WHERE ARE ALL THE SHARK MINIONS??
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| Where are all the Shark Minions? |
GAZELLE GIRL, TOESETTER AND YETI BOY RETURN!!!
"DICKUS MAXXIMUS" OUT DICKS HIZZELF!!!
SHARKMAN FLATS ON FINAL SPRINT!!!
THE NATION MOVES TO THE FORT THIS SATURDAY!!!
BREAD PARTY AT YETI BOY'S AND ALL ARE INVITED!!!
Belo News
October 1, 2022
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke brisk and dry, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, had once again risen before the sun. He pondered that this would be the last "official" road ride of the year and wondered about the weeks ahead.
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| Sharkman in focus, check, Shark Minions in focus, check, no one cut out, Check. Must be the new camera....📸 |
It was "Shark Minion Anniversary Kit Day" and he was disappointed that the temp was reading 39 degrees on the Shark Themometer at the Shark Cove and he would have to cover his satorial splender with a jacket, arm and leg warmers and gloves!
Yeti Boy was back from 18 days in France and baking bread and was anxious to ride, pedaling into the Shark Cove right on time as Sharkman was still scrambling to find his leg warmers.
The two headed out and met up with Reb, sans the partying Fire, whose daughter was named Homecoming Queen the previous evening. Dickus Maximus was in rare form on the morning and was "manned up" riding with no leg cover in the 40 degree temps.
The three riders rode over easy, as they had not been on the bikes much of late and there was no Fire to push them. As they rode down into the Kalamazoo River Valley and saw the mist floating over the river, they also noted that the weather sign near the Post Office was stating a temp of 40 degrees. With a NNE wind predicted at around 7-10 mph, it was a cool morning as they could see each others breath as they spoke.
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| Fixit, sans tights! |
The trio were first on the scene at the start as other riders started to arrive. Fixit was back, and getting his steed ready, sans leg warmers as well. Soon after, the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" and her main squeeze, Toesetter, arrived to the shouts from the throngs of fans numbering in the ones, maybe nones as it was a cool morning! 🥶
Sharkman took one of his better selfie shots (might be the new phone he was forced to buy because his old sHark phone was so old he was told it would no longer work in a couple of months 🥴) and the official start photo. Shortly after he got his gloves back on and the sound of pedals clicking in, the mighty Shark Minion Train pulled out of the station and headed through the Galesburg metropolis, riding by a woman smoking and with a dog on a leash, on the corner wearing what seemed to indicate she had on torn fishnet stockings, garder belt and nothing else on her lower body. Not that Sharkman or the other male riders in the peloton noticed.....However, Gazelle Girl quickly informed the Nation that they were tights making everyone think she had nothing else on. Or so it was surmised......😬
As the Nation headed north, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter took the pace up and pulled their intrepid hero, the Sharkman, to his honorary sprint with Reb faking a Dickus Maximus move right up to the Stop Ahead sprint. Sharkman was forced to kick it up faster than he wanted to, but grabbed the sprint going away at a speed upwards of 23 mph. He reported being very temped to slam on the breaks and let Reb get himself in to "Personna Non Grata" status......
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| Yeti Boy and Dickus Maxximus before they battle for the Rt. 43 sprint! |
Gazelle Girl, after three weeks of mountain biking in the U.P. with Toesetter, was armed for bear and did, yet another pull to the next sprint and Toesetter, though on her wheel, was smart enough not to contest it.
The Shark Minion peloton continued up the col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner (which has not been repaved yet) and on past the Kountry Klub with Toesetter putting in a huge pulls into the NNE wind.
It was after this romp, that the riders sat up for all to catch on just before the Rt. 43 sprint.
Sharkman took the group out and Yeti Boy moved out from his slip stream to go for the Rt. 43 sprint. It was at this point that Reb, aka Dickus Maxximus, made his move on the speedy Yeti Boy.
Dickus Maxximus rode Yeti Boy like a rented yard tractor, pulling him to a possible win, when just before the Stop Ahead, Reb moved around him and then.....in a move he has made classic along with his title, he looked back at Yeti Boy and smiled as if to say, "Out Dicked you!"
However, in a huge tactical blunder, the look back over his right shoulder caused Reb to drift to the left, making him cross the double yellow lines, and he was immediatly disqualified for the major infraction and the sprint was awared to the hard working Yeti Boy who had been pulling in the section and more in the early stages!
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| Shark Minion steeds, ready to go!! |
It was a victory for America as Dickus Maxximus had out dicked himself!!!
Is this a great county or what?!?
As the Nation crested the col de Norte, after going around a woman who parked in the street to take photos of the bison, they were all on and Toesetter went to the front to put in a huge pull through the Holy Rollers where the group broke apart to the feed stop.
On through the Inlet, where a full and legal stop was executed, 🛑 past the very busy interestion of the Digital Divide, the riders kept the pace going.
After the DD crossing, Sharkman got the paceline going and turned it over, at the top of the first climb to Toesetter who again, put in yet another humongous pull.
As the fast moving, percision pace line of super skilled Shark Minions bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint, all wondered when Gazelle Girl, along with her designated leadout man, Reb, would make a move. The "Sweetheart of the Peloton" could be heard telling her leadout man, Dickus Maxximus, "not yet, not yet, hold on!" as they rode from behind.
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| Gazelle Girl arrives to shouts from the nones of fans!! |
By the time Reb made his move, Gazelle Girl seemed completely lost in some other thoughts and Reb pulled out without her! Oh, the humanity!!
As Reb worked his way past the peloton, shouts of "Where is Gazelle Girl!" seemed to awaken the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" who then made her final move to get on her leadout mans wheel and coast to yet another close victory for America!!!
After the GGG Spot Sprint and all the celebration, Sharkman took the lead for a short and then Toestter came forward to take the pace up!
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| Toesetter arrives on the scene! |
Sharkman grabbed on as Toesetter went by and with a cast of thousands on their wheels the mighty Shark Minion Nation moved towards the final sprint.
As the Nation approached the final ascent to the finish, Fixit put in a huge attack with no immediate response from the Shark Minions.
Wait, ....what?!? Game on!!!
Sharkman was happy to sit on Toesetters wheel and see what developed.
As they crested the hill and started the descent to the final Stop Ahead, Toesetter picked up the pace and Sharkman just held on.
However, Gazelle Girl and Reb attacked and went by in pursuit of Fixit who seemed to be holding the gap he had established and the Nation went into panic mode thinking they had waited too long!
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| The "Second" couple of cycling! Happy Wedding Anniversary this week!!! |
It was then that Sharkman started to feel some rear tire movement that indicated a problem and he noticed his tire had gone flat. The diminutive hero mentioned he was just then ready to make his winning move to take the sprint from behind (not bloody likely! 😜 )when he realized his rear tire was going flat. He slowly pulled over less than 100 yards from the finish! Oh, the humanty!!!
Fixit went on to take the final official sprint of the year! Belo News was not sure who took second or third but those spots were given to Toesetter, Reb and Gazelle Girl. Not necessarily in that order......
The Shark Minion Nation came back to check on their intrepid hero as he and Yeti Boy had already started on the rear wheel flat.
Sharkman, worked efficiently on the tire and after a puff of talcum powder, the sound of C02 streaming into a tire, and the snap of the rear wheel into place, they were back on the road to the Champs le Galesburg where throngs of one, may two paparzzi and tofosi were patiently waiting for their hero's.
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| The Shark Minions getting to show off their kit!!! |
Sharkman won the sprint to the Klutch where he threw done his credit card to buy in recongintion of his Birthday and Gazelle Girl and Toesetters wedding anniversary!!!
Is this a great country or what!?!
The Klutch was rocking as autographs were signed, the press was schmoozed, and the locals sat and listened to the Shark Minions regal the crowds with stories of their mornings exploits on that "field of dreams" known as the KK-TdG and the fantastic season!!!
It has been another fantastic season on the road, but it is now time to head to the trails!!!
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| The rest of the partying crew!!! |
There are two start options.
The first is to meet at the Klutch for a kup of bottomless before an 8:30 a.m. launch to the back door of Fort Custer and ride to the Trailhead
The second, for those who do not need koffee or a longer ride, can meet at the Trailhead where the Klutch group will arrive at approximately 9 a.m.
Saturday, October 9, 2022
Fort Custer!
Launch Time from the Klutch - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
Launch Time from the Trailhead - 9:00 a.m. - NOT SO SHARP!!
Be there!!!
BREAD PARTY AT YETI BOY'S AND ALL ARE INVITED!!!
DON'T FORGET TO RSVP NOW!!!
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| Yeti Boy, aka the Breadman!!! |
Belo News
October 10, 2022
Center of Bread World, Mi. - As many of the mighty Shark Minion Nation are aware, our own Yeti Boy is a world renound baker with a special and award winning skill at baking bread.
If you are not one of his "Bread People" you need to be.
Yeti Boy and Yeti Girl will be hosting their annual Bread Party this Sunday afternoon and anyone who is anyone will be in attendance. Additionally, they are inviting the entire Shark Minion Nation to come!!! Is this a great country or what?!? (What were they thinking! 🙄 )
Here is the invitation from the Breadman hizzelf!!!
We are back and feeling energized. The jet lag left yesterday so full speed ahead. Many of you extolled the virtues of Paris but it exceeded my expectations. The visit in Provence was delightful with mountain walks, seafood, kayaking, and even swimming, but Paris...wow. We walked miles and around every corner there was another surprise. We saw great art, we studied history, we ate delicious food, we drank local wines and yes we did bakeries. I arranged a visit to the famous Pouline bakery, guided by the owner Appoloina Pouline. An amazing place and business, guided by a person who is passionate about bread and the culture surrounding it. Our last full day I went to a bread baking class in a French cooking school. It was amazing so now I have undergone training in several bread loving countries including the mother of them all, France.
Now about the party:
BREAD BY HAND PIZZA PARTY
Sunday, October 9, 3 pm til dark. All are welcome to come enjoy some woodfired pizza, assorted charcuterie selections, beer, wine, soda and some fun live music by George Pendill and his crew. Seating will be limited so you may want to bring your own chair. As in the past, we will have a donation basket out for contributions to our charities this year: WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN wck.org and SHARE CENTER of BATTLE CREEK sharecenterbc.org Checks or Cash accepted.
Please let us know if you are planning on attending and the number in your party, Hope to see you on Sunday.
RSVP to Yeti Boy at schweitzerdl@gmail.com
Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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