SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY – NEW LAUNCH TIME!

GET A COMMEMORATIVE PHOTO WITH SHARKMAN! OH, THE HUMANITY!

BEER ...WHAT DAY?!

B-Rod, Wildman, Brewman and Stryker Guy in
their Beer Jersey kit!

SHOULD SHARKMAN BE ON A MILK CARTON?

DEBBIE DARK MATTER UPDATE!

THE RETURN OF SHARKMAN & GAZELLE GIRL!


Belo News
September 6, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, your intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was packing up the Sharkmobile for a trip back to Chicago for a family function.

But the ride goes on!  And we have not one, but two reports from two legends of the peloton!

First, Easty gives a riveting review of Beer Jersey Day in the way only he can deliver a hard hitting story!  Second, legendary rider Stryker Guy reveals he can not only climb the mountains of the Tour de France, but can write like Hemingway!  Big thanks to both Minions for their outstanding work!

First, Easty!

BEER WHAT DAY!

In a potential revelation of reading comprehension amongst well educated adults we had 4...yes, FOUR riders show up in beer jerseys for today's ride. The story behind that story would reveal that those 4 riders represented fully 33% of today's minion nation so did we truly suffered from lack of comprehension, aftermath of last night's storm or (could it be?) a mass hangover?

Perhaps the arduous work of getting one's beer jersey prepped for the ride stimulated thoughts of sampling the product advertised and the Kool Aid overpowered the minions?

Not to be denied, the four horsemen (pictured below) B-Rod, Wildman, Brewman and Stryker Guy were on point and ready to prove that you can lead a minion to a beer jersey ride and make him drink (koffee) too.

FIELD of DEBRIS?

Westy, pre-broken spoke!

The beloved field of dreams was transformed by last night's storm into a "ménage la wood" as trees, branches and leaves transformed our raceway into a pseudo cyclo cross course. Stryker Guy and I were sharing funny (we were supremely confident about that aspect) stories about our cyclo experiences racing in "C" class with aspirations to move to "B" someday. (Actually SG had "inadvertently" moved up on one occasion and suffers from the memory of being yelled at to "move aside!")

Little did we know that today we would experience a "B" Rod version of "psyclo"cross as our very own speed frenzied minion "wood" not be denied by the chaos that confronted the minion nation. Charging forward like a high speed tracked vehicle (that would be a bulldozer), he was determined to maintain " minion speed" at all costs.

Post ride ceremonies at the Klutch would reveal a grumpy "we suck" from our super competitive speed freak as he revealed we were only able to achieve a 20.1 mph average in "what should have been a 21mph day at least." Gotta love those that push us to excel.....can you say Mad Max on a Cannondale?

ZICKMAN CONFUSED?

Someone tell Zickman that's a
Vodka Jersey?

Sporting a dazzling jersey with some dynamite socks, the venerable ZICKMAN seems to be confused about beer jersey day and vodka jersey day? Is SKY the generic (read cheap) version of SKYY?? Maybe they include a jersey with every bottle? Who knows.....but let's all hope he doesn't take up tequila.....I know what comes in that bottle.

LOST YOUR POWER OR GOT A STICK UP YOUR SPOKES, BUNKIE???

The perfect storm was not going to leave the minions unscathed as Westy incurred the first broken spoke award of the season after amazingly :-) encountering a stray branch on today's ride. The resulting rear wheel wobble and brake rub was spotted by Easty (that's me) as he fell back to pick up a faltering Westy at the end of the Kountry Klub section. Noticeably tired from pedaling with his brake on, the winded Westy was really beginning to question his two wheeled talents.

Some expert mechanical triage from Mad Dog and B Rod removed the snapped off spoke and enabled the wounded Cannondale and rider to limp homeward with one working brake and a noticeable "cha cha" in his hindquarters.

MINION JERSEY RIDE NEXT WEEK!!!!

Gazelle Girl made a glamor call and merchandise delivery in a post ride Klutch appearance as she

Catfish in the Fire Lane!

prepared and inspired the nation for the inaugural Minion Jersey ride. "Channeling" the great Sharkenator she challenged all minions to rise to the occasion and "blow it off the sprockets" next Saturday with a record turnout.

SPRINT WINNERS

From my seat, it is Consumers Power.....who sprinted to the rescue and returned power to the "House of the Rising Sun" (Easty ...get it?) in record time last night so no beauty sleep was lost prior to KK-TdG day!

As far as biking is concerned, the Zickman made several nice sprints and pulls along with B-Rod, Mad Dog, Brewman, a super fast Catfish and a Cheetah.

Cannot imagine how difficult this will be next week with everyone in the same jersey! Good luck Sharkman!!!


(Editor Note – Thanks Easty!  We know one thing for certain, the winner this Saturday will be in a Shark Minion Jersey! Well, unless some fast guy comes and spoils it for everyone.....)

Now from Styker Guy, who ponders the question everyone is asking:

WHERE'S SHARKMAN??

Yes, all are wondering where the elusive Sharkman is hiding and when he will return to the Mighty

Sasquatch looking over the competition!

Minion Nation. Rumors were flying around that people had seen Sharkman and Bissell Boy dragging Stryker Guy around the Barry Roubaix course, but no one could verify it.

The starting chute was a bit light with a handful of Minions discussing whether they'd seen Sharkman on a milk carton or on the back of a semi truck. When the peloton departed, 11 minions followed Minion Legend, Zickman to the starting line. Kid Doster and Cheetah joined the group as they headed toward the first sprint. The boys didn't seem too excited to see Cheetah knowing that the pace would pick up significantly (they weren't disappointed).

Catfish led the group out to the first sprint, but let his foot off the gas to allow Zickman to take it as a show of respect for the veteran Minion. The pace quickened going into the Col de Twin Lakes as B-Rod, in his trend setting black knee socks, moved to the front. Cheetah, Mad Dog and Catfish fought each other off to the sprint finish.

Stryker Guy on a real cross bike!

Wildman showed great form throughout and the rest of the pack (especially me) appreciated his willingness to get out in front since Wildman is one of the best drafts in the Nation. Easty and Westy were both in good form until Westy broke a spoke and had to take an early exit.

The Minions managed to dodge multiple twigs, sticks, branches, trees and each other from the Friday night storm.

As the Nation dodged the last tree coming to the final sprint it was apparent that B Rod was positioning himself to win the Green Jersey. The usual chaos emerged and it appeared from my position well back from the finish, that Catfish nipped the big man at the wire. (note: Cheetah had departed early.)

Gazelle Girl on her Go to Grocery Bike, greeted the Nation at the Klutch, sporting cool Yoga/Bike wear. Good news is that she is riding and ready to rejoin her beloved minions soon.

Guest Columnist Easty prepping for
"Z" Class Cyclocross race!

Respectfully submitted by Stryker Guy.

(Editors Note – Big thanks to both Easty and Stryker Guy for this weeks great write up!















BE A PART OF THE FIRST SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!

GET A COMMEMORATIVE PHOTO WITH SHARKMAN!

SHARKMAN AND GAZELLE GIRL RETURN!

NEW LAUNCH TIME! NEW LAUNCH TIME! NEW LAUNCH TIME!

Belo News
September 10, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - The day that every Minion has waited for is finally here!  For years, the mighty Minion Nation talked about getting Official “Shark Minion” Jerseys but never got around to it.  But that changed when Gazelle Girl and Zickman decided it was time to act!  And act they did!
Somewhere north of 55 jersey's were sold and now the Nation awaits the start of Saturday's ride to show them off to the world!

A special thanks to Gazelle Girl and Zickman for the great design work and to Gazelle Girl for taking care of all the orders and insuring delivery!  Great job Minions!

You won't want to miss this incredible event and especially to be in the first ever photo at the start! Yes, you heard that right, Bunkie!  Easty has graciously arranged a photographer to not only get the start photo, but each Minions will have an opportunity to have their photo taken with the Sharkman hizzelf!

Oh, the humanity! Is this a great country or what?!?

In addition, the “Sweetheart of the Peloton,” Gazelle Girl makes her return!

Can this get any better Bunkie?

Who knows, maybe Debbie Dark Matter will make an appearance!

After all, at the end of the day, don't you want to be able to tell your grand children that you were there on the day the mighty Minion Nation jersey made it's debut!  There will be a photo to prove it, so this isn't like the seventh game of a memorable World Series where two million people tell you they were there in a stadium that only holds 50,000 people! No, you will have photo evidence!

Don't even think about not being on one of the best rides of the year, Bunkie!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

THE FIRST EVER SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!

Because of the light AND more importantly the fact it will be in the low 40's on Friday night,
Launch time is 8:30 A.M. - SHARP! (This will also give Gazelle Girl time to get to the start! :-)).

Don't miss this historic day, Bunkie!

DEBBIE DARK MATTER UPDATE!

Belo News
September 10, 2014

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - The final installment of Debbie Dark Matter grows up.

Gazelle Girl and Toesetter make an announcement!

FALL SCHEDULE POSTED!

Belo News
September 10, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - So take a look a the upcoming fall schedule:

Saturday, September 13, 2014 – Shark Minion Jersey Day! Oh, the humanity!

Saturday, September 20, 2014 – One more College Game Day!

Saturday, September 27, 2014 – Retro Jersey Day!

Saturday, October 4, 2014 – Sharkman Goes on Medicare Day! Oh, the humanity!  Shark Minions Jersey's will be in order as Sharkman supplies the birthday cake!

So mark your calendars Minions before we head into Mountain Bike season!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.