ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL RIDE FOR 21 MINIONS!

The Skipper & Bissell Boy return
to the Nation!

SHORT SLEEVE RIDING! OH, THE HUMANITY?

MINION VICTORIES AT YANKEE SPRINGS!

TUESDAY NIGHT CHAIN GANG RIDE GETS SNOWED/WINDED OUT! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

April 18, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - Our intrepid hero had difficulty getting his dorsal out of bed as dawn broke brightly over the Cove on Saturday. Sharkman had played golf on Friday and had a post match couple of beers. He then went over to Yeti Boy's to buy some of his excellent fresh baked bread and shared a beer there. Later, our hero went to dinner and had a couple of beers with friends and then came home and the friends came in and he had a “night cap”

New Minion Matt, now known
as the Greyhound!
Welcome to the Nation, Greyhound!

with them. This was more beer than our hero normally drinks, but it was over a 9 hour period and he never felt like he had been drinking. Well, that is, until he got up early to make the ride start that he had moved up to 8:30 a.m.! Oh, the humanity. What was he thinking? At the Press Conference after the ride, he commented that he felt cheated out of having been drunk. He stated that he felt hung over but had never actually been drunk? How does that happen?

Shortly after waking up, Sharkman received a text (at 6:56 a.m. to be exact) from Rainman across the street from the Cove. “Sharkman, a quick note to mention that Rainman was up too late and needs some Beauty rest (hey, if you can't be good, might as well look good). Have fun!”

Say what? Sharkman needed the sleep, not the young Rainman!

Puppy.......

None the less, our hero got dressed and for the first time this season, wore shorts to the start. Donning his arm warmers and a light rain jacket, which he shed at the start, the

Stryker Guy showing Bissell Boy his new
red Specialized Roubaix!

Sharkman was ready to ride. Sporting his retro Schwinn Jersey the old Shark was living the credo, “If you can't be good, look good!”

Mad Dog pulled up on schedule and asked where Rainman was, to which Sharkman replied, “getting his beauty rest!”

As the two Minions arrived at the start, two veterans of the Peloton were there waiting! Bissell Boy and the Skipper were ready to make their season debuts and the entire peloton was waiting for the Skipper to lead off the train that is the mighty Minion Nation!

Sasquatch and his Bianchi were back for
their season debut!

Some other veterans were also back like Sasquatch and Mighty Monk also making their season debuts.

Another rider who had ridden with the Nation before, but had gone un-named, was Matt, riding one of the largest bikes in the mighty Minion Nation. Matt was riding a Zinn bike, special built for tall riders. As a matter of fact, the head bracket was huge, as is evident in the photo!

Later in the ride, Yeti Boy was quoted as saying that “riding next to him was like looking up at a Greyhound Buss from a Hugo!” Appropriately, Matt is now known as the Greyhound Bus or Greyhound! Welcome to the Nation, Greyhound!

Stryker Guy then rode in on his new red Specialized Roubaix! That's right, Bunkie! Stryker Guy went and bought himself a retirement gift! That baby is going to look good parked next to Sharkman's Litespeed at Denny's at breakfast! Is this a great country or what?!?

Where's Toesetter? "How should I
know? Sleeping in!"

Gazelle Girl then rode in to shouts of “Gazelle Girl” sans Toesetter! Where was the iconic rider who had made the first two rides in the cold on this nice warm day? Gazelle Girl claimed he overslept and had to work on his “Man Shed” and wouldn't be making the ride!

Uh?

It was great to have Skipper back in the mix and with the mellow sound of pedals clicking in, 15 riders headed into town behind him.

As the Nation stopped for the light in front of the Klutch and waved to their adoring fans, Boatman jumped on at the front and Airman, who had miscalculated the ride over, caught on at the back to make it 17 riders. As a matter of fact, it seems like over the past three weeks, riders have been jumping in and out of the ride to make it difficult to insure that no Minion is left behind!

Mighty Monk in his season debut and
before the "bonk!"

The peloton began to head out of down two abreast, with Skipper leading the Nation north.

Sharkman was again granted the first sprint, which he actually attacked despite his still feeling a bit “drinkified.”

After a photo op and a quick count, the Nation was off again, heading into the col de Twin Lakes, over Rt. 89 and on to Kellogg Korner, which badly needed sweeping!

The pace again picked up through the Kountry Klub section and on to the Rt. 43 sprint, where the Nation gathered up and discussed the naming of Greyhound.

Meanwhile, Mighty Monk, riding a new bike, as well as not having breakfast, was struggling at the back. Dreamboat was keeping and eye on him, but he later reported that he was bonking terribly at the back. More on this later......

As the Nation headed out of the col de Norte, again Sharkman was talking, this time to

The Skipper getting the riders lined
up for the start!

Bissell Boy, when he looked up and a break away group had opened a widening gap! Gazelle Girl mentioned, “it happened again!” and blamed Bissell Boy this time! OK, so Sharkman, Gazelle Girl and Bissell Boy like to talk, so what?

The three riders hustled to catch back on as the pace picked up in the Holy Rollers and on to Frona's.

By this time, Mighty Monk was no where to be found and as Sharkman took some photos of Greyhounds bike next to his, Dreamboat went back to look for Mighty Monk. Later, Dreamboat caught back on and reported that Mighty Monk was bonking and was stopping for something to eat and would meet up at the Klutch, which he never did.

The Nation right after Sharkman's opening
sprint win!

Later in the day, Mighty Monk sent in a report to the Sharkman stating that it was “not such a mighty day for me today......I made the major mistake of not hydrating well and had NO breakfast this morning! Great combo for a major 'bonk!' Please feel free to remind the nation in Belo News, using me as an example. I stopped at a C-Store, did some major refueling/hydration (Choc Milk) and was on my way back to Kzoo in 15 min.....hate that I missed coffee.”

So, Minions, eat your breakfast before the ride or suffer the consequences!

The Nation was sorry as well but glad he made it home safely!

As the Nation headed over the Digital Divide, yet another impressive early season pace line formed up behind Yeti Boy who got it started. This caused Sharkman to wonder what it is that allows the Nation to do a good pace line early in the year and can't come close later in the season?

Sharkman's headset next to the Greyhounds!
Freakie, eh Bunkie?

As the pace picked up and the GGG Spot Sprint came into view, the Nation was disciplined and stayed together until a few of the riders broke from the pack to attack the sprint! It may be spring season, but the Nation is getting spunky!

As the Nation headed south, Airman threw himself on his sword and went out front to take up the pace. He put in a humongous pull with Dreamboat and Sharkman right behind him (there were others on, but Sharkman never looks back). As the Nation moved to the run up to the final ascent, Mad Dog took over and then Sasquatch made his move on the outside to take the lead!

The Nation came up in hot pursuit as the the rambling train headed down the descent to the finish!

It was somewhat of a bunched up, close finish as the ride seemed to come together for the final sprint!

The Greyhound next to our hero. Sort
of the "long and the short of it!"

However, since it is still April, the only way to know who takes a sprint is to BE THERE BUNKIE!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's of the peloton zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and waved to the crowd. It was great to be in short sleeves again!

Toast stepped up big time and bought ALL the koffee, as Andrew poured massive kups for the Nation!

Thanks Toast!

The Klutch was jumping during the Post Ride Press Conference as Greyhound discussed his unique Zinn Bike, Toast shared that he builds rowing sculls and Zickman talked of how he is working on his first one.

You won't want to miss next weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Launch Time – 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Skipper & Bissell Boy talk to the
Press while they wait for their kups.

The Nation loves their koffee!

Andrew kept the koffee koming!

Stryker Guy showing photos of his new bike?

MINION RULES AT YANKEE SPRINGS!

Belo News

April 19, 2015

Polar Bear on the podium with
a second place finish in his
age group!

Yankee Springs, Mi. - It was time for the Yankee Springs Time Trials this past weekend and once again, the mighty Minion Nation turned in some mighty impressive racing with at least one podium finish by our own Polar Bear! The man was on fire!

Actually, our on site report AND racer, was none other than Reb himself who reported:

That not since Mick Jagger, has a Brit rocked Yankee soil like Polar Bear did last weekend and that Polar Bear mentioned, in his post podium news conference that he was disappointed in the Minion Nation for their lack of participation but did want to give credit to Reb for trying. “That poor bloke couldn't finish in the top half of the fat person category yet he still clipped in and gave it a go!”

Not quite true as Reb himself turned in a stunning performance! After all, he not only competed, he wrote most of this article! Is this a great county or what?!?

As Belo News went to press, the final results had still not been posted and though other members of the mighty Minion Nation may have been on hand, Belo News had no way of knowing. Big thanks to Reb for his in-depth reporting and also congratulations to him on his “stunning” performance!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE GET'S SNOWED/WINDED OUT!

Belo News

April 21 2015

Battle Creek, Mi. - The Tuesday Night Chain Gang Ride was a victim to Mother Nature this week as the forecast of wind chill of 32 degrees with winds at 20 mph and gusting to 41 mph dampened the Nations enthusiasm to ride. After a number of emails made the circuit, it seemed like it was back to winter as the Nation scrubbed the ride and mourned not being able to get out and play!

Hopefully it will warm up before next Tuesday!

This ride launches at 5:30 p.m. from the parking lot behind K2, which shares the parking lot with Arcadia in Battle Creek. The ride goes out to Galesburg and back and some riders join on during the ride.

This ride is similar to the old Chain Gang ride that Kellogg Minions were always late for. So it is set up as a pace line ride. It is a great work out and the Minions adjust the speed to the riders who are there.

So come on out and join the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang. 

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.