WAIT, SHARKMAN IN ATTENDANCE?

The original "Hipster," Sharkman
photo courtesy of Reb

DRAMA AT THE GGG SPOT SPRINT?!?

TONY THE TIGER JERSEY DAY!

SHERMANATOR SATURDAY MEANS SOUTHERN ROUTE TOUR!

THE BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED COMING UP QUICKLY! GET YOUR RSVP IN NOW!

Belo News

July 25, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - As Friday afternoon floated around, our intrepid hero found himself sitting on the back porch of Bread Baking's International Epicenter, Yeti Boy's house, having a beer with his

Reb, Sharkman and Airman
at the start!

wingman, Yeti Boy. Reb was also in attendance and when Sharkman shared that he hated missing the ride due to his required attendance for a church function, both Reb and Yeti Boy recommended that the three ride over to the start and back! Great idea! Sharkman could get a ride in, see his Nation AND still make the 10:00 a.m. event! Is this a great country or what?!?

After a few more beers, and a photo-op by his adoring fan (that would be Reb), our hero texted Rainman and Mad Dog to let them know he was riding over. Mad Dog stated that he had arranged to leave really early and meet Airman on the road, while Rainman said he was out.

Whoa, B-Rod in his WAM kit?

As dawn broke bright and warm over the Shark Cove, we found our hero bustling along to get ready, as Yeti Boy is usually a bit early. Sure enough, at 6:56 a.m., Yeti Boy rode up the driveway at the Cove and the two riders were off to meet Reb on the way.

It was a beautiful summer morning and, for the first time in a while, no jacket or arm warmers were needed.

After the three riders arrived at the start, other Minions started piling in along with some new minions to the Nation. Two riders who had heard about the ride from legendary Minion, CycoCross,

Virgin Minion "The Italian!"

were The Italian and Caboose! The Nation loves when they come with their own cycling names! Welcome to the Mighty Minion Nation!

Another rider who claimed to have ridden with the Nation last year after he had broken his collarbone, was John, Name to be Determined! Welcome back, Name to be Determined!

Shortly after Sharkman arrived, Nikeboy appeared looking “stylish” in his kit once again, stating he had gotten to the Cove just short of launch time and had ridden over solo!

Sorry Nikeboy!

Nikeboy "styling" at the start!

Other riders piling in on WAM Jersey Day were Toast, B-Rod (looking wild in his knee socks and WAM kit), Airman, Mad Dog (who completely missed Airman on the road), Zychmann, Gazelle Girl, Ironman, Sasquatch and more. The count was 20 as the Nation pulled out of the station and rode down towards the Klutch.

Sharkman, Reb and Yeti Boy said goodbye at the Klutch and headed back to the Shark Cove via Qman Hill and MN Ave.while the Nation rode on.

Returning Minion John, name to
be determined!

Sharkman had requested that Gazelle Girl write something up, but later the Editors at Belo News received an email from the Sweetheart of the Peloton that stated,

“Sadly, I don't have a write up for today. My memory for events when I'm panting just isn't so good. (It's really not so good any other time, either.) Maybe someone will come through. I did get the GGG Spot Sprint, however, with a little help from my friends!”

Gazelle Girl's comment about “panting,” the GGG Spot Sprint and help from her friends got the newsroom all a-flutter, but it appeared there was nothing more to report.

The Nation gathers for the start!

However, in late breaking news, Squeaky - the Nation's sometimes “Style Guy” - sent an apology to Belo News for the entire Nation, or at least those in attendance on Saturday, concerning “assistance” to Gazelle Girl during the sprint.

“Dear Sharkman,

If you have not heard yet, I made a bad error in judgment by trying to help Gazelle Girl to G Ave. by giving her a little push. I could have caused a big accident by going out of control. It was a bad idea and I will take the full reprimand of the Sharkman and a 4 week suspension if required. I won't ever try that again and am sorry and will apologize to the ride for my action.

Sincerely,

Squeaky”

The Caboose! Welcome to
the mighty Minion Nation!

Whoa, what happened! Belo News immediately launched an investigation into the incident and learned the following:

Apparently the Nation was steaming toward the GGG Spot Sprint and it appeared that once again, Gazelle Girl was in the mood to “go for it.” Zychmann, Airman and Sasquatch decided to give the Sweetheart of the Peloton a lead out so that she could achieve complete satisfaction in taking the sprint. As Gazelle Girl described it, Squeaky stated that “This is how my brother helps!” as he tried to push Gazelle Girl. However, the movement caused Squeaky to loose control and he jeopardized several riders as he attempted to regain his balance.

None the less, Squeaky seemed truly remorseful and has committed to being a safer rider by not circling in intersections, jumping intersections early, and maintaining his line when he is in a sprint. It is a good reminder to all riders! All riders need to remember that in a group, the slightest movement made without looking can cause major problems. It is all about being safe on this ride!

Minions will not want to miss this week's edition when the Nation heads south once again! Is this a great country or what!?!

It is Shermanator Weekend, so the Old Shark will be giving his “Tour of South Central Kalamazoo County!” After all, Easty wants to collect on his “season pass” for all the sites! Only $.50 cents a look, no change.......

So don't forget your change! The invoice system doesn't seem to be working for the old Shark, so it is back to “Pay as you Go!”

The Nation will also be riding it in style as it will be Tony the Tiger Jersey Day! Yes, you heard that right, Bunkie!

Break out that Tony the Tiger Jersey and bring lots of change for the Sharkman!

Saturday, August (can it be August already?) 1, 2015

Launch Time – 8:00 A.M. - SHARP!

Be there!

BLOODY 'ELL 'UNDRED AUGUST 15, 2015!

Belo News

July 28, 2015

Zychmann Estate, Mi. - Though the Sharkman has been gone a lot this summer, he will be riding his first ever, Bloody 'Ell 'Undred and is ready to rock! Oh, the humanity!

But is the Bloody 'Ell 'Undred, or better known as the BEU, ready for the Sharkman? Yes it is!

This annual event will take place on Saturday, August 15, 2015 with a start time of 9:00 a.m. This is a casual ride, not a race!

It is important to RSVP for this event! So get your RSVP to Gazelle Girl NOW!

Joan.o@comcast.net

Be there!

IN OTHER NEWS!

Belo News

July 29, 2015

Stroker and Hoosier Boy at
Goguac Lake Swim!

Battle Creek, Mi. - Belo News would like to apologize for the delay in getting this next story to the Nation. Though the information was received a week ago, in time for the last edition, the entire staff here at Belo News needed serious psychological counseling after seeing Hoosier Boy without his shirt on. Who knew there could be that much fir on that guys chest!

However, we digress. Both Hoosier Boy and Stroker competed in the Goguac Lake Swim two weeks ago and Stroker brought home the gold in his division! Way to go Minions, you did the Nation proud!

Now, Hoosier Boy, get that shirt back on, we're still having nightmares!

Easty, KJ and Marco Polo dipping wheels
in the Mississippi River!

Mississippi River, Iowa – Easty, KJ and Marco Polo finished strong in the RAGBRAI and they finished in style! Marco Polo is a retired Navy Commander and imagine his delight when they ran across the U.S. Navy Cycling Team! The Minions were immediately “welcomed aboard” and rode with the team. It is reported that the team was VERY fast and that they loved the “Shark Minion” jerseys!

Minions with the U.S. Navy
Cycling Team! Is this a great coutnry or what!?!

Nice job Minions! You did the Nation proud!

Great Shark Tatoo!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.