Squeaky, Wishbone, Gazelle Girl, and Skittles
makes the

SQUEAKY TAKES THE COMBATIVE RIDER AWARD!

GAZELLE GIRL TAKES THE GGG SPOT!

SKITTLES TAKES BIGGEST SPRINT WIN OF HIS CAREER!

IS THIS REALLY MAY?

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

May 14, 2016

Skittles

When it's too hard for them, it's just right for us! - Marv Levy

Galesburg, Mi. - Our intrepid hero pulled up in the crisp, clean, miserably cold, windy-air!

Wait, 41degrees in May? Really?! He noticed no other Minion-looking automobiles in the parking lot. Hmmmmm.... Not good.

As usual, he changed clothes in his home away from home, even when it is at his home, you guessed it, THE van!

Eventually, Squeaky rolled up, then met with the meekest cheer of the year.....Gazelle Girl!

Gazelle Girl immediately pointed out, that since Mad Dog had falied to show up, SHE now leads in the standings for the Minion Season Attendance Record! That's right, Bunkie!

The pace through the first few miles was, ahem, “social.” Now, Skittles love him some social riding, but also didn't wan to be closing ino the col de Norte after dark, so he took the lead and uppped the pace to all of about 14 mph. Squeaky took the ceremonial first sprint, with no one to contest it.

Ironman put in a good pull past the Kountry Klub, Skittles hot on his wheel. A little too good as it turns out. The pair to observe they'd dropped the entire Nation! Oh, the humanity!

Then there was an honest-to-gosh sprint up the Col de Norte, with Skittles deanying Squeaky his second win of the day.

Sailing down towards the GGG Spot Sprint, Gazelle Girl shot around to the front, Squeaky on her left, giving 1000% to deny her rightful spot! Ironman gegan shouting out “Joan, Joan, Joan!!!” Energized by the sound of a man's voice moaning her name, Gazelle Girl exploded with the power of a thermonuclear warhead to take her rightful place as the Queen of the GGG Spot! DO NOT underestimate the poser of the GGG Spot!

Flying down the hill toward the Final Sprint Zone, Skittles shot out like a supersonic bullet from a gun. Sprinting with everything he had and even borrowed a little more to take a win so huge, no minion was even in sight!

Just kidding......The Nation discussed it, and decided to skip the Klutch and the last few miles to go hang at Gazelle Girls Triple Nasty Ranchero. Your humble author, having to get home to the kiddos, resumed the regular Minion course, solo......

Hopefullly, everyone will be back this week as the weather should be a bit better!

This Saturday, May 21, 2016

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - Sharp!

BE THERE!

From the Editor: 

Thanks again, Skittles, for a great write up! By the way, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, did go to the Klutch for Koffee but as you have read, the only rider he saw was Skittles riding by on his way back to his van! 

 But the Koffee was good!

By popular demand, the Commissioner of Cycling will move the launch time to 8:00 A.M. this weekend and it will remain at 8:00 A.M. until at least Labor Day.

Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, continues to improve and seems to be right on schedule for a major comeback in July some time, so stand by, Nation! The Sharkman shall return!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.