SKITTLES RETURNS FOR WIN!
CELEBRITY RIDER! PIRATE RETURNS!
VIRGIN MINION IN THE MIX?
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| Celebrity Rider, the Pirate returns to the Nation!!! |
BEER JERSEY'S RULE BUT OBERON TAKES IT!
SHARKMAN MISSING THIS WEEKEND??? SAY WHAT?
RETIREE RIDE MOVED BACK ONE WEEK!!!
Belo News
July 9, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn breaks bright and cool over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, looking for one of his beer jersey's. Yes, he does own more than one beer jersey. After selecting the Oberon Jersey, one of his favorites and one he had worn in some time, a smile came across his shark jaws as he thought of the ride ahead of him.
Sharkman had received a text earlier in the week from that legendary Shark Minion, the Pirate! Pirate was going to take part in the ride and Sharkman was feeling good about all the Celebrity Riders who have returned to ride with the mighty Shark Minion Nation after the long dark night of the pandemic.
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| Virgin Minion, Geoff! (MNTBD) |
Yeti Boy pulled up on time, in his very dapper Guiness Jersey as they both launched to the start, sans Reb and Fire. The two riders both commented on the lack of whining about the pace, since Reb wasn't present and Fire wasn't there pushing the pace.
It was a beautiful morning for a ride and as the two approached the Klutch, they saw Wishbone coming out afer a kup of bottomless, and then following them on to the start.
Shark Minions began to pile in almost immediately!!! Including Wildman, who wasn't going to be able to ride, as he had a graduation party for his daughter, but since he had to go get ice, wanted to stop by to say hello! You even get your photo in Belo News without riding! What a stud!!!
Hello Wildman and thanks for stopping!
And congratulations to Annalise on her graduation!!!
Even Annalise gets a mention in Belo News! Is this a great country or what?!??
It was like old home week as riders tooled in to greet Pirate, decked out in his Chouffe Belgium Beer Jersey.
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| The man of the hour! Bissell Boy in his Bell's kit bought the koffee on the day! |
Gazelle Girl rode in to shout's of "Gazelle Girl" sporting hair ribbons and black socks about being a Bitch and something about virginity.......go figure, while Toesetter was AWOL with a sore knee.
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| The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock it!!! |
Bissell Boy blew in fast and immediately saw the Pirate waiting! A great morning!!!
A Virgin Minion named Geoff was also in attendance, sans a Minion Name! Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Geoff MNTBD (Minion Name to be Determined).
Long lost Skittles also came buzzing in, ready to ride and making his season debut!
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| Wildman forgot his beer jersey, while making his ice run!!! |
Welcome back, Skittles! You've been missed!
After the official start photo was taken, Rapture popped back from the restroom, so he got a solo shot! Sharkman doesn't waste film on a second shot.....wait, film?
Sharkman announced the start and the mghty Shark Minion Train pulled out of the station and on to the new path to town, past the Klutch and on to the course the Nation knows as their Field of Dreams, the KK-TdG!
Sharkman jabbered wtih Gazelle Girl for a while at the front and tried to drop back to press the flesh. However, Skittles came forward and they talked for a while, catching up, before the young sprinter picked up the pace and led our hero out to his first, honorary sprint, which he took at just about 25 mph!
The ride then began in earnest as the Nation moved on to the col de Twin lakes, where Yeti Boy and Skittles battled out the climb and the Virgin Minion pulled some sort of zig zag move on Gazelle Girl on the climb up.
Perhaps, "ZigZag?"
As seems to be the rule, the pace picked up hot and heavy through the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the Rt. 43 sprint and the "smoke'em if you gott'em" stop, where a couple of Shark Minions took a comfort break while the Nation waited......
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| Skittles returns to the Nation and takes the win!!! |
At the top of the col de Norte a couple of Shark Minions started to circle in the road/intersection and sooooo just a reminder.....do not circle in the road at stops! It is not only dangerous, but the drivers hate when cyclist do that.....nuff said!
The peloton split into smaller groups as it approached the Holy Rollers, where Yeti Boy took a jump out front to contest the sprint with Skittles.
At the Food Stop, Sharkman took off and opened up a bit of a lead in the run up to the Inlet, but no one seemed to care as he moved ahead and took the Inlet sprint, where everyone made a complete stop at the Inlet 4 way.
Nice job, Nation!!!
After crossing the Digital Divide, a pace line led by Skittles picked up pretty quickly and started to get north of 22-23 mph.
Sasquatsh then dug deep and brought the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" forward to take her coveted crown at the GGG Spot Sprint. It was a Victory for America! It was a win for the Nation! It was a win win!!!
As the Nation crossed G Ave. one Shark Minion got delayed int he crossing, but the peloton held for him as they began their assault on the finish.
Yeti Boy fell on his sword and went to the front, trying to break up the peloton, but apparently, the Nation is more afraid of Yeti Boy than they are of Sharkman. They reeled him in at the first short hill right after the turn and then, the speed picked up dramatically.
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| Yeti Boy sporting a very classic Guiness Jersey! |
Skittles moved forward with a cast of thousands on his wheel as Sharkman grabbed any wheel he could and held on, with Raptor on Sharkman's wheel.
Sharkman got to Skittles wheel and thought he'd hold on as long as he could but after summiting the final ascent before the finish, he could hold no longer and began to fade.
By this time, Raptor had dropped off and of the old Shark's wheel and as he looked in his rearview mirror (yes, his concession to old age.....a mirror) and dug a bit deeper, he realized he had a gap!
He was riding on the rivets, as Phil Liggett would say!
Sharkman was thinking everyone was to his right, so he went to the right side of the road to check the mirror, ......he had a gap!
But could the old veteran stay away from the fast moving train known as the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!!
As he bore down on Skittles and the finish, he knew there was no hope catching the young sprinter, and he wasn't sure he could hold off a very fast moving Shark Nation even on the down hill!
Sharkman's legs were starting to feel it, as the finish line loomed closer and he saw the Vortex known as Greyhound moving up behind him, closer and closer!
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| Brewman, wearing the "original" Bell's Jersey! Who else, but Brewman! |
However, the diminutive Shark was able to stay away, dancing on the pedals, taking second behind Skittles and with Greyhound finishing right behind him!
Oh, the humanity!!!
The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the riders moved toward the press conference at the Klutch.
Bissell Boy there with the credit card and bought for the Shark Minion Nation! This is a great country!!!
Thanks Bissell Boy! You rock!!!
The Klutch was a buzz with discussion, koffee and a lot of banter, and the talk was so great, the old Shark forgot to get Klutch photos! Oh, the humanity!
Yeti and Sharkman had a bit of head wind on the way back to the Shark Cove, but it was another great day in the saddle and they hardly noticed the wind!
You won't want to miss this weeks edition, even though the Sharkman will! Oh, the humanity!!!
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| Wishbone in his Bell's jersey! |
Saturday, July 17, 2021
Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
BE THERE!
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| Gazelle Girl sporting "Bitch Socks" on Beer Jersey Day!??? |
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| Gazelle Girl arrives to shouts from her adoring fans!!! |
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| It sure does, Gazelle Girl, it sure does...... |
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| Sasquatsh in Bloody 'Ell Jersey, which qualifies as a beer jersey!
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| Raptor, late for the start photo! |
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| Working on it...... |
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| The "Vortex" known as Greyhound! |
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| Finally!!! |
RETIREE RIDE MOVED BACK ONE WEEK!!!*
Belo News
July 14, 2021
Shark Cove, Mi. - Late breaking news! Due to the weather reports, the Retiree Ride was moved back one week to Thursday, July 22, 2021! Not the 21st as reported in the bulletin put out this past Tuesday.
When Gazelle Girl asked the Editors of Belo News to put out the bulletin, she apparently did not factor in their incompetence in doing anything!
So follow the attached information and BE THERE!
You do not have to be retired to ride!
* New Date! New Date! New Date!
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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