WELCOME HOME ANDREW!!!

CELEBRITY RIDER, PIRATE TAKES THE TAPE*!!!!

Mighty Shark Minion Kit everywhere!!!
Is this a great country or what!??
Pirate is standing like he knew he would win that day!

GAZZELLE GIRL GETS THE ASSIST*?!?!

TEACHING MOMENT AFTER NEAR MISS!!!

BIKERS ACTUALLY READING BELO NEWS!?!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

BISSEL KIT DAY THIS SATURDAY!!!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED ON TAP!!!

Belo News

July 24, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was readying his 30th Anniversary Kit when it dawned on him that he had not recharged the batteries in his computer and lights! Oh, the humanity!

He quickly put the computer on the charger, with 10 minutes to lauch time, hoping it would have enough charge for the entire ride. As he waited for Yeti Boy, hoping he might be a bit late to allow for more charging time, he noticed a rider in the drive, just a bit "larger" than the diminutive mountain climber, Yeti Boy.

New Shark Minion Joe,
aka, ScanMan! Welcome
to the mighty Shark 
Minion Nation!

It was none other than Nikeboy hizzelf! Decked out in his 30th Anniversary Kit, with the sun at his back, cutting quite a figure on his Specialized steed! He is, after all, "The Style Guy!"

Oh, the humanity! Nikeboy had not only returned but was wearing his Anniversary Kit!!!

Sharkman hurriedly got his computer and as Yeti Boy rode up to greet Nikeboy, the three took off for the start, sans Reb and Fire.

On the ride over, the three, all decked out in their 30th Anniversary Kit, almost looking like a real team, chatted up with Nikeboy and what he had been up to all summer.

When they arrived at the start, Minions began pouring in and both Raptor and Snow White were spending a lot of time getting ready near their respective vehicles. It was later learned that Snow White had left her cycling shoes elsewhere and after a search of both her and Raptors car, realized she had to go home to get her shoes! 

Much to everyone's surprise, Pirate rode in for another Celebrity Appearance! Since that is twice this year, and he is now living in Ann Arbor, we may have to return him to regular Shark Minion Status!!! 

As riders rode in they all greeted the returning legend of the peloton!

Gazelle Girl rode in to shouts from her adoring fans and also decked out in her 30th Anniversary kit!!!

Shark Minions continued to pour in, including Bissell Boy and his son in law Joe, now named "ScanMan" until an offical Shark Minion is determined. Though ScanMan might stick!

Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, ScanMan!!! 

Nikeboy making his season
debut!

Dr. Dave and Sasquatch were there in their 30th Anniversary Kit and even celebrity rider Pirate had his original Minion jersey on (he was out of the country when the Anniversary Kit was ordered!). 

All Sharkman could think of was that some Shark Minions had actually read Belo News!!! 

Oh, the humanity!

This is a great country!

With Luke Sky Walker and Raptor (who was again taking a comfort break and missed the start photo) the total riders at the start was 11.

After the start photo, the Nation pulled out of the station and headed through Galesburg, past the Klutch where they picked up Hutch, making his season debut and riding a new, very colorful steed, and crossed the railroad track.

That is where it happened! Time for a teaching moment!

As the riders turned left after the railroad crossing, and as they approached the next, right hand turn, a car was moving towards the intersection and riders had gone too wide, over the center line (though as a side street there is no actual line) and had to swerve to the right quickly to keep from hitting the car. This caused the entire peloton to have to react quickly and move to the right, which indicates the entire peloton was taking too wide a turn, crossing the center of the road. 

Sharkman felt a wheel touch his back wheel, and a shout out. Pirate had been looking left and could not respond quick enough, but fortunately was able to "right his bike" and get his shoes out of his clips without going down. Had he gone down, it would have most likely been right in front of the car.......

A very close call and an opportunity to review that all of us riders need to be extremely cautious in group riding that we should never cross the center line. There have been far too many times when riders cross the center line and there is simply no excuse or valid reason to do so. If you are boxed in, you should not try to pass by crossing the center line, particularly double yellow lines, to get around. This often happens in the Holy Rollers when the Nation is slowing going up the hill and a rider gets boxed in. Riders have crossed the double yellow on hills when cars are coming and we've had some close calls. Extreme dangerous and pisses drivers off!

Shark Minions should never cross the yellow/center line to pass. 

If you are boxed in, it is a part of cycling. No sprint is worth causeing an accident.....

While we are at it, if you hear someone shout out, "car back" please move to the right as quickly as possible and try to get to two a breast or single file. Also, when the Nation comes to a stop, please do not circle in the intersection (particularly at the top of the col de Norte) and also please stay to right on stops unless the Nation is going ahead or going left.

Nuff said!

Celebrit rider Pirate, in his
Classic Shark Minion
jersey!

As the Nation headed north, Sharkman engaged his lap timer on his computer, just hoping the battery had enough charge. However, it wasn't long before the notice of "low battery" popped across the screen.  Actually it did last all the way to the GGG Spot Sprint before dying.......it was at 18.79 mph average and we still had two sprints left! Oh, the humanity!

Sasquatsh came up to lead the Sharkman to his Honorary Sprint at a speed of 23.9 mph!!! 

Sharkman took a count of 12 at the first G crossing, which Nikeboy confirmed before dropping off at the Yorkville Church.

The fast moving Minion Train motored through the Col de Twin Lakes, and on through the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the Rt. 43 sprint, where the speed really picked up to the "smoke'em if you got'em" stop.

The Nation headed up the Col de Norte, where Pirate commented that as he caught on at the top, Sharkman was yelling "all on" and it was off to the races again and he had a problem catching a wheel!!!

Luke Sky Walker put on a humongus pull with Sharkman on his wheel for as long as he was able, but backed off before the turn into the Holy Rollers.The "kid" was just too fast for the old Shark!

The Nation taking a breath at the Feed Stop!
courtesy of Raptor!

Through the climbs in the Holy Rollers, on to the Food Stop, the pace continued to climb!

It was at this point that Snow White jumped back on after going all the way home to retrieve her shoes. Also, Rocketman, making his season premier, jumped into the mix! Welcome back, Rocketman!!!

After traffic cleared, the Nation headed down to the Inlet Sprint, making a FULL stop at the Inlet intersection and on to the Digital Divide crossing.

Yeti, Raptor and Hutch started up the paceline and for a few weeks in a row, the paceline has actually been pretty impressive. As riders peeled off the front, the second rider took over without accelerating, keeping a consistent speed and not blowing up the paceline. Acceleration came slowly and measured. Hutch really took the speed up as the runaway train bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint! 

Gazelle Girl arrives to shouts of
welcome from the Nation!

Sasquatch again, led out the Sweetheart of the Peloton to take her beloved GGG Spot Sprint, locking the victory for America in grand style!

There were some stragglers on the GGG crossing, but the Nation behaved and grouped back together so that all could make the last assault on the final sprint of the day.

Pirate came up and took the lead, opening a gap. Yeti Boy and Sharkman were at the head of the trailing group when Sharkman commented to Yeti Boy that Pirate was pretty fast and that they better try to reel him in before he could steel a win, like any good Pirate.

That is when the shout of "mechanical" was heard from Gazelle Girl, who had thrown her chain off of her front deurallier! Oh, the humanity! Everyone stopped with the exception of the Pirate, who went on to "Pirate" the final sprint, uncontested.* This, of course, gave Gazelle Girl an "assist*" in the win. A subsequent investigative effort has been launched to determine if any collusion took place in the finish!

Meanwhile, back at the scene of the mechanical, several of the Shark Minions were gathered around the Sweetheart of the Peloton, attempting to get her chain dislodged from the pedal crank while mosquitos made a terrorist attack against some of the Minions who were waiting, causing them to make a dash, out from under the trees and brush where the mosquitos were gathering, beating drums and chanting, "Let's eat!"

Young Luke Skywalker was back!

There was blood in water and those mosquitos were traveling in packs! Like vultures on looking at Shark Minion Meat all over the road......

Several Minions went on ahead and actually had a faux finishing sprint for fun, which Luke Sky Walker took easily, then waited at the finish, away from the mosquito onslaught in the tree section of road where repair on Gazelle Girls bike was taking place.

The entire peloton, sans the Pirate, rode to the Klutch along the Champs le Galesburg to the cheers of the paparazzi and tofosi, while the Pirate was already at the Klutch buying the koffee!

This IS a great country!!! Thanks Pirate! The Nation would have given you the win anyway (with the *), but thanks for the koffee! 

Also waiting at the Klutch was our Super Barista, Andrew, who has just returned home from Basic Traning in the National Guard! 

So good to have you back, Andrew and thanks for your service!!!

You were greatly missed and the mighty Shark Minion Nation is happy to have you back in the peloton. Please know that Leslie and Ron took very good care of the Nation in your absence!

The Klutch was rocking with all the celebration!

Sharkman and Yeti Boy even had Fire show up on the ride home to pull them back! They even had a slight tailwind on the return!

You won't want to miss next weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

Saturday, July 31 (how can it be July 31 already!?), 2021

Bissell Kit Day!!!

You read that right, Bunkie! Bissell Kit Day even though not many still have the classic kit anymore!!

Launch Time 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED IS BACK!

Belo News

July 27, 2021

Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - It's baaaack!

The Bloody 'Ell "Undred is back after a year off for Covid!!!

Actually, this will be the 8th Annual Bloody 'Ell 'Undred! Is this a great country or what!?!

100K of fun, pizza and beer, followed by a dip in Gull Lake and a chance to see Fabio's Muy bueno Estate!

All the information is in this very strange Bloody 'Ell 'Undred Poster, suitable for printing and posting on your living room wall! And yes, that is our own Toesetter, rocking it with whoever that sculputer guy is supposed to be!!! A story on the making of this poster may appear in a future issue of Belo News, but we digress......

Oh, the humanity!

This ride is 40K up to the Waldorf, followed by a 20K return after some beer and pizza!

Don't miss THE social event of the season and anyone who is anyone in cycling will want to be a part of this annual fun fest!

You must RSVP Gazelle Girl by email before August 18! 

It is all on the poster, so just look at where ever you hung it on your living room wall and then, RSVP NOW!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

THE FEW, THE PROUD…THE MINIONS!

SHARKMAN RETURNS THIS WEEK!

SHARK MINION ANNIVERSARY KIT DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

Special Report

Stryker Guy

Bissell Boy may need work on 
taking selfies as well!!

July 17, 2021

Galesburg, MI.

It looked rather bleak for much anticipated “Shark Minion Ride” with heavy rain falling during the early hours of Saturday morning.  

Six Minions threw caution to the wind and arrived at the Galesburg launch point hoping others might join the cause (and keep the pain level to a minimum).  

Greyhound, sporting the UM kit and an M slightly larger than one found on the “Big House” was ready to ride, along with the always speedy, Dr. Dave, BIssell Boy (who is in great bike form), Wishbone in a Pig jersey (pig’s have hambones, Wishbone!), Snow White, wearing the flag of Great Britain in honor of Mark Cavendish (she rode like him most of the day) and yours truly, wearing an old jersey and hoping not to get dropped by the time we hit the Klutch.  Obligatory pictures were taken and off we went.  

In the distance, heading toward the Sharkman Sprint, were none other than Reb (in his lawn mowing t-shirt) and Fire in the Ragbrai kit.  The peloton caught the Reb/Fire breakaway, but Fire, riding strong all day, edged BB for the sprint points.  

"Official Start Photo!"
Shark Minons ready to roll!

The pace was brisk, but manageable, as all eight riders took turns at the front.  Note: actually we all waited until Greyhound went to the front so we could catch his terrific draft. 

Snow White on her ‘Rain Bike” constantly impressed the fans with her ability to accelerate up the various Col’s that make up the northern route.  Wishbone, showing that he is more than ready for this year’s Ragbrai, put in a terrific surge to win one of the sprints (I can no longer remember which one, but it was impressive).

BIssell Boy decided to give the Nation a break by riding his gravel bike, but he killed it nonetheless.  In spite of the fact that no one is sponsoring him (see lawn mowing shirt) Reb rode like a man searching for a new sponsor.

Dr. Dave toyed with the riders and pulled away on the final sprint winning the day. 

The Klutch was rocking!
Greyhound bought!!

The town of Galesburg was unusually subdued, probably realizing that a number of the “Legends” were absent from the ride.  Greyhound bought the coffee as the sun came out to cap a great morning. 

Thanks Stryker Guy and Bissell Boy for the riviting write up and fantastic pictures!!!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition of the KK-TdG when the Sharkman, hizzelf, returns to his beloved nation!

In celebration of his return, he has declared it "Shark Minion Annivesary Kit Day! 

Is this a great country or what?!?

So get out the 30th Anniversary Kit and ride!!!

Saturday, July 24, 2021

Shark Minion Anniversary Kit Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

There is a 50% chance of rain for Saturday, so if the ride is cancelled, an email will go out one hour before launch time! Otherwise, it is each Shark Minion on their own!

Be there! Well, unless it is raining.........

SHARK MINIONS ROCK THE BELGIAN WAFFLE RIDE!!!

RAINMAN BRINGS ON THE RAIN!!!

Belo News

Special Report

Rainman, Dreamboat and ???
Ready to rock it!!!

Dreamboat & Rainman

July 17,2021

San Diego, CA.

It has been reported that Rainman made the trip out to San Diego, winter home of legendary Shark Minion Fabio/Zyckmann, to compete in the Belgian Waffle Ride!

As everyone knows, it never rains in San Diego, but prior to the ride, the sky's opened up. Dreamboat stated he has only seen thunder and lightning once or twice since moving out there. A rare occurrence indeed! 

Would the Rainman, legendary for refusing to ride in the rain, actually ride?!?

As luck would have it, all rain ceased before Rainman and his wing man, Dreamboat began, the ride and the two mighty Shark Minions finished the event strong!!!

No report on any podium finishes, and it is also rumored that no waffles were consumed.....wait, what??? 

Oh, the humanity!!!

Both riders wanted to make sure Fabio was aware of this ride and stated he needed to do it. 

However, Zyckmann has a no cut contract to ride the Shark Minion Season in Michigan every summer into pertuity and cannot be doing celebrity rides in California! 

It looks like a fantastic ride, but there might have to actually be waffles there to get the Zyckmann to even think about it!

Thanks to Rainman and Dreamboat for the fantastic photos and scant report!!! You both did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!

Beautiful roads!

Dreamboat living the dream

Where are the waffles???

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SKITTLES RETURNS FOR WIN!

CELEBRITY RIDER! PIRATE RETURNS!

VIRGIN MINION IN THE MIX?

Celebrity Rider, the Pirate
returns to the Nation!!!

BEER JERSEY'S RULE BUT OBERON TAKES IT!

SHARKMAN MISSING THIS WEEKEND??? SAY WHAT?

RETIREE RIDE MOVED BACK ONE WEEK!!!

Belo News

July 9, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn breaks bright and cool over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, looking for one of his beer jersey's. Yes, he does own more than one beer jersey. After selecting the Oberon Jersey, one of his favorites and one he had worn in some time, a smile came across his shark jaws as he thought of the ride ahead of him. 

Sharkman had received a text earlier in the week from that legendary Shark Minion, the Pirate! Pirate was going to take part in the ride and Sharkman was feeling good about all the Celebrity Riders who have returned to ride with the mighty Shark Minion Nation after the long dark night of the pandemic.

Virgin Minion, Geoff!
(MNTBD)

Yeti Boy pulled up on time, in his very dapper Guiness Jersey as they both launched to the start, sans Reb and Fire. The two riders both commented on the lack of whining about the pace, since Reb wasn't present and Fire wasn't there pushing the pace.

It was a beautiful morning for a ride and as the two approached the Klutch, they saw Wishbone coming out afer a kup of bottomless, and then following them on to the start.

Shark Minions began to pile in almost immediately!!! Including Wildman, who wasn't going to be able to ride, as he had a graduation party for his daughter, but since he had to go get ice, wanted to stop by to say hello! You even get your photo in Belo News without riding! What a stud!!!

Hello Wildman and thanks for stopping! 

And congratulations to Annalise on her graduation!!!

Even Annalise gets a mention in Belo News! Is this a great country or what?!??

It was like old home week as riders tooled in to greet Pirate, decked out in his Chouffe Belgium Beer Jersey.

The man of the hour!
Bissell Boy in his Bell's kit
bought the koffee on the day!

Gazelle Girl rode in to shout's of "Gazelle Girl" sporting hair ribbons and black socks about being a Bitch and something about virginity.......go figure, while Toesetter was AWOL with a sore knee.

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock it!!!

Bissell Boy blew in fast and immediately saw the Pirate waiting! A great morning!!!

A Virgin Minion named Geoff was also in attendance, sans a Minion Name! Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Geoff MNTBD (Minion Name to be Determined).

Long lost Skittles also came buzzing in, ready to ride and making his season debut! 

Wildman forgot his beer jersey,
while making his ice run!!!

Welcome back, Skittles! You've been missed!

After the official start photo was taken, Rapture popped back from the restroom, so he got a solo shot! Sharkman doesn't waste film on a second shot.....wait, film?

Sharkman announced the start and the mghty Shark Minion Train pulled out of the station and on to the new path to town, past the Klutch and on to the course the Nation knows as their Field of Dreams, the KK-TdG!

Sharkman jabbered wtih Gazelle Girl for a while at the front and tried to drop back to press the flesh. However, Skittles came forward and they talked for a while, catching up, before the young sprinter picked up the pace and led our hero out to his first, honorary sprint, which he took at just about 25 mph!

The ride then began in earnest as the Nation moved on to the col de Twin lakes, where Yeti Boy and Skittles battled out the climb and the Virgin Minion pulled some sort of zig zag move on Gazelle Girl on the climb up. 

Perhaps, "ZigZag?" 

As seems to be the rule, the pace picked up hot and heavy through the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the Rt. 43 sprint and the "smoke'em if you gott'em" stop, where a couple of Shark Minions took a comfort break while the Nation waited......

Skittles returns to the Nation
and takes the win!!!

At the top of the col de Norte a couple of Shark Minions started to circle in the road/intersection and sooooo just a reminder.....do not circle in the road at stops! It is not only dangerous, but the drivers hate when cyclist do that.....nuff said!

The peloton split into smaller groups as it approached the Holy Rollers, where Yeti Boy took a jump out front to contest the sprint with Skittles.

At the Food Stop, Sharkman took off and opened up a bit of a lead in the run up to the Inlet, but no one seemed to care as he moved ahead and took the Inlet sprint, where everyone made a complete stop at the Inlet 4 way. 

Nice job, Nation!!!

After crossing the Digital Divide, a pace line led by Skittles picked up pretty quickly and started to get north of 22-23 mph.

Sasquatsh then dug deep and brought the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" forward to take her coveted crown at the GGG Spot Sprint. It was a Victory for America! It was a win for the Nation! It was a win win!!!

As the Nation crossed G Ave. one Shark Minion got delayed int he crossing, but the peloton held for him as they began their assault on the finish.

Yeti Boy fell on his sword and went to the front, trying to break up the peloton, but apparently, the Nation is more afraid of Yeti Boy than they are of Sharkman. They reeled him in at the first short hill right after the turn and then, the speed picked up dramatically.

Yeti Boy sporting a very classic
Guiness Jersey!

Skittles moved forward with a cast of thousands on his wheel as Sharkman grabbed any wheel he could and held on, with Raptor on Sharkman's wheel.

Sharkman got to Skittles wheel and thought he'd hold on as long as he could but after summiting the final ascent before the finish, he could hold no longer and began to fade.

By this time, Raptor had dropped off and of the old Shark's wheel and as he looked in his rearview mirror (yes, his concession to old age.....a mirror) and dug a bit deeper, he realized he had a gap! 

He was riding on the rivets, as Phil Liggett would say!

Sharkman was thinking everyone was to his right, so he went to the right side of the road to check the mirror, ......he had a gap! 

But could the old veteran stay away from the fast moving train known as the mighty Shark Minion Nation!!!

As he bore down on Skittles and the finish, he knew there was no hope catching the young sprinter, and he wasn't sure he could hold off a very fast moving Shark Nation even on the down hill!

Sharkman's legs were starting to feel it, as the finish line loomed closer and he saw the Vortex known as Greyhound moving up behind him, closer and closer!

Brewman, wearing the "original"
Bell's Jersey! Who else, but 
Brewman!

However, the diminutive Shark was able to stay away, dancing on the pedals, taking second behind Skittles and with Greyhound finishing right behind him! 

Oh, the humanity!!!

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the riders moved toward the press conference at the Klutch.

Bissell Boy there with the credit card and bought for the Shark Minion Nation! This is a great country!!!

Thanks Bissell Boy! You rock!!!

The Klutch was a buzz with discussion, koffee and a lot of banter, and the talk was so great, the old Shark forgot to get Klutch photos! Oh, the humanity! 

Yeti and Sharkman had a bit of head wind on the way back to the Shark Cove, but it was another great day in the saddle and they hardly noticed the wind!

You won't want to miss this weeks edition, even though the Sharkman will! Oh, the humanity!!!

Wishbone in his Bell's jersey!

Sharkman has a Sharlet invasion this weekend and can't make the ride, but the Nation will ride!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Gazelle Girl sporting "Bitch Socks"
on Beer Jersey Day!???

Gazelle Girl arrives to shouts from
her adoring fans!!!

It sure does, Gazelle Girl,
it sure does......

Sasquatsh in Bloody 'Ell Jersey, 
which qualifies as a
beer jersey!

Sharkman had trouble trying to do
a selfie of he and the Vortex
known as Greyhound.....

Raptor, late for the start photo!

Working on it......

The "Vortex" known as
Greyhound!

Finally!!!

RETIREE RIDE MOVED BACK ONE WEEK!!!*

Belo News

July 14, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - Late breaking news! Due to the weather reports, the Retiree Ride was moved back one week to Thursday, July 22, 2021! Not the 21st as reported in the bulletin put out this past Tuesday. 

When Gazelle Girl asked the Editors of Belo News to put out the bulletin, she apparently did not factor in their incompetence in doing anything! 

So follow the attached information and BE THERE! 

You do not have to be retired to ride!

* New Date! New Date! New Date!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

YOUNG RIDERS IN THE MIX!

THE OLD GUYS RULE THE PODIUM!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation ready to rock Red, White & Blue Kit Day!

CELEBRITY RIDER/LONG LOST MINIONS RETURN!!!

RED, WHITE & BLUE KIT DAY A HUGE SUCCESS!!!

DICK MOVES* WITHOUT REB, YOU SAY?!??

BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

July 3, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cool and crisp over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero liesurelyy sipping coffee and not having to worry about pouring over weather charts. After two Saturday rainouts in a row, our hero was enjoying the morning and his only concern was whether to wear arm warmers or not.

Celebrity Shark Minion, 
Dreamboat, was back!

Long lost Shark Minion, the legendary Rainman, had texted the evening before, that he would be riding and was bringing the Celebrity Rider the Nation has been blessed with a couple of times already this season, Dreamboat!

With Reb, Fire, Yeti Boy, the entrouge included five Shark Minions (which is believed to be a season record) which was almost six, but Stroker, making his season debut, got up a tad late and missed the launch from the Shark Cove and had to drive over.

Sharkman enjoyed catching up with the wayward Shark Minions, while Reb kept whining about going too fast, even though he was dropping off halfway over and returning home for "Dad Baseball Duties" and had to be back home by 8:30 a.m.

As the riders approached the start, Brewman pulled in wearing his Victory Beer, Red, White & Blue Kit and looking quite dapper for his return to the peloton after being absent for a few weeks.

Other long lost Shark Minions arrived quickly, including the Bounty Hunter and that Shark Minion favorite, Kia Pet, making his season debut!!!

Toesetter arrived, sans Gazelle Girl, to cheers of "Toesetter!"

But where was Gazelle Girl?

Toe reported she was entertaining her "Bestie" at the Triple Nasty Ranchero, but Sharkman rebutted that excuse, stating he was Gazelle Girls "Bestie" with a capital "B!" 

Who is this rider?
None other than our own
Rainman!

Two Start Photos were taken, as Fabio, astride his "woodie," and Bissell Boy arrived a bit late and the photo had to be re-taken. After some opening words from the Galesburg Mayor in honor of the 4th of July, the Shark Minion train was ready to leave the station to the cheers of the gathered throng of people.

As the mighty Shark Minion Nation traversed their way through the thriving metropolis of Galesburg, waving to their adoring fans, it was noticed that the Klutch looked a bit empty, but it was the 4th of July weekend and many may have been sleeping in, missing this colorful start to the day.

As they moved north, Sharkman chatted with Dreamboat at the front. Dreamboat apprently did not realize he was supposed to be leading our hero out to his first sprint at this point, and so, Sharkman had to dig deep to get his speed up to 22.6 mph to take his honorary sprint and giving it the honor it deserved. Dreamboat still got his name in Belo News despite not leading our hero out.......

Well played, Dreamboat, well played......

Yeti Boy was on fire and took the next sprint, and it was there that two more Shark Minions jumping on at the stop! Wildman was back and I Owe Beer was returning to make his season debut. 

Welcome back, I Owe Beer!

This brought the total number on the day to 16 riders, one more than needed for Sharkman not to have to remember everyone who was in attendance! 

Thanks Wildman and I Owe Beer!!!

Brewman was back after a short
absence!

With a few young AND old sprinters in the group, the pace picked up considerably as the Nation traversed the col de Twin Lakes, passed a running event at the Gull lake High School, screamed passed the Yorkville Church and on through Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub.

"All on!" at the "Smoke'em if you Got'em" stop, then up the col de Norte as the fast moving train hit mach speed through the Holy Rollers.

Rainman, Dreamboat and Bounty Hunter were putting in massive pulls after the col de Norte, before Sharkman and Kia Pet took over going into the Holy Rollers. That is when Sharkman told Kia Pet how much he hated the first hill in the Holy Rollers. Kia Pet responded by saying, "Yes, I like to try to just get out of the way going up that first hill..." to which Sharkman stated, "I like to get in everyones way so I can slow them down and have a chance to hang on to the food stop!"

It was at the Inlet sprint that the first Dick Move* occurred when Zyckmann went by everyone after riding at the back and taking the sprint. However, he actually crossing the double yellow lines, immediatly disqualifying him for the win, and Brewman muttered, "When did Reb get here?" only to learn it was Fabio hizzelf! Sharkman tried to defend the wayward Dickus Movus* Maximus by stating he thought maybe he had gone ahead to make sure everyone came to a full stop at the Inlet........😏

Fire returning after her tour
of the southeast!!!

Traffic was bad at the Digital Divide and the Nation was split up in the crossing, but after the crossing, the pace line formed up quickly, and then broke into 3 seperate groups. An extremely fast group, a very fast group and a fast group! 

Oh, the humanity, it truly was a runaway train!  

Sharkman settled in behind Greyhound and immediately watched his heart rate drop and the vortex of the big rider seemed so suck him in to a black hole of cycling as the scenery in the "tunnel of trees" began to blur as the speed increased. Riding in the middle group, Sharkman just held on like when Lava Girl tries to take a vanilla cream sandwich cookie out of his hand when he sneaks one from the Tony the Tiger cookie jar. He just wouldn't let go of Greyhounds wheel and began to immediately hallucinate about vanilla cream sandwhich cookies! 

Is this a great country or what!??

MMMmmmmmm cookies........but we digress......

It started to get scary for our hero as he watched the speedometer head north of 25 mph and later, at the press conference, stated that he thought he could hear a warning buzzer as he approached his 71 year old heart red line limit! (we may be watching too much of Phil Liggett.....)

Oh, the humanity. It was so wild, and with Sharkman in the second group, he did not even know who took the coveted GGG Spot Sprint! 

Therefore, he awarded the GGG Spot Sprint to Gazelle Girl, knowing she would appreciate the jester from her Bestie with a capital "B"!! 

It was a victory for America! 

Kia Pet was in the HOUSE!
Been too long, and great
to have you back!!!

After the smoke cleared, Sharkman led the Nation out to the finishing section, worried that with some big guns in the mix, it would be good to try to stretch out the field.

Where is Tow Truck and/or Hossman when you need them??!

Sharkman took off and his mighty Shark Minion Nation let him go, knowing they had the legs to reel him back in.

They allowed Sharkman to open a pretty good gap before Bounty Hunter and a large group of Shark Minions began to reel him back in and then pass him at the foot of the ascent to the finish.

It was then that Sharkman saw Greyhound coming up and he again jumped on him like a mosquito on a sunburned neck on a hot summers evening! 

Sharkman described it later as being phenomal back there! Sharkman envisioned kids at the back of the Greyhound waving at him from the rear of the runaway bus called "The Greyhound!" Kids throwing Vanilla Cream Sandwich cookies at him in celebration of a podium finish!

As the descent to the finish began, Bounty Hunter backed off the front and it was Dreamboat and Greyhound, followed by our own Sharkman hanging on for dear life!

Sharkman tried to go around Greyhound on the right and was immediately hit by a wall of wind, as he rethought that strategy and rationalized it was too soon to make any move.

Then Greyhound started to fade and the old Shark jumped on Dreamboat's wheel, who then also began to slow!

Bounty Hunter had again moved ahead and though Sharkman knew he was not going to catch the wiley sprint veteran, he stepped on it to try to take second!

That's when it happened!

Bounty Hunter had returned.
And he returned strong!!!

Fabio, who had used the Bounty Hunter's wheel as long as he could to close the gap to Sharkman, simply biding his time, went around our hero at the end to take the second spot on the podium by a half a length, with our hero capturing the third spot. 

Oh, the humanity!

Dickus Movus* Maximus on the day!!!

Oh, double the humanity!!!

Finishing Average Speed was 19.27 mph!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero's zipped up their jersey's for the sponsers, all of whom seemed to have Red, White & Blue Company Colors on this special holiday edition of the KK-TdG!!!

Hoosier Boy won the sprint to the Klutch to pay for the koffee! Is this a great counry or what?!??

Thanks Hoosier Boy!

It was another great day in the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

There was even a tailwind back to the Shark Cove! The cycling gods were smiling on the Nation this fine Holiday weekend, making up for the rain the past couple of weeks.

So don't miss this weeks edition, when it will be "Beer Jersey Day!"

That's right Bunkie, it is summer, and what do Shark Minions do in the summer? They drink beer!

Which brewery will win Beer Jersey Day?!!! Is this a great country or what?!??

Saturday, July 10, 2021

Beer Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! - Don't miss the start photo!!!

Be there!

* Though Fabio did not look back, which would make it a classic, Maximus, Dick Move, it was a Dick Move none the less......

Bissell Boy returns after rocking
the Gravel Grinder with
Stryker Guy!

I Owe Beer makes his
season debut!

The boys in their Red, White & Blues!!!

The "Brooklyn" style jersey won the day!

Stroker, making his season debut, and 
the man of the hour, Hoosier
Boy! Thanks for the koffee Hoosier
Boy!

The Klutch was rocking!!!

 

AND DON'T FORGET THE RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE ON JULY 15!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

ENOUGH WITH THE RAIN ALREADY!!!

WHO WANT'S TO PITCH IN ON AN ARK?

MINION ROCK COAST TO COAST GRAVEL GRINDER!

SPECIAL REPORT!!!

RED, WHITE & BLUE WEEKEND COMING UP!!!

Belo News

June 26, 2021

Shark Cove, Mi. - What, again?!?

This time, our intrepid hero was up early, pouring over weather charts, consulting with his weather expert (that would be Reb) and trying to make the call. It started with a text from Reb, "Heavy is the head that wears the crown - what are you thinking?"

In the green hue of the Shark Radar screen, our intrepid hero was wondering........the cells were popping up all over but it looked like it might clear around launch time. However, it did not look like the roads would ever dry and more rain looked to be in the future during the ride and on the return to the Shark Cove.

Reb texted back that no matter what the decision, the ride would be wet. Sharkman's greater concern was any lightning, which did not seem to be in the immediate forecast, but could come quickly in the right rain cell. 

As the clock ticked, Sharkman decided there was no way to avoid the rain, and decided to make the call to cancel. 

Oh, the humanity.......not again!

He drudged down to his computer and sent out the notice, as well as posted at Belo News.

One Minion got back to him stating, "my bike weeps...." to which Sharkman responded, "I know your pain."

But it turned out to be a good call, as there were several periods of some pretty torrential rain.

We believe that this is a first for the mighty Shark Minion Nation, as to our knowledge, the Nation has never been rained out two Saturdays in a row!

The Nation has been living the dream and can only hope it returns this Saturday!!!

And there is always another Saturday, right?!?!

The Nation will forego "Vintage Jersey Day" and in fact, Belo News is concerned it is a jinxed Jersey Day?.......

But since it will be the 4th of July weekend, it will of course, be "Red, White & Blue Kit Day!"

Is this a great country or what?!?

So break out that Red, White & Blue Kit and let's ride!!!

Saturday, July 3, 2021 - Red, White & Blue Kit Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

MINION ROCK COAST TO COAST GRAVEL GRINDER!

Special to Belo News

June 27, 2021

Our hero's, Stryker Guy &
Bissell Boy with their 
Swag!!!

Ludington, MI 

Stryker Guy, Contributing Editor

After the year of Covid cancelled bike rides, the Coast to Coast, Gravel Grinder was back with a vengeance.  

In the past the 210 mile Coast to Coast (Bay City to Ludington) and the 100 mile “Loop” ride were held on the same day. This year the long ride launched on Saturday.  

About 100 riders with obvious severe mental problems, left Saturday morning in a driving rain storm, which lasted most of the day.  Many did not finish. SG and Bissell Boy (along with his son in law Joe, Minion name to be determined) drove to Ludington on Saturday witnessing the rain and horrible conditions and wondering if they should return home or head to the bar.  Fortunately the rain stopped Saturday night and the conditions were close to ideal on Sunday. 

SG and BB were excited to learn that there were only 16 riders in the +60 category meaning they had at least a 50% chance of finishing in the top 15! (Note: we finished tied for 7th).  It was a great day on a beautiful course complete with plenty of gravel (imagine that!), gorgeous wooded roads, single track (yep!) and an incredible lack of climbing (only about 2440 ft). 

 

Action shots our "legends of the peloton!"

Stryker Guy and his lead out man, Bissell Boy!

To cap the day, each finisher received a commemorative beer mug, HOWEVER, there was no beer to be found anywhere, which forced the author to lodge a strongly worded complaint to the race director.  

A great day to ride with my fellow minion and friend BB. 

Editors Note: You did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud! Thanks for the report and hope to hear  all about it this Saturday!!!

AND DON'T FORGET THE RETIREE'S LUNCH RIDE ON JULY 15!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.