SHARKMAN TAKES THE SPRINT!!!

PROSTATES? WHO NEEDS THEM?

SHARKMAN BUYS KOFFEE?

SHARKMAN COMES THROUGH SURGERY WITH FLYING COLORS!

EARLY SPEED AT THE TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE!!!

Belo News

May 30, 2016

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright, but cool over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero was again trying to determine what to wear.

The Klan gathers for the start!

It was again, one of those mornings that would get warmer as the day wore on. At the same time, it was all somewhat bitter sweet for the old Shark as he knew this would be his last ride for at least 2 months! Oh, the humanity.

After launching from the Cove, Sharkman saw Nikeboy riding in, again wearing his signature orange and black. As the two riders hustled along Watkins lane, Reb rode up, followed by Mad Dog who had been riding since 6:30 a.m.

Nikeboy was looking good,
but needs to open his eyes!

The riders quickly realized that they again, had an east wind and were being pushed along at a pretty good clip!

As they approached the first Hill on Michigan Ave., Wildman rode up at the top of the hill, but did not venture down to meet the riders, but circled at the top. Mad Dog immediately pointed out his “wimpyness” for not riding down. Sharkman had quite an entourage as he rode into Galesburg. Reb had to head back, and Mad Dog stopped at the Klutch for his early espresso, but Nikeboy and Wildman rode on to the start with Sharkman.

There was again, a large number or riders getting their steeds ready for launch. It was also revealed that two of the virgin Minions from the previous week had obtained names! Scott the Younger is apparently known as Scottie Karate at the Team Active shop and Scott the Older was bestowed the name of Bluto! Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation!

Nikeboy, B-Rod and Gazelle Girl hold court.

Ironman rode in with his entourage of Dot-Dot-Dash and Wishbone to shouts of “Other Guy!” Meanwhile, Gazelle Girl made yet another early entrance. Some Minions were making their season debut, like Cheese, The Promise, and Tow Truck. Hossman was back, in shorts again, but did remember gloves this week! Meanwhile, it needs to be duly noted that Wishbone also rode the previous week in shorts and was back this week in shorts! What? Can't these guys afford some leg warmers?

These riders need to take a note from the Style Guy, Squeaky, who knows how to dress in cold weather! As an example, he was wearing enough cloths for 6 riders this past Saturday! Two different colored gloves, two stocking caps, a muffler, the man knows how to stay warm!

Cover Girl, Stryker Guy doing
his Super Shark Impression!

Cover Girl, Stryker Guy rode in wearing, what else? His Shark Minion Jersey! Looking like Superman, he simply pulled his jacket open to reveal one of the most coveted jersey's in all of cycling! Also the jersey he so faithfully wore in his cover shot!

It was going to be a great ride! All in all, 19 Minions showed up to start on Sharkman's memorial ride!

The Nation rolled pass the Koffee Klutch, waving to their fans in the early morning koffee group and then headed north. The chatter was moving along with the peloton as Boatman rode up, making his season appearance and the 19th rider.

Hossman and B-Rod and Bluto came to the front to lead out the Sharkman for the honorary first sprint and the ride was on!

Gazelle Girl making another early
appearance! 

As the sun warmed their backs, the Nation crossed G ave., climbed the cul de Twin lakes and headed past the Northville Church.

It was noted that the Skipper had not swept Kellogg Corner and the pace picked up in the Kountry Klub section on to Rt. 43.

At the top of the cul de Norte, some errant Minions did not wait as Sharkman yelled out to hold up.

Ironman (the Other Guy) rides in with
Dot-Dot-Dash and Wishbone in tow.

TIME FOR A CHALK TALK! THE NATION WAITS AT ALL STOP SIGNS AND AT THE TOP OF THE CUL DE NORTE. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A ROLLING STOP IN THE NATION! EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP, MOVE TO THE RIGHT AND WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO LATCH BACK ON. AND NO CIRCLING IN THE INTERSECTION PLEASE!

NUFF SAID!

With some riders rolling through the cul de Norte, the peloton was blown apart for the Holy Roller Section but all seemed to catch back on at the feed stop.

Tow Truck made his
season debut.

After the Digital Divide, a very nice double pace line formed up and Sharkman enjoyed sitting in and playing off the pace next to Wishbone. It was a beautiful day and as the train started moving up to 22 mph, Sharkman's heart rate was at a rate equivalent to a walk in the park! Who doesn't love a good pace line!

The pace line got Gazelle Girl into position and surrounded by Minions, she was able to capture, yet another, GGG Spot Sprint!

Sharkman led the nation at the G Ave. crossing and soon, Wildman, Mad Dog, Bluto and others came forward to take over. As B-Rod went by, he motioned to Sharkman to stay on, which made the old Shark suspicious. Though the speed was building, no one seemed to me making the break for the line.

Cheese made his season debut!

It was then that Sharkman heard someone say, “.....is he there?” and he began to realize what was happening.

As B-Rod lead the Shark on the outside, Nikeboy came around and Sharkman jumped on his wheel as the mighty Minion Nation descended to the finish! As the Stop Ahead Finish Line loomed just ahead, Nikeboy launched our intrepid hero out and as he hit a speed of 33.1 mph, the Sharkman took the finishing sprint! No, our hero wasn't going to dishonor the victory without some speed!

Remember, Belo News does not report sprint finishes until the middle of May....unless Sharkman wins!

Easty was looking good in his riding vest!

He immediately began thanking the Nation for the win and was utterly humbled by their gift of the victory.

As the Nation moved down the Champs le Galesburg, the fans went wild over the victory and their hero's!

At the Klutch, the old Shark pulled out his credit card from his dusty billfold and shouted, “The Koffee's on me!” Some mentioned they didn't even know Sharkman owned a billfold.....

Sharkman buying? Is this a great country or what!

The koffee flowed as Minions signed and presented a card to the Sharkman with the title “Prostate's....Who needs them!” This was followed by a rousing chorus of “For Your a Jolly Good Fellow!' It was a victory for America!

Hossman remembered gloves this
week, but was still in shorts!

In other business, a proposal was presented, that would change the name of Stryker Guy to Cover Girl. The Commissioner has taken the proposal under consideration and will report back to the Nation later.

It was a fantastic day in the neighborhood! It was with a big smile that our intrepid hero rode home, into that east wind, with his lead man, Mad Dog!

Though our hero is out for the next two months, the mighty Minion Nation will still ride!

This Saturday, May 7, 2016

Things were jumping at the Klutch at the post ride
Press conference!

The weather is supposed to get warmer, so the time will now start to move up.

Launch Time – 8:30 A.M. SHARP!

Be there!

Hoosier Boy stopped in to have
Koffee and sign Sharkman's card!

Even Toesetter stopped in on his motorcycle!

SHARKMAN COMES THROUGH SURGERY WITH FLYING COLORS!

Belo News

May 2, 2016

Ann Arbor, Mi. - Belo News is pleased to report that our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, came through his surgery just like he did Saturday's sprint! After the 3 hour procedure, the Doctor reported to Lava Girl that they did not find any cancer in the lymph nodes and it was a “textbook operations.” Sharkman was released the next day and is resting at the Cove, hoping to make it for koffee on Saturday!

EARLY SPEED AT THE TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE!!!

Belo News

May 3, 2016

Battle Creek, Mi. - Despite the fact that the Sharkman was not able to ride at the Tuesday Night Ride, the three Minions that did turned in an amazing early season time for the course! It was reported that Mad Dog, Wildman and Stingray turned in a 20.3 mph average for the ride.

This ride meets behind Arcadia at 5:30 p.m. On Tuesday nights and rides approximately 30 miles in a pace line. Come on out if you like to do speed work and work on your pace line!

REB ROCKS IT AT THE FORT CUSTER STAMPEDE!

Belo News

May 1, 2016

Fort Custer, Mi. - Only one Minion reported in from the Custer Stampede and he reported great results! Our own Reb, finished 5^th in the 50-59 age group. He also reported that Polar Bear finished 3^rd in his group. Reb also reported his success at bloodying his shin and riding off the trail several times and still finishing 5th! It has not been determined if he was more impressed with getting on the podium or getting a free pint of beer. However, knowing Reb, Belo News is pretty sure it was the pint of beer!

Great job Minions! You made the mighty Minion Nation proud!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.