WHERE ARE ALL THE SHARK MINIONS?!??

WAS IT TOO COLD FOR REB?!?

FOR THE NATION??

NO PHOTOS!!!?

NEW SPORT OF "BUSH SURFING!??"

MAJOR BELO NEWS RETRACTION!!!?

BACK TO FORT CUSTER THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

October 8, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cold and windy over the Shark Cove, our intrpepid hero, the Sharkman, was already having a kup of koffee and reading the paper as he pondered his cycling attire for the day.

The Shark thermometor was blinking at 34 degrees when the old Shark pulled his sorry dorsal out of his Shark bed in the dark and what to wear was his first question on the morning.

Sharkman's main wingman, Yeti Boy, arrived right on time and Sharkman loaded his fat tire bike in the Yeti Mobile for the trip to the Klutch for a pre-ride Bottomless. Sharkman has blown his front shock on his beloved Giant 9er and is debating a new bike or sending the shock in to be rebuilt.

Reb had begged off the Klutch start, complaining it was too cold to ride from the Klutch saying he would met the duo at the trail head. 

Wait.....what??

The temp difference in that half hour, between the Klutch start and the Trail Head start might have been at most, 1 degree. "Puppy".......the Sharkman thought to himself and texted to Dickus Movus Maxximus those feelings.

Yeti Boy and Sharkman were enjoying their Bottomless, signing autographs and talking to some of the "Early Morning Koffee Shark Minion Fan Klub" and wondering why Gazelle Girl and Toesetter, who said they would met them, had not yet arrived. Apparently they had run into some logistical issues and ended up a few minutes late.

At 8:30 a.m. the small but enthusiastic foursome launched from the Klutch to head for the "back door" to that wonderland of mountain biking the mighty Shark Minion Nation knows as, "the Fort!"

Though brisk, it was a beautiful fall morning in Michigan and all agreed that the ride over to the trail head is a great warm up ride.

Arriving at the trail head on time they found Wimpus Maxximus Reb, along with Fixit waiting to rock the course.

With the amount of clothing he had on due to the cold, and a Camelback (which his phone was located in), Sharkman neglected to get any photos, but needless to say the 6 Shark Minions in attendance were ready to rock!

Speaking of attendance.........WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE SHARK MINIONS THIS YEAR?!?

Since Labor Day there have only been 6 or 7 riders each week. Come on Shark Minions, the season is almost over!!! Get your butts out the door and enjoy what is left of this beautiful fall in Michigan!!!

Nuff said......

It was reverse day at the Fort so the decision was made to take on the Green backwards, which all seemed to believe was more "fun" in reverse than in the regular direction.

Sharkman took up his usual spot at the back of the mountain peloton, well because he is slow and also concerned about Shark Minions running over him if he should go down, and additionally because he was on his Fat Tire bike. Sharkman loves that Fat Tire and feels like he can ride over anything with that tank!

As the Nation was in the second section of the Green, after crossing the road and near Dickmann, Sharkman had fallen back a bit and up ahead he heard Reb howling with laughter. As the old Shark approached, he saw Reb standing over Yeti Boys bike, looking down a very steep, deep fall off, as Yeti by was rolling backwards, heels over head, on his way down the hill. Sharkman, seeing Yeti was fine, began to laugh as well.

Apparently, there used to be a tree on the rights side of the path that made you go a bit wider on what is a very narrow path. Cutting close to the tree stump, and trying to maintain balance, Yeti had attempted to put his right foot down to recalibrate the turn, however there was no terra firma to plant his foot on! Reb discribed it as a "slow roll" down the hill into the bushes. 

Yeti Boy mentioned he could feel himself going over and just turned his back into the bushes and rode the bushes down to the bottom of the hill!!! 🥴 Almost like "bush surfing!" Knowing Yeti, he may have invented a new sport!!!

It did of course, take Yeti Boy more time to right himself at the bottom of the decline and climb back up the hill than it did to go down but he was back on his bike, injury free and off to catch up immediately! 

Hard to keep a good man down!!! 

Reb gave him a solid 10 on his form in the roll down the hill!!!

The group did an abbreviated Sharkman Dessert by doing the trenches on the Red in reverse and as they got back to the trail head, Fixit and Reb decided to go out for another trip around the Red in reverse, while the Gazelle Girl, Toesetter, Yeti Boy and Sharkman headed back to the Klutch. 

The foursome ended up with 19 miles on the day and all was well in the Shark Minion world except the fact that so may Shark Minions have been missing in action!

So don't miss this week's edition.

Since the Nation is down in numbers, the start this week will just be from the Trail Head with a 9:00 a.m. Launch. Be there!!!

 

MAJOR BELO NEWS RETRACTION!!!?

Belo News

October 10, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - The Editors at Belo News want to make a correction to the October 1, 2022 Edition.

It has been brought to the Editors attention that the actual winner of the October 1 final  sprint was Toesetter, who was able to overcome the lead that Fixit had built to take the win.

Our apologies to Toesetter and he is to be congratulated on the final win of the year!

The come from behind win was a victory for America!!!

Our reporter was more interested in his flat tire and getting over to the side of the road before he ruined his tire while riding on the rim.

We apoligize, as this is the first time there has ever been any mistake in Belo News....🙄

Ya, right........

Remember, Belo News motto is that any semblance to the truth in Belo News is purely coincidental!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.