TOP GUN FINISH IN THE NATION!!!

GREYHOUND TAKES IT ALL!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation!
Though small in number, big in heart!!!

RAIN? WHAT RAIN?!?

WHERE WAS FIRE?!?

FABIO CONTRIBUTES TO NEW MARATHON WORLD RECORD!

WAIT......WHAT?!?

SHARK MINION ANNIVERSARY KIT DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

September 24, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke dark, cold and wet over the Shark Cove our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was already out of bed. Hey, dawn is breaking late this time of year!!! He had actually slept in an extra half hour because after battling Covid and not training, the old Shark wasn't sure he could drag his dorsal the entire 53 miles he normally rides on a Saturday morning. So he had decided to drive to the start. 🚙

Sharkman cuts off Fixit.....

As he loaded up the Shark Mobile for the drive over, he had a nagging sense he was forgetting something. When you ride over, that is never a problem as you have everything you need when you start the ride!

It was also hard to determine what to wear. The rain seemed to have passed through and though there were threats of additional moisture, it looked clear over that field of dreams all Shark Minions know as the KK-TdG! Taking the car meant he could load an few extra clothing options!

Deciding on a long sleeve under base, along with a his Team Bisssell windbreaker, the Sharkman was ready to drive over to the start and to greet his throngs of Shark Minions who would be ready to rock aftre not having their hero in the peloton last week!

Alas, as he drove into the parking lot, it was only the Sharkman. Our hero has often wondered about what would happen if he got to the start and nary a Shark Minion showed up? He began thinking, this might be the day but still began to unload his bike and gear know at least one Shark Minino, namely Reb, would be on his way.

Reb in a real cycling jersey!
Oh, the humanity

Within a minute or two, in rode Reb, sans Fire who had commited to riding on the email stream that Reb had started the previous evening. So they began to wonder......flat tire, perhaps? She has had so many flats of late consideration is being given to changing her name from Fire to Flat!

Shark Minions continued to pour in. All 4 of them! Yep, you heard that right. It may have been the iffy weather, end of season burn out, or a flat, but there were only 5 Shark Minions at the start and all wondering, "where has everyone gone??? It's not that cold yet?!?

The Senator, Fixit and then the legend himself, Bissell Boy all arrived. All in a hurry to get the party started, Sharkman took the Start Photo and the obligatory "Selfie" shot, then saddled up to get the locomotive started and out of the depot!

As the Nation headed to downtown Galesburg, Greyhound rode up, it six riders on the day.

A fine looking peloton as they motored past the Klutch and after a wave to the fans, on to the first sprint.

The Senator came forward, along with Greyhond, then Reb to pull the old Shark to his honoary sprint, which he took at 23mph+. As the old Shark says, "You can't dishonor an honory sprint with a low speed!!!"

The legend, Bissell Boy was
back and riding strong!!
Thanks for the koffee!

It was a jovial group of riders that could be heard talking in the very still morning air as they rode on to the second sprint. It was hard to tell if there was a light rain or if the earlier rain was falling from the trees. But there was a bit of moisture on and off during the ride but never enough to be an issue.

On the col de Twin Lakes, Reb stayed back to make sure the old Shark made it up the hill and both latched on to the group after summiting the climb. It was at this point Reb had to take off and head back for Dad Duties and high school soccer.

And so there were 5 Shark Minions left.

As they headed past the Yorkville Church, past Kellogg Korner and the yet "unrepaved" road, complete with gravel, past the Kountry Klub and on to Rt. 43 the pace picked up considerably with Greyhound and Bissell Boy doing much of the pulling.

The riders stayed together up the col de Norte and on through the Holy Rollers, where the Senator grabbed the sprint and  then on to the Inlet.

After a long wait to cross the Digital Divide, a very nice pace line got started with several of the Shark Minions, including Bissell Boy, Greyhoun and the Senator sharing the lead duties. 

Fixit it was ready to rock!!!

After the GGG Spot Sprint was awarded to Gazelle Girl in abstentia, and a victory for America was declared, the riders crossed G to make their way to the final sprint!

Bissell Boy and Greyhound went to the front and picked up the pace with Sharkmana, Fixit and the Senator taking advantage of their wake.

As the fast moving Shark Minion Train approached the base of the sumit to the final hill to finish, Bissell Boy took over and Greyhound fell off the pace.

As the riders began the final descent to the finish, Sharkman was holding on to Bissell Boys wheel as Greyhound came forward with a second incredible effort to take the pace up a notch.

Feeling he owed Bissell Boy for an inredible pull, Sharkman went around Bissell Boy shouting out for him to grab his wheel!

Game on!!!

The two riders fought to close the gap up to Greyhound and appeared very close to doing it when Greyhound seemed to find another gear, turning on the afterburns in his Boeing F/A 18F!

At the same time, Fixit was coming from out of nowhere on the outside left while Bissell Boy also found another  power level and came up on Sharkmans right side and in the middle of the pack, gaining on Greyhound!!!

Sharkman felt like he was in the movie Top Gun as both Maverick and Hangman turned on the after burners in their Boeing F/A 18F's! 

Oh, the humanity!! This IS a great country!!!

Sharkman was gassed and looking for an aircraft carrier to land on as Greyhound grabbed the finish line and the second spot between Fixit and Bissell Boy was just too close to call, so they both finished second and taxied to the stop ahead sign!

The Senator was looking fast
in his rain jacket!!

It was one of most fun and closest finishes of the season as Bob the Builder latched on to ride as the Shark Minions passed the throngs of one, maybe two paparazzi and tofosi along the Champs le Galesburg! Must be the weather......🥴

When the riders arrived at the Klutch, they found Hoosier Boy already enjoying a kup of bottomless as Bissell Boy threw down his card to buy yet, another round for the Mighty Shark Minion Nation!!! Hasn't he bought like 10 times this summer??

The place was rocking and Sharkman was signing autographs for the early morning group as the koffee and discussion flowed.

You won't want to miss this weeks edition as it may be the last of the season.

 

Hoosier Boy and Bob the Builder joined
the fun at the Klutch!!

As long time Shark Minions are aware, the Shark Minion Nation usually moves to the mountain bike after the first week in October. However, if the forecast is for good weather, the Shark Minion Nation might stay on the road for another week, maybe two, so watch Belo News for more information as the weeks go on in October.

But you won't want to miss this first Saturday of October and in recogntion of the ending of the 35th Shark Minion Season it will be Shark Minion Anniversary Kit Day!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Saturday, October 1, 2022

Launch time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

FABIO CONTRIBUTES TO NEW MARATHON WORLD RECORD!

Zychkmann storms the 
Brandenburg Gates!!!

WAIT......WHAT?!?

Belo News

Berlin, Germany - In an amazing twist of fate, our own Shark Minion Legend , Zychkmanne ( aka Fabio, Zykman, Zychzhmann, Zick Meister, Zickster, whatever...) has gone down in marathoning history as having been a part of the new Marathon World Record!!!

Reporting in from the Berlin Marathon and photographed near the famous Brandenburg Gate, it was learned that not only did our Fabio survive this test of strength, stamina and courage and in his words, "Drama/trauma" it was also reported that he pushed the world famous Kenyan marathaon runner, Elud Kipchoge to his new world record of 2:01:09. 

Is that time even humanly possible??!

After breaking the world record, the Kenyan was quoted as saying "I could not have done it without knowing and fearing the legendary Fabio was right on my ass!" 

Well, not actually on his ass......well, actually, not anywhere near his ass, but our hero Fabio had Kipchoge worried, so worried he had to pick up the pace causing him to break his own world record!!! Oh, the humanity!!!

Is this a great country or what!

Congratulations Zyckmann on a great marathon! You did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!!

Now, get your ass back in the Nation!!! We've missed you all season!!!

Hope to hear more about the "drama/trauma" of your trip to Berlin and pusing Kipchoge to the new world record!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.