BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED EXTRAVAGANZA!

From left to right, Easty, Wishbone, Vladimir the Impaler, Toesetter, B-Rod, Zyckmann, Yeti Boy, Wildman,
Dr. Dave, Hoosier boy, Sharkman, Sasquatch, Gazelle Girl, Shonger and Ranger Rick!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YETI BOY!

CONGRATULATIONS TO SQUEAKY ON HIS RETIREMENT!!!

VLADIMIR THE IMPALER??!

Vlad the Impaler!

THIS SATURDAY, UGLY JERSEY DAY ON SOUTH ROUTE!!! IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News
July 28, 2018

Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and beautiful over the lavish estate of cycling legend, the Zyckmann (or a spelling close to that) we find the legend readying the Estate for the onslaught of Shark Minions who will descend on his Gull Lake home for the Annual, Bloody 'Ell 'Undred or affectionately known as the BEU!

It could not have been a more beautiful, picture perfect day for a romp up to that Shark Minion favorite haunt, the Walldorf!

It was also a special morning as two celebrity riders were there for the start and a virgin Minion who took part in the ride and got named on the same day!

Gazelle Girl getting photos
with Squeaky watching!

Squeaky and Easty rode in separately to wish the Nation a great ride! Squeaky also announced that he would be retiring on the following Friday and would be able to ride with the Nation more often! Congratulations Squeaky on your well deserved retirement!

Easty had another engagement, but wanted to get a ride around the lake in before heading out, so he stopped in to offer his regards and to help celebrate Yeti Boys Birthday!

Yep, it was Yeti Boys Birthday and he brought a cake for all to enjoy! This was one of those "special" birthday's with a 0 in it! Oh, the humanity!

Despite being older, it didn't stop him from destroying the course later that day.

New to the Nation was Virgin Minion, George, who, when it was learned his middle name was Vladimir, instantly became "Vlad the Impaler" which caused Zyckmann to give livid details of what "impaling" entailed. Oh, the humanity!

Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Vlad the Impaler!

After a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday to Yeti Boy, the downing of Gazelle Girls artfully made deviled eggs and Birthday Cake, washed down with Bloody Mary's expertly prepared by Toesetter, the Nation was ready to ride!

Wishbone sporting the second best
jersey fo the day!

In addition to those Minions already mentioned, other Minions in attendance were Ranger Rick, Sasquatch, B-Rod, Wildman, Hoosier Boy, Wishbone (asking, "where can I buy one of those fantastic BEU Jersey's?) Dr. Dave, and Shonger! (see photo)

The lovely Marsha (Mrs. Zyckmann) was kind enough to take a photo of all the riders and at 10:10 a.m. - SHARP! the Nation pulled out of the station known as the Zyckmann Estate and headed out for one hell of a fantastic ride!

As the ride headed north and west, the Nation seemed to settle into a very brisk, but fantastic pace. The morning was cool and sunny, but maybe the best part was there wasn't a lot of wind to slow the mighty Shark Minion Train as it took in the sights of western Michigan.

Sasquatch, Toesetter and Ranger Rick seemed to take an early interest in setting the pace and teamed up to put together an extremely smooth ride!

This route is loaded with sights, all free, as the Nation moved pass farms and fields and then along Gun Lake up to the Yankee Springs area where the hills can be a major challenge.

Toesetter even braided his beard!

Just as they left Gun Lake and began to head into Yankee Springs, the Nation pulled into the Marathon Station so Gazelle Girl could call the Walldorf to put in the pizza order!

Is this a great country or what!?!

The Nation played nice and stayed together through the hills, making them much more easy and making the ride a lot of fun for all the riders. The Minion Code to "leave no Minion behind" was in full effect!

No Dick Banging was being enforced!

The Walldorf was ready and the Nation scored one of the best waitress in the annals of Minion/Walldorf history. The beer was flowing and the pizza kept coming!

B-Rod was not happy with the pizza selection in that he did not believe there was enough meat (apparently chicken doesn't count, or pineapple for that matter....).

Gazelle Girl noted that next year she will work on remembering meat for the cannibals in the group!

Sharkman was slugging down pizza like there was not tomorrow, hoping to absorb the Cobain he was chugging down. He does believe that Pizza is the perfect food. It has your crust group, your pepperoni group,  your cheese group, your sauce group and if you drink it with a beer, your wheat group. Plus it is round so it has that whole "circle of life" thing going for it!

Oh, happy day! Yeti Boy bought the beer in celebration of his birthday and Wildman bought the pizza for no good reason at all! Is this a great country or what!?!?

Big thanks to Yeti Boy and Wildman for taking care of business!

Wildman got picked up by Mrs. Wildman after lunch as they were going to the Tigers game later that night.

Zyckmann working the crowd while Birthday
Boy saves his energy!

Sharkman will attest to the fact it is hard, at least for him, to get on a bike after a few beers......

The pace up to the Walldorf was a brisk 18 mph. The 22 mile pace back to the Zyckmann Estate was 16.7 mph with fewer hills! Oh, the humanity!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation pulled into the Zyckmann Estate at 3:10 p.m.! Enough time for Zyckman to down a post ride beer, shower and get ready for the wedding reception he would be attending at 4 p.m. just down the street!

The other Minions hung around for beer, bull and a general discussion how this might be the best BEU in recent memories! Sun, great temps, no wind, beer, pizza, laughs, ......it was a victory for America!

Huge thanks to Gazelle Girl and Zyckmann for putting this ride together again this and every year!

Shonger enjoyes a Bloody Mary while
Wishbone wants a BEU Jersey!

It was a fantastic day in the saddle!

You won't want to miss this weekends edition when all the BEU veterans will be buzzing about the great ride the previous week!

It has been named "Ugly Jersey Day!" Since it was rained out two weeks ago, we bring it back despite the fact Nike Boy doesn't own any ugly kit!?! Oh, the humanity!

He'll just have to muddle through......

That's right Bunkie! Get out that jersey you hate, is ugly or whatever. The Minion with the ugliest jersey gets to buy Sharkman's koffee! This is a great country!

It is also Shermanator Weekend, so the Nation will head to the South Route with Sharkman pointing out all those fantastic sites in central Kalamazoo County! Only $.50 a site (no change).

Can you feel the excitement?

Huh, can you?!

B-Rod and Wildman talking ride strategy.

Saturday, August (wait, ...what? Is it August already!) 4, 2018!

Ugly Jersey Day! South Route!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

Virgin Minion Vlad the Impaler!
Welcome to the Nation!

Sasquatch taking care of business after his pace work!

B-Rod asking, "Where's the beef?!?"

Shonger saying, "pass the Cobain!"

Wildman bought the pizza AND
had himself some Cobain!

Oh, Zyckmann was enjoying the Walldorf!

Toesetter and Yeti Boy checking the flora and fauna.....

The two seemed to "bond" after
the "experience."

Waiting for the "bonding" to end........

Toesetter getting "comfortable"
post ride!

Post ride refreshment...........

Zyckmann showered and ready
to party again! What a stud!

It was a fantastic day in the saddle!

"BUT I DON'T OWN ANY UGLY KIT!?!"

Sharkman mulling the call.....
Oh, the humanity!

DON'T WORRY, THE NATION WAS RAINED OUT ANYWAY!!!

WHAT, ....ANOTHER RAIN OUT? OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

RETIREE LUNCH ROCKS!

THIS SATURDAY, THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED!

BE THERE!

Belo News

July 21, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke wet and wild over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, lay wondering what awaited him outside his dark shark bedroom window. 

The forecast had been dismal on the previous day and the Shark Cove had registered .6 inches of rain on the Shark Rain Gage on Friday.

Our hero immediately ran to the Shark Radar and fired up the Weather Channel on TV only to see one of those "iffy" mornings facing him. Rain all around him, coming and going, but none at the Cove at the moment.......The Sharkman then went to his weather app and noticed that it said no rain for the next few hours but chance of isolated thunderstorms.

Just then the old Shark got a text message from Nikeboy. Nikeboy had texted him earlier in the week to report as the "Real Style Guy" of the mighty Shark Minion Nation, he did not even own any ugly jersey or kit and that alone might put the ride in jeopardy for the veteran rider.

However, he was now reporting that in addition to not having ugly kit of any kind he was turning into Rainman II!

The text read, "In addition to not being able to find an ugly jersey, I don’t really want to ride in the slop that would mess up my perfectly coordinated kit, so I’m out this morning."

To which Sharkman replied, "Sorry to hear, but thanks for letting me know. Another one of those mornings that make it tough to call. My Weather Bug App says no rain other than light stuff for a while, so I'm probably donning my ugly jersey and heading out. We'll see how good my app is!"

The Shark sent the text along with the screen grab from his weather bug app.

So much for the weather bug! It had
actually been pretty accurate
this year......

Nikeboy responded with, "In addition to being Nike Boy and The Real Style Guy, I’ve become Rainman II!

But alas,  Sharkman headed out to the garage to get his bike ready and when he opened the garage door, it was raining pretty hard. He sent the following text to Nikeboy......"Actually, I just went out to get my bike ready and it is raining, so I may call it or drive to the start. Damn, this has been a tough year......"

In addition to this text exchange, Sharkman was emailing with Gazelle Girl and she was reporting rain from the Triple Nasty Ranchero in Galesburg and radar was now showing rain there as well.

Sharkman also got a text from Wildman, who after being told that the ride would be cancelled, stated he would go back to bed. Sharkman, on his second cup of coffee at that point, knew that wasn't in the cards for him and just sulked......

As our intrepid hero sulked, he got another report from Gazelle Girl that at Launch Time (8:00 A.M. - SHARP!) it was raining pretty good in Galesburg.........another cup of coffee and a bit more sulking.....

It has not been a good year with the weather and many of the calls were hard to make, though ended up being the best call. Sharkman does not want anyone to get hurt and does worry about Thunderstorms developing and the possibility of lightening.

Oh, the humanity!

But the Nation will ride!

This weekend is the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Tour (not race) and the invitation is attached! Don't forget to wear your BEU Jersey's and get ready for Bloody Mary's, a special treat from Yeti Boy and of course, Walldorf Beer! 

The beer was tested on the Retiree Ride (see next story) and it is READY!

See you all out at the Zyckmann Estate on Saturday morning!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

July 25, 2018

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - This Saturday is the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred and attached it the invitation. Gazelle Girl needs to get your RSVP no later than Thursday Night, July 26, 2018 so the Walldorf can be warned.....we mean, notified......whatever! 

You might also want to pack a little post ride refreshment in a cooler as Zyckmann has to attend a wedding but has graciously offered that the Nation can tail gate post ride!

Don't forget to wear your BEU Jersey!

 RETIREE LUNCH ROCKS!

Belo News
July 24, 2018

Zyckmann, Sharkman, Gazelle Girl and
Celebrity Guest, Caty!

Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - It was again time for the Retiree's Lunch Ride yesterday!

Though you do not have to be retired to take part in this ride, it helps! Actually, Zyckhmmaann and Gazelle Girl aren't fully retired!

This year, Zychkkman's daughter, Caty, joined the group for lunch as our celebrity !

It was a fantastic day to ride and the pace was brisk but very comfortable!

Sharkman was able to find a nice Tangerine Cream Ale that was on nitrogen and only had 4.8 % alcohol! Sharkman found it refreshing, yet had a nice "nose with slight citrus after tones and yet full bodied!"..........Is this a great country or what!?!

Of course, the trip back to the Zyckmann Estate was all up hill, or seemed that way after a couple of beers! However, Sharkmans Tangerine Cream Ale being only 4.8% made the ride home a bit less up hill for our hero! This is a great country!

Big thanks to Gazelle Girl and Zyckmann for putting this great ride together and thanks in advance for this Saturday! Double, this is a great country!!!

Dad and daughter Caty!
Thanks for joining us Caty!

Gazelle Girls photo bomb!

Just looking at these pics makes the Editors thirsty!

Is this a great country or what?!?

RIDE RAINED OUT!

Belo News
July 21, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - The ride for today is cancelled! Rain is predicted off and on and there is a chance of lightening. Sharkman doesn't want anyone hurt out there.

See you all next week at the BEU!

Sharkman

25 RIDERS ROCK THE KK-TdG IN CLASSIC STYLE!

It was a big day in the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

CELEBRITY, SON IN LAW RIDERS! IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Sharkman with his son in law Celebrity Riders.
Sharkman/MK/The Great Moultini!

LEAVE NO MINION BEHIND! WAIT, .......WHAT?

"A" GROUP? WHAT "A" GROUP? INVESTIGATION PENDING!

DON'T FORGET TO ORDER YOUR 30TH ANNIVERSARY JERSEY AND SHORTS!

JERSEY DEADLINE - MIDNIGHT THIS THURSDAY!

MINIONS ROCK THE TRIPLE-BY-PASS!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED, RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE,  AND MORE ON THE SCHEDULE!

UGLY JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News
July 17, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke early over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman could hardly contain himself with excitement! Today his two son in laws would be joining him on his "Field of Dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch - Tour de Gull as celebrity riders! Is this a great country or what?!?

Sharkman was pretty geeked about
having his son in laws on the ride!

They would also be riding over to the start with him and they were up early to ready their steeds!

Big thanks to those Minions who lent bikes to the Sharkman for his son in laws! As everyone knows, Sharkman lucked out on two, not only great son in laws and Dad's, but great bike riders!

And now, celebrity Shark Minion Riders! MK and the Great Moultini had been kicking his butt all week on training rides and Sharkman wanted to put both of them into the "pain cave" on his beloved ride! (Like that was ever going to happen.........?)

Nikeboy also showed up at the Shark Cove at 7:00 a.m. - SHARP (and looking sharp in his Rafa Kit - the Style Guy at his best!) for the ride over to the start and the four riders caught up on all the news from Santa Fe to Walnut Creek to Battle Creek!

As the riders approached the start there were a number of regulars, as well as some virgin Minions who rode in!

Cricket, a Minion missing in action for some time, rode in with 3 virgin Minions (see photo) whose names Sharkman would not remember! However, welcome to all from the mighty Minion Nation!

Ranger Rick was back and snapping photos he later sent to Belo News! Thanks Ranger Rick!

Sharkman attempting a "Selfie Start"
shot, courtesy of Ranger Rick!

It was Shark Minion Jersey Day and the Shark Minions were living the credo that "if you can't be good, look good!"

After Sharkman introduced his two son in law celebrity riders, he then asked the virgin Minions to introduce themselves to the crowd, and took a series of start photos, including some taken by Ranger Rick of Sharkman shooting himself and the Nation! Wait,....what?

This is a great country!

Skittles volunteered to lead the A Group after Mad Dog and Super Trooper (a new Minion, but not a Virgin - welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Super Trooper!) declared they would join him. After some safety instructions of staying two abreast through town, Sharkman got the train rolling out of the station with that sweet sound of pedals clicking in as the sun rose higher and warmer in the morning sky!

The early morning Koffee group waved as the Nation caught the light and rolled past the Klutch and the barista counted the riders. Sharkman counted 25 at the start but it was again, a morning of people dropping off and joining back on. Snowman, a long lost Minion also jumped on as the Nation moved through town, while Nikeboy took off for a meeting in Kalamazoo.

Yep, the old Shark was pretty geeked!

After the Nation headed north and Sharkman went up and down the peloton pressing the flesh, the A Group cut off approached. Skittles mentioned that after the A Group caught the B Group, he would go ahead and get a video of Gazelle Girl taking the GGG Spot Sprint!

Son in law MK and Sasquatch led out the Sharkman and MK made him work for it! For a moment, Sharkman thought MK might try to take it, but the speed leveled off at 25 mph and Sharkman got it just in time after being pushed to his fastest first sprint of the season!

The Nation moved through the next sprint before the col de Twin Lakes and when Sharkman shouted out at the Stop Sign, "everyone on?" there was a resounding, "Yes!"

Through the col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church and on to Kellogg Korner, the mighty Minion Nation picked up the speed going into the Kountry Klub section of the ride.

There was a very spirited sprint to the Rt. 43 intersection when again, after the Nation formed up and Sharkman shouted, "All on?" he got another resounding, "Yes, all on!"

The pace picked up again as the mighty Shark Minion train move south into the Holy Rollers, where Sharkman thought it was funny to shout out, "No crossing the yellow lines!" when the new pavement did not have them! But he heard no laughing......

Ranger Rick was back and
taking pics!

At the Frona's Food stop, the Nation formed up and again, Sharkman shouted out, "All on?" to which he heard another resounding, "Yes! All on!"

However, that proved not to be the case as B-Rod, who had not been on the bike for a while, was still in the Holy Rollers and from a distance saw the Nation move on! Oh, the humanity! The Nation left a Minion behind and not only a Minion, but a legendary Minion!

The Nation just kept the pace up as they did not believe they had any stragglers!

Actually, it was becoming the fastest ride of the 2018 Season!

As a matter of fact, due to this excessive increase in ride speed, and Sharkman's insistance on keeping it going, a complaint has been filed by the "A" Group and Skittles and a subsuqent invegitation has been launched. Read the following from Skittles.....






'A' Ride Report......

Skittles

Three riders took on the challenge of riding three extra miles then attempt to catch the B Group: Skittles, SuperTrooper and Mad Dog each taking repeated heroic pulls with Mad Dog taking The Final Sprint. 

The "A" Group of Skittles, Mad Dog and Super Trooper,
on the road, by photographer Skittles!

They were unable to catch the B Group due to Sharkman's unscrupulous and unprecedented practice of not stopping at stop signs! (denied by Sharkman in a subsequent press conference) ‘A’ Riders were continually looking for signs they could let up the taxing pace but were disappointed  at each corner in not seeing them once again. The Commissioners are currently investigating and are expected to enforce severe penalties on Sharkman for leaving B-Rod, thereby violating the longstanding No Minion Left Behind Policy. 

Oh the Humanity!  

(Editors Note - Thank you Skittles. The Nation awaits the Commissioner's judgement in the matter!)

Meanwhile, the ride went on!

As the Nation motored through the Inlet and on to the Digital Divide, Sharkman and his Minions were completely oblivious to having left B-Rod behind!

Oh, was he geeked!

The normal pace line formed up after the Digital Divide with Sharkman and MK first leading out, but with a cast of thousands coming around after the short hill at the start. Sharkman was watching the line picking up speed when Boatman flew by like the pace line was going in reverse. Several Minions jumped on his wheel and the pace went way up, leaving many wondering if they had forgotten Gazelle Girl and her coveted GGG Spot Sprint!

A small group of Minions gathered around the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" and took her to the front, but were concerned she had put so much effort into getting to the front she would have nothing left for the finish!

However, Gazelle Girl dug deep and as the lead group was caught, she went by to take her prize.

Again, Sharkman asked if all were on and got a resounding "YES!" and off the Nation went.

Where was the "A" Group? They usually catch the "B" Group at the GGG Spot Sprint?

After crossing G Ave., MK and Hossman threw themselves on their swords and went to the front to pull the finishing pack apart for safety, with Sharkman holding on to their wheels with all his might.

As Hossman and MK, took turns at the front and Sharkman sat in, sucking their jet stream, the final ascent to the finish came up, as did a number or riders. Sharkman actually had some gas left after sitting in and tried to get close to watch as Cricket, Sasquatch and Wildman fought it out to that podium finish with a speed average of 19.7 mph and no "A" Group in sight.

Wait, .....what?!?

Virgin Minions! Too many to name!
Welcome to the Nation!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's moved, two abreast, back to the Klutch for the press conference.

As the riders piled in to the Klutch and Hossman bought the koffee (Thanks Hossman!), the Nation saw the "A" Group ride up with B-Rod ! B-Rod? Oh, ya, B-Rod!

Oh, the humanity! It was only then that Sharkman realized he had left a Minion behind!

B-Rod took it all in stride and was a gentlemen about the situation, but the Nation still felt bad and all thought that a way must be found to keep track of Minions when there are 25 or more riders jumping on an off the ride......

Shortly after, Lava Girl and all the Sharklets appeared for breakfast and to sign autographs. Then, as a double bonus, Mrs Sasquatch arrived with cute little Loch Ness in tow!

It this a great country or what?!?

Super Trooper! Welcome to the Nation!

Man, what a great morning on the tour! You won't want to miss this weeks edition!

It will be "Ugly Jersey" Day! You heard that right Bunkie! Pick out that jersey you can't figure out why you purchased it or can't even remember purchasing it, and come on out and ride! The Nation will vote on the ugliest jersey during koffee at the Klutch, Post ride!

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Ugly Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

Mr. & Mrs. Sasquatch with
little Loch Ness!

Skittles waiting to file his complaint!
B-Rod, in the background,
will be a key witness.

The Great Moultini with Nina!

Sharkman's Sharklet Grandson William!

The Klutch was rocking!

DON'T FORGET TO ORDER YOUR 30TH ANNIVERSARY JERSEY AND SHORTS!

ORDERS MUST BE PLACED BEFORE MIDNIGHT, THURSDAY!

MINIONS GO NUTS FOR 30TH ANNIVERSARY KIT!

Belo News
July 19, 2018

Shark Cove, Mi. - The mighty Shark Minion Nation has gone nuts for the 30th Anniversary kit and enough orders have already been received to go ahead with the shorts! Thanks to all the Minions who have ordered already, and to those of you who haven't yet, you better hurry as the deadline is Thursday night, July 19, 2018 at midnight. So don't wait Bunkie! Order yours now!

BLOODY 'ELL HUNDRED INVITE IS OUT! BE THERE!

Belo News
July 18, 2018

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - Here is the invitation that every Minion waits for! Yep, it is time for the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred!

Don't forget to RSVP to Gazelle Girl by July 25!!! 

She needs a count!

RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE THIS COMING TUESDAY! IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

MINIONS ROCK THE TRIPLE-BY-PASS!

Belo News

Easty, Al (Minion Name to be Determined), Hockey Boy and Stryker Guy
at the finish! Congratulations on a great finish!

July 14, 2018
Report by Styker Guy:

Colorado - A few Shark Minions and one soon to be Shark Minion, rocked the Triple-By-Pass last week without the need of a by pass! Is this a great country or what?!?

Stryker Guy reported that the finale took place on July 14, 2018 with Eastie, Al Carpenter (not a minion...yet), Hockey Boy and Stryker Guy finishing the Triple By Pass along with 3500 other riders!

They finished in 12 hours (that was pretty good actually), riding 120 Miles with 12K of climbing!

Stryker Guy reported he and the team were absolutely wasted at the end but did manage to find a couple beers post ride! This is a great country!?!

Congratulations to these Minions! You did the Shark Minion Nation proud and we look forward to hearing all about it next Saturday!

SKITTLES TAKES SPRINT — THREE IN A ROW!  

Great turn out for Bissell Kit Day!

Do we call Him Wayne Gretzky or Mark Cavendish?

Gazelle Girl Goes Bottomless!  Is this a Great Country or What!?

Sharkman Gone Again???  Oh the Humanity!!!

SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
DON'T FORGET TO:

Cut and paste this into your browser now:  http://www.giordanakitbuilder.com/Minions to order your 30 Year Minion kit items by midnight on JULY 19!!! 

SEE INFORMATION BELOW! THERE IS A DEADLINE, MINIONS!

Belo News
July 7, 2018


Dawn Broke over Skittles’ Bouncy Castle House on a notably cool morning.  He rolled over to check the Skittlethermometer and was surprised to read Forty-Six Effing Degrees in his bedroom?!  He left the fan on all night!  Oh the Huge Manatee!!!

Our hero clicked in his cleats, fired up the Skittleputer mounted to his handlebar and took flight to the Minion Start wearing a jacket and leg warmers—What the What?  A Jacket in July?!  That’s Right Bunkie!  After having one of the hottest minion rides in history on Wednesday, it was now cold and dry on Saturday.

Pink Floyd! On Bissell Kit Day?
Oh, the humanity!

Skittles eventually caught up to a group containing Boys both Nike and Yeti along with another Minion, but had to pass up the opportunity to ride with them as he was in hot pursuit of an Egg McMuffin from the Galesburg McDonalds.

He ate his new found prize on the way to the start to find a group numbering perhaps twenty-five Minions.  New Minion Don, who will be known as SuperTrooper was joined by Several Minion Legends, including Stryker Guy, the aforementioned Nike Boy, Yeti Boy, Bissell Boy and Ironman making one of his final appearances before moving ‘Out West’…and that sweetest heart in of all cycling, Gazelle Girl with with Toe-Setter in tow (no pun intended) sporting the best beard in all of cycling.

Gazelle Girl started off the festivities with a well-needed and well-said lecture on cycling safety followed immediately by the sweetest sound in all of cycling, that of cleats clicking and tires rolling in the morning sun.

Skittles and another rider (how does Sharkman keep them all memorized?) led out the group to Sharkman’s ceremonial sprint.  This time the riders decided to ride there in silence Out of Respect.  Respect. (Editors Note: Thanks you Nation, Sharkman is humbled).

Riders strung out in several groups for the coveted M43 Sprint, Skittles taking the honor.  Maybe because he’s done a lot of miles this year but also maybe because he really had to pee.

He got done watering the local flora only to turn around to the following exchange:

Skittles taking the count!

Gazelle Girl: “Skittles how many cups of coffee do you drink, pre ride?”
Skittles: “I don’t drink coffee, why?”
GG: “Well, you’re always peeing”
Skittles:  “So do race horses”

Is this a great country or what?

Next up was the GGG-Spot Sprint but not without a scary moment when Virgin Minion SuperTrooper heard a very loud popping sound and thought something broke on his brand new, blazing orange and white Trek Boone.  The peleton all stopped because we leave no rider behind.  It was determined through painstaking forensic analysis that he actually hit a pot hole so hard his handlebar had rotated down!

Many men gave it their all to be the first to lead Gazelle Girl to the most coveted spot in cycling (or otherwise) the GGG-Spot, BUT, there is only one with the skills, timing and not to mention looks to get her there over and over again: Our own Skittles! Riders bore down on the World Famous GGG-Spot Sprint, Skittles led out Gazelle Girl who was nipped at the line by none other than former world famous country singer Lurlene!!!  She stuck out her tongue to just oh so closely edge out Gazelle Girl in a photo finish!  Reached for comment later they both claimed to have been completely satisfied, so it’s a win for human and amphibian alike.

The Nation gathers at the Klutch!

Ironman put in one of his typically massive pulls coming up to the Final Sprint Zone to lead out our intrepid group to the Final Sprint Zone.  Wishbone was in front of Skittles and wondered aloud when he would jump to full speed.  It was way too early for that kind of effort but Skittles said “screw it I’m going”, and sprinted ahead believing someone would take the bait and he could give a lead out.  To his absolute bewildering astonishment, nobody went with him!  Periodically during the run in to the finish he would hear freehub noise and thought “well that’s it, they’ve caught me”.  Only to realize it was some buzzing insect.

He kept checking behind and to his amazement, nobody was in fact coming through!  Would he win the most prestigious sprint in all of cycling by a huge gap?  Yes!

In fact, there was no actual sprinting involved as Skittles coasted across the finish line unperturbed!  So along with last weeks regular Minion Ride and the Special Fourth of July Minion Ride Wednesday, he is now winner of three consecutive Final Sprints!!!

Oh the Huge Manatee!

Brewman. Like "beer in a glass, he has class!"

Has this accomplishment ever been equalled?

High Yield and Dr Dave fought it out tooth and nail for second and third places, respectively.

Riders waved to the teaming throngs of fans and at least one squirrel whilst closing in on the Koffee Klutch.  Riders parked their bikes in the now hot sun.

Gazelle Girl walked up and ordered a “bottomless” because the whole world likes her better when she’s bottomless.

Is this a great country or what?

What will happen this week?  Will Skittles make it Four in a Row?

Will Gazelle Girl finally triumph over Lurlene’s tongue?

There is only one way to find out, Bunkie!

Thanks Skittles, for fantastic, riveting and ahemmm intersting commentary!

Stryker Guy also sent in this brief report and pointed out High Yield bought the koffee! Wow, there were a lot of Minions there! Thanks High Yield!

From Stryker Guys:

Pics from today’s ride 22 riders some of whom dropped off with 14 at the klutch.

The pace was “brisk” as Skittles won just about every sprint but was pressed by High Yield in the final sprint who bought the coffee btw!

Gazelle Girl issued an appropriate warning at the beginning of the ride that we needed to abide by the law and ride two abreast and close to the right as possible.

High Yield bought for this bunch?
This is a great country!

The proud citizens of Galesburg are complaining to Toe Setter that we are wreaking havoc with our riding. I also sent of Brewman who always deserves to be in the blog (old style Bells jersey) Tom Gerrit with the cool Pink Floyd jersey, Skittles buddy Don who won the most beautiful bike award and the guys paying homage to the Belle of the Peleton—GG.

For the record I pulled the group at least 200 yards maybe 210.

For the blog—there is a charity ride next Saturday (I know it conflicts) the Pedaling for pALS for the Susan Mast ALS Foundation.

There is also a Facebook page people can contribute if they can’t ride (25, 12, 6 mile rides).

I will be sending a special report to the Nation next week as Eastie and Hockey Boy (remember him?) and me are riding the Triple By Pass in Colorado!

Thanks for your report as well, Stryker Guy!

Sweet ride, Don!

You won't want to miss this Saturday's edition of the KK-TdG which will be Shark Minion Jersey Day!

In recognition of the Sharkman's return AND his son in laws will be riding, we all want to look good in our Minion Jersey kit!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!





JERSEY ORDER INFORMATION HERE!

Belo News
July 10, 2108

Shark Cove, Mi. - For those who weren't at the ride last week, you can now order you 30th Anniversary jersey and shorts (both bib or regular) on line! Yep, you heard that right Bunkie!

Here you go and remember, you need to do this before July 19 so don't put it off! Act now!