of riders had dropped off as they rode around the lake.

Normally, in this section, someone heads out and the average speed goes up a few ticks, but on Saturday, no one seemed to want to lead out and a very orderly pace line formed up.

At the top of the final ascent to the finish, the Nation was still together and Sharkman was having concerns about a bunch finish just as Cannon shot to the front with a cast of thousands on his wheel!  

Zickman attempted to make a move, but due to some "splintering" near his crank that created some kindling, along with the speed of his cadence, a small wood fire broke out on his wooden bike and he had to slow to extinguish the blaze.  

Zickman was on fire all day!

Again, the Nation performed flawlessly in holding their lines as Ironman, Falcon, Kid Doster, Brewman and Mad Dog jumped on.  

Ironman was able to time his attack on the young Cannon perfectly and with Falcon on his wheel they went by Cannon to battle it out to the finish.

Ironman took the sprint with Falcon in second and Cannon taking the final spot on the podium.  Kid Doster and Sharkman were right behind the threesome.

As Ironman, Falcon, Cannon and Sharkman crossed over to the road to the Champs le Galesburg, a train came through separating the peloton and depriving the tofosi and Paparatzzi of seeing all of their hero's as the rest of the peloton rode straight to the Klutch.

Boffo wrestling up breakfast for the Nation!

Sharkman, hoping someone was ordering him a dark roast, bottomless Koffee, pulled up to the Klutch to see Boffo the Clown, in his apron, preparing an oatmeal breakfast for the mighty Nation!

Boffo has a business called Factory Free Oats and you can learn more at his website:

 http://www.factoryfreeoats.com/

Boffo was using some of the recipe's that can be found at the site and Sharkman and the hungry nation began porking the stuff down like they hadn't been feed in months.  Boffo told the nation that the fiber in the product was fantastic and that the oats would certainly get the Nation "moving!"

The affect of the oats on the nation became apparent as the sprint to the restroom was won by Sharkman, who elbowed out three Minions and a little old lady who was about to enter the restroom. Our apology to the nice lady....Oh, the humanity.

Where can I buy this great stuff, Boffo?

Zickman was really into it as you can see from the photos and the Nation began purchasing bags of the oats like they were absconding bags of jewels.  

Watching the Nation fill their jersey's with bags of oats was extremely entertaining for the Klutch crowd and as the Nation will see when they go to the site, you can order the oats on line.  There are also some stores locally that have the mills where you can purchase these delicious oats.

A big thanks to Boffo for a great breakfast and to Luann and the Klutch for letting the clown come in and serve the starving riders!

More please.....

It was a victory for America!  Is this a great country or what?

What will happen this week?  Who knows?

Come on out to ride and be a part of the Nation!

The season is drawing to a close and the Commissioner of Cycling has announced that the road season will end on September 29.  Our hero will be leaving for Ireland to tour and visit family on October 2 and be gone for two Saturdays.  When he returns, watch for a mountain bike rides from the Klutch on Saturday mornings so the Nation can prepare for the Iceman in November.

Minions chow down!

This Saturday, September 22, 2012

NEW TIME - NEW TIME - NEW TIME!

Launch Time - 8:30 A.M. - SHARP!

This stuff rocks!

Be there!

LATE BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN!

DUTCH CRASHES - BREAKS CLAVICLE!

Belo News
September 12, 2012

Galesburg, Mi. - (Late Breaking News) As we went to press, Facebook was reporting that the self proclaimed handsomest guy in the peloton, Dutch, had crashed on a training ride and broke his clavicle!   Details are sketchy, and we hope to have more for our readers next week, but early this week he reports he hit a branch in the road and went down.  He has already started training on his indoor trainer.

Get well soon, Dutch and keep us posted on your recovery!  The Nation will hold a spot in the peloton for you!

DUAL EYEWEAR ROCKS!

Belo News

September 19, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Since we have plugged Factory Free Oats, Belo News also wanted to give some gratuitous endorsement to another product.  

As the Nation is aware, Sharkman has sung the praises of Dual Eyewear sunglasses since he got them earlier this season. The old Shark found an ad in Velo News about the new glasses and the price was right.  He also purchased extra lenses and prefers the amber lenses, particularly in the fall of the year when the sun is low.

These glasses have built in "readers" for those of the peloton who have attained an age of wisdom, but have also begun to lose their ability to see their own bike computers right in front of them and don't want the embarrassment of putting a three foot extender on the front of their bikes so they can read how fast they are riding (oh, the humanity).  

Several of the Minions have purchased these glasses on Sharkman's endorsement and also rave about them.  Actually, Sharkman informed one of the Bike Shop Owners about them and that owner has reached out to Dual Eyewear to see if he can stock them.

While Sharkman was out mountain biking with his son in law, in Santa Fe, the right temple piece snapped as he was putting the glasses on and he was unsure how they caught and broke. He was devastated. But he immediately sent an email to Dual Eye asking what he could do.  He sent the email on a Friday evening and on Monday morning, at approximately 8:20 a.m., he had a personal email from Kyle with Customer Service at Dual Eyewear telling him that they would put a new temple piece in the mail to him immediately!  When he returned to the Shark Cove, the piece was waiting for him, and it even had a new screw for the piece!

Is this a great company or what?  What great customer service!  A company that actually stands behind it's product!  How refreshing!

Dual Eyewear rocks!

If you want to learn more about these sunglasses, that have now become our hero's primary sunglasses, check them out at;

http://www.dualeyewear.com/

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!

New Time for Next Week - Pizza at Arcadia!

Belo News

September 18, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - The wind was cranking, so the Nation knew it was time for the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang ride!

Or at least they thought it was!  

When Airman sent out the email reminder in the morning, only a few Minions had reported that they would be in attendance for the ride this week.  Later in the day, Sharkman had been out golfing and after getting caught in the rain and getting a text from the Battle Creek Police Department Nixle system, warning that wind gusts were reported to be at 37 mph with a chance of rain he re-thought riding.  The winds on the golf course were pushing putts off line (or at least that was the excuse Sharkman was using).

Sharkman sent out a note to see if the riders were still going to show before he suited up to ride downtown and everyone seemed to agree that the ride should be cancelled.

The Commissioner of Cycling has declared that Next Tuesday will be the last ride of the season and it will start at 5:30 p.m. because of daylight issues.

Tuesday Night, launch time 5:30 p.m. - Sharp!

Kellogg Headquarters Upper Parking Lot.

Since Sharkman has been riding every Tuesday night for the summer, Lava Girl informs him that he owes her some pizza, so after the ride next Tuesday, the riders and spouses and significant others will meet at Arcadia (approximately 7:15 p.m) at Arcadia to celebrate a great summer season of riding!  Don't make Lava Girl and Sharkman eat alone! 

Be there!

WHAT DO THESE TWO MINIONS HAVE IN COMMON?

Belo News Contest

September 12, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Come on, Minions!  There were only two of you who tried to figure out the connection between these two photos and who the riders are!  You can do better than that!  Both riders submissions were incorrect, though one was close.  

So here we go again!*

Name this rider!

It has been a while since we have had a good contest in the pages of Belo News, so get ready!  Here is your opportunity to win a chance to buy Sharkman a kup of koffee at the Klutch!

The following picture below taken during the Bloody 'Ell 'Undered three weeks  ago as one of our part time Minions checked out this unique bike.

The photo to the right was taken last a couple weeks ago as this Minion was checking ears of corn (we've been checking our corn on the cob ever since getting this photo in the news room) or something like that.  Actually not really sure.

So, the big contest is can you name the two riders and what is the common link between them?

Who is this famous rider?

If you think you can name the riders AND the common link, send your answer to Belo News and win a "chance" to buy koffee for the Sharkman!  Yes, you can actually buy our hero a kup if you can get the answer to this stumper!**

Oh, the humanity!

The answer will be posted in next weeks edition!***

(*Yes, we remembered, but might not next week. Enter now to win! (see rules below)

(**This contest is void where prohibited by stupid laws.  Employees of Belo News are ineligible to take part and should get back to work finding all available cycling news for the Minion Nation and should be happy they have a job even though it doesn't pay anything.  Dr. Dave and Kid Gallagher are not eligible to take part in the contest, but may buy Sharkman koffee any time they wish.)

(***Belo News is unable to guarantee that the answer will be published next week as we may forget……)