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| The Nation was ready to rock! |
CELEBRITY RIDER BUYS!?!
NEAR DISASTER FINISH!!!
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| Celebrity Rider, the Pirate! Welcome home, Pirate! |
CRICKET ALMOST CRASHES BUT STILL TAKES FINAL SPRINT!!!
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED DATE ANNOUNCED!!!
LUCKY ONES ROCK THE WALLDORFF!
THIS SATURDAY IS RETRO JERSEY DAY!!!
Belo News
July 13, 2019
Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and warm over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was finding it a bit difficult to get his sorry dorsal out of his Shark Bed.
The sharklet's had invaded and had only left the day before and our hero was feeling the sharklet hangover. Playing none stop with 3 sharklets ages 4 to 10 can be tiring work, but oh, the fun!!!
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| Our "Style Guy," styling! |
As he donned his Bissell Kit for Bissell Kit Day, along with his matching socks and riding gloves, he thought to himself what a fine figure he cut in his red and white lycra! Oh, the humanity.
As the Sharkman headed out to his steed, there was Nikeboy, in his usual finery, and once again revealing why he is "The Style Guy!" With his white jersey, blue shorts and matching white shoes, he too, was looking pretty good!
As they headed out on Watkins they saw Fire riding towards them as they also saw a bike light behind them. Thinking it might be Skittles or Rocketman, they slowed, only to find out it was Super Trooper who already had about 10 miles under his belt on the morning.
Fire was riding strong and shared she was in training for RAGBRAI and pushed the pace as the four riders made their way to the start. They all commented on how beautiful the morning was with a bit cooler temps and calm wind!
As they approached the start, they found Zyickkmone already in the parking lot showing off his new Cervelo! Oh, the humanity! That is one sweet ride! But what about the woodie?!?
How fleeting fame....
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| Zyckmaan, aka Fabio, on his New Cervelo! Wow! |
Zycckkmaann stated that he got such a great deal he could NOT, NOT buy it! He declared he was "saving money!" by buying it!
This is a great country!!! He was fast on the woodie! The legendary rider will be unstoppable now!!!
More riders poured into the start as Sharkman made sure there were over 15 so he would not need to remember names! Sharkman primed the peloton to great Gazelle Girl, the "Sweetheart of the Peloton" as she approached with an entourage of "other guys!" (see photo)
Among them were two celebrity riders! Yes, you heard that right, Bunkie! Not one, but two!
Skipper was back in the mix and riding right along side of him was none other than legendary Shark Minion, The Pirate! Oh, the humanity!
The Pirate had retired back in 2014 and was only returning now!!! Welcome back Pirate, you've been missed! It has been a long 5 years, but there was as spot in the peloton!
The count was upwards of 15, probably around 18 as Sharkman gave the history of th eBissell Kit (which was well represented on the morning) and how he wanted the Nation to behave themselves better on the days ride! Skipper mentioned that he had not had time to sweep Kellogg Korner and that it was loaded with gravel, which it was. Everyone thought it was amazing that Skipper was still sweeping Kellogg Korner! Oh, the humanity! Thanks Skipper! The man, the myth, the legend!
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| The Skipper was back to lead the Nation! Is this a great country or what?!? |
Skipper led the mighty Shark Minion Nation through Galesburg, past the Klutch, and on to the first sprint as more riders jumped on, including the third Celebrity Rider (not technically*) Stingray making his season debut and his first ride with the Nation in some time!
Welcome back Stingray!
Sharkman and Skipper caught up on things before the Shark dropped back to press the flesh with his Nation.
No one seemed to want to lead our hero out, so he took it upon hizzelf to go to the front and shame someone into coming forward. It was not long before Falcon came up and Sharkman immediately latched on!
A bit later, Shark went around Falcon, thanked him and then took the sprint at a respectable 24.6 mph.
As the Nation headed north after crossing G Ave. for the first time, Zyccmone streaked forward on that Cervelo to take the next sprint! Wow! That is one fast bike!
The ride moved quickly through the col de Twin Lakes, past the col de No Name, the Yorkville Church, past Kellogg Korner (loaded with gravel) on through the Kountry Klub and on to the Rt. 43 Sprint where Cricket and Zyikcmoone fought it out.
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| Brewman still Number 1 on attendance! |
Over the col de Norte, through the Holy Rollers and on to the low road to the inlet.
Once the Nation crossed the Digital Divide, Sharkman went up front and started a pace line that seemed to form for a short time until Gazelle Girl reported the wind was out of the west (what wind?) and the pace line needed to move clockwise rather than counter clockwise. Wait, what?
As the Sweetheart of the Peloton was shouting instructions to Minions that looked like deer had been caught in the headlights, Sharkman was shouting from the back of the peloton to just keep the present rotation.
Both were shouting so much, they could not hear each other and the Shark Minions looked like a bunch of cats looking for the mouse that got away in a room full of catnip.....suffice it to say it was not very pretty.......
As the shouting continued, the pace line spread out on the road just before Toesetter made his lead out move to take Gazelle Girl to her beloved win of the GGG Spot Sprint. It was a victory for America.
As the Nation headed to the final sprint, Sharkman went to the front AGAIN, as Hermster moved up on his left and said, "is it too early to go?" To which Sharkman stated, "No!"
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| Gazelle Girl arrives with the sun on her shoulder and a cast of a thousand "Other guys!" |
They moved to around 24+ MPH and at the base of the final ascent, Sharkman took over, thanking Hermster as he passed. Two old guys pushing the pace because all of the youngsters wanted the win?!? Oh, the humanity.
Sharkman pulled as hard as he could as the horses started to come around him at the top.
The old Shark saw the Pirate moving up and he grabbed on to his wheel and held on for all he had.
As they bore down on the final tape, several riders were up near the front and sharkman began to get a second wind as he heard a loud "crack-snap" that made him think there had been an accident behind him!
He watched in both horror and amazement at what soon followed......
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| Gazelle Girl with Celebrity Rider, the Pirate in her entourage! |
Cricket, battling it out with Super Trooper and cast of thousands, torqued his bike hard to start his final sprint when is right foot came out of his pedal causing his bike to swerve to the left. Super Trooper (we think), was quick enough to move out of the way to keep from crashing but it also slowing him down.
Meanwhile, Cricket, in what can only be termed as one hell of a demonstration of bike handling skills, started to go down and it looked as though his rear wheel came up in the air. However, just as he seemed to be falling to his left, he was able to somehow keep the bike upright and still hammer down to take the final sprint!
Oh, the humanity!
What a finish!
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| Toast was ready, sans Bissell Kit! |
New Season high average speed of 19.28 mph!
Cricket reported at the Press Conference that he had borrowed pedals and new cleats, so it was hard to determine the cause, but a good reminder that worn cleats need to be replaced as coming out of pedals can be a disaster for not only the rider, but all the riders around them in any sprint.
The paparazzi and tefosi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg and as Sharkman entered the Klutch, there was Skipper, who had bought the Koffee for the Nation and Andrew personally brought it to the Sharkman! This IS a great country!!! he thought as he sipped his first kup.
The Koffee flowed as Sharkman, Skipper and Pirate caught up with each other, shared stories of old and generally had a fantastic time! It was like the old days with these two back in the peloton!
Hoping they will both return soon!
Luckily, Fire had stuck around to pull the old Shark back to the Cove as the morning warmed up.
It was a great day to be a Shark Minion!
You won't want to miss this Saturday's edition of the KK-TdG!
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| Sharkman declared Fire ready for RAGRAI! |
This Saturday, July 20, 2019
Retro Jersey Day! That's right, Bunkie, dig out your old or retro jersey and ride with the Nation!
Launch Time - 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!
Be there!!!
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| Ranger Rick, not wanting his photo taken..... |
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| Super Trooper holding court with Nikeboy and Rocketman! |
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| Gazelle Girl showing off her Bissell Kit! |
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| It was a great day to be a Shark Minion! Photo courtesy of Nikeboy, and thanks for another great job as the sweeper! |
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| The man of the hour, who bought, The Skipper! |
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| The Pirate was all smiles! |
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| The koffee was flowing! |
LUCKY ONES ROCK THE WALLDORFF!
Belo News
July 10, 2019
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| The Lucky Ones at the Walldorff! |
Hasting, Mi. - In what has now been described as the largest attended Lucky Ones Lunch, EVER, with particular, a celebration of Brewman's retirement and entrance into this rarified social status, the mighty Shark Minion Retired Lucky Ones rocked the Walldorff for pizza and beer!
And Stryker Guy picked up the tab! Oh, the humanty!
Thanks Stryker Guy! Is this a great country or what?!?
Brewman, this years ironman on attendance, is even extending his streak on ALL the rides this season! Oh, the humanity! How long can this continue??! Well, he is retired now!
And, speaking of the Walldorff, get to the next article! This IS a great country!!!
BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED DATE ANNOUNCED!!!
Belo News
July 17, 2019
Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - The date for the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred has been announced so mark you calendars for this annual event of bloody mary's, deviled eggs, beer, pizza and riding! Is this a great country or what! So make the date on your calendar and here is the invite! All Minions are welcome and remember, it is a ride and not a race!
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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