FABIO-Z? WAIT.....WHAT???

ANOTHER SHARK MINION TETTERING ON CELEBRITY RIDER STATUS??

THE RETURN OF YETI BOY!!!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock the Fort....again!!!!

DOES REB HAVE A SECRET ADMIRER?

JUST ONE WEEK UNTIL THE "IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY!!!"

LAST REGULAR SATURDAY MORNING RIDE!!!

Belo News

October 22, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the colorful fall at the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman was waiting in anticipation for the return of Yeti Boy!!! Yes, Sharkman's famous Wingman had returned from his assault on the Appalachian Trail, blistered feet and all and though he had only returned on Friday afternoon, he was ready to ride and was planning on picking up his Wingman, the Sharkman at 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! 

Is this a great country or what!??

Sharkman get's better each week!
It's the new iPhone....🥴

In addition to going back on the bike for the first time in two weeks +, he was also going to ride his fattie along with Sharkman and Reb!!! Oh, the humanity!! What a stud!!! What a Wingman!!

As the duo pulled into the trailhead, the "joint was jumping!" Not just Shark Minions but the beautiful morning had brought out the crowds to tour all the colors going on at "The Fort! 

It was quickly learned that Fabio-X had taken exception to last weeks edition of Belo News when it was reported he had obtained a new license plate for one of his vehicles with Fabio-X on it. The veteran rider was quick to report it was FABIO - Z! The Editors of Belo News humbly apologize for this oversight (due to both Sharkman's poor hearing as well as his senility) and from this point forward are prepared to recognize the new name our Fabio-Z has worked so hard to obtain! 

Congratulations Fabio-Z!!!

Fabio-Z

Riders began piling in, including Luke Skywalker who the mighty Shark Minion Nation had not seen much of over the past season. He, like Easty was bordering on Celebrity Rider Status but he was welcomed with warm cheers as he lined up to toe the start line.

Bissell Boy was also in attendance!

Reb pulled in and needed some repair on his Fattie, so he waited for Toesetter and Gazelle Girl to roll in and Toe was quick with the tools to correct Reb's errant rear shifter.

Fixit was also on hand as the Nation lined up for the start photo, along with the obligatory "Selfie" shot!!! Sharkman seems to improve on that selfie with each week now that the season is almost done!!!

Game on!!

It was decided to do the Green in reverse and the train pulled out of the station pretty close to 9:00 a.m. - not so SHARP!!!

Celebrity Rider or Shark Minion?
Luke Skywalker

Yeti Boy, Reb and Sharkman took up the rear on a their faithful Fatties, surfing the multi colored leaves as they headed across the road and onto the single track along the lake that was pricture perfect on this warm fall morning!

The early morning light seemed to glow on the yellow leaves hanging by a thread from the trees around the lake, casting their reflections on the blue water.

As they made there way around Eagle Lake and into the middle section of the Green, Reb threw his chain again and as Sharkman went around him and Yeti Boy, who was traversing the sandy hill climb, Sharkman heard Reb shout out, "Keep going, I'll catch up!!!"

When Sharkman caught back up to the lead group, he reported that Reb had the problem but that he and Yeti should be right along. Shortly after, Reb rode up to say Yeti's wheel had come loose and he needed an allen wrench to fix it. Toesetter to the rescue!!!

Reb waiting for Toesetter fix his steed!

He took off with Reb, as the rest of the crew moved on to the bottom of the Green near the Amusement Park to wait.

A twist of the allen wrench, the sound of a sigh of relief and Yeti Boy was back on the trail along with emergency road/trail crew Toesetter and back with the group!

Sharkman commented on how much he loves the start section of the Green in reverse and how it is like a sports car track as they traversed the twists and turn and the mostly down hill section.

After poping out of the Green, the mighty Shark Minion Nation headed to the Red "trenches" in reverse to finish the first leg of their quest!

Toe to the rescue!!!

As the group caught up near the trailhead, Celebrity Rider Luke Skywalker had to take off for family duties while the remainder Shark Minions discussed doing the Sharkman Loop. 

As the discussion went on, a father and his young son came along but deferred to the group before heading on. Reb, wanting to make sure he was on the trail before the kid, got the group moving as they took off to do the Sharkman Loop in reverse.

As they dropped into the Crazy Beaver section of the Red in reverse, the kid and his dad were right with the mighty Shark Minion Nation! The kid was amazing!!

Sharkman reported hearing him talking to his dad and making comments to the Shark Minions, "I'm back on!!" "Good pace!"

As the Fat Tire group caught back on with the main pack, the young rider and his dad pulled up at which time Sharkman made him an honory Shark Minion! While his father seemed impressed, the young rider seemed more confused but very gratious with all the praise about his riding laid on him by the Shark Minions.

Fixit was ready to rock!

The young Shark Minion and his dad broke off as the Shark Minions headed to the Green and they staid with the Red. A hearty "Thanks!" was heard from the new, young Shark Minion as he headed off with his dad. The kid looked to be about 8 or nine years old! Oh, the humanity!!!

After traversing the Sharkman Loop, the group got back to the trailhead and began celebrating the return on Yeti Boy as he regailed the Nation of his epic hike on the Appalachain Trail. Stories of blisters, hiking boot breakdowns, fighting off bears, all the questions from the other hikers on whether or not Yeti Boy actually knew the Sharkman......the stories got a bit bigger as time went on.

When the group got back to their vehicles, Reb found a small, rubber ducky on his jeeps running board. As he picked it up to examine it, he looked around looking for a suspect but all denied knowing of its origins. Sort of spooky......does he have a secret admirer? Yeah, pretty unlikely.......

Could it have been Fire? She had told Reb she might come out for the post ride festivities, but it was later learned she slept in instead. 🥴

Reb's rubber Ducky....

Anyone knowing how the ducky ended up on Reb's running board, or why, should report it to the Sharkman Help Line at 888-888-🦈🦈🦈🦈. 

We need to get this person some help!!!

Reb had suggested that in recognition of Yeti Boys return that some adult beverages should be on hand. The later reported he only had two cans on hand so Sharkman, Toesetter and Gazelle Girl came through. Dickus Movus Maxximus in perfect form!!!

With the beverages and the 70+ degree weather, the Shark Minions stuck around for a while and took what a fantastic season it had been! There was also a lot of talk of the "kid" who rode like a champ as well.

Oh, the humanity!!! It is a great country.

Don't miss this Saturday as it is supposed to be dry and just a bit cooler!!! It is also the last "Official" ride before the In Lieu of Iceman Ride/Party the following Saturday (see next story).

"So I hated to do it, but I then
killed the bear with my
bare hands..."

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Fort Custer Trailhead

Launch Time - 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!!!

Be there!

The gang waiting for Toesetter to get
Reb's bike fixed!!

The party went on for quite a while.

Reb was thinking about his secret admirer...🙄

The weather could not have been more beautiful!!!

Is this a great country or what?!??

AppalachiApp

IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY 

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2022!

BELO NEWS

Augusta, Mi. - It is that time of year when the mighty Shark Minion Nation has the last "Official" ride of the season. 😒

But don't feel sad, Bunkie!!!

That means it is also time for the "In Leiu of Iceman Ride/Party!!!"

A few years back, when a number of the Shark Minions grew tired of the corporate change to Iceman, as well as a bad run at the infamous "Mudman," in 2015, the Nation decided to party instead of spending a ton of money to stand in line for tickets to stand in line again to buy beer.

So the ILOI Ride/Party began in 2016! Is this a great party or what!!!

So if you are not riding the Iceman on November 5, this event is for YOU!!!

Even if you don't mountain bike ride you can come to the party part of the ride!!!

Those Shark Minions who do ride mountain bikes will meet at the trailhead at 2 p.m. to ride the trails of Fort Custer.

Those Shark Minions who do not ride mountain bike are invited to join the riders, along with their "signifant others," after the mountain bike ride, at Players in Augusta at 4 p.m. for dinner and adult beverages. 

That's right, Bunkie! Bring your spouse, friend, whatever or come alone and celebrate another fantastic season of riding!!!

If the weather is not conducive for riding, each rider is on their own to determine if they want to ride. If the weather is "iffy" the decision may be made at the trailhead. 

Either way, the meet up at Players at 4 p.m. will still take place!!!

Unfortunately, Sharkman and Lava Girl will be out of town but the party goes on under the direction of that "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl!!!

If there are questions on the weather, you can contact Gazelle Girl. 

But the party happens regardless of the weather!!!

Be there!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

ELITE SHARK MINIONS RETURN TO THE NATION!!!

FABIO-X? WHO IS FABIOZ-X??

TREE LIMB? WHAT TREE LIMB? DEATH BY TREE LIMB?

The mighty Shark Minion Mountain 
Bike Division!!!

WEATHER LOOKING GOOD FOR THIS SATURDAY!!!

ILOI RIDE/PARTY SATURDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2022!!!

Belo News

October 15, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cold and crisp over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was pouring over weather charts and checking the radar. The street in front of the Shark Cove was wet and Sharkman wanted to know how much rain had fallen.

The old Shark's weather app reported 0.1 inches and there was no more rain in the forecast, however Gazelle Girl (the west side Weather Watcher) reported in that her rain gauge had reported a half inch of rain had fallen! 

Wait, .....what?!?

After the weather expert known as Dickus Movus Maxximus weighed in on text with the fact that it had not been a hard rain and there were a ton of leaves on the trail to protect the single track the threesome felt the riding would be fine without the risk of chewing up the trail.

Game on!!!

It was a beautiful morning!!!

Sharkman loaded his beloved Fattie in the Sharkmobile and headed to the trailhead, stopping a couple of times to take photos of the incredible colors along Watkins Road! What a fantastic morning!

When Sharkman pulled into the trailhead, he saw the Legend known as Easty, unloading what looked like, a brand new ride!!! 

Yes, it was Easty who has been gone so much this season he is tettering on Celebrity Rider status!!!

And it was, indeed, a new ride. Well, not exactly new in the sense it was just purchased, but new like he bought it a couple of years ago and had only ridden it a couple of times before. 

This ride today was to be its first real test!!!

Easty returns!!!
With a new ride!!!

Then, to Sharkman's surprise, another legend who had not been seen in a while pulled in after having stopped at the Toesetter Repair shop for assistance with a tire and causing Toesetter and Gazelle Girl to be late. Just off his stellar performance 🥴 at the Berlin Marathon......

Fabio-X in the flesh!!!

It was Fabio! Long, lost Fabio now known as Fabio-X. It appears that Zychkmann had decided to get a vanity license plate for one of his exotic motorized vehicles. His license Plate now has the name "Fabio-X." But what about that "X?" 

Is it for speed, is he X rated, what?

Unfortunatley, someone already had "Fabio" if anyone can actually believe it.

Zychkmann has worked so hard for that name that the Commissioner of Cycling has now decided to designate the name change to Fabio-X! 

Congratulations Fabio-X!!!!

Fabio-X!

More of the Elite of the mighty Shark Minion Nation began to arrive when two more legends, Stryker Guy and Bissell Boy, arrived and unloaded their faithful steeds. 

Stryker Guy returns!!!

This was turning out to be one hell of a morning!!!!

But the hits kept coming!

Reb, Fixit, and finally, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter came rolling into the start as Bissell Boy checked his watch wondering where they were! 

Though Fabio-X was the reason for their delay, there was no comment on his part as to where they were. 

However, the final count for the start was taken and 9 Shark Minions were on hand, breaking the October 2022 record for attendance. It had been learned that Brewman has a bad knee and no on knows were Wildman had disappeared to!

We could go on.......

But we digress.....

After the obligatory "selfie" shot with Sharkman actually in the photo, the group was ready to rock the Red in reverse. Toesetter was chosen to lead the pack and the peloton, if it can be called that on the trail (maybe herd? School of Shark? Whatever?) began its assault on the trails of Fort Custer.

It was a beautiful freak'in morning! 

Fix was ready to rock in
his Eddy Merckx kit!

And Sharkman would not shut up about it!!! 

He kept thinking he should be out there with his camera, not on a mountain bike, but he did have to admit he loves the Fattie. 

Since the fork on his faithful Giant 29er has busted,  and he can't get a replacement, he has been riding the Framed Fattie and says he feels invincible on the rock solid ride. Sharkman does have to work harder to stay close to the pack but loves the feel of the bike making him think any new bike needs wider wheels. 

If any Shark Minions are aware of any used 29er, hardtails with at least a 2.6 tire, let the old Shark know about it!!!

The ride moved out on the Red in reverse and pretty much stayed together and waited, at some of the trail opening, for the Sharkman, who appeared to be sight seeing at the back of the peloton. When the fast moving train got to "Granny's Garden" the lead group did the entire section, the second group took the easier section and Sharkman, missing what had happened, stayed on the hard to the second, easy section, where he exited and found the second group awaiting where the trail came back together.

Toesetter huslting to make up
time after the Fabio_X
delay!

As the riders discussed the beauty of the day, they got to watch a dad coming out of Granny's in a T shirt, claiming it was a nice day, followed much later by a young man who appeared to be his son, huffing and puffing his way up the trail with Dad not waiting for him. They were shortly followed by the Shark Minion lead pack, headed up by Toesetter, fighting his way to the top where the group all came back together.

The group finished up the Red in reverse and decided to do the "Sharkman Apertif" (combination of the Red, to Green, finishing on the Red) before finishing on the day.

As the Nation was traversing the Green in reverse, and after a blind curve, the Shark Minions came upon a tree limb leaning over the trail and had to duck/swerve to keep from hitting it. Sharkman was a bit behind them and they seemed to have forgotten their intrepid hero. After stopping, it dawned on them that he might be barreling up soon and they looked in panic to see if he was coming. But alas, it was too late to warn him as he approached the group! 

Oh, the humanity!!!

Did he bang his head on the limb? Did he swerve and crash into the brush? Was he able to apply the brakes to avoid obvious disaster you ask????

Well, what the hell happened!!!???

The diminituve Shark rode right under the tree limb easily. Not a duck, not a flinch, not even a blink of that deadly shark's eye........

The Nation feeling inpending doom for their leader, sighed in relief before then asking if he had seen the tree limb? He quickly responded, "........What tree limb?"

Bissel Boy dismounted and with his bare hands broke off the limb that almost took out the Sharkman!!! Was it an act of good will? Was it his rage, or relief that the Sharkman had avoided "death by tree branch?"

Well, actually, at Sharkmans height and on a 26 inch frame, it was never in doubt he'd hit is shark head.....maybe his dorsal.....but not a danger to his noggin......  

The Shark Minion Nation may never know.....

as Bissell Boy made quick work of the brush and with the smell of freshly broken bark in the air, a slap of the hands to clear the bark from his gloves, and a smile on his face, Bissell Boy remounted and rode off like the Lone Ranger after saving the day!!!

Is this a great country or what?!?

The Shark Minions were off to the finish!!

At the end of the ride a motion was made by Reb to head to the Klutch for a kup of bottomless and after a second from Sharkman and the vote, the group loaded up and headed out to the Koffee Klutch.

Sharkman bought on the day (wait?.....what?) as the press conference ensued and autographs were signed.

The "Sweetheart of the Peloton!"

It was another fantastic day in the saddle!!!

But the Shark Minions are not done yet!!!

This week, the mighty Shark Minion Nation will be back to the Fort for more fun on the trails!!!

It has been a wet week, but the forecast for the weekend looks outstanding and the colors look to be at their peak!

You won't want to miss this ride, as time is running out on the 34th Shark Minion Nation Season!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2022!

Launch Time from the Trailhead - 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!!!

Be there!!!

Fabio-X trying to get
Toesetter moving!!🥴

Actually, it is us or is Sharkman getting
better at this???

Wait, Sharkman bought?!?
Is this a great country or what?!?

MARK YOU CALENDARS!!!

IN LEIU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY 

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2022!

BELO NEWS

Augusta, Mi. - It is that time of year when the mighty Shark Minion Nation has the last "Official" ride of the season. 😒

But don't feel sad, Bunkie!!!

That means it is also time for the "In Leiu of Iceman Ride/Party!!!"

A few years back, when a number of the Shark Minions grew tired of the corporate change to Iceman, as well as a bad run at the infamous "Mudman," in 2015, the Nation decided to party instead of spending a ton of money to stand in line for tickets to stand in line again to buy beer.

So the ILOI Ride/Party began in 2016! Is this a great party or what!!!

So if you are not riding the Iceman on November 5, this event is for YOU!!!

Even if you don't mountain bike ride you can come to the party part of the ride!!!

Those Shark Minions who do ride mountain bikes will meet at the trailhead at 2 p.m. to ride the trails of Fort Custer.

Those Shark Minions who do not ride mountain bike are invited to join the riders, along with their "signifant others," after the mountain bike ride at Players in Augusta at 4 p.m. for dinner and adult beverages. 

That's right, Bunkie! Bring your spouse, friend, whatever or come alone and celebrate another fantastic season of riding!!!

If the weather is not conducive for riding, each rider is on their own to determine if they want to ride. If the weather is "iffy" the decision may be made at the trailhead. 

Either way, the meet up at Players at 4 p.m. will still take place!!!

Unfortunately, Sharkman and Lava Girl will be out of town but the party goes on under the direction of that "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl!!!

If there are questions on the weather, you can contact Gazelle Girl. 

But the party happens regardless of the weather!!!

Be there!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

WHERE ARE ALL THE SHARK MINIONS?!??

WAS IT TOO COLD FOR REB?!?

FOR THE NATION??

NO PHOTOS!!!?

NEW SPORT OF "BUSH SURFING!??"

MAJOR BELO NEWS RETRACTION!!!?

BACK TO FORT CUSTER THIS SATURDAY!!!

Belo News

October 8, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cold and windy over the Shark Cove, our intrpepid hero, the Sharkman, was already having a kup of koffee and reading the paper as he pondered his cycling attire for the day.

The Shark thermometor was blinking at 34 degrees when the old Shark pulled his sorry dorsal out of his Shark bed in the dark and what to wear was his first question on the morning.

Sharkman's main wingman, Yeti Boy, arrived right on time and Sharkman loaded his fat tire bike in the Yeti Mobile for the trip to the Klutch for a pre-ride Bottomless. Sharkman has blown his front shock on his beloved Giant 9er and is debating a new bike or sending the shock in to be rebuilt.

Reb had begged off the Klutch start, complaining it was too cold to ride from the Klutch saying he would met the duo at the trail head. 

Wait.....what??

The temp difference in that half hour, between the Klutch start and the Trail Head start might have been at most, 1 degree. "Puppy".......the Sharkman thought to himself and texted to Dickus Movus Maxximus those feelings.

Yeti Boy and Sharkman were enjoying their Bottomless, signing autographs and talking to some of the "Early Morning Koffee Shark Minion Fan Klub" and wondering why Gazelle Girl and Toesetter, who said they would met them, had not yet arrived. Apparently they had run into some logistical issues and ended up a few minutes late.

At 8:30 a.m. the small but enthusiastic foursome launched from the Klutch to head for the "back door" to that wonderland of mountain biking the mighty Shark Minion Nation knows as, "the Fort!"

Though brisk, it was a beautiful fall morning in Michigan and all agreed that the ride over to the trail head is a great warm up ride.

Arriving at the trail head on time they found Wimpus Maxximus Reb, along with Fixit waiting to rock the course.

With the amount of clothing he had on due to the cold, and a Camelback (which his phone was located in), Sharkman neglected to get any photos, but needless to say the 6 Shark Minions in attendance were ready to rock!

Speaking of attendance.........WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE SHARK MINIONS THIS YEAR?!?

Since Labor Day there have only been 6 or 7 riders each week. Come on Shark Minions, the season is almost over!!! Get your butts out the door and enjoy what is left of this beautiful fall in Michigan!!!

Nuff said......

It was reverse day at the Fort so the decision was made to take on the Green backwards, which all seemed to believe was more "fun" in reverse than in the regular direction.

Sharkman took up his usual spot at the back of the mountain peloton, well because he is slow and also concerned about Shark Minions running over him if he should go down, and additionally because he was on his Fat Tire bike. Sharkman loves that Fat Tire and feels like he can ride over anything with that tank!

As the Nation was in the second section of the Green, after crossing the road and near Dickmann, Sharkman had fallen back a bit and up ahead he heard Reb howling with laughter. As the old Shark approached, he saw Reb standing over Yeti Boys bike, looking down a very steep, deep fall off, as Yeti by was rolling backwards, heels over head, on his way down the hill. Sharkman, seeing Yeti was fine, began to laugh as well.

Apparently, there used to be a tree on the rights side of the path that made you go a bit wider on what is a very narrow path. Cutting close to the tree stump, and trying to maintain balance, Yeti had attempted to put his right foot down to recalibrate the turn, however there was no terra firma to plant his foot on! Reb discribed it as a "slow roll" down the hill into the bushes. 

Yeti Boy mentioned he could feel himself going over and just turned his back into the bushes and rode the bushes down to the bottom of the hill!!! 🥴 Almost like "bush surfing!" Knowing Yeti, he may have invented a new sport!!!

It did of course, take Yeti Boy more time to right himself at the bottom of the decline and climb back up the hill than it did to go down but he was back on his bike, injury free and off to catch up immediately! 

Hard to keep a good man down!!! 

Reb gave him a solid 10 on his form in the roll down the hill!!!

The group did an abbreviated Sharkman Dessert by doing the trenches on the Red in reverse and as they got back to the trail head, Fixit and Reb decided to go out for another trip around the Red in reverse, while the Gazelle Girl, Toesetter, Yeti Boy and Sharkman headed back to the Klutch. 

The foursome ended up with 19 miles on the day and all was well in the Shark Minion world except the fact that so may Shark Minions have been missing in action!

So don't miss this week's edition.

Since the Nation is down in numbers, the start this week will just be from the Trail Head with a 9:00 a.m. Launch. Be there!!!

 

MAJOR BELO NEWS RETRACTION!!!?

Belo News

October 10, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - The Editors at Belo News want to make a correction to the October 1, 2022 Edition.

It has been brought to the Editors attention that the actual winner of the October 1 final  sprint was Toesetter, who was able to overcome the lead that Fixit had built to take the win.

Our apologies to Toesetter and he is to be congratulated on the final win of the year!

The come from behind win was a victory for America!!!

Our reporter was more interested in his flat tire and getting over to the side of the road before he ruined his tire while riding on the rim.

We apoligize, as this is the first time there has ever been any mistake in Belo News....🙄

Ya, right........

Remember, Belo News motto is that any semblance to the truth in Belo News is purely coincidental!!!

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

WHERE ARE ALL THE SHARK MINIONS??

Where are all the Shark Minions?

GAZELLE GIRL, TOESETTER AND YETI BOY RETURN!!!

"DICKUS MAXXIMUS" OUT DICKS HIZZELF!!!

SHARKMAN FLATS ON FINAL SPRINT!!!

THE NATION MOVES TO THE FORT THIS SATURDAY!!!

BREAD PARTY AT YETI BOY'S AND ALL ARE INVITED!!!

Belo News

October 1, 2022

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke brisk and dry, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, had once again risen before the sun. He pondered that this would be the last "official" road ride of the year and wondered about the weeks ahead. 

Sharkman in focus, check, Shark Minions
in focus, check, no one cut out, Check.
Must be the new camera....📸

It was "Shark Minion Anniversary Kit Day" and he was disappointed that the temp was reading 39 degrees on the Shark Themometer at the Shark Cove and he would  have to cover his satorial splender with a jacket, arm and leg warmers and gloves!

Yeti Boy was back from 18 days in France and baking bread and was anxious to ride, pedaling into the Shark Cove right on time as Sharkman was still scrambling to find his leg warmers.

The two headed out and met up with Reb, sans the partying Fire, whose daughter was named Homecoming Queen the previous evening. Dickus Maximus was in rare form on the morning and was "manned up" riding with no leg cover in the 40 degree temps.

The three riders rode over easy, as they had not been on the bikes much of late and there was no Fire to push them. As they rode down into the Kalamazoo River Valley and saw the mist floating over the river, they also noted that the weather sign near the Post Office was stating a temp of 40 degrees. With a NNE wind predicted at around 7-10 mph, it was a cool morning as they could see each others breath as they spoke.

Fixit, sans tights!

The trio were first on the scene at the start as other riders started to arrive. Fixit was back, and getting his steed ready, sans leg warmers as well. Soon after, the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" and her main squeeze, Toesetter, arrived to the shouts from the throngs of fans numbering in the ones, maybe nones as it was a cool morning! 🥶

Sharkman took one of his better selfie shots (might be the new phone he was forced to buy because his old sHark phone was so old he was told it would no longer work in a couple of months 🥴) and the official start photo. Shortly after he got his gloves back on and the sound of pedals clicking in, the mighty Shark Minion Train pulled out of the station and headed through the Galesburg metropolis, riding by a woman smoking and with a dog on a leash, on the corner wearing what seemed to indicate she had on torn fishnet stockings, garder belt and nothing else on her lower body. Not that Sharkman or the other male riders in the peloton noticed.....However, Gazelle Girl quickly informed the Nation that they were tights making everyone think she had nothing else on. Or so it was surmised......😬

As the Nation headed north, Gazelle Girl and Toesetter took the pace up and pulled their intrepid hero, the Sharkman, to his honorary sprint with Reb faking a Dickus Maximus move right up to the Stop Ahead sprint. Sharkman was forced to kick it up faster than he wanted to, but grabbed the sprint going away at a speed upwards of 23 mph. He reported being very temped to slam on the breaks and let Reb get himself in to "Personna Non Grata" status......

Yeti Boy and Dickus Maxximus
before they battle for
the Rt. 43 sprint!

Gazelle Girl, after three weeks of mountain biking in the U.P. with Toesetter, was armed for bear and did, yet another pull to the next sprint and Toesetter, though on her wheel, was smart enough not to contest it.

The Shark Minion peloton continued up the col de Twin Lakes, past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner (which has not been repaved yet) and on past the Kountry Klub with Toesetter putting in a huge pulls into the NNE wind.

It was after this romp, that the riders sat up for all to catch on just before the Rt. 43 sprint.

Sharkman took the group out and Yeti Boy moved out from his slip stream to go for the Rt. 43 sprint. It was at this point that Reb, aka Dickus Maxximus, made his move on the speedy Yeti Boy.

Dickus Maxximus rode Yeti Boy like a rented yard tractor, pulling him to a possible win, when just before the Stop Ahead, Reb moved around him and then.....in a move he has made classic along with his title, he looked back at Yeti Boy and smiled as if to say, "Out Dicked you!"

However, in a huge tactical blunder, the look back over his right shoulder caused Reb to drift to the left, making him cross the double yellow lines, and he was immediatly disqualified for the major infraction and the sprint was awared to the hard working Yeti Boy who had been pulling in the section and more in the early stages!

Shark Minion steeds, ready to go!!

It was a victory for America as Dickus Maxximus had out dicked himself!!! 

Is this a great county or what?!?

As the Nation crested the col de Norte, after going around a woman who parked in the street to take photos of the bison, they were all on and Toesetter went to the front to put in a huge pull through the Holy Rollers where the group broke apart to the feed stop.

On through the Inlet, where a full and legal stop was executed, 🛑 past the very busy interestion of the Digital Divide, the riders kept the pace going.

After the DD crossing, Sharkman got the paceline going and turned it over, at the top of the first climb to Toesetter who again, put in yet another humongous pull.

As the fast moving, percision pace line of super skilled Shark Minions bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint, all wondered when Gazelle Girl, along with her designated leadout man, Reb, would make a move. The "Sweetheart of the Peloton" could be heard telling her leadout man, Dickus Maxximus, "not yet, not yet, hold on!" as they rode from behind.

Gazelle Girl arrives to shouts
from the nones of fans!!

By the time Reb made his move, Gazelle Girl seemed completely lost in some other thoughts and Reb pulled out without her! Oh, the humanity!!

As Reb worked his way past the peloton, shouts of "Where is Gazelle Girl!" seemed to awaken the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" who then made her final move to get on her leadout mans wheel and coast to yet another close victory for America!!!

After the GGG Spot Sprint and all the celebration, Sharkman took the lead for a short and then Toestter came forward to take the pace up!

Toesetter arrives on the scene!

Sharkman grabbed on as Toesetter went by and with a cast of thousands on their wheels the mighty Shark Minion Nation moved towards the final sprint.

As the Nation approached the final ascent to the finish, Fixit put in a huge attack with no immediate response from the Shark Minions. 

Wait, ....what?!? Game on!!!

Sharkman was happy to sit on Toesetters wheel and see what developed.

As they crested the hill and started the descent to the final Stop Ahead, Toesetter picked up the pace and Sharkman just held on.

However, Gazelle Girl and Reb attacked and went by in pursuit of Fixit who seemed to be holding the gap he had established and the Nation went into panic mode thinking they had waited too long!

The "Second" couple of cycling!
Happy Wedding Anniversary this week!!!

It was then that Sharkman started to feel some rear tire movement that indicated a problem and he noticed his tire had gone flat. The diminutive hero mentioned he was just then ready to make his winning move to take the sprint from behind (not bloody likely! 😜 )when he realized his rear tire was going flat. He slowly pulled over less than 100 yards from the finish! Oh, the humanty!!!

Fixit went on to take the final official sprint of the year! Belo News was not sure who took second or third but those spots were given to Toesetter, Reb and Gazelle Girl. Not necessarily in that order......

The Shark Minion Nation came back to check on their intrepid hero as he and Yeti Boy had already started on the rear wheel flat.

Sharkman, worked efficiently on the tire and after a puff of talcum powder, the sound of C02 streaming into a tire, and the snap of the rear wheel into place, they were back on the road to the Champs le Galesburg where throngs of one, may two paparzzi and tofosi were patiently waiting for their hero's.

The Shark Minions getting to show
off their kit!!!

Sharkman won the sprint to the Klutch where he threw done his credit card to buy in recongintion of his Birthday and Gazelle Girl and Toesetters wedding anniversary!!! 

Is this a great country or what!?!

The Klutch was rocking as autographs were signed, the press was schmoozed, and the locals sat and listened to the Shark Minions regal the crowds with stories of their mornings exploits on that "field of dreams" known as the KK-TdG and the fantastic season!!! 

It has been another fantastic season on the road, but it is now time to head to the trails!!!

The rest of the partying crew!!!

Though the forecast for this Saturday is dry and mostly sunny, the temps will be pretty cold, with a windchill in the 30's'. The Executive Committee has therefore decided for the Nation move to the Fort to ride.

There are two start options. 

The first is to meet at the Klutch for a kup of bottomless before an 8:30 a.m. launch to the back door of Fort Custer and ride to the Trailhead

The second, for those who do not need koffee or a longer ride, can meet at the Trailhead where the Klutch group will arrive at approximately 9 a.m. 

Saturday, October 9, 2022

Fort Custer!

Launch Time from the Klutch - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Launch Time from the Trailhead - 9:00 a.m. - NOT SO SHARP!!

Be there!!!

BREAD PARTY AT YETI BOY'S AND ALL ARE INVITED!!!

DON'T FORGET TO RSVP NOW!!!

Yeti Boy, aka the Breadman!!!

Belo News

October 10, 2022

Center of Bread World, Mi. - As many of the mighty Shark Minion Nation are aware, our own Yeti Boy is a world renound baker with a special and award winning skill at baking bread.

 If you are not one of his "Bread People" you need to be.

Yeti Boy and Yeti Girl will be hosting their annual Bread Party this Sunday afternoon and anyone who is anyone will be in attendance. Additionally, they are inviting the entire Shark Minion Nation to come!!! Is this a great country or what?!? (What were they thinking! 🙄 )

Here is the invitation from the Breadman hizzelf!!!

We are back and feeling energized.  The jet lag left yesterday so full speed ahead.  Many of you extolled the virtues of Paris but it exceeded my expectations.  The visit in Provence was delightful with mountain walks, seafood, kayaking, and even swimming, but Paris...wow.  We walked miles and around every corner there was another surprise. We saw great art, we studied history, we ate delicious food, we drank local wines and yes we did bakeries.  I arranged a visit to the famous Pouline bakery, guided by the owner Appoloina Pouline.  An amazing place and business, guided by a person who is passionate about bread and the culture surrounding it.  Our last full day I went to a bread baking class in a French cooking school.  It was amazing so now I have undergone training in several bread loving countries including the mother of them all, France.

Now about the party:  

BREAD BY HAND PIZZA PARTY   

Sunday, October 9, 3 pm til dark. All are welcome to come enjoy some woodfired pizza, assorted charcuterie selections, beer, wine, soda and some fun live music by George Pendill and his crew. Seating will be limited so you may want to bring your own chair.  As in the past, we will have a donation basket out for contributions to our charities this year:  WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN  wck.org and SHARE CENTER of BATTLE CREEK sharecenterbc.org  Checks or Cash accepted.

Please let us know if you are planning on attending and the number in your party,  Hope to see you on Sunday.

RSVP to Yeti Boy at schweitzerdl@gmail.com

Riders joining the Shark Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Shark Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.