SQUEAKY RETURNS!
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| The Nation gathers! Oh, what a day! |
SAFETY CONCERNS FROM SHARKMAN!
BISSELL BOY IMPERSONATOR IN THE PELOTON?
THE PIRATE CHECKS IN!
NEW START TIME! 8:30 A.M. LAUNCH!
Belo News
April 27, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - The "buzz" started early in the week. Rumors that that the infamous "Squeaky," also known as the "Style Guy," would be returning to the peloton created a real "buzz" in the Nation. A buzz that could not, much like Squeaky's dry chain drive, be silenced!
For the first time this season, our intrepid hero felt it was warm enough to make the ride over and back from the Shark Cove. As a matter of fact, it was so warm our hero began peeling off his jackets and leg warmers as he approached the start.
Sharkman was doing the ride over solo as Mad Dog, who has been to and from EVERY ride this year was absent this fine morning. What, is he afraid of beautiful weather! What's with that? Oh, the humanity!
As our hero arrived, he noticed that B-Rod was unloading his bike and making his season debut complaining about out of shape legs and not being sure he was ready to ride with the Nation. Au
contraire, as the peloton would find out later. As Brewman rode in, both he and B Rod filed early reports of a "Squeaky Sighting." Both B Rod and Brewman reported seeing the very distinguishable "parachute/safety" jacket that Squeaky, the Style Guy, is famous for.
Falcon then rode in stating that he, too, had seen the unmistakable jacket making its way to the start.
Whispers could be heard from the Nation as everyone was saying, "will Squeaky, the Style Guy, really be back this fine Spring morning?"
As riders like Polar Bear, Airman, Yeti Boy, Kenda, Tow Truck, Luke Skywalker, Toast, and Hossman rode in, a silence broke over the Nation as all looked west to the sound of a squeaking drive train.
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| Squeaky heading to Alaska? |
A rider appeared, sun shining on his sweaty brow, in what can only be described as a "parachute" jacket, the roar of the Nation went up! It could only be one person!
"SQUEAKY!" went up in the peloton and could be heard throughout Galesburg as the legend rode in, jacket billowing in the wind and gloves and stocking cap making him look like he was ready for a trip to the Arctic Circle!
Yes, it was Squeaky making his season debut in full Style Guy regalia! Wearing what looked like two stocking caps, winter gloves and the famous jacket! For those unfamiliar with this jacket, as Squeaky rides the wind causes it to billow out, making it look like a.) a parachute or b.) an airbag that has deployed or c.) both, hence the name "parachute/safety" jacket. However, it is not completely safe as evidenced by the fact it is not fire proof. This was demonstrated when Squeaky fell asleep too close to a camp fire and burned a very ragged hole in the left elbow of the jacket giving it a certain "panache" that only the irascible Style Guy can bring to cycling gear! "Where can I get a jacket like that?" has been heard many times in the Nation!
As the buzz about Squeaky's return continued, the Skipper rode in making his season debut. Welcome back Skipper!
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| Yes, the Skipper was back! |
Two long time readers, first time riders, Reb and Hambone, pulled in a bit late, but were able to hurry and get ready for the group photo.
Another rider, who stated he had ridden before but was unnamed and Sharkman could not remember, was given the name Tan Man for his early season tan.
Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Reb, Hambone and Tan Man!
After the photo opportunity the Skipper ordered the 18 riders to the start and to click in! It was good to have the Skipper back in the Nation.
As the Minion Train passed the Klutch, Luann was not at her post (it was later learned that she was on the phone) but a patron counted the number of Minions and reported it to her so that she could begin to get the koffee ready for the Nation upon their return.
As the Nation headed north, Gazelle Girl rode up to her usual roar from the peloton and all was well in the Nation. Nineteen riders was a great turn out on a beautiful, warm sunny day!
Polar Bear and Hossman took the early lead out for their hero, with Falcon taking over and leading our hero to his honorary first sprint.
As the Nation headed up the col de Twin Lakes the peloton split, but came back together at the top.
After the Gull Lake High School crossing, Hossman, Tan Man and Tow Truck took the speed up a notch but the Nation didn't seem to want to take the bait. That changed after Kellogg Korner where the Nation split apart as the speed picked up considerably. This completely splintered the peloton, which didn't come back together until the Rt. 43 Stop Sign.
The Nation quickly went up the col de Norte and again splintered through, what used to be known as the Bible Conference Hills, but is now being called the Holy Rollers for those two short but wicked climbs that kick Sharkman's dorsal every week.
Coming back together at Frona's, the Nation then rode pretty much together over the Digital Divide where they attempted to put together a pace line. Belo News has never been able to quite figure out why, but some weeks the Minions can get a pace line going and sometimes, well…..it can't. This was one of those "tweener" days where it "kinda worked" and "kinda didn't."
However, the Nation moved along at about 20 mph to the GGG Spot crossing where the sprint was contested.
As the Nation lined up and headed south, the peloton split into several groups. The lead group opened up a small gap and riders worked together to try to close it down and bring it together at the end. It is always good to see Minions helping one another out as the second group sacrificed riders to get other Minions back on to the lead group. As each Minion took the front of the second group, they then would launch a second Minion ahead.
The first two groups came back together at the top of the final ascent to the finish and the Sharkman had concerns that the Nation was so bunched up for the closing sprint that maintaining lines would be important.
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| Nike Boy talks to the press. |
(As regular readers know, Belo News does not report finishes until the season officially begins in May……which is this Saturday! Oh, the humanity!)
Nike Boy was waiting at the finish (which took the count up to 20 riders for the ride….a season high!) and escorted the riders back into town and also escorted our hero back to the Shark Cove after the Press Conference at the Klutch. Thanks Nike Boy!
The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the heros approached the Koffee Klutch.
Brewman stepped up and purchased our hero Koffee for the morning as Sharkman pushed tables together for the throngs of riders who stopped for a kup.
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| Gazelle Girl, B Rod, Reb, Hambone & Yeti Boy listen to Nike Boy at the press conference. |
The discussion was great as the Nation introduced Hambone and Reb to the ambience of the Koffee Klutch.
You won't want to miss next week's ride with a new, earlier start as the weather warms and the light is good.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
New Launch Time - New Launch Time - New Launch Time!!!
8:30 A.M. Launch time - SHARP!
SAFETY NEWS FROM SHARKMAN HIZZELF!
Belo News
April 30, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - It is important to periodically review safety in the peloton and to remind the Nation that as the group grows, the riders need to be mindful of NOT circling in intersections, at the top of the col de Norte, or to cross roads early. All of these practices create safety issues for all the riders.
1. When we approach an intersection, please do not circle in the intersection! Simply stop and allow traffic to pass but do not circle or cross the road ahead of the peloton.
2. We leave no Minion behind, and Minions STOP at all stop signs and WAIT for any stragglers to catch back on. Crossing ahead of the group draws others across who assume there is no traffic. Please, do not cross until the entire Nation is ready to cross.
3. In group riding it is important to let riders know if you are coming up behind them on either the right or the left. Do not assume riders know you are moving up next to them. In a group, riders should also announce if they are standing to pedal. Riders inadvertently thrust their bikes backwards when they stand and it is important to shout it out, wait a second and THEN stand so the rider behind you is aware and can adjust.
4. Finally, please do not ride on the wrong side of the street or cross the yellow center line while riding with the Nation. Nothing upsets drivers more than cyclists who believe they do not have to follow the rules of the road. After the finish, when we turn left onto the road to the Champs le Galesburg, please do not cross over early but wait until you are close to the intersection, not before.
Safety is everyone's job in the mighty Minion Nation!
'Nough said, right Bunkie?!
BISSELL BOY IMPERSONATOR IN THE NATION?
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| Is that Bissell Boy? |
Belo News
April 30, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - In an already controversial season, where drug use allegations have been flying, yet another investigation is being launched after reports of a "Bissell Boy" impersonator in the Nation were made to the Commissioner of Cycling. The Sharkman himself was accused of dressing in complete Bissell Kit for the morning in an attempt to look like his hero, Bissell Boy. Sharkman was quoted as saying that, though he was much shorter, had a lot less hair, was not as intelligent or handsome and definitely not as good a rider, other than that, they were exactly alike!
Presently the investigation is ongoing and the entire Nation awaits to see what the old Shark will be wearing for this week's ride and if Bissell Boy will file a formal complaint.
THE PIRATE FILES FIRST REPORT ON TOUR DE FRANCE!
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| The Pirate, sans mustache. |
April 30, 2013
Valls, Spain - As regular readers are aware, the Pirate, sans mustache, will be doing most of his riding in Spain and Belgium this summer as work takes him away from the Nation. However, he will not only be riding, but will be submitting exclusive reports on the Tour de France live! Well, as live as the Pirate can make them…..
The Pirate reported in this week that he has shipped his bike to Spain and has started his training. He also reports that, like western Michigan, it has been cold in Spain, but he is getting his miles in!
Stay tuned this summer as the Pirate reports from Europe!
You go Pirate!
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| The Boys of Summer! |
THURSDAY NIGHT CHAIN GANG!
New time next week - 5:45 p.m. launch!
Belo News
April 30, 2013
Battle Creek, Mi. - The wind was cranking with gusts of 30 mph, so what does that mean? It means it is time for the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang Ride! Fortunately, the wind was out of the south and for some unknown reason, it seemed to assist the riders in both directions so that they could hit a season high of 20.5 mph average for the evening!
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| Stingray leads Mad Dog and Sharkman to the finish. |
Rainman, Airman, Stingray, Mad Dog, Dutch and Sharkman launched from Kellogg HQ at 5:30 p.m. and were joined by Wrong Way as they rode out of town, and the all the riders were amazed at the wind assist. As the Nation headed south on 37th, the wind hit them head on and they struggled to maintain speed. They were amazed, however, when they headed east and instead of a head wind seemed to have a tail wind from the gusting south winds. Is this a great country or what?!
The riders split apart at the end as the pace continued to pick up, but all finished with a great workout!
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| Mad Dog & Sharkman |
If you like to work on your pace line, as well as get some speed work in, and miss the old Chain Gang ride, this is the ride for you. The Nation does ride to the lowest rider ability so come on out and enjoy!
As light is more available, the launch time will be moved to 5:45 p.m for May and 6:00 p.m. in June!
Come on out and enjoy!
UPCOMING EVENTS!
Belo News
May 1, 2013
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