On Wisconsin!

CONTROVERSY RULES ON COLLEGE GAME DAY!

DR. DAVE TAKES THE FINISHING SPRINT!

ZICKMAN HAS A NEW SPONSOR!

Belo News

September 1, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn made it's slow move over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, automatically knew it must be September, as it was still dark when he jumped from his Shark bed.  Lava Girl got up with him and said it was too dark to ride to the start, to which our hero stated, "O, contraire!"

Sharkman dug out his bike lights and once mounted on his trusty Litespeed steed, he was off to the start as the sun began its slow rise over the Cove.

As the old Shark worked his way out Watkins road, he spotted another rider ahead of him who turned around to greet him.  It was none other than Mad Dog, who thought the old Shark had already left and he had gotten out ahead of him.  Sharkman is always glad to have someone along for the ride over. Mad Dog commented that he had seen the blinking light behind him and thought it might be the Sharkman.

The two riders arrived at the start early and the Minions started piling in.  First B-Rod, sporting his Purdue Jersey, then All Black and Cheddarhead wearing his Central College Jersey and others.  

Ranger Rick's new ride!

Ranger Rick arrived along with a brand new carbon Fuji with electronic shifters and brought a new rider to the Nation who was promptly named Kryptonite for the jersey he was wearing!  

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Kryptonite!

Zickman's Renovo Wood Bike!

Zickman arrived sporting his Michigan Tri Jersey and riding his wooden bike.  The Renovo got a lot of attention as the crowd grew and though Sharkman got nervous when he over heard Zickman stating, "feel how smooth it is…." he calmed when he realized Zickman was talking about the cross bar on the wooden bike and not his shoulders that were protruding from his tight Michigan Tri Jersey.

Zickman took the opportunity to announce that he has procured a new sponsor for the 2013 season! 

In an upcoming press release obtained by Belo News, it was learned that Terminix has decided to sponsor the wood riding man of the Minion peloton for 2013!  After all, what says wood better than termites?  Oh, the humanity!  

We can't wait to see the Team Terminix kit (and let's hope it fits better than that Michigan Tri Jersey!)!

Psycho Cross sighting!

After a great deal of attention to the Zickman's wooden Renovo, other riders began trickling in, including Kid Gallagher, sporting an MSU Jersey, Ox, Dr. Dave, Bio-Waste, Boatman, Wildman, Peugeot Guy, Falcon, in his Michigan Jersey, giving Michigan an edge in the jersey competition, and rock star Minion, Psycho Cross, lead guitar with Joe Wang and the Test Pilots, making what is believed to be his first KK-TdG start of the season!  

How does the Sharkman continue to line up these famous riders?

With no Skipper, the Sharkman took over and led the peloton through town and with a wave to the adoring fans in the Koffee Klutch, they began the trek north.  

Gazelle Girl jumped on at her usual location just as Cheddarhead began waving people by with what the peloton thought was a minor mechanical.  Meanwhile at the front, Mad Dog, B-Rod and then Falcon came up to lead our hero out to the first sprint and made our hero work WAY too hard to get it! 

As Sharkman began counting, he quickly realized there were two riders missing and noticed Cheddarhead and Dr. Dave were absent and Sharkman headed back.  Dr. Dave soon met our hero as he came up the road reporting that Cheddarhead had a major clunking sound on the bike and had decoded to turn back. 

(Editors note - Sharkman and Mad Dog ran into Cheddarhead, post ride on their way back to the Shark Cove.  Cheddarhead reported that he had a loose handle bar at the stem but he didn't know that until he got home and got it on the stand.  He was going out to get some miles in, so all is well!)

As the peloton headed up the col de Twin Lakes there was a major discussion concerning the jersey count and the fact that Michigan was up on MSU for the first time in years.  As the peloton went past Bissell Boys house, they shouted out to the famous MSU rider to no avail.  The Nation figured the celebration from the win over Boise State must have kept the intrepid rider in bed.  

So the peloton was surprised to see the famous rider up ahead as they rode the Country Club hills, looking good in his MSU kit!  MSU 2, Michigan 2!

That is when the controversy began….

Kid Gallagher and Bissell Boy both filed formal complaints that Zickmans Michigan jersey, being so, for lack of a better term, "diminutive," only qualified for a half of a point.  However, Zickman and Falcon immediately filed an  appeal stating that since Bissell Boy had not jumped on until well into the ride, that MSU should only get a half of a point. Oh, the humanity!

The Commissioner, in his great wisdom, declared a tie and therefore MSU AND Michigan won "College Game Day!"

A number of riders jumped on and off the train as they circled the KK-TdG course and Belo News apologizes if we've inadvertently left anyone out, but the sprints were well contested throughout the course and it is always difficult to keep track of all the riders.

As the Nation moved towards the inlet sprint, Zickman and Falcon, the two Michigan representatives, went at it for the sprint.  It appeared that Zickman, on his wooden bike, took the sprint by a "sliver" as they both "splintered" from the pack.

As the peloton moved across Rt. 89, due to the detour on 37th Street, Zickman made a move in front of some fast moving cars that made everyone think that they would be seeing lumber all over the road, but he managed to make it across, unscathed.

The entire peloton minded their manors at G ave. as the mighty Nation lined up for the finish.  

Sharkman was concerned that there was no Tow Truck or Hossman to string out the pace line, but everyone seemed to be riding well and holding their lines.

In the final assault, the Skipper, sporting a Western Michigan Bronco Jersey, mysteriously appeared!

As the Nation crested the final ascent, all hell broke loose as everyone made a break for the finish.  Michigan was well represented as Zickman and Falcon fought with B-Rod, Dr. Dave and Wildman as they rambled to the finish line.

Dr. Dave took the final sprint with B-Rod and Falcon too close to call and Wildman on their wheels with Sharkman just behind them.

Average speed was 19.7 mph.

The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation zipped up their jerseys (though Zickman had trouble getting his zipped all the way) and waved to their adoring fans.

Big 10 Rules!

Final Jersey Standings:

MSU 2

Michigan 2 

Wisconsin 1

Purdue 1

Central College 1

Western Michigan 1 

The Klutch was jumping as the College Game Day Jersey riders posed for photos and signed autographs. 

Zickman produced a Michigan helmet cover that he said he didn't wear for the ride because he thought the peloton would make fun of it!  Actually, the Minions had so much fun with his jersey, no one was sure they would have noticed the helmet cover!

Mad Dog enjoys a Klutch Espresso!

What will happen next week?  Come on out to ride and find out.  There are only so many weeks left in the season and you won't want to miss a single minute!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

TUESDAY NIGHT MINION CHAIN GANG REPORT!

Polar Bear comes out to help tie the season record!

Belo News

August 4, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - As the season winds down, as does the evening light, there are only a few Tuesday nights remaining in what has been a stellar, but windy season for the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang ride.  This Tuesday Rainman, Airman, All Black, Sharkman and Tuesday Night Virgin rider, Polar Bear turned out for their assault on the season record.

Worked as a fine oiled Swiss watch, the group of five riders traded off pulls and mounted the G ave. hill as though it were a bump in the road.

With Polar Bear on board taking big pulls, the fivesom bore down on the finish, timing the lights well.  Polar Bear took a major pull until just before the finish, when Rainman took over and upped the anty, getting the Minions to the finish with a tying season average speed high of 20.7mph!

This was the last "official" Tuesday Night ride, however it was decided to keep the ride going in September but the time will be moved up to accommodate light.

Next Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Launch Time - 5:45 p.m. - Sharp!  

Kellogg Headquarters Upper Parking Lot!

Be there!