SHARK MINIONS ROCK THE FORT!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation lined up for the start!
Photo by Yeti Boy

SHARK MINIONS ROCK PLAYERS!

SHARK MINIONS ROCK!

REB "TORQUES" HIS CHAIN OFF?!!!

I OWE BEER DELIVERS!

COTTAGE CHEESE, ........A DOLLAR?!!!

WHAT THE........?

BARRY-ROUBAIX REPORT?

IRONMAN AND KID DOSTER CHECK IN!

OH, THE HUMANITY! IT'S THE END OF THE SEASON!

Belo News
November 3, 2019

Augusta Mi. - It was time, once again, for the 5th Annual "In Lieu of Iceman" Ride/Party!

That annual event that every non Iceman contestant awaits!

AND it did not disappoint!

Yeti Boy and....well a Yeti.....and a Yeti Bike (Gazelle Girls).

The the weather forecast sucked most of the week, and there was scattered rain in the early afternoon,  but 10 hearty Shark Minion's showed up to ride and an 11th (Hoosier Boy) came later!

Is this a great country or what?!?

In addition to Sharkman and Yeti Boy, Gazelle Girl, Toesetter, Reb, Zyckmannn, Brewman, I Owe Beer, Skittles and Hambone filled out the roster! It was a cornucopia of the Shark Minion Nation.

After Yeti Boy took a start photo, the riders signed some autographs, and the Governor made a few remarks, Sharkman shouted out that he would take up the rear! Primarily because he was out of shape after a month off the bike after his encounter with a very vicious box cutter AND he had to ride his fat bike because his beloved 9er had a flat and need to be "re-energized" with that white goo stuff he hates!

Adult beverage anyone?

Meanwhile, Skittles was on a single speed and Gazelle Girl and Toesetter were rocking their new rides! Gazelle Girl on her new Yeti and Toesetter on his new Trek, both dual suspension!

Is this a great country or what!??

It was a reverse trail day and the Shark Minion Nation took off on the Red Trail, with Toesetter in the lead and aiming to transfer to the Green midway. However, he then realized that since it was reverse day, they could not enter the Green Trail where it meets the Red, just before the Amusement Park. The line of Shark Minion riders had to continue on the Red Trail till the end.

No problem!

Sharkman fought to stay on, and though Yeti Boy, I Owe Beer and Reb did not seem to have a problem with their fat bikes, Sharkman was paying for a month off the bike!

Oh, the humanity!!!

The Nation rocks Players!

However, in the best tradition of "leave no Minion behind," Sharkman managed to finish just behind the group as Zyckmann was holding court with the Nation as to what to ride next and making sure all the Minions, including Sharkman, were on.

The Nation had some time left on the clock, but they did want to allow time for adult beverage consumption post ride. Therefore, it was agreed that they would ride, what has come to be known as, the "Sharkman Loop" before wrapping up.

The "Sharkman Loop" is a run through the Trenches, then backtracking to the start of the Green that links to the Crazy Beaver. However, on this day it would be ridden in reverse!

Zyckmann, Skittles and Toesetter took off with the Nation in hot pursuit with the old Shark hanging on, yet again, for all he was worth (and that ain't much!)!

As the Nation headed up the first big hill in the Crazy Beaver section and with Yeti Boy right on Reb's tail, a loud "snap" was heard and low and behold, Reb's chain had broke.

This stopped Yeti, who was right on his butt, but Sharkman had enough room to go around, leaving them like so much garbage on the side of the road.....hee hee.....!

As Sharkman caught up to the ride leaders he reported the chain break and an immediate debate began on whether it was from Reb "torquing" and "muscling" up the hill, or if he had started to put on some "winter weight?"

Fire,  Reb in his special T, and
Hoosier Boy who rode late!

None the less, Yeti rode up and advised that Reb was walking back to the trail head.

As the Nation pulled up to the Green, they noticed a giant Yeti/Sasquatch/Big Foot silhouette that cried out "get a photo of Yeti Boy with this thing!" It was believed to have been put up by the mushers who were in the park on the day.

After the photo op, the Nation took off again and before long, Sharkman couldn't see Yeti up ahead and just decided to ride it in, in a less than oxygen deficient pace......

However, as he turn off the Green to head to the Trenches, he couldn't see anyone! Where did they go? Where was Yeti Boy?

When he pulled into the Trail Head, everyone asked where Yeti Boy was? Yeti is somewhat famous for taking wrong turns on the "Sharkman Loop," being directionally challenged and after a bit, he did pull in with no explanation as to where he had been......

After a discussion on generators with Hambone leading the talk and handing out beer, the Nation changed clothes and got ready to head to Players when Skittles realized he had locked himself out of his van! Rather than take a ride home to get another key, he decided to ride home on his single speed and get the key and ride back! He ended up with around 70 miles on the day! What a Stud Shark Minion!

The gang headed over to Players where Lava Girl and Yeti Girl were waiting with Wildman, who had joined for the party.  Riders started piling in, as did Hoosier Boy, who had shown up late for the ride, but got one in anyway, making it 11 riders on the day.

Sasquatch and Fire also joined in for the party and to every ones joy, I Owe Beer bought the first round! Is this a great country or what?!?

Thanks, I Owe Beer, and a name change to I Bought Beer is being taken under consideration by the Cycling Commissioner!

"Cottage Cheese a dollar???
Gimmee fry's!"

It was a great party and as the bills came around and everyone was asking about the first round, Zyckmann could be heard complaining about the $1 he was charged for his substitute cottage cheese.

A whole dollar?!!?

Cottage cheese? Who orders cottage cheese with their sandwich anyway?

Apparently the legend of cycling asked if he could substitute cottage cheese for the french fry's and the waitress said that he could.


However, there was apparently a $1 up charge that Fabio objected to. Oh, the humanity!!!

Other than that, it was a perfect afternoon of riding, drinking and eating!

Even cottage cheese! Oh, the humanity.....cottage cheese! Who eats that? Well, apparently ZYCKMANN does!

Toe even braided his beard for
the ride!

It has been a great season, and a great ending to what was a crazy last couple of weeks in the Nation.

Have a great winter and see you all in the spring!!!


BARRY ROUBAIX REPORT!!

Belo News
October 23, 2019

Reb, Nutjob, Yeti Boy, Gazelle Girl and Brewman!

Hasting, Mi. - Gazelle Girl and her friend Nutjob, organized a mid week Barry Roubaix Ride through the legendary gravel roads of southwest Hastings and Yankee Springs on October 23.

They had a great turn out with Reb, Yeti Boy and Brewman joining the group for the ride and Sharkman and Lava Girl and some friends joining them at the Walldorff after doing a photo tour of the area.

They could not have picked a more beautiful fall afternoon to do the ride and though Nutjob started out at a torrid pace, the Shark Minions reeled him back in and settled into a more comfortable ride before ending up at the Waldorff for beer and food. Reb had to leave due to family obligations, but the rest of the party rocked. It was a great afternoon of riding, photo taking and partying!!!

The Walldorff was Rocking!

Ah, Barry Roubaix in the fall!

Last days of fall.........have a seat!

IRONMAN AND KID DOSTER CHECK IN!

Belo News
October 25, 2019

Ironman and Kid Doster!
Love the jersey, Ironman!

Moab, Ut. - Many of the Shark Minions have asked how that legend of the peloton, Ironman, is doing out in Utah, as well as where in the heck has Kid Doster been?

You ask and Belo News delivers! Here is a report from the legend hizzelf, Ironman!

Take it away, Ironman:

"Well another year of Tour de Gull is almost in the books.  It sounds like you had a successful year.  I sure do miss those Saturday morning rides.  Utah has a lot to offer, but I haven't found anything to compare to that ride. 

 

Kid Doster was out here last weekend visiting and we had a great time.  We woke up Saturday morning and it was cold and rainy, so what do you do when that happens?  You load the bikes up and head to where it's sunny and 70.  Moab, of course. I mean, doesn't everyone?

I hope this finds you both (he sent this to both Gazelle Girl and Belo News) well and the invitation is open you and all the Minions.

Have a great day."

After a brief email exchange with Ironman, and after commenting on his great jersey, he responded.......

"Gotta represent the mighty minion nation!

Maybe I could make a shameless plug for making the newsletter next week?"

Here it is Ironman, sorry we didn't get it in last week!

Hope to see you soon and have a great winter!!!

RIDE REPORT?


PHOTOS?

WHEN DOES OUR INTREPID HERO, THE SHARKMAN RETURN!??

THIS SATURDAY IS THE FIFTH ANNUAL "IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY!!!

AND SHARKMAN RETURNS!!!

BE THERE!!!

Belo News
October 26, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cold (very cold) and dark (very dark) over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was just rustling out of his Shark Bed and swimming his way to the Shark kitchen to fire up the Shark coffee pot.

He wasn't riding that day, as he was still nursing the wounded fin, but was wondering how the Nation was going to handle the later start on the ride this cold, dark morning.

On the previous day, Gazelle Girl put out a text to the "Lucky One's" (a sub group of the mighty Shark Minion Nation) requesting a later launch time due to the predicted 37 degree temps predicted for the designated launch time of 9 a.m.

Several of the "puppy" Minions jumped on the "warmer start" bandwagon, with the legendary Zykmann being the first in, and others followed suit immediately. Wait, don't the Minions ride in the winter when it is regularly in the 30's or colder?

Sharkman, being on the distribution for the Lucky One's, determined that he needed to get a
"Time Change" Update out to the Nation and did so.

So, did anyone ride?.....you ask?

Belo News reached out to Gazelle Girl to determine if anyone had ridden and if there were any photos, and got the following, quickly thrown together but in-depth report......

Ace Reporter: Gazelle Girl

"Yes! Yeti, Zychmannnnn, Stingray, Toesetter and me. I failed to call for a photo and no one else did either :(

It was quite pleasant and we finished before the rain. Yeti had a tailgate party featuring walnut bread and butter for all (Delish!). 

The highlight was a conversation about the intricacies of sexual coupling whilst wearing and indwelling catheter. Is this a great country or what???"

Editors note: Well, that might be more in depth than we needed, but better than nothing.....
Thanks Gazelle Girl for your riveting reporting!



FIFTH ANNUAL IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News
October 30, 2019

Sharkman is back!

Augusta, Mi. - The big day has finally arrived!

This Saturday is the grand finale for the mighty Shark Minion Nation! Well, there will certainly be some informal rides, weather permitting, but this is it on the 31st Shark Minion Season!

The fifth annual "In Lieu of Iceman Ride/Party" will be this Saturday at Fort Custer and you won't want to miss this edition as our intrepid hero, The Sharkman, returns to his beloved Shark Minion Nation.

Remember, all are invited! Even if you do not mountain bike, please join us for dinner at Players in Augusta at 4 p.m. Significant others are also welcome so come on out and enjoy the great beer and food at Players!

Here is the drill!

Launch Time of 2 p.m. a the Trail head at Fort Custer (you are on your own for any post ride refreshments).

The riders will then convene at Players at 4 p.m. for adult beverages and dinner, where significant other will join the group and those road riders and guests who just want to take part in the festivities.

Sharkman looks forward to seeing everyone!

Be there!

SHARK MINIONS INVADE THE FORT!

Bissell Boy and his posse!

SAME DRILL THIS WEEK, BUNKIE!!!

IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY ON SATURDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2019!

MARK YOU CALENDARS NOW!

Belo News
October 19, 2019

Augusta, Mi.- While our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, slept in nursing his cut up fin, some of the Nation invaded Fort Custer for the annual "Return to Nature!"

Fortunately, Bissell Boy was in attendance and took the time to file the following riveting report on the days ride!

Take it away, Bissell Boy!!!


Reb, Yeti Boy, Gazelle Girl, Toe Setter and I met at the trail head at the appointed time. 

Gazelle Girl gave a briefing that the Green Loop would be closed intermittently over the next two weeks so we decided to give it a go. 

Saturday is a reverse route day and as we rolled out we met up with Dr. Dave and Mike(not sure if he is a minion - Joan knows him?) who had already been out on the trail.

BB hizzelf lead out the group hoping to control the pace, but it was not to be. 20 minutes in the lead was passed to Toe Setter and BB fell off the back a bit gassed. 

In order to catch the group BB took a short cut to catch the group,..... and his breath. 

Reb circled back fearing BB had crashed and heeding the creed “no minion left behind,” and lost the group for a bit. The group regathered and over the stream and through the woods we went. 

Shark Minions ready to rock the Fort!

The last sighting BB had of the group was Dr. Dave making a left on the Reverse Red just across form the Amusement Park.

Needing to get home, BB pedaled the red/yellow/ red back to the parking lot.

That’s all I have hopefully someone else will chime in. Edit at will.

Off to Oregon to see my Dad next weekend then NYC to visit Jack the following weekend so see you after that.

Heal up, 

BB

Thanks BB for coming through with this great report of the first "Official" Mountain Bike ride of the year.....and it isn't the last! BUT WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS? The Nation loves to see there mugs in print!!!

This Saturday the mighty Shark Minion Nation will do it again! And who will write the report this week?!?

Same drill, Bunkie!!!

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Launch Time from the Trail Head - 9:00 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

IN LIEU OF ICEMAN RIDE/PARTY ON SATURDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2019!

MARK YOU CALENDARS NOW!

SHARKMAN RETURNS!!!

Belo News
October 23, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - Don't forget that the end of year extravaganza, known as the "In Lieu of Iceman Ride/Party will be on the the first Saturday of November, which is;

November 2, 2019

This annual event included a ride at 2 p.m. at the Fort for those Shark Minions who mountain bike.

You are welcome to bring your own refreshments.


The Shark Nation will then meet up at Players in Augusta for dinner and adult beverages. Road only Shark Minions and significant others, are invited to attend this annual event that marks the close of Sharkman having to write this blog until next season.....wait.....did I just say that out loud?!?

Who are we kidding?! Sharkman loves his mighty Shark Minion Nation and wants to party!!!

Oh, the humanity!

So, once again, 2 p.m. launch at the Trail Head and 4 p.m. at Players in August for ALL Minions and significant others!

Sharkman plans to make hiz return to his beloved Shark Nation for this ride so.........

Be there!!!


Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SPECIAL EDITION!

THE MIGHTY SHARK MINION NATION WELCOMES,

THE KRAKEN!

NEW EDITION TO THE SASQUATCH FAMILY IS FINALLY HERE!

Belo News
October 17, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - While preparing this morning's issue of Belo News, our editors kept thinking, ...."We're forgetting something, ....but what?!?"

Of course, our main Editor is 70 now and can hopefully be forgiven for his forgetfulness, right?

Yes, our Editor forgot the most important story of the day, yesterday!!!

Belo News is pleased to announce a New Shark Minion has joined the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

Born on October 2, (2 days before our intrepid hero, the Sharkman's birthday) to Mr. & Mrs. Sasquatch, we introduce The Kraken!!!

From Sasquatch hizzelf......

Hi Shark,

The Long awaited newest Minion is finally here. 

Well actually he was born on October 2nd. Like with our first (Loch Ness), this one comes with a nickname too. He is "the Kraken." Everyone is doing well and Mom and Dad are adjusting to having a two year old toddler and a newborn.

See everyone next season!

Sasquatch

Thanks Sasquatch and congratulations to you and Mrs. Sasquatch! You'll have your hands full for a while, but we expect to see you next season if not sooner!

The mighty Shark Minion Nation sends it's love and congratulations to the Sasquatch Family!

God bless!

Attachments area

IRONMAN OF THE YEAR AWARDED TO BREWMAN!!!

DEAD TIE FOR THE FINAL SPRINT!!!

Brewman and PNG, aka Hoosier Boy!

AND, THE COLD ASS AWARD GOES TO........

WEEKDAY BARRY-ROUBAIX ON OCTOBER 23?

SHARKMAN ON INJURED RESERVED LIST???

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News
October 12, 2019

Galesburg, Mi. - What has happened to the mighty Shark Minion Nation season?

First, Wildman wimps out of leading, only to be replaced by Gazelle Girl (who can always be counted on.....well.....almost) and 4 other riders in Sharkman's absence the first week......

Then, ......no Gazelle Girl the second week!?!

Wait? What????

But none of this stopped two intrepid Minions from braving the 38 degree temps and heading out this past Saturday to keep the Nation's streak going!

Not only that, but they did a write up!  With a photo!!

Take it away, special reporter Hoosier Boy, or should we say, PNG!!!.....


Special edition of Belo News:
By Ace Reporter, PNG

Editors note:  Since Hoosier Boy won the Sharkman sprint and the G spot sprint, he will hereinafter be referred to as “persona non grata” or PNG for short.

It was a cold day to ride. 

Brewman waited alone in his car staying warm on a day when the temperature was hovering around 38 degrees. He silently hoped that no one would show up so he could go back home and get back in bed. 

Alas, at 8:25 PNG showed up ready to ride. 

The two minions rode off waiving to Andrew as they passed the Klutch.  While the temp never moved north of 40 degrees, the riders warmed up and completed the ride in record time. 

Year end awards were decided as the minions rode thru downtown Galesburg at the end of the ride:

Participation awards (for showing up) - Brewman and PNG

Iron man award (for most rides this year) - Brewman

Final sprint of the final ride:  First and second - Brewman and PNG in a dead heat

Cold my ass award - all you losers who remained snuggled under the covers on Saturday morning

(Editors Note - Thanks PNG for a riveting write up on the frosty ride! You and Brewman are proof of how tough the mighty Minion Nation is (well, some of them....).

Hope to see you both as mountain bike season ramps up!!!

WEEKDAY BARRY-ROUBAIX ON OCTOBER 23?

Belo News
October 16, 2019

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - Don't forget a special "weekday" edition of Belo News with Gazelle Girl is coming up next week! That's right Bunkie, Barry-Roubaix because we couldn't fit it in this on a Saturday this year with the other activities going on!

Wednesday, October 23, 2019 Barry-Roubaix Ride with Gazelle Girl and Nutjob!

Anyone interested can contact Gazelle Girl 665-4555 / joan.o@comcast.net OR simply show up behind the Walldorff in the Parking lot for a 2 p.m. - SHARP! LAUNCH!

BE THERE!

SHARKMAN ON INJURED RESERVE LIST???

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News
October 16, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - Our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, and his lovely bride, Lava Girl, have returned from the "Sharkman 70th Birthday Tour" and their trip to the "Lost Coast of California!"

What a whirlwind trip it was! And not without some drama!??

Drama, you say?

First of all, Sharkman's daughters and Sharklets put on an "over the top!" Birthday Celebration for our hero. We call it a celebration because party doesn't cover it!

It isn't everyday that a legend turns 70, but wow, this was one heck of a 4 day Birthday Celebration!!!

The people at Top Golf sining Happy Birthday
to Sharkman his Sharklets!

The reporters from Belo News are completely worn out from all the festivities, special surprises, dinners and games that made this one heck of a Sharkman weekend!

Sharkman's daughters, Nicole and Colleen, put on a great show for the weekend and Sharkman was completely humbled by his families show of affection!

They ROCKED IT! as the photos show!!!

The Sharklet's even got dressed up and put on ties for their dinner at a Russian Restaurant!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Colleen and Nicole!

After a weekend of eating, drinking, hitting golf balls, eating numerous birthday cakes, sitting in the hot tub and swimming in the pool, Sharkman and Lava Girl were set to head out on their trip to the "Lost Coast" of California!

On Monday morning, Sharkman decided he needed to remove the snow basket's from Lava Girls hiking sticks, as they would be hiking, but not hiking in snow! But he could not get them off the sticks and decided to try to cut them off.

The Shark Family!

After getting the first one off, he started on the second and that is when it happened.

Our hero managed to cut through the basket and into his left hand! Oh, the humanity!

Sharkman's daughter, Colleen, no stranger to medical emergencies, flew into action and got our hero to the Emergency Room in record time!

The Doctor was great and after 2 1/2 hours, 4 internal and 11 external stitches, our hero was finally on his way to the Lost Coast!!!

Our hero, the Sharkman, in the
Emergency Room!

Wow, that is one honker bandage!

Injury does not stop Sharkman
From hoisting a cool one
in Shelter Cove!

Lava Girl and Sharkman enjoying a drink
on the balcony of their room in
Shelter Cove.

Sunset from our Shelter Cove balcony!

Unfortunately, this might put our hero out of action for the next couple of weeks, but the ride will go on at Fort Custer!

Is this a great country or what?!?

That's right, Bunkie!

This Saturday the mighty Shark Minion Nation moves to Fort Custer for some mountain Biking!

The next two Saturdays, the Nation will meet at the Trail Head at 9 a.m. to ride. Sharkman will not be able to ride because of his hand (The stitches don't even come out until next week) but will be back for the "In Lieu of Iceman" ride/Party on Saturday, November 2, 2019. 

So mark your calendars for that November 2 at 2 p.m for the ride and 4 p.m for the Party at Players in Augusta. Spouses and significant others welcome. 

More on that in next week's edition of Belo News (if anyone sends a story and/or photos)!

Sharkman hopes to see everyone on November 2 and even hopes to ride!

More next week!

HAPPY 70TH BIRTHDAY, SHARKMAN!

YETI BOY SUPPLIES THE CAKE!

The "First Couple" of the Nation!

SHARKMAN SUPPLIES THE KOFFEE!

TWO MORE WEEKS OF THE KK-TdG!

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT!?!

Belo News
September 29, 2019

Galesburg, Mi. - As the entire cycling world is aware, our intrepid hero's Birthday Ride was rained out. But that didn't stop a small but ruckus group of Minions to celebrate the diminutive Shark's 70th Birthday!

Yeti Boys Masterpiece and Mrs. Yeti's artwork!

Yeti Boy, proving once again that he is a World Class Baker, provided the Raspberry Birthday Cake and Sharkman bought the koffee! This is a great country!

Zyckmann arrived in his Shark Minion Jersey claiming he had read the blog (for a change) as the koffee started to flow!

Bissell Boy, Mrs. Yeti Boy, Fire, Reb, Hermster, Wildman and Super Trooper were all in attendance and sang a pretty good rendition of "Happy Birthday" while Sharkman blasted the candles in one breath!

There was even enough cake for the second shift of the Early Morning Koffee Group and for Andrew!

Big thanks to Lava Girl, Yeti Boy and wife, Mrs. Yeti and the entire crew for making Sharkman fell special! (Well, even more special than he thinks he already is!!!)

After speeches by the Mayor of Galesburg, a couple of Senators and a Congressman and, of course, the Governor, the paparazzi grabbed a few photos and the press interviewed their cycling hero's, talking about how the season would continue in Sharkman's absence.

Zyckmann in his Shark Minion Jersey
showing safari photos to Mr. & Mrs. Yeti boy!

It was decided that the KK-TdG would continue for the next two weeks, with Wildman volunteering to lead the Nation. The Nation will then move to Fort Custer for mountain biking the last two weeks of October before the In Leiu of Iceman Ride and Party on November 3, 2019.

Unfortunately, there will be no Belo News for the next two weeks. Oh, the humanity!!!

But the ride goes on!

Saturday, October 5, 2019 Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Saturday, October 12, 2019 Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Riders are on their own concerning the weather, however, Wildman said he would do his best to be there!

Lava Girl begins the ceremonial candle lighting.....

Saturday, October 19, 2019 the Nation will move to Fort Custer and more information will be put out that week when the Sharkman returns!

In the interim, ride safe!!!

Sharkman was enjoying hizzelf!

All in one blow!!! Is this a great country
or what!?!?

OK, Sharkman, you did it......

One happy Birthday Boy!

Yeti Boy with his Masterpiece!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Mrs. Yeti serving up the Masterpiece!

Things got quiet as they started on the cake!

Super Trooper was eating right down
to the crumps!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

RIDE RAINED OUT!

RIDE CANCELLED!

BUT KOFFEE IS ON AT 10 A.M. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Belo News
September 28, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - Dawn isn't breaking very bright over the Shark Cove this morning, as our intrepid hero pours over weather charts, as the Weather Channel buzzes in the background.......

Though it does look like the rain will stop for a while, it looks like it will start right back up again around launch time. Therefore, the ride is cancelled, but come on down to the Koffee Klutch around 10 a.m. to celebrate Sharkman's Birthday and to discuss weather to keep the road season open for another week or two while he is gone.

The koffee is on Sharkman!



Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SURPRISE CELEBRITY RIDER WINS THE TAPE!!!

Virgin Minions, Celebrity Rider, no Gazelle Girl!
What a morning!!!

WOMAN RIDERS EVERYWHERE, BUT NO GAZELLE GIRL???

Dreamboat returns and wins!!!

OH, THE HUMANITY!!!

GAZELLE GIRL ABSENT AND STILL MAKES THE BLOG???

OH, DOUBLE THE HUMANITY!

SHARKMAN TURNS 70??? 
SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!




LAST KK-TdG OF THE SEASON?!! MAYBE.......

OH, TRIPLE THE HUMANITY!!!

Belo News
September  21, 2019

Shark Cove, Mi. - Dawn had not yet broken over the Shark Cove as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, shook the sleep from his Tahitian blue, ice cold, shark eyes. He was returning to the Nation after a week off and was pretty excited to don his Shark Minion 30th Year Anniversary Jersey AND matching bib shorts.

As he passed the Shark mirror, he took a moment to admire how regal he looked in his Shark Minion attire, knowing he was living the Shark Minion credo that declares, "if you can't be good, look good!" and on this day, the Sharkman was looking good!

Virgin Minion Liz!
Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

The wily Shark was becoming a bit concerned as launch time approached and it was still dark outside the Coves window. He had considered moving the start time back, but with the warm weather, thought he would wait one more week, but was now having some second thoughts.......

As the Shark Clock chimed 7 a.m., there was more than enough light to safely ride, and as he began to get his steed ready, two bike headlights were shining up the cul de sac at the center of the world of cycling known as the Shark Cove.

It was Yeti Boy and he had a virgin Minion in tow by the name of Liz, whom he had met at the Health Food Store. Though not having a Shark Minion name, Health Food Girl was in the mix. Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Liz (possibly Health Food Girl)!

The three riders headed out on Watkins wondering if Reb would have his act together on this fine morning, and if Fire would make sure he was on time. As they approached Helmer Road, their lights could be seen blinking up the road and immediately they knew that Fire had apparently gotten Reb back on time. The guy just needs some adult supervision......

Virgin Minion Kim!
Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation!

The ride over was uneventful and as the riders descended into Galesburg, they saw Hermster doing his warm up lap and realized they were either early or he was running late, but none the less, they were enjoying the fact it was in the high 60's with no wind in mid September and the morning could not have been more beautiful!

The early morning koffee group gave a wave as Sharkman and his entourage passed and rode on to the start.

Yeti Boy was pleased to see that the school had put in a porto john and Sharkman just had to avail himself. No one seemed to know why the porto john had appeared, but the Nation is appreciative! (Though there was some suspicion someone was reviewing the tapes in back.....)

Riders started to arrive, including Brewman, this seasons "Ironman" of the peleton and Squeaky, who was sans winter gloves! When he arrived he immediately began his yoga regiment, while blowing on his cold hands.....

Then it happened.....

That legend of the peloton, that west coast wonder, that cyclist of cyclists, Dreamboat was back in the mix! It was great to have the former full time Minion back in the Nation as he answered questions about the west coast and living in San Diego and whether he had found a group to ride with. In his inevitable form, he commented that he was not going to find another group like the Minion Nation! Well said, young Dreamboat, well said!!!

Wildman in his Anniversary Kit!

Soon other Minions arrived, including another virgin Minion by the name of Kim (Minion Name to be determined). Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Kim! It was later suggested at koffee that she maybe is a child psychologist, to which the entire Nation acknowledged that she should fit right in with the Nation, as most of them have never actually grown up and could use some major counseling!

It was a rare Minion ride that did not include the "Sweetheart of the Peloton," known as Gazelle Girl, but she was up north touring the U.P. with her perennial "other guy," Toesetter. It was also a rare morning when there were three ladies in the peloton, that didn't include Gazelle Girl!

Oh, the humanity!

Other riders on the day (the count was 13 at the start and one rider jumped on later) were Vlad the Impaler and Skittles, who kept the Nation waiting as he primped himself for the start photo!

After some introductions, safety tips and the start photo, and to the sound of pedals clicking in as the sun continued to rise in the east, the mighty Shark Minion train pulled out of the station and began their assault on that "field of dreams" known affectionately as the KK-TdG!

As the Nation rode by the Klutch, the early morning crew were still on hand to wave to their hero's in the peloton as J-Dog jumped on, making it 14 riders on the day.

Yeti Boy in his Anniversary Kit!

J-Dog and Skittles did the work at the front, keeping the pace up as Sharkman tried to work his way up and down the peloton to press the flesh and make sure the virgin Minions and the Celebrity Rider were feeling welcome and a part of the Nation.

Sharkman got back up the front and latched on to Skittles and held on until J-Dog went by, taking the speed up and making the veteran Shark work WAY too hard, taking the first, honorary sprint at a season high of 25.1 mph.

Squeaky moved up to take the next sprint, uncontested, in the run up to the col de Twin Lakes. Though a part of the "uncontested" seems to be that the Stop Ahead sign is STILL missing!

The riders broke apart as they scrambled up the hardest climb on the ride, but came back together at the Stop Ahead where Sharkman confirmed the count.

The ride crossed Rt. 89, then past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the turn and this section was even faster than normal, with Dreamboat, J-Dog, Skittles, Sharkman and Kim all taking turns at the front and pushing the pace. The pace was so quick, it took the steam out of Hermsters usual Rt. 43 Sprint attack and the group came in right behind Dreamboat as he edged out Skittles and the Nation for the win.

Where'd that come from?

Up the col de Norte and through the Holy Rollers, the mighty Shark Minion Nation was running at full throttle as the peloton rode fast and tight, even in the actual "rollers!"

At the Feed Stop, Sharkman declared that the pace line would be counter clockwise after the Digital Divide and gave a brief instruction on the principle of a pace line.

Squeaky doing his yoga routine.....
sans winter gloves....

The Nation then headed out on the low road to the Inlet as no one seems to want to ride the old road.

After the Digital Divide, J-Dog took the pace line out and stated he would take it to the top of the short hill after the Bermuda Triangle for flat tires (long time readers will remember that area). After J-Dog peeled off, Sharkman took over and did the obligatory few seconds at the front and faded to the left. The next rider came through fine, but when Sharkman dropped back to around the 6th bike there was a huge gap! He looked up and saw, once again, riders not slowing down in the outside lane, talking to those in the pace line. This smaller line, shifted through and when Sharkman fell to the back again, noticed that riders were not slowing fast enough, causing the pace line to speed and slow creating a major "yo-yo" effect.

Sharkman tried shouting out for the outside line to slow and move back, but more gaps opened and once again, the pace line failed.....

Though the Nation has never excelled at this simple cycling function, they used to at least be able to form one that had a slight resemblance to what is known as a pace line. When a pace line is formed, it is phenomenal to ride in. It is also great for virgin and newer Minions to learn how to ride in a group.

The Nation has gotten speeds up to 25-26+ mph when they've created a good pace line. The Nation will get this right!!!

Brewman in his Shark kit!

As the mighty train of riders bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint and with Gazelle Girl out of the picture, J-Dog decided to try to lead out Kim, so that another woman could take the coveted sprint.

However, at the last moment, Skittles pulled off a "dick move" and stole the sprint away, claiming he was upholding Gazelle Girl "honor" and he dedicated the victory to the "Sweetheart of the Peloton." Not sure how virgin Minion Kim felt about that, but again, Gazelle Girl wins without even being there! Another victory for America or a Dick Move?

A light turn out at the Klutch. Sharkman made it
lighter by cutting Wildman out of the shot!
Sorry Wildman......

Belo News reports, you decide!

Is this a great country or what?!?

As the Nation headed south, to the final victory, the peloton was bunched up and Sharkman began to worry, as there were some "big dogs" in the pack, itching to make their moves, but not wanting to be at the front first.

Hermster made a move, but now everyone was covering it, including Skittles, and what seemed like a nice, double pace line, formed up with some of those big dogs near the front, pushing the pace hard.

As they began the final ascent to the finish, the peloton began to splinter and Sharkman for one, jumped from wheel to wheel looking for any opportunity to jump on and get close.

Dreamboat and J-Dog opened a gap and Skittles then had to try to make a move from the back to try to cover it.

Nike Boy arrives to press the flesh!

The race was on!

As the mighty Shark Minions shot down the hill, riders went back and forth, keeping clean lines, as Skittles moved up, but could not quite catch on to Dreamboat, who took the win with Skittles on his wheel and J-Dog taking the last spot on the podium!

It was a victory for America!!!

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild as their hero's rode down the Champs le Galesburg to the press conference at the Koffee Klutch! People with baskets of cheese and wine flooded the streets as the riders zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors.

Sharkman threw down the first $20, instructing the barista to take it to $15 and keep a $5 tip, but it was all they needed as only 6 Minions stopped for their Bottomless.

Wait......what???

The Klutch was rocking when to everyones surprise.... in walked that legend of the peloton and occasional (very occasional) Minion, Nikeboy stopped in to press the flesh. He had tried to find the Nation at the Sparty Korner but the pace was so quick on the morning (19.55 mph) that he was too late and had to ride into the Klutch solo!

After large quantities of koffee were consumed, Sharkman, Yeti Boy and Nikeboy headed out for the Shark Cove after another fantastic Saturday morning!!!

It was a great day to be Sharkman and to have a Minion Nation!!!

Nike Boy showing why he is
the "Style Guy!"

You won't want to miss this weeks ride, which may be the last road ride of the year!

"Wait,....what?" you say!

The Nation has historically ridden into the first, and sometimes, second week into October before moving to the mountain bike. But this year, Sharkman is heading out to California for the first two weeks of October to celebrate his 70th birthday with his Sharklets.

That's right Bunkie, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, will be 70 on October 4.

Who can forget when the old Shark turned 60? Who can forget when the Nation celebrated, "Sharkman goes on Medicare" when he turned 65?

Well, here is your opportunity to celebrate hizzelf turning 70!!! Oh, the humanity!!! Man, where did those years go???

Since he will be gone, a determination on extending the road year will be discussed this Saturday or you can let Sharkman know by email.

In the interim and in celebration of our hero's 70th, this Saturday has been declared as Shark Minion Jersey Day!

Skittles enjoying his post ride
lunch!

We know, the Nation wore them two weeks ago and knowing the Nation, may not as yet have made the turn on their bike laundry by this Saturday. But pull it together, Bunkie, and get that jersey washed so you can wear it for the Sharkman's Birthday Ride!!! Hell, wear it dirty, just don't ride near the Sharkman if you do!!!

Due to the the early morning darkness, the ride will be delayed a half an hour to 8:30 a.m.!

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Sharkman's Birthday Ride - Shark Minion Jersey Day!!!

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m.!

There might be cake!!!

Be there!!!



THE MISSING REPORT ARRIVES!!!

..........LATE!!

Belo News
September 14, 2019

Wildman is in focus, but the start line is a bit fuzzy!
Looks like Sharkman took it.....

Shark Cove, Mi. - As the world of cycling is aware, Belo News did not post an edition last week. Apparently, ace reporter, Wildman simply forgot he was on deck to write it.

After the email went out explaining that nothing had been received, Wildman immediately sent an apology text with this very in depth report of the ride!

"Seven riders showed up. Four jumped on. A ride happened. Monster pulls by J-Dog and Falcon. 

Koffee was consumed."

Wow! Where else can you get that type of in depth, riveting reporting?!?

At Belo News, that's where!!! 

The Klutch rocked even without their intrepid hero,
the Sharkman. 

Oh, the humanity!!!

Plus two photos! One out of focus and one with the light behind it!!! Fortunately, Belo News can edit....

Thanks Wildman (we think......)!










BARRY-ROUBAIX RIDE IN OCTOBER!

Belo News

September 25, 2019

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - Gazelle Girl has a Barry-Roubaix Ride scheduled for a weekday in October that you won't want to miss. Here are the details from Gazelle Girl herzzelf!!

Weekday Barry Roubaix Ride with Nut Job!

Lansing resident with the British accent, Nut Job, is proposing a Barry Roubaix ride launching from The Walldorff parking lot on Wednesday, Oct 23 at 2 pm. 

Rain date: Oct 30. 

Let's enjoy some fall colors on the gravel roads of Barry County with refreshments after wards!

HOOSIER BOY AND THE MIGHTY MONK ROCK DANCES WITH DIRT!!!

Hoosier Boy and Mighty Monk with the
Dirt Dogs!

Belo News

September 21, 2019

Chelsea, Mi. - The Shark Minion Nations own Hoosier Boy and Mighty Monk rocked the Dances with Dirt competition this past Saturday at the Pickney Wildlife area this past week, finishing 13th across the line but moving up to 4th after the handicap, which is the best finish ever for the Dirt Dogs!

Sharkman was actually on the team the first five Dances with Dirt along with Dirt Dog Wes (far right) in the photo. As many of you know this is a 65 mile relay race through woods, mud, barbed wire, laced with hills, sand and muck. 

Congratulations to our Shark Minions and their Dirt Dog Teammates! You did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.