RAIN? WHAT RAIN?

The radar at 8:19 a.m.
Saturday! Oh, the 
humanity!

SHARKMAN'S HUGE MISTAKE?

WAIT, ....WHAT? 

SHARKMAN MADE A MISTAKE???

OH YES HE DID!!!!

LET'S DO IT AGAIN THIS WEEKEND BUT ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!

HERMSTERS PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD!?!

GOOD LUCK TO THE WAM RIDERS THIS WEEKEND!!!

Belo News

July 23, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke wet and cool over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, threw back his Shark bedspread and jumped from his warm, dry bed and ran straight to the Shark Radar! With his shark face aglow with green light, it was immediatly apparent the ride might be in jeopardy.

Say it ain't so!!!!

However, it did look like the storm was fast moving and even though it showed rain over that field of dreams every Shark Minion lovingly knows as the KK-TdG, it did not seem to be raining at the Shark Cove.

Sharkman was sitting on the porch, watching the radar when a huge lightening strike hit that shook the Shark Cove so hard it woke up Lava Girl! It completely lit up the backyard as it echoed throughout the back woods. Sharkman doesn't like lightening.....😱

Lava Girl began telling our intrepid hero to bag the ride! But Sharkman was thinking otherwise!

As Sharkman pulled
into the start!

Sharkman immediately texted Yeti Boy and Gazelle Girl to get an opinion (Reb wasn't riding so would only tell us to ride/plus he likes to see his name in Belo News, so here you go Reb). It was still early and there was not only some time to monitor, but it still looked like the worst of the storm was moving south of the Field of Dreams.

Drug Czar checked in with an email asking if the ride was still on and by then it was determined that Sharkman and Yeti Boy would drive over and make the call from the start. However, Sharkman, Yeti Boy and Gazelle Girl were all working under the assumption that Launch Time was at the regular 8:30 a.m. - SHARP start time. While Drug Czar, along with her wingman Bounty Hunter were operating under the assumption that the start time was what had been printed in your source for all you cycling information, Belo News! Oh, the humanity! Sharkman had made a mistake and did not know it!!!.......yet!

Sharkman loaded up his faithful steed, helmet and shoes into the Shark Mobile and headed to the start. It had still not started to rain at the Shark Cove and the roads were pretty dry until he decended from the Eaton Plant down into the thriving metropolis known as Galesburg. Though the road into Galesburg was wet, after he crossed the Kalamazoo River the village streets seemed dry. Strange weather....

As he pulled into the start, he got a message on his phone "Lightening Alert - Current Location!" "How appropriate..." he thought as he got out of the Shark Mobile and greated Wildman who apparently did not read the blog and did not have the correct kit fot he day. Yeti Boy then pulled in and he had on the original Shark Minion Kit so he had mis-read the blog. Hermster was there and is well ahead in the "perfect attendance" competition and may have locked it up for the season.

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton" rode in to a shout out from Sharkman, complete with the correct kit. A furvent reader of Belo News and usually and Ace editor, she must have also missed the time mistake in Belo News!

As they did one last check of the radar, they looked to the north and saw a break in the clouds and knew the ride would go forward. 

Where's your Anniversary Kit
Wildman?

Still oblivious to the time mistake, they wondered where Drug Czar and Bounty Hunter were but assumed they had begged off, as the weather seemed worse in Kalamazoo. It was only learned later that they had launched at 8 a.m. looking for the mighty/tardy Shark Minion Nation!

Oh, the humanity!!!

Sharkman asked Wildman, with his long arms, to take the selflie start photo, but he was not quite as adept at it as he had been in the past.....

At 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! the five riders launched from the school and headed through town to the start.

Sharkman was in no rush to get to his honorary start, which seemed to set the stage for a very mello jaunt through that beloved Field of Dreams the Shark Nation knows as the KK-TdG.

After the honorary sprint and before the nest sprint, the Shark Minions witnessed quite a lightening bolt cross the sky, well south of their location but somewhat frightening none the less. This began a discussion of rides in lightening, hiding in barns, and general stories of near miss lightening strikes. Yikes! 😱

The five riders shared time at the front, most sprints were either uncontested or tied and it was only at the GGG Spot Sprint that the speed really picked up when the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" took the tape with a lead out by Sharkman. 

It was a victory for America!!!

The fearsome 5!
Nice try Wildman....

As the Nation headed south to the final sprint, Sharkman went to the front to pull with Gazelle Girl on his wheel, followed by Yeti Boy and Hermster.

Gazelle Girl commented that with the pull, Sharkman should get the win, but he stated to bring it on and Wildman immediately went to the front. Sharkman latched on to his rear wheel and held on like he was fighting for the last french fry on the plate!

The entire peloton moved foward and they all crossed the finish together, a photo finish, making it the second victory for America on the day!!! 

Is this a great country or what!?!

Gazelle Girl!!!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero's approached the Koffee Klutch where Yeti Boy, wanting to celebrate his birthday a week early becuase he will be gone this week (well, that and there were only 4 for koffee 🥴), threw down his credit card! 

Thanks Yeti Boy and happy Birthday!!!

Skittle also showed up at the Klutch stating he had slept in on the morning and missed the start! 

Happy Birthday Yeti Boy!

The group discussed the poor turnout for the ride, but fluffed it off to the "iffy" weather.

It was later learned that Hoosier Boy also read the blog (thanks HB!) and arrived a bit late for what he thought was an 8 a.m. Launch. He rode out on the course backwards hoping to catch the Shark Nation coming back. When he did not find them, he went back to the Klutch and waited until nearly 10 a.m. for the Shark Minions. The Shark Minions did return to the Klutch and must have just missed him, arriving shortly after 10 a.m.

Sharkman went home completely oblivious to the time problem until he got some emails with photographic evidence from Drug Czar, Bounty Hunter and Hoosier Boy that they had ridden, thinking that Sharkman and crew had skipped out due to the weather!

Sharkman spent the afternoon sending apologies to the wronged parties, vowing that it would not happen again. As a matter of fact, Sharkman could not remember having ever gotten the start time wrong before. However, and is should be stated now, with 73 years under his dorsal, it might be the begining of a lot of errors! 

Oh, the humanity!!!

Bounty Hunter & Drug Czar a 
bit early!

Hoosier Boy at some time 
on Saturday Morning!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition and hopefully the might Shark Minion Nation will be on the same Launch Time and there will be no rain!!!

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!!!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!!!!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS....NOW!!!

GET THOSE RSVP's IN.......NOW!!

Belo News

July 27, 2022

Triple Nasty Ranchero/Zickmann Estate; 

Well Shark Minions it is that time again!!! 

All the information is in this attached poster for this years Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!!!

Speaking of the poster, what kind of warped people designed that! Answer? The same two who are hosting the bash!!! Oh, the humanity!!

This annual day of bloody mary's, deviled eggs, yummy bake goods from Yeti Boy and pizza and beer is upon us again!!! Who can resist this opportunity!!!

So mark you calendars NOW and get that RSVP into Gazelle Girl for the planning!!

Any biker who is a biker will be there!!

Well, Bunkie, what are you waiting for!!! Do it now before you forget!!!

Hope to see the Shark Nation in force for this fun filled day of debauchery!!!

Oh, the humanity!!! This IS a great country!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SKITTLES TO THE RESCUE!!!

GUEST COLUMNIST!!?

Skittles and "the Gang!!!"
photo by Skittles and well done!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED COMING UP SOON!!!

THIS SATURDAY IS SHARK MINION ANNIVERSARY KIT DAY!!

Belo News

July 16, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - While our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was in Canada, attending a photography workshop, Skittles came to the rescue to provide this rivetting account of last weeks classic we all know as the KK-TdG. 

DISCLAIMER

Belo News cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies, insults or for other provacations in this riveting account and as always from Belo News, any semblance to the truth is purely coincidental!

Take it away, Skittles!!!

As dawn broke warm and humid over Skittle’s house, a brightly colored rainbow themed bouncy house castle, our intrepid replacement editor was stepping out for the 8:30 AM start (SHARP!!) Deciding to drive in he hit the road in hopes of a good turn out in Sharkman’s absence.

Thankfully he found some heavy hitters showed up: Bissell Boy, The Swede, Maid Marion, Hermster with others and last but never least, That Sweetheart of the Peloton: Gazelle Girl alongside her boy-toy Toesetter. How does Sharkman remember all the various Minions Names?? Does he have an extra brain in his dorsal fin?? OH THE HUMANITY!!

Casual banter of course ensued wherein it was noted today’s count is nine and NOT thirteen, so no crashes were expected. Our heroes rolled out with Skittles and The Swede doing the initial pulling at a casual pace. Talk about someone taking the Shark Sprint in honor of the Man Hizzself was quashed and our heroes casually rolled over the line.

Toesetter drove a mighty tough pace up the hill just past the Col de Twin Lakes with The Swede, Gazelle Girl and yrs trly on his wheel. They bore down on the finish with all four going into a dead sprint and The Swede holding on for the win. Eventually the sprint to M-43 was next, Hermster driving hard to the Stop Ahead Sign with Skittles running him down just to see if he could close such a large gap.

At the stop, Gazelle Girl was reminded how she complained of Toesetter pulling too hard down M43 on the last Minion Ride and was Volun-Told she’d be leading us neutrally down to Sheffield Rd. Through the Holy Rollers, Skittles strove to the front, using his famous Super-Tuck to dare anyone to follow him. To his shock, he noticed The Swede was there with Toesetter hot on his wheel, coming around to take a deserved win.

Unbeknownst to Skittles but knownst to the rest of the gang, The Swede and Toesetter came hot on his wheel, with The Swede taking a deserved win after his strategic move. Our heroes began the trip down to the G Spot with all the riders not wanting a repeat of a few weeks back when a devastatingly giant canyon, er, pothole jumped out and tried to kill Sharkman.

With that out of the way Skittles, Toesetter and The Swede pulled hard at the front. So hard in fact, when they finally checked and found the group way back and decided to to soft pedal until they caught up.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT??!!

Eventually, Gazelle Girl came along and lovingly admonished them for dropping her, whereupon Toesetter led her out into the sprint one may only win if one is riding a broomstick. At the stop Toesetter informed the peloton they’d have to neutralize the ride since someone from the M.I.S. (Minion Intelligence Service) had leaked some top secret intel that a nefarious individual had dumped a toilet on the road!! THAT’S RIGHT BUNKIE!! Porcelain shards all over the the place!! Thanks Toesetter for being intelligent!!

As of press time, the criminal still hadn’t been apprehended but is tops on the M.I.S. Most Wanted List. Our heroes bore down on the finish with Toesetter at the front pulling like a bullet train, Skittles hot on his wheel.

The Swede patiently biding his time in a brilliant tactical maneuver until he noticed Skittles check over his shoulder whence he took that opportunity to jump ahead in a blinding attack!! Skittles responded with an attack of his own, doubting he could catch up but keeping the hammer down anyway, because he wasn’t raised to be a quitter.

Eventually The Swede ran out of gas, and Skittles grabbed the win in a photo finish with a cast of thousands coming in behind them.

OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!!

No conversation could be heard over the deafening riotous roar of the Tifosi as our heroes made their parade down the Champs le Galesburg toward post race meeting at the Coffee Klutch. Gazelle Girl strolled in and, noting how few Minions showed up today (six), decided to buy coffee. Thanks Gazelle Girl! IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT??!!

Skittles

Thanks Skittles for that incredible write up!!!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG as Sharkma returns, hopefully for good, to the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!

In recognition of his absences, it has been declared "Shark Minion Anniversary Kit" Day!!!

This IS a great country!!!

So break out the anniversary jersey and if you have them, those fantastic anniversary bib shorts!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2022

"Shark Minion Anniversary Kit" Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!!!!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS....NOW!!!

GET THOSE RSVP's IN.......NOW!!

Belo News

July 20, 2022

Triple Nasty Ranchero/Zickmann Estate; 

Well Shark Minions it is that time again!!! 

All the information is in this attached poster for this years Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!!!

Speaking of the poster, what kind of warped people designed that! Answer? The same two who are hosting the bash!!! Oh, the humanity!!

This annual day of bloody mary's, deviled eggs, yummy bake goods from Yeti Boy and pizza and beer is upon us again!!! Who can resist this opportunity!!!

So mark you calendars NOW and get that RSVP into Gazelle Girl for the planning!!

Any biker who is a biker will be there!!

Well, Bunkie, what are you waiting for!!! Do it now before you forget!!!

Hope to see the Shark Nation in force for this fun filled day of debauchery!!!

Oh, the humanity!!! This IS a great country!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

 SHARKMAN RETURNS!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock!!!

WHAT WAS THE COUNT? NOT 13!?!

SHARKMAN GONE AGAIN???

TOESETTER ON THE DL?!? OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

THE RIDE CONTINUES THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

July 9, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cool and bright (has this bee a great summer or what?!?) over the Shark Cove our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was ready to rock. After 4 weeks of re-hab and with Shark Week coming up on National Geographic, the diminutive Shark was anxious to "get his game on!" 

Though he did worry about being able to ride the entire course due to his lack of fitness, he was ready none the less.

Lava Girl, however, did not agree and was not happy that Sharkman planned to ride. After all, she had been taking care of the big baby shark for the last 4 weeks, listening to him whine andn pine about not being able to ride. 

However, justice prevailed and Sharkman agreed to drive to the start and not do the entire 53 miles he normally rides on Saturday.

Swede and Wishbone.

Sharkman headed out a bit early, anxious to ride with his Minions and as he took the road from the Eaton Plant down into the thriving metropolis of Galesburg he notice a man along with a woman rider heading into town and was sure it had to be Fire and Yeti Boy, as the female rider was blonde. As he approached, he put his passenger window down, ready to shout out some profound and funny statement when he realized it wasn't them!!! Oh, the humanity.

The "bad selfie" is back!!!

People were already at the start, getting unpacked from their cars, and the greetings from his beloved Shark Minion Nation began! Sharkman was happy to be back in the Nation again!!!

Both Brewman and Doctor Dave arrived wearing their Shark Minion Kit in recognition of the Ole Sharkman's return to the peloton. The "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl herzzelf rode in, minus her main squeeze, Toesetter and Sharkman missed the entrance and wasn't able to get his "Gazelle Girl" shouted out!!!

The first question Sharkman had was, "where is Toesetter?" 

Brewman in his Shark
Minion Kit!!

Sadly, Gazelle Girl reported that he had injured his wrist in a biking "incident" and it hurt enough that he broke down and was going for X-Rays hoping they would prove negative for a break.

Riders kept to piling in......

Swede, Stryker Girl, Brewman, Bissell Boy, Skittles, Maid Marian, Crickett, Hermster, Wishbone, Swede, Stryker Girl, Dr. Dave and Fire.

As Sharkman made a count, he had 13 riders and almost cancelled the ride, but a recount brought it to 14!!!

Is this a great country or what!!??

Sharkman shouted out to get the mighty Shark Minion train to pull out of the station, smiling as he listend to the sound of pedals clicking in and the chatter from the Nation! Sharkman had also commented he would not be contesting sprints and that included his ceremonial, first sprint.

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton!"
Gazelle Girl!!

As the Sharkman worked his way up and down the peloton to press the flesh and thank his Shark Minions for their well wishes, Skittles came up and offered to lead him out. However, Sharkman said no thinking he needed to save his energy to just finish. But then Gazelle Girl and Cricket, who were at the front, slowed and Sharkman took the bait and got a lead out from the pair. Feeling he had to honor the sprint he actually got his speed up to 19.5 mph, taking the sprint and again, all was well in the Kingdom!

At this point, Sharkman tried to stay at the back of the peloton. Now for years (roughly 40ish) Sharkman has always stated, "nothing good happens at the back of the peloton. Oh, was he wrong!!! 

Who knew they served Mimosa's back there??? Sharkman also heard that if Kia Pet and/or Reb were riding on this day there may have been donuts!!! What had Sharkman been missing!!! This IS a great country!!!

The ride was swift, but not as fast as usual and the old Shark suspected the Nation was going easy on him as he had not been training. However he hung in as well as he could and was able to hold on as they approached the Col de Twin Lakes.

When the fast moving train got to the Col de Twin Lakes, he slowly dropped back as the peloton passed, but Dr. Dave hung in with him and drafted him up the hill tothe spring stop ahead sign. Thanks Dr. Dave!!!

Fire was on hand!

Soon after, Dr. Dave had to take a call but shouted out to go ahead and he would catch up with the Nation later.

After a spirited run through the Kountry Klub section, and an attack by Hermster that was countered late and then taken by Cricket with Skittles on his wheel the Nation stopped at Rt. 43 and Dr. Dave was back pretty quickly! 

Sharkman spent most of his time riding the wheel of anyone who went by him, in hopes of just finishing!

As the Nation lined up for the final ascent to the finish, Sharkman tried to get into position up near the front, hoping he could just draft on riders until there were no more riders to draft off of and sneak in quietly at the end.

However, as the pace began to pick up and the peloton broke into three smaller groups it happened! "Mechanical!" was heard from the back of the Nation and it was learned that Yeti Boy had flatted his rear tire. Yeti seemed to have an entourage around him and Skittles was quick to dive in and help. It was commented that Yeti needed an entire tire and the only semblance to an actual tire was that it was round and made of rubber. 

The tire was worn to the cords and had split open. Maid Marian went back to see what was taking so long and quickly offered a dollar bill to use as a boot in the tire to hold the tube in and "viola!" it was fixed. Thank you, Maid Marian!!!

Sharkman, Dr. Dave and Yeti Boy.
Yeti Boy get's and escort in!!!

As the ride headed to the finish, Dr. Dave and Sharkman escorted Yeti Boy to the finish, making sure the tire held, which it did!

Sharkman missed the final ascent but word was that Cricket captured the tape, with Wishbone on his wheel but no one at the Klutch seemed to know who captured third place.

The crowds on the Champs le Galesburg went wild when they saw Sharkman and his mighty Shark Minion Nation zipping up their jerseys for the sponsors as they rode on the famous street while waving to the throngs of paparazzi and tofosi waiting to see their hero's!!!

Bissell Boy won the sprint to the Klutch and threw down his credit card for the koffee!!! 

Thanks Bissell Boy!!! This IS a great country!!

Toesetter greeted the Nation to the Klutch and gave us the great news that his wrist was NOT broken!!!

The Koffee flowed as did the chatter as Sharkman relished being back in the Nation!!!

Sharkman will be gone this weekend but the ride goes on!!!

Saturday, July 16, 2022

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

The Klutch was rocking!!

Toesetter give the Nation
his high sign! No broken
wrist!!!

Dr. Dave in his Shark
Kit!!!

Skittles was back!!!

Cricket & Maid Marian were in the mix!

Yeti Boy sporting his
Iron Horse Jersey!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

The mighty Shark Minion Nation
ready to rock!!!

SHARKLESS MINIONS CARRY ON!!!

"Rainman has long arms for selfies!!"
Says short armed Sharkman 🥴

DREAMBOAT AND RAINMAN RETURN!!!

4TH OF JULY SPECIAL RIDE!!!

THIS SATURDAY, RED, WHITE & BLUE KIT DAY!!!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News

June 25, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and crisp over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was sleeping in and dreaming of sprints, climbs and crashes in his little Shark brain. 

Crashes? Yep, he is still sore from his brush with a Michigan pot hole but getting better each day. He will be gone one more week but hopes to return to his beloved Shark Minion Nation when he returns from a visit to see his sharklets out west. 

The Shark picked up his bike at Mike's Team Active, where Mike hizzelf, and Mark Cole did a great job getting everything back in shape. In additiona, Rainman dropped of extra Ksyrium wheel sets for the old Shark. God love the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!!

But we digress.....

The old shark got an early text from Dreamboat, who was back as a Celebrity Rider, as well as Rainman wondering if their intrepid hero would be joining them for koffee. But hey, he was, .....well, sleeping in!!! 💤

Speaking of koffee, Belo News has learned that the purchaser of koffee last week was none other than legendary rider, Toesetter!!! So thanks Toesetter!!!

Though there was no "official" report this week it was learned that Wishbone won the final sprint with Raptor on his wheel, but there was no report on who got the third spot on the podium. Belo News is sure that it wasn't Sharkman......

It was also reported that Raptor bought the koffee after this weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

Thanks Raptor!!!

This week the mighty Shark Minion Nation celebrates the 4th of July and there are two opportunities to ride! 

This IS a great country!!!

Saturday, July 2, 2022

Red, White & Blue Kit Day!!! That's right, Bunkie, break out those patriotic colors for the 4th!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!!!

Monday, July 4th, 2022

Bonus Ride!!!

A special edition mountain bike ride led by the "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl and the "King of Dick Moves," Reb!!! 

Oh, the humanity!! What could go wrong with that duo in charge, eh?

The plan is to meet at the Timeout Lounge at 9:00 a.m. and go through the Back Door atthe Fort (very near the Timeout) for a trail ride.

It is planned that the ride will return to the Timeout Lounge by 11:00 a.m. when the Timeout Lounge opens and where the post ride will consist of a cold brew!! Those who don't ride mountain bike can still join for the beer!!!

Oh, the humanity!! 

What a way to start your 4th of July celebrations!!!

Since Sharkman will be gone until next week, there will not be an Edition of Belo News next week, but the Shark Minion Update will go out announcing the July 9, Saturdays ride launch time!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

 THE RIDE GOES ON AS SHARKMAN HEALS UP!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready
to ride sans their intrepid hero
Sharkman!

NO REPORT, BUT A LARGE TURNOUT!!!

SHARKMAN HEALTH UPDATE!

Belo News

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, struggled to get out of bed for the 6th morning in a row.

Still sore and hurting from his monumental crash, he slowly moved to the porch with a kup of Shark coffee and pondered a morning without cycling with his beloved Shark Minion Nation.

He and Lava Girl decided they would head over to the Koffee Klutch to check in with his beloved Shark Minions and have breakfast, letting his mighty Shark Minion Nation know that he was up and taking nourishment. After all, he does have an iron shark reputation to defend! 🦈🥴

It was great to see the crowd at the Klutch and someone, though we are not sure who, had bought the koffee and the place was rocking! It was Galesburg Days and the town was on fire with activity and later, a parade past the Klutch that Sharkman and Lava Girl stuck around to watch.

Pure Americana! 

Later they went to see the famous Wildman with his new group, Triple Root perform at Galesburg Days! They were terrific and they were joined by Gazelle Girl and Toesetter!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Sharkman was able thank all those Shark Minions who helped him get through the worst crash of his entire cycling career and since he has been around since the invention of the bicycle that is a very, very long career!!! 😜

He and Lava Girl ordered the "Galesburg Sandwich" and are pleased to report, it was OUTSTANDING!!!

There was a big turn out for the ride, close to 20 riders on the day, and it was reported that it had been a great, fast ride around that field of dreams known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!

An attempt by Reb to get a photo
of the Klutch action.
And we thought Sharkman was bad....

Sharkman reports that though he is feeling better, it is like his body was on a "numb" mode for the first week and reports that this week there seems to be more individual spots of pain. Fabio had reported to him that if he sneezed or coughed and could do so without swearing, he was probably clear of a broken or fractured rib. When he finally sneezed the day before, he confirmed that at least one rib on his left front side is probably fractured. Later this week, an araea on his back and the right side of his neck started to ache and he has had to ice the neck. A huge bruise finally appeared on his left thigh from his knee to his butt. He was pleased he had enough fat there to save him from a broken hip!!!

Additionally, Sharkman took his now untrued front wheel into Mike's Team Active and Woodie convinced him to have them check the fork. Sharkman had done the preliminary "quarter strike" test, but thought it might be better to have the pros check it out.

He has also ordered new buckles for his Sidi's, as he grounded the left buckle down to a nub and could not release them when he took them off after the crash.

Due to the soreness and the fact his bike is in the shop for a week, and that he is heading out to see Sharklets over the 4th weeked, he will be out of action for the next two weeks. 

Oh, the humanity!!!

But the ride goes on!!!

Saturday, June 25, 2022

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

CRASH IN THE PELOTON!!!

SHARKMAN AUGERS INTO THE PAVEMENT, HARD!

13 Shark Minions ready to rock!
Note Raptor's home made Quaker Oats
jersey!

SHARKMAN ON DISABLED LIST!!!

OH, THE HUMANITY!!

THIS SATURDAY WILL BE A SHARKLESS RIDE!!!

MORE NEWS IN FROM THE DIRTY DONUT!!!

Belo News

Shark Cove, MI. - As dawn broke cool and bright over the Shark Cove, our intepid hero was readly to ride!

Since Renton Road had finally been paved, the dimutive Shark was excited to ride his newly washed and clean steed that he had mounted his Kzyrium wheels on. He had not washed it or put his "special wheels" on, waiting for the road to be paved as it had been loaded with gravel, mud and sand.

Sharkman had to put his sunglasses on to look at the shiny Litespeed with well over 30K miles on it!!!

To his surprise, Reb was waiting in the cul de sac as the Shark Cove garage door slowly opened. Yeti Boy is gone for the next couple of weeks and Sharkman always loves an entourage that has been hard to develop the past few weeks.

Reb was only able to ride for half the ride over before having to head home to trade in his bike seat for a bleacher seat at his sons baseball game. Go Lakeview Spartans!!!

As the old Shark approached the Eaton Plant, he was excited to see the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" and her main squeeze, Toesetter there to great him.

As they rode into town, none other than Zyckmann, aka Fabio was seen near the Klutch, heading to the start.

Riders were riding into and unloading at the start line with a limited number of Tony the Tiger jerseys, but it was mentioned that it had been a long time since the Nation had glommed on to those "special jerseys."

Of special note, "Boxer" was making his season debut and it had been so long, Sharkman had to ask his Shark Minion name!!! Welcome back, Boxer! Great to have you back in the Nation!!

Boxer making his season
debut!!!

More riders began to pile in while Zyckmann held court with some of the mighty Shark Minion Nation talking about his exploites at the Dirty Donut and how he was able to ingest 3 donuts 🍩🍩🍩 at one time and pick up 15 minutes! The man, the myth, the legend was back in the Shark Nation where he belongs!

Fabio holding court teaching
the finer points of donut
consumption...🍩

Skittles was back in the mix!

Gazelle Girl on the subject of
donuts 🍩

Stroker was back, and lucky
for Sharkman!!!

The Senator was ready to rock!

We know this guy by his
jersey!!!

The Legend known as
Bissell Boy was back!

Not bad, Sharkman, not bad!!!

As Sharkman took the count, he noted 13 riders and made the comment, "I hope another Shark Minion joins us on the road, 13 is unlucky....." It turned out to be a prophecy he would live into.....(play the dramatic music from Psycho!)

The Riders snaked there way through town and no other riders joined on.

As the Nation headed north, Toesetter, Skittles and Gazelle Girl went to the front and picked up the pace.

As the Sharkman was moving back up to the front, and just as he latched on to Toesetters wheel, he hit a small pothole and one of his water bottles came flying out! Perhaps the first of the mishaps that were to come (play the dramatic music from Psycho!)

As Shark Minions shouted out "Water bottle!" Sharkman had to turn back just before his sprint and saw Skittles retrieving it. Sharkman had given up the sprint for his water bottle and did not record who took it for him.

Sharkman did the offical count at the first sprint and it was still 13! (play the dramatic music from Psycho!).

The pace picked up as the riders moved through the col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church, through Kellogg Korner, traversing the Kountry Klub and after the "sit up" sprinted to the Rt. 43 stop ahead. 

From there the Shark train climbed the col de Norte as a group and headed through the Holy Rollers and on to the Feed Stop.

The Shark Minions took a collective breather there as riders pulled in, then headed out to the Inlet Sprint.

After a full stop it was on to the Digital Divide where Skittles and Sharkman led out the pace line, taking it up to around 23 mph when someone shouted out "Gap!" to which Skittles took the speed back until all were on.

Once all were back on Skittles picked up the pace again and speeds got north or 25 mph for a while........that is when it happened.

As the fast moving Shark Minion Train approached the curve to the finish, Sharkman was at the back of the lead pack and began to worry a gap had opened and he could not see Gazelle Girl, getting in position for an assault on her coveted GGG Spot Sprint. He slowed hoping the lead group would as well, to check on the peloton.

(play dramatic music from Psycho)

Sharkmans decided to look over his left shoulder to check on the peloton behind him and it was then his front wheel hit a humongus pothole as he was doing approximately 22 mph! Oh, the humanity!!! Turn up the dramatic music!!

The murderous pothole!!

The witnesses in the pelotons described seeing our diminutive hero rocket through the air as he tilted toward the left in mid air and augered into the pavement landing on his left shoulder, still hooked into his bike and clipped in!!! Oh, the humanity!

Sharkman remembered in detail during and exclusive Belo News interview how it was like someone had put a leg out to trip him! He described how it happened very fast and all he could think of was "what happened?"

Sharkman hit the ground hard and his head snapped down on the pavement after his shoulder rolled under him.

The worst part was that the air had been knocked out of him and he had to force air out to get some in!

He reported that his first thought was that he had punctured or collapsed a lung, which also told him he didn't have a concussion.

The Shark Minion Nation flew into actioin and Sharkman wants all to know how grateful he is that that everyone took such great care of him!

Fabio, aka Dr. Zick was the first to him and asked if he could click out of this pedals, which he did. Then the Doc asked if he could move body parts, which he could also do.  Snow White, who is reported to be nurse asked about his head to which Sharkman gave her Yeti Boys garage door opener code (that is an inside joke between Sharkman and Yeti Boy as Sharkman only knows that because it is the test for Yeti if he hits his head. He had yet to pass that test! 😜)! Sharkman then gave Snow White his date of birth, to which onlookers gasped! 

"He's that old!" Oh, yes he is Bunkie!

As the Sharkman began to move his body parts, Doc Fabio was checking for broken bones and all seemed amazed he had not broken his collar bone or clavacle. With assistance, the old Shark moved to the side of the road where Doc Zyckhmann told him to put his leg up to which Sharkman responded, "Why? What to do you have in mind?"

Sharkman being well taken
care of by his beloved
Minion Nation!

Fortuantely for Sharkman, Stroker was on the ride and had driven over and more importantly, lives next door to the Shark Cove!!! Is this a great country or what?!?

Stroker, Bissell Boy and the Senator headed to the finish to get Strokers car.

It was reported by Stroker that Bissel Boy got the final sprint, with Stroker drafting to the finish to get the car!!

Back at the scene, Skittle and Raptor shot photos, as Minions picked up the Sharkmans rearview mirror, computer, iPhone and tail light, all amazingly intact! The only item he was missing was a nice, screw in bar end.

Skittle checked the bike and found his handle bar tape shredded on the left side and his beloved Zyrium front wheel out of true and needing a hub adjustment.

Sharkman's helmet had a skid mark on it but it did its job. Sharkman did not have any marks on his beautiful little shark head!!! 

This is a great country.

His Tony the Tiger jersey had marks of the crash with the colloar being ground down and his cycling glove had an unusual tear on the right glove, which was not really in contact with the pavement.

His left Sidi Shoe buckle was also ground down. Over all, not bad for hitting the pavement hard at high speed.

The Sharkmans blood on the scene,
some distance from the 
pothole!

However, Sharkman's body felt like he'd had a cement truck run over him, then threw him in the mixer and turn it on high mix!

When Bissel Boy and Stroker had returned, they loaded the bike on Stroker scar and helped Sharkman get in the back seat. Fortunately, Stroker had a towel to try to soak up the blood.

Sharkman felt fortunate that Stroker was on the spot and only worried now about facing Lava Girl!

However, she was out grocery shopping when they returned to the Shark Cove and the old Shark had time to get out of his tatered kit, and take a shower. 

The hot shower never felt so good!!! Though he did have to get very innovative to get his kit off and actually texted Stroker to come over to help, but got it off before he arrived.

When Lava Girl got home, he got the obligatory lecture as she began patching up his road rash, which was not as extensive as he thought it would be.

Sharkman would also like to thank all those Shark Minions who helped during the crash and all those who have been checking in with him concerning his progress, which is slow.

At the time Belo News goes to press, Sharkman is still recovering and it might be a while. He seems to have a tear or pull in his left chest muscle (Yeah, right! Who knew he had any muscle?!?) and he is having difficulty putting his left arm up without a bit of pain there. He has become very intimate with his heating pad!!! ❤️

Meanwhile, back to the finish, written up by Belo News Reporter, Skittles! Take it away, Skittles!

Following Sharkman's exit, the heroes bore down on the finish with Toesetter taking it to the front at a blistering pace. Hermster rocketing around with Raptor in hot pursuit when Skittles made his move and pounced on the breakaway!

Skittles crossed the line with Raptor and Hermster just behind in a thrilling finish!

Throngs of teaming fans greeted our heroes on the Champs le Galesburg on their way to the Klutch and all of them wondering where there Sharkman was! Our heroes had to explain their tardiness by breaking the news that His Sharkness had crashed but was going to be fine!!!

The Klutch was rocking after
the ride!!!

Thanks Skittles, you did the Nation proud!

Zyckmann bought the coffee at the Klutch as they all raised their Bottomless to their intrepid hero, Sharkman! Thanks Fabio! 

You won't want to miss this weeks edition, sans Sharkman, though he may show up for Koffee and to sign autographs!!! Well, if he can move by then.......🥴

Saturday, June 18, 2022

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be safe out there!

MORE NEWS IN FROM THE DIRTY DONUT!!!

Belo News

Snow White on top of the podium!

June 4, 2022

Martin, Mi. - This news didn't make press time last week but we thank Reporter Raptor for getting it in this week!!

Take it away, Raptor!!!

Thought I would give you some blog stuff on the Dirty Donut Gravel Race! I should have sent it sooner after the race but I wanted to find the photographers race photos.

"Magic Mirror" on the wall, who is the fairest Donut racer of all?!"

Snow White raced the Donut 41 mi. Sprint finishing 2nd in the Woman's overall with an overall impressive time of 2:13 and pace of 18.5 mph!!

Snow White on her way
to the podium!

Congratulations to Snow White! 

Meanwhile, Raptor did not place as well with a 6th place finish in the 60-69 age division of the 41 mi. sprint with a time of 2.05 time and a pace of 19.6 mph! However, he was very pleased with his performance as he was only 1 minute and 12 seconds off the podium!!

Impressive performances Shark Minions! You did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!

Raptor in action!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.