Oh, what a day it was!

SHARKMAN NO LONGER A VIRGIN!

ONE MORE BEER, PLEASE!

ZYCKMANN, GAZELLE GIRL, LEAD THE NATION ON A HOT ONE!

The mighty Minion Nation ready to ride!

BISSELL KIT DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

August 15, 2015

Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman jumped from his Shark Bed and noticed he had his Bloody 'Ell 'Undred kit on! 

Oh, the humanity!

Nation gathered around Gazelle Girl's
Deviled Eggs!

Sharkman was so excited to ride his first ever, BEU, he had gone to bed with his kit on! Lava Girl didn't think it was cute, but Sharkman could hardly contain himself as he thought of losing his BEU virginity to the hills of western Barry County!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Sharkman quickly loaded his steed into the Sharkmobile and at the last second, remembered he had some cookies from Yeti Boy to

Sharkman brought Yeit Boy
Cookies!

take. Yeti Boy had left for a wedding in Germany on Tuesday and could not find a way to make his world famous “sticky buns” without them going stale by Saturday. 

So he baked cookies for the Nation!

Fully loaded, Sharkman headed out to the Zyckmann Estate on a bright, sunny day that promised to be a bit warm.

When the old Shark arrived, the festivities had already begun. Toesetter was at the bar serving up Bloody Mary's, Gazelle Girl was bringing out her famous deviled eggs, and Zyckmann was showing off his beautiful Eddy Merckx 

Toesetter and Zyckmann attending
the Bar!

Colnago Molteni Bike he has been working on for over two years! Completely equipped with original campy components, this bike is a real beauty and has to be seen to be believed.

The riders started pouring in, most with their Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jerseys on and looking good AND ready to ride!

Those not in BEU kit came dressed to ride as well. Buff was

Buff showing off his
white shorts!

sporting his Minion jersey along with some white bibs indicating he was completely secure in his manhood and unafraid of the “sweat phenomenon” with non black cycling shorts. 

Eric the Red came in his Iron Horse Jersey (guess the Nation needs to have an Iron Horse Jersey Day!) and CycoCross was wearing a green/red jersey close to the BEU kit colors! Is this a great country or what!?!

The Nation pledging alliegence to the Sharkman!

Riders in attendance, in addition to Zyckmann, Gazelle Girl, Toesetter and Sharkman were B-Rod, Ranger Rick, Buff, Wildman, Stryker Guy, Eric the Red, Chico, Sasquatch, Great Dane, CycoCross, Dr. Dave, and Easty!

After “appropriate amounts” of Bloody Mary's, deviled eggs, and Yeti Boy cookies the Nation was ready to rock!

But not yet, Bunkie!

The Nation taking the "No Dick Banging" pledge.......

Gazelle Girl had decided to insure a mellow ride this year and required that all riders taking part in the festivities had to take a “No Dick Banging” pledge before they could ride!

With their left hands lifted high, and their right hands firmly placed over their...well you know (see photo), the Nation babbled their pledge to be good and not turn the ride into a testosterone infused race to the beer.

Zyckmann, one of the hosts.

After some grumbling and whining, the Nation was now ready to roll and roll they did.

The ride is designed so that 42 of the 62 miles are ridden before lunch at the Waldorf, where the beer will begin to flow. It is also designed so that the worst hills are conquered before lunch as well.

The Nation, true to their pledge, rode as a fast moving train, but stayed together.

Ranger Rick had to drop off just southwest of Gun Lake as he had a wedding to attend, reminding B-Rod of his having to leave after lunch at the Waldorf the previous year and having so much beer

Gazelle Girl, the hostess.

when his wife picked him up, he slept through the wedding service! He went on to comment, “it was the best wedding service I ever attended.”

On the northwest side of Gun Lake, Gazelle Girl called ahead to the Waldorf for the pizza to be ready at 12:15 p.m. Those who rode last year remembered how slow the ordering of the food was the previous year and the idea to order pizza ahead was simply genius!

Zyckmann's Molteni Colnago!
What a beauty!

After Gun Lake and the State Park, the hills started and it was the first time the Nation broke apart. However, they all came back together at Chief Noonday Road to ride into Hastings.

Sharkman immediately began asking if there would be a parade for them as they rode into Hastings. He imagined beautiful woman running up to them with wine, cheese and flowers, handing babies to them to kiss, as they rolled into the quiet burg. Imagine his disappointment as they passed a couple of dog walkers and a lady in a wheel chair who did look up as they passed. Yet Sharkman couldn't stop waving to the fans! 

Which way?

He'd made the first part of the ride!

The longest, hilliest part! 

Right? Oh, the humanity!

The beer and pizza started coming the minute the Nation sat down and it just kept coming! Cobain double IPA, Stout and Wheat Beers by the pitcher along with Barbecue Chicken, ham and pineapple, artichoke pizza's, you name it, the Nation ate it! 

Follow the BEU Jersey's!

They came, they drank, they conquered! Is this a great country or what?!?

But that ain't all!

Chico decided to buy the beer! Quickly taking a commanding lead for Minion of the Year!

But wait! There's more!

B-Rod threw $50 in the pot for the pizza's giving him a chance at runner up Minion of the Year!

Actually, after this ride Belo News think Gazelle Girl and Zyckmann have the inside shot at those two titles!

B-Rod digs deep for that $50!

Is is a great country!

After the feeding frenzy that took place, Sharkman went to use the restroom and wasn't sure if it was the beer or the cleats on his shoes that caused him to slip and slide down the stairs to the basement to use the restroom, but had to admit the beer had some effect.

As the Nation gathered outside the Waldorf, Sharkman could feel the beer and pizza turning to cement in his legs and had forgotten how difficult it can be to get back on a bike after a feeding frenzy that included copious amounts of his favorite adult beverage, beer.

The beer was flowing and Chico
bought it!

With all the Nation's legs feeling like cement and the heat pushing 90 degrees, the train began to head south towards home.

Toesetter waiting for another beer!

Though the second half of the ride was billed as being only 20 miles and “rolling,” Sharkman felt it was more like 50 miles and “mountainous” as he plowed on, turning his cement legs over. Having the Nation around him, and all the chatter that ensued made the ride that much easier and though “hilly” they headed into Hickory Corners in a jovial mood as the heat and humidity

It was a "feeding frenzy" at Stryker
Guy's end of the table!

continued to climb.

Styker Guy cut off in Hickory Corners to head home and some of the riders, ie. Chico, Cycocross and B-Rod, started to "smell the barn" and picked up the pace back to the Zyckmann Estate.

To cheers of thousands (OK, maybe it was just Chico, Cycocross and B-Rod) the Nation returned to the Zychmann Estate, where they quickly stripped down to their cycling shorts, jumped in the lake, and took part in the barrel of beer provided by Zyckmann.

The bikes were ready!

Sharkman quickly got into his famous Sharkman Kilt, which was a huge hit with the fans!

Looking like a bunch of farmers who's chests hadn't seen the sun in years, the Nation played in the water like a bunch of school kids. Of course, the beer might have had something to do with that.

After the swim, and after some of the Nation had to leave, Zyckman gave boat rides in his vintage wood boat! Oh, the

Waiting for Gazelle Girl to settle
the bill, with concrete legs!

humanity! This guy knows how to party!

Sharkman was pleased to finally lose his BEU virginity on the hills of Barry County!

It was a great day and a big thanks to Zyckmann and Gazelle Girl for putting on this annual extravaganza!

Also thanks to Chico and B-Rod! Not only for the beer and food donation, but for keeping the pace strong but steady!

It was a victory for America!

This Saturday, back to the KK-TdG!

The pizza just kept coming!

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Bissell Kit Day! Wear your Bissell Kit and show you colors!

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

The Waldorf!

Toesetter with his Laurel Wreath
for finishing!

The jump in the lake by a bunch of guys
who looked like they needed some sun!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.