GET YOUR RSVP IN FOR BEU! NOW!

Belo News
August 2, 2017

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - On Saturday, the Bloody 'ell 'undred will be only one week away! Don't forget to get your RSVP in immediately so Gazelle Girl and Zyckmann can plan accordingly! This annual event is a blast!
Here is all the information you need!

WHERE ARE ALL THESE RIDERS COMING FROM?!?

The Nation ready to ride!

YETI BOY'S BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!

WHERE WAS GAZELLE GIRL?

WHERE IS MAD DOG? INVESTIGATION CONTINUES!

GOODBYE TO CUZ?!?

DOMANE BIKE FOR SALE? OH, THE HUMANITY!

SOUTH ROUTE THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News
July 29, 2017

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke chilly and bright over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bound from his bed, clicked on the coffee and looked at the temperature outside the cozy windows of the Cove.

Mighty Monk was back!

58 degrees? What the.....

Is is just us, or does it seem to be hot all week, then cool on Saturday mornings? The old Shark padded his way down to the Shark Locker Room and dug out his arm warmers (cotton socks with the toes cut out), pulled on his Iron Horse Jersey and headed back up the stairs to get his bike ready.

As the Sharkman launched from the Cove, Birthday Boy, Yeti Boy pulled up, confirming that he had baked his world famous "Cinnamon Rolls" and Lady Yeti Girl and Lava Girl would be bringing them to the Klutch later! Is this a great country or what!?!

Soon, Nikeboy arrived explaining he would only ride over as he had to get back for the Cereal City Tri that would be running out Watkins Road later that morning.

As the three riders rode headed out on the road, Reb pulled up in his Jeep to offer Yeti Boy his regards for a Happy Birthday! This Yeti Boy guy is pretty famous!

Half Moon was back!

As the riders headed west, they came across X-Rod waiting at Stone Jug and wondered where Skittles was. Though he claimed he was at the Human Society at 7 a.m., the riders went by at around 7:05-10 a.m. and NO SKITTLES! He actually didn't catch them until the start!

The riders again, had to traverse the bridge, but made short work of it and went on to the start where the masses were gathering.

Again, a major turn out of riders, both old and new! Belo News is launching an investigation into why all the new riders! Each week we seem to have a couple of new riders and Belo News wants to remind riders that there are concerns about having too many riders and problems with safety, so, though riders will not be turned away, Minions are encouraged not to invite new riders and if they do, they are responsible for them on their first rides.

Virgin Minion Al!
(MNTBD)

Two new riders, though both claimed they had ridden before, were Mike and Al (MNTBD). Also Kevin, who joins the "Lucky Ones" on occasion was in attendance! Welcome the mighty Minion Nation! Half Moon had also returned along with Mighty Monk, on his first ride since doing the Kashi Tour! Welcome back, Minions.

Belo News is sad to report that new Minion and shirt tailed relative of our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, Cuz was on his last ride of the season. Cuz, who just joined the Nation earlier this season, is the Linebacker Coach for the Western Michigan Bronco's and will be coaching football going forward. We hate to see this new Minion gone for the rest of the season and he embodies the characteristics of a great Minion. Great, strong rider, who doesn't seem to need to prove it, cares for his fellow riders and rides safe, and has been such a great addition to the Nation. The Nation holds a spot for Cuz and is hoping he will purchase a mountain or fat bike so he can ride with the Nation this winter!

After Sharkman took a photo of Half Moon, she moved to the back of the starting group, where he started to take another photo before being reminded that was Half Moon. Well, in his defence there are so many new riders, what do you expect!

Virgin Minion Mike!
(MNTBD)

Once again, the "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl as absent. After acknowledging that the previous week that she had partied a bit hard the previous evening, knew that she would miss this week, and the threat of rain, she had slept in. This week, however, she did have an excuse but the Nation was again disappointed that Gazelle Girl and Toesetter were not in the mix!

The start photo was taken with Yeti Boy in his Iron Horse Jersey and Zyckmann in his Colorado Jersey. Belo News has learned that the legend, Zyckmann, did not purchase an Iron Horse Jersey because he did not beat the train, which Sharkman chided him about, because if you simply FINISH  the Iron Horse, you deserve a jersey!
The count at the start was somewhere around 28 and riders kept jumping on as the ride developed. It was guesstimated that there were between 35-37 riders on the beautiful morning.

As they started out, the Nation was again, good about riding two abreast on the way to the Klutch.

The Early Morning Koffee group waved as their hero's rode by and amazingly, the long line of riders made it through the light in one pass.

Virgin Minion Kevin!
(MNTBD)

Skittles led the A Group out and it looked like 7 riders in total chose the faster route, while Falcon led our hero out to the first sprint.

Sharkman attempted to get a count at the G Ave. crossing but had a hard time, again guesstimating around 28-29 riders. Others continue to jump on, with Kid Doster going back to the A Group.

The ride moved along quickly and in the Kountry Klub section, legendary rider Zyckmann, sporting his Colorado Jersey, made a move for the route 43 sprint that no one responded to, giving him the win walking away.

It was that kind of morning in that the lines were clean, riders kept the pace up, but nothing strongly contested.

As the Nation came through the Holy Rollers, Flash Gordon reported a flat tire just as the Nation pulled up to the Feed Zone.

The A Group arrived just in time and Skittle took over. Paperboy, who lives next door to the restaurant, was able to get his floor pump as Skittles quickly changed the tire out. However, as he was pumping it up a load "bang" was heard as the tire was lost.

We're going to miss you Cuz!

A Minion coughed up another tube and Skittles started all over. This time it took and the time on both changes was less than 6 minutes! Way to go, Skittles!

As the Nation crossed the Digital Divide, a very swift, effective, pace line formed up! No, seriously!

The speed clicked up as both the A and B Groups were back together. Sharkman commented he loved when the pace line picks up and the Nation can hang on to the big guns!

As the pace continued to climb, Skittles moved to the front and claimed the GGG Spot for Gazelle Girl, for her second win in abstensia in two weeks!

Skittles was quoted as stating, "Let it be know that though I took the GGG Spot Sprint with other people, I was thinking of Gazelle Girl the whole time!" It was a victory for America!

Reached for comment later, Gazelle Girl had the following to say, "Awwww, I am touched. I was drinking a Bloody Mary about that time. I'm sure glad some jack ass didn't get my sprint in my absence. Oh, the humanity!" Well said, Gazelle Girl, well said!

As the Nation headed south to the final sprint, Hossman stated he didn't have anything left to do a "Hossman" but it wasn't needed as the group slowly built speed and the group spread out. Again, there was a very well organized pace line as the Nation crested the top of the final hill to the finish.

Everyone seemed to be moving in unison as some of the Nation rushed to the front, where again, Kiwi captured the final honor on the day!

Sharkman photobombs his own photo!

The fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's move along to the Klutch, where Yeti Boy's wife, Yeti Girl and Lava Girl were waiting with Yeti Boy's fresh baked, world famous, cinnamon rolls! Is this a great country or what!?!

But that ain't all! Bissell Boy stepped up and bought koffee for everyone! Oh, the humanity! Free cinnamon rolls AND free koffee! It can't get any better than that, Bunkie! Thanks Yeti Boy and Bissell Boy!

After a rousing verse of Happy Birthday to Yeti Boy, and a huge blow from the 69 year old, with everyone worried he'd pass out, the rolls were cut and man, they deserved their reputation as the hungry Minions dug in!

Yeti Boy's famous cinnamon rolls!

The Press Conference went late as the Nation was enjoying their freebies, talking of the great riding and wondering how it can get any better!

Well it can!

This week is the Shermanator, so the Nation will be heading south and doing the "Tour of South Central Kalamazoo County!" Sharkman will be charging for the sites this time. Remember, $.50 (no change) per site! You won't want to miss this one Bunkie!

Saturday, August 5 (can it really be August already?)

Yeti got all the candles! He is a force of nature!

Launch Time - 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

REMEMBER, YOU NEED TO COME TO THE START! THE NATION IS HEADING SOUTH!

Be there!

Iron Horse Jersey Day!

The Klutch was rocking!

WHERE IS MAD DOG? INVESTIGATION CONTINUES!

Belo News
August 2, 2017

Anyone having information on this guy
should contact the Commissioner of
Cycling immediately!

Shark Cove, Mi. - It was reported earlier that an investigation has been launched concerning the where abouts of the rider known as Mad Dog. The perennial Minion has been missing in action since ..... well, it has been so long, Belo News can't even remember how long he has been missing.

An APB (all points bulletin) has been issued for any information leading to getting this guy back into the Nation. Once known for never missing a ride, there are concerns that he has gone to the dark side and has taken up knitting.

Oh, the humanity!

Come back, Mad Dog, all is forgiven!





FOR SALE! JUST IN!

Belo News
August 2, 2017

Shark Cove, Mi. - This just came in from Stingray and boy, what a deal! Sharkman just wishes this bike was smaller!

From Stingray (and please read the bold!):

Dear Editors of the Belo News,
Would you mind putting this ad in your blog? Oh, and give that Sharkman a raise and a promotion!

For Sale:
2015 Trek Domane 5.2
Carbon frame with ISO-coupler
Shimano Ultegra (very smooth shifting and comfortable hoods)
3T aluminum bars
Mavic Ksyrium Elite wheels
Never crashed, no scratches, dings, chips
$1700

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

-->

THREAT OF RAIN DOESN'T STOP NATION!

The Nation ready to ride, despite threat
of rain!

GAZELLE GIRL STREAK BROKEN!?! OH, THE HUMANITY!

OH, YA, AND WHERE IS MAD DOG?!?

IRON HORSE JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED COMING UP FAST!

BOOK REVIEW - DOWN HILLS DON'T COME FREE!

Belo News
July 22, 2017

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke damp and dark over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bound from bed and ran to the window to see if the predicted rain storms had arrived. The previous evening, as he was playing led uke in his band, Banjovi, out at Bowmans, he was watching the weather on the TV's above the bar, predicting an Armageddon of rain and storms predicted for his launch time!

As regular readers know, Sharkman hates those mornings when it is difficult to make the call. Call off the ride at 6:30 a.m. and the sun is shining at 8 a.m. Go, and an hour later it is raining like the waterfall on the southern route. Oh, the humanity.

Sharkman quickly went to the Shark Radar and as he sipped coffee with the green glow of radar on his face, he began to smile. The rain looked like it had passed and there was no sign of big rains west of the Field of Dreams!

Game on!

Anyone having information on the
where abouts of this Minion
should contact the Commissioner of
Cycling immediately!

The streets were a bit wet as Yeti Boy rolled into the driveway, but both riders were pleased that they were going to get their ride in!

No Nikeboy (he is a bit like Rainman) and no Reb this morning, however, Skittles, who was late, caught on to the two riders as they headed west on Michigan Ave. Interestingly, the rides noticed that they did not see even one car in the trip over to the start. They did have to climb the fence to get through the bridge but were pleased to be able to get through at all.

The three wondered what type of turn out they would find at the start but to their surprise, there were a number of riders. 10 Riders in all, though Ray of Sunshine arrived too late for the start photo.

All were surprised that the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" didn't make it to the start, but all were sure she would jump on en route.  Ray of Sunshine arrived as the train was pulling out of the station and missed the start photo.

In addition to Sharkman, Yeti Boy, Skittles, and Ray of Sunshine, X-Rod, Kiwi, Cuz, Bissell Boy, Brewman, and B-Rod were all ready to rock it on the damp roads.

As the Nation rode two abreast on their way to the start, the main chatter was "where is Gazelle Girl" and was her attendance record in jeopardy? That lead to, "where in the heck has Mad Dog been?"

Mad Dog hasn't been seen since 4th of July weekend and Minions discussed putting a Search Party together to locate the former expresso drinker and Minion regular.

Where in the world is Mad Dog?!!

Anyone who has information leading to the discovery of where this rider is need to report it to the Commissioner of Cycling immediately! Your Nation awaits!

Bissell Boy holding kourt at the Klutch.

We digress.......as the Nation headed north, Ray of Sunshine shared he was on his cross bike, as was Brewman, and therefore he did not want to mix it up on a hard A Group ride. Though he made this comment, and there was no A Group, the cross bike didn't seem to slow him in anyway!

Ray of Sunshine and Skittles led our hero out to the first sprint where the old Shark took a count of 10 total riders.

The group headed through the next sprint, the col de Twin Lakes and on to the Yorkville Church.

As the group was making it's way towards the Kountry Klub section, Cuz had a flat tire and was near the back of the peloton. This has been an unlikely position for the new rider as he has usually been in the front of the peloton. However, he shared that he was "on empty." When questioned he said, "No, really. I'm on empty. I had a colonoscopy yesterday and I'm empty!"

Unfortunately, the lead group did not hear the call, "mechanical" and kept riding.

X-Rod was on the job and rode like a mad man to close the gap and and notify the lead group of the problem.

Skittles did a lot of the pulling all morning!

After a while, Cuz and his support team were back and the ride continued!

Though not particularly fast (19.0 mph average) Sharkman stated he thought it was one of the great rides of the year despite the fact that both the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" and Mad Dog were missing. The pace was steady, the sprints were briskly contested. But everyone rode smooth, other than the flat there were no delays, and Sunshine and Skittles pulled like fast Thoroughbred's at the front for a lot of the ride!

 Through the Holy Rollers and on to the Inlet, the mighty Minion Nation rode!

At the Digital Divide, the traffic seemed lighter than usual and the Nation crossed as one and started their pace line, which also worked like a fine tune Swiss watch.

When it came time for Gazelle Girl to get into position, the Nation looked in bewilderment, but Sharkman declared her the winner of the sprint in abstentia! It was another "Victory for America!"

Brewman and B-Rod discussing strategy.

Ray of Sunshine and Skittles went to the front early to pull the Nation to the final sprint. As each pealed off, it left only Sharkman at the front and it always drives him crazy when he takes over and he hears riders behind him say, "slowing..."

Out of nowhere, Sharkman heard a voice, "I'll get  you to the top of the hill as best I can!"

It was none other than Sharkman's wingman, Yeti Boy, giving his all as a true Minion!

Sharkman was heard to reply, "I'll give it all I can but I'm spent!"

What, you might ask, are the two oldest guys in the peloton doing at the front, pulling the Nation to the final ascent to the finish? Sharkman and Yeti Boy didn't know either!

At the top, Sharkman thanked Yeti and went around him but it was not enough to hold of the cast of thousands...well, the cast of ten, who came around him.

The old Shark, after getting passed by most of the Nation, did get a second wind and got up to 5th place out of the 10 riders!

Meanwhile, at the front, Skittles led but suddenly, out of nowhere, Kiwi flew by to capture the finish ahead of Skittles, while we think B-Rod took the final spot on the podium.

Kiwi waiting for his
iced Koffee!

The fans went crazy on the Champs le Galesburg. Sharkman thought the threat of rain might keep the crowds down, but there were at least 3 people cheering our hero's on, which is triple the previous weeks attendance at the finish.

Seven of the ten riders stopped at the Klutch, where the locals asked the rider if they got wet.

Well, yes, but not from any rain, but from the wet roads. The Nation never got rained on and for the most part, the roads were dry. It was a victory for America!

Great discussion, koffee and camaraderie at the Klutch.

Fortunately for Sharkman, he also had Yeti Boy and Skittles to pull his tired dorsal back to the Shark Cove! Is the a great country or what?!?

You won't want to miss this weeks edition!

It is Iron Horse Jersey Day!

What, you don't have an Iron Horse Jersey? Well go out to Durango and get one! The Nation will also expect the President of the Western States Mighty Minion Nation Chapter, the Durango Kid, to wear his out in Durango when he rides Saturday (and we'll see if he is reading Belo News!).

That's right, Yeti Boy and Zyckmann, get those Iron Horse Jersey's out and wear them with pride!

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS COMING UP FAST!


Belo News
July 20, 2017

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - The 6th annual Bloody 'ell 'undred is coming up! ALL the details are in the flyer included here. Read up, Bunkie! Don't forget to RSVP Gazelle Girl ASAP!

BOOK REVIEW - DOWN HILLS DON'T COME FREE!

Belo News
July 26, 2017

Gull Lake, Mi. - In an effort to class up Belo News, we include this in depth book review by legend of the peloton, Stryker Guy, who actually knows the author!

According to SG, the author, Jerry Holl gave up a lucrative career as a managing partner at Piper Jaffrey, bought a bike and camping equipment, flew to Anchorage and rode to Mexico!

The book is titled, "Down Hills Don't Come Free."

The book is about his trip and Stryker Guy, in his in depth review said, "It's good!"

That is good enough for us at Belo News! Where else can you get stuff like this?!? Is this a great country or what?!?

Attached is a link to more information on the book!

http://downhillsdontcomefree.com/

Stryker Guy gave it the ultimate rating when he said, "the author would make a great Minion!"

Nough said!


Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

WILDMAN RETURNS TO THE KLUTCH!

Bissell Kit Day!

SHARKMAN RIDES A CLASSIC!

STYKER GUY BUYS AND THE NATION TAKES!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED INVITE IS HERE!

MAKE A WISH JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

ACCUSATIONS OF IMPROPER BIKE PROPPING!?!

Belo News
July 15, 2017

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and a bit cool, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bound from his Shark bed with a great deal of trepidation.  With thoughts of the previous weeks crash, the major increase in riders this season and most importantly the thought that he would be riding his 1988 Trek 1000 with down tube shifters, weighed heavy on his shark brain.....

Celebrity Rider and Sharkmans
sharklet, Nicole was on hand!

Celebrity Rider, Nicole would be back, but not riding to the start. She would be riding Sharkman's beloved Litepeed, while rode his old Trek. It had been a while since the Nation had seen down tube shifters. Actually, the last rider to use them was Legendary Minion, Peugeot Guy, who hasn't been seen this season.

He ran back down to the Shark Basement/Bike Shop to get some arm warmers as he had felt a chill as he pumped his tires and when he returned, Yeti Boy and Nikeboy were waiting to launch.

As they headed to the start, Nikeboy and Yeti Boy marveled at the old world technology on his old Trek. Sharkman, not to be deterred, ignored their comments and on the way out Watkins, came across Reb, who would be riding the entire ride on this fine Saturday morning.

As the riders approached the Eaton Plant, they saw a light to the rear and thought it might be Mad Dog (ya, who is Mad Dog?) but it turned out to be Skittles! Skittles said he got a late start and had to "ride like hell" to catch on with the group.

New Minion, Ray, now Ray of
Sunshine!

The four were able to "climb" across the bridge this week and as they approached the start, Sharkman noticed his daughter, Celebrity Rider Nicole, was already getting her bike ready to ride.

Again there was a very large turn out at the start for the ride.

Two new riders who claimed they were not Minion Virgins, Ray, who was named Ray of Sunshine and Mike who was named, Shonger, though his last name is Shong, that name is in question as a Minion name and the Nation reserved the right to change it at a future date.

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Sunshine and Shonger!

Vice President of Moral and Sweetheart of the Peloton, Gazelle Girl, had prepared a get well card for Wildman and everyone had a chance to sign it!

Bissell Team Kit Day seemed to be a big success and several sprints throughout the day were won by someone in Bissell Kit.

Mike, AKA Shonger during the ride!

Sharkman asked Boatman, who had informed him earlier, of a detour do to new chip and seal. The nation would be turning right instead of left at the summit of the col de Twin Lakes, then heading past the Yorkville Church from there.

Everyone took a shot at Sharkman's old Trek, before he lead the Nation out.

Skittles was volunteered to lead the A Group as the Nation headed out of town.

Point of importance here:

It was reported to Sharkman that some of the residents of Galesburg have not been happy with the Nation's starts taking up the entire lane heading towards the Klutch. Since the Nation wants to keep the residence on our side, going forward the Nation will ride two abreast to the Klutch. Remember, when you hear "car back" or "two abreast" get over to the right and start a double pace line.

The Sharkman counted northward of 30 Minions at the start and at the A Group split, 4 of the Nation headed out.

Rainman was back in the fold!

Hossman was making his season debut and as though he never left, went to the front to lead out our intrepid hero, the Sharkman. Gazelle Girl also led our hero for a time until Rainman, who was also back after a long hiatus, took over and led the old Shark to the first sprint win.

As the Nation headed north over G Ave., Sharkman took a count of around 30 and with the 4 that went on to the A Group, and the two riders than jumped on later, the count was estimated at 35 riders, again reminding everyone that though the Nation will not turn riders away, we should not be inviting riders to the ride.

As Sharkman was learning how hard it was to go back to down tube shifters (at least they were index shift), the Nation headed up the col de Twin Lakes where Toesetter had a flat tire.  As the nation waited at the sprint stop, the A Group latched back on.f

After Toesetters tire was fixed, the Nation headed out to the Yorkville Church from the opposite direction. Sharkman was feeling the pain of down tube shifters as the speed picked up in the Kountry Klub section and up to the Rt. 43 sprint.

The pace was brisk as the nation circled the lake.

Dreamboat returned after the Kashi
tour and seemed to be pretty
full of himself, considering those
shorts!

At the Digital Divide, there was again, such a large group, the Nation had to make crossings in waves. We remind all riders that they should not bolt across in front of cars, as someone may follow not knowing a car is coming. Crossing should be in shifts when traffic is heavy. Additionally, the Minions who cross first should stop and wait, not slow roll. This causes even more safety issues for motorists and passing different groups of riders and for riders thinking they are being left behind.

The pace line again picked up and Gazelle Girl and her entourage/team, flew to the front and again, she captured her sprint for America!

Sharkman was happy to have Hossman back in the Nation as he immediately went to the front for the final sprint and was strong enough to string out the peloton the way Sharkman likes.

Sharkman was up near the front for a while, but once he got to the final ascent, and reached down to shift, he lost any feeble momentum he had and couldn't get it back, so we have no idea who won the final sprint but rumor had it that they were wearing Bissell Kit! Oh, the humanity, it was a victory for America!

Toesetter at the start and before
his flat tire!

The crowds were wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation road into town and on to the Koffee Klutch for the Press Conference.

Stryker Guy sprinted ahead to buy the Koffee and announced that Minions could order anything they wanted! This caused a frenzie as some started taking paintings off the wall but were stopped when two were caught trying to take the koffee maker. Meanwhile, Greyhound ordered pie ala mode that was enough to feed several people!

Wildman was in attendance to not only get his get well card and to show everyone how well he was doing in his new cast, but also to sign autographs!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Meanwhile, Easty was giving Sharkman a lecture on parting with some of his cash to buy a new bike as Sharkman was telling him he was still driving a 16 year old Pontiac Vibe with 150,000 miles on it! Oh, the humanity!

The Klutch virtually rocking with all the exuberance of a great ride, Stryker Guy's buying koffee and having Wildman back in the Nation! This is a great country!

Brewman "sucking it in" for the photo!

This week will be Make a Wish Jersey Day!

In honor of all the Minions/Team Taylor riders, the Nation will be decked out in any Make a Wish/Team Taylor/Eaton Make a Wish Kit!

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

The Nation waits for Toesetter.

Stryker Guy and Zyckmann,
showing off their Bissell Kit!

Wildman was back and smiling with
his Get Well Card!

Wildman is much happier with
this cast than the other!

The man of the hour, waiting for
the bill for damages!

Greyhound and his pie ala mode!

Is this a great country or what?!?

The Nation rocks the Klutch!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED INVITE IS HERE!


Belo News
July 20, 2017

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - The 6th annual Bloody 'ell 'undred is coming up! ALL the details are in the flyer included here. Read up, Bunkie!

ACCUSATIONS OF IMPROPER BIKE PROPPING!?!

Belo News
July 15, 2017

In properly propped?
Is it "bike abuse?"
We report, you decide!

Shark Cove, Mi. - An altercation was reported after koffee, when Dreamboat accused Rainman of "impropery" propping his bike against the Klutch, exposing his steed to getting knocked over and damaged. Dreamboat launched into a sermon on bike safety to which those riders present began rolling their eyes. Dreamboat apparently considers improper propping as bike abuse....a very serious matter.

Later that day, the Commissioner of Cycling received a "strongly worded email" from Dreamboat, along with photographic evidence of continued abuse when Rainman got to the parking lot at the start and used the rear tire of his car to lean his Cervelo on. In Dreamboats own words, and we quote,

"Picture for the blog on Rainman's utter disregard for bike safety.  He told me it was fine because of "double rubber contact."

Utterly hilarious!

An investigation will be launched!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

-->

CRASH IN THE NATION!

Wildman sporting his new cast!
Oh, the humanity!

WILDMAN OUT 6-8 WEEKS WITH BROKEN ARM!

B-ROD REPEATS IN WIN!

CELEBRITY RIDERS LOVED RIDE DESPITE MISHAP!

BREWMAN ROCKS "WEAR ANY JERSEY YOU WANT" DAY!

BISSELL KIT DAY THIS
SATURDAY!


Belo News
July 8, 2017

Shark Cove, Mi. - It was a morning like no other!

As dawn broke warm and bright over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was excited because his daughter and son in law would be riding with the Nation that day.

The Nation with Celebrity Riders, the Great Moultini and Tricky Nicki!

However, neither had been on the bike in a while and thought  53+ miles would be a bit much so they would drive to the start, while Sharkman rode over with Yeti Boy, who needed to return quickly, Nikeboy and X-Rod.

Sharkman does a selfie.
Yes, we know, he stinks at it!

As they arrived at the start, the area was loaded with riders getting their steeds ready to ride. Soon, the Great Moultini and Tricky Nicki arrived and got their bikes off the car. There were several returning riders, PT included and it would turn out that providence put young PT back in the peloton for this fateful mornings ride. Cheddarhead also returned for his first Minion ride in quite some time, another fateful return to the Nation.

After  a series of photos, even more riders rode in, one of whom drove in just as the Nation was getting ready to launch. The rider was told he had one minute to be ready, a time limit he met (good Minion material) and then introduced himself as Mark. He was asked how he found the ride and he stated that he had seen the "peloton" riding around the lake and he asked someone who told him about the ride. MMMmmmm.....I guess he didn't want to reveal his source......remember, we don't turn riders away, but we should not be inviting more!

The Great Moultini, Sharkman and Tricky Nicki!

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Mark, MNTBD (Minion Name to Be Determined)!

Also, Belo News finally got a photo of "Clark" who will now be known as Bulldog.  Bulldog had also heard of the ride around the lake and had actually been  joining on as the Nation circumvented the course, making it difficult to get a photo. Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Bulldog!

Sharkman asked if there were any A Group Riders and since Skittles was on board, he knew there could be.

As the Nation went past the Klutch, the barista and early morning group were taking the count. The tail end of the Nation had a hard time making the turn before the light change but they were all on board.

Former Minion virgin, now veteran,
Bulldog!

Sharkman thought there were upwards of 30 riders at the start and a few more joined on as the ride headed north.

Skittles turned off at the A Group split, but no one followed so he returned to the B Group for the remainder of the ride and most were glad as he did a far amount of pulling at the front.

B-Rod, then the Great Moultini, pulled our hero to the first sprint, which he took in a blaze of speed!

Sharkman again, tried to take a count but lost the number after about 33 riders.....

The Shark was feeling good and was "pressing the flesh" at the back of the Nation as he talked about his Sharklets being at the Cove for a whole 10 days!

The Nation gathered up at the summit of the col de Twin Lakes, crossed Rt. 89 and then it happened.

As the disclaimer says at the end of each Belo News (or most) "Cycling is an inherently dangerous sport" and today proved that....

Virgin Minion Mark!
Might be called "Minute Man" for his
quick response to being ready!

As the Nation turned on to DE, and riders bunched up a bit, Stryker Guy inadvertently touched his wheel with the rider's wheel in front of him and went down, which caused a chain reaction in the peloton that took down several riders.

Normally, Belo News would not name names when there is an issue, however, being the class act that he is, Stryker Guy asked that we do. He was very apologetic and actually called and/or emailed people involved, including Sharkman.

Let Belo news start by saying.......

There is no need for an apology to the Nation! 

We have all been there! 

We have all either touched a wheel and saved it, or we've come close and had a big sigh of relief that we didn't touch the wheel ahead of us and crash or take anyone down. It only takes a second to lose concentration and it happens. Stryker Guy said he had looked up for a second and when he looked back down, he was touching the wheel in front of his. 

WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT IS LIKE!

Anyone who has done any group riding long enough has experienced this.

Man of the day, PT!

That is why communications is so important!

That is why it is also important to shout out "SLOWING" when there is a slow down, or "STANDING" when we stand as we tend to push the bike back when we do. That we signal when we want back into the pace line. 

Lately there has been a lack of pointing out pot holes and road debris and other issues. The Nation needs to communicate!

Communication is key in the peloton and the Nation has been very fortunate that there have not been more instances of these types. When you are in the peloton, you need to communicate and also be watchful for those who do not communicate and point out their error. 

This is the first major incident since a rider got hit by a deer several years ago. That is a credit to the Nation and the way we ride. The Sharkman worries about sprint finishes, but quite interestingly, this occurred as the nation was sitting up after a turn. It can happen in a split second.

All the more reason that we need to ALWAYS be watching out for one another!

Sharkman describes the crash, "I didn't know what hit me. Someone on my left skidded into me and my bike was out from under me immediately. I went over the handle bars and sort of "tucked and rolled" on my right side. When I got up my first comment was sort of stupid as I blurted out, "What just happened?" As I laid on the road, two riders actually rode over me as I ducked to protect my head and face. I was sort of dazed as everything seemed confusing at first."

It was "Wear Any Jersey You Want Day"
and Brewman did not disappoint!

The Shark had road rash on his chest where he had hit his handlebars, on his side, knees and also bruised his previously bruised shin and had a cut on his back. His bike was sort of a mess, and Zyckmann and Rosie came back to help him to correct some of the issues. His handle bars were at a 90 degree angle with his wheel and his seat had twisted. The Shark needed to use his Alien tool to fix them with Rosie's assistance.

Meanwhile, Wildman took the biggest hit as he went down right behind the Sharkman and sustained a broken radius (arm) near the wrist, along with major road rash and bruised ribs. Belo News followed up with Wildman today and has learned that he will have surgery on the arm on Thursday, July 13 and should have complete range of motion within days!

That was great news for the guitar playing rider and his band, Banjovi, will be out at Bowmans on July 21 and the intrepid Wildman is planning on playing his guitar!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Luckily, Zyckmann was on the case and diagnosed that it was probably broken and that he would need to get medical attention. As luck would have it, PT (Luke) lived two doors from the crash and Nike Boy and Hoosier Boy both volunteered, along with PT, to get him to the house as Wildman called his wife to come and get him.

Hoosier Boy at the start after a brief
Season hiatus. Good thing too!

Big shout out to PT (Luke) and his wife Laura who took care of Wildman while he waited for his wife to arrive. Wildman shared his gratitude and apologizes for messing up the multiple towels offered to stem the bleeding. He had a lot of blood from his road rash and arm.....

Cheddarhead also took a hard fall and went to the Emergency Room after he got home. Though loaded with road rash, fortunately, nothing was broken.

Other riders went down, and Sharkman tried to follow up with those who did, later in the day. However, Sharkman was a "bit out of sorts" and wasn't sure of all those who had gone down.

The ride continued after Wildman was safely at PT's house.

The Nation headed up to the Yorkville Church, past Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and up the col de Norte. The ride was quick with a lot of talk about the crash.

Dr. Dave joined on, wearing a wild Spartan Jersey and kit, as the Nation went through the Holy Rollers.

Also, Nike Boy and Hoosier Boy met the Nation as they headed south after helping Wildman.

Don't know what Yeti Boy was telling Zyckmann,
but he looked serious!

It took two waves to get the Nation across the Digital Divide, where a nice pace line got going with Skittles doing yeoman pulls at the front.

Right on schedule, Zyckmann and Skittles took Gazelle Girl to the front to capture her GGG Spot Sprint.

As the Nation headed south, another pace line was formed with Skittles at the front.

Again, he pulled for a looooong time before relinquishing the lead to the Great Moultini.

As the Nation crested the final hill, Skittles came back to challenge at the front after B-Rod made his winning move to the lead with a cast of thousands on his wheel.

Zyckmann led the Nation down the Champs le Galesburg waving to the fans who were wild wanting to know more about the crash!

The Klutch was rocking as a lot of riders stopped to discuss the day's ride and the crash.

Tricky Nicki loved spending time with the Nation!

The Celebrity riders on the day loved the KK-TdG!

Our wounded hero took a ride home with the Celebrity Riders!

You won't want to miss this week's edition when everyone will be riding safely!

Sharkman with the Great Moultini!

The Klutch was rocking!

Dr. Dave in his Spartan Kit!
Wow!

Sharkman, Tricky Nicki and the Great Moultini!

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Bissell Kit Day! That's right, break out the Bissell Kit for Bissell Kit Day!

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.