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| Brewman returns to the peloton! |
PIRATE RETURNS AND REPORTS ON THE U.S. PRO CHALLENGE!
HOOSIER BOY A TRUE IRONMAN!
NAME THAT MINION CONTEST!
OBERON JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
Belo News
September 8, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke slowly over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, got a text message from Rainman.
"Do you have an extra light for my bike? It is dark out there!"
Sharkman informed the young Jedi Minion that the force was with him this morning and Sharkman had the Mother of all lighting systems so, not to worry. Actually, it is difficult to ride behind the old Shark when he has his blinking lights on and airplanes have been known to attempt landings behind him in the dark!
Yeti Boy had also called to say he was riding over with the Shark but would then ride back.
As Sharkman got his lighting system ready, Yeti Boy and Rainman rode up as they got ready to make the trek over to the start. As they left the Cove, in rode Mad Dog.
Then they were four!
Game on!
Game on!
As the four Minions made their way to the start, Sharkman lamented the end of summer and the fact that after Labor Day, the number of Minions in attendance begins to dwindle. Yet our hero was optimistic that with the weather so nice, there still might be a good number of riders.
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| Style Guy, "Styling!" |
Brewman arrived and all agreed it was good to have him back in the peloton. He also reported that Brewboy was doing fine as well.
Ranger Rick and Kryptonite were next with those who hadn't yet seen the Rangers new Fuji gathering around for a good look.
Bissell Boy then pulled in and reported that none of the group were at the meeting place that they use and he was the only one!
As the Minions headed out, Mad Dog and Yeti Boy pulled off at the Klutch to head home as Luann waved her best wishes from the Klutch.
Just then, the Pirate appeared along with two friends from Cincinnati on a tandem, but apparently he needed a seat adjustment and told the Minions to keep riding and that he would catch up.
Of course, it is always dangerous to tell the mighty Minion Nation to go on and that one will catch up, as that gives them free reign to rock!
Rainman, then Kryptonite, then B-Rod lead our hero out, with Kryptonite finishing the last lead for our hero to get him to the first sprint. Everyone was disappointed that the first lady of the peloton, Gazelle Girl did not join on in at her usual place.
However, as the Nation picked up speed in the Country Club section, Sharkman spotted Gazelle Girl up ahead! To shouts of "Gazelle Girl" the nation reeled her in and she reported that she had been back with the Pirate and the tandem and that they had taken the short cut. She had ridden ahead to tell the peloton that the Pirate was on his way!
As the Nation formed up at Rt. 43, they waited a short time for the Pirate and his friends to latch on. The Pirate introduced the young couple on the tandem to the Nation as the group took off to the col de Norte.
The group seemed to splinter through the Bible Conference section but then came together at the top of the last hill. Squeaky made a move to the front, followed by the Sharkman who attacked him from the back to take the Frona Sprint going away.
As the Minions formed up at Frona and headed to the Inlet sprint, Sharkman, yet again made a move to take the sprint and captured his second sprint on the day (three if you count the honorary sprint).
The Nation then headed south on 38th Street past Sherman Lake and Sharkman made yet another move to capture the G Ave sprint, giving him the Hat Trick!
The Sharkman was on a roll and having delusions of grandeur when, on 37th for the finish, B-Rod asked Sharkman, "do you want the final sprint? I can lead you out." Sharkman quickly agreed but cautioned the sprinter not to ride him off his wheel!
As the fast moving train ascended the final hill, B-Rod was trying to find a good spot in which to make his move. Gazelle Girl, Ranger Rick, Squeaky and others were up front when Gazelle Girl said she was pulling off to go home to do chores.
Sharkman, while waiting patiently behind B-Rod hoping he could stay with any move that he made, then saw Rainman bust out from the back of the pack making a humungus break away move. Had he not skipped a gear that slowed the break, B-Rod may not have been able to respond.
B-Rod knew that he could not let Rainman get a big lead or he would not be able to reel him in so he responded quickly to the move and took advantage of the skipped shift.
Sharkman decided to try to stay on B-Rods wheel but he could not respond quickly enough.
However, the break did give the old Shark a big enough gap to get away from the peloton and as B-Rod pulled in Rainman and eventually passed hime, Sharkman was able to hold on to third place as B-Rod took the final sprint with Rainman right behind him.
Average speed - 19.3 mph.
The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the few Minions who were left made their way to the Koffee Klutch.
Not many riders made it back for the press conference as it was only B-Rod, Rainman, Brewman and Sharkman who appeared for autographs and koffee.
The discussion centered around the end of season and how great the weather has been this year.
This Saturday, September 15, 2012 - OBERON JERSEY SATURDAY!
That's right! Minions who own Oberon or Bell's Brewery Jersey's are asked to wear them for this weeks ride. Let's see just how popular Bells is!
There may also be a "B" Group this week! Is this a great country or what?
Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Be there!
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| The Pirate at Independence Pass |
Belo News
September 12, 2012
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| U.S. Pro Challenge action! |
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| Bissell Boy makes a move at the U.S. Pro Challenge |
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| Is this a great country or what? |
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| Hoosier Boy in this file photo |
HOOSIER BOY BECOMES A TRUE IRONMAN!
Belo News
September 9, 2012
Madison, Wi. - Our own Hoosier Boy finally did his Ironman Triathlon in Madison (at least we think it was Madison), Wisconsin this weekend and Belo News is pleased to report that he did the mighty Minion Nation proud!
The perpetual motion machine we know as Hoosier Boy finished in 11 hours, 24 minutes and was 15th in his age group (out of 180!) and out of 2,800 participants (hard to believe they can get that many people to subject themselves to that sort of torture) our Hoosier Boy was 330 overall!
Pretty darn impressive!
It was a victory for the Mighty Minion Nation!
And to think, the Minions helped train him!
And to think, the Minions helped train him!
OH, the humanity.
Belo News then conducted this in-depth interview of our hero:
Belo News then conducted this in-depth interview of our hero:
When asked how he was feeling on Monday, he reported that he thought he may be able to tie his own shoes in a couple of days.
When asked if he had another Ironman planned, he stated that he may take 2013 off and regroup for 2014.
Good thinking Hoosier Boy, good thinking…..
He also sent the attached post that helps explain why triathletes subject themselves to this type of punishment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B03dFMG8nR4&feature=plcp
Hoosier Boy can now proudly say, he is a true Ironman!
Congratulations, Hoosier Boy!
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT!
Belo News
September 11, 2012
Battle Creek, Mi. - One of the best turn outs of the year was found at the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang Ride!
Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was the fact that there were only a couple weeks left in the season for this ride, but whatever the reason, 8 Minions showed up to look for a new season record.
Airman, Rainman, Stingray, Polar Bear and Tuesday Night Virgins Ranger Rick and Kryptonite, made an appearance along with the Sharkman.
With the number of riders, the peloton began sensing the possibility of a new season average speed record (To date record is 21.7 mph).
As the nation headed out on River Road, the Pirate jumped on and began giving some hard, long pulls at the front.
Stingray, coming back from some foot issues, peeled off in Augusta as the Nation moved on to the G Ave. hill.
Since Polar Bear and Ranger Rick were pulling off at Stoney Lake, they took some finishing pulls that took the chain gang up over the season average.
However, the early pace began taking it's toll as the riders hit Michigan Avenue. One rider had cramps, another backed off and it was left to the Pirate and Sharkman to try to get the finish record. Despite a valiant attempt, Sharkman could only take short pulls and though the Pirate fought on, they could only mount a 21.5 average on the night.
As the riders straggled across the finish, they all agreed it was a great workout.
Only two weeks left in the Tuesday Night Season!
If you like to do pace line work, this is the ride for you!
Tuesday Night, launch time 5:45 p.m. - Sharp!
Kellogg Headquarters Upper Parking Lot.
WHAT DO THESE TWO MINIONS HAVE IN COMMON?
Belo News Contest
September 12, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. - It has been a while since we have had a good contest in the pages of Belo News, so get ready! Here is your opportunity to win a chance to buy Sharkman a kup of koffee at the Klutch!
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| Who is that Minion? |
This photo below was taken last week as this Minion was checking ears of corn (we've been checking our corn on the cob ever since getting this photo in the news room) or something like that. Actually, we're not really sure what he is doing......
So, the big contest is, can you name the two riders and what is the common link between them?
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| Who is this Minion and what might he be doing? |
If you think you can name the riders AND the common link, send your answer to Belo News and win a "chance"(there may be multiple winners) to buy koffee for the Sharkman! Yes, you can actually buy our hero a kup if you can get the answer to this stumper!*
Oh, the humanity!
The answer will be posted in next weeks edition!**
(*This contest is void where prohibited by stupid laws. Employees of Belo News are ineligible to take part and should get back to work finding all available cycling news for the Minion Nation and should be happy they have a job even though it doesn't pay anything. Dr. Dave and Kid Gallagher are not eligible to take part in the contest, but may buy Sharkman koffee any time they wish.)
(**Belo News is unable to guarantee that the answer will be published next week as we may forget……)
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