YOUNG RIDERS IN THE MIX!

THE OLD GUYS RULE THE PODIUM!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock Red, White & Blue Kit Day!

CELEBRITY RIDER/LONG LOST MINIONS RETURN!!!

RED, WHITE & BLUE KIT DAY A HUGE SUCCESS!!!

DICK MOVES* WITHOUT REB, YOU SAY?!??

BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

July 3, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cool and crisp over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero liesurelyy sipping coffee and not having to worry about pouring over weather charts. After two Saturday rainouts in a row, our hero was enjoying the morning and his only concern was whether to wear arm warmers or not.

Celebrity Shark Minion, 
Dreamboat, was back!

Long lost Shark Minion, the legendary Rainman, had texted the evening before, that he would be riding and was bringing the Celebrity Rider the Nation has been blessed with a couple of times already this season, Dreamboat!

With Reb, Fire, Yeti Boy, the entrouge included five Shark Minions (which is believed to be a season record) which was almost six, but Stroker, making his season debut, got up a tad late and missed the launch from the Shark Cove and had to drive over.

Sharkman enjoyed catching up with the wayward Shark Minions, while Reb kept whining about going too fast, even though he was dropping off halfway over and returning home for "Dad Baseball Duties" and had to be back home by 8:30 a.m.

As the riders approached the start, Brewman pulled in wearing his Victory Beer, Red, White & Blue Kit and looking quite dapper for his return to the peloton after being absent for a few weeks.

Other long lost Shark Minions arrived quickly, including the Bounty Hunter and that Shark Minion favorite, Kia Pet, making his season debut!!!

Toesetter arrived, sans Gazelle Girl, to cheers of "Toesetter!"

But where was Gazelle Girl?

Toe reported she was entertaining her "Bestie" at the Triple Nasty Ranchero, but Sharkman rebutted that excuse, stating he was Gazelle Girls "Bestie" with a capital "B!" 

Who is this rider?
None other than our own
Rainman!

Two Start Photos were taken, as Fabio, astride his "woodie," and Bissell Boy arrived a bit late and the photo had to be re-taken. After some opening words from the Galesburg Mayor in honor of the 4th of July, the Shark Minion train was ready to leave the station to the cheers of the gathered throng of people.

As the mighty Shark Minion Nation traversed their way through the thriving metropolis of Galesburg, waving to their adoring fans, it was noticed that the Klutch looked a bit empty, but it was the 4th of July weekend and many may have been sleeping in, missing this colorful start to the day.

As they moved north, Sharkman chatted with Dreamboat at the front. Dreamboat apprently did not realize he was supposed to be leading our hero out to his first sprint at this point, and so, Sharkman had to dig deep to get his speed up to 22.6 mph to take his honorary sprint and giving it the honor it deserved. Dreamboat still got his name in Belo News despite not leading our hero out.......

Well played, Dreamboat, well played......

Yeti Boy was on fire and took the next sprint, and it was there that two more Shark Minions jumping on at the stop! Wildman was back and I Owe Beer was returning to make his season debut. 

Welcome back, I Owe Beer!

This brought the total number on the day to 16 riders, one more than needed for Sharkman not to have to remember everyone who was in attendance! 

Thanks Wildman and I Owe Beer!!!

Brewman was back after a short
absence!

With a few young AND old sprinters in the group, the pace picked up considerably as the Nation traversed the col de Twin Lakes, passed a running event at the Gull lake High School, screamed passed the Yorkville Church and on through Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub.

"All on!" at the "Smoke'em if you Got'em" stop, then up the col de Norte as the fast moving train hit mach speed through the Holy Rollers.

Rainman, Dreamboat and Bounty Hunter were putting in massive pulls after the col de Norte, before Sharkman and Kia Pet took over going into the Holy Rollers. That is when Sharkman told Kia Pet how much he hated the first hill in the Holy Rollers. Kia Pet responded by saying, "Yes, I like to try to just get out of the way going up that first hill..." to which Sharkman stated, "I like to get in everyones way so I can slow them down and have a chance to hang on to the food stop!"

It was at the Inlet sprint that the first Dick Move* occurred when Zyckmann went by everyone after riding at the back and taking the sprint. However, he actually crossing the double yellow lines, immediatly disqualifying him for the win, and Brewman muttered, "When did Reb get here?" only to learn it was Fabio hizzelf! Sharkman tried to defend the wayward Dickus Movus* Maximus by stating he thought maybe he had gone ahead to make sure everyone came to a full stop at the Inlet........😏

Fire returning after her tour
of the southeast!!!

Traffic was bad at the Digital Divide and the Nation was split up in the crossing, but after the crossing, the pace line formed up quickly, and then broke into 3 seperate groups. An extremely fast group, a very fast group and a fast group! 

Oh, the humanity, it truly was a runaway train!  

Sharkman settled in behind Greyhound and immediately watched his heart rate drop and the vortex of the big rider seemed so suck him in to a black hole of cycling as the scenery in the "tunnel of trees" began to blur as the speed increased. Riding in the middle group, Sharkman just held on like when Lava Girl tries to take a vanilla cream sandwich cookie out of his hand when he sneaks one from the Tony the Tiger cookie jar. He just wouldn't let go of Greyhounds wheel and began to immediately hallucinate about vanilla cream sandwhich cookies! 

Is this a great country or what!??

MMMmmmmmm cookies........but we digress......

It started to get scary for our hero as he watched the speedometer head north of 25 mph and later, at the press conference, stated that he thought he could hear a warning buzzer as he approached his 71 year old heart red line limit! (we may be watching too much of Phil Liggett.....)

Oh, the humanity. It was so wild, and with Sharkman in the second group, he did not even know who took the coveted GGG Spot Sprint! 

Therefore, he awarded the GGG Spot Sprint to Gazelle Girl, knowing she would appreciate the jester from her Bestie with a capital "B"!! 

It was a victory for America! 

Kia Pet was in the HOUSE!
Been too long, and great
to have you back!!!

After the smoke cleared, Sharkman led the Nation out to the finishing section, worried that with some big guns in the mix, it would be good to try to stretch out the field.

Where is Tow Truck and/or Hossman when you need them??!

Sharkman took off and his mighty Shark Minion Nation let him go, knowing they had the legs to reel him back in.

They allowed Sharkman to open a pretty good gap before Bounty Hunter and a large group of Shark Minions began to reel him back in and then pass him at the foot of the ascent to the finish.

It was then that Sharkman saw Greyhound coming up and he again jumped on him like a mosquito on a sunburned neck on a hot summers evening! 

Sharkman described it later as being phenomal back there! Sharkman envisioned kids at the back of the Greyhound waving at him from the rear of the runaway bus called "The Greyhound!" Kids throwing Vanilla Cream Sandwich cookies at him in celebration of a podium finish!

As the descent to the finish began, Bounty Hunter backed off the front and it was Dreamboat and Greyhound, followed by our own Sharkman hanging on for dear life!

Sharkman tried to go around Greyhound on the right and was immediately hit by a wall of wind, as he rethought that strategy and rationalized it was too soon to make any move.

Then Greyhound started to fade and the old Shark jumped on Dreamboat's wheel, who then also began to slow!

Bounty Hunter had again moved ahead and though Sharkman knew he was not going to catch the wiley sprint veteran, he stepped on it to try to take second!

That's when it happened!

Bounty Hunter had returned.
And he returned strong!!!

Fabio, who had used the Bounty Hunter's wheel as long as he could to close the gap to Sharkman, simply biding his time, went around our hero at the end to take the second spot on the podium by a half a length, with our hero capturing the third spot. 

Oh, the humanity!

Dickus Movus* Maximus on the day!!!

Oh, double the humanity!!!

Finishing Average Speed was 19.27 mph!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero's zipped up their jersey's for the sponsers, all of whom seemed to have Red, White & Blue Company Colors on this special holiday edition of the KK-TdG!!!

Hoosier Boy won the sprint to the Klutch to pay for the koffee! Is this a great counry or what?!??

Thanks Hoosier Boy!

It was another great day in the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

There was even a tailwind back to the Shark Cove! The cycling gods were smiling on the Nation this fine Holiday weekend, making up for the rain the past couple of weeks.

So don't miss this weeks edition, when it will be "Beer Jersey Day!"

That's right Bunkie, it is summer, and what do Shark Minions do in the summer? They drink beer!

Which brewery will win Beer Jersey Day?!!! Is this a great country or what?!??

Saturday, July 10, 2021

Beer Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! - Don't miss the start photo!!!

Be there!

* Though Fabio did not look back, which would make it a classic, Maximus, Dick Move, it was a Dick Move none the less......

Bissell Boy returns after rocking
the Gravel Grinder with
Stryker Guy!

I Owe Beer makes his
season debut!

The boys in their Red, White & Blues!!!

The "Brooklyn" style jersey won the day!

Stroker, making his season debut, and 
the man of the hour, Hoosier
Boy! Thanks for the koffee Hoosier
Boy!

The Klutch was rocking!!!

 

AND DON'T FORGET THE RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE ON JULY 15!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.