TOUR DE SHARK HUGE SUCCESS!

Celebrity Rider Nicole Mouton with her Dad, the Sharkman!

SHARKLET'S LOOSE IN THE KLUTCH?!?

"IT WAS LIKE OLD HOME WEEK!"

DOUBLE HEADER WEEKEND COMING UP!

TWO SPECIAL JERSEY DAYS THIS WEEKEND!

Belo News

June 29, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - It was like "old home week" in the peloton this past Saturday, as the mighty Minion Nation took a time out from their usual "Field of Dreams" due to the Gull Lake Triathlon and headed south on what has now come to be known as "the Sharkman's Guided Tour of the Greater Scott's Area!" or "the Tour de Shark!" for short.

Cheddarhead returns to the Nation!

Billed as a "leisurely ride" a bunch of Minions that have not been out in a while boosted the total attendance to 25 riders as the Nation gathered at the start line.  Both Stroker and Cheddarhead were making their season debuts and it was good to have All Black, Kid Doster, Stingray and the Skipper back in the mix!

The chatter at the start was warmed by the great weather and so many Minions making it back for the ride.  Minions who hadn't seen each other for a while were enjoying the conversation, giving the paparazzi interviews and photo ops, and catching up on all the Minion news as start time approached. 

Hoosier Boy rolled in wearing a new Indiana Hoosiers jersey and sporting his coffee, only this time from McDonalds and not Starbucks.  Regular readers of Belo News know that Hoosier Boy is legendary for pulling in with a Starbucks in his bottle cage but has yet to acknowledge what Starbucks drive through he is using to getting his jolt of joe.  When asked "Why the McDonald's coffee this morning?" he stated that his wife didn't get up early enough!  

What?  Wife?

Stroker returns and hears about Hoosier Boys coffee!

His wife is getting his Starbucks for him?  Is this a great country or what?  Well, at least for Hoosier Boy! 

As the clock struck 8:00 A.M. - SHARP - Sharkman broke the chatter by introducing this weeks Celebrity Rider, Sharkman's own daughter and "Little Five" veteran, Nicole Moulton who had been training just to do her first "Official" Minion ride with the Nation.  Though the young lady had ridden countless miles with the old Shark, she had not ridden with the Nation since the move to the KK-TdG 7 seasons ago.  She had, of course, heard all about it from her husband, the Great Moultini and her brother-in-law, MK, and of course, Belo News, but had yet to experience the ambiance of this legendary ride first hand!  

Oh, the humanity!  But she was in attendance on this great morning and came ready to ride thanks to Tardette lending her the outstanding Trek she was riding!

All Black back in the Nation!

Thanks Tardette!

After general introductions and a reminder that the pace would be more "leisurely," the Skipper started things off with "Let's get started!" and the sound of pedals "clicking in" (music to any Minion's ears) could be heard throughout Galesburg.

As the Skipper led the 24 Minions out on to the course they quickly greeted Gazelle Girl with their usual shout out!  Gazelle Girl was again making her late arrival so that she could get her name in Belo News.  Clever Minion……now they were 25!

Meanwhile, Sharkman was very glad that he did not have to work hard and defend his "Honorary Sprint" as Skipper led the Nation to the first and only major hill of the ride, the "QMan Climb" made legendary by a battle between QMan and Wolf King several years earlier.

Sharkman was also pleased with the fact he was the only rider who knew the course and would be in complete control of the pace for the day!  Oh, the humanity!  Is this a great country or what?!?

Airman, Mad Dog & Stingray discuss ride strategy.

Though the southern route had been taken before, most of the Nation is not familiar with the course that Sharkman has been riding since 1988 when he formed the first ride called, then called the "Tour de Bill."

Sharkman saw this as an opportunity to point out historic sites and points of interest to the Minions who were in rapt attention to all our hero had to say! One Minion commented that the Sharkman should have a megaphone taped to his mouth!  Or did he just say "tape his mouth….!"

First up was the Waterfall he has talked about, near the Weavers Farm where they teach third world farmers how to use Oxen for farming!  Sharkman shouted out "Take a good look, Waterfall on the right, $.50, no change!" as they rolled by.  This was followed by "the Cook Cemetery on the right! $.50, no change!" and "the Railroad Museum! $.50, no change!" and so on and so on……

Sharkman was sure he was getting richer as the ride went on and was heard to say, "where else can you get this kind of tour and for only $.50 per site?!?"

Nicole, Beck, Lily & Lava Girl enjoy the Klutch!

Riders were quickly looking the other way whenever they saw Sharkman moving up and down the peloton……..

The riders were also treated to Scott Mill and a tour of downtown Scotts that included a view of Scooter's Malt Shop and the Scott's Corner Cafe, which was packed with race fans!  Why else would a Cafe in the middle of Scotts be busy other than to watch the Nation ride by? 

Oh, what a tour!

As the riders returned to 38th Street, just north and east of the thriving metropolis of Scotts, Sharkman informed the peloton that before them was the road home, which would be mostly down hill and it was every Minion for themselves!  The old Shark new there were some Minions itching to let it all out!

However, the camaraderie seemed to keep the Nation together….at least for a while.  After all, Minions will be Minions…..

After the stop sign at MN, it was all down hill and Hoosier Boy, feeling the weight of wearing that Hoosier Jersey and feeling the effects of all that caffeine, went to the front along with Sharkman and started to pull!  After, what probably seemed to Hoosier Boy a very long time wondering where the finish was, the peloton started to jockey for position.  First Tow Truck, then Hossman, B-Rod, Zickman, Bissell Boy, Brewman and a cast of thousands  began to make their moves to get into position.  

Beck, future KK-TdG Minion!

But it seemed to be the same for everyone, since no one seemed to remember how far it was down the hill riders kept attacking and then realized that they were some distance from the finish line AND there was a right hand bend before the stop ahead sign!

Where was that finish?

As the Minion Train bore down on the final sprint, speeds were hitting 37 + mph and Falcon went to the front with Tow Truck and B-Rod in pursuit.  The three battled it out to the end, rounding the final bend and finishing in that order in this unofficial, "leisurely Tour of Scotts!"

Interestingly, though billed as a "leisurely" ride, Sharkman had 19 mph ride average on his computer, which he started at the start of the ride, and B-Rod had 20 mph and started at the start of QMan Hill. 

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's returned, zipping up their jersey's for the sponsors and waving to their adoring fans.

Special cheers went up as the fans watched the celebrity rider, Nicole Moulton roll by next to her Dad talking about what a great time she had on her first Minion Ride! They were both stopped on several occasions to sign autographs and to allow the fans to take photos of the legendary Father/Daughter riders.

The ambience of the ride continued with a large number of Minions stopping at the Klutch for Luann's hospitality, actually taking up 3 tables, squeezing out the paparazzi!  Bikes were piled high outside the Klutch as the line and chatter inside grew as well.

Sharkman & Nicole enjoying some "Sharkies!"

The Skipper anted up for koffee for Sharkman AND for daughter Nicole!  What a great guy!

Gazelle Girl was taking orders for the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jersey like a one armed short order cook at a greasy spoon grill with the Wolf King waiting in line!  Or like poor Luann trying to satisfy the koffee needs of a thirsty Nation!

Lava Girl also rolled in with Nicole's Sharklets, Lily and Beck, to the delight of the Nation, to enjoy the festivites and Sharkman savored the moment as he reflected on how lucky he is to have the mighty Minion Nation to ride and share his beautiful family with!

Is this a great country or what?!?

So you won't want to miss this weeks "Double Header!"  

Yes, like Ernie Banks used to say, "Let's play two!"

DOUBLE HEADER WEEKEND AHEAD!

SPECIAL JERSEY DAYS!

Belo News

July 1, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - Several Minions asked about a 4th of July Ride and by popular demand, the Nation get's what they want!

Get your your Red, White and Blue kit for a 4th of July special edition of the KK-TdG!

The Klutch won't be open, but riders will probably want to get back to their families for the holiday anyway, or some can stop at McDonalds like Hoosier Boy does before the ride.  So come on out and ride with the Nation!

Thursday, July 4th!

Launch Time 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Saturday, July 6th!

In celebration of the All American Weekend, what better way to show Minion love than to have "Beer Jersey Day!"

That's right, Bunkie!  Get out your favorite beer jersey for the Saturday ride!

Launch Time 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

DON'T WAIT TO ORDER YOUR 'BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY!

PIRATE AND AIRMAN FIGHT TO PHOTO FINISH!

Was it the Sharkies?  Oh, yeah!

SHARKMAN TAKES THIRD!  

WAS IT THE SHARKIES?

GAZELLE GIRL GETS THE GGG SPOT!

SOUTHERN ROUTE THIS WEEKEND!

Belo News

June 22, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - As dawn broke warm over the Shark Cove, the street was bustling with activity as the Sharkman launched to find both Mad Dog and the ever accessorized, Nike Boy riding in to greet him. Mad Dog commented that he thought it was the first morning that they had made the trip over without needing rain jackets or arm warmers.  Yes, it was one of those classic summer mornings with little wind, lot's of sun and a good road filled with Minions ahead.

Nike Boy, styling.......

The riders discussed the great Rapha kit that Nike Boy was wearing and whether or not he was trying to take the "Style Guys" job from him?  Nike Boy was looking good!

As they arrived a bit early to the start, they saw Brewman ride in and shortly after, Hoosier Boy sporting a new helmet and having his ever present Starbucks mounted in his bottle cage.  Though he has been questioned on where he picks up that Starbucks he has yet to acknowledge the location.

A couple of riders that have not been seen in a while started to arrive.  Peugeot Guy, one of the early Minions, was making his season debut to the cheers of his waiting public and Hutch was back after a kids soccer hiatus. Ox pulled in solo, without his usual entourage from the east side of Gull Lake and Zickman rode in with the usual throngs wanting to see his "woody."  To every ones surprise, the Pirate rode in, fresh in from Spain and before heading out to Belgium.  He was again putting on his Bissell Boy imitation for the crowd.

Airman had ridden in from home, followed by Falcon who was sporting his Lumberjack 100 jersey,

The return of Peugeot Guy!

looking like a northern lumberjack and Sasquatch was right behind him.  Stryker guy and Ranger Rick also pulled in and Polar Bear rolled in sporting his new Polar Bear jersey! It seemed that everyone was on time for a SHARP launch and with 1 minute to 8:00 a.m. they decided to launch early!

YES, game on!

As the train headed through town, the Klutch Krowd waved as the Nation rode by and headed north.

Gazelle Girl jumped on to her usual greeting and Ranger Rick took Sharkman out to the first sprint with the Falcon making a weak attempt to become personna non grata, but thinking better of it, he just got dusted by the old Shark.

Sharkman pulled aside to get the count and thought it was 17 as the Nation crossed G Ave.  Belo News hates to forget to mention any riders but when the count gets that high (anything over 15 is considered high), all bet's are off on getting ones name in print. Well, unless you buy Sharkman his koffee or lead him out to his sprint.  

Belo News apologizes for any riders left off this weeks listing…..

As the Nation climbed the col de Twin Lakes, Sharkman and Zickman took an early, but it was a short lived lead as the peloton was not to be caught napping on this gorgeous morning.

Hoosier Boy & his new helmet!

As the riders crossed Rt. 89 and started east towards the col de No Name, a shout of "Mechanical!" was heard from the back of the peloton.  The Nation stopped to learn that Hoosier Boy had a flat tire on his front wheel.  As Airman attempted to help, the Nation was attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes, some wearing leather jackets and carrying switchblade knifes!  One mosquito was reported as having a patch over one eye!  One tough bunch of bugs!

Sharkman took this opportunity to down a couple of Sharkies (see story below) and shared a few with Falcon and Gazelle Girl.

Several riders moved to the other side of the road, away from the woods as Hoosier Boy wasn't breaking any speed records for fixing that tire.  As a matter of fact, it was taking so long that Falcon asked it if was Wolf King doing the repairing!  Sharkman commented that it couldn't be Wolf King as no one had cut their hand yet in the act of fixing the flat tire while taking so long!

After a puff of CO2, the clink of tire irons going back into the took kit and the tire was repaired, the Nation got going again and attacked the Kountry Klub section with a vengeance.  A massive group sprint took place at the Stop Ahead before Rt. 43, so massive, it was difficult to learn who took the sprint!

As the peloton crested the col de Norte, everyone was on and the riders kept going with an informal pace line.  Ox dropped off  to head for home before the Holy Rollers and as the Nation pulled up to Frona's, they did a quick count before heading home.

Zickman showing off his "woody" again....

After the Digital Divide, the Nation formed up nicely into an efficient pace line and as they approached the GGG Spot, Gazelle Girl, surrounded by a number of "henchmen" moved to get her into place for the sprint.  This plan worked well, as she was able to fight off a several of attempts to reach the GGG Spot before she could achieve it, but the victory was hers! Shouts of, "It was a victory for America!" were heard throughout the GGG Spot and the Minion Nation! 

With no Hossman or Tow Truck around, the old Shark was a bit worried about a mass sprint finish, however, Ranger Rick went to the front and threw himself on his sword as he took the Nation out fast.  After a valiant effort, Hoosier Boy took over and then Polar Bear to the front to put the hammer down.

As the Nation got to the summit of the final climb and began the ascent, it was any ones race!  The Nation did a great job holding their lines and maintain sanity in the final stretch!

Hutch returns from Kid Duty!

Airman made his final move to break from the pack, but the Pirate was laying in wait and latched on with Sharkman nipping at their wheels.  Airman and Pirate fought it out hard and in the press conference later, Sharkman commented that he thought he might actually be able to go around them as they battled.  However, the Pirate put on a surge to catch Airman, dropping the old Shark and though Airman claimed Pirate got the sprint (being the class act that he is) the Sharkman verified it was too close to call and both were awarded the victory with Sharkman filling out the podium!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as Gazelle Girl and Sharkman led the peloton past the paparazzi and tofosi lining the boulevard!

Actually, Gazelle Girl and Sharkman won the final sprint to the Koffee Klutch and found it open this week!  A big cheer was heard around Galesburg as the hero's scrambled into the Klutch and Zickman bought Sharkman koffee for the second time this year!

The discussion quickly turned to the 'Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jerseys and the orders started to pour in. 

Falcon & his Lumberjack jersey....

Some questioned the difference between the "European Cut" sizing versus the "Pro Cut" sizing.  Sharkman cleared it up by stating that European Cut meant smaller, while Pro Cut meant normal, American size.  After all, they couldn't say, "European Cut" and "Fat American Cut" could they? Oh, the humanity!

Speaking of those jerseys, time is running out so get yours quickly!

Sharkman felt great on the ride home with Mad Dog and began wondering what was in those Sharkies!  See story below!

This Saturday, June 29, 2013

Due to the Gull Lake Triathlon, the Nation will be doing a leisurely southern route.  So it will be important for riders to be at the start!

The Pirate reporting(& winning) from....Galesburg?

For those of you who haven't been out because you are feeling slow, this is the ride for you!  Come on out and ride yourself back into shape with this easy ride south of Galesburg!  See a waterfall and an old Mill!  

Special Celebrity Rider, Sharkman's Daughter, Nicole will also be riding!

For those Minions doing the Triathlon, make the Nation proud!

Launch time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

NOT MUCH TIME LEFT TO ORDER YOUR BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED JERSEY, BUNKIE! 

DEADLINE JULY 1 - THIS MONDAY!

GET MOVING!

Belo News
June 26, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Hey Bunkie, better get moving if you want to order your official Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Jersey!  Even if you are not riding the ride, you will want one of these babies, so don't wait.  The deadline is this Monday, July 1, 2013!  Anyone who is anyone will be wearing this baby and there will of course be Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jersey days along with College Game Day, Tony the Tiger, Beer, Bissell, WAM, etc. Jersey Days so don't be left out!

The sizing chart was attached to the Shark Minion Update but if you have any questions, get a hold of Gazelle Girl NOW and order your jersey and if you are riding, make your reservation.

Get a hold of Gazelle Girl now at;

joan.o@comcast.net

These things are going like Doritos from Wolf Kings grubby hand so get your Minion Butt moving now!

WAS IT THE SHARKIES?

Belo News

Sharkman downing Sharkies at the Klutch!

June 22, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - There was a buzz in the peloton last week with the Sharkman's impressive third place finish.  Even more so after he got shot out the back in the Kountry Klub section a couple of weeks ago yet came back to place fourth on that ride.  What could be giving this Shark all the energy?  Well, as previously reported, Sharkman got a stash of "Sharkies" from their PR group and he has been munching on these all natural "sharkies" ever since!  He stated he felt like he was "flying" this past Saturday as he motored home with Mad Dog.

However, this clearly begs the question, "if he is eating Sharkies, doesn't it seem a bit cannabalistic?"  Sharkman's reply to this conundrum was simply, "who cares if I go fast!"

These organic little babies seemed to quickly deliver energy and fuel to meet his demanding shark body!

We aren't sure if they made our hero any faster, but he thinks so!

MMMMmmmm......Sharkies!

We think Sharkies has a new spokesperson! Or should we say "spokessharkperson?"

Big thanks to Julie Atherton from JAM Media Collective and the folks at Sharkies for the samples!

Is this a great country or what?!?

TOUR DE TAYLOR HUGE SUCCESS!

Polar Bear Family does the TdT!

MINIONS RIDE BUT FEW PHOTOS! OH, THE HUMANITY!

KK-TdG BACK THIS SATURDAY!

MORE TO COME ON BLOODY 'UNDRED IN AUGUST!

Belo News

June 15, 2013

Mattawan, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our hero was getting ready to head over to Chicago with Lava Girl and his sharklets for a family event.

Meanwhile, the mighty Minion Nation was getting ready to ride the Tour de Taylor under the guidance of the legendary B-Rod and his faithful companion and writer of the attached story, Brewman!

Brewman writes…..

B-Rod, Zickman and Brewman met up bright and early Saturday morning to ride the Tour De Taylor. They did not see any other Minions so they launched at 7:30 sharp to ride the 62 mile course. It started off fast and never slowed down, ending the ride with a 19mph average. Zickman and Brewman teamed up at a sag stop and played Cash Car. They choose to answer one difficult question and nailed it! (after a few hints). Both did come away $5 richer. Returning to their bikes, Zickman was swarmed by females wanting to take a picture of his woody, all commenting on how wonderful it was.

It was a beautiful course and day and all for a great cause. A fine lunch was enjoyed at the end of the ride before returning home.

We did meet up with Stingray and Airman at lunch and were sad that we did not all ride together, it would have been wild!

Brewman

(Editors note - Great write up and thanks for sparing us a photo of the women swarming to see Zickman’s “Woody!”)

Belo News also heard from our own Polar Bear who was celebrating his 21st Birthday! 

Polar Bear writes……

Thought you might like some material for this weeks blog so here's a picture from this weekend at Tour de Taylor. I'm sporting my nifty new Polar Bear jersey that I received as a present for recently reaching my half century (which in Polar Bear years equals 21 by the way).

It was a fun mornings ride with Baby Bear and Mummy Bear.

PB

(Editors note - Belo News could not verify the accuracy of that birthday but we'll take Polar Bears word for it!)

The final report comes to us from ride organizer and legendary Minion, the Iceman hizzelf!

Iceman writes…….

Tour de Taylor, presented by Maple Hill Auto Group rocked the house!  That is after we made it through the huge registration line that began forming up at 6:30am!  We got backed up a little bit, but never fear, we stayed on it like Sharkman stays on someone else's wheel and managed to get everyone off and riding.  The weather was beautiful, slighly overcast, little to no wind, and around 65 degrees early in the day. 

We had riders from  the east side of the state, from Traverse city area, and even from Florida who all came to tame one of the three beautiful courses that are the Tour de Taylor.  Almost 400 riders pushed off from the starting line, spaced out in comfortable intervals as they were waiting for friends and family to join them.  

Icman  was so busy working that he didn't take one picture for the Belonews.  Hopefully some of  the Minion Nation who rode the 62 mile route can submit a photo or two.  Zickman was there showing off his wooden steed to the local bike shop guys, with that wicked smile of "yea this is a pretty cool ride, isn't it?"  B-Rod, Brewman, Nick Head, Kiapet, DPS, among others (sorry if I missed you, it was a whirlwind day for me) in the Nation enjoyed a great day on the bikes and then filled their bellies on a great picnic lunch of hot dogs on the grill, summer pasta salad and enough salty chips to feed an army. (who needs chips? they are at Iceman's house!!)

With great tunes blasting the air in the Tour De Taylor tent city courtyard, Tour Co-Director Mo-Pink was quoted in the press early in the predawn morning during last minute panics, "where the F is Iceman?"  To which Minion and TdT manager Skylark, responded, "out getting donuts".  To which the group could only sigh and shake their collective heads,  " well that figures".   Just part of the behind the scenes action at TdT!    And guess what,  Iceman shows up with no donuts....nothing was open until 7:00am!!  Luckily DPS' better half was able to procure some much needed Krispy Kreme fuel for the hard working crew of the TdT upon her arrival later on.

The Custom Chiropractic massage tables,  MSU spirit zone, Consumers Credit Union Cash Car, Pedal Bicycle repair center, Asiago's lunch, and of course the amazing volunteers at the Rest Stops from Wells Fargo and Consumers Credit Union were all a beautiful piece of teamwork to pull off an amazing Second Annual Tour de Taylor.   Oh yea, and the TdT  Tshirts were so popular we may set up an online store for apparel purchase. 

TdT puts out a huge shout out to Sharkman for his inclusion and marketing of our ride in the Belonews. 

Thank you to all who made the trek over to ride with us.

Our ride should generate around a $10,000 donation to Make A Wish!

It's for the kids and families...

Ride on!

Iceman

(Editors note - Great job Iceman and great ride!  Sharkman hopes to be there next year!)

MINIONS BACK TO KK-TDG THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

June 22, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Things get back to normal this weekend when the mighty Minion Nation get's back to their beloved "Field of Dreams," the KK-TdG!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

NEWS ON THE "BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED" COMING SOON!

Belo News

June 19, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Anyone who is anyone in cycling has been asking "what about the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred?"  

Well, the Party Planning Team of Gazelle Girl and Zickman are at it again, devising a plan for the 2nd Annual Bloody 'Ell 'Undred.  Watch for a special email containing ride details AND information on a  spectacular Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jersey! Oh, the humanity!

B-ROD TAKES IT ALL!

B-Rod takes the tape!

MINIONS STOP FOR GARAGE SALES?

SKIPPER STARTS SECOND HALF OF RIDE!?!

KLUTCH KLOSED? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

TOUR DE TAYLOR THIS WEEKEND!

BLOODY 'UNDRED IN JERSEY?

Belo News

June 8, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our hero was getting ready to ride despite the fact he had just returned from foreign travel and wasn't sure what time zone he was in!  The old Shark did wonder about who would be in attendance this week, as the KK-TdG was competing against the Michigan Mountain Madness Ride, the M22 Challenge, as well as the Kalamazoo Mud Run.  Yeah, go figure….

Sharkman ready to ride!

Anyway, Mad Dog showed up on time and though the duo were decked out in arm warmers, the morning promised to warm up as the ride went on.

As the two arrived at the start, they were greeted by B-Rod and new Minion Dave!  Welcome to the Nation Dave!

Soon, Toast, Falcon, Bissell Boy, Sasquatch, Tow Truck and Chico joined the Nation for the start.

As the train pulled out of the station, Boatman joined on making it 11 riders on this fine, sunny day.

As the Nation went past the Klutch, Luann wasn't at her post, but the regular group gave a big wave to the peloton as they streamed by.

As the Nation headed up 36th Street, and after the ceremonial shout out to Gazelle Girl, the Nation

New Minion Dave!

broke out in a slightly rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday" in celebration of Gazelle Girls birthday on June 9!  The term "slightly rousing" was due to the fact that Gazelle Girl approached on a hill and the Nation learned how hard it is to power up a hill while singing "Happy Birthday!"  Despite the strained effort, Gazelle Girl seemed pleased with the abnormal greeting and joined on as the Nation headed to the Shark's ceremonial first sprint.

Mad Dog and Sasquatch led our hero out, with Mad Dog moving aside as our hero grabbed the sprint and then stopped at G to take the count of 12 riders.

Whether it was the cool, sunny weather, or a smaller turn out of the Nation, the peloton seemed particularly frisky as they scrambled up the col de Twin Lakes and on past the High School.

As is tradition, the speed picked at the Yorkville Church with Tow Truck jumping out in front and taking Chico and Sharkman with him.  However, as the peloton picked up the pace, the old Shark started feeling like he was in that other time zone and got blasted out the back near the Kountry Klub, reminding him of how difficult it can be to catch back on to the Nation once one has lost that last wheel of the peloton!

Being the good Minions they are, the peloton waited for their hero at Rt. 43 and again took off.  The group was riding so well, there was no stop at the top of the col de Norte, but someone did mention stopping at the Zickman Estate, as he was having a garage sale and would certainly have a Beer Tent for the shoppers. Surely.......

$2.00! Are you crazy?

Moments later, the Nation rolled into the Zickman Estate, but no Beer Tent!  Oh, the humanity!

After pursuing the merchandise, and with Zickman giving his best sales pitch to get the Shark to buy a club cover, the Nation headed back to the KK-TdG.

As the Nation finished the Holy Rollers, none other than the Skipper appeared stating he had overslept and decided to come up the east side of the lake to catch the peloton.  In honor of his return, he was asked to start the peloton off from Frona's, which he did with his usual aplomb!

Sharkman, feeling much better, took a lead out from B-Rod and when he saw Falcon moving up in his rearview mirror, kicked it up just enough to edge the cagey Falcon for the Inlet sprint.

An excellent pace line formed up after the digital divide with Tow Truck again taking a huge pull at the front and the Nation following in hot pursuit.  As the runaway train bore down on the GGG Spot, Birthday Girl started to get in position but was stopped by the surging Sasquatch, unaware of her attempt to win back her coveted sprint.

Skipper wasn't late for coffee!

As the final assault formed up after the GGG Spot, Tow Truck again went to the front and pounded all the way to the final ascent. It was a humongous pull!

The entire peloton was formed up to pounce on the finish and stayed pretty much together, playing right into the hands of the sprinters.

B-Rod, waiting till the last second, outlasted a final attempt by Falcon, taking him by half a wheel, while Sharkman edged out Toast to take the third spot on the podium.

This was the fastest ride of the year at 20.1 mph average!

As the riders headed down the Champs le Galesburg, zipping up their jersey's for the sponsors, they could almost taste their reward of Klutch Koffee.  So imagine their surprise to pull up to their favorite watering hole to find a sign on the door that said they were closed to go to a High School Graduation!  Oh, the humanity!

Toast & B-Rod take a look at a jersey design!

Dejected, the Nation headed across the street to the diner and found a friendly waitress with Sweetwater Coffee!

While the Nation sipped their well deserved coffee, Hoosier Boy walked in to sign autographs and report that he and Squeaky, aka Style Guy, had kicked some butt at the Kazoo Mud Race! Is this a great country or what!?!

Hoosier Boy post Mud Run!

After the coffee was finished and Sharkman reminded everyone that there would be no KK-TdG next week so the Nation could ride the Tour de Taylor Ride, he headed back to the Cove with Mad Dog.

When our hero got home, there was a special package waiting for him from the Mail Carrier.  What could it be, our readers might ask…..

The PR Staff at Sharkies, "clean fuel to burn!" had sent him a number of assorted sample flavors of Sharkie energy fruit chews and wrote "We would love some feedback from your 'Minions!'"

Whoa, the Nation has become famous!  

Could the Sharkman's son in law have something to do with this?

So get ready Nation, Sharkman has some Sharkies for the Nation to try out at the next KK-TdG which will be on Saturday, June 22, 2013!

TOUR DE TAYLOR THIS SATURDAY

B-ROD TO START MINIONS AT 7:30 A.M. - SHARP!

Belo News

June 12, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Last year was the inaugural of the Tour de Taylor ride and several Minions, including Sharkman and Lava Girl took part.  This is a fund raiser for Team Taylor and their quest to raise funds for the Make a Wish Foundation and the WAM ride coming up in July.  Many of the Nation are also members of Team Taylor and our own Sharkman has ridden with the team on the WAM three times.

Because of the close relationship of the mighty Minion Nation and Team Taylor, there will be no ride on June 15, 2013 so the Nation can take part in this great ride!

Unfortunately, Sharkman cannot ride this year due to a family obligation in Illinois, but he is encouraging the Nation to go to the attached site and sign up today because B-Rod is planning to group the Minions at the start to do the 62 (100K) ride with.  Last year many of the Nation rode the 62 mile ride together and reported having a great time followed by an incredible catered lunch.  There are also 12 and 31 mile courses.

So B-Rod will be looking for other Minions at the start at 7:30 a.m. so don't wait Bunkie, sign up now!

Tour de Taylor, THIS SATURDAY! http://www.tourdetaylor.org/

Be there!

MINIONS GET DOWN AND DIRTY AT THE MUD RUN!

Belo News

June 8, 2013

Squeaky & Hoosier Boy at Mud Run!

Kalamazoo, Mi. - As previously reported, Hoosier Boy and Squeaky took part in the Kalamazoo Mud Run and did the nation proud as they kicked some serious butt, or should we say, mud in this fun event.  It was reported that Hoosier Boy's, whose prowess in the mud is legendary has a mother who was a mudder, as well as a father who was a mudder!  Let it be said the man was born for mud!

It was also reported that Hoosier boy had an extra obstacle as he went through a bicycle tie instead of over it.

Way to go Minions!  And thanks to the Style guy for this report!

BREWMAN AT THE M22 CHALLENGE!

Belo News

June 8, 2013

Brewman at the M22 Challenge!

Sleeping Bear Dunes, Mi. - Brewman took part in the M22 Challenge this past weekend.  Biking, kayaking, joined with running!  From Brewman himself;

Where's my boat?

Participated in the M22 Challenge in Sleeping Bear dunes over the weekend. Fun dune run, beautiful bike around Glen Lake and kayak in Little Glen Lake. The hardest part was remembering where your boat was in the sea of kayaks! The best part was meeting the owner of North Peak/Jolly Pumpkin Brewing and having a few free beers afterwards. What a beautiful area of Michigan.

PIRATE GETTING READY TO HEAD TO BELGIUM!

Belo News

June 9, 2013

The Pirate in Spain

Valls, Spain - The Pirate reported in this weekend that he is set to leave Spain and head up to Belgium!  Here is his report;

Another EU update.  Last week for me to be in Spain.  Heading to Belgium next week but wanted to say the mountains in northern Spain just keeps on kicking my butt.  There is no way that I will be ready for the Alpe d'Huez at this rate.  

One more month and I will be heading to France, so I better kick in high gear and just suck it up because the minions never give up!

YETI BOY AND DURANGO KID RIDE THE WEST!

Belo News

June 9, 2013

Durango Kid & Yeti Boy at Animas River

Durango, CO. - Yeti Boy and the Durango Kid have been hitting it hard out in Colorado for the past week.  Yeti Boy, coming off his crash at the Fort decided that he now needs some high altitude training so what better place to do it than the home of the mighty Minion Nation west, that center of cycling, Durango Colorado.  Yeti Boy has been sending in reports and is looking to get back with the Nation for the KK-TdG!  Welcome back Yeti Boy and thanks to the Durango Kid for riding him back to health!

NEWS ON THE "BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED" COMING SOON!

Belo News

June 12, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Anyone who is anyone in cycling has been asking "what about the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred?"

Well, the Party Planning Team of Gazelle Girl and Zickman are at it again, devising a plan for the 2nd Annual Bloody 'Ell 'Undred.  Watch for a special email containing ride details AND information on a  spectacular Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jersey! Oh, the humanity!

BATHROOM STOP FOILS NICKHEADS BID TO WIN SECOND KK-TdG!

Zickman & B-Rod with the famous wood bike!

RAIN? WHAT RAIN?

RETURN OF THE ZICKMAN!

TOUR DE TAYLOR RIDE IN TWO WEEKS!

Belo News

June 1, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, laid in his warm and cozy bed, he watched the lightening flash across the Cove's bedroom window, lighting up the ceiling just before the rumble of thunder announced the storm.  "Oh no!" he thought as he heard the rain falling on the roof of his humble abode.  The old Shark was chomping at the bait to get back out after missing the previous edition of his beloved KK-TdG and now the weather was threatening another ride!  Oh, the humanity.

Sharkman rolled out of his cozy retreat and padded his way to the Shark Radar after getting the koffee going.  As the warm glow of his iPad beamed off his shark shaped koffee kup, he noted that it looked like the rain would eventually pass, but not in time for a 7:00 a.m. launch from the Cove.  

No worries as on the previous evening, our hero got an email from Mad Dog stating that he was taking his in-laws golfing in the morning and would not be riding over.  That left only Nikeboy and Rainman and surely the rain would hold both of them at bay.

It was still drizzling at 7 a.m., so Sharkman opened the garage door in case Nikeboy showed up as Sharkman had finally decided to drive to the start.

No sooner had the garage door opened then Sharkman received a text from Rainman. "You are one brave Minion.  Today goes against everything that Rainman knows to be right.  Stay dry!"

Sharkman's only hope was that not everyone was thinking like the Rainman as he responded with "It looks like we have this last wave and then no rain!" Ah, Sharkman, the eternal optimist!  Well, that and he hates to miss a ride!

Sharkman loaded up his faithful litespeed in the Sharkmobile and headed over as the rain seemed be slowing abating.

As our hero arrived, he found B-Rod, and none other than that legend of the wooden bike, Zickman!  Yes, Zickman was making his season debut, after coming of the Disabled List, sporting a Kellogg Pops Jersey and of course, his now famous wooden bike!  In honor of Zickman's return, the old Shark told him he wanted to give him his honorary sprint and said he would personally lead him out! (Of course we all know Sharkman just wanted to get his name in Belo News…..)

Tony Jersey Day for Mighty Minion Nation!

Shortly after, Bissell Boy rode in wearing his Tony the Tiger Jersey followed by Tow Truck.  Squeaky had snuck in and needed to be woken up from sleeping on the bench near the school entrance for the group photo.

Also driving in, was Ryan, who has ridden with the Minions intermittently and still has not been given a name, though everyone is now working on it.  Welcome back Ryan!

As the Nation started out, four Team Taylor Riders, led by the Iceman himself, caught on.  Nickhead, Mo Pink and a one ride Minion, Dave Buick who also does not have a name but the Minions were working on that one as well.  Welcome back Dave!

Luann was at her station, as were the early morning koffee group, to wave our hero's on …….and that is when it happened.

Nickhead needed to make a comfort stop and decided to do so at the Klutch unbeknownst to our hero and ride leader, the Sharkman.  Sharkman did not learn of the stop until the train was behind the Klutch, heading to 36th St. and thought that they should stop and wait when Nickheads fellow Team Taylor associates stated he'd catch up.  Sharkman, knowing Nickhead to be one fast rider, thought that would be O.K. little noting that as Nickhead himself stated later in his sound bite, "navigation is my Kryptonite!"

As the Nation headed north, they were first joined by Ironman and when they saw him without Gazelle Girl, their first thought was that Gazelle Girl had blown off the ride due to the threat of rain AND the earlier start.  Au contraire, mon frere!  Gazelle Girl rode up to her regular cheer from the Nation after being slighted the previous week.

B-Rod was taking our hero out when the Shark yelled back to Zickman to come on up!  Sharkman then led Zickman, mounted on his beautiful wooden bike, to the first sprint to the cheers of thousands of fans lining the course in the threatening weather!

As the Nation stopped at G Ave., they were one short of the thirteen riders Sharkman had counted.  It was pretty clear that Nickhead had not found the peloton and after waiting a few minutes, Iceman called him on his cell.  Nickhead stated he was somewhere near 40th St.?  Whoa, that was about 4 miles east of the Nations present location so he was way off course!

Iceman instructed him to go to the east side of the lake and ride north to meet the Nation on the way down to the Klutch.

The Minions headed out and Zickman, feeling his oats, edged out Squeaky on the sprint in the run up to the col de Twin Lakes.

On the climb up the col de Twin Lakes Bissell Boy, showing massive leg strength, torqued his chain so much it came off the big gear and he had to stop to get it back on!  Oh, the humanity!

The speed picked up through the Kountry Klub section where Sharkman went to the front until some of the Team Taylor Riders came forward to relieve him.  As they past near the Bissell Boy Estate, they were greeted by Dr. Dave who was in a car driving somewhere! The Nation acknowledge his wave and were on their way! Why wasn't he riding?

Sharkman at the back of the lead group biding his tim before he made his move at the Rt. 43 sprint but Dave came up for a photo finish.

As the Nation crested the col de Norte, there was no sign of Nickhead.  Where could he be you ask?  Same question the Nation was asking!

The concern continued through the Holy Rollers and at the Frona stop, Iceman, Mo Pink, Ryan, Dave and Bissell Boy took the cut off to make sure Nickhead wasn't heading north from the inlet.

As the Nation came back together at the inlet, still no Nickhead?  Iceman tried to call, but his phone was out of range so Mo Pink tried and got Nickheads answering machine.

The Nation crossed the Digital Divide and formed up a very nice pace line and the speed went up to around 22 mph! Actually, it was one of the best pace lines in some time!

As the Minion train bore down on the GGG Spot, all eyes were on the sweetheart of the peloton, Gazelle Girl, to see if she would attempt to repeat her win the previous week.  

Unfortunately, Gazelle Girl got boxed in and was unable to respond to a move made by Ryan to take her coveted GGG Spot! Oh, the humanity!

As the Nation headed south to the final sprint, no one seemed to want to get out front for too long, but then Iceman moved forward at the top of the final climb to the finish and told Sharkman to latch on.

Putting the hammer down, Iceman took it up to 30 mph as Sharkman held on for dear life!

As the old Shark looked in his rearview mirror he saw a cast of thousands ready to pounce!  Sharkman knew he and Iceman were playing into B-Rods strength, so also knowing that if someone like B-Rod made a move, there would be no staying with him, the old Shark broke earlier than he would have liked.  Iceman would later comment at the Press Conference that "he could see the wind hit Sharkman and hold him up!" 

Sharkman pedaled his little dorsal off but with a mere 60 yds left, B-Rod, then Ironman and Mo Pink went by shoving Sharkman of the podium and to the fourth spot.  Oh, the humanity!

The crowds went wild of the Champs le Galesburg and as our hero's approached the Klutch, there was the wayward Nickhead trying to explain what happened.

Apparently when he got to the inlet, he was sure the Nation had passed already and headed back to the Klutch.  Later in the day, Sharkman sent the wayward Nickhead a map of the course for future reference and made a mental not to self that he will leave no Minion behind no matter how fast!

The earlier start gave the Minions more time at the Klutch and the koffee was flowing.  Talk of the crazy weather permeated the discussion and Tow Truck tried to convince everyone that he and Bissell Boy rode through lightening, hail, twisters and even saw a cow fly across the sky in front of them.  But, none the less, Sharkman also had extra time because he had driven over.  As he and B-Rod rode back to their cars they noticed how dirty their bikes were from the wet road ride but smiled about getting their ride in before the next severe storm rolled through.  Only Zickman would need to clean his bike quickly to avoid mildew on that wood!

Sharkman hopes to return next Saturday to lead the Nation so you won't want to miss this ride!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

ANOTHER BELO NEWS RETRACTION? OH, THE HUMANITY!

CANNON TAKES SECOND SPRINT!

Belo News

June 1, 2013

Shark Cove, Mi. - In yet another retraction of a report featured in Belo News, Mad Dog, class act that he is, contacted the editorial staff to report that actually, the Cannon got the second sprint finish and not Mad Dog.  We apologize to the Cannon, class act that he is for not complaining and for any inconvience the may have caused the Nation as the staff here knows that the Minions can't wait to see their names in the pages of this legendary fifth estate!

TOUR DE TAYLOR JUNE 15, 2013

B-ROD TO START MINIONS AT 7:30 A.M. - SHARP!

 
BE THERE!

Belo News

May 25, 2013

Galesburg, Mi. - Last year was the inaugural of the Tour de Taylor ride and several Minions, including Sharkman and Lava Girl took part.  This is a fund raiser for Team Taylor and their quest to raise funds for the Make a Wish Foundation and the WAM ride coming up in July.  Many of the Nation are also members of Team Taylor and our own Sharkman has ridden with the team on the WAM three times.

Because of the close relationship of the mighty Minion Nation and Team Taylor, there will be no ride on June 15, 2013 so the Nation can take part in this great ride!

Unfortunately, Sharkman cannot ride this year due to a family obligation in Illinois, but he is encouraging the Nation to go to the attached site and sign up today because B-Rod is planning to group the Minions at the start to do the 62 (100K) ride with.  Last year many of the Nation rode the 62 mile ride together and reported having a great time followed by an incredible catered lunch.  There are also 12 and 31 mile courses.

So B-Rod will be looking for other Minions at the start at 7:30 a.m. so don't wait Bunkie, sign up now!

Tour de Taylor, June 15th! http://www.tourdetaylor.org/

Be there!

MOTOR CITY BIKE RIDE JUNE 22, 2013

Belo News

May 14, 2013

Detroit, Mi. - Detroit, Mi. - Yet another opportunity for the Nation is the Motor City Bike Ride on June 22, 2013 that Belo News has been promoting the past few weeks.  A close friend of the Sharkman has asked to post this great charity ride for those who might want to make a trip over to the east side of the State to enjoy some Motor City hospitality!  This ride is limited to 150 riders so if you are interested, don't wait.  All the information is available at;

http://www.motorcitybikeride.com/indexV2.asp?Pin=1007

Facebook Page - http://www.facebook.com/events/430264013735265/