BOFFO RETURNS TO GET THE MINIONS "MOVING!"
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| Free Breakfast! What a great country! |
IRONMAN TAKES THE DAY!
GRATUITOUS PANDERING?
OBERON JERSEY DAY PLUS RED HOOK?
ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT THIS SEASON! OH, THE HUMANITY!
TUESDAY NIGHT PIZZA! OH, THE HUMANITY AGAIN!
Belo News
September 15, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. - This past Saturday's ride had a special surprise twist to it that made the day one to remember!
In addition to some great fall weather, sunshine and a good turn out, the mighty Nation got a free breakfast, courtesy of the First Clown of the peloton, Boffo hizzelf!
Little did our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, know, as he pulled his sorry dorsal out of bed on Saturday morning, that he would be treated to "Breakfast on Boffo" later in the day.
He and Lava Girl had been out dancing the previous evening and somehow, our hero got over served and was feeling a bit "out of sorts" as the shark alarm went off.
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| Oberon rules! |
As our hero cleared his head as he rode over to the start with Mad Dog and Yeti Boy, lights flashing in the dark, wearing jackets, leg warmers and gloves to keep them warm in the 43 degree temps he didn't know what to expect. The three riders talked about the impending fall that seemed to be quickly approaching.
Sharkman commented that it might be difficult to see if anyone had their Oberon/Bells Jersey's on because of the need for warmth on this clear but cool day.
As the riders began arriving, Sharkman noticed a new rider who explained that he had been told about the ride by Ranger Rick. The rider introduced himself as "Scarl" as he made it apparent that he brought his own nickname. Had someone said something to him, Sharkman wondered….."
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| Virgin Minion Scarl waits for breakfast! |
Sharkman welcomed the "Virgin Minion" to the peloton! Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Scarl!
Of course Ranger Rick pulled in later, along with Zickman, wearing a Red Hook Brewery Jersey claiming he didn't have a Bell's Jersey, along with Stryker Guy and Brewman in their Bell's Jersey's. The Green Hornet, Bio-waste (who seemed to appear from thin air), Cannon, and Airman also joined on as the Nation pulled out of the parking lot and through town to the waves and cheers of Luann and the Klutch Tofosi.
Riders jumped on and off throughout the ride, with Ironman and later, Falcon, wearing his Oberon Jersey, and Kid Doster jumping on as the train headed north, but alas, no Gazelle Girl to the pelotons regrets.
Mad Dog and Cannon lead our hero out to the honorary first sprint and again, made the old Shark work way to hard. At the post ride Press Conference, the season weary Shark mumbled that next season he is going have to either slow the young Minions down or give up the honor!
Yeti Boy pealed off at the Yorkville Church as he was heading over the the Michigan Game.
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| What Oberon Jersey? |
As is the Nations routine, the peloton picked up speed as they moved through Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and up to the Rt. 43 Stop Ahead Sprint.
The ride was lively and the group pretty much stayed together through the second half of the ride, through the Frona, Inlet and G Ave. Sprint past Sherman Lake.
The Nation played fair on G Ave. and came together for the sprint, though a number of riders had dropped off as they rode around the lake.
Normally, in this section, someone heads out and the average speed goes up a few ticks, but on Saturday, no one seemed to want to lead out and a very orderly pace line formed up.
At the top of the final ascent to the finish, the Nation was still together and Sharkman was having concerns about a bunch finish just as Cannon shot to the front with a cast of thousands on his wheel!
Zickman attempted to make a move, but due to some "splintering" near his crank that created some kindling, along with the speed of his cadence, a small wood fire broke out on his wooden bike and he had to slow to extinguish the blaze.
Zickman was on fire all day!
Again, the Nation performed flawlessly in holding their lines as Ironman, Falcon, Kid Doster, Brewman and Mad Dog jumped on.
Ironman was able to time his attack on the young Cannon perfectly and with Falcon on his wheel they went by Cannon to battle it out to the finish.
Ironman took the sprint with Falcon in second and Cannon taking the final spot on the podium. Kid Doster and Sharkman were right behind the threesome.
As Ironman, Falcon, Cannon and Sharkman crossed over to the road to the Champs le Galesburg, a train came through separating the peloton and depriving the tofosi and Paparatzzi of seeing all of their hero's as the rest of the peloton rode straight to the Klutch.
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| Boffo wrestling up breakfast for the Nation! |
Sharkman, hoping someone was ordering him a dark roast, bottomless Koffee, pulled up to the Klutch to see Boffo the Clown, in his apron, preparing an oatmeal breakfast for the mighty Nation!
Boffo has a business called Factory Free Oats and you can learn more at his website:
Boffo was using some of the recipe's that can be found at the site and Sharkman and the hungry nation began porking the stuff down like they hadn't been feed in months. Boffo told the nation that the fiber in the product was fantastic and that the oats would certainly get the Nation "moving!"
The affect of the oats on the nation became apparent as the sprint to the restroom was won by Sharkman, who elbowed out three Minions and a little old lady who was about to enter the restroom. Our apology to the nice lady....Oh, the humanity.
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| Where can I buy this great stuff, Boffo? |
Zickman was really into it as you can see from the photos and the Nation began purchasing bags of the oats like they were absconding bags of jewels.
Watching the Nation fill their jersey's with bags of oats was extremely entertaining for the Klutch crowd and as the Nation will see when they go to the site, you can order the oats on line. There are also some stores locally that have the mills where you can purchase these delicious oats.
A big thanks to Boffo for a great breakfast and to Luann and the Klutch for letting the clown come in and serve the starving riders!
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| More please..... |
It was a victory for America! Is this a great country or what?
What will happen this week? Who knows?
Come on out to ride and be a part of the Nation!
The season is drawing to a close and the Commissioner of Cycling has announced that the road season will end on September 29. Our hero will be leaving for Ireland to tour and visit family on October 2 and be gone for two Saturdays. When he returns, watch for a mountain bike rides from the Klutch on Saturday mornings so the Nation can prepare for the Iceman in November.
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| Minions chow down! |
This Saturday, September 22, 2012
NEW TIME - NEW TIME - NEW TIME!
Launch Time - 8:30 A.M. - SHARP!
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| This stuff rocks! |
Be there!
LATE BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN!
DUTCH CRASHES - BREAKS CLAVICLE!
Belo News
September 12, 2012
Galesburg, Mi. - (Late Breaking News) As we went to press, Facebook was reporting that the self proclaimed handsomest guy in the peloton, Dutch, had crashed on a training ride and broke his clavicle! Details are sketchy, and we hope to have more for our readers next week, but early this week he reports he hit a branch in the road and went down. He has already started training on his indoor trainer.
Get well soon, Dutch and keep us posted on your recovery! The Nation will hold a spot in the peloton for you!
DUAL EYEWEAR ROCKS!
Belo News
September 19, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. - Since we have plugged Factory Free Oats, Belo News also wanted to give some gratuitous endorsement to another product.
As the Nation is aware, Sharkman has sung the praises of Dual Eyewear sunglasses since he got them earlier this season. The old Shark found an ad in Velo News about the new glasses and the price was right. He also purchased extra lenses and prefers the amber lenses, particularly in the fall of the year when the sun is low.
These glasses have built in "readers" for those of the peloton who have attained an age of wisdom, but have also begun to lose their ability to see their own bike computers right in front of them and don't want the embarrassment of putting a three foot extender on the front of their bikes so they can read how fast they are riding (oh, the humanity).
Several of the Minions have purchased these glasses on Sharkman's endorsement and also rave about them. Actually, Sharkman informed one of the Bike Shop Owners about them and that owner has reached out to Dual Eyewear to see if he can stock them.
While Sharkman was out mountain biking with his son in law, in Santa Fe, the right temple piece snapped as he was putting the glasses on and he was unsure how they caught and broke. He was devastated. But he immediately sent an email to Dual Eye asking what he could do. He sent the email on a Friday evening and on Monday morning, at approximately 8:20 a.m., he had a personal email from Kyle with Customer Service at Dual Eyewear telling him that they would put a new temple piece in the mail to him immediately! When he returned to the Shark Cove, the piece was waiting for him, and it even had a new screw for the piece!
Is this a great company or what? What great customer service! A company that actually stands behind it's product! How refreshing!
Dual Eyewear rocks!
If you want to learn more about these sunglasses, that have now become our hero's primary sunglasses, check them out at;
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!
New Time for Next Week - Pizza at Arcadia!
Belo News
September 18, 2012
Battle Creek, Mi. - The wind was cranking, so the Nation knew it was time for the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang ride!
Or at least they thought it was!
When Airman sent out the email reminder in the morning, only a few Minions had reported that they would be in attendance for the ride this week. Later in the day, Sharkman had been out golfing and after getting caught in the rain and getting a text from the Battle Creek Police Department Nixle system, warning that wind gusts were reported to be at 37 mph with a chance of rain he re-thought riding. The winds on the golf course were pushing putts off line (or at least that was the excuse Sharkman was using).
Sharkman sent out a note to see if the riders were still going to show before he suited up to ride downtown and everyone seemed to agree that the ride should be cancelled.
The Commissioner of Cycling has declared that Next Tuesday will be the last ride of the season and it will start at 5:30 p.m. because of daylight issues.
Tuesday Night, launch time 5:30 p.m. - Sharp!
Since Sharkman has been riding every Tuesday night for the summer, Lava Girl informs him that he owes her some pizza, so after the ride next Tuesday, the riders and spouses and significant others will meet at Arcadia (approximately 7:15 p.m) at Arcadia to celebrate a great summer season of riding! Don't make Lava Girl and Sharkman eat alone!
Be there!
WHAT DO THESE TWO MINIONS HAVE IN COMMON?
Belo News Contest
September 12, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. - Come on, Minions! There were only two of you who tried to figure out the connection between these two photos and who the riders are! You can do better than that! Both riders submissions were incorrect, though one was close.
So here we go again!*
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| Name this rider! |
It has been a while since we have had a good contest in the pages of Belo News, so get ready! Here is your opportunity to win a chance to buy Sharkman a kup of koffee at the Klutch!
The following picture below taken during the Bloody 'Ell 'Undered three weeks ago as one of our part time Minions checked out this unique bike.
The photo to the right was taken last a couple weeks ago as this Minion was checking ears of corn (we've been checking our corn on the cob ever since getting this photo in the news room) or something like that. Actually not really sure.
So, the big contest is can you name the two riders and what is the common link between them?
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| Who is this famous rider? |
If you think you can name the riders AND the common link, send your answer to Belo News and win a "chance" to buy koffee for the Sharkman! Yes, you can actually buy our hero a kup if you can get the answer to this stumper!**
Oh, the humanity!
The answer will be posted in next weeks edition!***
(*Yes, we remembered, but might not next week. Enter now to win! (see rules below)
(**This contest is void where prohibited by stupid laws. Employees of Belo News are ineligible to take part and should get back to work finding all available cycling news for the Minion Nation and should be happy they have a job even though it doesn't pay anything. Dr. Dave and Kid Gallagher are not eligible to take part in the contest, but may buy Sharkman koffee any time they wish.)
(***Belo News is unable to guarantee that the answer will be published next week as we may forget……)
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