THEY CAME! THEY RODE! THEY KILLED! THEY HAD KOFFEE!

MINIONS 1, INDECISIVE CHIPMUNK 0!

FASTEST KK-TdG OF THE YEAR!

COLLEGE GAME DAY THIS SATURDAY!

MINIONS ROCK AT “DANCES WITH DIRT!”

Belo News

September 20, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman

began his Saturday morning ritual of checking the weather (perfect), brewing the coffee (excellent), readying his stead (a classic) and downing his prunes (delicious). Yes, many have wondered what gives your hero the super human cycling skills that he possesses and now it has been revealed. It is prunes! It keeps our hero moving!

Boatman, late again, but still
got in a photo!

As the Shark Coves garage door went up, there was no sign of life at the Rain Cove, so Sharkman headed out and found Mad Dog pedaling madly to get to Sharkman before he got too far ahead.

Both riders talked about how great the weather looked and how good they looked in their Minion Jerseys!

As they approached the start, the parking lot was filling up with riders and Sharkman reminisced about how in years past if there were 5-8 riders after Labor Day, it was a good turn out, but now he is disappointed if there aren't at least 15 riders on a given Saturday.

Long time Minion and occasional rider, Cycocross was back to ride.

Many do not know the story, but Cycocross is the rider who coined the name, “Minion Nation!”

That's right folks! Years ago, at a Kalamazoo Bike Club Friday Night Tour de Gull, our intrepid hero drove into the start when the start was behind Billy's Bike Shop. As he pulled in, Cycocross started shouting “All hail the Mighty Sharkman!” as other riders picked up the chant! Though hard to believe, this was before our hero's wide spread fame had been established and the riders that night became his first “Mighty Nation!” All hail the mighty Sharkman!

Reb back for a second week!

Returning for a second week, and un-photographed this season, was Reb, who had actually borrowed road tires for his cyclocross bike and would be in the “thick of it this week!” 

Welcome back Reb!

Easty, Marco, Brewman, B-Rod, Cheese, Stroker, Polar Bear and Wildman and a late Styker Guy, were also there in time for the start photo, as well as Gazelle Girl who got her shout out as she rode into the start. Reb took the photo as he does not have a Minion Jersey (what's up with that?).

And Cycocross doesn't have a jersey either! Come on, you invented the name!

After the photo, Boatman pulled in and Sharkman took a quick photo of the late arriving rider, before the Nation headed out!

Wildman, then Polar Bear then B-Rod, led our hero out to the first sprint and after a count of 15 riders the Nation headed north to the col de Twin Lakes and past the Yorkville Church.

In a rare display of his cycling prowess, our hero, the Sharkman made a big (yet rare) move in the Kountry Klub section.

As usual, the pace picked up quickly as the Nation rounded Kellogg Korner and headed past the Kountry Klub.

A gathering of "the Klan!"

After the turn to the Rt. 43 sprint, Cheese was putting in a humongous pull at the front with our hero on his wheel. The pace picked up to around 27 mph and Sharkman wondered who would come around the two riders. When no one did, Sharkman pondered making a move but felt some guilt that Cheese had pulled so hard for so long. “Ah, he's young, he'll win a million sprints going forward!” Sharkman thought as he made his move and took the sprint uncontested!

It was a “Victory for America!” Sharkman thought as he thanked Cheese for the “Hellasious” lead out!

Riders at the first G crossing!

The Nation headed out to the Col de Norte and B-Rod was talking about the “great pace” the Nation was maintaining. As the Nation headed towards the Zyckmaan Estate, it happened. Something that will go down in the annals of Minion folklore for some time to come. Here, in the words of the “Sweetheart of the Peloton” herself, is what happened........

“I saw a chipmunk standing on the side of the road. He watched a couple bikes go by, in awe with how great the Nation looked in their Minion kit, then took a little step out into the road, then turned the other way, then turned back to the road, then turned the other way, then turned back to the road, then turned the other way, then turned back to the road and went for it. He got slammed by somebody's wheel immediately. His little bod was lifeless as I passed by. Poor fella. That was one highly weighed and very BAD decision.

A metaphor for life, perhaps?”

Oh, the humanity!

(Editors note – Thank you Gazelle Girl for this very touching story......)

In this same section, Gazelle Girl reported hearing a guy working at someones home on Gull Lake who marveled, “It's a TEAM!”

He was reported as looking VERY impressed (hey, who wouldn't be, right Bunkie?!)!

B-Rod regales the nation......

After grouping up at the Feed Station, formally Frona's and now known as “the Queen Grille.” Uh, Queen's Grille.......O.K...... the Nation headed south through the Inlet and past the Digital Divide.

It was at the Digital Divide that Easty stated he would head back on his own as he had a sour stomach and Sharkman wanted to insure he was O.K., but he assured our hero he would get back on his own. (Easty did arrive at the Klutch a few minutes late, but subsequent follow up by Belo News revealed the legendary rider is feeling better and should be back this week!)

"So, I made my move and won........

B-Rod tried to get a pace line going and though everyone shouted “Nice and easy, don't accelerate at the front,” the Nation struggled to get an even pace going. Riders were too long at the front and the acceleration caused surging in the pace line. However, the pace continued to climb as the Nation came to Gazelle Girls GGG Spot Sprint!

Once again, the Nation honored their “Sweetheart” by leading her out to the sprint, though they made her do most of the work at the front, so to speak (Number 9 on the list? Belo News reports, you, the reader decide!).

All was set for the final assault on the finish.

The Nation clung together as they headed for their finishing destiny, each rider envisioning pulling off the win.

Reb stops for koffee!

Sharkman was concerned that the speed was up, the Nation was bunched, and the Nation seemed do have “blood in their eyes!”

As the Nation took the speed up on the final ascent before the finish, they were still all full of blood lust as the chipmunk was fresh in their collective memories!

On the final descent, B-Rod, Wildman and Cycocross went to the front to fight it out, with B-Rod dipping into his suitcase of courage and nipping Wildman at the line with Cycocross right behind him!

A toast to a great season!

A nice, clean finish! Sharkman recorded 20.2 mph average while B-Rod had 20.7 mph. Suffice it to say, it was this season's fastest KK-TdG ride of the year!

The crowds were subdued on the Champs le Galesburg as word of the dead chipmunk began to circulate......

But things were rocking at the Klutch!

Stryker Guy bought the first few koffee's and since Sharkman is one of the fastest ever people in line for koffee, he benefited from the gracious act of kindness!

Wildman told the story of how he loves his Minion Jersey so much, every time he takes it out he points out to his his wife, the “Lovely Gwen” how “detailed” it is. He thinks she has heard just about enough about the jersey, but Sharkman suggested he buy one for her next season! Is this a great country or what!

The koffee was flowing as Sharkman lead the Nation in a toast to a great season, of which there are only two weeks left before the Minions head to the Fort to start training for Iceman! Oh, the humanity, where did summer go?!?

But there are two more rides left!

This Saturday, September 27, 2014

Final College Game Day Jersey Day!

Pull out your favorite College Kit and come on out and ride!

Launch Time – 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

And you won't want to miss the Season Road Finale!

Saturday, October 4, 2014

The “Sharkman Goes on Medicare Ride!”

Don't miss the "Sharkman goes on
Medicare Ride!"

That's right, Sharkman goes on Medicare on October 1 and will be buying the koffee and birthday cake at the Klutch! Is this a great country or what!?

Come out and ride the last road ride of the year and help Sharkman celebrate his old age and the fact he is still riding! Oh, the humanity!

Attire for this momentous occasion, of course will be “Minion Jersey's!

You won't want to miss this ride!

More on the Fort Rides in future editions of “Your source for all you cycling information, Belo News!”

Be there Bunkie!

MINIONS ROCK AT DANCES WITH DIRT!

Belo News

Style Guy shown here wading thru a
farm pond on his last leg. You go
Squeaky!

September 20, 2014

Waterloo State Park, Mi. - It was “Dances with Dirt” Day near Chelsea this past weekend and the nation was represented by a couple of legendary Minions. Sharkman use to take part in this race and actually competed in it the first 5 years of it's existence.

Hoosier Boy after taking 24th at
Dances with Dirt!

Hoosier Boy and that Style Guy, Squeaky, were both in attendance and their team finished 24^th out of 300 plus teams after the handicap system was used! This qualified them in the top 50 for a prize!

Great job Minions! You did the Nation proud!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THE PHOTOGRAPHER?!?

TRAIN, WHAT TRAIN?

TOP EIGHT GGG SPOT SPRINT COMMENTS OF THE WEEK!

ANOTHER MINION JERSEY DAY? OH, THE HUMANITY!

MINIONS RULE AT CORPORATE CUP!

NEW LAUNCH TIME – NEW LAUNCH TIME – NEW LAUNCH TIME!

Sharkman and his mighty Minion Nation!

Belo News

September 13, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - The emails started coming in early from the Nation. “Sorry I can't make the historic ride. I'm in Corporate Cup on Saturday.” Or, “I have a family commitment and so sorry I can't make it....” or, “I have a load of laundry to do and can't make it....” Wait, what?

Our favorite note here at the Belo News Office was, “I have Corporate Cup this weekend and am very sorry I will not be able to take part in the 'Cult like Worship' of our intrepid hero, the Sharkman.....”

Legend of the Peloton, the Pirate, actually couldn't make it because he was working in Spain but did his own Shark Minion Jersey ride in the Spanish countryside and sent in a photo! Sharkman, feeling badly that he would miss the ride, flew to Spain to join him! (See photo).

Sharkman flew to Spain to
ride with the Pirate?!?

But we digress........

As dawn attempted to break through the clouds gathering over the Shark Cove, our intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was more than excited.

After all, it was the first ever, Shark Minion Jersey Day and he could hardly wait to get that baby on his back and ride!

However, the weather report had not been good all week and as he rolled back the shark bedspread, he could see the mist of his breath in the air as he jumped from his warm bed.

As he looked out the window of the Cove, he noted the streets were wet, but it didn't look like it was raining. A quick check of the radar indicated the rain was past even though the streets were wet.

Sharks like wet!

As our hero “layered” on the clothes so that he could wear his new Shark Jersey so everyone could see, he still worried about the 49 degree temps. So he decided to put on a rain jacket that he could take off once he arrived at the start and for the photos.

Easty had graciously offered to have a professional photographer at the start to make sure this historic event would be properly achived in film!

As our hero launched from the Cove, he saw Rainman riding out to join him! Rainman on wet streets? This was a special day!

Shortly after, Nikeboy jumped on stating he could only ride to the start and then had to get back and shortly after, Mad Dog jumped on for the ride over.

As the foursome crossed I-94, Sharkman commented that the dark cloud to the west didn't look good and no sooner had he said it, then it started to rain. All were glad they had rain jackets on and Rainman wanted it duly noted that he was, in fact, “riding in the rain!”

The rain was short lived and as the four went past the Klutch, they began to peel their rain jackets off to show off their jerseys to the early morning group at the Klutch.

The sun shines on the early arriving Nation!

As the four approached the start, they were struck by the vision of several Minions in their jerseys with the sun shining through on them. Actually, Sharkman had to get a photo of the riders who were there early. Sharkman posed with Easty, Zyckmaan (more on the name spelling change later), Wildman, the Skipper, Mad Dog, Rainman, Brewman and B-Rod.

More riders poured into the start including Iceman and Chains, Stroker, Polar Bear, the only rider in attendance in shorts (what a stud!), and Reb making a return to the Nation on his Cross Bike. Later, Gazelle Girl and that “other guy” known as Ironman came riding in for the group photo!

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THE PHOTOGRAPHER?!?

The only person missing was the photographer! Where in the world was the photographer?

Easty got on the cell and learned she was running late, so he told her to meet the Nation at the Kellogg Manor for the photo.

After a few photos of the momentous start line up, 16 riders toed the line, though two were only there for the photo as 15 riders headed out behind none other than, the Skipper!

As the riders stopped for the light in downtown Galesburg, Andrew came out of the Klutch, looking good in his Shark Minion T Shirt! Way to go Andrew!

TRAIN, WHAT TRAIN?

As the Nation made the turn, Amtrak came steaming into town blowing their horn to warn the Minions. However, this did not stop B-Rod and others who took off after him, much to

Jersey designers, Zyckmaan, Sharkman,
Gazelle Girl and....wait, what the......

the dismay of the Amtrak Engineer! Sharkman commented that if it was a tie, B-Rod would be a non factor in the finishing sprint!

Half the Nation made it, while the other, more intelligent Minions, had to wait for the train as the Engineer seemed to stay on his horn a bit longer than normal as he tore through town.

Skipper tried to keep the Nation in check and for the most part was successful. However B-Rod and Mad Dog opened a big gap heading into the first sprint but in homage to our hero, let up so that the old Shark could get the first sprint!

As the Nation headed north, Zyckmaan got frisky and started taking sprints and won the King of Mountain on the col de Twin Lakes. Meanwhile, Easty was on the cell with the photographer who stated she would meet the Nation at the Gull Lake Country Club. So Easty and the Skipper took the cut off and headed to the Kountry Klub to meet here while the Nation competed through she speed zone of the Yorkville Church, Kellogg Corner and the Kountry Club.

Once at the Kountry Klub, Easty was back on the phone with her asking where she was. She thought she was at the Gull Lake Country Club and when Easty asked her to read the sign, she read Gull Lake View Golf Course! Someone should have given her a Minion Jersey with the map on the back! Oh, the humanity!

It was a pretty proud day
for our intrepid hero!

As the Nation flew by the Kountry Klub, they could see Easty on the phone with Skipper standing next to him.

Sharkman held up to get them back to the peloton when he got the story from Easty. The photographer would meet them at the Kellogg Manor.

The Nation then climbed the col de Norte and on to the Kellogg Manor.

No photographer.....

The Nation paraded through the parking lot and did get to see a group of vintage cars that were fantastic, but no photographer. Easty got on the cell phone, but the photographer wasn't sure where the Kellogg Manor was, so Easty told her to meet us at the Klutch and the Nation moved on through the Holy Rollers and on to the Feed Station at Frona's which is not Frona's anymore. Wait, what?

That's right, Bunkie, Frona's is no longer Frona's! Oh, the humanity!

As the peloton grouped up they headed to the Inlet Sprint, past the Digital Divide and on to GGG Spot Sprint, a very nice pace line formed up.

TOP TEN GGG SPOT SPRINT COMMENTS OF THE WEEK!

As the Nation bore down on the final climax at G Ave., Iceman was at the front and that was when the Top Eight Comments about the GGG Spot Sprint began!

1. Iceman at the front of the pace line asked, “is she back there!” to which Gazelle Girl responded, “Yes, I'm almost there!”

Just then, Ironman and Zyckmaan came around to the front with Gazelle Girl on their wheels. What a lead out team!

2. Both riders where trying to get her into position for the final finish!

3. Gazelle Girl to Zyckmaan, “Faster, faster!” To which Zyckman responded, “That's all I've got! I'm feeling like a porn star!”

4. As the threesome “bore down” to the final climax to the sprint....

5. Some shouted out “it looks like it took a Nation to get her there!”

With a great deal of cheering and yelling for Gazelle Girl to get there, she went over the sprint line in first place!

Heard from the peloton;

6. It has been a long time since Gazelle Girl finished on top!

7. Winning the GGG Spot Sprint was a long time coming!

And number 8.......drumroll please.......here it comes...(no pun intended....).....

8. Sharkman stated, “Man, I thought I had “beat” that GGG Spot Sprint joke to death!”

The Nation then crossed G Ave. and began to set up for the final with riders at the front like a “who's who” of Minion Legends!

Polar Bear went to the front to take up the pace, with Iceman, Chains, B-Rod, Mad Dog, Zyckmaan, Rainman, Wildman, Sharkman and the entire peloton on their wheels.

Iceman took over as they approached the final ascent and put in a humongous pull at the front.

Cleverly, the veteran rider let up and a cast of thousands went by as he moved back and took a breath as he sat in after the big pull.

However, as suspected, Iceman came back and both Mad Dog and B-Rod were waiting for the move as Mad Dog led out B-Rod to counter the attack.

Andrew and Sharkman in their kit!

Iceman then made his final move, putting in an electric sprint, and took the lead, with B-Rod and Chains in close pursuit!

"Love the back of that T, Andrew!"

It went down to the wire before Chains lost B-Rod's wheel and Iceman took the final tape with B-Rod right behind him! Chains filled out the final podium spot.

It was pandemonium on the Champs le Galesburg as our hero's zipped up their Shark Minion Jersey's for the sponsors and fan's!

The Klutch was rocking with Andrew was waiting in his Shark Minion T with the hot koffee in hand!

Moments later, Boatman arrived, in his Shark Minion Jersey stating he had not ridden to the

The photographer actually getting a shot!

start because it was pouring rain, then he had trouble finding the Nation when the rain had stopped and he had ventured out! Never fear, as the Boatman still can say he rode on the “First Ever Shark Minion Jersey Day! Is this a great country or what?!?

As the riders settled in, the photographer finally found the Nation and asked if she could still take photos of the group, to which everyone said, “sure!”

It was over koffee that our intrepid hero noticed that the former “Zickman” had another spelling of his name on his jersey collar. “Zyckmaan” is now his “official” name. This “man of class” felt the the simple “Zickman” did not clearly demonstrate his pzazz and pinache and wanted something more, shall we say, "trendy."  So, Zyckmaan it is....sort of a Bob Marley way of saying it Maaan! Has this guy got pzazz or what!?!

It was a beautiful day in the Nation!

After a lot of festivities (and a whole bunch of laugning) at the Klutch, the riders went across the street for photographs with the lost photographer. The Nation awaits how those photos come out!

Sharkman then saddled up with Mad Dog and Rainman for the ride home!

What will happen this week!

Here is what will happen, Bunkie!

Back by popular demand and since so many riders are waiting to wear their jersey's, the Commissioner of Cycling has declared yet another “Shark Minion Jersey Day!”

This Saturday, September 20, 2014

NEW LAUNCH TIME – NEW LAUNCH TIME- NEW LAUNCH TIME!

Due to the cold last week, and more cold predicted this week, the new launch time will be;

LAUNCH TIME – 9:00 A.M. - SHARP!

So get out those Shark Minion Jersey's and get ready to ride!

MINIONS ROCK AT CORPORATE CUP!

Belo News

September 12-13, 2014

Dreamboat and Mighty Monk (seen
in the middle) with others on
Team Pop!

Battle Creek, Mi. - As previously reported, some of the Nation couldn't make the ride because they were taking part in Corporate Cup in Battle Creek (what were they thinking.....?).

Mighty Monk reported in on how the Minions rocked at this annual event:

Team Pop, with Dreamboat and Mighty Monk on board, won both the Men's One Mile and 5K Run for the weekend!

Nice going Minions! You did the Nation proud!

FALL SCHEDULE POSTED!

Belo News

September 27 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - So take a look a the upcoming fall schedule:

Scheduling change as we have one more Shark Minion Jersey Day and eliminate “Retro Jersey Day.” Maybe next year!

Saturday, September 20, 2014 – One more Shark Minion Jersey Day!

Saturday, September 27, 2014 – One more College Game Day!

Saturday, October 4, 2014 – Sharkman Goes on Medicare Day! Oh, the humanity!

Shark Minions Jersey's will be in order as Sharkman supplies the birthday cake!

So mark your calendars Minions before we head into Mountain Bike season!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.

SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY – NEW LAUNCH TIME!

GET A COMMEMORATIVE PHOTO WITH SHARKMAN! OH, THE HUMANITY!

BEER ...WHAT DAY?!

B-Rod, Wildman, Brewman and Stryker Guy in
their Beer Jersey kit!

SHOULD SHARKMAN BE ON A MILK CARTON?

DEBBIE DARK MATTER UPDATE!

THE RETURN OF SHARKMAN & GAZELLE GIRL!


Belo News
September 6, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - As dawn broke over the Shark Cove, your intrepid hero, the Sharkman, was packing up the Sharkmobile for a trip back to Chicago for a family function.

But the ride goes on!  And we have not one, but two reports from two legends of the peloton!

First, Easty gives a riveting review of Beer Jersey Day in the way only he can deliver a hard hitting story!  Second, legendary rider Stryker Guy reveals he can not only climb the mountains of the Tour de France, but can write like Hemingway!  Big thanks to both Minions for their outstanding work!

First, Easty!

BEER WHAT DAY!

In a potential revelation of reading comprehension amongst well educated adults we had 4...yes, FOUR riders show up in beer jerseys for today's ride. The story behind that story would reveal that those 4 riders represented fully 33% of today's minion nation so did we truly suffered from lack of comprehension, aftermath of last night's storm or (could it be?) a mass hangover?

Perhaps the arduous work of getting one's beer jersey prepped for the ride stimulated thoughts of sampling the product advertised and the Kool Aid overpowered the minions?

Not to be denied, the four horsemen (pictured below) B-Rod, Wildman, Brewman and Stryker Guy were on point and ready to prove that you can lead a minion to a beer jersey ride and make him drink (koffee) too.

FIELD of DEBRIS?

Westy, pre-broken spoke!

The beloved field of dreams was transformed by last night's storm into a "ménage la wood" as trees, branches and leaves transformed our raceway into a pseudo cyclo cross course. Stryker Guy and I were sharing funny (we were supremely confident about that aspect) stories about our cyclo experiences racing in "C" class with aspirations to move to "B" someday. (Actually SG had "inadvertently" moved up on one occasion and suffers from the memory of being yelled at to "move aside!")

Little did we know that today we would experience a "B" Rod version of "psyclo"cross as our very own speed frenzied minion "wood" not be denied by the chaos that confronted the minion nation. Charging forward like a high speed tracked vehicle (that would be a bulldozer), he was determined to maintain " minion speed" at all costs.

Post ride ceremonies at the Klutch would reveal a grumpy "we suck" from our super competitive speed freak as he revealed we were only able to achieve a 20.1 mph average in "what should have been a 21mph day at least." Gotta love those that push us to excel.....can you say Mad Max on a Cannondale?

ZICKMAN CONFUSED?

Someone tell Zickman that's a
Vodka Jersey?

Sporting a dazzling jersey with some dynamite socks, the venerable ZICKMAN seems to be confused about beer jersey day and vodka jersey day? Is SKY the generic (read cheap) version of SKYY?? Maybe they include a jersey with every bottle? Who knows.....but let's all hope he doesn't take up tequila.....I know what comes in that bottle.

LOST YOUR POWER OR GOT A STICK UP YOUR SPOKES, BUNKIE???

The perfect storm was not going to leave the minions unscathed as Westy incurred the first broken spoke award of the season after amazingly :-) encountering a stray branch on today's ride. The resulting rear wheel wobble and brake rub was spotted by Easty (that's me) as he fell back to pick up a faltering Westy at the end of the Kountry Klub section. Noticeably tired from pedaling with his brake on, the winded Westy was really beginning to question his two wheeled talents.

Some expert mechanical triage from Mad Dog and B Rod removed the snapped off spoke and enabled the wounded Cannondale and rider to limp homeward with one working brake and a noticeable "cha cha" in his hindquarters.

MINION JERSEY RIDE NEXT WEEK!!!!

Gazelle Girl made a glamor call and merchandise delivery in a post ride Klutch appearance as she

Catfish in the Fire Lane!

prepared and inspired the nation for the inaugural Minion Jersey ride. "Channeling" the great Sharkenator she challenged all minions to rise to the occasion and "blow it off the sprockets" next Saturday with a record turnout.

SPRINT WINNERS

From my seat, it is Consumers Power.....who sprinted to the rescue and returned power to the "House of the Rising Sun" (Easty ...get it?) in record time last night so no beauty sleep was lost prior to KK-TdG day!

As far as biking is concerned, the Zickman made several nice sprints and pulls along with B-Rod, Mad Dog, Brewman, a super fast Catfish and a Cheetah.

Cannot imagine how difficult this will be next week with everyone in the same jersey! Good luck Sharkman!!!


(Editor Note – Thanks Easty!  We know one thing for certain, the winner this Saturday will be in a Shark Minion Jersey! Well, unless some fast guy comes and spoils it for everyone.....)

Now from Styker Guy, who ponders the question everyone is asking:

WHERE'S SHARKMAN??

Yes, all are wondering where the elusive Sharkman is hiding and when he will return to the Mighty

Sasquatch looking over the competition!

Minion Nation. Rumors were flying around that people had seen Sharkman and Bissell Boy dragging Stryker Guy around the Barry Roubaix course, but no one could verify it.

The starting chute was a bit light with a handful of Minions discussing whether they'd seen Sharkman on a milk carton or on the back of a semi truck. When the peloton departed, 11 minions followed Minion Legend, Zickman to the starting line. Kid Doster and Cheetah joined the group as they headed toward the first sprint. The boys didn't seem too excited to see Cheetah knowing that the pace would pick up significantly (they weren't disappointed).

Catfish led the group out to the first sprint, but let his foot off the gas to allow Zickman to take it as a show of respect for the veteran Minion. The pace quickened going into the Col de Twin Lakes as B-Rod, in his trend setting black knee socks, moved to the front. Cheetah, Mad Dog and Catfish fought each other off to the sprint finish.

Stryker Guy on a real cross bike!

Wildman showed great form throughout and the rest of the pack (especially me) appreciated his willingness to get out in front since Wildman is one of the best drafts in the Nation. Easty and Westy were both in good form until Westy broke a spoke and had to take an early exit.

The Minions managed to dodge multiple twigs, sticks, branches, trees and each other from the Friday night storm.

As the Nation dodged the last tree coming to the final sprint it was apparent that B Rod was positioning himself to win the Green Jersey. The usual chaos emerged and it appeared from my position well back from the finish, that Catfish nipped the big man at the wire. (note: Cheetah had departed early.)

Gazelle Girl on her Go to Grocery Bike, greeted the Nation at the Klutch, sporting cool Yoga/Bike wear. Good news is that she is riding and ready to rejoin her beloved minions soon.

Guest Columnist Easty prepping for
"Z" Class Cyclocross race!

Respectfully submitted by Stryker Guy.

(Editors Note – Big thanks to both Easty and Stryker Guy for this weeks great write up!















BE A PART OF THE FIRST SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!

GET A COMMEMORATIVE PHOTO WITH SHARKMAN!

SHARKMAN AND GAZELLE GIRL RETURN!

NEW LAUNCH TIME! NEW LAUNCH TIME! NEW LAUNCH TIME!

Belo News
September 10, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - The day that every Minion has waited for is finally here!  For years, the mighty Minion Nation talked about getting Official “Shark Minion” Jerseys but never got around to it.  But that changed when Gazelle Girl and Zickman decided it was time to act!  And act they did!
Somewhere north of 55 jersey's were sold and now the Nation awaits the start of Saturday's ride to show them off to the world!

A special thanks to Gazelle Girl and Zickman for the great design work and to Gazelle Girl for taking care of all the orders and insuring delivery!  Great job Minions!

You won't want to miss this incredible event and especially to be in the first ever photo at the start! Yes, you heard that right, Bunkie!  Easty has graciously arranged a photographer to not only get the start photo, but each Minions will have an opportunity to have their photo taken with the Sharkman hizzelf!

Oh, the humanity! Is this a great country or what?!?

In addition, the “Sweetheart of the Peloton,” Gazelle Girl makes her return!

Can this get any better Bunkie?

Who knows, maybe Debbie Dark Matter will make an appearance!

After all, at the end of the day, don't you want to be able to tell your grand children that you were there on the day the mighty Minion Nation jersey made it's debut!  There will be a photo to prove it, so this isn't like the seventh game of a memorable World Series where two million people tell you they were there in a stadium that only holds 50,000 people! No, you will have photo evidence!

Don't even think about not being on one of the best rides of the year, Bunkie!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

THE FIRST EVER SHARK MINION JERSEY DAY!

Because of the light AND more importantly the fact it will be in the low 40's on Friday night,
Launch time is 8:30 A.M. - SHARP! (This will also give Gazelle Girl time to get to the start! :-)).

Don't miss this historic day, Bunkie!

DEBBIE DARK MATTER UPDATE!

Belo News
September 10, 2014

Triple Nasty Ranchero, Mi. - The final installment of Debbie Dark Matter grows up.

Gazelle Girl and Toesetter make an announcement!

FALL SCHEDULE POSTED!

Belo News
September 10, 2014

Shark Cove, Mi. - So take a look a the upcoming fall schedule:

Saturday, September 13, 2014 – Shark Minion Jersey Day! Oh, the humanity!

Saturday, September 20, 2014 – One more College Game Day!

Saturday, September 27, 2014 – Retro Jersey Day!

Saturday, October 4, 2014 – Sharkman Goes on Medicare Day! Oh, the humanity!  Shark Minions Jersey's will be in order as Sharkman supplies the birthday cake!

So mark your calendars Minions before we head into Mountain Bike season!

Riders joining the Minion rides acknowledge the inherent risk involved with bicycle riding and by joining any Minion ride hold harmless any rider involved.