SHARK MINIONS ROCK BEER JERSEY SATURDAY!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation all set in their beer kit!!!

SHARK MINIONS ROCK DIRTY DONUT GRAVEL RACE!!

Yeti Boy captures the top
of the podium!!!

Zyckmann does the same in the 
Dirty Donut Division!

SHARK MINIONS JUST PLAIN ROCK!

NEW SHARKLET IN THE MIGHTY SHARK MINION NATION!!

FIRE CONQUERS MT. PISGAH (AND NO, THAT'S NOT A DIRTY WORD!!) (AT LEAST WE DON'T THINK IT IS...)

She came, she saw,
she conquered!
Fire at the summit!

"STUD" MAD DOG FILES GRIEVANCE WITH SHARK MINION NATION!!! 

WAIT, .....WHAT?

THIS SATURDAY, TONY  THE TIGER JERSEY DAY!!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT!?!?

Belo News

June 4, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - It was a huge weekend for the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!!

However, it did not start so well for our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, as he had no entourage to ride over, he had a wardrobe malfunction that caused him to launch a bit late, then was not allowed to ride through the construction at Renton Road and Skyline by an overly zealous flag man who made him ride an extra 2-3 miles to get to Michigan Ave! Wildman had ridden over to meet Sharkman but thought he'd gone back home to drive his Sharkmobile over to the start.

So they missed each other! Oh, the humanity!

All Sharkman could think of was being late and not being at the start at 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

"He would never hear rhe end of it from Snow White" he thought as he rode ever quicker!

Our hero just put his head down and pedaled his little dorsal off, averaging 18.2 mph for the ride over and thinking it was a new record for the trip to the start, entourage or not!?!

With Shark Minions doing the Dirty Donut Race, Sharkman thought the numbers might be down, but there were still 14 Shark Minions in the mix. Making their season debut were Cricket and Maid Marian! Stryker Girl and Drug Czar were also back, sans Kia Pet who was doing the Dirty Donut, and just before the start, the Swede pulled in to make his season debut!!!

Yes, Sharkman was there.
Someone stop this guy!!

Brewman was back in his
St. Arnold Beer kit!

Stryker Girl in a Pedal Jerey!
Does Pedal sell beer?

Gazelle Girl in her BEU
Party Jersey!

The Swede was back!

Sasquatsh looking fit in his
beer kit!!

Hermster in his Dad's Root
Beer Jersey!

Wildman ready to rock Schlafly
Beer!

Toesetter in his classic Oberon
Kit!

KimPossible ready to go!!!

Sharkman, out of breath from his epic ride to the start, whispered at the top of his little shark lungs....

"Let's head out, Shark Minions!"

The Shark Minion Train snaked its way past the Koffee Kluth and on to the course as Cricket, Toesetter, Maid Marian and Gazelle Girl led the crew while Sharkman "pressed the flesh" in the peloton behind.

Sharkman worked his way forward as the crew got closer to his Honorary Sprint and he latched on to Toesetters wheel first, then moved to Crickets wheel as he moved forward. Sharkman cautioned the big sprinter to "go easy on the old Shark and don't go to soon...."

Cricket made his move and as they had not quite finished the last hill to the sprint, Sharkman had to fight to get back on his wheel, but Cricket got him to his sprint in fine fashion as he crossed the line at about 23 mph!

After the count of 14, the Nation made their first crossing of G Ave. and headed on to the col de Twin Lakes, past the col de No Name and Yorkville Church, flew by Kellogg Korner, which was remarkabley clear of gravel (Thanks Skipper) and on to the Kountry Klub. Toesetter and Cricket led through most of these sections, but did sit up at the turn as all latched back on before the Rt. 43 sprint.

As they approached the Rt. 43 sprint Hermster made his usual move, heading outside wide to go to the front. Cricket responded and the two had a very "spirited" sprint, which Cricket took.

At the top of the col de Norte, Hermster came up the hill last, feeling the effects of his sprint with Cricket. Oh, the humanity!!

The Nation moved on to the Holy Rollers and into the feed stop.

After a full stop after the Inlet Sprint, the Nation moved on to the Digital Divde and Toesetter and Cricket started a very strong pace line under the beautiful tunnel of trees and on to the coveted GGG Spot Sprint.

Notching speeds up to 24 mph, the pace line was a thing of beauty, well.....relatively speaking, as Sasquatch brought the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" up to the front as the Nation watched in awe as she quickly moved to pass the lead riders and easily took the tape!

It was a victory for America once again!!!

As the Nation headed south, Gazelle Girl and Sharkman started the pace line out, but were quickly caught at the top of the first, short hill as Toesetter, Cricket, Wildman and a cast of thousands came forward.

Hermster, seeming to have a second wind, moved out to the front with Cricket, Toesetter and Wildman responding.

The peloton seemed to all come together at the top of the hill to the finish, with all riders starting to jockey for position for the final ascent on victory.

Cricket and Wildman moved out quickly with everyone fighting for that last spot on the podium. Wildman seemed to make a move a bit too early and Cricket was able to fight him off and take the tape.

Meanwhile, Brewman went past Sharkman as they bore down on the finish but Sharkman noticed Maid Marian moving up on the outside and grabbed her wheel like reaching for the last kup of koffee at the Klutch on a Saturday morning! It proved to be a good move for the diminutive hero as he rode for free thinking he might still have a chance at the podium as they rifled by Brewman.

However, as he came out of Made Marians slip stream, she notched Sharkmans move and too it up another click and captured the third spot on the podium!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the heros zipped up their beer jersey's for the sponsors and they pulled up to the Klutch for the Press Conference. 

Sharkman did win the sprint to the Klutch, throwing down his credit card to buy!!!

Wait, Sharkman bought!!! 

Is this a great country or what?!?

Maid Marian at the Press Conference
and making her debut on the season
with a podium finish!

Cricket taking the tape, the koffee
and his season debut!

Yep, another Sharkman selfie!
Where is Sharkman?
Take that phone away from him, for
God's sake.......

"Stud" Mad Dog?
Oh, the humanity!!

The Klutch was rocking and everyone wondered who was at the Dirty Donut Race (see below) as Sharkman reported that Stud Mad Dog had filed a formal complaint against the mighty Minion Nation in protest over giving his name to another, female rider. In an effort to show his disapointment with this sad state of affairs, he entered evidence of his new name, "Stud Mad Dog" in the form of a photo of his new jersey.......

Stud Mad Dog's case was thrown out for "lack of evidence."

🙄

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

This Saturday will be Tony the Tiger (or any Kellogg Jersey) Jersey Day!

Saturday, June 11, 2022 - TONY THE TIGER (or any Kellogg Jersey) JERSEY Day!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Stryker Guy, Tom Garret and SG'S brother at
the start of the Dirt Donut! 

SHARK MINIONS ROCK DIRTY DONUT GRAVEL RACE!!

Belo News

Martin, Mi. - This was the week for the Dirty Donut Gravel Race and the mighty Shark Minion Nation showed up in force!!! The texts started coming into the News Room early as the Nation was ripping the competition to shreds, as well as a few donuts! It was learned during the race that our own Fabio is quite an animal when it comes to devouring donuts!!! 🍩🍩🍩

Yeti Boy checked in having won the 70 and over age group!!! Congratulations to Sharkman's Wingman who conquered the competition in the regular 22 mile gravel race and took the top of the podium, only disappointed there were no "Podium Girls" to crown him.....

Yeti giving a hand pump to the ones 
of fans in the audience. Note the
legend is wearing his Shark Minion
Jersey! You go Yeti!!!

Meanwhile, that legend known as Fabio, famous for riding with no seat on his mountain bike at the Iceman and riding the Iceman with beer in his Camel Back, was creating even more legends as he took the "Dirty Donut Gravel" 70 and over division by eating three donuts and picking up 5 minutes in time with each one!!!

THIS IS A GREAT COUNTRY!!!

There was no catching the phenom called Zyckmann!!!

Or Yeti Boy!!!

Meanwhile, Stryker Guy and his entourage put in an outstanding performance, however it could not be determined how many donuts they consumed as a team.......however, they are Shark Minions, so donuts were probably consumed...right?

Congratulations to all the Shark Minions who competed in the Dirty Donut! You did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!

Skylar Lee Klain!
Welcome to the mighty
Shark Minion Nation!

NEW SHARKLET IN THE MIGHTY SHARK MINION NATION!!

Belo News

June 4, 2022

Kalamazoo, Mi. - Big news in the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!!

We are very pleased to announce Sharklet number 2 in the Stryker Guy family! Skylar Lee Klain was born this past Saturday in Kalamazoo and the mighty Shark Minion Nation welcomes Sharklet number 2 to the peleton.

Congratulations to Styker Guy and Marsha and best wishes to the Klain family!!! We'll be holding a spot in the peloton for Skylar as soon as the training wheels come off!!!

FIRE CONQUERS MT. PISGAH (AND NO, THAT'S NOT A DIRTY WORD!!)

Belo Ne

Fantastic mountain range!June 5, 2022

Pt. Cherokee, NC. - While the mighty Shark Minion Nation was riding the KK-TdG and some of the Shark Minions were turning in stellar performances a the Dirty Donut Race, and while Reb was sitting in the bleachers watching his son play baseball and hoping it wouldn't rain, our own Fire was down in North Carolina with her brother to ride the the Cherokee, NC to Mt. Pisgah Ride. An 80 mile climb up a mountain with no donuts involved!!! Oh, the humanity!

Belo News tried to get a report from the speedy rider, but only got photos, but what great photos!! Looks like a fantastic trip, complete with camping in tents (Sharkman is out! 😝)!

And water falls!

Congratulations Fire, it looks like a fanatastic ride!!!

They seem to be a Bianchi
family!!!

Looks like a fantastic ride!!!

Tents?

Yes, tents.....

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.