Falcon is Flying High!
Stingray gets Headlines without Showing Up (i.e. no women riders)!
And the Winner is……….
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
July 25, 2009
Galesburg, Mi. - Once again, Southwest Michigan was greeted with early Saturday morning rain. It seems as if, in 2009, the rain has some financial interest in bike cleaning supply companies. Sooner waited patiently for the rain showers to move eastward, and then headed out of Portage right on time, as the last light sprinkles dwindled. With the big Make-a-Wish fundraiser this weekend, Sooner was expecting a small peloton. However, when Sooner arrived in Galesburg, a decent sized group had already begun to form. As soon as Falcon (who is quickly taking Wolf King’s place as the king of tardy), made it to the start line, 13 minions were led out by Skipper and Pirate. Later, Knute joined the peloton making 14 total (Peugeot Guy, B-Rod, Ironman, Skipper, Pirate, Falcon, Un-named rider, Hutch, Bullet Bob, Sooner, Danimal, Knute, Wolf King, and one rider whose name is unknown by the author, but he was wearing a Wonder Bread jersey).
Not long after the start, Sooner was daydreaming about potential writing material, when, Eureka!, Sooner noticed that Pirates shorts were (putting it delicately), not structurally sound. Yes indeed, multiple areas of skin that had not seen sunshine in years, maybe decades, were exposed. Sooner’s giddiness over this literary gift ended quickly, as after a second look, he quickly dropped back through the peloton, looking for a black sharpie marker. As none was found, the minions were thankful that the day was mostly overcast and therefore the glare was greatly reduced. Wow, nowadays some minions will do anything to get in the update!
The first sprint appeared quickly, and Falcon took off thinking it was his all the way. However, Sharkman could not be denied. It was one of the few sprints that Falcon didn’t take on the day. Falcon quickly made up for it by crushing Sooner’s early attack on the run up to 35th St. Shortly thereafter, Ironman did his best impersonation of Alberto Contador, flying up the Cul de Twin Lakes, as if powered by an invisible force.
As has become the norm, the pace from the county club up to M-43 was fast and furious, creating a few gaps, but only small ones, in the peloton. Sooner took another shot at the sprint prior to M-43, and was again crushed by Falcon. At that point, Sooner vowed to “sprint no more” on this particular day.
The ride down the east side of the lake was uneventful, until the attacks for the C Ave stop ahead sign began. Wolf King made an early effort, but was run down by Falcon, who avoided all doping questions after the ride.
As the ride progressed southward, Skipper and Pirate dropped off to catch the end of the TdF telecast. At least that was the story. Some minions were wondering if Pirate’s overexposed areas needed treatment for windburn, chaffing, etc.
In the final stretch, Sooner decided to come to the front and pull the group as fast as possible for the last few miles. He was only able to bring the pace up to around 24-25 mph as the southwesterly wind was stiffening. Sooner stayed in front long enough to ensure his last place finish as eventually, Knute attacked and blew past Sooner, chased by a swarm of minions. Sooner was too far away to see the finish, but was told by one minion that Danimal won the final sprint, followed closely by Knute, Bullet Bob, Falcon, and the rest.
The peloton thinned considerably before entering the Klutch, were a political discussion involving federal health care ensued. No wonder the rest of the peloton fled!
Sooner
In the interest of getting some comments in the Blog, I thought it might be interesting to compare minion rider performances this year to pro rider performances in the Tour de France. Some obvious ones might be:
Boffo Mark Cavendish – six stage wins – but climbing; forget about it
Wolf King Tom Boonen – has yet to show up
Sharkman Lance Armstrong – impressive for an old fart
Anyone have any other comparisons?
Sooner
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Sharkman Debut’s New Groupo!
Boffo Returns for Win!
Nikeboy, Boatman fill out the Podium!
Minions Rule at Lake Swim!
Belo News
Minions Rule at Lake Swim!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
July 18 , 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – It is that time of year when we are all watching the Tour, looking at the season standings and wondering…..”When the hell is it going to warm up?”
It was yet another chilly start to the KK-TdG as riders arrived at the parking lot in arm warmers and/or jackets. Though the Shark likes cold weather, the Minions were grumbling about how cold a season this has been. We can only hope it means a warmer fall season!
Sooner actually rode out to meet Sharkman and Nikeboy and was particularly warmed up after starting his ride from home at 6:45 a.m.
It was yet another chilly start to the KK-TdG as riders arrived at the parking lot in arm warmers and/or jackets. Though the Shark likes cold weather, the Minions were grumbling about how cold a season this has been. We can only hope it means a warmer fall season!
Sooner actually rode out to meet Sharkman and Nikeboy and was particularly warmed up after starting his ride from home at 6:45 a.m.
Talk about cold, two of our own Minions got into cold water and swam to glory in the Leroy Sparks Goguac Lake Swim in Battle Creek! Our own Stroker and Hoosier Boy finished first and third, respectively, in the 50-54 age group! Man, you have to be crazy to get in a cold lake on a cold morning and swim!
Congratulations Minions!
But we digress....you would have thought it was “College Game Day” as several Minions were sporting college kit and Nikeboy was riding his Michigan University bike. Wisconsin, UCLA and Tennessee were all represented in the peloton.
Sharkman was showing off his new Sram Red Groupo to anyone who would listen to him as Skipper got the Minions on the road.
It was difficult to get a total number as 18 riders left Galesburg, then picked up Boffo and Zickman on the way north and then 3 Team Taylor riders jumped on around the Yorkville Church. It seemed as if riders were coming and going all around the course. However, it was estimated that around 22-23 riders took part in the festivities.
The beginning of the ride was down right social and riders were beginning to wonder when things would get interesting. However, due to “chip and seal” in certain areas, the speed didn’t really pick up until the section from the Yorkville Church to Rt. 43.
As many of our readers are aware, this section has become the “Pain Cave” of the KK-TdG for reasons unknown, where riders want to put the hammer down while they negotiate Kellogg Korner, the Gull Lake Country Club and the final stop ahead sprint before Rt. 43.
Ironman and Boatman took off at the church and Sharkman grabbed their wheels and rode the both of them like rented mules. A small gap opened up on the peloton and as the sprint stop ahead loomed, Sooner, Zickman and Nikeboy, attempted to bridge the gap to catch on to the fast moving train. Ironman, leading the Sharkman out, eased up just as Sharkman and his Sram Red Groupo (did we mention that Sharkman has a new Sram Red Groupo?) put the hammer down.
Nikeboy, just off his victory at the Tour of Northern California, nearly caught our intrepid hero and his Red Groupo, but the cagey shark took the sprint by the narrowest of margins. Nikeboy was sending a message that he was on his game!
The pace continued to build down the east side of the lake as the Minion Train barreled south. The usual pace line formed up after the Rt. 89 crossing and through G Ave. as the speed went up accordingly.
As the Minion Nation pedaled to the finishing sprint, the pace line came apart and before long, Bullet Bob, making his now patented move, shot out of the back of the pack faster than a ham and cheese sandwich from the mouth of a bulimic super model! His move caught the peloton a bit off guard but a quick counter attack was formed up by Nikeboy, Boatman, Boffo, Peugeot Guy, Kid Doster, Ironman, B-Rod and a cast of thousands!
But we digress....you would have thought it was “College Game Day” as several Minions were sporting college kit and Nikeboy was riding his Michigan University bike. Wisconsin, UCLA and Tennessee were all represented in the peloton.
Sharkman was showing off his new Sram Red Groupo to anyone who would listen to him as Skipper got the Minions on the road.
It was difficult to get a total number as 18 riders left Galesburg, then picked up Boffo and Zickman on the way north and then 3 Team Taylor riders jumped on around the Yorkville Church. It seemed as if riders were coming and going all around the course. However, it was estimated that around 22-23 riders took part in the festivities.
The beginning of the ride was down right social and riders were beginning to wonder when things would get interesting. However, due to “chip and seal” in certain areas, the speed didn’t really pick up until the section from the Yorkville Church to Rt. 43.
As many of our readers are aware, this section has become the “Pain Cave” of the KK-TdG for reasons unknown, where riders want to put the hammer down while they negotiate Kellogg Korner, the Gull Lake Country Club and the final stop ahead sprint before Rt. 43.
Ironman and Boatman took off at the church and Sharkman grabbed their wheels and rode the both of them like rented mules. A small gap opened up on the peloton and as the sprint stop ahead loomed, Sooner, Zickman and Nikeboy, attempted to bridge the gap to catch on to the fast moving train. Ironman, leading the Sharkman out, eased up just as Sharkman and his Sram Red Groupo (did we mention that Sharkman has a new Sram Red Groupo?) put the hammer down.
Nikeboy, just off his victory at the Tour of Northern California, nearly caught our intrepid hero and his Red Groupo, but the cagey shark took the sprint by the narrowest of margins. Nikeboy was sending a message that he was on his game!
The pace continued to build down the east side of the lake as the Minion Train barreled south. The usual pace line formed up after the Rt. 89 crossing and through G Ave. as the speed went up accordingly.
As the Minion Nation pedaled to the finishing sprint, the pace line came apart and before long, Bullet Bob, making his now patented move, shot out of the back of the pack faster than a ham and cheese sandwich from the mouth of a bulimic super model! His move caught the peloton a bit off guard but a quick counter attack was formed up by Nikeboy, Boatman, Boffo, Peugeot Guy, Kid Doster, Ironman, B-Rod and a cast of thousands!
In a very close finish, Boffo moved out and nipped Nikeboy right at the line, with Boatman laying anchor on the third spot on the podium.
The crowds again went wild on the champs le Galesburg as our hero’s zipped up their jersey’s for the sponsors and waved to the crowd.
Both Luann AND Jamie were in the Klutch to handle the throngs of riders, tofosi and paparazzi that crowded the Kafe.
Nikeboy regaled his fans with stories of his Tour of California and Kid Doster bought the Sharkman his Koffee.
2009 Mid Season Standings
It is the middle of the season and the Update has decided to post the top ten riders in the season standings thus far for 2009;
1st Sharkman
2d Someone Else
3rd Someone Else
4th Cloud Girl
5th Tardette
6th Someone Else
7th Not Stingray
8th Someone Else
9th Celebrity Riders
10th That kid on the Big Wheel with the cool handle bar streamers
Yes, it has been an outstanding season to date and you won’t want to miss another Saturday.
Many riders, including our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, will be participating in the Make a Wish Ride with Team Taylor this weekend. So we wish them all a safe ride!
It is the middle of the season and the Update has decided to post the top ten riders in the season standings thus far for 2009;
1st Sharkman
2d Someone Else
3rd Someone Else
4th Cloud Girl
5th Tardette
6th Someone Else
7th Not Stingray
8th Someone Else
9th Celebrity Riders
10th That kid on the Big Wheel with the cool handle bar streamers
Yes, it has been an outstanding season to date and you won’t want to miss another Saturday.
Many riders, including our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, will be participating in the Make a Wish Ride with Team Taylor this weekend. So we wish them all a safe ride!
Team Taylor has 86 riders who have raised over $110,000.00 so far.
Go Team Taylor!
But the Minions will ride!
This Saturday! 8:00 A.M. launch – Sharp!
* Sooner has volunteered to write next weeks edition of the Update, so you may want to buy him a kup of koffee so you can get your name in print! (Sooner - believe us, it works!)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sharkman, WolfKing, Hoosier Boy rule the wet roads!
Sharkman takes the water soaked finish!
What? The Minions rode?
What? The Minions rode?
Sharkman, WolfKing and Hoosier Boy fill out the podium!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
July 11 , 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, leaped from his Shark Bed on Saturday morning, visions of riding in the Minion Nation with his new Sram Red grupo danced in his head. Sharkman pulled back the Shark bed spread, revealing his cool Shark Pajama's and darted to the Shark Coffee maker totally geeked as he thought about showing off the new grupo to his Minions. As the smell of coffee wafted gently through the Shark Cove, our hero heard a rumbling sound and looked out the window. His first thought was his stomach was gurgling from his all you can eat seafood dinner frenzy he indulged in the previous evening after a round of golf with Lava Girl. When he heard the second rumble, the Shark clicked on the Shark Radar and to his dismay, blue, green and yellow shadow’s indicated a major rain rolling through the theater of dreams we have all come to know as the KK-TdG.
Sharkman grudgingly sipped is coffee while watching Sport’s Center and checking “Weather on the 8’s” on the Weather Channel every, well......, 8 minutes.
Thinking he would drive to the start if the rain ended, 7:30 a.m. rolled around, but it was still raining. Sharkman, concerned that the Minion Nation would be rained out for the first time this season, was pouring a second cup of coffee when the Shark phone rang!
It was WolfKing calling to ask where the Shark was! WolfKing reported he was at the start, that no one else was there, and that he wanted to ride! He also had Sharkman’s cyclo cross bike and had planned on returning it after the ride. Sharkman told him to wait to see if anyone else showed up and if not, to drive over to the Cove to drop off the bike and have some Shark coffee.
Within minutes, WolfKing called back to report Hoosier Boy had arrived and wanted to ride. The radar was showing the rain was passing and the sun was actually peeking through the clouds! Two stud Sharks wanted to ride! How could the Sharkman say no? Game on! Game on!
Sharkman instructed his Minions to start riding to Battle Creek and he would meet them on the road.
Reportedly, WolfKing took the first sprint heading south out of Galesburg as the Sharkman launched out of the Shark Cove on very wet roads, the sun starting to shine at his back.
As the riders met on Michigan Avenue, it was decided that they would ride south so they headed for Qman Hill and down to Indian Lake and back through Scott’s. Stop Ahead sprints were contested in the group and as the ride progressed the sun came out and the roads began to dry.
Hoosier Boy, who is somewhat new to the Minion Nation, was extremely strong and took several of the sprints proving his meddle in the peleton. WolfKing was complaining of a sore neck that was later determined to be a major pinched nerve. (Actually, the emergency room confirmed it later in the day.)
That might explain the finish.
The Minion Nation (O.K. three riders) lined up on the descent down Qman Hill to the finish in Galesburg. WolfKing, notorious for his descending ability due primarily to copious amounts of Big Mac Double Cheeseburgers, Doritos and Milk Shakes resulting in major "girth to descent ratio" that is off the charts, was dropping like a Mack Truck with a full load of washing machines down a major mountain pass and completely out of control. Meanwhile, Sharkman, seeing an opportunity, latched on to the WolfKing’s wheel as the trees around him began to blur as though he was traveling at warp speed on the Star Ship Enterprise!
As they crossed the bridge over I-94, WolfKing took it up yet another notch and Sharkman and Hoosier Boy held on to his wheel like it was the last chocolate donut in the box!
Sharkman, knowing WolfKing had a stiff neck, stayed to the big guy’s right and as road flattened and the bend before the stop ahead came up, WolfKing let up on the pedals and Sharkman made his move. Sharkman, using his new Sram Red grupo like he actually knew what he was doing, took the finish with WolfKing in second and Hoosier boy grabbing the final spot on the podium.
Total miles, 38….Average speed 18.7 mph!
The paparazzi lined the Champs le Galesburg as the tofosi waited at the Koffee Klutch for the late arrival of the peleton. Sharkman was interviewed and declared his victory based on his race tactics and his new Sram Red grupo!
Jamie served up the brew and asked where everyone was! She also took the above photo for the Update!
Sharkman signed autographs and allowed photo’s of his new grupo in front of the Klutch. He then spent the early afternoon cleaning the grit, dead worms and assorted road debris off of his new grupo! Ouch!
Can the Minions keep their record of consecutive weekends alive next week?
Will Sharkman show?
Will WolkKing visit the chiropractor and return to the peleton?
Did Hoosier Boy clean his bike after last weeks wet ride?
Get the answer to these and all your cycling questions by coming out to ride!
Next Ride this Saturday! 8:00 A.M. launch – Sharp!
Sharkman grudgingly sipped is coffee while watching Sport’s Center and checking “Weather on the 8’s” on the Weather Channel every, well......, 8 minutes.
Thinking he would drive to the start if the rain ended, 7:30 a.m. rolled around, but it was still raining. Sharkman, concerned that the Minion Nation would be rained out for the first time this season, was pouring a second cup of coffee when the Shark phone rang!
It was WolfKing calling to ask where the Shark was! WolfKing reported he was at the start, that no one else was there, and that he wanted to ride! He also had Sharkman’s cyclo cross bike and had planned on returning it after the ride. Sharkman told him to wait to see if anyone else showed up and if not, to drive over to the Cove to drop off the bike and have some Shark coffee.
Within minutes, WolfKing called back to report Hoosier Boy had arrived and wanted to ride. The radar was showing the rain was passing and the sun was actually peeking through the clouds! Two stud Sharks wanted to ride! How could the Sharkman say no? Game on! Game on!
Sharkman instructed his Minions to start riding to Battle Creek and he would meet them on the road.
Reportedly, WolfKing took the first sprint heading south out of Galesburg as the Sharkman launched out of the Shark Cove on very wet roads, the sun starting to shine at his back.
As the riders met on Michigan Avenue, it was decided that they would ride south so they headed for Qman Hill and down to Indian Lake and back through Scott’s. Stop Ahead sprints were contested in the group and as the ride progressed the sun came out and the roads began to dry.
Hoosier Boy, who is somewhat new to the Minion Nation, was extremely strong and took several of the sprints proving his meddle in the peleton. WolfKing was complaining of a sore neck that was later determined to be a major pinched nerve. (Actually, the emergency room confirmed it later in the day.)
That might explain the finish.
The Minion Nation (O.K. three riders) lined up on the descent down Qman Hill to the finish in Galesburg. WolfKing, notorious for his descending ability due primarily to copious amounts of Big Mac Double Cheeseburgers, Doritos and Milk Shakes resulting in major "girth to descent ratio" that is off the charts, was dropping like a Mack Truck with a full load of washing machines down a major mountain pass and completely out of control. Meanwhile, Sharkman, seeing an opportunity, latched on to the WolfKing’s wheel as the trees around him began to blur as though he was traveling at warp speed on the Star Ship Enterprise!
As they crossed the bridge over I-94, WolfKing took it up yet another notch and Sharkman and Hoosier Boy held on to his wheel like it was the last chocolate donut in the box!
Sharkman, knowing WolfKing had a stiff neck, stayed to the big guy’s right and as road flattened and the bend before the stop ahead came up, WolfKing let up on the pedals and Sharkman made his move. Sharkman, using his new Sram Red grupo like he actually knew what he was doing, took the finish with WolfKing in second and Hoosier boy grabbing the final spot on the podium.
Total miles, 38….Average speed 18.7 mph!
The paparazzi lined the Champs le Galesburg as the tofosi waited at the Koffee Klutch for the late arrival of the peleton. Sharkman was interviewed and declared his victory based on his race tactics and his new Sram Red grupo!
Jamie served up the brew and asked where everyone was! She also took the above photo for the Update!
Sharkman signed autographs and allowed photo’s of his new grupo in front of the Klutch. He then spent the early afternoon cleaning the grit, dead worms and assorted road debris off of his new grupo! Ouch!
Can the Minions keep their record of consecutive weekends alive next week?
Will Sharkman show?
Will WolkKing visit the chiropractor and return to the peleton?
Did Hoosier Boy clean his bike after last weeks wet ride?
Get the answer to these and all your cycling questions by coming out to ride!
Next Ride this Saturday! 8:00 A.M. launch – Sharp!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
4th of July Twin Bill Huge Success!
Rainman wins!
Sharkman edged off podium in opener!
Cloud Girl loses chain, Tardette fixes it!
Bianchi Boy – Celebrity Rider – Single Speed Wonder!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
July 3 , 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – It was a 4th of July weekend Twin Bill last weekend with 22 Minion riders on Friday and 16 on Saturday! In what will be remembered as two perfect days of cycling in a row, the Minion Nation ruled on the roads of Galesburg this Holiday.
Proving he will do anything to get his name in the Update, Stingray was waiting in the driveway of the Shark Cove as the Sharkman opened his garage door at 6:50 A.M. The ride over to scenic Galesburg was just plain drop dead gorgeous on this unusual Friday morning ride.
The Sharkman was thinking it would be great to have 10 riders on this fine morning and was shocked to see 22 Minions take part in the opener of a two day set.
Of special interest, Jeff Webster, AKA Bianchi Boy and past long serving Minion, was in the Nation for the ride. Bianchi Boy is the former CEO of Carmichael Training Systems (CTS) (Coach to Lance Armstrong) and was riding on a single speed Bianchi Track Bike! Talk about style. A second Celebrity Rider for the day was Jerrod from Vail Colorado! The son of the famous Pirate was home for the holiday and wanted to join in on the festivities! Welcome Bianchi Boy and Jerrod, son of the Pirate!
Also joining the intrepid Minions was the now famous Peugeot Guy, with, you guessed it, a new personally fabricated seat post. In our last edition we commented that this classic rider had broken his seat post and the bike was so old they stopped making them in a 22mm size (we think they stopped around 1899). So he built one himself and he showed no sign of being out of shape after his absence. A true legend of the Peleton! (You can’t make this stuff up!)
Even the long absent WolfKing had returned to the Peleton! What a morning!
The Skipper was on hand to get things rolling and Luann waved to the Minion Nation as they passed the Klutch, chattering like a bunch of Minions on a holiday, clad in their best red, white and blue!
Falcon attempted to contest the opening sprint, but was shaken off by the Sharkman’s evasive maneuvers.
In a major mechanical, Cloud Girl threw here chain and Tardette assisted her in fixing it. (Editors note – we at the Update realize this is not really a major mechanical, but we like to piss off Stingray by giving the females of the peleton a lot of ink!)
Danimal also had a major breakdown when his front hub started to come apart. (Editors note – now this is truly a major mechanical!) Falcon gave him the keys to his truck so he was able to get to Falcon’s house and drive back to the start to get his truck.
Knute, last weeks Celebrity Rider who is now an official Minion, joined the group somewhere near the 89 crossing. With a name like Knute, you don’t need a nickname!
The Minions again picked up the pace going into the Country Club section in the run up to Rt. 43 and on through the cul de Norte.
The Minions snaked their way through the Bible Conference Hills, past Frona’s, through the Inlet sprint and on to the 89 crossing where the pace line formed up.
After crossing G Ave., Bissell Boy made a move to spread out the peleton before the finishing sprint. Though this seemed to spread the peleton out in small groups, they began to come together again at the foot of the ascent to the finish. Falcon, throwing himself on his sword, made an early move that finally did spread out the field. Minions were all over the road on the descent to the finish. In a dramatic kick, Rainman came out of no where to squeeze out Ironman with Dr. Dave taking third, who edged our intrepid hero, The Sharkman hisself of the podium!
Amazingly, Bianchi Boy, our celebrity rider for the day, contested the sprint on his single speed track bike!
The crowds were thick on the Champs le Galesburg as the Minion Nation waved to their fans and zipped up their jerseys for the sponsors. Almost the entire Minion Nation stopped at the Klutch for Koffee and Luann herself was there to pour out the great brew. Every seat was taken in the Klutch and the crowds gathered to get Cloud Girl and Tardette’s autographs.
WolfKing, wanting to insure his name was included in the Update, bought koffee for the Sharkman AND Bianchi Boy.
However, this was just a prelude to the night cap the next day!
Knute Takes the Tape!
QMan Returns to the Peleton!
The Hammer Returns!
Airman edged off the podium!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
July 4 , 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – In the night cap of this 4th of July twin bill, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was attending a wedding in Detroit and was not in attendance. But that didn’t stop 16 Minions from the start Saturday morning.
Back for a second day was former Celebrity Rider Bianchi Boy (you can’t be a celebrity rider two day’s in a row) and his single speed, along with his son and former Minion and today’s Celebrity Rider, Aaron the Hammer Webster riding Sharkman’s Cyclocross bike with WolfKing race wheels!
The returning Qman was another 4th of July Celebrity Rider! (Can this Holiday pack any more excitement in? We don’t think so.) Qman, one of the original Minions, was visiting from the great North for the weekend! Welcome back Qman and Hammer!
Reports of the race are sketchy, though it has been reported that the average speed for the day was a brisk 19.2.
Reports also indicate that Knute won the finish sprint on a classic steel bike with down tube shifters! What a stud!
Dr. Dave finished second and Falcon took the third spot on the podium, edging out Airman who actually got the day off from work!
In keeping with our policy concerning reporting the female Minions participation and our enjoyment in driving Stingray crazy, we would like to report that Cloud Girl and Tardette were not in attendance on the 4th, however Sheila, herein known as Sheira, who rode with the Minion Nation a couple of weeks ago, was in attendance.
Reports indicate that the Minions were all in a hurry to get to their 4th of July activities and did not stop at the Klutch, which was reported to the Commissioner for possible fines for not attending the post race press conference.
Who will be there next week?
Will there be any celebrity riders?
Has Boffo returned from L.A. with that white glove?
Does Boffo now have two gloves? And do they match?
Will anyone be riding a single speed track bike?
Will Stingray figure out another way to get his name in the Update?
You won’t want to miss next weeks ride to find out the answer to these and other important cycling questions!
Saturday - Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Sharkman edged off podium in opener!
Cloud Girl loses chain, Tardette fixes it!
Bianchi Boy – Celebrity Rider – Single Speed Wonder!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
July 3 , 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – It was a 4th of July weekend Twin Bill last weekend with 22 Minion riders on Friday and 16 on Saturday! In what will be remembered as two perfect days of cycling in a row, the Minion Nation ruled on the roads of Galesburg this Holiday.
Proving he will do anything to get his name in the Update, Stingray was waiting in the driveway of the Shark Cove as the Sharkman opened his garage door at 6:50 A.M. The ride over to scenic Galesburg was just plain drop dead gorgeous on this unusual Friday morning ride.
The Sharkman was thinking it would be great to have 10 riders on this fine morning and was shocked to see 22 Minions take part in the opener of a two day set.
Of special interest, Jeff Webster, AKA Bianchi Boy and past long serving Minion, was in the Nation for the ride. Bianchi Boy is the former CEO of Carmichael Training Systems (CTS) (Coach to Lance Armstrong) and was riding on a single speed Bianchi Track Bike! Talk about style. A second Celebrity Rider for the day was Jerrod from Vail Colorado! The son of the famous Pirate was home for the holiday and wanted to join in on the festivities! Welcome Bianchi Boy and Jerrod, son of the Pirate!
Also joining the intrepid Minions was the now famous Peugeot Guy, with, you guessed it, a new personally fabricated seat post. In our last edition we commented that this classic rider had broken his seat post and the bike was so old they stopped making them in a 22mm size (we think they stopped around 1899). So he built one himself and he showed no sign of being out of shape after his absence. A true legend of the Peleton! (You can’t make this stuff up!)
Even the long absent WolfKing had returned to the Peleton! What a morning!
The Skipper was on hand to get things rolling and Luann waved to the Minion Nation as they passed the Klutch, chattering like a bunch of Minions on a holiday, clad in their best red, white and blue!
Falcon attempted to contest the opening sprint, but was shaken off by the Sharkman’s evasive maneuvers.
In a major mechanical, Cloud Girl threw here chain and Tardette assisted her in fixing it. (Editors note – we at the Update realize this is not really a major mechanical, but we like to piss off Stingray by giving the females of the peleton a lot of ink!)
Danimal also had a major breakdown when his front hub started to come apart. (Editors note – now this is truly a major mechanical!) Falcon gave him the keys to his truck so he was able to get to Falcon’s house and drive back to the start to get his truck.
Knute, last weeks Celebrity Rider who is now an official Minion, joined the group somewhere near the 89 crossing. With a name like Knute, you don’t need a nickname!
The Minions again picked up the pace going into the Country Club section in the run up to Rt. 43 and on through the cul de Norte.
The Minions snaked their way through the Bible Conference Hills, past Frona’s, through the Inlet sprint and on to the 89 crossing where the pace line formed up.
After crossing G Ave., Bissell Boy made a move to spread out the peleton before the finishing sprint. Though this seemed to spread the peleton out in small groups, they began to come together again at the foot of the ascent to the finish. Falcon, throwing himself on his sword, made an early move that finally did spread out the field. Minions were all over the road on the descent to the finish. In a dramatic kick, Rainman came out of no where to squeeze out Ironman with Dr. Dave taking third, who edged our intrepid hero, The Sharkman hisself of the podium!
Amazingly, Bianchi Boy, our celebrity rider for the day, contested the sprint on his single speed track bike!
The crowds were thick on the Champs le Galesburg as the Minion Nation waved to their fans and zipped up their jerseys for the sponsors. Almost the entire Minion Nation stopped at the Klutch for Koffee and Luann herself was there to pour out the great brew. Every seat was taken in the Klutch and the crowds gathered to get Cloud Girl and Tardette’s autographs.
WolfKing, wanting to insure his name was included in the Update, bought koffee for the Sharkman AND Bianchi Boy.
However, this was just a prelude to the night cap the next day!
Knute Takes the Tape!
QMan Returns to the Peleton!
The Hammer Returns!
Airman edged off the podium!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
July 4 , 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – In the night cap of this 4th of July twin bill, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was attending a wedding in Detroit and was not in attendance. But that didn’t stop 16 Minions from the start Saturday morning.
Back for a second day was former Celebrity Rider Bianchi Boy (you can’t be a celebrity rider two day’s in a row) and his single speed, along with his son and former Minion and today’s Celebrity Rider, Aaron the Hammer Webster riding Sharkman’s Cyclocross bike with WolfKing race wheels!
The returning Qman was another 4th of July Celebrity Rider! (Can this Holiday pack any more excitement in? We don’t think so.) Qman, one of the original Minions, was visiting from the great North for the weekend! Welcome back Qman and Hammer!
Reports of the race are sketchy, though it has been reported that the average speed for the day was a brisk 19.2.
Reports also indicate that Knute won the finish sprint on a classic steel bike with down tube shifters! What a stud!
Dr. Dave finished second and Falcon took the third spot on the podium, edging out Airman who actually got the day off from work!
In keeping with our policy concerning reporting the female Minions participation and our enjoyment in driving Stingray crazy, we would like to report that Cloud Girl and Tardette were not in attendance on the 4th, however Sheila, herein known as Sheira, who rode with the Minion Nation a couple of weeks ago, was in attendance.
Reports indicate that the Minions were all in a hurry to get to their 4th of July activities and did not stop at the Klutch, which was reported to the Commissioner for possible fines for not attending the post race press conference.
Who will be there next week?
Will there be any celebrity riders?
Has Boffo returned from L.A. with that white glove?
Does Boffo now have two gloves? And do they match?
Will anyone be riding a single speed track bike?
Will Stingray figure out another way to get his name in the Update?
You won’t want to miss next weeks ride to find out the answer to these and other important cycling questions!
Saturday - Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Where was Boffo!
Falcon wins without an *!
Stingray makes a Headline!
Airman and Cloud Girl on time?
A New Bullet Bob Grandkid Announced!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
June 27, 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, arrived at the start of this week’s edition of the KK-TdG, he found Airman and Cloud Girl with their bikes unloaded and ready to ride! They were not about to be late two weeks in a row!
As has been the practice of this publication, we have strived to list all the riders in attendance at the weekly ride/race. Let’s face it; Minions like to see their names in print. However, as the ride has become more popular, the Update is having difficulty listing all those in attendance. This week 22 riders were present, with some joining the ride after the start. In addition, there were some new riders; a Rod, herein known as B-Rod, a Joe, a Sean and this weeks Celebrity Rider, Knute, the Ride Captain from the Kalamazoo Bike Club!
The Update has also learned that a particular Minion has mentioned that he could win every sprint and not get as much ink in this blog as Cloud Girl gets for showing up. So he made the headlines this week for no reason other than he showed up!
The big question in cycling circles all week was whether Boffo could defend his streak of consecutive wins.
But alas, no Boffo. What could be more important than defending his streak?
In a Shark Minion Update exclusive investigation, it was learned that Boffo had flown out to L.A. to be with the family of Michael Jackson while they mourned his untimely passing. Subsequent investigative efforts by this publication have learned the startling truth that none other than our own Boffo actually has the other white glove! A spokesman for the Jackson Family released a statement thanking Boffo for his ongoing support. It is unknown when our Boffo will return. (as Boffo himself often says, “This stuff writes itself!”)
The Skipper lead the Minions through town and Sharkman took the opening sprint with a lead out by Falcon.
Kellogg Korner had again been swept by our own Skipper, making for a very fast track through the Country Club section. As a matter of fact, this was the fastest pace of the season at 19.7 mph.
As the Minions made the G Ave. crossing, a pace line began to form with Bissell Boy, Sharkman, Zickman, Bullet Bob, Sooner and others leading the way. Sharkman found himself in the lead at the hill and again swore that would not happen again, just like he says every week.
As the Might Minion Nation crested the finish hill, Knute, Zickman, Bullet Bob and Falcon broke for the tape with a cast of thousands on their wheels.
As they bore down on the stop ahead, Falcon pulled ahead and Zickman and Knute were too close to call, so they both made the podium.
As the Minions rode down the Champs le Galesburg, it seemed quiet in comparison to Galesburg Days the previous week.
Jaime, our Barista at the Klutch, was waiting at the Klutch with plenty of Koffee as the press pushed Falcon and Zickman for the story on the finish and if they knew anything about the white glove Boffo had been seen wearing in previous rides.
Bullet Bob also announced the birth of Lucy Laura to his daughter Emily! A new Minion in the Minion Nation! Get the Update a photograph Bullet Bob! Congratulations to the Bullet Bob Tubay Family!
It was determined during Koffee that some riders could not make the 4th ride, but could make a Friday ride, so we have declared a first for this week end!
A July 4th double header!
Two rides this weekend!
Friday at 8:00 A.M. and Saturday at 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Ride one or ride both days!
Since it is the 4th of July, wear your red, white and blue in honor of the Holiday!
Stingray makes a Headline!
Airman and Cloud Girl on time?
A New Bullet Bob Grandkid Announced!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
June 27, 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belo News – As our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, arrived at the start of this week’s edition of the KK-TdG, he found Airman and Cloud Girl with their bikes unloaded and ready to ride! They were not about to be late two weeks in a row!
As has been the practice of this publication, we have strived to list all the riders in attendance at the weekly ride/race. Let’s face it; Minions like to see their names in print. However, as the ride has become more popular, the Update is having difficulty listing all those in attendance. This week 22 riders were present, with some joining the ride after the start. In addition, there were some new riders; a Rod, herein known as B-Rod, a Joe, a Sean and this weeks Celebrity Rider, Knute, the Ride Captain from the Kalamazoo Bike Club!
The Update has also learned that a particular Minion has mentioned that he could win every sprint and not get as much ink in this blog as Cloud Girl gets for showing up. So he made the headlines this week for no reason other than he showed up!
The big question in cycling circles all week was whether Boffo could defend his streak of consecutive wins.
But alas, no Boffo. What could be more important than defending his streak?
In a Shark Minion Update exclusive investigation, it was learned that Boffo had flown out to L.A. to be with the family of Michael Jackson while they mourned his untimely passing. Subsequent investigative efforts by this publication have learned the startling truth that none other than our own Boffo actually has the other white glove! A spokesman for the Jackson Family released a statement thanking Boffo for his ongoing support. It is unknown when our Boffo will return. (as Boffo himself often says, “This stuff writes itself!”)
The Skipper lead the Minions through town and Sharkman took the opening sprint with a lead out by Falcon.
Kellogg Korner had again been swept by our own Skipper, making for a very fast track through the Country Club section. As a matter of fact, this was the fastest pace of the season at 19.7 mph.
As the Minions made the G Ave. crossing, a pace line began to form with Bissell Boy, Sharkman, Zickman, Bullet Bob, Sooner and others leading the way. Sharkman found himself in the lead at the hill and again swore that would not happen again, just like he says every week.
As the Might Minion Nation crested the finish hill, Knute, Zickman, Bullet Bob and Falcon broke for the tape with a cast of thousands on their wheels.
As they bore down on the stop ahead, Falcon pulled ahead and Zickman and Knute were too close to call, so they both made the podium.
As the Minions rode down the Champs le Galesburg, it seemed quiet in comparison to Galesburg Days the previous week.
Jaime, our Barista at the Klutch, was waiting at the Klutch with plenty of Koffee as the press pushed Falcon and Zickman for the story on the finish and if they knew anything about the white glove Boffo had been seen wearing in previous rides.
Bullet Bob also announced the birth of Lucy Laura to his daughter Emily! A new Minion in the Minion Nation! Get the Update a photograph Bullet Bob! Congratulations to the Bullet Bob Tubay Family!
It was determined during Koffee that some riders could not make the 4th ride, but could make a Friday ride, so we have declared a first for this week end!
A July 4th double header!
Two rides this weekend!
Friday at 8:00 A.M. and Saturday at 8:00 A.M. – SHARP!
Ride one or ride both days!
Since it is the 4th of July, wear your red, white and blue in honor of the Holiday!
Sharkman shows off the Grand Shark Kids!
Boffo takes another!
MK named Celebrity Rider!
Belo News
Galesburg, MI
June 23, 2009
Galesburg, Mi. – Belonews – It was a Shark Family Extravaganza!
On a fantastic Galesburg Days Saturday, 17 Minions toed the line to begin yet another edition of the KK-TdG! Or were they all there in hopes of getting to meet the Grand Shark Kids?
Sharkman brought along his son-in-law and West Coast Minion Rider (and new rider), MK, who was named the celebrity rider for the week.
Most riders were on time for the start, however Cloud Girl and Airman made such a late appearance they tried to drive ahead in their car and jump on the peleton as it headed out of town. Unable to convince the tardy couple to park and join the peleton the intrepid Minion Nation continued on without them. (Cloud Girl gets mentioned even when she doesn't ride!)
Someone mentioned that the tardy couple did not want to take the harassment of being late during the ride, however the Sharkman would not let them off that easy and clearly wanted to know, “WHAT IS IT ABOUT 8:00 A.M. "SHARP" THAT THESE MINIONS DO NOT UNDERSTAND!”
STINGRAY (please note all caps and spelled correctly) lead the Sharkman out to the opening sprint, which the wily Shark took, going away.
The Minions did Sharkman proud by not leaving him and MK behind despite the pair encouraging the Minions to go ahead. MK, who had only started serious riding approximately 3 weeks earlier, did a great job holding on and made the entire ride from the Shark Cove, through the KK-TdG (40 miles) despite riding a 1988 Trek 1000 with down tube shifters and only 12 speeds (shades of Peugeot Guy!). It was MK’s longest ride to date!
Speaking of Peugeot Guy, the intrepid Minion has been missing in action due to a broken seat post. His search for a new seat post has been fruitless since they no longer make 22mm posts. Heck, the bike is approximately 100 years old!
On a fantastic Galesburg Days Saturday, 17 Minions toed the line to begin yet another edition of the KK-TdG! Or were they all there in hopes of getting to meet the Grand Shark Kids?
Sharkman brought along his son-in-law and West Coast Minion Rider (and new rider), MK, who was named the celebrity rider for the week.
Most riders were on time for the start, however Cloud Girl and Airman made such a late appearance they tried to drive ahead in their car and jump on the peleton as it headed out of town. Unable to convince the tardy couple to park and join the peleton the intrepid Minion Nation continued on without them. (Cloud Girl gets mentioned even when she doesn't ride!)
Someone mentioned that the tardy couple did not want to take the harassment of being late during the ride, however the Sharkman would not let them off that easy and clearly wanted to know, “WHAT IS IT ABOUT 8:00 A.M. "SHARP" THAT THESE MINIONS DO NOT UNDERSTAND!”
STINGRAY (please note all caps and spelled correctly) lead the Sharkman out to the opening sprint, which the wily Shark took, going away.
The Minions did Sharkman proud by not leaving him and MK behind despite the pair encouraging the Minions to go ahead. MK, who had only started serious riding approximately 3 weeks earlier, did a great job holding on and made the entire ride from the Shark Cove, through the KK-TdG (40 miles) despite riding a 1988 Trek 1000 with down tube shifters and only 12 speeds (shades of Peugeot Guy!). It was MK’s longest ride to date!
Speaking of Peugeot Guy, the intrepid Minion has been missing in action due to a broken seat post. His search for a new seat post has been fruitless since they no longer make 22mm posts. Heck, the bike is approximately 100 years old!
Now this would normally cause mere mortals to just purchase a new bike. Or at least tell their wives that they "Have to buy a new bike."
But not our Peugeot! He is actually having a new seat tube fabricated! What a stud! Hope it doesn’t take all summer!
The action at the front was fast and furious through the entire ride with quite a finish between Boffo, Bullet Bob and Zickman. To hear them tell about it at the Klutch at the post race festivities, you would think they were doing 60 mph as they crossed the line. At least that is the way Sharkman and MK heard the story!
But Boffo won, yet again and was flapping his shoes and nose at the Klutch during the post race festivities. He was followed by Zickman and Bullet Bob.
As the Minion Nation made their way down the Champs le Galesburg during Galesburg Days the crowds went wild!
At the Klutch, the paparazzi was at a fevered pitch in anticipation of meeting the Grand Shark Kids and they did not disappoint!
Make a late, but grand entrance to the Klutch, little Sharkboy and Sharkgirl came in with their Shark Mom’s and Lava Girl to cheering crowds, sign autographs and pose for photo's.
Flashes went off everywhere as the proud Sharkman showed off his Grand Sharklet’s. Sharkboy was also sporting his Shark Jersey!
Thanks to all the Minions and to Mrs. Bullet Bob for coming out to meet the Shark Family!
But not our Peugeot! He is actually having a new seat tube fabricated! What a stud! Hope it doesn’t take all summer!
The action at the front was fast and furious through the entire ride with quite a finish between Boffo, Bullet Bob and Zickman. To hear them tell about it at the Klutch at the post race festivities, you would think they were doing 60 mph as they crossed the line. At least that is the way Sharkman and MK heard the story!
But Boffo won, yet again and was flapping his shoes and nose at the Klutch during the post race festivities. He was followed by Zickman and Bullet Bob.
As the Minion Nation made their way down the Champs le Galesburg during Galesburg Days the crowds went wild!
At the Klutch, the paparazzi was at a fevered pitch in anticipation of meeting the Grand Shark Kids and they did not disappoint!
Make a late, but grand entrance to the Klutch, little Sharkboy and Sharkgirl came in with their Shark Mom’s and Lava Girl to cheering crowds, sign autographs and pose for photo's.
Flashes went off everywhere as the proud Sharkman showed off his Grand Sharklet’s. Sharkboy was also sporting his Shark Jersey!
Thanks to all the Minions and to Mrs. Bullet Bob for coming out to meet the Shark Family!
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