Men of the Peloton with Luann!

WOLF KING BUYS?

HOSSMAN SHOWS MID SEASON FORM!

ICE?  WHAT ICE!?

BARRY/ROUBAIX THIS WEEKEND!       

BIKE SALES MEANS IT MUST BE SPRING!

Belo News

March 16, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - What a difference a year makes!  

At least that was what everyone was talking about on Saturday morning as the Nation reminisced about the fact it had been 80 degrees just a year ago when close to 30 Minions showed up to ride.  That was not the case this year as the weather turned on the mighty Minion Nation for the first time in 8 Opening Days and the peloton was faced with not only cold weather and winds, but ice and snow covered roads. The wind chill put the temps at about 16 degrees!

Our Hero! "What snow?"

As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero awoke to the sound of the theme from the movie Jaws on his Shark Alarm.  It was Opening Day and our hero was pretty excited to get to the window to see what Mother Nature was dishing out.  At bed time the forecast had not sounded good and several Minions had texted our hero asking if the ride was still on.

Actually, the minute Belo News went to press announcing Opening Day, riders peppered the Belo News Offices on whether it was really happening! Some were confident of the ride, like Mad Dog who emailed and asked our hero if he was riding or driving to the start. Sharkman advised that he doesn't ride to the start until the weather gets to at least 45!  Even Wolf King, who many of you may remember, started talking smack to the old Shark about who would be buying the koffee.  Others were not so sure the ride would be taking place.  One Minion actually called on Saturday morning to ask if the ride was still on!

Wolf King, "Koffe's on me!"

Still on? This is the mighty Minion Nation Bunkie!

However, even our hero began to question his sanity when he saw the snow falling as he looked out over the Cove.  But after a check of the Shark Radar, it looked as though the snow was ending and he was quite sure (at least he convinced himself) that the roads would be clear as the snow had passed.  Lava Girl began asking if there wouldn't be a lot of snow and ice on the roads and Sharkman assured her that all would be fine.

Au contraire!

As our hero drove to the start in the Sharkmobile, his trusty steed in the back, the roads actually seemed fine, though wet.  That was probably due to the higher volume of traffic, but when he got to the start, there was Wolf King, unloading his car and getting ready to ride.

All Black "Are we doing this?"

Moments later, All Black arrived and the festivities began.  All Black mentioned that the roads seemed pretty snow covered near his house and Wolf King confirmed that report.  However, the Minions would not be denied!  It was determined that they would head out and see what the roads were like and if bad, would shorten the ride and return to the Klutch.

After Beyonce refused to get out of her limousine and stated that she would only lip sync from inside the car and the Mayor drove by and threw a key to the City at our hero, the ceremonial shout to begin echoed around the parking lot as Sharkman, doing his best Skipper impression, ordered all to get moving!

As the three riders headed towards the Klutch, Mad Dog arrived, having ridden over from Battle Creek and reporting snowy roads.  (Memo to file: this guy wins toughest Minion award for the season no matter what happens the rest of the year!)

After the Minion train rolled by the Klutch, giving their fans the first peloton wave of the season, they found their first patch of snow as they rounded the back roads to get out to 36th Street.  The peloton was sure it would get better when they got to 36th and the traffic would have cleared the snow.

Au contraire!

The mighty Minion Nation began their trek north, disappointed that the Sweetheart of the Peloton, Gazelle Girl, was no where to be seen.  Discussion ensued about riding to her estate and knocking on the door, but when the Nation arrived at her street and saw the snow, the decided they would need snowmobiles and it wouldn't be that funny anyway.

The further north the Nation rode, the more the roads were covered with snow and ice.  Sharkman was smart enough to have brought his cross bike and he could hear the crunch of ice and snow under his knobby tires.  Sharkman also tried to ride in snow whenever he could, as opposed to the slippery ice.  All Black, Wolf King and Mad Dog were not as lucky and were really feeling their back wheels trying to sneak around them to the front of their bikes!

Mad Dog enjoys a kup post ride!

Mad Dog, being the consummate Minion that he is, backed off at the honorary sprint so that Sharkman could take it.  There was no worry about Wolf King trying to steal this honor, as he was complaining about not only the ice, but the hills, how he hadn't been on the bike and how he wished he was lighter.

As the old Shark waited for the peloton at G Ave., another rider was approaching and he thought it might be Gazelle Girl.  However, it was Hossman hisself!  He was in a bright orange jacket and was actually wearing cycling tights as opposed to his cotton sweat pants from years past. However, in deference to his past and frugal ways, the had a rubber band holding the zippered ankle together as the zipper appeared broken.

Then there were five!

As the Nation move up to the col de Twin Lakes, the snow started to fall again and Hossman and Sharkman attacked the climb.  As they crested the hill, the entire road was covered in ice and snow and even the Sharkman's knobby rear well started to act like it wanted to pass our hero's front tire.  The sound of the crunch of snow and ice under their tires filled the air.

The nation had discussed stopping at Bissell Boy's, who had texted our hero before the ride that he was "taking a snow day!"

That idea was quickly tanked as the peloton approached the Yorkville Church on snow covered roads and Hossman's rear wheel finally managed to pass his front wheel and he went down hard on the ice!  Sharkman was at the front and missed the crash,  but Wolf King described it as being like watching a baseball player sliding into second base!  Wolf King also witnessed Mad Dog make one heck of a maneuver to avoid crashing into the sliding Hossman and avoiding falling himself!

Hossman stated he gave an all clear but when he began to tell the peloton that the crash was caused as he lost concentration when he thought he saw a polar bear chasing a penguin on the side of the road, the entire peloton knew it was time to head back.  Not only because of the crash, but because it was so cold and snowy everyone thought there might be some truth in the polar bear chasing the penguin story!

Interestingly, as the peloton headed past the church to head south on 37th Street, the snow had stopped and the roads were much less ice packed.

Hossman throwing done his Koffee!

Showing no signs of injury from the crash but showing definite signs of early season form, Hossman put in a humongus pull on the final leg and the Nation arrived safe at the finish, where Mad Dog had his second flat tire of the day and was late getting to the Klutch.  

The small turn out of fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the mighty Minion Nation rode into town.  There was no need to zip up their jerseys for the sponsors, as the peloton was so bundled up the biggest fear was falling on their backs and not being able to get up without help.

The Klutch was hopping with paparazzi and tofosi and only two tables were left open, but the Koffee was hot and WOLF KING WAS BUYING! Oh, the humanity.

Of course, Wolf King did comment that he liked to buy when the turnout was low!

Since the ride was cut short, there was more time to enjoy the Klutch ambiance and talk about the upcoming season and the cold spring weather!

When our Hero got back to the Sharkmobile, a freezing drizzle started to fall and he immediately thought of Mad Dog riding his bike back to Battle Creek and with a tire that had already flatted twice, he did not want to leave a Minion behind.

Sharkman found Mad Dog at the top of the Eaton Plant hill and he looked strong and told Sharkman to go on home.  Sharkman checked in with him later by email and Mad Dog, who is now an official legend of the peloton and whose name we may have to change to Man of Steel, made it back home safe and sound, though a bit wet and cold.

What will happen next week?

Will everyone be at Barry/Roubaix?

Will anyone show up to ride with the Sharkman?

Well come on out and find out!

Saturday, March 23, 2013 

Day Two of the Season!

Launch Time - 9:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

BARRY/ROUBAIX THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

March 21, 2013

Hastings, Mi. - This weekend is the famous Barry/Roubaix Ride/Race in Hastings, Michigan.  This race of varying lengths, is ridden on dirt/gravel and some paved roads and a bunch of Minions will be riding!  Dr. Dave forwarded a note from the race that they had made some minor changes to the route due to the potential for cold and snowy weather.

Belo News wishes all the Minions riding at Barry/Roubaix a safe and successful ride and as Sharkman always says, "Make the mighty Minion Nation proud!"

BIKE SHOP NEWS!

Belo News

March 21, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - We are pleased to report that Custer Cyclery is now open for the season!  

And don't forget the ALFRED E. BIKE SPRING SALE THIS WEEKEND! 

It must be Spring if the sale is on!  Sale hours extend into Monday! Is this a great country or what?

Sale Hours:

Friday, March 22nd (10am - 6pm)

Saturday, March 23rd (9am - 5pm)

Sunday, March 24th (Noon - 4pm)

Monday, March 25th (10am - 6pm)

Virtually everything in the store will be on sale during those three days!

All Yeti Boy needs is a basket!  It had a bell!

YETI BOY CHECKS IN FROM QUERETARO!

Belo News

March 10, 2013

Queretaro, Mexico - While the Nation is freezing up in the great white north, Yeti Boy continues to report in from Mexico where he is riding mountain bike, as well as city cruisers! This week Yeti Boy enjoyed a tour of the old city of Queretaro on a nice ladies bike, complete with bell!  Does this man know how to travel or what?  

Actually, when Sharkman mentioned that all he needed was a bell and a basket, another picture of his bell appeared in the response but we couldn't get it downloaded!  

Does this Minion have class!

Yeti Boy hopes to return to the peloton in April and we are hoping he will be riding his sleek road bike and not a blue ladies bike with a bell!

Viva Bikes!

OPENING DAY THIS SATURDAY!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News

March 14, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - The day every Minion has been waiting for is upon us!

It is finally here!

As many veterans of the Mighty Minion Nation are aware, for 8 consecutive Opening Days the weather has cooperated.  Actually, as sited in the 2012 Belo News, the National Weather Service launched an inquiry but the investigative initiative proved negative.  Just dumb luck?  We think not! We ARE the Mighty Minion Nation and no matter the weather, WE RIDE! (Well, most of the time.....)

There have been years when it has been a bit cold, and years when more sane riders may not have ridden, but the Nation has seen some pretty historic Opening Days and no one has ever accused a Minion of being sane!

The Nation is just hoping for yet another, great day of riding!  Minions might also remember that for the second week of the season last year, we had 75 degree temperatures and record breaking crowds!

Though we are not expecting rain, it could be a bit cool with a high for Saturday of 37 degrees and winds out of the north at 11 mph, but THAT IS great Opening Day weather, eh?

If the weather is bad, the Nation will still celebrate Opening Day, but we will adjourn to the Klutch.  However, it is expected that the Nation will ride!

At least it is better than riding the trainer in the basement, eh, Bunkie?

Minions will want to arrive a bit early to take part in the Opening Ceremony's where it is hoped that Beyonce doesn't lip sync and where the Mayor of Galesburg will actually be giving a Key to the City to our own Sharkman.

2012 Opening Day Photo!

And, of course, the traditional Opening Day Photo opportunity!  Come on, who doesn't want to be in the Opening Day photo!

Or the parade!  OH, the humanity!

This Saturday, March 16, 2013

Launch Time 9:30 A.M. - SHARP!

Don't be late!

SPRING SEASON!

Belo News

March 14, 2013

(Editors Note - Repeated by popular demand from last years Belo News! 

If you have been holding back on riding, Spring is the time to come on out while the nation is finding their summer legs!)

Shark Cove, Mi. - Over the winter, a number of new Minions have joined the Nation’s distribution list and Opening Day may be their very first ride. So Belo News wants to go over what being a Minion is all about and the “culture” of this iconic Saturday morning ride.

1. The very definition of a Minion is a rider who has family, job and other obligations that do not allow them to hammer on their bike all the time. This ride is more about getting a good work out, testing your skills in group riding and having a good time with good riders. Though we like to sprint for Stop Ahead Signs, we wait for all riders to catch back on at the Stop signs. One of the Minion Motto’s is that “We leave no Minion behind!” In the Minion Nation, it is all about the group! Because the Minions do wait at each stop sign, it is important to let riders know if you are dropping off the ride.

2. Opening Day is a bit more “relaxed” than regular rides, so it is a good time to come out and test your legs. Though there should be some fun sprints and of course the final assault to the finish, this first ride will hopefully be social and an opportunity to “shake winter out” of those dorsal fins and catch up with one another.

3. Having said that, we want all riders to have a good time, and hammer heads need not apply. There are plenty of area rides if you want to hammer. This ride is more about the experience and the enjoyment of riding fast in a pace line in a large group of riders. So if you want to hammer the entire ride, this may not be the ride for you. But feel free to knock yourself out sprinting to the Stop Aheads!

4. As the season goes on and the speed picks up, we do occasionally have a “B” group and we are always looking for people to lead that group.

5. Because this is a group ride it is important to obey all traffic laws as well as appropriate group riding etiquette. The number one concern is safety and riding in a pace line requires good communication with other riders, as well as concentration. Don’t worry, veteran Minions will let you know if you are not following proper etiquette. However, if you are unsure about something, ask. Each rider is responsible for their own safety and as it says in the blog:

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

6. If you cannot stay with the group, you should let someone know you are dropping off so that the Minions are not waiting at the next Stop Sign for you. Depending on the number of riders, it can be difficult to determine if riders have dropped off or are left behind, but if you have a mechanical or are dropping off, let a rider ahead of you know.

We look forward to seeing everyone at the start line on Saturday morning!

Yeti Boy & Da Judge ride Mexico!

YETI BOY DOES MEXICO…..AGAIN!

Belo News

March 10, 2013

San Miguel, Mexico - As the Mighty Minion Nation works it's way to the start of this years season, our own Yeti Boy is on location in Mexico to report his adventures for Belo News.  As many Minions may remember, he shared his exploits last year where he experienced numerous flat tires and mechanical issues.  This year, he is armed with a better bike and has found a group to ride with as their "Celebrity Rider."

Yeti Boys first ride was aborted early due to cold temperatures and a lack of appropriate cold weather riding gear!

His second ride was with another Battle Creek native and possible Minion (?), Da Judge! 

Stay tuned for more stories of Ole Mexico from our man on the scene, Yeti Boy!

Speaking of reporting, we here at Belo News are always looking for news, so please send in any information you might have and any photos!  We here at Belo News want to make sure we report on ALL the news!

THE MID WINTER UPDATE! (Finally!)

WHAT HAS SHARKMAN BEEN DOING ALL WINTER?

Greetings from the Sharkman!

POLE 2 POLE WINNERS ANNOUNCED!

END OF WINTER PARTY - FRIDAY FEBRUARY 22, 2013

OPENING DAY SATURDAY MARCH 17, 2013! 

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

February 12, 2012

Shark Cove , Mi. - We here at Belo News apologize for the delay in getting the "Mid Winter Update" out to everyone, but our intrepid hero has kept us busy this winter.  The man, the myth, the legend has not sat in front of the fireplace knitting and sipping bourbon, Bunkie!  

NO, he has been one busy Shark and has not let snow, rain OR sleet stop him on his appointed rounds of riding, skiing or ukulele playing!

Sharkman, the Great Moultini & MK at Custer!

You heard that right, Bunkie!  Yes, our hero has taught himself how to play the ukulele! 

Is there anything our hero cannot do?  Oh, the humanity!

While many of the Mighty Minion Nation have been forced to work this winter, our hero has been enjoying retirement, visiting with his sharklet's, learning new string instruments, riding his bike out at Ft. Custer with his son in laws AND skiing at Sherman Lake and  Kellogg Forest!  

Is this a great country or what?!?

In this in-depth investigative report, we go behind the scenes to see what our hero has been doing since last we heard him quoted as saying, "is this a great country or what?"

Bissell Boy, Yeti Boy, the Great Moultini & the Fat Bike!

(Where else can you find this kind of reporting?)

In December, the Sharklet's invaded the Shark Cove for Christmas and kept our hero and Lava Girl busy for two whole weeks.  In addition to playing with the sharklets, he also managed to get in rides with his son in laws out at Ft. Custer.  Bissell Boy was kind enough to lend his new Fat Bike to son in law Sam, which the great Moultini loved, and his very own sons 29er for Sharkman's other son in law, MK to use.  Bissell Boy and Yeti Boy were able to make a number of the rides with the Shark Family and on occasion they ran into Stryker Guy, Danimal, M.C. Hammer, Chumbly and others out on the trails.

Yeti Boy, Bissell Boy & Tow Truck on the trail!

When the snow arrived, our hero headed out on his cross country ski's with Yeti Boy, Bissell Boy and Tow Truck for some shish booming!  Sharkman loves to ski and also went night skiing for some added excitement!  

Sharkman has been reported as not being happy about the fact that the snow never seems to stay more than a few days, but he will take what he can!  The Shark loves winter!

Sharkman does some night skiing!

The Sharkman was quoted as saying, "if you can't find things to do in the winter, Bunkie, you just aren't trying!"

Yep, Sharkman has had a great winter, but he is really looking forward to leading the Mighty Minion Nation out on the first sprint of the year coming up in March!

So shake the dust off those road bikes and get ready!  

Opening Day will be here before you know it (see story below)!

And the winner is.....Brewman!

POLE 2 POLE RACE RESULTS!

TOE SETTER?

Belo News

February 2, 2013

Richland, Mi. - With a real winter this year, the Zickman was pretty darn excited about the Annual Pole to Pole Race, though he was a bit concerned on whether the lake would be frozen enough for the mass of Minions who might descend on the palatial Zickman Estate. However, always ready, Zickman had an alternate route arranged in the event Gull Lake had not frozen enough, even though it is well known that the Shark Minions love cold water!

Zickman reported that it was a fun day in the snow!  Though attendance was low with only 6 brave souls, they were, none the less, ready to challenge Mother Nature with 4 on bikes and two intrepid cross country skiers!

Brent, Hossman & Brewman at the front!

In the bike category was Hossman, Brewman, Brent Slezak (whose Minion name we can't seem to remember) and of course, the party animal himself, Zickman! 

The Sweetheart of the Peloton, Gazelle Girl and her personal foot physician, Dr. Toe (who wants to change his name to "Toe Setter") led the cross country skiing division. As Gazelle Girls says, "How can you pass up skiing!" (That's why we love you Gazelle Girl!) 

The course was described as fairly tough, starting at the flag pole at the Zickman Estate and moving up the hill to the road and then down past the usual TdG route to the turn at the Kellogg Bio Station into the run up to the Bible Conference Hills, moving to a jaunt on the "Succession Trail" (whatever that is….?). If that wasn't tough enough, it was back on the road to return to the Zickman Estate and down the hill to where the flag pole AND the beer was waiting!  

No serous falls, but cold hands and feet were reported.  This year the big winner was Brewman, followed by Brent, Hossman and Zickman.  Dr. Toe took first in the cross country ski division with Gazelle Girl, keeping her toe setter in sight, was just a ski length behind.

The Nation quickly retired to the fire heated porch of the Zickman Estate and drank down the mini keg of Bells Two Hearted Ale and a half of the 6 pack prizes while nibbling on Gazelle Grils chips and 2 delicious dips.  Of course, after the hard ride, ski, the partying Minions were joined by Builder Bob, Boatman and another identified Minion who described himself as a rider who had ridden with the nation a couple of years prior and had hit a dog and crashed and broke his neck and is just getting back into riding again.  Well, welcome back to the Mighty Minion Nation whoever you are!  Even Kid Gallagher stopped by to sign a few autographs!  Anybody who is anybody was there!  Well, except the Sharkman….

Brewman & Dr. Toe take in their booty!

At the Awards Ceremony, Dr. Toe commented that the Lance Armstrong poster he won would serve as a target for Gazell Girl and Dr. Toe to shoot at a party this summer.  (We hope Belo News is invited to that one!).

During the festivities, Dr. Toe was inadvertently called Toe Setter and he liked the name so much he has made an appeal to the Commissioner of Cycling to get his name changed.  Not sure how that will go, but we do know that the Commissioner can be bought.  Just saying…..

After the prizes were awarded to those left standing, the party disbanded at around 7 p.m. 

It is noted that there were no snow bikes this year!  What's with that? 

As Zickman was quoted as saying, "what are they waiting for?"

Big thanks to the Zickman for a great party and Sharkman's only comment was "he better have this race on a weekend when I can make it next year!"

END OF WINTER PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT, FEBRUARY 22, 2013

Belo News

February 22, 2013

Battle Creek, Mi. - Team Active will be having their 20th Annual End of Winter Party on Friday night, February 22, 2013 from 5-9 p.m. and anyone who is anyone in cycling will want to be there!

This event draws bikers from all over southern Michigan and is a great event to get riders motivated for the upcoming season.  This years Celebrity Guest will be the CEO of Trek Bicycles, John "JB" Burke!

There will plenty to eat and drink and of course, the winter ending sale.  Go to their site for more information;

http://teamactive.com/

OPENING DAY, SATURDAY, MARCH 16, 2013!

Belo News

March 16, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Just as the pro peloton awaits the announcement of the next Tour de France route, the mighty Minion Nation waits to hear when the biggest day of the year in the Nation will be announced.

Well this is it Bunkie!  That day is now!

Saturday, March 16, 2013 at 10:00 A.M. the Mighty Minion Nation will begin their 2013 Season Campaign!

Since it is St. Paddy's Day and our own intrepid hero, the Sharkman is rumored to be Irish, the Nation should wear their Irish National Jersey's!  What?  You don't have one?  Then put on a green jersey!  What, don't have one of those either?  Then buy a freakin Irish T shirt or something!  Come on Bunkie, get on the program!  It's St. Paddy's Day!  Maybe Luann will have green Koffee for the Nation when they get to the Klutch!?!

Belo News will put out another edition before Opening Day, but the Minion Nation is being called to action to get ready for the big day now!

Will the Governor be there?

Will the Mayor of Galesburg be the official starter?

Will Sharkman be there?

Will there be koffee?

Well BE THERE and find out for yourself!

Gathering of the Klan!

A GATHERING OF THE KLAN!

MINIONS TURN OUT IN MASS!

WHO WAS THAT MINION IN THE KEVLAR STOLE?

Belo News

November 10, 2012

Augusta, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, padding through the shark kitchen with the smell of fresh coffee wafting in his gills and the excitement of a ride on his little mind.  

Sharkman was excited to be riding with his Minion Nation at Ft. Custer for the last ride before the Deer Hunters take over his beloved mountain bike playground. 

The weather was cooperating and it was shaping up to be another fantastic day for the mighty Minion Nation!

Styker Guy gets ready....

As Sharkman sipped his first cup of coffee, the Shark Phone began to buzz with a text from Zickman inquiring if the Shark was starting from the Trail Head, to which he responded that he was indeed! Well, at least one other Minion besides Yeti Boy would be there!

Yeti Boy pulled into the Cove with his old pick up truck, where Sharkman was waiting with his camel back in one hand and a fresh cup of coffee for Yeti Boy in the other.

He quickly threw his bike on the back of the truck, handed Yeti Boy his coffee and off they went to the start, yapping about the ride and sipping their joe. Is this a great country or what?

As the duo pulled into Ft. Custer they found Stryker Guy on their tail, and when they pulled into the Trail Head, Sharkman was happy to be greeted by a cast of Minions waiting to do the last ride before Deer Season! 

Oh, the humanity!

Da Yoop makes an appearance!

All Black was there with his brand new Giant 9er for his virgin mountain bike ride on the new steed!

A couple of long lost Minions were also in attendance as Da Yoop, long time Minion, occasional rider, was in the peloton along with the longest serving Minion in the Nation, Karl the Kannibal who came all the way from Jackson to join in the fun.

Tow Truck and side kick, Luke Skywalker along with Danimal, Gazelle Girl and of course, Zickman were circling the parking lot ready to ride as Stryker Guy got his bike unloaded and ready.

Tow Truck, who has had major shoulder/rotor cuff surgery on BOTH shoulders debuted what was promptly named by Gazelle Girl as the "Kevlar Stole" shoulder pads! (see photo).  As Tow Truck said, "these shoulders can't take anymore injuries!"  Tow Truck was living the Minion Credo, "If you can't be good, look good!"  However, as Tow Truck demonstrated on the trails, he not only "looks good" he is "good!"

Gazelle Girl, who had broken the rear derailleur on her "sports car of mountain bikes" cross bike while doing a night ride at the Ft. (You heard that right, a night ride.  Sharkman doesn't think he has good enough night vision for riding at the Ft. at night!) was riding a real mountain bike! What a studdette!

longest serving Minion, the Kannibal!

Since this was his virgin ride on the new 9er for All Black, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, announced he would be leading a ride out on the Blue while he asked legendary trail blazer Danimal to lead the rest of the riders out on the Red.

Danimal took the main group out through "the Trenches" as Sharkman, Yeti Boy, Stryker Guy and All Black followed but cut off at the Blue trail after the Camel Humps.

All Black took well to the trails and was buzzing along easily when, unfortunately, his handlebars came loose.  No one had an allen wrench to tighten the bars and the foursome headed back to the Trail Head to see if any of the Red Loop group had returned and had a wrench to tighten down the bar.

Unfortunately, the main group was still out on the trails and All Black decided he would ride back to his car and head home as any further riding would be hazardous to his health and he was not wearing a "Kevlar Stole."

Tow Truck, Luke Skywalker & "the Kevlar Stole!"

Meanwhile, Yeti Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman headed back out on the Red Trail and when they returned, the main group was still not back, or at least most of them were not as their cars were still in the parking lot.  Apparently, they were having a great time out on the trails!

Thus, the 2012 Minion Season draws to a great close!  

It has been a phenomenal year for cycling, but the Nation holds out hope there may be some additional rides after Deer Season closes and if the snow fall is light like last year.

All Black on his new 9er!

So stay tuned for occasional updates and news on the Minion Nation this winter!

Thanks to Nation for a great season!

GUZZLE DOWN FOR THE TOWN!

Join the fun on Monday January 7, 2013!

Belo News

November 15, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - Acradia's Ales is hosting "Guzzle One Down for the Town" event on Monday, January 7, 2012.  

This event is for the Calhoun County Trailway! Proceeds from beer sales that night will go to the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance. 

Please support this fantastic event! 

Special thanks to Arcadia for supporting this great cause!

Here is the link to the event:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/287710781339507/

Drink beer AND help the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance?!?  Is this a great country or what!

Sharkman plans to be there, and he hopes you will be too!   Besides, what else is there to do on a cold winter's Monday night, eh Bunkie?

Iceman Cometh start in Kalkaska

MINIONS AT THE ICEMAN!

LOOK MA, NO SEAT!

FT. CUSTER REDUE THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

November 3, 2012

Traverse City, Mi. - The mighty Minion Nation was out in force for the Iceman Cometh 2012 edition and they came ready to make the Nation proud!

The weather was a bit more unfriendly this year when compared to last, but that didn't stop the Nation from stomping across 30 miles of northern Michigan's mud, sand and hills in spitting snow/sleet/rain! And oh, those hills!

Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman headed up to Traverse City early Friday, thinking about trying to ride the finish of the race to get an idea as to the new configuration.  However, it was raining/snowing when they arrived and they instead decided to get settled into their Condo, courtesy of McKeel Hagerty of Hagerty Insurance fame, and then go out to registration and the Bike Expo.  Sharkman was concerned that he needed to be there to sign autographs for his legions of fans who would be turning out to get a glimpse of the cycling icon.

The Bike Expo was by every description, OUTSTANDING!  

Registration was crowded but moved quickly.  Sharkman was a bit disturbed that no one asked for his autograph and completely confused by the fact that no one seemed to recognize the legend, yet Stryker Guy kept getting stopped to talk to by his adoring fans. 

Apparently the guy is a cycling icon! Who knew?

As Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman circled the Expo they ran into a few of the Minions, like Yeti Boy and Brent Slezak.  Yeti Boy reported he had ridden the finish and reported that it was both hilly and technical.  Brent reported that he had been interviewed on local TV!  Yes, even the press in Traverse City wants to interview the Minions!

Zickman joined the group later that evening at the Condo, after the trio had been out to dinner with their host, McKeel.  A big thanks from the Sharkman and his entourage to McKeel for all of his hospitality!

The four riders spent the evening discussing logistics and the weather conditions for the morning as Zickman and Bissell Boy were in waves that were an hour before Sharkman and Stryker Guy.  The weather, which had been predicted to be around 40 and partly sunny was changing……. and not for the better.

The riders woke up to snow and cold in Traverse City.  As they made their way to the finish area to drop off a car, the snow seemed to be increasing and the temps were around 29 degrees. Oh, the humanity!  The colder weather and the north wind were creating some lake effect snow that looked beautiful, but were going to create some slick conditions.  

Game on!  

This would be a real Iceman!

As they worked their way to the start in Kalkasa, the snow stopped and the sun began to play with the clouds as the wind seemed to calm.  The weather was beginning to look more manageable, at least in Kalkaska.  

Zickman's seatless stead!

As the riders began to unload their bikes, Sharkman jokingly commented to Zickman that it was going to be a tough ride without a seat on his bike.  Sharkman had assumed that Zickman had removed the seat to keep it dry on the ride up to Traverse City and that he would be putting it on in the parking lot.  

Au contraire mon frere!! 

As Sharkman and Zickman warmed up by riding in search of a port-a-jon and to get his registration package, Sharkman mentioned that Zickman had forgotten his seat.  

That is when Zickman stunningly revealed that he would be riding without a seat so he would not sit down and lose time!  

Wait? ......What?  .......Can that be right?  

You heard it here first, Bunkie!  Zickman rode the entire race sans seat!  

What a stud (or a nut)!  

Belo News reports, you decide!

MC Hammer & Chumbly

The buzz at the start is always great and Sharkman ran into Chumbly and M.C. Hammer who cheered him on as he started. He also saw Falcon who was heading out in an early wave. 

Sharkman was joined by Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy in his wave, along with the former Senior National Mountain Bike Champion! Talk about pressure!

At 10:36 A.M. Wave 33 which included Sharkman, Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy, took off with partly cloudy skies and 30 degree temperatures.

As the riders got off the streets and onto the trail, they hit their first sand pit and all the problems with getting through that was pretty interesting as a mass of riders fought to get into the right line.  It is always interesting how a rider (or at least Sharkman) forgets the difficulty of sand.  Last year, it was more dry and cold and the sand was hard packed,……however, that was not the case this year.

Iceman virgin, Yeti Boy turns in stellar performance!

The Iceman had increased the number of entrants for 2012 and it is believed the waves had larger numbers of riders rather than more waves.  The Iceman also changed the course, as they do each year, but this year there seemed to be much more single track.  Between the larger number of riders and with more single tracks, the bottlenecks were a major issue this year and at times riders had to stand in line for minutes at a time to get into the single track from two track sections.

As the riders got closer to Traverse City, the sky's darkened and the lake effect snow began to fall.  As they crossed Williamsburg Road, which is considered the halfway point of the race and where the hills really begin, there was a considerable drop in temperatures.  The single track did not let up and the hills got steeper and steeper as the Nation bore down on the finish area.

One of the wild things about this race is how they bring riders near the finish, where they can hear the shouting and cheering, then take them out again for another kilometer or so.  Weaving around those who had to walk up the hills was a major undertaking and anytime our riders got stopped, they too would have to walk, as there was no restarting on the bike halfway up a sandy/muddy hill.

Sharkman was excited, but gassed, as he approached finished and passed two riders at the top of a hill and as he got close to the tape he saw Hoosier Boy on the sidelines cheering him on.  The announcer was naming riders and Sharkman was pleased that his name was called out along with his advanced age, which brought a cheer from the fans.  

However, none of the Minions who had already finished heard the announcement and it is believed they were already in the Bell's Beer tent! 

Hey, where's the love?

Sharkman can walk!

However, good old Bissell Boy was waiting for our hero, having finished with a great time, and cheered as he and Stryker Guy came into the finish and as Sharkmans legs began to cramp.  

Stryker Guy and Yeti Boy had both had stellar first time Iceman's!

Sharkman was 20 minutes slower than last year, but as he talked to other Minions that seemed to be a common finish story as the course was purported to be a mile longer and the increase in single track and bottlenecks seemed to slow everyone down. 

Stryker Guy, a cycling icon!

An interesting aspect of cycling is that when riders are slower, they don't seem to want to give their time.  As Sharkman asked riders how they did, they would say, "fine" or "good" but not give a time, so he suspected that the course was slower this year which the times revealed later.

After a change of clothes, Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman headed to the Bell's Beer tent, while Zickman, who actually rode the entire race without a seat, headed back to Kalkaska to get his car.

Sharkman ran into Gazelle Girl near the beer tent (where else) and learned that her tandem partner couldn't make the race, so she rode the race on her cross bike!  As she has always said, her cross bike is "the sports car of mountain bikes" and to prove it, she had beaten our hero by over 20 minutes! It is hard to believe that anyone could get through those sand sections on a skinnier tire, but she did and did it fast!  

Whoa Bunkie! What a studdette!

Our hero with his hero, Gazelle Girl!

Oh, the humanity!

Stryker Guy again, had an entourage around him as he moved around the finish area.  This guy may have to start his own blog!

The finish area was rocking as riders talked of their "epic" rides and the thrills and spills of this legendary race.  

Sharkman's entourage host, McKeel Hagerty had an outstanding race considering he had not ridden the event in a number of years.

Other Minions who took part were Falcon and his son, the Unnamed Rider, who both had sensational times, particularly with Falcon coming off his major elbow injury/reconstruction.  

Rainman snapped his chain in the final kilometers and had to run his bike in to the roar of the crowd and still had a fast time! 

Wrongway also had a great performance on his new dual suspension single speed!

Hutch, Brewman, Hoosier Boy, Danimal and Polar Bear all reported in with great performances.

For all the finishing results check out the following website;

http://resultsarchive.active.com/pages/displayNonGru.jsp?rsID=136838

We apologize if we missed any Minions, but these are the only riders Belo News was made aware of.

Stryker Guy, Sharkman & Bissell Boy

Mean while, Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy and Sharkman stood with their Bells beverage in hand, with chunks of snow falling into their beer from the trees and splashing the suds on their jackets.  They could only smile with the satisfaction of knowing they had finished this epic ride and were now enjoying beer enhanced by falling snow.  Pure Michigan, eh Bunkie?

Is this a great State or what?

After some Mac and Cheese (Sharkman loves the Mac and Cheese at the food court of the finish area as he needs comfort food after an "epic" ride!), they decided to head back to the Condo to meet Zickman and to shower their wet and cold bodies.  

However, Sharkman did have to get in and out of the car a few times with foot cramps, however, he did make it on his third try.

Sherpa, Buick Boy, Bissell Boy, Iceman, Nick Head, Cleary & Zickman party!

Some of the Team Taylor riders showed up at the condo to celebrate along with their Super Sherpa who had done the logistics for them. (see photo). Super Sherpa, Iceman, Nick Head, Buick Boy and Cleary all reported solid performances.  The entire group partied as they watched the MSU/Nebraska game and drank a few adult beverages.

It was another great Iceman and everyone was already talking about next year!

Bissell Boy kicks back to watch the Spartans!

If you would like to see some photos from the Iceman you can find them at this link:

http://www.jhkunnenphoto.com/p765165091

And for the Velo News story on the event, check out:

http://velonews.competitor.com/2012/11/news/mountain/iceman-comeths-steve-brown-a-simple-ride-spawns-insane-race_264144

Hopefully even more of the Minions Nation will be able to make it next year!

THIS SATURDAY, FINAL FT. CUSTER RIDE BEFORE DEER SEASON!

Belo News

November 8, 2012

Ft. Custer, Mi. - One of the big questions at Iceman was, "will there be anymore mountain bike rides at the Fort?"

Oh, yes there will be Bunkie! Well, at least one more!

You asked for it and you will get it!

The weather is looking good for this Saturday and Deer Season opens the week after, so get those mountain bikes ready to ride!

This Saturday, November 10, 2012

Meet at the Ft. Custer Trail Head!

9:00 A.M. launch - SHARP!  

We'll let it warm up at bit!

Be there!

GUZZLE DOWN FOR THE TOWN!

Date Correction! - New Date!

Join the fun on Monday January 7, 2013!

Belo News

November 7, 2012

Battle Creek, Mi. - The date for Acradia's Ales hosting of "Guzzle One Down for the Town" event has changed from  December 3, 2012 to Monday, January 7, 2012.  

This event is for the Calhoun County Trailway! Proceeds from beer sales that night will go to the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance. 

Please support this fantastic event! 

Special thanks to Arcadia for supporting this great cause!

Here is the link to the event:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/287710781339507/

Drink beer AND help the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance?!?  Is this a great country or what!

Sharkman plans to be there, and he hopes you will be too!   Besides, what else is there to do on a cold winter's Monday night, eh Bunkie?

Saturday morning at Ft. Custer!

SHARKMAN RETURNS!

WHERE WERE ALL THE MINIONS?

BIKER CHICKS?

CYCLO-CROSS MINIONS!

Belo News

October 20, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - After being in Ireland for two weeks, and having not been on the bike for close to three, our intrepid hero awoke in the dark with trepidation as he contemplated a long ride at Ft. Custer.

Yeti Boy pulled into the Cove in his old pick up truck and Sharkman loaded up his stead in the back.

The two discussed the fact that they had both been off the bike and with the Iceman two weeks away, they obsessed about lack of training.  

Yeti Boy & Sharkman with their fans!

When the two Minions arrived at the Klutch, they were greeted by the Saturday early morning crew and Mary, Chief Minion Fan, came over to sit with the boys.  As more of the early morning crew came in, two more ladies joined the discussion as Yeti Boy gave a primer on the inconsistency of protein in store bought flour.  Once Sharkman introduced Yeti Boy as a famous baker of bread, the discussion turned to baking, flour and protein.  

Sharkman began to worry, as 8:00 a.m. rolled around, that no other Minions had come in for Koffee and he assumed they would be at the trail head.

At 8:00 a.m. - SHARP - the two riders bid a fond farewell to the biker chicks, and headed to the fort.  It was one of those drop dead gorgeous days that Michigan and the Fort are famous for.  The sun was breaking through the clouds with duck hunters sitting at the edge of lake Whitaker as our two heroes rode to the trail head.

Much to their surprise, the only Minion in the parking lot was Brewman, but he was ready to ride.  The three hearty Minions waited until 8:30 a.m. and when no one arrived, they took off to do the Blue, then the Red trails.

As our hero started the "Trenches" section he got a text message and wondered if someone had arrived late at the Trail Head.  But, as we all know, when Sharkman says, 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! he means SHARP and he kept on riding. He wasn't going to stop and pull his phone out of his Camel Back for a late Minion!

The day got even more beautiful as the three riders circled Whitaker Lake and headed into the Red Trail.  When they approached the Trail Head, Brewman said he was going back out to do the Green, as Yeti Boy and Sharkman headed back to the Klutch.  

As the two riders came out of Ft. Custer, it began to drizzle and Sharkman was glad he had gotten his ride in early.  When they got back to the Klutch, they had ridden 24 miles and were feeling marginally better about their training.  AS they got into the truck, Sharkman checked that Text Message….it was from Rainman.  "Ride this morning?  I looked at the radar and drew the white flag….."

Sharkman responded, "Wussy! Just finished 25 miles and only started raining when we got back to the Klutch." To which Rainman responded, "LOL, I'm packing up to go now!

Rainman found out the hard way and rode in the rain anyway!

Unfortunately, Lava Girl has other plans for our intrepid hero this week, so he will not be able to ride this Saturday and the following Saturday is the Iceman.  He is hoping to see a lot of the Minion Nation up at the Iceman this year!!

Watch for a report on the Iceman in an upcoming issue (if our hero survives...) of your source for all your cycling information, the Belo News!

Dr. Dave shows winning form!

MIGHTY MINION NATION TAKES CYCLO-CROSS BY STORM!

Belo News

October 14, 2012

Caledonia, Mi. - As the mighty Minion Nation is aware, it is cycle-cross season and that means great racing at the Krisscross series of races across Western Michigan.

It also means the mighty Minion Nation is partaking of these events and doing pretty darn well!

Kato & Green Hornet...

Our own Dr. Dave recently won his first C Division Race and will be promoted to the "Big Boys" in the next couple of weeks!

Other riders who did well in the "B" group were the Green Hornet and Kato, Brewman and Ironman!

As Dr. Dave was quoted as saying, "One cyclo-cross race under my belt.  Will ride with the big boys in three weeks. Must do more intervals!  Great anaerobic fun!  Most fun since the North Country Trail Relay.

Liking Mud, Sweat and Cowbells."  

Ironmand & Brewman

We couldn't have said it better, Dr. Dave and thanks for the report!

For more information on these great races, check out the website;

http://www.kisscross.com

GUZZLE DOWN FOR THE TOWN!

Join the fun on December 3, 2012!

Belo News

December 3, 2012 

Battle Creek, Mi. - Minions!  Mark your calendars!

Arcadia Ales will be hosting a "Guzzle One Down for the Town" event on December 3, 2012 for the Calhoun County Trailway! Proceeds from beer sales that night will go to the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance. 

Please support this fantastic event! 

Special thanks to Arcadia for supporting this great cause!

Here is the link to the event:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/287710781339507/

Editors Note - Drink beer AND help the Calhoun County Trailway Alliance?!?  Is this a great country or what!

Sharkman plans to be there, and he hopes you will be too!  

The Mighty Minion Nation's Season Ender!

HUGE TURN OUT FOR THE FINAL KK-TDG

IRONMAN TAKES THE FINALE!

THE KLUTCH ROCKS WITH MINIONS!

LAST ROAD RIDE OF THE SEASON! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

September 29, 2012

Shark Cove, Mi. - Is there anything as beautiful as a fall morning in Western Michigan?  Belo News doesn't think so!

This past Saturday was one of those picture perfect days that come in the fall, with crisp, cool air and brilliant colors that pop out as a rider heads to the start of the final road ride of the KK-TdG season.

Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, rolled out of his Sharkbed in the Cove thinking, "how could the season be over already?" but knowing that all good things must come to an end and with his upcoming two week trip, and everyone needing to move to the mountain bike in preparation for the Iceman, it was just a good time to wind things down.  But, it was hard to think about with the weather so great!

The old Shark had to put on his lights as dawn had not yet broken over the Cove as he headed out to the start.

As he turned on to Watkins Road he noticed a biker on the side of the road in the dark working on his tire.  The beam of Sharkman's bike light revealed the rider to be Mad Dog, who was already complaining that it was the third flat on that wheel since last Saturday's rainy ride.  Mad Dog told Sharkman to go ahead to insure the start and told him he would catch on.

As Sharkman arrived into the parking lot, in drove Yeti Boy, who jumped out of his car in riding shorts and said, "Whew, I didn't realize it was this cold!"  When Sharkman left the cove, the shark thermometer read 44 degrees and it seemed to have gotten colder during the ride over!  Undeterred, Yeti Boy began pulling his bike out and getting ready as he blew on his hands to get a bit of warmth on his ungloved mitts.

Hoosier Boy rode in with a coffee travel mug in his bottle cage (has this guy got class or what?), followed by All Black who had been missing in action the past few weeks.

Bissell Boy, Wildman and Zickman then rode in followed by Mad Dog, who was able to get his tire fixed, Ox, Kid Gallagher, Boatman, Skipper, Pirate, B-Rod, Cannon, Rainman, and Danimal.  Though there was nothing formal, 6 of the riders were wearing Bissell Kit, probably because it is the best warm riding gear they own (see photo).

The Skipper back to lead the Nation!

Skipper took charge and told the Nation to saddle up to head out.  The sound of shoes "clicking in"to pedals resounded around the school parking lot and the Mighty Minion Nation was pulling out of the station for the final ride of the year.

The Minions were stopped by the light in town and the early morning group at the Klutch waved our hero's on as they rode by and picked up Stingray who had parked at the Klutch and had ridden north to warm up.

Other Minions jumped on as the train pulled out of town, with Ironman, Falcon, Stryker Guy (who had started the morning with a flat) and Kid Doster all joining on.  The count was 23 or 24 Minios as the Skipper led the train out of town.

The Pirate and Wildman took over and led our hero out to the honorary sprint where he attempted to get an official count, but as we all know, he has a problem counting over 20.  Suffice it to say there were around 23-24 riders on this beautiful fall morning. We apologize if we missed anyone.....

The Minions were very sociable and the chatter went on through the next sprint and into the climb at the col de Twin Lakes where the sun danced across the water creating a fine, morning mist.

Falcon in his Shark Jersey was looking good!

As the Nation moved past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner (where Bissell Boy had to drop off) and into the Kountry Klub section, "mechanical" rang out in the peloton and the Nation splintered.  There were some who thought it was just a thrown chain and others who said it was a flat, so Sharkman decided to go back to find out. 

Sharkman found Rainman on the side of the road working on his tire, with major supervision from several Minions, including the Skipper, Hoosier Boy, Kid Doster and Falcon who road back  and continued to claim it was the slowest tire change on record.

The Nation came back together at Rt. 43 and stayed together through the Bible Conference Hills, Frona's and then all watched Zickman take the Inlet Sprint hammering that wooden bike like a lumberjack on a tree trunk. You could almost smell wood smoldering as he went by!

Rainman got into a discussion with the Pirate and the Skipper, who both had to jump off at Yorkville, and almost missed the turn on to 37th, which was finally open and paved smoother than a baby's butt.  It was good to be back on 37th Street!

It had been a while since the Nation had lined up for a pace line, so Sharkman went to the front and led it off.  Taking the speed up on the smooth road, the pace line hit speeds of 23-24 mph as the Nation performed a half way decent pace line until they got close to the G Ave. sprint where the nation broke a part.

As the Nation crossed the GGG Spot, Sharkman cautioned everyone to watch their lines as it looked like there would be a bunch finish with no Tow Truck or Hossman to pull the nation apart.

Sharkman jumped to the front with Ox and Stingray on his wheel.  After a minute or so at the front, Sharkman pulled off and Ox took over.  As Sharkman moved back, Stingray, a couple of bike lengths backed, told him to go ahead an move in.  "Move in?"  Where were the Minions?

As Ox and Sharkman threw themselves on their swords, they approached the ascent to the final sprint when Ox asked Sharkman, "are we the only ones pulling?" and "where is everyone?"

Sharkman replied, "Oh, they're there, they are just waiting to make their moves…."

At the top of the hill, Mad Dog broke loose with a huge surge, with Minions all over his butt!

Sharkman feared for the worse as the mighty Minion Nation bore down on the finish like a herd of buffalo with riders all over the road, fighting for position!

Ironman clinches the final!

But the Minions did hold their lines and though there was some minor "bumping,"it was a clean finish and Ironman took the sprint, with B-Rod and Canon on his tail.

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the tofosi turned out to see their heroes for the final time this season and the riders zipped up their jerseys for the sponsores.

The Klutch was crowded and rocking as one of the bigger turn outs of the year seemed to all stop for a a bottomless kup of joe.

There were Minions all over the Klutch and Luann had to reload and brew more koffee as she ran out after the first round.  Falcon, always wanting to get his name in the news, actually bought Sharkman's Bottomless Kup and all was well with the Nation.

Another great year for the Mighty Minion Nation!

However, it is not really over!

Sharkman will be taking a brief two weeks hiatus but hopes to be back to lead the Nation on some Ft. Custer riding on October 20th.  Watch for an email update on Friday October 19 for a Saturday morning ride!

Minions will either meet at the Klutch and ride into the Ft. or can meet at the trailhead.  Times to be determined (based on daylight).  These will be informal rides with several levels of riding ability.  So if you haven't ridden in a while, blow the dust off that mountain bike and get it ready!  

Or, get your cyclocross bike ready! As Gazelle Girl says, "the cyclocross bike is the 'sports car' of mountain biking!"

Thanks to the Mighty Minion Nation for another magical season on the field of dreams we have come to know as the KK-TdG!

Thanks to Luann and our home, the Koffee Klutch, for putting up with the Nation on Saturday mornings and for the best Koffee anywhere!

Wrongway fixes tire while B-Rod takes notes.

MINIONS RULE AT APPLE CIDER CENTURY!

Belo News

September 30, 2012

Three Oaks, Mi. - Rainman led a talented group of Minions at this years Apple Cider Century, the largest one day ride in America!

Riding over in the Team Active Van, Rainman and Wrongway met up with B-Rod for the famous ride.  Airman and Dutch were also suppose to be in the mix, but Airman was sick and Dutch had broken his collar bone, so the Minion threesome headed out and despite a flat tire experienced by Wrongway, had a great ride! B-Rod was quoted as saying it was his longest one day ride!

You did the Nation proud Minions!