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| Skipper welcomes Boffo back! |
RETURN OF THE SHARK AND BOFFO!
CHARGE OF THE THOROUGHBREDS!
KELLOGG JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!
MINION DOWN, MINION DOWN!
Belo News
May 5, 2012
Galesburg, Mi. – To say that Sharkman was excited to get
back to his beloved Mighty Minion Nation would be a major understatement. The excitement began to build early in the
week as he read the write ups from the past Saturday and Tuesday Night rides
(with thanks to Gazelle Girl, Stingray and Rainman). This had been the longest period, other than
winter, that our hero had been away from his Minions and he was literally
itching to get back into action!
The excitement reached a crescendo when he got a text from
Rainman on Friday night stating that he may escort the old Shark to the start
in the morning.
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| Rainwimp? |
Whoa, Rainwimp?
Sharkman assured the young Minion that the rumors of rain
were greatly exaggerated and told him that from his vast experience as a ride
leader, IT WOULD NOT RAIN! Alas, Rainman signed off, only to call back moments
later to say he would go!
Ah, the Sharkman guilt effect in action……..
As the two rode over to the start, Sharkman gave the young
Minion a course on “Sharkman weather predicting 101” and regaled him with
stories from old Santa Fe.
Sharkman did have some concern that the turn out could be
low because he had been gone, but he reported being pleased to see the parking
lot filling up as he rode in.
To everyone’s surprise, none other than Boffo was getting
ready from the back of a small fire truck! Two times this season! Is the
irascible clown finally returning to the peloton as a regular? It can only be hoped for.
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| Sharkman's Giro shoes! Looking good! |
The first comment thrown Sharkman’s way was that he must be
secure in his manhood (or should we say “Sharkhood”) by wearing the red and
white Giro shoes he had on.
That’s right; this guy gets more swag then anyone in the
cycling world! Turns out that Sharkman
complained to his son in law that he thought his feet were getting bigger with
old age and his beloved Sidi’s were hurting his feet. Walla!
The Great Moultini had new shoes for him! Knowing that previously the Sharkman would
only be seen in black cycling shoes, he began to take some joking about the flamboyant
shoes and whether they made them in colors for men.
Sharkman shrugged off the comments, secure that he was
living the credo, “if you can’t be good, look good” and our hero was looking
good!
Soon after, Skipper, Bissell Boy, Boatman, Tow Truck and a
very dapper Stryker Guy, decked out in a new, bright red, Redwings jersey
pulled up for the start, all surprised to see Boffo back!
They were also joined by Polar Bear, All Black, Ranger Rick,
B-Rod and Zickman who shared that he was still waiting for delivery of his new
Wooden Bike! Yes, you heard that right!
Zickman has a bike on order that is made from wood! That might actually warrant a special edition
of Belo News when it arrives in June/July, so stand by Minions! (Where else can
you get in-depth writing like this?)
Finally, Hossman, the horse of the peloton pulled in driving
his Ford Mustang and very understandably parked in the side parking lot. No door nicks for this rider, eh? Don’t park
near those Minions!
As the clock hit 9:00 a.m., Skipper shouted, “Let’s go,
Minions!” and to the sound of pedals clicking in the Mighty Minion Nation
headed out past the Klutch where Luann came out to welcome the Sharkman back to
the peloton!
The nation was very disappointed that they did not see
Gazelle Girl on the way up 36th street, but she had gotten a late start
and joined on with the group later on the east side of the lake to shouts of
“Gazelle Girl!” It was also reported
that she had won the 3G Spot sprint at the TdG Friday Night ride and amazingly
she repeated the feat again in the KK-TdG!
(Editor’s note: from Gazelle Girl herself!)
“My taking of the 3G
spot sprint (with lead out by B-rod and near loss to Polar Bear - who thought
better of stealing something so rightfully owned by the queen of the peloton) I
did, indeed, take back-to-back 3G spot sprints that weekend. I got the Friday
Night TdG 3G spot sprint only because no one else seemed to be going for it, so
I literally barged my way between the two lead riders, got out of the saddle
and rode as if my life depended on it. At the stop sign I snottily remarked,
"Like taking candy from a baby." (If you can't earn it, take it! Say
I.)
Well played Gazelle Girl, well played!
And then they were 15 (actually 14 as Bissell Boy had
dropped off, but the total count on the day was 15)!
Sharkman took the customary first sprint, led out by
Rainman.
The Country Club section was again a major speedway, where
Bissell Boy dropped off to perform Kid Sports Duty and as Boffo was saying
goodbye, he looked up and the peloton was gone! Oh, the humanity!
For whatever reason, when the count was done by the Shark
Shepherd at the Rt. 43 stop, Boffo was mysteriously missed in the count. However, not having heard the diabolical
clown’s laugh for some time, the old Shark noticed he was missing at the top of
the cul de Norte. As the Nation circled,
Sharkman headed back and found the clown working his way up the hill.
Boffo tried to claim two flat tires, a thrown chain and that
the clown fire truck sag wagon had told him they were full, as well as his
story of saying goodbye to Bissell Boy, but no one was buying the clowns
fables. We know they can fit a million clowns in those fire engines…….
As the Nation came together, Zickman had a flat tire, but
told the peloton to go on, as he planned to stop at home and pick up another
tube.
A “sort of” pace line picked up south of the Digital Divide,
but as the Nation got south of G Ave. and Gazelle Girls demonstration of her sprint prowess, the
train got really serious.
With Hossman and Tow Truck at the front, it was like having
“Team Clydesdale or more like “Team Secretariat” at the front! Rainman,
Sharkman and Polar Bear all jumped on for the ride with the mighty train just behind!
With speeds over 30 mph (actually 31.3) before they even got
to the final ascent to the finish, Hossman, then Tow Truck then Rainman then
Polar Bear worked the front of the peloton!
At the top of the hill, even the old Shark took a turn and
kept the train moving on to the final assault.
But Sharkman came back faster than a garlic milkshake as the
Nation began to line up for the finish.
With the Minion peloton moving on the finish, Tow Truck came
back to the front with Polar Bear and Boatman on his wheel to take the top
three podium spots!
The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the riders
zipped up their jersey’s for the sponsor’s and waved to the throngs of 2-3
people cheering them on to the Klutch.
Sharkman, feeling good as the press corps waited to talk to
Tow Truck and the riders at the Klutch, bought coffee for a couple of the
Minions behind him (no, really, Sharkman bought!).
The Klutch was rocking as the riders regaled the locals with
stories from the day’s ride!
You won’t want to miss this week’s ride!
KELLOGG JERSEY DAY!
Belo News
May 12, 2012
Galesburg, Mi. - Realizing that there have been no jersey
days declared yet this season, the Commissioner of Cycling has declared that
this Saturday will be Kellogg Jersey Day!
Formally known as “Tony the Tiger” jersey day, several riders have
stated they do not have Tony Jerseys but do have Kellogg Jersey’s. We would like to point out that you can get a
Tony jersey at Team Active in Battle Creek, and anyone who is anyone in the
world of cycling should have one, but any Kellogg Jersey will do!
Upcoming jersey days will include, Beer, Bissell,
favorite and College Game Day jersey days!
So if you do not have one of these jerseys now, you need to start
shopping immediately!
After seeing Stryker Guy’s Redwing Jersey, the
Commissioner is thinking of a “pro-sports” jersey day….MMmmm are we hearing
Chicago Bears jersey……?
This Saturday, May 12, 2012
KELLOGG JERSEY DAY – Wear your favorite Kellogg Jersey!
Launch Time 9:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Be there!
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| Yes, that is his bone sticking out! |
MINION DOWN, MINION DOWN!
FALCON BREAKS ELBOW!
Belo News
May 2, 2012
Augusta, Mi. – We are sorry to report that while doing an
easy loop of the Red Trail at Fort Custer, after doing two loops at race pace,
Falcon suffered a crash that happened while going over the camel humps
resulting in a broken elbow.
As Falcon reported, and many Minions have confirmed, the
second hump has a tendency to kick your rear wheel in the air as you go over,
and that is what happened to the Falcon. Falcon reports that he landed on the
front wheel first and hit a rock or something that caused the front wheel to
slide out. This resulted in going over the bars and landing on the elbow, which
was a compound break (see photo – yes that is his bone sticking out as he calls
the office to report he will not be able to fly the following day.). Like the
old saying, “Nothing is worse than a bad hump…..”
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| 12 titanium screws later! |
On Saturday, Falcon underwent surgery, where they
installed 12 titanium screws and one titanium plate. If Falcon thought he had
problems with TSA before, just wait until he has to go through metal screening!
Oh, the humanity.
Falcon has reported he is doing fine and already
contemplating his many summer days riding on the trainer in the basement.
The Mighty Minion Nation wishes the Falcon a speedy
recovery and it should serve as a reminder for all the Minion Nation to, “Be
careful out there!”
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| Aviator Glasses? |
TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE REPORT
Belo News
May 8, 2012
Battle Creek, Mi. – Four hearty Minions showed up for the
Tuesday Night Chain Gang ride this week and set a season high during the ride. Sharkman had forgotten his sunglasses and was
reduced to riding with his “aviator Ray Bans” setting yet another style trend
in motion and we are sure others will follow (see photo – what was he
thinking?).
Airman, Stingray
and Sharkman started from the Kellogg HQ on time and met CheddarHead on Jackson
St. as they headed out of town into 20-25 mph winds out of the west. It had been decided by the group to try to do
shorter, more moderate pulls at the front and attempt to maintain around 18 mph
into the wind. As the Minion Chain Gang crested the G Ave. hill, they were
greeted by a car ringing a cowbell! It
was none other than our own Wildman! (He actually carries a cowbell in his car
for just such occasions! We know, strange, but true!) It was, well…..thrilling!
Like being in the Tour!
The formula of shorter, steady pulls seemed to be a
success, as the small, but well-oiled pace line kept it at 18.2 out to
Galesburg. With the wind behind them,
and the encouragement of Wildman’s cowbell, the four were able to easily hold
the pace at between 21-22 mph, bringing the ride home at a season high 20.5
mph!
If you like to do pace line work, and get a great work
out, this is the ride for you!
We leave no Minion behind!
Tuesday Night, May 15, 2012 – Launch Time – 6:00 P.M.
Sharp
Kellogg HQ upper parking ramp!
WHAT TIME SHOULD THE MINIONS START?
Belo News
May 9, 2012
Shark Cove, Mi. – The Cycling Commissioner is soliciting
input on start times. It is very
difficult to keep all Minions happy and start times is one of those topics that
it is difficult to reach an agreement about.
As the weather warms, we look to moving the times up to beat the
heat. In seasons long past, we’ve
actually gotten as early as 7 a.m. when the weather was really hot. But for the past two seasons, we don’t
believe we have moved earlier than 8 a.m.
Early means less traffic and getting home to chores or
family more quickly, while later means getting a bit of extra sleep, warmer in
early spring and daylight.
Belo News would like to hear from the Minions what their
thoughts are on start times. As the
weather warms, the time will be moved up to beat the heat, but should we keep
the time at 9 until then or start to move it forward to 8:30 and then 8:00
a.m.?
Please send us your thoughts and then the Cycling
Commissioner will do whatever he wants to do anyway!
Send your comments in to Belo News!
STYLE GUY!
Belo News
May 9, 2012
Richland, Mi.
Style Guy here…..
There were no specific questions this past couple of
weeks, but I would be remise in my duties as “THE” style expert of the Mighty
Minion Nation if I didn’t point Sharkman’s major wardrobe snafu’s this past
week.
What am I talking about, you ask?
Well how could anyone miss it, I reply!
Come on, red and white shoes AND aviator sunglasses? Talk about style issues! Either of these wardrobe decisions are
disasters in and of themselves, but both at the same time?
And he makes fun of my warm, safety bubble wind jacket
with stylish burnt sleeves?
Get real Sharkman!
Black shoes, no sunglasses and lots of layers! Lots of
layers!
That is what makes for style my friends!
You heard it here, and thanks for listening,
Style Guy Squeaky
1 comment:
an 0830 start would be nice so some bike shop employees could make their 2012 Minion Debut.
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