MINIONS BEAT THE RAIN!

Minions line up for action Saturday!

GAZELLE GIRL GETS THE GGG SPRINT SPOT!

EASTY RETURNS TO BUY KOFFEE!

WHAT'S THE “OTHER GUY” DOING THESE DAYS?

STROKER RANKED #1 IN THE WORLD IN SWIMMING!

SHARKMAN & THE GREAT DANE ROCK THE OLD DOG TAVERN! 

WAIT,... WHAT?

Belo News

April 25, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, we find our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, stumbling from his shark bed and heading straight to the shark radar to check for rain. Several Minions had commented earlier in the week that it was supposed to rain and there was no way they were riding in cold rain. As a matter of fact, Sharkman had talked with Rainman, who was heading to the Fort for a ride, on the previous evening that he would not be riding due to the rain.

Style Guy? Squeaky? Is that you in
a cycling jacket? Oh, the humanity!

Squeaky when he was the
"Style Guy!"

Everyone seemed so certain it was going to rain!

However, as our hero checked the radar, it indicated showers south of Lake Michigan, working their way slowly north, but very slowly. As Sharkman got ready to ride, and re-checked the radar, the showers seemed to be standing still on the south side of the lake. YES!

As our hero got his bike ready, he noticed Rainman's garage door open and the only reason Rainman's garage door would be open this early on a Saturday morning could mean only one thing. If Rainman is riding, there will be no rain!

Polar Bear fresh off his
podium finish at the
Yankee Springs TT!

As the old Shark launched from the Cove, Mad Dog arrived and Rainman jumped on stating, “it's a good day to ride. No rain. I guarantee it!”

As the three headed west, they felt that they were either really feeling strong, or they had a tail wind. As it turned out, it was a tail wind that would play into their return later in the morning.

At the start, everyone was over joyed to see that the Nation's Style Guy, Squeaky, was back in the mix. To every one's surprise, however, he was sporting a new “cycling” jacket in a bright, reddish iridescent color. Style Guy? In a cycling jacket? What happened to the “puffy safety jacket?” When asked about the new look, Squeaky stated he got the jacket on sale for $20 in Philadelphia! If this keeps up, the Nation may have to find a new Style Guy!

Polar Bear was back in the Nation, as well, fresh off his second place finish at the Yankee Springs Time Trails.

The Nation posed for the opening photo, sans Reb, who was trying to find the Minion Restroom behind the school but instead, chose to go behind the concession stand.....which the Nation watched with amusement......

Thirteen Minions made the start and rode through Galesburg and past the Klutch.

Brewman back in action!

As the Nation headed north, Gazelle Girl rode up to shouts of “Gazelle Girl!” What was different this week was the shout out to “Toesetter!” Sharkman was pleased to see the count move to 15 Minions as he can be a bit superstitious about the number 13.....

Airman and B-Rod, as well as Zickman, pushed the pace a bit as the Old Shark took the ceremonial first sprint and confirmed the count at the first G crossing.

The Nation headed up the Col de Twin Lakes and it was apparent that the Nation was beginning to get into form for the season as the pace picked up.

After the Yorkville Church, Zickman took off with Airman in pursuit. The rest of the peloton didn't seem to catch on until it was too late to close the increasing gap. Zickman was moving and both he and Airman seemed to disappear from view.

As the Nation got to the Kountry Klub, they could see Zickman, but no longer could see the speeding Airman who was really feeling frisky and on fire on this fine morning! Airman never looked up and never got caught before the Rt. 43 sprint.

As the Nation moved on to the col de Norte, “Mechanical” could be heard from the back of the peloton. It appeared that Mad Dog had a slow leak in his rear tire, so the Minions stopped near the boat launch so he could work on it. After a quick review of the situation, Mad Dog chose to simply put some air in the leaking tire and keep riding.

Gazelle Girl, Easty and Rainman!
Easty bought ALL the koffee!

The peloton was together as it summited the col de Norte and quickly headed into the Holy Roller Section where again, the pace picked up with Airman and Zickman up front. Zickman was riding his Giant as he was fearful of the possibility of rain falling on his woodie. 

As the Nation waited for Minions at the feed stop known as Frona's but is now the Queens something, some of the Nation decided to take the short cut while the main peloton went the regular course. This section of road is getting particularly bad and as the Nation came together with the stragglers at the Inlet, the Sharkman wondered about changing the course until that section gets some road repair.

After the crossing the Digital Divide, the Nation again formed up a pretty sweet pace line and the chatter was about whether this would be the Saturday Gazelle Girl would make her move at achieving the coveted GGG sprint spot. Sitting in at about the 6^th or 7^th spot in the pace line she seemed to be biding her time as B-Rod rode by with Zickman shouting out that she should jump on!

Gazelle Girl immediately replied, “You're going too early! Way too early!” Yet the riders kept pushing on.

Gazelle Girl worked her way up the pace line, trying to get into the best position for the final push to the finish. As the Nation made the final curve to the south, Airman, Zickman, B-Rod, Polar Bear and others urged her on as she came to the front, where she had to fight to catch Airman, but Polar Bear came through and led her out to the climax of the sprint!

Standing room only at the Klutch!

All was well in the Nation as Gazelle Girl simply glowed in her sprint win.

As the Nation grouped up at the G Ave. crossing, Sharkman looked for Mad Dog but was told he had decided to change his tube and would meet them at the Klutch. Mad Dog had commented that he has problems with changing the rear wheel out and didn't want to slow the Nation down. Thankfully, he did show up at the Klutch later and made the trip home without further incident.

The Nation stayed close together as they headed down 37^th to the finish. As the Nation approached the foot of the final ascent, everyone was together and Sharkman began to worry about crashes. However, everyone held their lines and as the mass of riders came over the hill, Polar Bear worked his way to the front and just rode away from the peleton like it was standing still, demonstrating he is in mid season form.

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's headed to the Klutch where it was standing room only!

As the Nation pulled up, they noticed a road bike leaning against the front window and were pleasantly surprised to find Easty not only waiting for them, but he had bought all the koffee!

As the Minions piled in, grabbed their koffee and thanked Easty, they struggled to find enough chairs to sit on. All the tables were full and the place was rocking with cyclists and their fans, as well as the press.

Easty filled everyone in on his recovery (which he reported has gone well) as the Nation scattered over the Klutch. Sharkman was concerned for Mad Dog, who finally arrived and had just enough time to have a brief koffee before Sharkman stated he need to go as he was due to drive to Chicago in the afternoon. He was supposed to leave with Lava Girl by noon and he was cutting it close!

As Sharkman, Mad Dog and Rainman headed up the hill, they realized that there had, in fact, been a tail wind and they were now riding into that east, southeast wind on the way home.

Reb honked his horn at the three riders as he headed east on I-94 and later sent a text to Sharkman stating, “Tough wind home. My truck was struggling into the wind! :-)” Funny.......

Sharkman got the "evil eye" from Lava Girl for his somewhat late arrival, but still got cleaned up and out the door by 12:15 p.m!

You won't want to miss this week's edition!

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Launch Time – 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

WHAT'S THE “OTHER GUY” DOING THESE DAYS?

Belo News

Ironman, aka "the other guy!"

April 29, 2015

Galesburg, Mi. - As we all know, Ironman - AKA "The Other Guy" - has been absent from Gazelle Girl's side so far this season. (In case you hadn't noticed, she picked up a slightly slower [yet equally charming] sub rather swiftly. Is this a great country or what?)
Well, turns out The Other Guy has had running on his mind AND in his legs, which propelled him to a fourth place finish in his age group and a 13th overall finish at the grueling Running Fit Trail Marathon held at Pinckney State Rec Area this past Sunday.

Great job, Ironman!!! You did the Nation proud!
Unfortunately, we won't see this mighty Minion's Ironman tattoo pumping the pedals in the peloton this weekend as he'll be running yet ANOTHER marathon - the Kalamazoo one - this Sunday. Oh the humanity! Way to go, Ironman! Good luck on Sunday!

STROKER RANKED #1 IN THE WORLD IN SWIMMING!

Stroker, Numero Uno in
the world!

Belo News

April 29, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - In breaking news, Belo News is proud to report that our own Stroker, competed in the Swim Nationals on the weekend of April 18-19 and took home a ton of medals! Stroker won all 5 of the events he was entered in and broke meet records in all of them as well! Two of these events were State records and he had already previously set the State records in the other three events. As a result of all his hard work, the FINA, the world governing organization for swimming, released their Top Ten Swim rankings for 2014 and Stroker was named All American for 2014 in the 50 meter breast stroke (fastest in the country in his age group). But perhaps more importantly, Stroker has also now been ranked number one in the WORLD (that's right Bunkie, the WORLD!) in the 60-64 age group for the breast stroke.

Congratulations Stroker! You did the Nation proud!

MONDAY MOUNTAIN BIKE RIDES STARTED!

Belo News,

April 27, 2015

Fort Custer, Mi. - Our own Reb has started an informal Monday afternoon mountain bike ride that had a “soft” opening this past Monday. This ride is planned for launch at 3:15 p.m. on Monday afternoons at 3:15 p.m. going forward and this week Sharkman and Yeti Boy accompanied Reb on the inaugural ride.

So, if you're retired (like Sharkman and Yeti Boy) or can skip out of work early, this is a great way to start the week and get a bit of mountain biking in as well.

Monday's

Launch time – 3:15 p.m.

Fort Custer Trail Head

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE GETS BACK ON TRACK!

Belo News

April 28 2015

Battle Creek, Mi. - The Tuesday Night Chain Gang Ride was a victim to Mother Nature last week and was not going to let that happen again!

Five hardy Minion's arrived at the start in short sleeves, ready for action. Quite a change from the previous week! Airman, Stingray, Mad Dog, Wildman and Sharkman headed out right on time at 5:30 p.m.

Winds were light and the sun was warm as the small group set up their pace line, looking for an early season record. The pace line formed up nicely and stayed together with the exception of the G Ave. hill, where it was every Minion for themselves. Forming back up at 37^th Street, the Nation headed back knowing they had a very strong pace going.

As they arrived in Battle Creek they had the rare experience of catching mostly green lights and the fought to bring up the pace. Sharkman led into the curve going towards Helmer, but near the light was completely gassed and turned it over.

Airman, Wildman and Mad Dog made the light and kept going, finishing with and average of 21.08 mph! An early season record!

This ride launches at 5:30 p.m. from the parking lot behind K2, which shares the parking lot with Arcadia Brewing in Battle Creek. The ride goes out to Galesburg and back and some riders join on during the ride.

This ride is similar to the old Chain Gang ride that Kellogg Minions were always late for. So it is set up as a pace line ride. It is a great work out and the Minions adjust the speed to the riders who are present.

So come on out and join the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang.

IN OTHER NEWS!

Belo News

April 29, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - Belo News had so much news this week, there was not enough room for headlines, hence the start of “In Other News!”

The "Kids" new ride!

This week, we hear from Kid Gallagher, who hasn't been out to ride yet. (Yeah, what is that all about?) …...Anyway, he reported buying a new bike. A Trek Domane, no less, which seems to be pretty popular in the peloton these days. The Kid reports, that he is looking forward to joining the Nation soon. He was predicting cold weather for last Saturday so baled early. Too bad too, as the weather was perfect! Well, other than that damn east wind! Here is a shot of his new ride!

Stryker Guy and his posse in Central Virginia!

We also heard from Stryker Guy this week, who is in George Washington National Forest in Central Virgina this week doing high altitude training for his re-entry into the Nation upon his return. Riding his new Specialized Barry Roubaix, he is kicking some butt! Hurry back, Styker Guy, the Nation awaits your return!

Sharkman and the Great Dane rock
the Old Dog Tavern!

Finally, two of the Nation rocked the Old Dog Tavern in Kalamazoo on Monday night at the monthly Great Lakes Acoustic Music Association Jam! None other than Sharkman and the Great Dane belted out Foggy Mountain Breakdown, Wagon Wheel, I Walk the Line, Act Naturally and you are my Sunshine on the ukulele and banjo! Yeti Boy and Mrs. Yeti Boy, as well as Lava Girl, were in attendance as the duo played with the monthly blue grass/folk group (GLAMA), drank beer and belted out songs!

Yes, these Minions can rock! Is this a great country or what?!?

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL RIDE FOR 21 MINIONS!

The Skipper & Bissell Boy return
to the Nation!

SHORT SLEEVE RIDING! OH, THE HUMANITY?

MINION VICTORIES AT YANKEE SPRINGS!

TUESDAY NIGHT CHAIN GANG RIDE GETS SNOWED/WINDED OUT! OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

April 18, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - Our intrepid hero had difficulty getting his dorsal out of bed as dawn broke brightly over the Cove on Saturday. Sharkman had played golf on Friday and had a post match couple of beers. He then went over to Yeti Boy's to buy some of his excellent fresh baked bread and shared a beer there. Later, our hero went to dinner and had a couple of beers with friends and then came home and the friends came in and he had a “night cap”

New Minion Matt, now known
as the Greyhound!
Welcome to the Nation, Greyhound!

with them. This was more beer than our hero normally drinks, but it was over a 9 hour period and he never felt like he had been drinking. Well, that is, until he got up early to make the ride start that he had moved up to 8:30 a.m.! Oh, the humanity. What was he thinking? At the Press Conference after the ride, he commented that he felt cheated out of having been drunk. He stated that he felt hung over but had never actually been drunk? How does that happen?

Shortly after waking up, Sharkman received a text (at 6:56 a.m. to be exact) from Rainman across the street from the Cove. “Sharkman, a quick note to mention that Rainman was up too late and needs some Beauty rest (hey, if you can't be good, might as well look good). Have fun!”

Say what? Sharkman needed the sleep, not the young Rainman!

Puppy.......

None the less, our hero got dressed and for the first time this season, wore shorts to the start. Donning his arm warmers and a light rain jacket, which he shed at the start, the

Stryker Guy showing Bissell Boy his new
red Specialized Roubaix!

Sharkman was ready to ride. Sporting his retro Schwinn Jersey the old Shark was living the credo, “If you can't be good, look good!”

Mad Dog pulled up on schedule and asked where Rainman was, to which Sharkman replied, “getting his beauty rest!”

As the two Minions arrived at the start, two veterans of the Peloton were there waiting! Bissell Boy and the Skipper were ready to make their season debuts and the entire peloton was waiting for the Skipper to lead off the train that is the mighty Minion Nation!

Sasquatch and his Bianchi were back for
their season debut!

Some other veterans were also back like Sasquatch and Mighty Monk also making their season debuts.

Another rider who had ridden with the Nation before, but had gone un-named, was Matt, riding one of the largest bikes in the mighty Minion Nation. Matt was riding a Zinn bike, special built for tall riders. As a matter of fact, the head bracket was huge, as is evident in the photo!

Later in the ride, Yeti Boy was quoted as saying that “riding next to him was like looking up at a Greyhound Buss from a Hugo!” Appropriately, Matt is now known as the Greyhound Bus or Greyhound! Welcome to the Nation, Greyhound!

Stryker Guy then rode in on his new red Specialized Roubaix! That's right, Bunkie! Stryker Guy went and bought himself a retirement gift! That baby is going to look good parked next to Sharkman's Litespeed at Denny's at breakfast! Is this a great country or what?!?

Where's Toesetter? "How should I
know? Sleeping in!"

Gazelle Girl then rode in to shouts of “Gazelle Girl” sans Toesetter! Where was the iconic rider who had made the first two rides in the cold on this nice warm day? Gazelle Girl claimed he overslept and had to work on his “Man Shed” and wouldn't be making the ride!

Uh?

It was great to have Skipper back in the mix and with the mellow sound of pedals clicking in, 15 riders headed into town behind him.

As the Nation stopped for the light in front of the Klutch and waved to their adoring fans, Boatman jumped on at the front and Airman, who had miscalculated the ride over, caught on at the back to make it 17 riders. As a matter of fact, it seems like over the past three weeks, riders have been jumping in and out of the ride to make it difficult to insure that no Minion is left behind!

Mighty Monk in his season debut and
before the "bonk!"

The peloton began to head out of down two abreast, with Skipper leading the Nation north.

Sharkman was again granted the first sprint, which he actually attacked despite his still feeling a bit “drinkified.”

After a photo op and a quick count, the Nation was off again, heading into the col de Twin Lakes, over Rt. 89 and on to Kellogg Korner, which badly needed sweeping!

The pace again picked up through the Kountry Klub section and on to the Rt. 43 sprint, where the Nation gathered up and discussed the naming of Greyhound.

Meanwhile, Mighty Monk, riding a new bike, as well as not having breakfast, was struggling at the back. Dreamboat was keeping and eye on him, but he later reported that he was bonking terribly at the back. More on this later......

As the Nation headed out of the col de Norte, again Sharkman was talking, this time to

The Skipper getting the riders lined
up for the start!

Bissell Boy, when he looked up and a break away group had opened a widening gap! Gazelle Girl mentioned, “it happened again!” and blamed Bissell Boy this time! OK, so Sharkman, Gazelle Girl and Bissell Boy like to talk, so what?

The three riders hustled to catch back on as the pace picked up in the Holy Rollers and on to Frona's.

By this time, Mighty Monk was no where to be found and as Sharkman took some photos of Greyhounds bike next to his, Dreamboat went back to look for Mighty Monk. Later, Dreamboat caught back on and reported that Mighty Monk was bonking and was stopping for something to eat and would meet up at the Klutch, which he never did.

The Nation right after Sharkman's opening
sprint win!

Later in the day, Mighty Monk sent in a report to the Sharkman stating that it was “not such a mighty day for me today......I made the major mistake of not hydrating well and had NO breakfast this morning! Great combo for a major 'bonk!' Please feel free to remind the nation in Belo News, using me as an example. I stopped at a C-Store, did some major refueling/hydration (Choc Milk) and was on my way back to Kzoo in 15 min.....hate that I missed coffee.”

So, Minions, eat your breakfast before the ride or suffer the consequences!

The Nation was sorry as well but glad he made it home safely!

As the Nation headed over the Digital Divide, yet another impressive early season pace line formed up behind Yeti Boy who got it started. This caused Sharkman to wonder what it is that allows the Nation to do a good pace line early in the year and can't come close later in the season?

Sharkman's headset next to the Greyhounds!
Freakie, eh Bunkie?

As the pace picked up and the GGG Spot Sprint came into view, the Nation was disciplined and stayed together until a few of the riders broke from the pack to attack the sprint! It may be spring season, but the Nation is getting spunky!

As the Nation headed south, Airman threw himself on his sword and went out front to take up the pace. He put in a humongous pull with Dreamboat and Sharkman right behind him (there were others on, but Sharkman never looks back). As the Nation moved to the run up to the final ascent, Mad Dog took over and then Sasquatch made his move on the outside to take the lead!

The Nation came up in hot pursuit as the the rambling train headed down the descent to the finish!

It was somewhat of a bunched up, close finish as the ride seemed to come together for the final sprint!

The Greyhound next to our hero. Sort
of the "long and the short of it!"

However, since it is still April, the only way to know who takes a sprint is to BE THERE BUNKIE!

The crowds went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's of the peloton zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and waved to the crowd. It was great to be in short sleeves again!

Toast stepped up big time and bought ALL the koffee, as Andrew poured massive kups for the Nation!

Thanks Toast!

The Klutch was jumping during the Post Ride Press Conference as Greyhound discussed his unique Zinn Bike, Toast shared that he builds rowing sculls and Zickman talked of how he is working on his first one.

You won't want to miss next weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Launch Time – 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

BE THERE!

Skipper & Bissell Boy talk to the
Press while they wait for their kups.

The Nation loves their koffee!

Andrew kept the koffee koming!

Stryker Guy showing photos of his new bike?

MINION RULES AT YANKEE SPRINGS!

Belo News

April 19, 2015

Polar Bear on the podium with
a second place finish in his
age group!

Yankee Springs, Mi. - It was time for the Yankee Springs Time Trials this past weekend and once again, the mighty Minion Nation turned in some mighty impressive racing with at least one podium finish by our own Polar Bear! The man was on fire!

Actually, our on site report AND racer, was none other than Reb himself who reported:

That not since Mick Jagger, has a Brit rocked Yankee soil like Polar Bear did last weekend and that Polar Bear mentioned, in his post podium news conference that he was disappointed in the Minion Nation for their lack of participation but did want to give credit to Reb for trying. “That poor bloke couldn't finish in the top half of the fat person category yet he still clipped in and gave it a go!”

Not quite true as Reb himself turned in a stunning performance! After all, he not only competed, he wrote most of this article! Is this a great county or what?!?

As Belo News went to press, the final results had still not been posted and though other members of the mighty Minion Nation may have been on hand, Belo News had no way of knowing. Big thanks to Reb for his in-depth reporting and also congratulations to him on his “stunning” performance!

TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE GET'S SNOWED/WINDED OUT!

Belo News

April 21 2015

Battle Creek, Mi. - The Tuesday Night Chain Gang Ride was a victim to Mother Nature this week as the forecast of wind chill of 32 degrees with winds at 20 mph and gusting to 41 mph dampened the Nations enthusiasm to ride. After a number of emails made the circuit, it seemed like it was back to winter as the Nation scrubbed the ride and mourned not being able to get out and play!

Hopefully it will warm up before next Tuesday!

This ride launches at 5:30 p.m. from the parking lot behind K2, which shares the parking lot with Arcadia in Battle Creek. The ride goes out to Galesburg and back and some riders join on during the ride.

This ride is similar to the old Chain Gang ride that Kellogg Minions were always late for. So it is set up as a pace line ride. It is a great work out and the Minions adjust the speed to the riders who are there.

So come on out and join the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang. 

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL RIDE FOR 21 MINIONS!

SKITTLES KEEPS WINNING!

The Nation gathers on Saturday!

TOESETTER MAKES IT TWO IN A ROW!

WILDMAN CAUGHT BY PAPARAZZI!

TUESDAY NIGHT CHAIN GANG RIDE BEGINS!

Belo News

April 11, 2015

Shark Cove, Mi. - Dawn, once again, broke cold and crisp as our hero bounded from under his Shark Bedspread and headed to the Shark Weather Station to check out what type of clothing should be selected for the cool ride ahead. Though not as cold as the previous week, 35 degrees at launch is still a bit daunting.

Sharkman giving starting instructions (please note how absolutely no one is paying attention).
Oh, the humanity!!!

Sharkman brought a number of clothing selections up from his Shark Locker in the Shark Cove basement before finally deciding on his kit for the day. As he prepared his ride for the morning, he continued to feel cold and decided on the heavier kit, however, it later proved to be too warm for the cold blooded shark.

Zickman/Fabio makes his season debut!

Mad Dog rode into the Cove as the garage door at Rainman's abode slowly rose. Yes, Rainman was back from his spring training in Arizona and was ready to ride. The three riders caught up on their winter activities, spring training and the fact that it seemed like the warm weather would never arrive.

As they headed down into Galesburg, they saw Nikeboy riding back towards Battle Creek and waved hello. Nikeboy apparently had something else going and make and early ride.

At the start, a number of riders were already there and many were unloading their bikes from their cars and trucks.

On the previous evening, Chains, also known as “the Bounty Hunter” had reported to Sharkman that he was bringing a new rider who had kept saying he was going to ride, but then did not show up. Chains commented that he thought his name should be “the Promise” as he had yet to keep his promise to ride. 

Sharkman thought it might be more appropriate to name him “the Promise Breaker,” but was open to the name, pending the ride.

Chains with new Minion, "the Promise."
Welcome to the Nation, Promise!

Well, Belo News is pleased to report that “the Promise” finally kept his promise and made his first ride! However, he certainly has a lot to live up to with a name like “the Promise!” Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation Promise! The Nation will be watching you!

As a matter of fact, Belo News has learned through an under cover informant that “the Promise” had forgotten his gloves and a hat and had to borrow them at the start! Having “the Promise” in the Nation "promises" to be interesting........

In attendance at the start was Zickman/Fabio after wintering in San Diego. Fabio, you ask? Yes, this past year at Iceman Zickman began complaining to Sharkman that his name was, for lack of a better word, humdrum. Humdrum? The legendary Zickman? Humdrum? We think not!

Rainman and the Great Dane in their
season debut!

When asked what kind of name he'd like he replied, "I don't know, something like .....Fabio." Well, the name must have stuck as Sharkman was talking to Reb later in the week and commented on how strong he had ridden. Reb stated it was because he had ridden the wheel of Yeti Boy and Zickman/Fabio and coasted behind the combined age of 130+! Is this a great country or what!?!

Recently retired Stryker Guy tried to sneak into the start before being spotted by the paparazzi, while Toast was also making his season debut to the peloton.

For the second week in a row, Gazelle Girl shocked the peloton by showing up at the start with Toesetter in tow, making it two in a row! Say that 10 times fast, Bunkie!

To shouts of “Gazelle Girl!” the Nation slowly came to the starting line, where Sharkman attempted to give instructions but as readers will note from the photo, no one was listening.

B-Rod was ready to start the season!

Sharkman got the train moving and then immediately had to pull over to adjust his seat, which had shifted when his bike had fallen over while he was taking photographs.

Eighteen riders clicked in and the trained pulled out of the station on time!

As the Nation slid by the Klutch, the early morning group waved their hero's on and someone saw the Pirate pulling into the parking lot. It appeared he was in street clothes so the Nation assumed he was getting koffee and just kept going. He was, in fact, planning to ride and with jet lag, had over slept. He ended up catching on later somewhere near the Frona stop.

As the Nation headed north, Sharkman worked the peloton, pressing the flesh as B-Rod, making his season debut, headed to the front and

New Minion Buff was back!  Welcome
to the Nation, Buff!

tried to push the early season pace. But the Nation was not taking the bait and continued to talk as they pedaled into a friendly pace.

B-Rod did led out our hero to take his honorary first sprint with Reb on his wheel. Sharkman took a count at the G Ave. crossing and the Nation moved on to the col de Twin Lakes where a rider threw a chain and the Nation splintered at the top of the climb as some slowed and some did not.

At the Yorkville Church, some of the Nation put the pedal down and the pace picked up considerably. Sharkman was fighting to hang on but got dropped and was pulling a smaller group past the Kountry Klub and was fading fast. However, Zickman/Fabio came by stating, “you've pulled long enough!” and took over. Thanks Zickman/Fabio!

The Nation gathered back up at the top of the col de Norte before heading into the Holy Roller section. Out of the blue, Boatman appeared and was obvious as he was the only rider wearing shorts! Welcome back Boatman!

Stryker Guy tried to sneak in for his season
debut, but got caught in this photo.

Sharkman was talking to Gazelle Girl as they headed south and before they knew it, the Nation had opened up a huge gap and riders were spread all over the hills before getting to the Frona feed station.

After crossing the Digital Divide, Mad Dog went to the front and started, what turned out to be, a pretty darn good pace line for this early in the season. The speed picked up and the Nation stayed together until the GGG Spot were a couple of riders took off to contest the sprint (Belo News will not be reporting sprint finishes until May).

As the Nation turned south for the final sprint, B-Rod was leading a group that seemed to be jockeying for position. Without a Hossman or Tow Truck to take the pace out, Sharkman decided to go to the front to pick up the pace. Well, as much as Sharkman CAN pick up the pace.....  However, Sharkman started to open up a small gap when, to Sharkman's relief, Rainman took over. The two riders began to open a larger gap as no one from the peloton wanted to chase. They maintained the gap to the bottom of the final ascent to the finish. Mad Dog then went by and Rainman went after him as did a number of Minions who were feeling frisky and wanted to stay near the finish.

Gazelle Girl and Toesetter make
two starts in a row! Is this a great
country or what!?!?

As the fast moving trained moved to the finish, Sharkman noted an average speed of 17.2 mph on the ride. Very mellow and a good spring ride pace.

The tofosi and paparazzi went wild on the Champs le Galesburg as the hero's zipped up their jersey's for the sponsors and motored their way to the Klutch where Andrew was waiting with hot koffee in new mugs!

Rainman bought koffee for our hero and some of the early morning group were still having their morning brew. (Thanks Rainman!)

The discussions centered around the Pirate and Boatman's late arrival, Zickman/Fabio's spring training in San Diego, Sharkman being over dressed for the ride home, and the new Edward Jones Koffee mugs at the Klutch. Most of the Nation stopped for koffee and swiftly cleaned out the place and took over. Is this a great country or what!?!

You won't want to miss next weeks edition of the KK-TdG!

The late arrivals, Pirate and Boatman enjoy a kup!

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Launch Time - 8:30 a.m. - SHARP!

Be there!

The Klutch was rocking!

Gazelle Girl, Zickman/Fabio, Toesetter and B-Rod
hold court at the Klutch.

SKITTLES KEEPS WINNING!

Belo News

Skittles looking good for the paparazzi!
Photo by Tara Plante

April 11, 2015

Lowell, Mi. - The Nations own Skittles was at it again this past weekend when he raced a Gravel Road Race and took second in this age group at The Lowell 50 – Classic Gravel Road Race!

Skittles medals again!

During the post race press conference, the Gravel Road Expert was asked about his second place finish, to which he responded, with a new bend on the the old Minion Credo, “I may have come in second, but when you look this good, every day is a win!”

Spoken like a true Minion!

Skittles , who was in attendance on Opening Day also stated he is looking forward to getting back to the Nation. That is, if he isn't winning or placing in another gravel/cyclocross race somewhere in Michigan!

Congratulations Skittles, you did the Nation proud!

WILDMAN CAUGHT BY PAPARAZZI!

Belo News

April 9, 2015

Wildman and family caught by the paparazzi!
Is there no decency?

Battle Creek, Mi. - As a “legend” of the peloton, the Wildman is constantly followed by the paparazzi and as all Minions can identify with, it can be hard to keep them at bay.

The Nation is always being followed and asked questions about our intrepid hero, the Sharkman.

This was quite evident recently when Wildman was confronted by the paparazzi while attempting to have dinner with his wife and in laws at a local Battle Creek establishment. Wildman was, as always gracious and after acknowledging that he does in fact know the Sharkman, and actually knows him well, due to his respect for the diminutive hero, he would not be making any statements.

Thanks Wildman!

THURSDAY NIGHT RIDES BEGIN!

NEXT THURSDAY LAUNCH AT 5:30 P.M. - SHARP!

Belo News

April 14, 2015

How many Minions does it take to watch a
tire change? Apparently, a bunch.....

Battle Creek, Mi. - The Tuesday Night Chain Gang Ride had a “soft” opening this week with 6 Minions testing out the roads for this annual summer riding series. The ride launched from behind K2 in Battle Creek (shares a parking lot with Arcadia) and did pace line work out to Galesburg and back. Airman led the Nation with Stingray, Mad Dog, Rainman, Wildman and of course, our intrepid hero, Sharkman, in tow.

Wildman gives a clinic on tire
change as the Nation looks on.

For the first of the summer series, the small Nation of Minions formed up a very nice pace line, that is until they got to the Battle Creek Sewage Treatment Center where Wildman hit a rock and flatted out immediately. He and Sharkman then led a clinic on tire repair with Sharkman chastising him for not packing his spare tube in talcum powder. However, any credibility given the two in tire repair quickly evaporated when the tire went flat again withing about 50 yards of the repair.

Rainman get's it done!

At this point, Rainman had had enough and took over. Within a fraction of the time, a couple of pinches with , a swift of CO2Rainman had the tire fixed and the Nation back on the road!

This ride is similar to the old Chain Gang ride that Kellogg Minions were always late for. It is a great work out and the group rides adjusts the speed to the riders who are there. So come on out and join the Tuesday Night Minion Chain Gang.

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.