RAIN DOESN'T DAMPEN SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!

NEUTRAL ZONE FOR THE FINISH YOU SAY?

KLUTCH OPEN FOR NATION!

BEER JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

August 29, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - When the first text came to the Cove, Sharkman should have suspected something was amiss!

Normally our intrepid hero is quick to check the radar and weather conditions before even getting dressed, but he had checked the Weather Bug the night before and it had reported that there would be no rain until around noon! Sharkman thought, “Noon? I will be back in plenty of time!” and went on about getting ready to ride.

He did think it strange that there was no activity at the Rainman's house as he knew he was around. As the Nation knows, Rainman doesn't ride in the rain or even if there is the slightest chance of rain in the 7 day forecast. Yet, it wasn't registering with our hero.

Kid Gallagher makes his
season debut! On the
last August ride!

Just as Sharkman was ready to launch, he took one last look at hi phone and notice a text from Wildman that had come in at 6:37 a.m. that he had missed. It simply said, “Are you riding over this morning?” to which Sharkman responded, “Yes!”

Mmmmm....interesting. Maybe Wildman was planning to ride out and meet his hero as he has done in the past.

Mad Dog arrived and said it was too dark to ride earlier, so the two riders took off and as they left the Cove, Mad Dog mentioned, “we are going to get wet....”

Wait, what? Sharkman hadn't even checked the radar. Mad Dog said he had and it was looking like the Nation was going to get very wet.

Sharkman started wondering, “where has my head been?” Didn't bring a rain jacket, wasn't wearing his older shoes, etc.

Squeaky returns after a 4 week hiatus!

Oh, well, maybe the rain would 'skid over” the Nation, he thought.

Reb rode up and the three riders headed out on the dry roads to the start.

All three were pleased to see that the Klutch was open and the Early Morning crew were on hand to wave at the three as they rode by.

The Nation was gathering at the start and all talking about the impending rain. Wait, what?

Sharkman checked the radar and it was looking like green slime rolling towards the Field of Dreams he knows as the KK-TdG.

But it wasn't raining yet!

Gazelle Girl arrives to cheers and in time
for the Minion Jersey photo!

B-Rod and Brewman were already there and Iceman had just pulled in, with his road bike on the back of his pick up and his mountain bike in the bed. Sharkman loved his optimism (or had he just not checked the radar like Sharkman?).

Iceman was immediately followed by Kia Pet and Chains, the Bounty Hunter who had ridden over from the Soccer Zone.

Squeaky also made his return to the Nation and was pleased his brother finally made Belo News.

Skittles was also back in the mix after a short hiatus of racing with a Tu Tu at Cannonsburg. Skittles was quoted as saying, “you can't win in a Tu Tu if you don't race in a Tu Tu.” You'll have to ask him about it......

The Nation gathering before the rains.....

Much to the old Shark's surprise, Kid Gallagher made his season debut on his new Trek, accompanied by Oxito. The first thing the Kid said was, “we're going to get wet!” Welcome back, Kid!

The Kid also stated his neighbor, the legendary Zyckmann, was driving down due to the threat of rain, however, the Nation never saw him....

Just as the Nation was lining up for a photo, the Sweetheart of the Peloton rode in donned in her Shark Minion Jersey to shouts of “Gazelle Girl!”

To the sound of clicking pedals, the Nation saddled up and headed out.

The Nation at the first G crossing,
just as the rain began.....

As they passed the Klutch and waved to the Early Morning Crew, the first drops of rain could be felt.

As the Nation headed north, Sharkman was disappointed that Toast wasn't around to take the first sprint.

Skittles, B-Rod, Mad Dog and Gazelle Girl were all up front to pull the Sharkman before Skittles and B-Rod closed the deal and Sharkman took the sprint at full speed, having the memory of Toast surprising him at the line fresh in his Shark memory.

Sharkman took a count of 17 riders as the Nation crossed G ave. and felt the rain starting to build.

As the Nation started up the col de Twin Lakes, a steady drizzle began to fall, but it did not deter the Nation. Though wet, the air was warm and other than the rooster tails being thrown up in riders faces, it was actually somewhat pleasant to feel the summer rain fall gently on the dorsal!

The Nation picked up speed as they traversed Kellogg Korner, the Kountry Klub and on to the Rt. 43 sprint where the Nation came apart for a short time but back together at the Stop Sign.

By now the rain was really coming down and one of the Minions commented that the Nation looked like a bunch of dogs riding in cars on the highway. As the tires threw up their rooster tails, the Nation had their necks craned like a dog out the window to avoid the water coming off the draft wheel ahead of them.

The Nation motored through the col de Norte and on through the Holy Rollers where ironically, Sharkman started to feel the sunscreen he had put on, burning into his eyes.

B-Rod wasn't sharing his cherry pie
with the wet Nation as they drank
their koffee....

By the time he got to Frona's he had to pull over and wash his eyes out with his water bottle. However, much to his dismay, any solution he tried was only temporary and he could be heard whining about it to any Minion who would listen to him!

As the Nation lined up after the Digital Divide, a semi well constructed pace line developed with the Nation still craning their necks to avoid the even larger plumes of water coming up from the smooth pavement in this section.

For THE SECOND WEEK IN A ROW (Editors Note: last week the Editors mistakenly credited Mad Dog with doing the lead out for Gazelle Girl, when it was in fact, Ironman. It should be noted that Mad Dog did not point this our, nor even bring it up until Sharkman did on the ride over. We humbly apologize to Ironman for this oversight....) Ironman came forward with Gazelle Girl on his wheel and motored to the front where she, for the SECOND WEEK IN A ROW (actually, it might be the third and/or fourth) sealed the deal and beat out Ironman at the line.

Sharkman declared a “Neutral Zone” for the finish for the first time Minion history. With all the rain, and the slick roads, the old Shark was even more worried about crashing and the Nation seemed fine with the decision.

None the less, Sharkman went to the front to try to lead out the group, but it was short lived as Kia Pet threw himself on his sword and broke loose from the peloton.

The Nation wasn't biting and either they thought they would be able to catch him or that he wouldn't hold it. But as he stayed out there a counter attack finally formed with Mad Dog, Skittles, Chains among others, formed up to chase him down.

At the top of the final climb it seemed as though the Nation was back together with a few riders out front like the Team Taylor guys, Mad Dog, Ironman and Skittles.

Since it was a neutral zone finish, Belo News will not name the winner, but the crew seemed to say that it should go to Skittles because he maintained a steady pace and held his line as others were trying to gain the front.

Great job Skittles!

The riders began their ride down the most storied avenue in cycling, the Champs le Galesburg, by zipping up their Minion Jerseys and waving to the throngs of one or two tofosi who had come out in the rain to cheer them on.

The Nation was pleased to find the Klutch open and Andrew ready with hot koffee for the wet Nation.

Only 7 hardy riders stayed for the Press Conference and Koffee, preferring to not stop and get cold before their rides home. Gazelle Girl offered to get her truck and take Mad Dog, Reb and Sharkman back but they respectfully declined and headed back in the rain. And rain it did!

Brewmans nifty solution to
get home in the rain!

Brewman reported that he had a flat tire on the way home and had to change the tube. When he attached the tube, it filled with air but when he unscrewed it the valve core would come out and he'd lose the air. He stated he did it three time and after it didn't work he said screw it! In a move of complete genius, he detached the hose from the pump and tied it to a spoke with a few blades of grass! It got him home! As Brewman stated, “All this fun in the rain!” This is they guy the Nation would call if their Kegger wasn't flowing! What a genius!

Sharkman will be gone over the Labor Day Weekend but the Nation will ride!

America works hard, and to recognize that hard work, they have a special Labor Day Holiday! And what do Americans do when they have a three day holiday! And what to do they do on those three days? Drink Beer!

So in recognition of Labor Day, this Saturday is, you guessed it!

Beer Jersey Day!

Break out your favorite Beer Jersey and come out and ride!

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

IN OTHER NEWS!

Nikeboy riding in Washington!

Belo News

August 24, 2015

Nikeboy looking good in Washington!

San Juan Islands, WA. - Nikeboy reported in last week that he and Nikegirl were enjoying the San Juan Islands in Washington State, doing a Trek Tour! The “Other Style Guy” reported he was enjoying his “secret training camp” and that the riding was “amazing!” Climbing about 2500-4000 feet per day in 30 to 40 miles with great weather! What a life!

Enjoy, Nikeboy!

Catfish and Dreamboat out west!

Belo News

Catfish and Dreamboat at the
top of Mt. Whitney!

August 28, 2015

Mt. Whitney, CA. - Located on the east side of California's beautiful Sierra Nevada Mountains, Mt. Whitney is one of those great places along the famous John Muir Trail and none other than Dreamboat and Catfish reported in this week that they were into day 8 of hiking out there and provided this photo of them on at the summit!

Enjoy Catfish and Dreamboat!

Ox on the Disabled List!

Belo News

August 29, 2015

Gull Lake, Mi. - It was learned this week that legendary Minion rider, Ox, has been diagnosed with bladder cancer. He is presently undergoing chemo treatment in preparation for an operation to remove his bladder later this year. He will then have a new bladder reconstructed from some of his small intestines. He reports it might be a bumpy ride, but his plans on being back in the Nation next season!

The Minion Nation wants Ox to know that he is in their thoughts and prayers and that the Nation will hold a spot in the peloton for this great rider!

See you next summer, Ox, if not sooner!

Reb, Gazelle Girl, Great Dane, Sharkman and Yeti Boy
rocking at the Old Dog Tavern!

Minions Rock Old Dog!

Belo News
August 31, 2015

Kalamazoo, Mi. - Minions were rocking at the Old Dog Tavern in Kalamazoo for the GLAMA monthly jam on Monday night! 

Sharkman and the Great Dane played several songs along with the Great Lakes Acoustic Music Association crew at Old Dog, while Yeti Boy and Yeti Girl, Gazelle Girl and Reb watched and sang along!  The Minion Nation not only rocks on the roads, but they rock at the Old Dog tavern on the last Monday night of each month!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

KILT KONTROVERSY!

Sharkman in his kontroversial kilt!
Man, that guy has great legs!

KONTROVERSY EVERYWHERE!

KLUTCH KLOSED? OH, THE HUMANITY!

NICKHEAD RETURNS TO TAKE THE TAPE!

SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

August 21, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke bright and cool over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman padding from his shark bed excited that the Nation would be returning to his beloved “Field of Dreams” also known as the KK-TdG.

Bissell Kit Day in the Nation!

Little did he know that there was kontroversy coming his way as he began his morning by donning his Bissell Team Kit. Yes, it was Bissell Kit Day and Sharkman likes nothing better than to look like one of his hero's, Bissell Boy!

As the garage door opened, he noticed Rainman getting ready. Mad Dog had already reported that he would meet Sharkman “on the road,” so off the pair went.

The pair checked at Helmer Road to see if Reb was coming, but since they had launched a couple of minutes late, and he was no where to be seen, they moved on.

Shortly after crossing Helmer, Mad Dog rode up from behind reporting that he could not get his dogs back into the house after letting them out, causing him to be late. Hey, a dog has to do what a dog has to do, right?

The Nation getting ready to launch!

It was a beautiful morning, more reminiscent of a fall morning than an August morning, as the riders were wearing arm warmers and Rainman actually had a jacket on.

As the riders went past the Klutch, it looked like it was closed but it was hard to tell.....

As they approached the start, the Nation was already starting to gather, many decked out in their finest Bissell Kit!

Brewman was back after a weekend up north and was wearing one of his traditional Brew Jersey's along with a pair of Bissell bib shorts!

Toast gasping for air after stealing
Sharkmans sprint while Easty looks on!

Iceman pulled in, in his truck with both his road and mountain bike, followed shortly by other Team Taylor riders who had ridden over, all in their Bissell Kit! Iceman, Chains the Bounty Hunter, Nickhead and Kia Pet were all in attendance and dressed for the day! Apparently the Team Taylor guys read Belo News!

Easty, Zyckmann and Brewman (who qualified because of his bib shorts) all posed for the paparazzi as others rode in.

B-Rod was there, along with Toast, Hoosier Boy, and Sasquatch as Easty reported that Gazelle Sports was sponsoring a training run around Gull Lake and that the Nation need to watch for runners, and Zyckman was offering free Thule rack parts! Oh, the humanity.

As the Nation headed towards the Klutch, the Sweetheart of the Peloton approached and was greeted with shouts of “Gazelle Girl” from her adoring Nation! Of course, she was not only decked out in Bissell Kit, but was wearing one red and one blue pigtail ribbon in each pigtail!

Bissell Kit everywhere!

Does this lady know how to style or what!?!

As the Nation went past the Klutch, they all noticed that it was klosed and theorized that Andrew over slept but would certainly be there by the time they returned.

As the Nation headed north, B-Rod took his usual position at the front, getting ready to lead out his hero and get his name in Belo News.

Things were going according to plan as Sharkman thanked his lead out man, B-Rod and took up the speed to take the sprint.

As he approached the stop ahead sign, he checked his mirror and didn't see anyone and let up for the briefest of moments.

Skipper at Andrea's in his
Bissell Kit! Don't know
what Hoosier Boy was doing?

It was then that the first kontroversey occurred. From his left, Sharkman saw Toast, streaking to take the first, and honorary sprint from Sharkman!

Wait,...what?

That's right, Bunkie! Toast took the sprint from a surprised Sharkman! Oh, the humanity! Sharkman loves old Toast! Would he be forced to declare Toast “Persona non Grata?” Oh, the humanity!

In an extremely kontroverisal decision, the Sharkman decided to declare he was not honoring the sprint by not going all out and had to award it to Toast! Additionally, he has now declared it be Toasts sprint and he will now be condemned to have to take it every week like Sharkman has had to do for a number of years!

Is this a great country or what!?!

Free from that sprint! YES!

Gazelle Girl in her Bissell kit,
and catch those pigtails!

At the G Ave. stop, Sharkman took a count that totaled 17 riders, however, John (name to be determined) jumped on somewhere along the route and the Skipper also jumped on at the Yorkville Church taking the count up to 19 on the day.

The Nation stayed together through the Col de Twin Lakes, though a small group accelerated at the top of the hill for a break away.

As mentioned, the Skipper, decked out in his Bissell Kit finery, jumped on at the Yorkville Church and the Team Taylor guys went to the front to take up the speed, and take it up they did!

At the press conference after the ride, Sharkman was quoted as stating “that may have been the fastest Kountry Klub section, EVER!”

Sharkman grabbed on for his life and picked the wrong wheel as a gap opened in front of the rider he was behind and after he went around, he could not catch a wheel to save his dorsal from the pain of fighting to catch up!

The Nation at Andrea's with Gina, Dutch's daughter!
Not sure what Zyckman was going......?

He was so far behind, that he was not even aware of who won the sprint and additionally, Gazelle Girl got all over Rainman when she claimed that the group did not sit up at the turn after the Kountry Klub, as is tradition, but alas, Rainman stated they did! Oh, the humanity!

In the Kountry Klub section, the Nation started to encounter the Gazelle Sports Running Club and there were a lot of them. As the Nation summit-ted the col de Norte, Sharkman grew horse yelling at B-Rod to get out of the middle of the road, as a car was approaching. B-Rod claimed he couldn't hear the diminutive hero, but Hoosier Boy was also shouting and it was believed that B-Rod was employing selective listening......

As the Nation made it's way through the Holy Rollers they continued to confront Gazelle Sports runners, shouting hello and waving at the fans! This also caused the Nation to slow down to a more comfortable pace as they approached Frona's, now known as Queens Cupboard.

The road heading into the Inlet had been recently chip and sealed, again slowing the Nation down before the Digital Divide, where the County is going to have to put a light in soon as it is getting extremely difficult to make a safe crossing!

To everyones surprise, a pretty sweet pace line developed in the run up to the GGG Spot Sprint. It was particularly sweet as it seemed to be rotating in the opposite direction that the Minion usually rides in! 

Oh, the humanity!

As the Nation bore down on the GGG Spot Sprint, Mad Dog came forward with the Sweetheart on his wheel! A cheer went up as the Nation tried to catch on but true to her desires, Gazelle Girl inched out Mad Dog to take the sprint by less than half a wheel!

After Sharkman shouted out his usual admonishment's about safety, he went to the front as the Nation bore down to the finish. Without a Hossman or Tow Truck, our hero threw himself on his sword and took up the speed with a cast of thousands on his wheel.

After the first hill, Toast came up to take the pull, still feeling the glow of win on the first, Sharkman sprint!

Shortly after, Mad Dog came forward to try to take up the pace with everyone holding on as the fast moving semi sped up the final ascent!

At the top of the final climb, Sharkman stated he could feel the peloton coming on like a wild wind off Lake Michigan!

The Team Taylor guys came forward, along with Rainman, B-Rod, Brewman and others as they bore down on the finish line!

It was neck and neck right down to the finish where Nickhead took the tape with a close win over Rainman, with B-Rod, complaining of cramps, right on his wheel!

As the riders got ready to ride down the Champs le Galesburg, they zipped up their jersey's and were glad to be back on one of the most famous roads in cycling! Yes, the Champs le Galesburg where legends are made and seen by the tofosi! The crowds were huge as the hero's rode down this legendary road to the Klutch!

That is when the second kontroversy took place!

Sharkman had already leaned his bike against the front window of the Klutch and was hurrying to get in line before the foo foo koffee drinkers got there to slow things down, when he pulled on the door and it wouldn't open.

Wait, ….what?

The Klutch was Klosed! Oh, the humanity!

Shock went through the Nation. Pre koffee jitters started to hit the Nation and there was crying and gnashing of teeth! No Koffee?!? Oh, triple the humanity!

Minions pounding on the doors crying out, "Why? Why?......"

The Nation took it across the street to Andrea's and much to their surprise, the waitress was none other than the daughter of a fellow Minion who hasn't been seen in the Nation for some time!

Gina, daughter of Dutch, was on duty and started bringing out the hot pitchers of coffee for a waiting Nation as they mobbed the restaurant!

Gina was great, continuing to keep the Nation's coffee cups full and even posed for the photo for the blog!

The Nation slogged down coffee like they had just crossed the sands of a foriegn desert.

And then the final two kontroversy's took place.

Everyone wanted to know where the photo of Sharkman in his Kilt was?

Wait, ….what?

Apparently, everyone had read the blog last week and wanted to see the photo and Sharkman was in shock that he had forgotten to include it after billing it as being in the blog! Wait, maybe it was a test to see who is reading Belo News! Yep, that's it! It was a test and the Nation passed!

Then, the next kontroversy! The, what has now become famous, photo of the Shark sipping beer from the kegger.....

Though this was originally a photo of Zyckmann drinking directly

It's beer from a kegger!

from the kegger, he requested it not be published becasue, as he says, “I have a reputation to maintain...” (yeah, right...) has become VERY kontroversial! Apparently some of the Nation was not sure what that could be that the Shark was “sucking” on. Theories abounded but no one seemed to see that it was a kegger.

So, the answer to “What is the Shark sucking on?” is a kegger! Geesh.....

Oh, and what was the final kontroversy you ask?

Earlier in the week, Sharkman was called out for his write up in Belo News about the breakaway group at the BEU. It was in fact BUFF who was in the breakaway at the end of the ride and not B-Rod!

However, Belo News would like to take this opportunity to remind the Nation that any semblance to the truth in Belo News is purely coincidental and subject to the Editors biases and memory, which are both highly suspect. Additionally, if our Editor isn't near the finish, Belo News might not get the finish order correct and would probably forget it anyway, even if we did see it.

After all, last weeks edition was number 300 and it is lucky that the Editors get anything right anymore!

But where else can you get this type of in-depth journalism, hard hitting news with each issue packed with suspense and kontrovery? That's right, Bunkie, NO WHERE!

On to next week, which will be, by popular demand,

SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!

Launch time – 8:00 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

And finally, for those of you who missed riding with Squeaky's brother (yes Squeaky has a brother! Who knew?) Belo News was finally able to get B-Rod to send the to the News Desk.  Here it is!

Now we just need Squeaky back in the Nation!

Squeaky and his brother!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

Oh, what a day it was!

SHARKMAN NO LONGER A VIRGIN!

ONE MORE BEER, PLEASE!

ZYCKMANN, GAZELLE GIRL, LEAD THE NATION ON A HOT ONE!

The mighty Minion Nation ready to ride!

BISSELL KIT DAY THIS SATURDAY!

Belo News

August 15, 2015

Zyckmann Estate, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman jumped from his Shark Bed and noticed he had his Bloody 'Ell 'Undred kit on! 

Oh, the humanity!

Nation gathered around Gazelle Girl's
Deviled Eggs!

Sharkman was so excited to ride his first ever, BEU, he had gone to bed with his kit on! Lava Girl didn't think it was cute, but Sharkman could hardly contain himself as he thought of losing his BEU virginity to the hills of western Barry County!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Sharkman quickly loaded his steed into the Sharkmobile and at the last second, remembered he had some cookies from Yeti Boy to

Sharkman brought Yeit Boy
Cookies!

take. Yeti Boy had left for a wedding in Germany on Tuesday and could not find a way to make his world famous “sticky buns” without them going stale by Saturday. 

So he baked cookies for the Nation!

Fully loaded, Sharkman headed out to the Zyckmann Estate on a bright, sunny day that promised to be a bit warm.

When the old Shark arrived, the festivities had already begun. Toesetter was at the bar serving up Bloody Mary's, Gazelle Girl was bringing out her famous deviled eggs, and Zyckmann was showing off his beautiful Eddy Merckx 

Toesetter and Zyckmann attending
the Bar!

Colnago Molteni Bike he has been working on for over two years! Completely equipped with original campy components, this bike is a real beauty and has to be seen to be believed.

The riders started pouring in, most with their Bloody 'Ell 'Undred jerseys on and looking good AND ready to ride!

Those not in BEU kit came dressed to ride as well. Buff was

Buff showing off his
white shorts!

sporting his Minion jersey along with some white bibs indicating he was completely secure in his manhood and unafraid of the “sweat phenomenon” with non black cycling shorts. 

Eric the Red came in his Iron Horse Jersey (guess the Nation needs to have an Iron Horse Jersey Day!) and CycoCross was wearing a green/red jersey close to the BEU kit colors! Is this a great country or what!?!

The Nation pledging alliegence to the Sharkman!

Riders in attendance, in addition to Zyckmann, Gazelle Girl, Toesetter and Sharkman were B-Rod, Ranger Rick, Buff, Wildman, Stryker Guy, Eric the Red, Chico, Sasquatch, Great Dane, CycoCross, Dr. Dave, and Easty!

After “appropriate amounts” of Bloody Mary's, deviled eggs, and Yeti Boy cookies the Nation was ready to rock!

But not yet, Bunkie!

The Nation taking the "No Dick Banging" pledge.......

Gazelle Girl had decided to insure a mellow ride this year and required that all riders taking part in the festivities had to take a “No Dick Banging” pledge before they could ride!

With their left hands lifted high, and their right hands firmly placed over their...well you know (see photo), the Nation babbled their pledge to be good and not turn the ride into a testosterone infused race to the beer.

Zyckmann, one of the hosts.

After some grumbling and whining, the Nation was now ready to roll and roll they did.

The ride is designed so that 42 of the 62 miles are ridden before lunch at the Waldorf, where the beer will begin to flow. It is also designed so that the worst hills are conquered before lunch as well.

The Nation, true to their pledge, rode as a fast moving train, but stayed together.

Ranger Rick had to drop off just southwest of Gun Lake as he had a wedding to attend, reminding B-Rod of his having to leave after lunch at the Waldorf the previous year and having so much beer

Gazelle Girl, the hostess.

when his wife picked him up, he slept through the wedding service! He went on to comment, “it was the best wedding service I ever attended.”

On the northwest side of Gun Lake, Gazelle Girl called ahead to the Waldorf for the pizza to be ready at 12:15 p.m. Those who rode last year remembered how slow the ordering of the food was the previous year and the idea to order pizza ahead was simply genius!

Zyckmann's Molteni Colnago!
What a beauty!

After Gun Lake and the State Park, the hills started and it was the first time the Nation broke apart. However, they all came back together at Chief Noonday Road to ride into Hastings.

Sharkman immediately began asking if there would be a parade for them as they rode into Hastings. He imagined beautiful woman running up to them with wine, cheese and flowers, handing babies to them to kiss, as they rolled into the quiet burg. Imagine his disappointment as they passed a couple of dog walkers and a lady in a wheel chair who did look up as they passed. Yet Sharkman couldn't stop waving to the fans! 

Which way?

He'd made the first part of the ride!

The longest, hilliest part! 

Right? Oh, the humanity!

The beer and pizza started coming the minute the Nation sat down and it just kept coming! Cobain double IPA, Stout and Wheat Beers by the pitcher along with Barbecue Chicken, ham and pineapple, artichoke pizza's, you name it, the Nation ate it! 

Follow the BEU Jersey's!

They came, they drank, they conquered! Is this a great country or what?!?

But that ain't all!

Chico decided to buy the beer! Quickly taking a commanding lead for Minion of the Year!

But wait! There's more!

B-Rod threw $50 in the pot for the pizza's giving him a chance at runner up Minion of the Year!

Actually, after this ride Belo News think Gazelle Girl and Zyckmann have the inside shot at those two titles!

B-Rod digs deep for that $50!

Is is a great country!

After the feeding frenzy that took place, Sharkman went to use the restroom and wasn't sure if it was the beer or the cleats on his shoes that caused him to slip and slide down the stairs to the basement to use the restroom, but had to admit the beer had some effect.

As the Nation gathered outside the Waldorf, Sharkman could feel the beer and pizza turning to cement in his legs and had forgotten how difficult it can be to get back on a bike after a feeding frenzy that included copious amounts of his favorite adult beverage, beer.

The beer was flowing and Chico
bought it!

With all the Nation's legs feeling like cement and the heat pushing 90 degrees, the train began to head south towards home.

Toesetter waiting for another beer!

Though the second half of the ride was billed as being only 20 miles and “rolling,” Sharkman felt it was more like 50 miles and “mountainous” as he plowed on, turning his cement legs over. Having the Nation around him, and all the chatter that ensued made the ride that much easier and though “hilly” they headed into Hickory Corners in a jovial mood as the heat and humidity

It was a "feeding frenzy" at Stryker
Guy's end of the table!

continued to climb.

Styker Guy cut off in Hickory Corners to head home and some of the riders, ie. Chico, Cycocross and B-Rod, started to "smell the barn" and picked up the pace back to the Zyckmann Estate.

To cheers of thousands (OK, maybe it was just Chico, Cycocross and B-Rod) the Nation returned to the Zychmann Estate, where they quickly stripped down to their cycling shorts, jumped in the lake, and took part in the barrel of beer provided by Zyckmann.

The bikes were ready!

Sharkman quickly got into his famous Sharkman Kilt, which was a huge hit with the fans!

Looking like a bunch of farmers who's chests hadn't seen the sun in years, the Nation played in the water like a bunch of school kids. Of course, the beer might have had something to do with that.

After the swim, and after some of the Nation had to leave, Zyckman gave boat rides in his vintage wood boat! Oh, the

Waiting for Gazelle Girl to settle
the bill, with concrete legs!

humanity! This guy knows how to party!

Sharkman was pleased to finally lose his BEU virginity on the hills of Barry County!

It was a great day and a big thanks to Zyckmann and Gazelle Girl for putting on this annual extravaganza!

Also thanks to Chico and B-Rod! Not only for the beer and food donation, but for keeping the pace strong but steady!

It was a victory for America!

This Saturday, back to the KK-TdG!

The pizza just kept coming!

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Bissell Kit Day! Wear your Bissell Kit and show you colors!

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

The Waldorf!

Toesetter with his Laurel Wreath
for finishing!

The jump in the lake by a bunch of guys
who looked like they needed some sun!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.