RAIN? WHAT RAIN?

Sharkman has given up on selfies!

THE RETURN OF FABIO!

OR IS IT ZYCKMANN? 

MINIONS ROCK FAST FITTY!!!

RED, WHITE & BLUE WEEKEND COMING UP!!!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News

May 22, 2021

Shark Cove, MI. - As dawn broke wet over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was dreaming sweet thoughts of winning that final sprint when the shark alarm tolled, breaking the dream trance and bringing him back to reality.

When our hero glanced at his shark phone, he noticed a rain warning for 5:57 a.m., 3 minutes before his alarm when off! Rain? Wait, what???

There was no forecast for rain!

He immediately pulled up the shark radar and saw that rain was passing over, but needless to say, he was not a happy shark!

Moments later, a text from Reb read, "The corner at 7:35?" followed immediately with "....not really sure if this counts as rain?"

Reb's prediction was for it to be light rain at our start, but fine after we reached the Klutch but recommended leaving 5 minutes later.

Since Sharkman always counts on Reb's weather predictions, he got ready to ride. However, he did recomment 5 minutes delay to launch. So the old Shark launched from the Cove at 7:35 a.m., SHARP!

With his rain jacket on, the old Shark was a bit warm heading over and the rain was, as predicted, very light, ending before the pair crossed over I-94 near the Eaton Plant and made their descent into that thriving metropolis known as Galesburg.

Waiting at the start were Brewman, Squeaky and that long lost Shark Minion, Bulldog! Welcome back, Bulldog! He was even wearing his 30th Shark Minion Anniversary Jersey!!!

Shortly after, Wishbone pulled in along with that legend of the peloton, Zyckmann, aka, Fabio!!! The crowds went wild......

Welcome back from the West Coast, Fabio/Zyckmann! 

Fabio/Zyckmann hizzelf!

After the start photo, the riders were ready to ride. No rain, slight wind and a bit overcast......perfect!

Squeaky kept Sharkman talking on the way to the first sprint and as the old Shark picked up speed, Reb came up beside him with that "Dick Move" look in his eye, but seemed to know better. However, it did push our hero to what may be a record speed for the sprint, somewhere north of 26 mph!

There was no doubt that Zyckmann had returned to the Nation from the West Coast in great shape as he tended to push the pace, grabbing every sprint he could.

Brewman put Fabio to the test on the col de Twin Lakes and the battle continued through the Yorkville Church, past the Kellogg Korner and the Kountry Klub and on to the sprint to Rt. 43. As the two battled, Reb pulled Sharkman out to the front and the two tried to break away, but Favio would have none of it and dashed to take the sprint.

After the col de Norte, Brewman took a humongus pull to the turn at the Holy Rollers with Sharkman taking a free ride on his wheel. Then Zyckmann moved up and Sharkman, feeling no shame, pealed off of Brewman and grabbed the new, fast moving wheel of Fabio for more free fun.

The return of Bulldog!!!

While riding Zyckmann like a rented mule, our intrepid hero hung on and watched his HR actually go down as he sat in the wake of the West Coast phenom all the way to the Food Stop.

As the fast moving train pulled out and headed to the Inlet, the Nation would be taking a detour after the Digital Divide due to their beloved finish being "chip and sealed" the previous week! "Who in the hell approved that?" Sharkman wanted to know!

Oh, the humanity!!!

After crossing the Digital Divide, the nation turned right at what has become known as the "dam road." Not to be confused with "damn road," but because of the new dam that has been built there. Reb made the comment as they past the new dam that if it was his yard, he would turn that into a part of his landscaping! 

Since Sharkman hates landscaping, or even cutting grass, he let that go.....

As they turned to head down the col de Twin Lakes road, Zyckmann again came to the front and the old Shark continue to take the free ride he so deserves and road Favio like that  rented mule he spoke of before.

Wishbone, showing off his
mane of hair!!!

Zyckmann was so geeked, he kept it up past the G Ave. crossing and the old Shark was loving every minute of it!

As they summited the last climb before the finish, Zyckman pulled off and seemed suprised a rider was still there, on his wheel. 

Sharkman had occupied his time in the back seat watching his heart rate continue in a mellow mode and slowly dropping as he caught the air of the legend known as Fabio/Zyckmann!

The old Shark, feeling he couldn't steal the sprint after riding for free for so long, asked if the rented mule, known as Fabio, wanted to battle it out for the final sprint, to which they both crossed over together making it a victory for America! The Shark would never pull a "dick move" on someone he had ridden like a rented mule (and wasn't sure he'd of won it anyway!)! Well, maybe not.........

The Klutch was rocking!!!

The crowds were extremely upset that their hero's did not ride down the Champs le Galesburg, where they were waiting, due to the detoured finishing sprint. An angry mob circled the Klutch but after an appearnce by Fabio, they quieted down quickly and came in for koffee.

Speaking of koffee, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman bought the round for his mighty Shark Minion Nation! Yes, you heard that right!

All was well in the Kingdom as the press conference continued while all sipped their Bottomless Kups of brew and sat in awe with their cycling hero's!

This weekend is Memorial Day and so all Shark Minions are requested to donn their Red, White & Blue kit for this weeks ride in rememberance of our military hero's!

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Red, White & Blue Jersey Day!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

MINIONS ROCK FAST FITTY!!!

STRYKER GUY CELEBRATES BIRTHDAY WITH WIN!!!

Belo News

Two "Legends" at the start!
Bissell Boy & Stryker guy ready to rock!

Charlotte, MI. - It was a great weekend for the mighty Shark Minion Nation as 3 of their finest competed at the the Fast Fitty Race. 

Ace Reporter, Bissell Boy joins in.....

The Fast Fitty is a classic gravel road race in Charlotte MI, traversing Eaton and  Barry county through beautiful Amish farmland. All proceeds from the race fight human trafficking.

We signed up last January and I remember telling Stryker Guy I was doing the 36 miler.

There was the choice of 19, 36 or 54. Stryker Guy told me he would ride over that morning to drive up together and on the way up he told me "I am riding my age today" as he put 11 in before reaching my house! (Editors Note: That is why the man is a legend!) 

Our own Skittle on the podium!

I said "bad news I signed up for the 36 miler. 

Well before getting to the start line I decided to hang with the birthday boy for the 54 and we were off and riding. It was a beautiful day and we took turns on the front for a spectacular ride. As I was signed up for the 36 I placed solid 6th  for my age group with my 54 mile time in the 36 miler and Stryker Guy finished 5th in our age group for the 54 miler. 

My time was 4th in the 60+ age group coming in just ahead of SG. 

Fellow minion Skittles won his age group with a blazing 2h38 min performance averaging 20.5mph. (see attached photo) 

Editors Note: It was a victory for America! Well, and the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

Our hero's at the finish!
Love that Shark Minion Jersey!!!

The Birthday Boy, Hizzelf!!!

COLDER THAN PREDICTED!?!

Reb also seems to have  a problem with selfies!
The mighty Shark Minion Nation rides!

SOME NEW FACES RETURN!

REB, GAZELLE GIRL REPORT IN!!!

FABIO APPEARANCE???

Belo News

May 15, 2021

Galesburg, MI. - Though no one really reported in on the day, Ace Reporter Reb did send in the start photo. Thankfully, half of his face was out of the picture!

Belo News reached out to Gazelle Girl to get the facts, since they were somewhat limited from Ace Reporter, Reb.

It was good to see Yeti Boy, Wishbone and Hoosier Boy back in the mix! Welcome back, Minions!

It was learned that Reb needed to get back home for his son's baseball game, so Yeti went with him, pealing off before the first sprint, near the Triple Nasty Ranchero! 

Wait, what?!?

Toe, Hoosier Boy, Greyhound, Brewman, Wishbone and that "Sweetheart of the Peloton," Gazelle Girl continued on that Field of Dreams known as the KK-TdG to complete the circuit.

Gazelle Girl and Toesetter had to leave before Koffee to attend a memorial service, so reportedly missed that errant legend, Fabio, hizzelf, who had stopped at the Klutch for the Press Conference and to sign autographs. Brewman also skipped koffee and it was down to Wishbone, Greyhound and Hoosier Boy enjoying a bottomless together and watching Fabio work the room like a politician.

Sharkman returns this weekend, but is aware a number of the "legends" of the peloton will be abscent. 

Oh, the humanity! 

Don't let our intrepid hero ride alone!!!

Seems like the "Soft Opening" continues! But the forecast is for much better weather this Saturday! Sharkman got spoiled during the pandemic with later starts and may keep it at 8:30 a.m., at least for a while......

This Saturday, May 22, 2021!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

 IT WAS A COLD START FOR A SOFT OPENING!

Sharkman proves that he still has not learned how to
take a selfie with the Nation!

WOLF KING ROCKS THE NATION!

WILL SUMMER EVER ARRIVE?

Belo News

May 8, 2021

Shark Cove, MI - As dawn broke cool and crisp over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was snuggled up in bed with his Shark pajamas wondering why he had decided to have a "soft opening" on such a cold morning? 

"What was I thinking..." he thought to himself, as his fin hit the cold floor and he stepped out of his Shark bed and into his cold Shark slippers.

Over the past year of Covid quarentine, he had gotten a bit spoiled. So spoiled, he hadn't had to worry about the weather OR having to write Belo News. Though he certainly missed his mighty Shark Minion Nation, it was nice to roll over and just hit that snooze button on the Shark alarm clock from time to time.......

As we begin this new season, the Nation may find the stories shorter (a lot shorter), and a bit more informal. Not doing Belo News was a bit of a break after years of writing it, so there may be some changes in store.....so standby!

Sharkman had learned that that Minion Legend, Wolf King, was going to be in town and it gave him even more of a reason to want to get the season underway.

It had been so long since Wolf King had ridden with the Shark Minions, Sharkman wasn't sure who would remember him.

Wolf King hizzelf!!!

Wolf King showed up at 7:30 a.m. and after a pit stop by Wolf King, he and Sharkman launched from the Shark Cove at 8 a.m. stopping to wait at Helmer and Watkins for Fire, who ended up being a no show. Well, it was 34 degrees as they left the Cove and that may explain her absence.

As they rode into Galesburg, Wolf King stopped for water at the Klutch and Sharkman went ahead to see if anyone was at the start. Brewman was the sole rider in attendance as Wolf King caught back up.

Sharkman got a text from Gazelle Girl reporting that her dog, Gummo, was very ill and that she and Toesetter may have to put her down, so they would not be riding but would try to stop at the Klutch to say hello to Wolf King.

Fearing that there would only be three riders on the morning, Sharkman was glad to see Greyhound ride in

Greyhound was ready to ride!

 followed by the "Style Guy," Squeaky hizzelf! 

 He was, of   course, decked out in his Arctic attire for the   weather and  actually began pealing some of it off before   the ride even  started. Squeaky was even sporting a new     bike!   Well, not new in the true sense of the word "new,"   but "new" to   him!

 After the start photo was taken, the Mayor of Galesburg   fired the starting pistol and the 2021 mighty Shark Minion   Nation season was under way!!!

  As the riders headed into town they saw those legends   two of the peloton, Bissell Boy and Stryker Guy, riding   in to help kick off the season in style!!!

Squeaky with a new bike
and matching gloves!

As the Nation passed the Klutch with a wave and with the "ones" of fans lining the street, the Shark Minions were ready to enter their "Field of Dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!

It was obvious very early that Wolf King had been riding.....A LOT! He led our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, out to his first "honorary first sprint" of the season and it was certainly a victory for America!

Wolf King kept up a brisk pace, but when he would realize there was no one to talk to, he would drop back to the peloton to enlighten the Minions with his cycling acumen.

Through the Col de Twin Lakes, where he took the climb, past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the Route 43 sprint, the Wolf King kept the pace going.

After the Col de Norte, the wind was at the riders backs and the pace picked up even more. 

The morning didn't seem to warm up much, but the riders enjoyed the bright sun and the tail wind as they soared through the Holy Rollers, past the Inlet and on to the Digital Divide.

Brewman bundled and ready
to rock!

 As the fast moving train continued on, Wolf King led the   pace line and the Shark Minions responded with one of   the better pace lines in recent Minion history! Wolf King   worked it perfectly so that he was at the front as they   approached the GGG Spot Sprint, which he took easily.

 After the G Ave crossing,  and Squeaky dropped off to   head home, Wolf King again, went to the front and   Sharkman and his   Minions  tried to hang on. However,   the cagy Wolf just kept picking up the pace and dropped   the Sharkman and his beloved Nation in his wake while   the battle for second and third began. 

 If you had been there, you would have seen a great finish   for second and third, but you decided to sleep in because   it was a bit cold, so....suffice it to say, it was a classic   finish after Wolf King secured his spot at the top of the podium.

The papparazzi and tofosi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's zipped up their jerseys for the sponsors and headed to the Press Conference at the Klutch.

Gazelle Girl and Toesetter were waiting, along with the Early Morning Group, to greet the riders as they came in for their beloved kup of Bottomless! 

Is this a great country or what!?! (It does feel good to say that again!)

It was quite a party at the Klutch as the riders talked about the new season and how good it was to be back in the saddle!                       

Styker Guy enjoying his 
Bottomless!

Bissell Boy, bundled up for
the ride home!

So the 2021 season has begun! 

Though the Sharkman will be gone this next weekend, the ride will go on! And remember, Shark Minions need to be vaccinated!

This Saturday, May 15, 2021

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP! (SHARP means, at the start, ready to launch, not "in the parking lot and needing to put air in your tires!")

Be there and ride safe!!!

THE MIGHTY SHARK MINION NATION IS BACK!

A "SOFT" OPENING DAY THIS SATURDAY!

A CELEBRITY RIDER YOU SAY?!?

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!?

Belo News

May 5, 2021

Shark Cove, MI. - It has been a very long time since the mighty Shark Minion Nation has ridden their beloved, "Field of Dreams" known as the Koffee Klutch Tour de Gull!

The Pandemic has reaked havoc on the 31 year streak of that Saturday Morning Tradition known as "the mightY Shark Minion Nation!"

Some may have given up hope! 

Some may have thought the Sharkman had passed on to better paved roads!

Some worried our intrepid hero had just decided to hang it all up!

Some may have thought he'd gained so much weight he couldn't get his Shark Jersey's on! 

Oh no!!!

After the long, long hiatus, the Sharkman and his beloved mighty Shark Minion Nation are back!!!

Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, has returned from a month out west and would like to get things started again! He may not have the legs for it, but he wants to ride anyway (our Celebrity Rider promised to go easy on him)!!!

Oh, the humanity!!!

So this Saturday, there will be a "soft" Opening Day to try to get things rolling again!!! 

No one might show up, but Sharkman has his fingers crossed there are still a few Shark Minions out there!

Is this a great coutnry or what?!?

Wait......What? What do you mean by "soft?" Opening, you might ask.....

There will be a few restrictions, the notice is short, the weather could be a bit "nippy" and with all that is happening with the continued news on Covid, the season might last only a week. 

But we are going to give it a try!!! With the new, updated CDC guidelines on outside activity, the advent of vaccinations and the ease of getting them, and the need to ride, let's get this party started!

This Saturday, May 8, 2021, 9:00 a.m. - SHARP! 

"The Mighty Shark Minion Nation rides again!!!"

We will also have a Celebrity Rider that has been gone so long, many may not have ever met him, but he is somewhat of a legend in the Nation and a long time Minion. You veteran Shark Minions will want to be there! You won't want to miss this ride and who knows, it might be the last for a while if people don't start getting their vaccinations!!! (Please get your vaccination so we can end this thing!)

And speaking of vaccinations......

As mentioned there are a couple of restrictions.......

1. We ask that if you want to ride with the Shark Minion Nation, you get your vaccination. We understand that Mejiers and other locations are doing walk in vaccinations. We know it will be on an honor system (and a part of being a Shark Minion is being honorable!), but we expect any Shark Minion that is riding to get vaccinated before rejoining the group.

2. If you plan to stop at the Klutch for a Bottomless after the ride (a Shark Minion tradition) you will need to bring a mask.

Because it will be a bit nippy this Saturday morning, AND our celebrity rider might drive over that morning, even though Sharkman has offered lodgings at the Shark Cove, we will launch a bit later at 9:00 a.m. - SHARP. Sharkman and his etntourage will launch from the Cove at 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

A reminder.....9:00 a.m. - SHARP! does not mean in the parking lot at 9 a.m., but locked and loaded and ready to ride! Do not make the Nation wait for you to put air in your tires, find your shoes, or make a comfort stop! We have pictures to take and celebrity riders to greet so when we say 9 a.m. SHARP! WE MEAN 9:00 a.m - SHARP!!!

BE THERE!