WELCOME HOME ANDREW!!!
CELEBRITY RIDER, PIRATE TAKES THE TAPE*!!!!
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| Mighty Shark Minion Kit everywhere!!! Is this a great country or what!?? Pirate is standing like he knew he would win that day! |
GAZZELLE GIRL GETS THE ASSIST*?!?!
TEACHING MOMENT AFTER NEAR MISS!!!
BIKERS ACTUALLY READING BELO NEWS!?!
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?
BISSEL KIT DAY THIS SATURDAY!!!
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED ON TAP!!!
Belo News
July 24, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was readying his 30th Anniversary Kit when it dawned on him that he had not recharged the batteries in his computer and lights! Oh, the humanity!
He quickly put the computer on the charger, with 10 minutes to lauch time, hoping it would have enough charge for the entire ride. As he waited for Yeti Boy, hoping he might be a bit late to allow for more charging time, he noticed a rider in the drive, just a bit "larger" than the diminutive mountain climber, Yeti Boy.
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| New Shark Minion Joe, aka, ScanMan! Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation! |
It was none other than Nikeboy hizzelf! Decked out in his 30th Anniversary Kit, with the sun at his back, cutting quite a figure on his Specialized steed! He is, after all, "The Style Guy!"
Sharkman hurriedly got his computer and as Yeti Boy rode up to greet Nikeboy, the three took off for the start, sans Reb and Fire.
On the ride over, the three, all decked out in their 30th Anniversary Kit, almost looking like a real team, chatted up with Nikeboy and what he had been up to all summer.
When they arrived at the start, Minions began pouring in and both Raptor and Snow White were spending a lot of time getting ready near their respective vehicles. It was later learned that Snow White had left her cycling shoes elsewhere and after a search of both her and Raptors car, realized she had to go home to get her shoes!
Much to everyone's surprise, Pirate rode in for another Celebrity Appearance! Since that is twice this year, and he is now living in Ann Arbor, we may have to return him to regular Shark Minion Status!!!
As riders rode in they all greeted the returning legend of the peloton!
Gazelle Girl rode in to shouts from her adoring fans and also decked out in her 30th Anniversary kit!!!
Shark Minions continued to pour in, including Bissell Boy and his son in law Joe, now named "ScanMan" until an offical Shark Minion is determined. Though ScanMan might stick!
Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, ScanMan!!!
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| Nikeboy making his season debut! |
Dr. Dave and Sasquatch were there in their 30th Anniversary Kit and even celebrity rider Pirate had his original Minion jersey on (he was out of the country when the Anniversary Kit was ordered!).
All Sharkman could think of was that some Shark Minions had actually read Belo News!!!
Oh, the humanity!
This is a great country!
With Luke Sky Walker and Raptor (who was again taking a comfort break and missed the start photo) the total riders at the start was 11.
After the start photo, the Nation pulled out of the station and headed through Galesburg, past the Klutch where they picked up Hutch, making his season debut and riding a new, very colorful steed, and crossed the railroad track.
That is where it happened! Time for a teaching moment!
As the riders turned left after the railroad crossing, and as they approached the next, right hand turn, a car was moving towards the intersection and riders had gone too wide, over the center line (though as a side street there is no actual line) and had to swerve to the right quickly to keep from hitting the car. This caused the entire peloton to have to react quickly and move to the right, which indicates the entire peloton was taking too wide a turn, crossing the center of the road.
Sharkman felt a wheel touch his back wheel, and a shout out. Pirate had been looking left and could not respond quick enough, but fortunately was able to "right his bike" and get his shoes out of his clips without going down. Had he gone down, it would have most likely been right in front of the car.......
A very close call and an opportunity to review that all of us riders need to be extremely cautious in group riding that we should never cross the center line. There have been far too many times when riders cross the center line and there is simply no excuse or valid reason to do so. If you are boxed in, you should not try to pass by crossing the center line, particularly double yellow lines, to get around. This often happens in the Holy Rollers when the Nation is slowing going up the hill and a rider gets boxed in. Riders have crossed the double yellow on hills when cars are coming and we've had some close calls. Extreme dangerous and pisses drivers off!
Shark Minions should never cross the yellow/center line to pass.
If you are boxed in, it is a part of cycling. No sprint is worth causeing an accident.....
While we are at it, if you hear someone shout out, "car back" please move to the right as quickly as possible and try to get to two a breast or single file. Also, when the Nation comes to a stop, please do not circle in the intersection (particularly at the top of the col de Norte) and also please stay to right on stops unless the Nation is going ahead or going left.
Nuff said!
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| Celebrit rider Pirate, in his Classic Shark Minion jersey! |
As the Nation headed north, Sharkman engaged his lap timer on his computer, just hoping the battery had enough charge. However, it wasn't long before the notice of "low battery" popped across the screen. Actually it did last all the way to the GGG Spot Sprint before dying.......it was at 18.79 mph average and we still had two sprints left! Oh, the humanity!
Sasquatsh came up to lead the Sharkman to his Honorary Sprint at a speed of 23.9 mph!!!
Sharkman took a count of 12 at the first G crossing, which Nikeboy confirmed before dropping off at the Yorkville Church.
The fast moving Minion Train motored through the Col de Twin Lakes, and on through the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the Rt. 43 sprint, where the speed really picked up to the "smoke'em if you got'em" stop.
The Nation headed up the Col de Norte, where Pirate commented that as he caught on at the top, Sharkman was yelling "all on" and it was off to the races again and he had a problem catching a wheel!!!
Luke Sky Walker put on a humongus pull with Sharkman on his wheel for as long as he was able, but backed off before the turn into the Holy Rollers.The "kid" was just too fast for the old Shark!
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| The Nation taking a breath at the Feed Stop! courtesy of Raptor! |
It was at this point that Snow White jumped back on after going all the way home to retrieve her shoes. Also, Rocketman, making his season premier, jumped into the mix! Welcome back, Rocketman!!!
After traffic cleared, the Nation headed down to the Inlet Sprint, making a FULL stop at the Inlet intersection and on to the Digital Divide crossing.
Yeti, Raptor and Hutch started up the paceline and for a few weeks in a row, the paceline has actually been pretty impressive. As riders peeled off the front, the second rider took over without accelerating, keeping a consistent speed and not blowing up the paceline. Acceleration came slowly and measured. Hutch really took the speed up as the runaway train bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint!
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| Gazelle Girl arrives to shouts of welcome from the Nation! |
Sasquatch again, led out the Sweetheart of the Peloton to take her beloved GGG Spot Sprint, locking the victory for America in grand style!
There were some stragglers on the GGG crossing, but the Nation behaved and grouped back together so that all could make the last assault on the final sprint of the day.
Pirate came up and took the lead, opening a gap. Yeti Boy and Sharkman were at the head of the trailing group when Sharkman commented to Yeti Boy that Pirate was pretty fast and that they better try to reel him in before he could steel a win, like any good Pirate.
That is when the shout of "mechanical" was heard from Gazelle Girl, who had thrown her chain off of her front deurallier! Oh, the humanity! Everyone stopped with the exception of the Pirate, who went on to "Pirate" the final sprint, uncontested.* This, of course, gave Gazelle Girl an "assist*" in the win. A subsequent investigative effort has been launched to determine if any collusion took place in the finish!
Meanwhile, back at the scene of the mechanical, several of the Shark Minions were gathered around the Sweetheart of the Peloton, attempting to get her chain dislodged from the pedal crank while mosquitos made a terrorist attack against some of the Minions who were waiting, causing them to make a dash, out from under the trees and brush where the mosquitos were gathering, beating drums and chanting, "Let's eat!"
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| Young Luke Skywalker was back! |
There was blood in water and those mosquitos were traveling in packs! Like vultures on looking at Shark Minion Meat all over the road......
Several Minions went on ahead and actually had a faux finishing sprint for fun, which Luke Sky Walker took easily, then waited at the finish, away from the mosquito onslaught in the tree section of road where repair on Gazelle Girls bike was taking place.
The entire peloton, sans the Pirate, rode to the Klutch along the Champs le Galesburg to the cheers of the paparazzi and tofosi, while the Pirate was already at the Klutch buying the koffee!
This IS a great country!!! Thanks Pirate! The Nation would have given you the win anyway (with the *), but thanks for the koffee!
Also waiting at the Klutch was our Super Barista, Andrew, who has just returned home from Basic Traning in the National Guard!
So good to have you back, Andrew and thanks for your service!!!
You were greatly missed and the mighty Shark Minion Nation is happy to have you back in the peloton. Please know that Leslie and Ron took very good care of the Nation in your absence!
The Klutch was rocking with all the celebration!
Sharkman and Yeti Boy even had Fire show up on the ride home to pull them back! They even had a slight tailwind on the return!
You won't want to miss next weeks edition of the KK-TdG!
Saturday, July 31 (how can it be July 31 already!?), 2021
Bissell Kit Day!!!
You read that right, Bunkie! Bissell Kit Day even though not many still have the classic kit anymore!!
Launch Time 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
BE THERE
THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!
Belo News
July 27, 2021
Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - It's baaaack!
The Bloody 'Ell "Undred is back after a year off for Covid!!!
Actually, this will be the 8th Annual Bloody 'Ell 'Undred! Is this a great country or what!?!
100K of fun, pizza and beer, followed by a dip in Gull Lake and a chance to see Fabio's Muy bueno Estate!
All the information is in this very strange Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Poster, suitable for printing and posting on your living room wall! And yes, that is our own Toesetter, rocking it with whoever that sculputer guy is supposed to be!!! A story on the making of this poster may appear in a future issue of Belo News, but we digress......
Oh, the humanity!
This ride is 40K up to the Waldorf, followed by a 20K return after some beer and pizza!
Don't miss THE social event of the season and anyone who is anyone in cycling will want to be a part of this annual fun fest!
You must RSVP Gazelle Girl by email before August 18!
It is all on the poster, so just look at where ever you hung it on your living room wall and then, RSVP NOW!
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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