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| Men of the Peloton with Luann! |
WOLF KING BUYS?
HOSSMAN SHOWS MID SEASON FORM!
ICE? WHAT ICE!?
BARRY/ROUBAIX THIS WEEKEND!
BIKE SALES MEANS IT MUST BE SPRING!
Belo News
March 16, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - What a difference a year makes!
At least that was what everyone was talking about on Saturday morning as the Nation reminisced about the fact it had been 80 degrees just a year ago when close to 30 Minions showed up to ride. That was not the case this year as the weather turned on the mighty Minion Nation for the first time in 8 Opening Days and the peloton was faced with not only cold weather and winds, but ice and snow covered roads. The wind chill put the temps at about 16 degrees!
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| Our Hero! "What snow?" |
Actually, the minute Belo News went to press announcing Opening Day, riders peppered the Belo News Offices on whether it was really happening! Some were confident of the ride, like Mad Dog who emailed and asked our hero if he was riding or driving to the start. Sharkman advised that he doesn't ride to the start until the weather gets to at least 45! Even Wolf King, who many of you may remember, started talking smack to the old Shark about who would be buying the koffee. Others were not so sure the ride would be taking place. One Minion actually called on Saturday morning to ask if the ride was still on!
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| Wolf King, "Koffe's on me!" |
Still on? This is the mighty Minion Nation Bunkie!
However, even our hero began to question his sanity when he saw the snow falling as he looked out over the Cove. But after a check of the Shark Radar, it looked as though the snow was ending and he was quite sure (at least he convinced himself) that the roads would be clear as the snow had passed. Lava Girl began asking if there wouldn't be a lot of snow and ice on the roads and Sharkman assured her that all would be fine.
Au contraire!
As our hero drove to the start in the Sharkmobile, his trusty steed in the back, the roads actually seemed fine, though wet. That was probably due to the higher volume of traffic, but when he got to the start, there was Wolf King, unloading his car and getting ready to ride.
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| All Black "Are we doing this?" |
Moments later, All Black arrived and the festivities began. All Black mentioned that the roads seemed pretty snow covered near his house and Wolf King confirmed that report. However, the Minions would not be denied! It was determined that they would head out and see what the roads were like and if bad, would shorten the ride and return to the Klutch.
After Beyonce refused to get out of her limousine and stated that she would only lip sync from inside the car and the Mayor drove by and threw a key to the City at our hero, the ceremonial shout to begin echoed around the parking lot as Sharkman, doing his best Skipper impression, ordered all to get moving!
As the three riders headed towards the Klutch, Mad Dog arrived, having ridden over from Battle Creek and reporting snowy roads. (Memo to file: this guy wins toughest Minion award for the season no matter what happens the rest of the year!)
After the Minion train rolled by the Klutch, giving their fans the first peloton wave of the season, they found their first patch of snow as they rounded the back roads to get out to 36th Street. The peloton was sure it would get better when they got to 36th and the traffic would have cleared the snow.
Au contraire!
The mighty Minion Nation began their trek north, disappointed that the Sweetheart of the Peloton, Gazelle Girl, was no where to be seen. Discussion ensued about riding to her estate and knocking on the door, but when the Nation arrived at her street and saw the snow, the decided they would need snowmobiles and it wouldn't be that funny anyway.
The further north the Nation rode, the more the roads were covered with snow and ice. Sharkman was smart enough to have brought his cross bike and he could hear the crunch of ice and snow under his knobby tires. Sharkman also tried to ride in snow whenever he could, as opposed to the slippery ice. All Black, Wolf King and Mad Dog were not as lucky and were really feeling their back wheels trying to sneak around them to the front of their bikes!
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| Mad Dog enjoys a kup post ride! |
Mad Dog, being the consummate Minion that he is, backed off at the honorary sprint so that Sharkman could take it. There was no worry about Wolf King trying to steal this honor, as he was complaining about not only the ice, but the hills, how he hadn't been on the bike and how he wished he was lighter.
As the old Shark waited for the peloton at G Ave., another rider was approaching and he thought it might be Gazelle Girl. However, it was Hossman hisself! He was in a bright orange jacket and was actually wearing cycling tights as opposed to his cotton sweat pants from years past. However, in deference to his past and frugal ways, the had a rubber band holding the zippered ankle together as the zipper appeared broken.
Then there were five!
As the Nation move up to the col de Twin Lakes, the snow started to fall again and Hossman and Sharkman attacked the climb. As they crested the hill, the entire road was covered in ice and snow and even the Sharkman's knobby rear well started to act like it wanted to pass our hero's front tire. The sound of the crunch of snow and ice under their tires filled the air.
The nation had discussed stopping at Bissell Boy's, who had texted our hero before the ride that he was "taking a snow day!"
That idea was quickly tanked as the peloton approached the Yorkville Church on snow covered roads and Hossman's rear wheel finally managed to pass his front wheel and he went down hard on the ice! Sharkman was at the front and missed the crash, but Wolf King described it as being like watching a baseball player sliding into second base! Wolf King also witnessed Mad Dog make one heck of a maneuver to avoid crashing into the sliding Hossman and avoiding falling himself!
Hossman stated he gave an all clear but when he began to tell the peloton that the crash was caused as he lost concentration when he thought he saw a polar bear chasing a penguin on the side of the road, the entire peloton knew it was time to head back. Not only because of the crash, but because it was so cold and snowy everyone thought there might be some truth in the polar bear chasing the penguin story!
Interestingly, as the peloton headed past the church to head south on 37th Street, the snow had stopped and the roads were much less ice packed.
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| Hossman throwing done his Koffee! |
Showing no signs of injury from the crash but showing definite signs of early season form, Hossman put in a humongus pull on the final leg and the Nation arrived safe at the finish, where Mad Dog had his second flat tire of the day and was late getting to the Klutch.
The small turn out of fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the mighty Minion Nation rode into town. There was no need to zip up their jerseys for the sponsors, as the peloton was so bundled up the biggest fear was falling on their backs and not being able to get up without help.
The Klutch was hopping with paparazzi and tofosi and only two tables were left open, but the Koffee was hot and WOLF KING WAS BUYING! Oh, the humanity.
Of course, Wolf King did comment that he liked to buy when the turnout was low!
Since the ride was cut short, there was more time to enjoy the Klutch ambiance and talk about the upcoming season and the cold spring weather!
When our Hero got back to the Sharkmobile, a freezing drizzle started to fall and he immediately thought of Mad Dog riding his bike back to Battle Creek and with a tire that had already flatted twice, he did not want to leave a Minion behind.
Sharkman found Mad Dog at the top of the Eaton Plant hill and he looked strong and told Sharkman to go on home. Sharkman checked in with him later by email and Mad Dog, who is now an official legend of the peloton and whose name we may have to change to Man of Steel, made it back home safe and sound, though a bit wet and cold.
What will happen next week?
Will everyone be at Barry/Roubaix?
Will anyone show up to ride with the Sharkman?
Well come on out and find out!
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Day Two of the Season!
Launch Time - 9:30 a.m. - SHARP!
Be there!
BARRY/ROUBAIX THIS SATURDAY!
Belo News
March 21, 2013
Hastings, Mi. - This weekend is the famous Barry/Roubaix Ride/Race in Hastings, Michigan. This race of varying lengths, is ridden on dirt/gravel and some paved roads and a bunch of Minions will be riding! Dr. Dave forwarded a note from the race that they had made some minor changes to the route due to the potential for cold and snowy weather.
Belo News wishes all the Minions riding at Barry/Roubaix a safe and successful ride and as Sharkman always says, "Make the mighty Minion Nation proud!"
BIKE SHOP NEWS!
Belo News
March 21, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - We are pleased to report that Custer Cyclery is now open for the season!
And don't forget the ALFRED E. BIKE SPRING SALE THIS WEEKEND!
It must be Spring if the sale is on! Sale hours extend into Monday! Is this a great country or what?
Sale Hours:
Friday, March 22nd (10am - 6pm)
Saturday, March 23rd (9am - 5pm)
Sunday, March 24th (Noon - 4pm)
Monday, March 25th (10am - 6pm)
Virtually everything in the store will be on sale during those three days!
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| All Yeti Boy needs is a basket! It had a bell! |
YETI BOY CHECKS IN FROM QUERETARO!
Belo News
March 10, 2013
Queretaro, Mexico - While the Nation is freezing up in the great white north, Yeti Boy continues to report in from Mexico where he is riding mountain bike, as well as city cruisers! This week Yeti Boy enjoyed a tour of the old city of Queretaro on a nice ladies bike, complete with bell! Does this man know how to travel or what?
Actually, when Sharkman mentioned that all he needed was a bell and a basket, another picture of his bell appeared in the response but we couldn't get it downloaded!
Does this Minion have class!
Yeti Boy hopes to return to the peloton in April and we are hoping he will be riding his sleek road bike and not a blue ladies bike with a bell!
Viva Bikes!
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