ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL RIDE FOR 21 MINIONS!

SKITTLES KEEPS WINNING!

The Nation gathers on Saturday!

TOESETTER MAKES IT TWO IN A ROW!

WILDMAN CAUGHT BY PAPARAZZI!

TUESDAY NIGHT CHAIN GANG RIDE BEGINS!

Belo News

April 11, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - Dawn, once again, broke cold and crisp as our hero bounded from under his Shark Bedspread and headed to the Shark Weather Station to check out what type of clothing should be selected for the cool ride ahead. Though not as cold as the previous week, 35 degrees at launch is still a bit daunting.

Sharkman giving starting instructions (please note how absolutely no one is paying attention).
Oh, the humanity!!!

Sharkman brought a number of clothing selections up from his Shark Locker in the Shark Cove basement before finally deciding on his kit for the day. As he prepared his ride for the morning, he continued to feel cold and decided on the heavier kit, however, it later proved to be too warm for the cold blooded shark.

Zickman/Fabio makes his season debut!

Mad Dog rode into the Cove as the garage door at Rainman's abode slowly rose. Yes, Rainman was back from his spring training in Arizona and was ready to ride. The three riders caught up on their winter activities, spring training and the fact that it seemed like the warm weather would never arrive.

As they headed down into Galesburg, they saw Nikeboy riding back towards Battle Creek and waved hello. Nikeboy apparently had something else going and make and early ride.

At the start, a number of riders were already there and many were unloading their bikes from their cars and trucks.

On the previous evening, Chains, also known as “the Bounty Hunter” had reported to Sharkman that he was bringing a new rider who had kept saying he was going to ride, but then did not show up. Chains commented that he thought his name should be “the Promise” as he had yet to keep his promise to ride. 

Sharkman thought it might be more appropriate to name him “the Promise Breaker,” but was open to the name, pending the ride.

Chains with new Minion, "the Promise."
Welcome to the Nation, Promise!

Well, Belo News is pleased to report that “the Promise” finally kept his promise and made his first ride! However, he certainly has a lot to live up to with a name like “the Promise!” Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Promise! The Nation will be watching you!

As a matter of fact, Belo News has learned through an under cover informant that “the Promise” had forgotten his gloves and a hat and had to borrow them at the start! Having “the Promise” in the Nation "promises" to be interesting........

In attendance at the start was Zickman/Fabio after wintering in San Diego. Fabio, you ask? Yes, this past year at Iceman Zickman began complaining to Sharkman that his name was, for lack of a better word, humdrum. Humdrum? The legendary Zickman? Humdrum? We think not!

Rainman and the Great Dane in their
season debut!

When asked what kind of name he'd like he replied, "I don't know, something like .....Fabio." Well, the name must have stuck as Sharkman was talking to Reb later in the week and commented on how strong he had ridden. Reb stated it was because he had ridden the wheel of Yeti Boy and Zickman/Fabio and coasted behind the combined age of 130+! Is this a great country or what!?!

Recently retired Stryker Guy tried to sneak into the start before being spotted by the paparazzi, while Toast was also making his season debut to the peloton.

For the second week in a row, Gazelle Girl shocked the peloton by showing up at the start with Toesetter in tow, making it two in a row! Say that 10 times fast, Bunkie!

To shouts of “Gazelle Girl!” the Nation slowly came to the starting line, where Sharkman attempted to give instructions but as readers will note from the photo, no one was listening.

B-Rod was ready to start the season!

Sharkman got the train moving and then immediately had to pull over to adjust his seat, which had shifted when his bike had fallen over while he was taking photographs.

Eighteen riders clicked in and the trained pulled out of the station on time!

As the Nation slid by the Klutch, the early morning group waved their hero's on and someone saw the Pirate pulling into the parking lot. It appeared he was in street clothes so the Nation assumed he was getting koffee and just kept going. He was, in fact, planning to ride and with jet lag, had over slept. He ended up catching on later somewhere near the Frona stop.

As the Nation headed north, Sharkman worked the peloton, pressing the flesh as B-Rod, making his season debut, headed to the front and

New Minion Buff was back!  Welcome
to the Nation, Buff!

tried to push the early season pace. But the Nation was not taking the bait and continued to talk as they pedaled into a friendly pace.

B-Rod did led out our hero to take his honorary first sprint with Reb on his wheel. Sharkman took a count at the G Ave. crossing and the Nation moved on to the col de Twin Lakes where a rider threw a chain and the Nation splintered at the top of the climb as some slowed and some did not.

At the Yorkville Church, some of the Nation put the pedal down and the pace picked up considerably. Sharkman was fighting to hang on but got dropped and was pulling a smaller group past the Kountry Klub and was fading fast. However, Zickman/Fabio came by stating, “you've pulled long enough!” and took over. Thanks Zickman/Fabio!

The Nation gathered back up at the top of the col de Norte before heading into the Holy Roller section. Out of the blue, Boatman appeared and was obvious as he was the only rider wearing shorts! Welcome back Boatman!

Stryker Guy tried to sneak in for his season
debut, but got caught in this photo.

Sharkman was talking to Gazelle Girl as they headed south and before they knew it, the Nation had opened up a huge gap and riders were spread all over the hills before getting to the Frona feed station.

After crossing the Digital Divide, Mad Dog went to the front and started, what turned out to be, a pretty darn good pace line for this early in the season. The speed picked up and the Nation stayed together until the GGG Spot were a couple of riders took off to contest the sprint (Belo News will not be reporting sprint finishes until May).

As the Nation turned south for the final sprint, B-Rod was leading a group that seemed to be jockeying for position. Without a Hossman or Tow Truck to take the pace out, Sharkman decided to go to the front to pick up the pace. Well, as much as Sharkman CAN pick up the pace.....  However, Sharkman started to open up a small gap when, to Sharkman's relief, Rainman took over. The two riders began to open a larger gap as no one from the peloton wanted to chase. They maintained the gap to the bottom of the final ascent to the finish. Mad Dog then went by and Rainman went after him as did a number of Minions who were feeling frisky and wanted to stay near the finish.

Gazelle Girl and Toesetter make
two starts in a row! Is this a great
country or what!?!?

As the fast moving trained moved to the finish, Sharkman noted an average speed of 17.2 mph on the ride. Very mellow and a good spring ride pace.

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and motored their way to the Klutch where Andrew was waiting with hot koffee in new mugs!

Rainman bought koffee for our hero and some of the early morning group were still having their morning brew. (Thanks Rainman!)

The discussions centered around the Pirate and Boatman's late arrival, Zickman/Fabio's spring training in San Diego, Sharkman being over dressed for the ride home, and the new Edward Jones Koffee mugs at the Klutch. Most of the Nation stopped for koffee and swiftly cleaned out the place and took over. Is this a great country or what!?!

You won't want to miss next weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

The late arrivals, Pirate and Boatman enjoy a kup!

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

The Klutch was rocking!

Gazelle Girl, Zickman/Fabio, Toesetter and B-Rod
hold court at the Klutch.

SKITTLES KEEPS WINNING!

Belo News

Skittles looking good for the paparazzi!
Photo by Tara Plante

April 11, 2015

Lowell, Mi. - The Nations own Skittles was at it again this past weekend when he raced a Gravel Road Race and took second in this age group at The Lowell 50 – Classic Gravel Road Race!

Skittles medals again!

During the post race press conference, the Gravel Road Expert was asked about his second place finish, to which he responded, with a new bend on the the old Minion Credo, “I may have come in second, but when you look this good, every day is a win!”

Spoken like a true Minion!

Skittles , who was in attendance on Opening Day also stated he is looking forward to getting back to the Nation. That is, if he isn't winning or placing in another gravel/cyclocross race somewhere in Michigan!

Congratulations Skittles, you did the Nation proud!

WILDMAN CAUGHT BY PAPARAZZI!

Belo News

April 9, 2015

Wildman and family caught by the paparazzi!
Is there no decency?

Battle Creek, Mi. - As a “legend” of the peloton, the Wildman is constantly followed by the paparazzi and as all Minions can identify with, it can be hard to keep them at bay.

The Nation is always being followed and asked questions about our intrepid hero, the Sharkman.

This was quite evident recently when Wildman was confronted by the paparazzi while attempting to have dinner with his wife and in laws at a local Battle Creek establishment. Wildman was, as always gracious and after acknowledging that he does in fact know the Sharkman, and actually knows him well, due to his respect for the diminutive hero, he would not be making any statements.

Thanks Wildman!

THURSDAY NIGHT RIDES BEGIN!

NEXT THURSDAY LAUNCH AT 5:30 P.M. - SHARP!

Belo News

April 14, 2015

How many Minions does it take to watch a
tire change? Apparently, a bunch.....

Battle Creek, Mi. - The Tuesday Night Chain Gang Ride had a “soft” opening this week with 6 Minions testing out the roads for this annual summer riding series. The ride launched from behind K2 in Battle Creek (shares a parking lot with Arcadia) and did pace line work out to Galesburg and back. Airman led the Nation with Stingray, Mad Dog, Rainman, Wildman and of course, our intrepid hero, Sharkman, in tow.

Wildman gives a clinic on tire
change as the Nation looks on.

For the first of the summer series, the small Nation of Minions formed up a very nice pace line, that is until they got to the Battle Creek Sewage Treatment Center where Wildman hit a rock and flatted out immediately. He and Sharkman then led a clinic on tire repair with Sharkman chastising him for not packing his spare tube in talcum powder. However, any credibility given the two in tire repair quickly evaporated when the tire went flat again withing about 50 yards of the repair.

Rainman get's it done!

At this point, Rainman had had enough and took over. Within a fraction of the time, a couple of pinches with , a swift of CO2Rainman had the tire fixed and the Nation back on the road!

This ride is similar to the old Chain Gang ride that Kellogg Minions were always late for. It is a great work out and the group rides adjusts the speed to the riders who are there. So come on out and join the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang.

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.