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| It was a big day in the mighty Shark Minion Nation! |
CELEBRITY, SON IN LAW RIDERS! IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?
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| Sharkman with his son in law Celebrity Riders. Sharkman/MK/The Great Moultini! |
LEAVE NO MINION BEHIND! WAIT, .......WHAT?
"A" GROUP? WHAT "A" GROUP? INVESTIGATION PENDING!
DON'T FORGET TO ORDER YOUR 30TH ANNIVERSARY JERSEY AND SHORTS!
JERSEY DEADLINE - MIDNIGHT THIS THURSDAY!
MINIONS ROCK THE TRIPLE-BY-PASS!
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED, RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE, AND MORE ON THE SCHEDULE!
UGLY JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY! OH, THE HUMANITY!
Belo News
July 17, 2018
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke early over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman could hardly contain himself with excitement! Today his two son in laws would be joining him on his "Field of Dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch - Tour de Gull as celebrity riders! Is this a great country or what?!?
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| Sharkman was pretty geeked about having his son in laws on the ride! |
They would also be riding over to the start with him and they were up early to ready their steeds!
Big thanks to those Minions who lent bikes to the Sharkman for his son in laws! As everyone knows, Sharkman lucked out on two, not only great son in laws and Dad's, but great bike riders!
And now, celebrity Shark Minion Riders! MK and the Great Moultini had been kicking his butt all week on training rides and Sharkman wanted to put both of them into the "pain cave" on his beloved ride! (Like that was ever going to happen.........?)
Nikeboy also showed up at the Shark Cove at 7:00 a.m. - SHARP (and looking sharp in his Rafa Kit - the Style Guy at his best!) for the ride over to the start and the four riders caught up on all the news from Santa Fe to Walnut Creek to Battle Creek!
As the riders approached the start there were a number of regulars, as well as some virgin Minions who rode in!
Cricket, a Minion missing in action for some time, rode in with 3 virgin Minions (see photo) whose names Sharkman would not remember! However, welcome to all from the mighty Minion Nation!
Ranger Rick was back and snapping photos he later sent to Belo News! Thanks Ranger Rick!
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| Sharkman attempting a "Selfie Start" shot, courtesy of Ranger Rick! |
It was Shark Minion Jersey Day and the Shark Minions were living the credo that "if you can't be good, look good!"
After Sharkman introduced his two son in law celebrity riders, he then asked the virgin Minions to introduce themselves to the crowd, and took a series of start photos, including some taken by Ranger Rick of Sharkman shooting himself and the Nation! Wait,....what?
This is a great country!
Skittles volunteered to lead the A Group after Mad Dog and Super Trooper (a new Minion, but not a Virgin - welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Super Trooper!) declared they would join him. After some safety instructions of staying two abreast through town, Sharkman got the train rolling out of the station with that sweet sound of pedals clicking in as the sun rose higher and warmer in the morning sky!
The early morning Koffee group waved as the Nation caught the light and rolled past the Klutch and the barista counted the riders. Sharkman counted 25 at the start but it was again, a morning of people dropping off and joining back on. Snowman, a long lost Minion also jumped on as the Nation moved through town, while Nikeboy took off for a meeting in Kalamazoo.
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| Yep, the old Shark was pretty geeked! |
After the Nation headed north and Sharkman went up and down the peloton pressing the flesh, the A Group cut off approached. Skittles mentioned that after the A Group caught the B Group, he would go ahead and get a video of Gazelle Girl taking the GGG Spot Sprint!
Son in law MK and Sasquatch led out the Sharkman and MK made him work for it! For a moment, Sharkman thought MK might try to take it, but the speed leveled off at 25 mph and Sharkman got it just in time after being pushed to his fastest first sprint of the season!
The Nation moved through the next sprint before the col de Twin Lakes and when Sharkman shouted out at the Stop Sign, "everyone on?" there was a resounding, "Yes!"
Through the col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church and on to Kellogg Korner, the mighty Minion Nation picked up the speed going into the Kountry Klub section of the ride.
There was a very spirited sprint to the Rt. 43 intersection when again, after the Nation formed up and Sharkman shouted, "All on?" he got another resounding, "Yes, all on!"
The pace picked up again as the mighty Shark Minion train move south into the Holy Rollers, where Sharkman thought it was funny to shout out, "No crossing the yellow lines!" when the new pavement did not have them! But he heard no laughing......
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| Ranger Rick was back and taking pics! |
At the Frona's Food stop, the Nation formed up and again, Sharkman shouted out, "All on?" to which he heard another resounding, "Yes! All on!"
However, that proved not to be the case as B-Rod, who had not been on the bike for a while, was still in the Holy Rollers and from a distance saw the Nation move on! Oh, the humanity! The Nation left a Minion behind and not only a Minion, but a legendary Minion!
The Nation just kept the pace up as they did not believe they had any stragglers!
Actually, it was becoming the fastest ride of the 2018 Season!
As a matter of fact, due to this excessive increase in ride speed, and Sharkman's insistance on keeping it going, a complaint has been filed by the "A" Group and Skittles and a subsuqent invegitation has been launched. Read the following from Skittles.....
'A' Ride Report......
Skittles
Three riders took on the challenge of riding three extra miles then attempt to catch the B Group: Skittles, SuperTrooper and Mad Dog each taking repeated heroic pulls with Mad Dog taking The Final Sprint.
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| The "A" Group of Skittles, Mad Dog and Super Trooper, on the road, by photographer Skittles! |
They were unable to catch the B Group due to Sharkman's unscrupulous and unprecedented practice of not stopping at stop signs! (denied by Sharkman in a subsequent press conference) ‘A’ Riders were continually looking for signs they could let up the taxing pace but were disappointed at each corner in not seeing them once again. The Commissioners are currently investigating and are expected to enforce severe penalties on Sharkman for leaving B-Rod, thereby violating the longstanding No Minion Left Behind Policy.
Oh the Humanity!
(Editors Note - Thank you Skittles. The Nation awaits the Commissioner's judgement in the matter!)
Meanwhile, the ride went on!
As the Nation motored through the Inlet and on to the Digital Divide, Sharkman and his Minions were completely oblivious to having left B-Rod behind!
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| Oh, was he geeked! |
The normal pace line formed up after the Digital Divide with Sharkman and MK first leading out, but with a cast of thousands coming around after the short hill at the start. Sharkman was watching the line picking up speed when Boatman flew by like the pace line was going in reverse. Several Minions jumped on his wheel and the pace went way up, leaving many wondering if they had forgotten Gazelle Girl and her coveted GGG Spot Sprint!
A small group of Minions gathered around the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" and took her to the front, but were concerned she had put so much effort into getting to the front she would have nothing left for the finish!
However, Gazelle Girl dug deep and as the lead group was caught, she went by to take her prize.
Again, Sharkman asked if all were on and got a resounding "YES!" and off the Nation went.
Where was the "A" Group? They usually catch the "B" Group at the GGG Spot Sprint?
After crossing G Ave., MK and Hossman threw themselves on their swords and went to the front to pull the finishing pack apart for safety, with Sharkman holding on to their wheels with all his might.
As Hossman and MK, took turns at the front and Sharkman sat in, sucking their jet stream, the final ascent to the finish came up, as did a number or riders. Sharkman actually had some gas left after sitting in and tried to get close to watch as Cricket, Sasquatch and Wildman fought it out to that podium finish with a speed average of 19.7 mph and no "A" Group in sight.
Wait, .....what?!?
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| Virgin Minions! Too many to name! Welcome to the Nation! |
The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's moved, two abreast, back to the Klutch for the press conference.
As the riders piled in to the Klutch and Hossman bought the koffee (Thanks Hossman!), the Nation saw the "A" Group ride up with B-Rod ! B-Rod? Oh, ya, B-Rod!
Oh, the humanity! It was only then that Sharkman realized he had left a Minion behind!
B-Rod took it all in stride and was a gentlemen about the situation, but the Nation still felt bad and all thought that a way must be found to keep track of Minions when there are 25 or more riders jumping on an off the ride......
Shortly after, Lava Girl and all the Sharklets appeared for breakfast and to sign autographs. Then, as a double bonus, Mrs Sasquatch arrived with cute little Loch Ness in tow!
It this a great country or what?!?
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| Super Trooper! Welcome to the Nation! |
Man, what a great morning on the tour! You won't want to miss this weeks edition!
It will be "Ugly Jersey" Day! You heard that right Bunkie! Pick out that jersey you can't figure out why you purchased it or can't even remember purchasing it, and come on out and ride! The Nation will vote on the ugliest jersey during koffee at the Klutch, Post ride!
Saturday, July 21, 2018
Ugly Jersey Day!
Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!
Be there!
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| Mr. & Mrs. Sasquatch with little Loch Ness! |
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| Skittles waiting to file his complaint! B-Rod, in the background, will be a key witness. |
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| The Great Moultini with Nina! |
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| Sharkman's Sharklet Grandson William! |
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| The Klutch was rocking! |
DON'T FORGET TO ORDER YOUR 30TH ANNIVERSARY JERSEY AND SHORTS!
ORDERS MUST BE PLACED BEFORE MIDNIGHT, THURSDAY!
MINIONS GO NUTS FOR 30TH ANNIVERSARY KIT!
Belo News
July 19, 2018
Shark Cove, Mi. - The mighty Shark Minion Nation has gone nuts for the 30th Anniversary kit and enough orders have already been received to go ahead with the shorts! Thanks to all the Minions who have ordered already, and to those of you who haven't yet, you better hurry as the deadline is Thursday night, July 19, 2018 at midnight. So don't wait Bunkie! Order yours now!
BLOODY 'ELL HUNDRED INVITE IS OUT! BE THERE!
Belo News
July 18, 2018
Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - Here is the invitation that every Minion waits for! Yep, it is time for the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!
Don't forget to RSVP to Gazelle Girl by July 25!!!
She needs a count!
RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE THIS COMING TUESDAY! IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?
MINIONS ROCK THE TRIPLE-BY-PASS!
Belo News
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| Easty, Al (Minion Name to be Determined), Hockey Boy and Stryker Guy at the finish! Congratulations on a great finish! |
July 14, 2018
Report by Styker Guy:
Colorado - A few Shark Minions and one soon to be Shark Minion, rocked the Triple-By-Pass last week without the need of a by pass! Is this a great country or what?!?
Stryker Guy reported that the finale took place on July 14, 2018 with Eastie, Al Carpenter (not a minion...yet), Hockey Boy and Stryker Guy finishing the Triple By Pass along with 3500 other riders!
They finished in 12 hours (that was pretty good actually), riding 120 Miles with 12K of climbing!
Stryker Guy reported he and the team were absolutely wasted at the end but did manage to find a couple beers post ride! This is a great country!?!
Congratulations to these Minions! You did the Shark Minion Nation proud and we look forward to hearing all about it next Saturday!
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