THE
REAL OPENING DAY?
 |
| Sweetheart of the Peloton under investigation? |
DOUBLE
YELLOW LINE VIOLATION?!?
STRYKER
GUY ON DISABLED LIST?!?
DON'T
FORGET TO REGISTER FOR THE TOUR DE TAYLOR!
Belo
News
April
8, 2017
Shark
Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke cool and bright over the Shark Cove, our
intrepid hero, the Sharkman could hardly wait to bound out of his
Shark bed! As the world of cycling knows, the old Shark missed
Opening Day for the first time in his cycling career, which is a
pretty damn long time!
 |
| Reb goes the distance! |
The
Sharkman quickly clicked on the coffee, padded down to the Shark
basement to choose his wardrobe for the day, while checking the
outside temperature, which was at 30 degrees. Whew, a bit chilly....
When
he came up with his choice of kit, he looked again and the temp was
down to a chilling 28 degrees!
Wait,
what?
Back
down to the Shark basement to choose another layer. It was one of
those days where the old Shark was concerned he would be warm at the
start and sweating on the way home. But none the less, he was ready
to ride.
Maybe
not as ready as Yeti Boy, who showed up 10 minutes early, while Mad
Dog texted something about racoon sex waking up his dogs and he
couldn't wait and he'd meet everyone on the road. Ah, Saturday
mornings at the Shark Cove.
 |
| Yeti Boy deep in thought before start! |
The
Sharkman and Yeti Boy headed out about 5 minutes early with the
Sharkman telling Yeti to take it slow so they didn't build up a sweat
before getting to the start. At 28 degrees, there wasn't too much of
a chance of that, but Sharkman mentioned it anyway.
As
the riders hit Watkins Road, the light of Mad Dog's headlight could
be seen up the road, but Sharkman was worried they might miss Reb, who had
stated he might make the ride to the start.
Before
they got to Helmer, Reb came riding up and then they were four!
The
ride to the start was uneventful, as the small peloton discussed what
they did over the winter, while Sharkman shared how he had spent his
Opening Day the previous week despite the fact they had all read it in Belo News!
As
they arrived at the start, riders were already beginning to gather.
Paperboy
and the Great Dane were unloading their bikes as Brewman rode in.
Skittles, Dragonfly, Bissell Boy and finally Gazelle Girl rode in.
Eleven riders in all were ready to help Sharkman celebrate HIS
Opening Day!
 |
| Mad Dog administering pre- ride advise. |
Gazelle
Girl then gave a blistering, but effective commentary on Bike Safety,
which included stopping at Stop Signs, riding two abreast, getting
over to the right when anyone shouted out “cars back,” etc. Way to go
Gazelle Girl!
Sharkman
led the train out of the station and downtown. He asked Reb if he was
going to drop off, but he stated that he had decided to do the ride
as they went past the Klutch, waving at their adoring fans.
Skittles
and Gazelle Girl pulled Sharkman to his honorary sprint, that even
included him throwing his bike across the line to take the sprint as
a roar went up in the peloton.
Yes, the season was now officially underway! Is this a great country or what!?!
Being
Spring Season, there are no reports on sprints, but the ride was
spirited despite the fact it was at a B level pace.
At
the Northville Church, Sharkman and Yeti Boy went back for stragglers
and also slowed as Bissell Boy, who was heading north for the day, dropped off at
his house.
 |
| Bissell Boy was in attendance. |
As
the sun began to warm the course, the riders revelled in the early
Spring weather and the chatter level elevated as the riders hit the
Holy Rollers.
The
group stayed together through the inlet and after the Digital Divide,
Yeti Boy started out a very nice pace line as the group was able to
play nice, which is unusual this early in the season.
As
the fast moving train headed towards the GGG Spot Sprint, riders
started shouting out “where is she!”
Soon,
Gazelle Girl got the message and began to make her move to the goal!
However,
unbeknownst to her, Skittles, who was in the led, had a rear camera
on his bike and filmed the “Sweetheart of the Peloton,” as well
as Mad Dog, cross the double yellow lines as Gazelle Girl made her
“shot out of a cannon” move!
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, the humanity!
An
investigation was immediately launched into this egregious violation
and the Commissioner of Cycling is reviewing the tape. Subsequent
investigative efforts by Belo News resulted in getting a copy of the
tape. In this, “never before seen video” the evidence does seem
to be pretty clear. (where else can you get hard hitting, behind the
scenes, investigative cycling news?! Is this a great country or
what?!?).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuKlbDG6KAM&feature=youtu.be
The
Commissioner is looking at possible penalties, up to and including
purchasing koffee for the Sharkman!
Belo
News reports, YOU decide!
 |
| Skittles "selling it!" |
As
the peloton moved into the final sprint, Paperboy, Gazelle Girl and
Sharkman went to the front to pull the train. As the fast moving
nation moved towards the final ascent, Mad Dog came up and took the
lead. As he began to pull away, Skittles came up to cover any
breakaway, while Sharkman went up ahead to spell Gazelle Girl, who
had taken over for Paperboy.
After
a while, Yeti Boy came up to give Sharkman a spell, while Mad Dog,
Skittles and then Brewman opened up a lead.
The
Nation was split into small groups all over the finish as they moved
to the final tape.
Average
speed for the ride was only 17 mph (actually, 16.9), but not bad for early season and
waiting for some riders.
The
fans went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the Nation zipped up
their jersey's and rode past the tofosi, paparazzi and woman
throwing flowers, loaves of bread and bottles of wine to them!
Ah,
it was good to be back after a long winter.
As
they arrived at the Klutch, Andrew welcomed the Nation back as he had
missed Opening Day AND stated he was some how dropped, off the
distribution list for Belo News! Wait, what?!?
That will be fixed immediately!
That will be fixed immediately!
It
was a great to be back at the Klutch as the riders quaffed down their
Bottomless Kups of Koffee and talked about what a great ride they had
all been on.
Sharkman,
Mad Dog and Yeti Boy enjoyed a nice tail wind on the way home and all
was well in the Shark Realm once again!
You
won't want to miss this week's edition of the KK-TdG!
The
weather looks to be warmer, but there is a chance of rain, so if it
is raining, watch for information here at Belo News!
Since
it is warmer, Launch Time will be moved up!
Saturday,
April 15, 2017
Launch
Time – 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!
Be
there!
STRYKER
GUY CRASHES, PUT ON DISABLED LIST!!!
Belo
News
 |
| Stryker Guy and we hope he is on a Stryker Bed! |
April
9, 2017
Somewhere,
Ga. - Belo News regrets to report, that Legend of the Peloton, that
rider who rode across the entire United States last year, without
injury, crashed the past weekend as he descended a mountain somewhere
in Georgia.
As
Stryker Guy reported, he “felt the need to visit the hospitals in
our great country as a patient.”
Descending
down a technical, very steep switchback, he over cooked a turn and
was too low to hit the next switchback. He hit his disc brakes and
reported that “for the record, they do grab!” The back wheel
locked up and he baled into a small clearing. Though his
bike came out of the crash without a scratch (is this a great country
or what?!?) he did not.....(Oh, the humanity)!
Stryker Guy suffered a broken clavicle, six broken ribs and a small puncture in his lung.
WOW!
Stryker Guy suffered a broken clavicle, six broken ribs and a small puncture in his lung.
WOW!
The
Nation is in mourning, but will be with the legend in their thoughts
and prayers for a speedy recovery.
The
Nation will be holding a spot in the peloton for Stryker Guy and hope
he is back soon!
TOUR
DE TAYLOR IS SATURDAY, JUNE 10, 2017!
Belo
News
April
12, 2017
Mattawan,
Mi. - The date for the Tour de Taylor 2017 has been announced and
here is the information you will need to enter. This has been a great
annual event for the Nation and helps our Team Taylor Minions earn
even more dollars for their Make A Wish ride in July! So let's all
get entered to ride! Here are the details:
Hey
Tour de Taylor Riders!
Saturday,
June 10th.
As
always, we're working hard on creating an even better event this
year. With your feedback and support, we've been able improve on an
already great event. With your help, ALL
net
proceeds will be donated.
Below
are highlights and details.
- Free Lunch catered by Latitude 42
- Soft tee's with new design for 2017
- Beautiful routes with aid stations, including water, Gatorade, snacks and the best volunteers in the area
- Maple Hill Tent City
- Music
Details
Date:
Saturday June 10th, 2017
Location:
Mattawan
Middle School
56720
Murray St Mattawan, MI 49071
Soft
T-Shirts: Free
with registration.
You
must be registered by May 28th
to guarantee a Tour de Taylor 2017 Soft T-Shirt.
Please
refer to link for more event details and updated information.
|
Riders
joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with
bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any
rider involved.
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