WILDMAN RETURNS TO THE KLUTCH!

Bissell Kit Day!

SHARKMAN RIDES A CLASSIC!

STYKER GUY BUYS AND THE NATION TAKES!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED INVITE IS HERE!

MAKE A WISH JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

ACCUSATIONS OF IMPROPER BIKE PROPPING!?!

Belo News
July 15, 2017

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and a bit cool, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, bound from his Shark bed with a great deal of trepidation.  With thoughts of the previous weeks crash, the major increase in riders this season and most importantly the thought that he would be riding his 1988 Trek 1000 with down tube shifters, weighed heavy on his shark brain.....

Celebrity Rider and Sharkmans
sharklet, Nicole was on hand!

Celebrity Rider, Nicole would be back, but not riding to the start. She would be riding Sharkman's beloved Litepeed, while rode his old Trek. It had been a while since the Nation had seen down tube shifters. Actually, the last rider to use them was Legendary Minion, Peugeot Guy, who hasn't been seen this season.

He ran back down to the Shark Basement/Bike Shop to get some arm warmers as he had felt a chill as he pumped his tires and when he returned, Yeti Boy and Nikeboy were waiting to launch.

As they headed to the start, Nikeboy and Yeti Boy marveled at the old world technology on his old Trek. Sharkman, not to be deterred, ignored their comments and on the way out Watkins, came across Reb, who would be riding the entire ride on this fine Saturday morning.

As the riders approached the Eaton Plant, they saw a light to the rear and thought it might be Mad Dog (ya, who is Mad Dog?) but it turned out to be Skittles! Skittles said he got a late start and had to "ride like hell" to catch on with the group.

New Minion, Ray, now Ray of
Sunshine!

The four were able to "climb" across the bridge this week and as they approached the start, Sharkman noticed his daughter, Celebrity Rider Nicole, was already getting her bike ready to ride.

Again there was a very large turn out at the start for the ride.

Two new riders who claimed they were not Minion Virgins, Ray, who was named Ray of Sunshine and Mike who was named, Shonger, though his last name is Shong, that name is in question as a Minion name and the Nation reserved the right to change it at a future date.

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Sunshine and Shonger!

Vice President of Moral and Sweetheart of the Peloton, Gazelle Girl, had prepared a get well card for Wildman and everyone had a chance to sign it!

Bissell Team Kit Day seemed to be a big success and several sprints throughout the day were won by someone in Bissell Kit.

Mike, AKA Shonger during the ride!

Sharkman asked Boatman, who had informed him earlier, of a detour do to new chip and seal. The nation would be turning right instead of left at the summit of the col de Twin Lakes, then heading past the Yorkville Church from there.

Everyone took a shot at Sharkman's old Trek, before he lead the Nation out.

Skittles was volunteered to lead the A Group as the Nation headed out of town.

Point of importance here:

It was reported to Sharkman that some of the residents of Galesburg have not been happy with the Nation's starts taking up the entire lane heading towards the Klutch. Since the Nation wants to keep the residence on our side, going forward the Nation will ride two abreast to the Klutch. Remember, when you hear "car back" or "two abreast" get over to the right and start a double pace line.

The Sharkman counted northward of 30 Minions at the start and at the A Group split, 4 of the Nation headed out.

Rainman was back in the fold!

Hossman was making his season debut and as though he never left, went to the front to lead out our intrepid hero, the Sharkman. Gazelle Girl also led our hero for a time until Rainman, who was also back after a long hiatus, took over and led the old Shark to the first sprint win.

As the Nation headed north over G Ave., Sharkman took a count of around 30 and with the 4 that went on to the A Group, and the two riders than jumped on later, the count was estimated at 35 riders, again reminding everyone that though the Nation will not turn riders away, we should not be inviting riders to the ride.

As Sharkman was learning how hard it was to go back to down tube shifters (at least they were index shift), the Nation headed up the col de Twin Lakes where Toesetter had a flat tire.  As the nation waited at the sprint stop, the A Group latched back on.f

After Toesetters tire was fixed, the Nation headed out to the Yorkville Church from the opposite direction. Sharkman was feeling the pain of down tube shifters as the speed picked up in the Kountry Klub section and up to the Rt. 43 sprint.

The pace was brisk as the nation circled the lake.

Dreamboat returned after the Kashi
tour and seemed to be pretty
full of himself, considering those
shorts!

At the Digital Divide, there was again, such a large group, the Nation had to make crossings in waves. We remind all riders that they should not bolt across in front of cars, as someone may follow not knowing a car is coming. Crossing should be in shifts when traffic is heavy. Additionally, the Minions who cross first should stop and wait, not slow roll. This causes even more safety issues for motorists and passing different groups of riders and for riders thinking they are being left behind.

The pace line again picked up and Gazelle Girl and her entourage/team, flew to the front and again, she captured her sprint for America!

Sharkman was happy to have Hossman back in the Nation as he immediately went to the front for the final sprint and was strong enough to string out the peloton the way Sharkman likes.

Sharkman was up near the front for a while, but once he got to the final ascent, and reached down to shift, he lost any feeble momentum he had and couldn't get it back, so we have no idea who won the final sprint but rumor had it that they were wearing Bissell Kit! Oh, the humanity, it was a victory for America!

Toesetter at the start and before
his flat tire!

The crowds were wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation road into town and on to the Koffee Klutch for the Press Conference.

Stryker Guy sprinted ahead to buy the Koffee and announced that Minions could order anything they wanted! This caused a frenzie as some started taking paintings off the wall but were stopped when two were caught trying to take the koffee maker. Meanwhile, Greyhound ordered pie ala mode that was enough to feed several people!

Wildman was in attendance to not only get his get well card and to show everyone how well he was doing in his new cast, but also to sign autographs!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Meanwhile, Easty was giving Sharkman a lecture on parting with some of his cash to buy a new bike as Sharkman was telling him he was still driving a 16 year old Pontiac Vibe with 150,000 miles on it! Oh, the humanity!

The Klutch virtually rocking with all the exuberance of a great ride, Stryker Guy's buying koffee and having Wildman back in the Nation! This is a great country!

Brewman "sucking it in" for the photo!

This week will be Make a Wish Jersey Day!

In honor of all the Minions/Team Taylor riders, the Nation will be decked out in any Make a Wish/Team Taylor/Eaton Make a Wish Kit!

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

The Nation waits for Toesetter.

Stryker Guy and Zyckmann,
showing off their Bissell Kit!

Wildman was back and smiling with
his Get Well Card!

Wildman is much happier with
this cast than the other!

The man of the hour, waiting for
the bill for damages!

Greyhound and his pie ala mode!

Is this a great country or what?!?

The Nation rocks the Klutch!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED INVITE IS HERE!


Belo News
July 20, 2017

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - The 6th annual Bloody 'ell 'undred is coming up! ALL the details are in the flyer included here. Read up, Bunkie!

ACCUSATIONS OF IMPROPER BIKE PROPPING!?!

Belo News
July 15, 2017

In properly propped?
Is it "bike abuse?"
We report, you decide!

Shark Cove, Mi. - An altercation was reported after koffee, when Dreamboat accused Rainman of "impropery" propping his bike against the Klutch, exposing his steed to getting knocked over and damaged. Dreamboat launched into a sermon on bike safety to which those riders present began rolling their eyes. Dreamboat apparently considers improper propping as bike abuse....a very serious matter.

Later that day, the Commissioner of Cycling received a "strongly worded email" from Dreamboat, along with photographic evidence of continued abuse when Rainman got to the parking lot at the start and used the rear tire of his car to lean his Cervelo on. In Dreamboats own words, and we quote,

"Picture for the blog on Rainman's utter disregard for bike safety.  He told me it was fine because of "double rubber contact."

Utterly hilarious!

An investigation will be launched!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

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