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| The mighty Minion Nation! |
WAIT, IS IT STILL SUMMER???
BREWMAN RETURNS TO TAKE BEER JERSEY KIT DAY!!!
BELLS EASILY WINS JERSEY COUNT!
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| Brewman wows in his Beer Jersey Kit! |
MORE FORMER MINIONS RETURN!
CELEBRITY RIDER THIS WEEK FOR IRON HORSE JERSEY KIT DAY!!!
YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THIS ONE!!!
Belo News,
August 24, 2019
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke dark and cold over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero awoke suddenly and ran to the Shark Thermometer.
49 degrees in August?!? Wait, what the ........
The old Shark had seen the forecast, but was having a hard time digesting that the forecast was correct! "This is August, not October......," he thought to hizzelf as he donned his Oberon Beer Jersey along with his Tony Vest, which matched perfectly, and his Oberon socks thinking, it will be hard to look better than this old Shark.......
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| Reb, in his T shirt waiting for the start....... |
As the Shark garage door slowly opened, there was Yeti Boy ready to rock it, commenting "Did you see the temperature?"
The two rode to Helmer and as they crossed, saw the lights of Reb and Fire coming across I-94 with Reb in his usual T shirt jersey.
The ride over to the start was uneventful, though the four did see a rider heading up the hill as they descended into the sleeping burg of Galesburg. Fire thought it might be Hermster on his warm up lap, but he was past the turn off, and as he waved, Sharkman thought it was Mad Dog (maybe wishful thinking.....). Reb was pretty sure it was Skittles, but Sharkman wondered what he would be doing heading in that direction. It was later confirmed it was, in fact, Skittles and he latched on to the ride later, as it was heading out to the first sprint.
At the start, Brewman was getting out of his car and Sharkman questioned him, stating he thought he would be gone two weeks. Brewman responded by saying that he had returned from his Alaskan Cruise at midnight the previous evening and wanted to ride! What a stud muffin! He was also in a fantastic "Phillips Brewing" jersey that easily took honors on the day!
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| Wishbone looking serious in his Bell's kit! |
As the riders started piling in, Squeaky made his return to the peloton looking like he was ready to head to the North Pole. Dressed in a large stocking cap, polar gloves and huge wind jacket (and we do mean huge) he was ready to ride again. When asked where he had been all season he responded by stating he had been busy with sailing and other "stuff."
Welcome back Squeak!
Stroker was also returning to the peloton after his swim season and was sporting some leg warmers that were questioned as to whether he had forgotten to take his pajama's off before putting on his shorts. He was relegated to the back of the peloton, as no car could miss those leggings that were neon yellow and screamed, "back off the peloton!"
Gazelle Girl arrived with the sun on her shoulder and with Cricket and Maid Marian on her wheel. A very weak, wearing Beer Jersey's.
Sixteen Minions lined up for the photo and to the sound of pedals clicking in and a roar from the tofosi, the mighty Shark Minion Nation train pulled out of the station and towards the City Center.
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| Our hero thought he had it won with his matching Oberon socks and Tony vest.... |
As the peloton began the start, Boatman and Greyhound pulled up, followed by J-Dog, who hadn't been seen in some time! Welcome back, J-Dog! More riders joined on, including Skittles, as the Nation headed north.
Falcon took an early lead and so Skittles came up to pull and Sharkman gratefully grabbed his wheel as Skittles pulled our intrepid hero forward to close the gap to Falcon.
Skittles pealed off and Falcon pulled Sharkman, making him work way harder than he wanted to in the early cool morning, to take the first, honorary sprint at a blistering 23.1 mph. Oh, the humanity!
Sharkman took a count at the G Ave. crossing and was pretty sure it was 23 riders. Though it was hard to tell who else had joined on, there were a lot of riders and Sharkman was pleased to note that they all seemed to be better about riding safe and to the right.
The ride was beautiful on this brisk summer morning as the sun came up over the col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church and into the fastest part of the ride known as the Kountry Klub section.
After Kellogg Korner, Cricket, Falcon, Skittles, Doper and others opened a gap in the field as they past the Kountry Klub and Nation spread out. However, after the turn after the Kountry Klub, the group sat up and the Nation grouped up for the assault on the Rt. 43 sprint.
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| Squeaky was back and dressed for a gale force winter! |
In an effort to retain his title on this sprint from the previous week, Hermster made his now patented move to the front, but he wasn't fooling the riders. Several jumped on, including Falcon who stayed on Hermsters wheel. Though it was uncertain if Falcon backed off or not, Hermster was able to defend his sprint title for another week!
It was a victory for America!
The peloton stopped at Rt. 43 as Skittles took a "comfort break" and Sharkman shouted out, "smoke'em if you got'em!"
Once Skittles was done, the Nation moved on to the col de Norte and with no stragglers and the brisk pace, the Shark Minions moved quickly to the Holy Rollers were the Food Stop was well contested. Unfortunately, Belo News was so far back the winners were not noted (of even seen.....).
After the Low Road, where Sharkman stole the sprint from Squeaky with a dick move, the Nation got to the Digital Divide and made a quick crossing as Sharkman tried, yet again, to get a pace line started.
As he moved to the left, Reb came through nicely and there actually seemed to be a few riders behind him. Sharkman moved back quickly, hoping to set a precedent, but to no avail. Within approximately 6 riders people were talking and socializing and not keeping the line going!
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| I Owe Beer in his Smuttynose Kit! Always a winner |
After final curve, several Minions moved up to take the Sweetheart of the Peloton to the front and to capture her coveted GGG Spot Sprint yet again! A shout of "It is a Victory for America" went up from the Nation as Gazelle Girl reigned for yet another week!
As the Nation crossed over G Ave. they got split by a passing car and after the turn onto the finish stretch, they waited for all to join on.
That is when it happened...........
Hermster made his move really early this week and went out front fast, throwing himself on his sword. Cricket, having been gone a while, was unaware of whether Hermster was able to hold the sprint and immediately responded to the attack and the two opened up a very large gap on the peloton.
Falcon came forward and shouting, "Come on, let's go gett'em!!!" but no one responded to his plea.
At the press conference later, Skittles commented that he did not realize it was the final sprint. Wait, ....what?!? He's won it like a gazillion times......
When Hermster began to fade, Cricket had an unstoppable path to the tape, with the cagey Hermster on his wheel till the final ascent.
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| The Sweetheart of the Peloton arrives with the sun on her shoulder and her entourage in tow! |
With Cricket scrambling up the hill, Hermster fading and Falcon still alone and trying to close the gap, the Nation, including Skittles, seemed to wake up to make a move. But the effort was too late, as Cricket coasted to an easy win, Skittles managed to catch Hermster, but Hermster was able to hold on for the third spot on the podium.
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| Gazelle Girl showing off her Beer Jersey! Yes, BEU jersey's count! |
The Klutch did not have the "reserved" sign out and a koffee drinker was at the only large table left, so the Minions began to sit down. He quickly got the message and was kind enough to move to another table even though the Nation invited him to stay.
Smart man........
It was learned it was Greyhounds birthday the day before and Bissell Boys the day after! Happy Birthday to both Minions!
The talk went on and the group seemed to stay late.
But all good things do need to end, so Sharkman, Yeti Boy, Fire and Reb headed out to ride back to the Creek.
It was a great morning to be a Shark Minion!
You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG!
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| Wildman sporting his Schlafly Beer kit! |
Celebrity Rider and President of the Mountain States Chapter of the mighty Shark Minion Nation, the Durango Kid, will be joining the home Nation and in recognition of that, it has been designated at Iron Horse Jersey Day!
Oh, the humanity!
Saturday, August 31, 2019 (wait, can it be the last day of August! Oh, double the humanity!!!)
Iron Horse Jersey Kit Day!
Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!
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| Bissell Boy sporting Oberon! Oberon had 5 jerseys on the day! |
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| Stroker in his Day-Glow-Neon leg warmers! Is this a great country or what?!? |
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| Apologies for cutting off Brewman, again! Oh, the humanity! But you can see part of that amazing beer jersey! |
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