SHARKMAN GOES ON MEDICARE ….AND WINS!

Happy Birthday Sharkman!

IT RAINED, THEY RODE, THEY HAD CAKE!

RAINMAN ACTUALLY RIDES IN THE RAIN?!?

“SWEETHEART OF THE PELOTON” GETS HITCHED!

OH, THE HUMANITY!

Belo News

October 4, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - All week long, Storm Team Belo News was monitoring the weather, as was the mighty Minion Nation. Emails started coming into the news desk on Thursday night and continued into a very rainy Friday. “If we're rained out, is there still free cake and coffee at 10:30?” seemed to be the major inquiry to the news team.

Dreamboat, Catfish & Rainman (yep, that's Rainman!).

No one was monitoring the radar more closely than our intrepid hero, the Sharkman. The Nation had not been rained out all season and no one wanted to miss an opportunity to ride with the Shark into that place called Medicare!

On Friday afternoon and into evening the storms intensified and the Shark Cove was without power for approximately 4 hours on two separate occasions. Sharkman crawled into his little Shark Bed wondering what would happen on his big morning.

As dawn broke wet over the Shark Cove, our hero jumped from that little Shark bed and ran to the window to see that though the street was wet, it was NOT raining. As he checked the

Yeti Boy looks cold!

radar, and though admittedly, it was an optimistic view, the Sharkman thought he saw a “window of opportunity” in the radar and a ride might just be possible!

Sharkman has learned over the years that no matter what the weather, our intrepid hero needs to be at the start to make the call on the weather as there is always a Minion who wants to ride. So he decided that he would drive to the start to make the call.

As 8:00 a.m. rolled around, Sharkman received a text from Rainman, “Are you riding or driving over?”

Wait, what....? Rainman riding? If only the old Shark had known!

Hoosier Boy looked happy
despite the rain!

Sharkman replied that he was driving and Rainman, who was named that because he never, ever, rides in the rain, was riding in the rain!Rainman stated that he was desperate for miles in preparation for Iceman!

After loading up the Shark Vibemobile, our intrepid hero took off for the start and as he approached Galesburg it began to rain. Sharkman looked down at the outside temp and it read 40 degrees. Was it going to be just he and Rainman?

When our hero pulled into the parking lot, it was abandoned. Somewhat ironic that the last ride of the year would have no riders. However, Sharkman knew Rainman was on the way!

While waiting in his vibemobile, Sharkman decided to check his phone and found an 8:10 a.m. Text from Polar Bear that he must have missed! “Is the ride on?” asked Polar Bear.

Polar Bear assisting with the flat.

The Pirate flew in from Spain!

As Sharkman began to text back that no one was at the start, Dreamboat and Catfish pulled in with their rain gear so Sharkman told Polar Bear the ride was on!

Dreamboat asked where “Mr. Heath” (aka Stryker Guy) was, as he thought he was the “toughest guy in the peloton?” (Editors Note – he did come for the koffee and kake!).

Shortly after, Yeti Boy, Hoosier Boy and Pirate pulled in and began to unload their steeds! Amazingly, Polar Bear arrived within minutes and it looked like there would be a ride despite the spitting rain!

Flat Tire! And they hadn't
even started yet!?!

Crazy eight Minions in attendance for the last ride of the 2014 Season! Is this a great country or what?!?

The Minions were taking a bit longer putting on all the winter and wet gear so the launch did not start at 9:00 A.M. - SHARP! as is the norm, but more like 9:10.

Just as everyone clicked in and began to head out, Rainman shouted, “Flat!” and the train came to an abrupt stop.

Polar Bear and Hoosier Boy were quick to help and the Nation was back on the road quickly, but were still running late.

As the Nation went by the Klutch, the early morning group looked surprised that the Minions were actually riding! Andrew waved as the Nation headed north and Sharkman went to the lead for the last time this season. It was his party and he was ready to rock.

There was a festive feel to the ride as the rain came and went and the wind blew hard out of the west. The roads were wet and sunglasses became like water goggles as the rooster tails flew off the wheels of the nation as they headed up the col de Twin Lakes and on

Sharkman & Catfish after the wet
ride!

toward the Yorkville Church.

Sharkman, worried that the Nation was running late and he may be late for his own party, made the executive decision to take the cut off to the Kountry Klub.

Rainman and Yeti Boy, glad
to be done!

The Nation stayed together through the col de Norte, through the Holy Rollers, past the Queens Cupboard (still trying to get use to the new name of the “Feed Station”) and on to the Inlet.

The wind had really picked up as the peloton crossed over the Digital Divide and started to form up their pace line. The riders looked like cigarette boats with all the water coming off the wheels on the clean pavement in this session. Everyone decided to honor Gazelle Girl in “abstentia,” the GGG Spot Sprint. It was her most silent conquest of the season!

As the Nation lined up for the final, Polar Bear and Rainman went to the front and put in a humongous pull that went all the way to the final climb and ascent to the finish. As the Nation bore down on the finish, Sharkman, sitting in the three spot was wondering why no one was coming around?

Sharkman was thinking he couldn't try to steal the sprint after the humongous pull when he heard Polar Bear asking “is he there?” It was then that it became obvious to Sharkman (Duh!) that the Nation was giving him the honor of the final sprint of the season! Is this a great Nation or what! A class bunch of Minions indeed!

Lava Girl, Toesetter, Sharkman and Gazelle Girl.

Sharkman went around and took the sprint to the cheers of his beloved Nation! Oh, the humanity!

It was a victory for America and with all the crud hanging off the faces of the Nation, it looked like they had just survived world war III!

The fans, umbrella's in hand, were in a state of pandemonium as their hero's rode down the Champs le Galesburg! Sharkman had stopped his HRM and noticed it was 10:42 a.m.! Dang, he was late to his own party!

Hoosier Boy, Mighty Monk and Pirate celebrate!

Minions love cake!

The Klutch was rocking when the Nation arrived! Stingray was out first to click off a few photos of the returning hero's. The Nation in attendance at the Klutch was amazed anyone had ridden!

Lava Girl had brought the cake and the koffee was on the old Shark as the Nation piled into the Klutch! It was so busy, Andrew had his Grandpa and business partner Don in to assist!

Welcome to the mighty Minion Nation, Don!

In addition to the riders on this wet day, Gazelle Girl, Toesetter, Wildman, Moma Bear, Bissell Boy, Stryker Guy, Stingray, Mrs. Yeti Boy, Stroker, Boatman and Mighty Monk were all in attendance.

The high point for Sharkman was when the Nation sang Happy Birthday and the kake was cut! The Nation actually sounded pretty damn good, if we do say so ourselves.....

Rainman and Moma Bear!

The Klutch was rocking!

Yeti Boy then gave an impassioned Wedding Toast to the “Sweetheart of the Peloton,” Gazelle Girl and her beau, Toesetter! Yes, Toesetter and Gazelle Girl got “hitched” later on this famous date, 10-4! Congratulations Toesetter and Gazelle Girl! (more on this celebrity wedding below).

Also, Easty had dropped off thumb drives of the photos the missing photographer had taken on the first Minion Jersey Day. Big thanks to Easty for the great photos! (If you weren't there, let Sharkman know and he will get the drive to you!).

Sharkman even got a bag of prunes for his Birthday from Moma and Polar Bear! As Sharkman always says, “prunes, they are what keep you going!” After all, he is still riding while on Medicare!

It was a fantastic day and Sharkman wants to thank the Nation for a great road season!

Lava Girl & Sharkman before
the Nation tore into the
cake!

Happy Birthday to me!

But it ain't over yet!

The Nation will now move to the mountain bike in preparation for the Iceman! The first ride will be the Annual Barry-Roubaix Ride on October 18! See article below.

Thanks for a great seasons, Minions!

What a great cake!

Andrew kept the koffee koming!

The ceromonial cutting of the cake!

Prunes! Sharkman's secret weapon!

Yeti Boy, Sharkman and Stryker Guy with
matching aqua blue napkins!

Rainman (with Minion Napkin), Sharkman
& Bissell Boy!

“SWEETHEART OF THE PELOTON” GET'S HITCHED!

Belo News

October 4, 2014

The lovely couple!

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - As if Sharkman's birthday wasn't enough, the “Sweetheart of the Peloton,” our very own Gazelle Girl, got hitched to the legendary rider, Toesetter on the same day! Koffe and Kake at 10 and wedding bells at 4! It was a real 10-4 kind of day! 

Though People Magazine was offering a bunch of money for the wedding photographs, Belo News was not to be undone and was able to purchase the rights to the wedding photographs for two kups of bottomless with a cinnamon roll to be named later! 

The paparazzi was all over the Triple Nasty Ranchero for the big event, but only Belo News has the photos!

These photos are the first to be seen of the celebraty couples fabulous wedding day!

A long time friend, Dave DeBack conducted the ceremony and had been ordained some time ago in the “Church of the Latter-Day Dude."  That would make

Dudeist Priest Dave performs
the ceremony.

him a “Dudeist Priest!? Go figure? Actually, if you don't believe this report, you can check it out at http://www.dudeism.com

As Gazelle Girl said, “It's all good, dude!”

Congratulations to Gazelle Girl and Toesetter and the mighty Minion Nation wishes you both all the best in your life together!

BARRY-ROUBAIX -OKTOBERFEST RIDE, OCTOBER 18, 2014

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Belo News

October 8, 2014

Hasting, Mi. - It's that time of year again, when the Minions think of getting ready for Iceman. And what better way to get ready for Iceman than to ride your bike and drink beer!?!

The Second Annual Minion Barry-Roubaix Training ride will take place on Saturday, October 18, 2014 at 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!  

The Nation will meet at the Kmart Parking Lot in Hastings for the 30 mile route.

Following the ride, the Nation will head over to the Waldorf for lunch and to determine if there is any beer left as part of the Hastings Oktoberfest Celebrations!

Is this a great country or what?!?

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.