ELITE SHARK MINIONS RETURN TO THE NATION!!!
FABIO-X? WHO IS FABIOZ-X??
TREE LIMB? WHAT TREE LIMB? DEATH BY TREE LIMB?
The mighty Shark Minion Mountain
Bike Division!!!
WEATHER LOOKING GOOD FOR THIS SATURDAY!!!
ILOI RIDE/PARTY SATURDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2022!!!
Belo News
October 15, 2022
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cold and crisp over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was pouring over weather charts and checking the radar. The street in front of the Shark Cove was wet and Sharkman wanted to know how much rain had fallen.
The old Shark's weather app reported 0.1 inches and there was no more rain in the forecast, however Gazelle Girl (the west side Weather Watcher) reported in that her rain gauge had reported a half inch of rain had fallen!
Wait, .....what?!?
After the weather expert known as Dickus Movus Maxximus weighed in on text with the fact that it had not been a hard rain and there were a ton of leaves on the trail to protect the single track the threesome felt the riding would be fine without the risk of chewing up the trail.
Game on!!!
It was a beautiful morning!!!
Sharkman loaded his beloved Fattie in the Sharkmobile and headed to the trailhead, stopping a couple of times to take photos of the incredible colors along Watkins Road! What a fantastic morning!
When Sharkman pulled into the trailhead, he saw the Legend known as Easty, unloading what looked like, a brand new ride!!!
Yes, it was Easty who has been gone so much this season he is tettering on Celebrity Rider status!!!
And it was, indeed, a new ride. Well, not exactly new in the sense it was just purchased, but new like he bought it a couple of years ago and had only ridden it a couple of times before.
This ride today was to be its first real test!!!
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| Easty returns!!! With a new ride!!! |
Fabio-X in the flesh!!!
It was Fabio! Long, lost Fabio now known as Fabio-X. It appears that Zychkmann had decided to get a vanity license plate for one of his exotic motorized vehicles. His license Plate now has the name "Fabio-X." But what about that "X?"
Is it for speed, is he X rated, what?
Unfortunatley, someone already had "Fabio" if anyone can actually believe it.
Zychkmann has worked so hard for that name that the Commissioner of Cycling has now decided to designate the name change to Fabio-X!
Congratulations Fabio-X!!!!
Fabio-X!
More of the Elite of the mighty Shark Minion Nation began to arrive when two more legends, Stryker Guy and Bissell Boy, arrived and unloaded their faithful steeds.
 |
| Stryker Guy returns!!! |
But the hits kept coming!
Reb, Fixit, and finally, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter came rolling into the start as Bissell Boy checked his watch wondering where they were!
Though Fabio-X was the reason for their delay, there was no comment on his part as to where they were.
However, the final count for the start was taken and 9 Shark Minions were on hand, breaking the October 2022 record for attendance. It had been learned that Brewman has a bad knee and no on knows were Wildman had disappeared to!
We could go on.......
But we digress.....
After the obligatory "selfie" shot with Sharkman actually in the photo, the group was ready to rock the Red in reverse. Toesetter was chosen to lead the pack and the peloton, if it can be called that on the trail (maybe herd? School of Shark? Whatever?) began its assault on the trails of Fort Custer.
It was a beautiful freak'in morning!
Fix was ready to rock in
his Eddy Merckx kit!
And Sharkman would not shut up about it!!!
He kept thinking he should be out there with his camera, not on a mountain bike, but he did have to admit he loves the Fattie.
Since the fork on his faithful Giant 29er has busted, and he can't get a replacement, he has been riding the Framed Fattie and says he feels invincible on the rock solid ride. Sharkman does have to work harder to stay close to the pack but loves the feel of the bike making him think any new bike needs wider wheels.
If any Shark Minions are aware of any used 29er, hardtails with at least a 2.6 tire, let the old Shark know about it!!!
The ride moved out on the Red in reverse and pretty much stayed together and waited, at some of the trail opening, for the Sharkman, who appeared to be sight seeing at the back of the peloton. When the fast moving train got to "Granny's Garden" the lead group did the entire section, the second group took the easier section and Sharkman, missing what had happened, stayed on the hard to the second, easy section, where he exited and found the second group awaiting where the trail came back together.
Toesetter huslting to make up
time after the Fabio_X
delay!
As the riders discussed the beauty of the day, they got to watch a dad coming out of Granny's in a T shirt, claiming it was a nice day, followed much later by a young man who appeared to be his son, huffing and puffing his way up the trail with Dad not waiting for him. They were shortly followed by the Shark Minion lead pack, headed up by Toesetter, fighting his way to the top where the group all came back together.
The group finished up the Red in reverse and decided to do the "Sharkman Apertif" (combination of the Red, to Green, finishing on the Red) before finishing on the day.
As the Nation was traversing the Green in reverse, and after a blind curve, the Shark Minions came upon a tree limb leaning over the trail and had to duck/swerve to keep from hitting it. Sharkman was a bit behind them and they seemed to have forgotten their intrepid hero. After stopping, it dawned on them that he might be barreling up soon and they looked in panic to see if he was coming. But alas, it was too late to warn him as he approached the group!
Oh, the humanity!!!
Did he bang his head on the limb? Did he swerve and crash into the brush? Was he able to apply the brakes to avoid obvious disaster you ask????
Well, what the hell happened!!!???
The diminituve Shark rode right under the tree limb easily. Not a duck, not a flinch, not even a blink of that deadly shark's eye........
The Nation feeling inpending doom for their leader, sighed in relief before then asking if he had seen the tree limb? He quickly responded, "........What tree limb?"
Bissel Boy dismounted and with his bare hands broke off the limb that almost took out the Sharkman!!! Was it an act of good will? Was it his rage, or relief that the Sharkman had avoided "death by tree branch?"
Well, actually, at Sharkmans height and on a 26 inch frame, it was never in doubt he'd hit is shark head.....maybe his dorsal.....but not a danger to his noggin......
The Shark Minion Nation may never know.....
as Bissell Boy made quick work of the brush and with the smell of freshly broken bark in the air, a slap of the hands to clear the bark from his gloves, and a smile on his face, Bissell Boy remounted and rode off like the Lone Ranger after saving the day!!!
Is this a great country or what?!?
The Shark Minions were off to the finish!!
At the end of the ride a motion was made by Reb to head to the Klutch for a kup of bottomless and after a second from Sharkman and the vote, the group loaded up and headed out to the Koffee Klutch.
Sharkman bought on the day (wait?.....what?) as the press conference ensued and autographs were signed.
 |
| The "Sweetheart of the Peloton!" |
But the Shark Minions are not done yet!!!
This week, the mighty Shark Minion Nation will be back to the Fort for more fun on the trails!!!
It has been a wet week, but the forecast for the weekend looks outstanding and the colors look to be at their peak!
You won't want to miss this ride, as time is running out on the 34th Shark Minion Nation Season!!!
Saturday, October 22, 2022!
Launch Time from the Trailhead - 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!!!
Be there!!!
Fabio-X trying to get
Toesetter moving!!🥴
Actually, it is us or is Sharkman getting
better at this???
Wait, Sharkman bought?!?
Is this a great country or what?!?
MARK YOU CALENDARS!!!
SATURDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2022!
BELO NEWS
Augusta, Mi. - It is that time of year when the mighty Shark Minion Nation has the last "Official" ride of the season. 😒
But don't feel sad, Bunkie!!!
That means it is also time for the "In Leiu of Iceman Ride/Party!!!"
A few years back, when a number of the Shark Minions grew tired of the corporate change to Iceman, as well as a bad run at the infamous "Mudman," in 2015, the Nation decided to party instead of spending a ton of money to stand in line for tickets to stand in line again to buy beer.
So the ILOI Ride/Party began in 2016! Is this a great party or what!!!
So if you are not riding the Iceman on November 5, this event is for YOU!!!
Even if you don't mountain bike ride you can come to the party part of the ride!!!
Those Shark Minions who do ride mountain bikes will meet at the trailhead at 2 p.m. to ride the trails of Fort Custer.
Those Shark Minions who do not ride mountain bike are invited to join the riders, along with their "signifant others," after the mountain bike ride at Players in Augusta at 4 p.m. for dinner and adult beverages.
That's right, Bunkie! Bring your spouse, friend, whatever or come alone and celebrate another fantastic season of riding!!!
If the weather is not conducive for riding, each rider is on their own to determine if they want to ride. If the weather is "iffy" the decision may be made at the trailhead.
Either way, the meet up at Players at 4 p.m. will still take place!!!
Unfortunately, Sharkman and Lava Girl will be out of town but the party goes on under the direction of that "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl!!!
If there are questions on the weather, you can contact Gazelle Girl.
But the party happens regardless of the weather!!!
Be there!!!
Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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