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| Virgin Minions, Celebrity Rider, no Gazelle Girl! What a morning!!! |
WOMAN RIDERS EVERYWHERE, BUT NO GAZELLE GIRL???
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| Dreamboat returns and wins!!! |
OH, THE HUMANITY!!!
GAZELLE GIRL ABSENT AND STILL MAKES THE BLOG???
OH, DOUBLE THE HUMANITY!
SHARKMAN TURNS 70???
SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!
LAST KK-TdG OF THE SEASON?!! MAYBE.......
OH, TRIPLE THE HUMANITY!!!
Belo News
September 21, 2019
Shark Cove, Mi. - Dawn had not yet broken over the Shark Cove as our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, shook the sleep from his Tahitian blue, ice cold, shark eyes. He was returning to the Nation after a week off and was pretty excited to don his Shark Minion 30th Year Anniversary Jersey AND matching bib shorts.
As he passed the Shark mirror, he took a moment to admire how regal he looked in his Shark Minion attire, knowing he was living the Shark Minion credo that declares, "if you can't be good, look good!" and on this day, the Sharkman was looking good!
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| Virgin Minion Liz! Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation! |
The wily Shark was becoming a bit concerned as launch time approached and it was still dark outside the Coves window. He had considered moving the start time back, but with the warm weather, thought he would wait one more week, but was now having some second thoughts.......
As the Shark Clock chimed 7 a.m., there was more than enough light to safely ride, and as he began to get his steed ready, two bike headlights were shining up the cul de sac at the center of the world of cycling known as the Shark Cove.
It was Yeti Boy and he had a virgin Minion in tow by the name of Liz, whom he had met at the Health Food Store. Though not having a Shark Minion name, Health Food Girl was in the mix. Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Liz (possibly Health Food Girl)!
The three riders headed out on Watkins wondering if Reb would have his act together on this fine morning, and if Fire would make sure he was on time. As they approached Helmer Road, their lights could be seen blinking up the road and immediately they knew that Fire had apparently gotten Reb back on time. The guy just needs some adult supervision......
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| Virgin Minion Kim! Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation! |
The ride over was uneventful and as the riders descended into Galesburg, they saw Hermster doing his warm up lap and realized they were either early or he was running late, but none the less, they were enjoying the fact it was in the high 60's with no wind in mid September and the morning could not have been more beautiful!
The early morning koffee group gave a wave as Sharkman and his entourage passed and rode on to the start.
Yeti Boy was pleased to see that the school had put in a porto john and Sharkman just had to avail himself. No one seemed to know why the porto john had appeared, but the Nation is appreciative! (Though there was some suspicion someone was reviewing the tapes in back.....)
Riders started to arrive, including Brewman, this seasons "Ironman" of the peleton and Squeaky, who was sans winter gloves! When he arrived he immediately began his yoga regiment, while blowing on his cold hands.....
Then it happened.....
That legend of the peloton, that west coast wonder, that cyclist of cyclists, Dreamboat was back in the mix! It was great to have the former full time Minion back in the Nation as he answered questions about the west coast and living in San Diego and whether he had found a group to ride with. In his inevitable form, he commented that he was not going to find another group like the Minion Nation! Well said, young Dreamboat, well said!!!
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| Wildman in his Anniversary Kit! |
Soon other Minions arrived, including another virgin Minion by the name of Kim (Minion Name to be determined). Welcome to the mighty Shark Minion Nation, Kim! It was later suggested at koffee that she maybe is a child psychologist, to which the entire Nation acknowledged that she should fit right in with the Nation, as most of them have never actually grown up and could use some major counseling!
It was a rare Minion ride that did not include the "Sweetheart of the Peloton," known as Gazelle Girl, but she was up north touring the U.P. with her perennial "other guy," Toesetter. It was also a rare morning when there were three ladies in the peloton, that didn't include Gazelle Girl!
Oh, the humanity!
Other riders on the day (the count was 13 at the start and one rider jumped on later) were Vlad the Impaler and Skittles, who kept the Nation waiting as he primped himself for the start photo!
After some introductions, safety tips and the start photo, and to the sound of pedals clicking in as the sun continued to rise in the east, the mighty Shark Minion train pulled out of the station and began their assault on that "field of dreams" known affectionately as the KK-TdG!
As the Nation rode by the Klutch, the early morning crew were still on hand to wave to their hero's in the peloton as J-Dog jumped on, making it 14 riders on the day.
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| Yeti Boy in his Anniversary Kit! |
J-Dog and Skittles did the work at the front, keeping the pace up as Sharkman tried to work his way up and down the peloton to press the flesh and make sure the virgin Minions and the Celebrity Rider were feeling welcome and a part of the Nation.
Sharkman got back up the front and latched on to Skittles and held on until J-Dog went by, taking the speed up and making the veteran Shark work WAY too hard, taking the first, honorary sprint at a season high of 25.1 mph.
Squeaky moved up to take the next sprint, uncontested, in the run up to the col de Twin Lakes. Though a part of the "uncontested" seems to be that the Stop Ahead sign is STILL missing!
The riders broke apart as they scrambled up the hardest climb on the ride, but came back together at the Stop Ahead where Sharkman confirmed the count.
The ride crossed Rt. 89, then past the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the turn and this section was even faster than normal, with Dreamboat, J-Dog, Skittles, Sharkman and Kim all taking turns at the front and pushing the pace. The pace was so quick, it took the steam out of Hermsters usual Rt. 43 Sprint attack and the group came in right behind Dreamboat as he edged out Skittles and the Nation for the win.
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| Where'd that come from? |
Up the col de Norte and through the Holy Rollers, the mighty Shark Minion Nation was running at full throttle as the peloton rode fast and tight, even in the actual "rollers!"
At the Feed Stop, Sharkman declared that the pace line would be counter clockwise after the Digital Divide and gave a brief instruction on the principle of a pace line.
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| Squeaky doing his yoga routine..... sans winter gloves.... |
The Nation then headed out on the low road to the Inlet as no one seems to want to ride the old road.
After the Digital Divide, J-Dog took the pace line out and stated he would take it to the top of the short hill after the Bermuda Triangle for flat tires (long time readers will remember that area). After J-Dog peeled off, Sharkman took over and did the obligatory few seconds at the front and faded to the left. The next rider came through fine, but when Sharkman dropped back to around the 6th bike there was a huge gap! He looked up and saw, once again, riders not slowing down in the outside lane, talking to those in the pace line. This smaller line, shifted through and when Sharkman fell to the back again, noticed that riders were not slowing fast enough, causing the pace line to speed and slow creating a major "yo-yo" effect.
Sharkman tried shouting out for the outside line to slow and move back, but more gaps opened and once again, the pace line failed.....
Though the Nation has never excelled at this simple cycling function, they used to at least be able to form one that had a slight resemblance to what is known as a pace line. When a pace line is formed, it is phenomenal to ride in. It is also great for virgin and newer Minions to learn how to ride in a group.
The Nation has gotten speeds up to 25-26+ mph when they've created a good pace line. The Nation will get this right!!!
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| Brewman in his Shark kit! |
As the mighty train of riders bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint and with Gazelle Girl out of the picture, J-Dog decided to try to lead out Kim, so that another woman could take the coveted sprint.
However, at the last moment, Skittles pulled off a "dick move" and stole the sprint away, claiming he was upholding Gazelle Girl "honor" and he dedicated the victory to the "Sweetheart of the Peloton." Not sure how virgin Minion Kim felt about that, but again, Gazelle Girl wins without even being there! Another victory for America or a Dick Move?
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| A light turn out at the Klutch. Sharkman made it lighter by cutting Wildman out of the shot! Sorry Wildman...... |
Belo News reports, you decide!
Is this a great country or what?!?
As the Nation headed south, to the final victory, the peloton was bunched up and Sharkman began to worry, as there were some "big dogs" in the pack, itching to make their moves, but not wanting to be at the front first.
Hermster made a move, but now everyone was covering it, including Skittles, and what seemed like a nice, double pace line, formed up with some of those big dogs near the front, pushing the pace hard.
As they began the final ascent to the finish, the peloton began to splinter and Sharkman for one, jumped from wheel to wheel looking for any opportunity to jump on and get close.
Dreamboat and J-Dog opened a gap and Skittles then had to try to make a move from the back to try to cover it.
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| Nike Boy arrives to press the flesh! |
The race was on!
As the mighty Shark Minions shot down the hill, riders went back and forth, keeping clean lines, as Skittles moved up, but could not quite catch on to Dreamboat, who took the win with Skittles on his wheel and J-Dog taking the last spot on the podium!
It was a victory for America!!!
The tofosi and paparazzi went wild as their hero's rode down the Champs le Galesburg to the press conference at the Koffee Klutch! People with baskets of cheese and wine flooded the streets as the riders zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors.
Sharkman threw down the first $20, instructing the barista to take it to $15 and keep a $5 tip, but it was all they needed as only 6 Minions stopped for their Bottomless.
Wait......what???
The Klutch was rocking when to everyones surprise.... in walked that legend of the peloton and occasional (very occasional) Minion, Nikeboy stopped in to press the flesh. He had tried to find the Nation at the Sparty Korner but the pace was so quick on the morning (19.55 mph) that he was too late and had to ride into the Klutch solo!
After large quantities of koffee were consumed, Sharkman, Yeti Boy and Nikeboy headed out for the Shark Cove after another fantastic Saturday morning!!!
It was a great day to be Sharkman and to have a Minion Nation!!!
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| Nike Boy showing why he is the "Style Guy!" |
You won't want to miss this weeks ride, which may be the last road ride of the year!
"Wait,....what?" you say!
The Nation has historically ridden into the first, and sometimes, second week into October before moving to the mountain bike. But this year, Sharkman is heading out to California for the first two weeks of October to celebrate his 70th birthday with his Sharklets.
That's right Bunkie, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, will be 70 on October 4.
Who can forget when the old Shark turned 60? Who can forget when the Nation celebrated, "Sharkman goes on Medicare" when he turned 65?
Well, here is your opportunity to celebrate hizzelf turning 70!!! Oh, the humanity!!! Man, where did those years go???
Since he will be gone, a determination on extending the road year will be discussed this Saturday or you can let Sharkman know by email.
In the interim and in celebration of our hero's 70th, this Saturday has been declared as Shark Minion Jersey Day!
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| Skittles enjoying his post ride lunch! |
We know, the Nation wore them two weeks ago and knowing the Nation, may not as yet have made the turn on their bike laundry by this Saturday. But pull it together, Bunkie, and get that jersey washed so you can wear it for the Sharkman's Birthday Ride!!! Hell, wear it dirty, just don't ride near the Sharkman if you do!!!
Due to the the early morning darkness, the ride will be delayed a half an hour to 8:30 a.m.!
Saturday, September 28, 2019
Sharkman's Birthday Ride - Shark Minion Jersey Day!!!
Launch Time - 8:30 a.m.!
There might be cake!!!
Be there!!!
THE MISSING REPORT ARRIVES!!!
..........LATE!!
Belo News
September 14, 2019
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| Wildman is in focus, but the start line is a bit fuzzy! Looks like Sharkman took it..... |
Shark Cove, Mi. - As the world of cycling is aware, Belo News did not post an edition last week. Apparently, ace reporter, Wildman simply forgot he was on deck to write it.
After the email went out explaining that nothing had been received, Wildman immediately sent an apology text with this very in depth report of the ride!
"Seven riders showed up. Four jumped on. A ride happened. Monster pulls by J-Dog and Falcon.
Koffee was consumed."
Wow! Where else can you get that type of in depth, riveting reporting?!?
At Belo News, that's where!!!
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| The Klutch rocked even without their intrepid hero, the Sharkman. |
Oh, the humanity!!!
Plus two photos! One out of focus and one with the light behind it!!! Fortunately, Belo News can edit....
Thanks Wildman (we think......)!
BARRY-ROUBAIX RIDE IN OCTOBER!
Belo News
September 25, 2019
Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - Gazelle Girl has a Barry-Roubaix Ride scheduled for a weekday in October that you won't want to miss. Here are the details from Gazelle Girl herzzelf!!
Weekday Barry Roubaix Ride with Nut Job!
Lansing resident with the British accent, Nut Job, is proposing a Barry Roubaix ride launching from The Walldorff parking lot on Wednesday, Oct 23 at 2 pm.
Rain date: Oct 30.
Let's enjoy some fall colors on the gravel roads of Barry County with refreshments after wards!
HOOSIER BOY AND THE MIGHTY MONK ROCK DANCES WITH DIRT!!!
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| Hoosier Boy and Mighty Monk with the Dirt Dogs! |
Belo News
September 21, 2019
Chelsea, Mi. - The Shark Minion Nations own Hoosier Boy and Mighty Monk rocked the Dances with Dirt competition this past Saturday at the Pickney Wildlife area this past week, finishing 13th across the line but moving up to 4th after the handicap, which is the best finish ever for the Dirt Dogs!
Sharkman was actually on the team the first five Dances with Dirt along with Dirt Dog Wes (far right) in the photo. As many of you know this is a 65 mile relay race through woods, mud, barbed wire, laced with hills, sand and muck.
Congratulations to our Shark Minions and their Dirt Dog Teammates! You did the mighty Shark Minion Nation proud!!!
Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.
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