THEY CAME! THEY RODE! THEY KILLED! THEY HAD KOFFEE!
MINIONS
1, INDECISIVE CHIPMUNK 0!
FASTEST
KK-TdG OF THE YEAR!
COLLEGE
GAME DAY THIS SATURDAY!
MINIONS
ROCK AT “DANCES WITH DIRT!”
Belo
News
September
20, 2014
Shark
Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the
Sharkman
 |
| Boatman, late again, but still got in a photo! |
As
the Shark Coves garage door went up, there was no sign of life at the
Rain Cove, so Sharkman headed out and found Mad Dog pedaling madly to
get to Sharkman before he got too far ahead.
Both
riders talked about how great the weather looked and how good they
looked in their Minion Jerseys!
As
they approached the start, the parking lot was filling up with riders
and Sharkman reminisced about how in years past if there were 5-8
riders after Labor Day, it was a good turn out, but now he is
disappointed if there aren't at least 15 riders on a given Saturday.
Long
time Minion and occasional rider, Cycocross was back to ride.
Many
do not know the story, but Cycocross is the rider who coined the
name, “Minion Nation!”
That's
right folks! Years ago, at a Kalamazoo Bike Club Friday Night Tour
de Gull, our intrepid hero drove into the start when the start was
behind Billy's Bike Shop. As he pulled in, Cycocross started
shouting “All hail the Mighty Sharkman!” as other riders picked
up the chant! Though hard to believe, this was before our hero's
wide spread fame had been established and the riders that night became
his first “Mighty Nation!” All hail the mighty Sharkman!
 |
| Reb back for a second week! |
Returning
for a second week, and un-photographed this season, was Reb, who had
actually borrowed road tires for his cyclocross bike and would be in
the “thick of it this week!”
Welcome back Reb!
Welcome back Reb!
Easty,
Marco, Brewman, B-Rod, Cheese, Stroker, Polar Bear and Wildman and a late Styker
Guy, were also there in time for the start photo, as well as Gazelle
Girl who got her shout out as she rode into the start. Reb took the
photo as he does not have a Minion Jersey (what's up with that?).
And
Cycocross doesn't have a jersey either! Come on, you invented the name!
After
the photo, Boatman pulled in and Sharkman took a quick photo
of the late arriving rider, before the Nation headed out!
Wildman,
then Polar Bear then B-Rod, led our hero out to the first sprint and
after a count of 15 riders the Nation headed north to the col de
Twin Lakes and past the Yorkville Church.
In
a rare display of his cycling prowess, our hero, the Sharkman made a
big (yet rare) move in the Kountry Klub section.
As
usual, the pace picked up quickly as the Nation rounded Kellogg
Korner and headed past the Kountry Klub.
 |
| A gathering of "the Klan!" |
After
the turn to the Rt. 43 sprint, Cheese was putting in a humongous pull
at the front with our hero on his wheel. The pace picked up to
around 27 mph and Sharkman wondered who would come around the two
riders. When no one did, Sharkman pondered making a move but felt
some guilt that Cheese had pulled so hard for so long. “Ah, he's
young, he'll win a million sprints going forward!” Sharkman thought
as he made his move and took the sprint uncontested!
It
was a “Victory for America!” Sharkman thought as he thanked
Cheese for the “Hellasious” lead out!
 |
| Riders at the first G crossing! |
The
Nation headed out to the Col de Norte and B-Rod was talking about the
“great pace” the Nation was maintaining. As the Nation headed
towards the Zyckmaan Estate, it happened. Something that will go
down in the annals of Minion folklore for some time to come. Here,
in the words of the “Sweetheart of the Peloton” herself, is what
happened........
“I saw a chipmunk standing on the side of the road. He watched a couple bikes go by, in awe with how great the Nation looked in their Minion kit, then took a little step out into the road, then turned the other way, then turned back to the road, then turned the other way, then turned back to the road, then turned the other way, then turned back to the road and went for it. He got slammed by somebody's wheel immediately. His little bod was lifeless as I passed by. Poor fella. That was one highly weighed and very BAD decision.
A
metaphor for life, perhaps?”
Oh,
the humanity!
(Editors
note – Thank you Gazelle Girl for this very touching story......)
In
this same section, Gazelle Girl reported hearing a guy working at
someones home on Gull Lake who marveled, “It's a TEAM!”
He
was reported as looking VERY impressed (hey, who wouldn't be, right
Bunkie?!)!
 |
| B-Rod regales the nation...... |
After
grouping up at the Feed Station, formally Frona's and now known as
“the Queen Grille.” Uh, Queen's Grille.......O.K...... the Nation
headed south through the Inlet and past the Digital Divide.
It
was at the Digital Divide that Easty stated he would head back on his
own as he had a sour stomach and Sharkman wanted to insure he was
O.K., but he assured our hero he would get back on his own. (Easty
did arrive at the Klutch a few minutes late, but subsequent follow up
by Belo News revealed the legendary rider is feeling better and
should be back this week!)
 |
| "So, I made my move and won........ |
B-Rod
tried to get a pace line going and though everyone shouted “Nice
and easy, don't accelerate at the front,” the Nation struggled to
get an even pace going. Riders were too long at the front and the
acceleration caused surging in the pace line. However, the pace
continued to climb as the Nation came to Gazelle Girls GGG Spot
Sprint!
Once
again, the Nation honored their “Sweetheart” by leading her out
to the sprint, though they made her do most of the work at the front,
so to speak (Number 9 on the list? Belo News reports, you, the reader
decide!).
All
was set for the final assault on the finish.
The
Nation clung together as they headed for their finishing destiny,
each rider envisioning pulling off the win.
 |
| Reb stops for koffee! |
Sharkman
was concerned that the speed was up, the Nation was bunched, and the
Nation seemed do have “blood in their eyes!”
As
the Nation took the speed up on the final ascent before the finish,
they were still all full of blood lust as the chipmunk was fresh in
their collective memories!
On
the final descent, B-Rod, Wildman and Cycocross went to the front to
fight it out, with B-Rod dipping into his suitcase of courage and
nipping Wildman at the line with Cycocross right behind him!
 |
| A toast to a great season! |
A
nice, clean finish! Sharkman recorded 20.2 mph average while B-Rod
had 20.7 mph. Suffice it to say, it was this season's fastest KK-TdG
ride of the year!
The
crowds were subdued on the Champs le Galesburg as word of the dead
chipmunk began to circulate......
But
things were rocking at the Klutch!
Stryker
Guy bought the first few koffee's and since Sharkman is one of the
fastest ever people in line for koffee, he benefited from the
gracious act of kindness!
Wildman
told the story of how he loves his Minion Jersey so much, every time
he takes it out he points out to his his wife, the “Lovely Gwen”
how “detailed” it is. He thinks she has heard just about enough
about the jersey, but Sharkman suggested he buy one for her next
season! Is this a great country or what!
The
koffee was flowing as Sharkman lead the Nation in a toast to a great
season, of which there are only two weeks left before the Minions
head to the Fort to start training for Iceman! Oh, the humanity,
where did summer go?!?
But
there are two more rides left!
This
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Final
College Game Day Jersey Day!
Pull
out your favorite College Kit and come on out and ride!
Launch
Time – 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!
And
you won't want to miss the Season Road Finale!
Saturday,
October 4, 2014
The
“Sharkman Goes on Medicare Ride!”
 |
| Don't miss the "Sharkman goes on Medicare Ride!" |
That's
right, Sharkman goes on Medicare on October 1 and will be buying the
koffee and birthday cake at the Klutch! Is this a great country or
what!?
Come
out and ride the last road ride of the year and help Sharkman
celebrate his old age and the fact he is still riding! Oh, the
humanity!
Attire
for this momentous occasion, of course will be “Minion Jersey's!
You
won't want to miss this ride!
More
on the Fort Rides in future editions of “Your source for all you
cycling information, Belo News!”
Be
there Bunkie!
MINIONS
ROCK AT DANCES WITH DIRT!
Belo
News
.JPG) |
| Style Guy shown here wading thru a farm pond on his last leg. You go Squeaky! |
September
20, 2014
Waterloo
State Park, Mi. - It was “Dances with Dirt” Day near Chelsea this
past weekend and the nation was represented by a couple of legendary
Minions. Sharkman use to take part in this race and actually
competed in it the first 5 years of it's existence.
.JPG) |
| Hoosier Boy after taking 24th at Dances with Dirt! |
Hoosier
Boy and that Style Guy, Squeaky, were both in attendance and their
team finished 24th out of 300 plus teams after the
handicap system was used! This qualified them in the top 50 for a
prize!
Great
job Minions! You did the Nation proud!
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider
involved.
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