THE SPRING OF OUR DISCONTENT?
HOW COLD WAS IT?
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| Shivering Minions waiting for koffee! |
TALES OF STYKER GUY!
Belo News
April 20, 2013
Shark Cove, Mi. - This is has been the "Spring of our discontent!" When will it ever end? Oh, the humanity!
Though the experts have designated this as the coldest and wettest Spring for western Michigan on record, it is not news to the mighty Minion Nation! After the Nation had reveled in many fantastic Spring seasons over the past few years, it all seemed to come apart this year with some of the worst weather ever! Though the Nation has been riding this cold, wet season, the turn outs have been low and some Minions have reported that they are not in good enough shape to come out yet.
What?
Well, Bunkie, please know that the peloton has not been breaking any speed records and unless you've been somewhere south during this "Spring of our discontent" the entire Nation is in the same boat.
No one is getting any good, consistent riding in so no need to worry about fitness!
This weeks ride may well have been the coldest Minion ride to date!
But we digress……
As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, and as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman shook the cobwebs out of his head, his first thought was about the cold he felt. At first, he did not want to pull the shark bedspread off of his warmed dorsal and roll out of bed! But alas, he knew the Nation was calling and he needed to make the call on whether to ride or drive to the start. As his feet hit the floor he could fell the cold he new he would face outside the warmth of the Shark Cove.
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| Even Polar Bear had to wear tights! |
As our hero loaded his trusty steed into the Sharkmobile, the sun was shining into his garage and Sharkman was thinking he should have ridden over!
That is, until he pulled out of the Cove, and noticed that though the sun was in full bloom on this cold Spring morning, the temperature was still only 30 degrees and as the weather report on the radio was reporting a 19 degree chill factor from a 15 mph wind out of the northwest, he knew he had made the right call. He also began to feel sorry for Mad Dog, if he was, in fact, riding over to the start.
As Sharkman drove into parking lot at the start, he found no other riders getting ready and began to wonder if he would be the only rider on this cold morning. The thought of a solo run against the gusty wind and cold chilled our hero's dorsal down to his tail.
As the clock showed 8:55 a.m. and as the dejected Shark began to mount his steed, none other than Polar Bear pulled in with a big grin for his season debut!
YES, ride on! And Sharkman would have someone to pull him into the wind! After all, that is what being a Minion is all about! "One for all and all for the Sharkman," as they say…..
How cold was it you ask? Well, it was so cold …….even Polar Bear had on riding tights! Oh, the humanity!
Just as the Shark was thanking Polar Bear from keeping him from having to ride alone, Hossman pulled in late and Sharkman and Polar Bear were more than happy to wait for him to get his booties on and get his tires pumped up.
As the three headed into town, Mad Dog rolled up and had in fact, ridden over into the wind. Mad Dog also mentioned that he had run into ice on the bridges on his way over and cautioned the riders about the ice on the road! Is this Minion a stud or what?
Luann was waiting at her post with a look of disbelief on her face as the Nation rolled by the Klutch.
Much to the dismay of the Nation, Gazelle Girl was not to be found on 36th Street has they headed north. Sharkman told the Nation that she probably woke to the cold and just rolled back, pulled the covers up and thought, "maybe next week!" (this marks an unprecedented run of getting her name in Belo News without showing up on cold days! Way to go Gazelle Girl!).
Hossman quickly headed to the front and led our intrepid hero to the first sprint at which time Sharkman announced his legs just didn't seem to have anything in them on this cold morning.
Mad Dog sat in at the back saving some energy for his ride home and Sharkman felt a bit guilty as Polar Bear and Hossman did most of the work at the front of the pack. But, that is what Minions are for, correct?
As the Nation climbed the col de Norte and the wind began to push them, our intrepid hero began to get a second wind and the pace picked up through the Bible Conference Hills, into the inlet section and across the Digital Divide.
After the Digital Divide, a very strong pace line picked up and each of the Minions took their turns in the box as they quickly approached the GGG Spot crossing.
Sharkman shot to the front as the small but hearty riders headed for the final assault.
Sharkman pulled for a short time and then Hossman came forward to take an awesome pull, as is his want to do, at the front! Taking the small train to the base of the final ascent, Sharkman took over and pulled to the top just as Polar Bear came through to take the lead.
Sharkman stayed on Polar Bear like a wave on a dorsal fin until the final end stretch of the sprint, where within a matter of feet before the finish, Sharkman went ahead by half a wheel!
Shakrman immediately apologized to both Polar Bear and Hossman for going out in front as he felt he had not pulled his share on the front half of the ride. However, he stated he was feeling good and could not help himself! After all, the old Shark doesn't always get a chance at strong finishes like the one he had just experienced.
However, being the great Minions that they are, both Hossman and Polar Bear stated it was a great day in the peloton and they were just glad they survived without any frostbite!
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| Standing room only at the Klutch! |
The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation rode to the Klutch, jersey's zipped up for the sponsors, where the tofosi and paparazzi was so thick the only table the Nation could sit at was the last tall table near the window! The koffee was hot and strong and at one point, Sharkman was caught pouring some on his feet in an attempt to get the feeling back in his toes! The Nation shivered for while they sipped the first kup, but they were nicely warmed by the third. The discussion centered around the fact that Mad Dog had to ride home, but at least he would have a tail wind!
What will happen this week? Come on out and find out! The weather can't stay cold forever! Or can it…..?
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Launch time - 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!
Last year by this time the Minions were starting at 8:00! Oh, the humanity!
Last year by this time the Minions were starting at 8:00! Oh, the humanity!
It has to warm up at some point, right?
Be there!
TALES OF STYKER GUY
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| Stryker Guy and beard! |
Belo News
April 24, 2013
Brasstown Bald, Ga. - Many in the nation have been asking where that perennial Minion rider, Stryker Guy, has been all season. When last heard from, the veteran Minion had reported that he was training to run a marathon with his lovely daughter and would be out of action on the bike until said marathon was over.
This past weekend, Stryker Guy reported in from Brasstown Bald, the highest natural point in the State of Georgia, with a summit elevation of 4,784 feet. This famous peak has been a part of some major bike races and is famous for its steep, long climb. Obviously, Styker Guy is back on the bike and ready to ride as he reported he had made the climb!
Stryker Guy also sent the attached photo of he and other riders doing Hogpen pass, which is not as high as Brasstown Bald, but has 12-14% grades in the middle of the climb. What a stud!
Stryker Guy has even grown a beard!
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| Stryker Guy and friends! |
Look out col de twin lakes and Norte! Here comes Stryker Guy!
Stryker Guy reports he hopes to be back in the Minion peloton soon!
HOOSIER BOY DOES BOSTON!
Belo News
April 15, 2013
Boston, Ma. - With all the excitement and tragedy around the Boston Marathon bombings, the news of how one of our own Minions did was left out of last weeks Belo News.
We are pleased to report that our own Hoosier Boy finished in 3:15 and well ahead of the attacks.
Hoosier Boy did the Mighty Minion Nation proud with this stellar performance and it is hoped he will be back in the Nation, where he belongs, soon!
Hoosier Boy did the Mighty Minion Nation proud with this stellar performance and it is hoped he will be back in the Nation, where he belongs, soon!
Congratulations Hoosier Boy!
UPCOMING EVENTS!
Belo News
April 24, 2013
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